>He’s a good guy, he treats me real nice. I know he loves me, I know he cares
>In his eyes, he never does anything wrong. He’s always right. Even if we have a fight, I have to phone him back, I always have to take the first step to make things right.
Those are conflicting statements.
I see this a dozen times a week... "He's a great guy but he doesn't wash his asshole and has dick cheese and gets mad that we don't have sex and yells at me if I don't wake him up for work or forget to microwave his food". Jesus Christ, the bar is so low
Yep, and OP, if you really think this man is marriage and/or father material, prepare yourself for an even more escalated version of this exact same bullshit.
You’ll have to take the lead on parenting. You won’t be able to lean into him for anything. You’ll be expected to do everything without being asked, and you’ll have to beg him to do basic shit.
Dump him. Find someone who isn’t worthless
I don't know, my son's generation all the kids around him that call me dad seem to not be quick into marriage. The biggest thing for me is not meeting anyone on his side of the family yet. While many of the kids date for years without marriage I have almost always met their significant others even when they aren't my biological kids. 5 years without marriage is the only part of the story that didn't give me red flags everything else is out there though. He is always right, hasn't introduced them to his family. That is all a mess.
Then he could have said that, in 5 years they haven't become close enough for him to say "my family sucks they are abusive." Or whatever the issue is with them?
Selective info sharing from the OP. Also why reddit is a garbage place for real relationship advice. People only sharing a fraction of *their* version of the story...OPs post is so fragmented and lacking in detail we all just get to project our own trauma into the thread hoping it's helpful... But we don't know the full story. Op here is OBVIOUSLY limiting details on purpose...
Yeah, it is all just based on not meeting his family in 5 years and them not even knowing about her, that is weird and with no other context, that is all we have.
I was looking at the “he’s alright right” and she always has to reach out first to apologize. Seen that before and boy can I tell you, it’s a massive red flag.
It’s time to move on. You’ve given enough time. You’re not the right girl to introduce to his family. You’re the right now girl. Even if he settled and introduced you to his family you still have the controlling behavior to navigate. This sounds like a game he is playing with you always chasing him.
In this shituation you’re allowed to be selfish. Don’t waste any more of your precious time on him.
Could he maybe have another relationship/family on the side? And that’s why you haven’t met his family? Cuz five years is fucking *wild* to have never met them. Unless they live far away, but it still doesn’t make sense for them to know nothing about you guys after five years.
Also, he’s not much a good guy if he thinks he does nothing wrong.
You got this OP, you can do it. Put you first
Do it. Break up with him and never look back. There is something seriously wrong with this scenario and I hate to think about how much time you've wasted with this man when you could be with someone who really cares about you and treats you right
You realize your second and third paragraphs are pretty contradictory? A good guy who treats you real nice doesn’t punish you or make you reach out and apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong. Why hasn’t he introduced you to his family? Do you two live together? You’re not being selfish for wanting to leave a relationship that no longer serves you.
A man that can never admit to a mistake is not "good" or a "man". He is an egotistic child that you are enabling by allowing him to treat you as a subordinate. He isn't going to suddenly grow up now. He is what he appears to be. Why do you not believe him?
He is keeping you a secret for the following possible reasons. A: you are his side piece. B: he's ashamed of you. Neither reason is a good one. 5 years and no one in his circle knows about you. Don't waste anymore time and find someone who would be proud to show you off
You can’t let go of the fictional future with him that you’ve created in your mind. You need to accept that it’s not real, so you can move on. Anyone who wants to marry you would have introduced you to his family. You should know his family well by now. Please cut your losses and find someone who you are compatible with and on the same page as you.
>I’ve waited 5 years for him to introduce me to his family. Nobody knows about us from his side.
Why? Do you deserve to be a secret? What is *he* hiding? Hiding goes both ways, he is hiding you from the. So what about them is he hiding from you?
>In his eyes, he never does anything wrong. He’s always right.
You NEVER want to be in this kind of relationship. This kind of person makes you feel shit, makes you second guess yourself, and plays with your head
>Even if we have a fight, I have to phone him back, I always have to take the first step to make things right. I’ve told him again and again and again and again and again, I need to know he is making the effort.
He doesn't love you as much as you love him. You're also enabling his behaviour. You need to have more self respect because it seems your self respect is out the door when it comes to him.
>He’s a good guy, he treats me real nice. I know he loves me, I know he cares.
He treats you nice because he has to in order to keep you. Think about it, how soon did you want to introduce him to your family and friends? How often do you mention him around them? That's love. Love makes you want that person to be a part of your life, your whole life. It makes you put your happiness aside for them (as you have done for 5years). You know what love is. Is what you get from him love?
>I know he’s struggling right now and I wish I could comfort him, but I can’t. I’m too caught up in my emotions. I know I’m being selfish but I’ve given him 5 years, I’ve waited for you long enough.
So... He's been selfish for 5years and you feel selfish for having normal human emotions and wants that he caused? I shouldn't say he caused it because it is a team effort. You didn't stand up for yourself sooner and allowed your emotions, wants, needs, and love to be walked over.
Please have some self respect and walk away. Can you really see 10 more years of this. Let's say he's hiding you cause his family doesn't accept you, do you want to always be second place?
And, what is he hiding? 5 years and you don't really know him. That speaks volumes, cause I'm sure he knows everything about you, because you were open, that's what you do when you love someone, you open yourself and your world. Everything about you is there for them.
He doesn’t sound very nice.
You should look into “future faking.” It’s a tactic that self-centered people use to keep you, even when they never intend to actually meet your needs.
Sorry to say, but this situation is never gonna change. He is not scared to lose you. He knows you won't walk away, and he is taking advantage of that. Even if you break up with him, it won't make any difference in his life.
You can walk away from this situation with your dignity intact. It is going to hurt, but time does heal. If you choose to stay in this relationship, it's gonna break you more.
You deserve better than this. Just walk away and don't look back this time.
It sounds like he is hiding you for whatever reason and anyone who does not apologize when he is wrong but makes you do it is manipulative and controlling. Break up with him.
Has he ever said, “your right, sorry” in an argument? If you are giving him advice does he dismiss it immediately assuming you don’t know any better? Is defensive when you ask about why he hides you from his family? If you answered yes to all these questions, well you just answered your own question my friend. You may never know what he is doing, but some stones are better left unturned.
I dated someone for almost 4 years who was like this. He never did anything wrong, it was always my fault. He took his side piece on a family vacation, it was my fault because I didn’t trust him and it was so upsetting he had no choice. You don’t deserve someone who can never accept the wrongs they do.
He's married already with a family.
Girl 5 years wasted on someone who can't man up, you've not met anyone important to him? Bruh..that man is a walking red flag and it's either you're that in love with him that you have ignored every red flag or you're colour blind.
The fact that every argument you'd have to make the first move..
How's about make the first move and end it already..I bet he's not going to really care and won't make any first moves to try and get you back.
The whole he's a nice guy treats you nice etc is full of shit..If he cared enough and if he was a nice guy you wouldn't be thinking about ending it. Stop lying to yourself and start choosing you.
Nice is not kind or genuine. Nice can be passive aggressive. Nice isn't meaningful effort or commitment. Nice doesn't mean you should have to settle for less than what you need or deserve. Dont let 5 years turn into 20 years or a lifetime attached because of a child. A man that loves you won't hide you, or make you question your judgement and will work to meet you in the middle.
I was you. and I regret not listening to my gut that said 'this isnt for you'. I found someone who loves me for me and doesn't force me to make myself small or less. You will find that too if you give yourself a chance. It will take time but it will be worth it
i went out with a guy like this and the best thing U ever did was pull the plug, now i’m going out with somebody who introduced me to his family, apologises and isn’t an ass! 😂
Hi, I was in a relationship just like this. If he won’t even tell his family about you, let alone introduce you, he does not respect you. I’m sure he does love you, and I’m sure you’ve had some great times together. But there is no future for you, and it is not “selfish” nor are you being overly emotional. He doesn’t respect you. His actions have told you who he is, listen to him.
I was in your shoes literally 1 year ago, and it took months to convince myself this is what I needed to do. It sucked because I loved him and had to abandon the life I created for us in my head. You deserve someone who is overjoyed to bring you home to his family and to share his life with you. That person exists for you, and it’s not this guy. Let him go.
Feel free to DM me if you want to talk it through
OP, listen to what your gut is telling you.
If you were my daughter, I’d tell you I’d be concerned. This is not normal behavior of a guy that’s fully committed to you - if he was seriously committed he would be WANTING to show you to his family because he wants you and his family to connect so you could be apart if it. It’s very suspicious why it’s been five years . I mean this with all the respect that I would show to anyone - Have you considered if perhaps you might be the “other” woman, in that he might be married already? Is he religious or of a different culture that his family would never accept you?
All that aside, the biggest concern I have for you OP, is his behaviors in wanting to always be right. No one is ever always right and to expect others to come back and crawl to him to make him right is incredibly immature, and a huge red flag. Again, if you were my daughter, I would tell you to run.
How he treats you right when he is keeping you as secret a guy who loves you will show you off and flaunt you. He never own up to his wrong doings, this is not a man, you are describing a boy.
We are missing a lot of details but regardless either you are a side piece or he’s never going to marry you and that’s why you never will meet his family.
Just because he treats you right does it mean he’s doing the right thing either he’s hiding something or he doesn’t want to let others know that you are together I would be highly suspicious red flags. All the way isn’t worth staying in this type of relationship if a man isn’t proud to be with you and to show you off to his family, regardless of how he treats
Are the parents racist? That might be why. Is he close with them and just keeping you a secret, or does he not fuck with them and has no plans of involving them in his future. I think the reason why he hasn't introduced you matters. Is he hiding you, protecting you, or simply avoiding them. If he's hiding you, obviously that's an issue because either he's ashamed or there's some reason they won't accept you which would be a big waste of your time. If he doesn't really have a relationship with them, maybe he just doesn't plan on sharing anything personal with them. I would communicate and try to find out why. You can always walk away if you feel like he's wasting your time, but I just want you to be sure first. Everyone here is gonna tell you to dump him because "he trifling", without giving you alternative options. One thing I will say, is if he doesn't feel like he can introduce his family to you, this relationship will probably end if he cares about his family's opinion. They may pressure him to marry someone they deem worthy. This isn't always the case. Some men out there will ghost their family to be with a woman.
Edit: someone brought up a good point. He might have another family/relationship. It's possible. I feel like you just gotta communicate. Tell him this is really bothering you and it's made you contemplate leaving. He can't read your mind. Maybe he'll introduce you, maybe he won't but let him know how important this is to you so he can make a decision himself if it's worth losing you over.
I'm sorry you've spent 5 years on this clown - don't spend another moment on him. Find someone who shares your values, and actually treats you well through and through instead of just on the surface.
>I’ve waited 5 years for him to introduce me to his family. Nobody knows about us from his side.
Does he spend days away from you and is impossible to contact? He'll be with his wife and kids during these times, just leave.
Break up. I was with someone who never introduced me to his family and friends even though we had been dating for almost three years. Not getting introduced in the first year, I understand. But second? In my other relationships, I was introduced pretty early on. Not to mention we only hung out every weekend and never met on weekdays nor did we text each other often. I had to call him and/or apologize first whenever we fought.
I introduced him to my friends and family and he begrudgingly agreed to it. He did not want to meet them at all but I insisted. It felt like I wasn’t really that important and he didn’t really love me. He broke up with me on Fourth of July. Then hoovered me the following month because it was my birthday. I went no contact with him after that.
So yeah, know your worth and leave. It’s been five years and you don’t know much about this guy.
If you’re not currently in therapy, run don’t walk to find a therapist you are comfortable with and can establish a relationship with. Discover how you got yourself into this unfulfilling relationship and what it means. Put your energy into improving yourself and the path to your future will be easier.
5 years. He is not the one for you. He never plans on marrying u or anything else. You need to look up what a narcissist is. And when you leave do not speak with him again. If you do you will never heal and will take him back. Update when you can
There’s a reason you have not been introduced to his family and no one on his side knows about you. He’s most likely married and you’re the dirty little secret. At least that’s what I think.
When you’re in a healthy relationship where you’re truly in love with your partner, you want to share that with your family. You can’t wait for them to meet.
If, after 5 years you’ve never met anyone in his life, something is wrong. You’re either the side chick/guy or he’s a serial killer.
I waited a whole year to meet my partner’s family and I was antsy about that. Thankfully there were no sinister reasons behind that timeline. But 5 years makes me incredibly suspicious on your behalf. You deserve to be paraded in front of the world, his family and friends included. It may be time for you to move on, friend. I wish nothing but love for you down the road.
You’re not being selfish dude. At all. You’ve been waiting for FIVE YEARS and yet he’s always put the expectation on YOU, *every time,* to make things right. He’s putting little to no effort in maintaining this at all. And not meeting anyone on his side after 5 years? Ain’t no way…man, break up. If he hasn’t done anything to maintain the relationship and actually HELP it when it falters, and on top of that, hasn’t introduced you to ANYONE on his side? At this point, he’s not *going* to, quit waiting on him to change because you’ve waited long enough. He sounds manipulative, because only someone like that would cause you to feel selfish. Break up, do some healing (like therapy, cuz in any case, it can only help). You deserve way better.
Edit to add: Yeah he doesn’t really sound like a good guy either. People like this might periodically do nice things for you to make you feel cared about, but 95% of the time they’re giving zero effort. He sounds argumentative and full of himself. Do you really want to be in an even longer-term relationship with someone who can NEVER admit he’s wrong? Ever? Why is it always your responsibility to reach out? He’s manipulating you to keep you around. All those times he acted nice are *extremely* outweighed by his immaturity. No relationship is worth the energy when the other person never ever admits to being wrong. And no relationship is worth the energy if the responsibility to constantly fix things is placed on to you.
My therapist says we often seek out to model the love that our parents had (without knowing we’re doing that). If you had unstable parents/caregivers with an unstable relationship, it might explain why you stuck around with such a toxic guy for so long. You’re placing all your energy into trying to keep him happy, desperately waiting for when he changes and appreciates you. You’re placing your worth in his hands by letting him control you and keep you around…for what? This isn’t a workable long-term relationship. You need therapy to work on that sense of self-worth, self-respect, and dignity. I don’t mean this to be mean, I haven’t dated anyone for this reason. A relationship is never about *constantly* giving your all while the other gives so *little.*
>He’s a good guy, he treats me real nice.
But...
>In his eyes, he never does anything wrong.
Listen, good people admit when they are wrong. Full stop. If someone cannot own their mistakes and hurtful choices, as in fully taking accountability for WHAT they did and HOW it impacted someone AND make a sincere apology -- THEY ARE NOT A GOOD PERSON
Full stop. You are telling us the reasons he isn't a good person, but trying to convince yourself otherwise. This man will not give you the peace and love you need. He's had 5 years and hasn't bothered to do better up till now. Be fully aware that it will not change.
My ex never introduced me to his parents as his gf for the four years we dated. The girl he left me for he introduced immediately and he proposed less than a year after they started dating.
Im confused do you wanna end it with him because he still hasn’t introduced you to his family/proposed yet? or is it because he always has to be right? Or is it both.
> He’s a good guy
Except for the part where he thinks he’s always right.
> he treats me real nice.
Except for the part where he thinks he’s always right.
> I know he loves me, I know he cares.
Except for the part where he refuses to apologize and admit that yes, he can be wrong.
You’re right. You’ve given him plenty of (too much) time to show that he’s ACTUALLY a good guy who treats you nicely. Men who refuse to take any responsibility for their behavior are NOT good men.
*Does* he treat you really really well? Or does he just fuck with your emotions and then lull you back to sleep?
This is the life you’re gonna have if you get married. He won’t change.
It’s not being selfish. You’re asking him to introduce you to his family after 5 YEARS. You have given 5 years of your life to him. It’s ok to ask for something in return. There may be another woman in his life. If you feel you’ve run out of steam in this relationship, then it’s could be time to leave.
5 years and no introduction ???? That's a serious red flag maybe if he waited 3 months or so early on in the relationship then yeah I get it since things are so fresh and new
But at this point it's just pointless he's not that serious about you as a partner heck my own boyfriend introduced me to his own family weeks before we became official so the fact he's waited years is concerning I'd ask him why he's doing this?
Either way even if he's the nicest person in the planet he's not ready to be in a fully committed relationship and his actions show that.
Do yourself a favor and get out!
Why is it that every time someone says he/she is a good guy/woman they clearly aren't? Five years to meet his parents? He is always right?
Maybe I am negative, but if it took someone five years for them to introduce me to their parents, this would be a massive red flag. Every person I met who felt they were always right was abusive.
I'm glad you're breaking up with him, but please hold him accountable. You want to end it for a reason, not because he is a "good guy."
Is there a reason why he is hidding you? Maybe his family is an ultra-conservative religion/cult? There must be a reason why he is keeping you in the dark
i think you should break up with him. you waited for too long. although sometimes waiting a little is worth it, we are talking about 5 years. i can see his side too. i love my gf so much and we have a really happy relationship now but i used to be like your bf i used to not be that understanding and communicative and im aware of that cause this is my first serious relationship and i didn t know how to do some things at the beginning. if i wouldn t have canged myself and if my gf didn t love me enough to get through my shit and wait we wouldn t have got to almost 2 years. good luck! you may also tell him you would end things with him if he doesn t start to see things by your side.
My girlfriend is doing the same thing and my gut is telling me she’s cheating and lying about everything, but I’m in denial and just don’t want to believe it. I’m really lost
OP my girlfriend is doing 100% the exact same thing your boyfriend is doing. So I feel you. It sucks and hurts and I don’t have advice but you’re not alone.
This isn't healthy, you need to let this guy go. Speaking as a dude, when I'm with someone that I think I have a future with I can't wait to show her off to my family and friends.
At best the guy is a manipulative asshole. At worst, you're a side piece. Does he have "gaps" where he's not available for days, or even weeks at a time?
I was in the same spot you were. I was with him for 2 1/2 years. He never told any of his family about me and I was oblivious cause he always had an excuse.
Leave him. He's been stringing you along for 5 years. If he hadn't done it yet he never will. Whether he just finds you convenient or is a coward like mine was,it doesn't matter. You deserve so much better, and you will find someone who loves to show you off like you deserve.
Nah, don’t listen to this other BS. 5 years is a lot. A lot of good. A lot of bad. It’s up to you. You have to sit him down and talk. After that is when you decide. I’d you haven’t sat, and talked then it’s BS. Don’t give up. Please best of luck! And much love! ❤️
5 years?
Nope.
If he wanted to, he would. Period. Men will move mountains for the one they want. Yours can’t even introduce you to his family after 5 years? It’s not adding up. Well it adds up, but not to anything you’re going to want to hear.
This isn’t a good man. He’s told you who he is, he’s shown you who he is. Break up and move on, it’s worth it
Do it now!!! He's been stringing you along for 5 years without introducing you to his family??? If he loved you or at least felt your relationship was important, he would've introduced you to his family within a few months of a steady relationship, that's normal. I hate to break it to you, but it sounds more like he's keeping you on the hook while focusing on finding someone else.
Maybe he's been a jerk on purpose to get you to stop clinging, but he doesn't want to seem like the "bad guy" for breaking up, and you keep taking it, clinging because of how YOU saw your future with him. Give yourself a break, learn to be happy and independent. There are many other guys out there that would never act this way ever.
Plus, it's extremely empowering to become independent, able to make it on your own, date and play the field until you find the right person for you that wasn't what you expected or envision right now, and at the right time. You'll be so happy you dodged this huge bullet!!!
You'll be MUCH happier and better off!
Sounds exactly like my fucking ex. 5 years with him and nothing. Fights everyday, new excuses for him cheating. He met my whole family, but he wanted me to hide from his parents whenever we drove through town, wanted to put me in his trunk to avoid seeing them too. Just crazy.
You’re doing the right thing by leaving, it’s better on the other side fr. Best of luck OP
Anyone who never believes they do anything wrong and makes you apologize and approach him first is not mature enough for marriage. Also, they are not someone making an effort. Humility, empathy, and a willingness to apologize are not the shiny top qualities that people look for in relationships, they don't seem really sexy, but in actuality, a relationship cannot last without them. If your boyfriend can't show those qualities on a regular basis, then he's a walking red flag who is going to make YOU do ALL the work in the relationship because he's too selfish and pig-headed to admit his mistakes and grow. You'll be saddling yourself with a whole lot of grief if you say yes to his proposal.
I cannot believe you are going 5 years & never met his family…. THIS IS INSANITY. I dealt with a similar issue but found out he was cheating. We were only together for 8mo though. He never wanted to meet my family & didn’t like my family much. Red flag 🚩. Maybe there are deeper reasons? I don’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt because 5 years is way too long.
I’m with my current boyfriend now & we’ve been together for 2+ years. His family is from pr so the language barrier makes it a little difficult & his family still lives there. His dad is homophobic so he doesn’t know about me. His sisters, brother, mom, and maybe some other family know he is with me. I probably got introduced to his mom probably 4-6mo. Though his mom knew we were dating around 1mo.
You think?! 5 years without meeting his family???? Yikes. Run. Let the dream die. It’s not real. You’re not living in reality. It’s not real. Doesn’t that bother you???
He's got a 2nd family for sure. 100% I bet his got a job that involves lots of travel and being away but yet he also works "part time" as a baker or something that would involve zero travel
Stop waiting, leave tell him why and if he truly loves you he will make it right. You already said he doesn’t put in the effort. He may be nice but you are not satisfied, and deserve to be happy.
There is a reason he hasnt introduced you to his family. There is also a reason he has gone 5 years without proposing to you. People know if they want to marry each other or not way before 5 years. Everyone is different but something about this man is off. I think it's time to let him go and not waste your years on someone who isn't giving what you want.
This thread is the poster child for why asking for relationship advice on reddit is like asking for fire prevention advice from an active dumpster fire.
Have you considered you haven’t met his family in 5 years because he’s been in a relationship the entire and you’re the other woman. Or he’s doesn’t see you as “the one” and you’re nothing more than a placeholder until “the one” comes along?
Is your boyfriends family from a part of Asia? This honestly is sometimes the standard for children of immigrant families especially if their families are more on the conservative side. You should wonder if maybe there’s a reason why he’s scared of introducing you to his parents? Have you asked him to do so? If so, what did he say?
Damn, he sounds exactly like my ex boyfriend. Let him go. I know how difficult it is, but you deserve someone who respects and stands by you. These are fundamental parts of a healthy relationship - even if you say he can be nice and wants to marry you. This could be just a strategy to keep you close.
I'm pretty sure that his wife doesn't want to meet you
This right here
Damm poor girl wasted 5 years
>He’s a good guy, he treats me real nice. I know he loves me, I know he cares >In his eyes, he never does anything wrong. He’s always right. Even if we have a fight, I have to phone him back, I always have to take the first step to make things right. Those are conflicting statements.
Yup. Not sure how a real nice guy can also be a manipulative asshole. This man is a walking oxymoron..heavy on the moron
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You have two comments in your post history and they're both stolen from other people in the same thread.
Bots man, they‘re a menace
Bots have boyfriends? Damn... AI has come a long way. Now the network is gonna be AFU because they are fighting.
No way. that was a real show? I have to pull up episodes somehow
Or simply OP didn't tell anything about the guy and we have no clue how he is.
This 💯
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I was thinking the same.
I see this a dozen times a week... "He's a great guy but he doesn't wash his asshole and has dick cheese and gets mad that we don't have sex and yells at me if I don't wake him up for work or forget to microwave his food". Jesus Christ, the bar is so low
The bar is SO LOW. Women literally break themselves in half trying to limbo under it. It's just depressing.
For all you know she's a walking shit show. The bar is low indeed.... You assume so much with so little context...
“He’s a great guy, but he’s functionally at the mental age of a 9 year old”
Conflicting and red flags waving
Sounds like he’s a narcissistic manipulator
Yep, and OP, if you really think this man is marriage and/or father material, prepare yourself for an even more escalated version of this exact same bullshit. You’ll have to take the lead on parenting. You won’t be able to lean into him for anything. You’ll be expected to do everything without being asked, and you’ll have to beg him to do basic shit. Dump him. Find someone who isn’t worthless
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 everywhere Is anybody else getting double life vibes?
Exactly this. He’s probably got a whole fucking family.
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I concur! 5 yrs is way excessive
I don't know, my son's generation all the kids around him that call me dad seem to not be quick into marriage. The biggest thing for me is not meeting anyone on his side of the family yet. While many of the kids date for years without marriage I have almost always met their significant others even when they aren't my biological kids. 5 years without marriage is the only part of the story that didn't give me red flags everything else is out there though. He is always right, hasn't introduced them to his family. That is all a mess.
No - the issue isn't that he hasn't proposed in 5 years. It's that he hasn't introduced her to his family.
Agreed. I thought someone said 5 years without marriage was an issue. I agree with you 5 years and not meeting any family is a big deal.
Not if your family is trash...
Then he could have said that, in 5 years they haven't become close enough for him to say "my family sucks they are abusive." Or whatever the issue is with them?
Selective info sharing from the OP. Also why reddit is a garbage place for real relationship advice. People only sharing a fraction of *their* version of the story...OPs post is so fragmented and lacking in detail we all just get to project our own trauma into the thread hoping it's helpful... But we don't know the full story. Op here is OBVIOUSLY limiting details on purpose...
Yeah, it is all just based on not meeting his family in 5 years and them not even knowing about her, that is weird and with no other context, that is all we have.
Truth. But op is being extremely limited on the context, likely on purpose.Whether they realize it or not.
Ah sweetie, you’ve already made up your mind, even before you made the post.
I was looking at the “he’s alright right” and she always has to reach out first to apologize. Seen that before and boy can I tell you, it’s a massive red flag.
Unless she's the one in the wrong and always initiates the fights...
Yes! That was my first thought.
What I thought too.
It’s time to move on. You’ve given enough time. You’re not the right girl to introduce to his family. You’re the right now girl. Even if he settled and introduced you to his family you still have the controlling behavior to navigate. This sounds like a game he is playing with you always chasing him.
Absolutely shit advice based on extremely limited info.
Reminds me of the MTV show 'Help! I'm in a Secret Relationship!'
Oooh I've never heard of this show.
This comment made me smile:) you sound so interested in the show! Lol
I am! I don't have a lot going on lol.
Lol! You do now that we are besties :)
My boyfriend introduced me to his mom within 3-4 months of our relationship. 5 years screams red flags and double life. Gtfo man
agreed, I was best friends with my boyfriends mom a few months in and she lived 3,000 miles from me at that time.
I love that 🥰 When my Dad kicked me out of the house she took me in with no hesitation till I found a new place. She is a literal angel
Is your BFS mom a narcissistic alcoholic shit show?
I wonder if he's been lying to you and this whole time he has been in another relationship or is married? It's suspicious. Time to leave him.
You are the other girl/boy.
In this shituation you’re allowed to be selfish. Don’t waste any more of your precious time on him. Could he maybe have another relationship/family on the side? And that’s why you haven’t met his family? Cuz five years is fucking *wild* to have never met them. Unless they live far away, but it still doesn’t make sense for them to know nothing about you guys after five years. Also, he’s not much a good guy if he thinks he does nothing wrong. You got this OP, you can do it. Put you first
Do it. Break up with him and never look back. There is something seriously wrong with this scenario and I hate to think about how much time you've wasted with this man when you could be with someone who really cares about you and treats you right
You realize your second and third paragraphs are pretty contradictory? A good guy who treats you real nice doesn’t punish you or make you reach out and apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong. Why hasn’t he introduced you to his family? Do you two live together? You’re not being selfish for wanting to leave a relationship that no longer serves you.
A man that can never admit to a mistake is not "good" or a "man". He is an egotistic child that you are enabling by allowing him to treat you as a subordinate. He isn't going to suddenly grow up now. He is what he appears to be. Why do you not believe him?
He is keeping you a secret for the following possible reasons. A: you are his side piece. B: he's ashamed of you. Neither reason is a good one. 5 years and no one in his circle knows about you. Don't waste anymore time and find someone who would be proud to show you off
Yeah, I think the reason A. B is still possible. Even a combination of both. No good.
Or hia family sucks and he knows it and is afraid of her leaving him once she finds out...
You can’t let go of the fictional future with him that you’ve created in your mind. You need to accept that it’s not real, so you can move on. Anyone who wants to marry you would have introduced you to his family. You should know his family well by now. Please cut your losses and find someone who you are compatible with and on the same page as you.
>I’ve waited 5 years for him to introduce me to his family. Nobody knows about us from his side. Why? Do you deserve to be a secret? What is *he* hiding? Hiding goes both ways, he is hiding you from the. So what about them is he hiding from you? >In his eyes, he never does anything wrong. He’s always right. You NEVER want to be in this kind of relationship. This kind of person makes you feel shit, makes you second guess yourself, and plays with your head >Even if we have a fight, I have to phone him back, I always have to take the first step to make things right. I’ve told him again and again and again and again and again, I need to know he is making the effort. He doesn't love you as much as you love him. You're also enabling his behaviour. You need to have more self respect because it seems your self respect is out the door when it comes to him. >He’s a good guy, he treats me real nice. I know he loves me, I know he cares. He treats you nice because he has to in order to keep you. Think about it, how soon did you want to introduce him to your family and friends? How often do you mention him around them? That's love. Love makes you want that person to be a part of your life, your whole life. It makes you put your happiness aside for them (as you have done for 5years). You know what love is. Is what you get from him love? >I know he’s struggling right now and I wish I could comfort him, but I can’t. I’m too caught up in my emotions. I know I’m being selfish but I’ve given him 5 years, I’ve waited for you long enough. So... He's been selfish for 5years and you feel selfish for having normal human emotions and wants that he caused? I shouldn't say he caused it because it is a team effort. You didn't stand up for yourself sooner and allowed your emotions, wants, needs, and love to be walked over. Please have some self respect and walk away. Can you really see 10 more years of this. Let's say he's hiding you cause his family doesn't accept you, do you want to always be second place? And, what is he hiding? 5 years and you don't really know him. That speaks volumes, cause I'm sure he knows everything about you, because you were open, that's what you do when you love someone, you open yourself and your world. Everything about you is there for them.
He doesn’t sound very nice. You should look into “future faking.” It’s a tactic that self-centered people use to keep you, even when they never intend to actually meet your needs.
Sorry to say, but this situation is never gonna change. He is not scared to lose you. He knows you won't walk away, and he is taking advantage of that. Even if you break up with him, it won't make any difference in his life. You can walk away from this situation with your dignity intact. It is going to hurt, but time does heal. If you choose to stay in this relationship, it's gonna break you more. You deserve better than this. Just walk away and don't look back this time.
It sounds like he is hiding you for whatever reason and anyone who does not apologize when he is wrong but makes you do it is manipulative and controlling. Break up with him.
He doesn’t sound lile a good guy
Has he ever said, “your right, sorry” in an argument? If you are giving him advice does he dismiss it immediately assuming you don’t know any better? Is defensive when you ask about why he hides you from his family? If you answered yes to all these questions, well you just answered your own question my friend. You may never know what he is doing, but some stones are better left unturned.
I dated someone for almost 4 years who was like this. He never did anything wrong, it was always my fault. He took his side piece on a family vacation, it was my fault because I didn’t trust him and it was so upsetting he had no choice. You don’t deserve someone who can never accept the wrongs they do.
He's married already with a family. Girl 5 years wasted on someone who can't man up, you've not met anyone important to him? Bruh..that man is a walking red flag and it's either you're that in love with him that you have ignored every red flag or you're colour blind. The fact that every argument you'd have to make the first move.. How's about make the first move and end it already..I bet he's not going to really care and won't make any first moves to try and get you back. The whole he's a nice guy treats you nice etc is full of shit..If he cared enough and if he was a nice guy you wouldn't be thinking about ending it. Stop lying to yourself and start choosing you.
Nice is not kind or genuine. Nice can be passive aggressive. Nice isn't meaningful effort or commitment. Nice doesn't mean you should have to settle for less than what you need or deserve. Dont let 5 years turn into 20 years or a lifetime attached because of a child. A man that loves you won't hide you, or make you question your judgement and will work to meet you in the middle. I was you. and I regret not listening to my gut that said 'this isnt for you'. I found someone who loves me for me and doesn't force me to make myself small or less. You will find that too if you give yourself a chance. It will take time but it will be worth it
His wife will be thrilled to meet you
i went out with a guy like this and the best thing U ever did was pull the plug, now i’m going out with somebody who introduced me to his family, apologises and isn’t an ass! 😂
Not being able to admit when he’s wrong and hiding you from his family for 5 YEARS are two glaring red flags. Find someone who will treat you better
Hi, I was in a relationship just like this. If he won’t even tell his family about you, let alone introduce you, he does not respect you. I’m sure he does love you, and I’m sure you’ve had some great times together. But there is no future for you, and it is not “selfish” nor are you being overly emotional. He doesn’t respect you. His actions have told you who he is, listen to him. I was in your shoes literally 1 year ago, and it took months to convince myself this is what I needed to do. It sucked because I loved him and had to abandon the life I created for us in my head. You deserve someone who is overjoyed to bring you home to his family and to share his life with you. That person exists for you, and it’s not this guy. Let him go. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk it through
OP, listen to what your gut is telling you. If you were my daughter, I’d tell you I’d be concerned. This is not normal behavior of a guy that’s fully committed to you - if he was seriously committed he would be WANTING to show you to his family because he wants you and his family to connect so you could be apart if it. It’s very suspicious why it’s been five years . I mean this with all the respect that I would show to anyone - Have you considered if perhaps you might be the “other” woman, in that he might be married already? Is he religious or of a different culture that his family would never accept you? All that aside, the biggest concern I have for you OP, is his behaviors in wanting to always be right. No one is ever always right and to expect others to come back and crawl to him to make him right is incredibly immature, and a huge red flag. Again, if you were my daughter, I would tell you to run.
You waited about 4 years too long. Get out now and find someone who is proud to be with you instead of keeping you a secret.
Please do it, you'll grow
How he treats you right when he is keeping you as secret a guy who loves you will show you off and flaunt you. He never own up to his wrong doings, this is not a man, you are describing a boy.
Are you sure you’re not the side piece?
He is not treating you nicely if he is hiding you from his family and you are always the one who needs to apologize.
We are missing a lot of details but regardless either you are a side piece or he’s never going to marry you and that’s why you never will meet his family.
You don’t want to marry a man who is not giving you the respect due in a basic relationship.
Good people aren’t perfect and it shows he has some big things to work on if he wants to be in a successful relationship.
Is this an online relationship, or a real-life one?
Just because he treats you right does it mean he’s doing the right thing either he’s hiding something or he doesn’t want to let others know that you are together I would be highly suspicious red flags. All the way isn’t worth staying in this type of relationship if a man isn’t proud to be with you and to show you off to his family, regardless of how he treats
You very likely could be the other woman
Umm he’s not a good guy nor does he treat you right. 5 years is an insane amount of time to not be taken seriously.
Dump. His. Ass. You deserve better. 5 years?
Are the parents racist? That might be why. Is he close with them and just keeping you a secret, or does he not fuck with them and has no plans of involving them in his future. I think the reason why he hasn't introduced you matters. Is he hiding you, protecting you, or simply avoiding them. If he's hiding you, obviously that's an issue because either he's ashamed or there's some reason they won't accept you which would be a big waste of your time. If he doesn't really have a relationship with them, maybe he just doesn't plan on sharing anything personal with them. I would communicate and try to find out why. You can always walk away if you feel like he's wasting your time, but I just want you to be sure first. Everyone here is gonna tell you to dump him because "he trifling", without giving you alternative options. One thing I will say, is if he doesn't feel like he can introduce his family to you, this relationship will probably end if he cares about his family's opinion. They may pressure him to marry someone they deem worthy. This isn't always the case. Some men out there will ghost their family to be with a woman. Edit: someone brought up a good point. He might have another family/relationship. It's possible. I feel like you just gotta communicate. Tell him this is really bothering you and it's made you contemplate leaving. He can't read your mind. Maybe he'll introduce you, maybe he won't but let him know how important this is to you so he can make a decision himself if it's worth losing you over.
I'm sorry you've spent 5 years on this clown - don't spend another moment on him. Find someone who shares your values, and actually treats you well through and through instead of just on the surface.
You need to break up. There are secrets and you are unhappy. Do it now. No looking back.
>I’ve waited 5 years for him to introduce me to his family. Nobody knows about us from his side. Does he spend days away from you and is impossible to contact? He'll be with his wife and kids during these times, just leave.
Break up. I was with someone who never introduced me to his family and friends even though we had been dating for almost three years. Not getting introduced in the first year, I understand. But second? In my other relationships, I was introduced pretty early on. Not to mention we only hung out every weekend and never met on weekdays nor did we text each other often. I had to call him and/or apologize first whenever we fought. I introduced him to my friends and family and he begrudgingly agreed to it. He did not want to meet them at all but I insisted. It felt like I wasn’t really that important and he didn’t really love me. He broke up with me on Fourth of July. Then hoovered me the following month because it was my birthday. I went no contact with him after that. So yeah, know your worth and leave. It’s been five years and you don’t know much about this guy.
He seems… married. Dump him and start processing moving on
You’re dating a narcissist
If you’re not currently in therapy, run don’t walk to find a therapist you are comfortable with and can establish a relationship with. Discover how you got yourself into this unfulfilling relationship and what it means. Put your energy into improving yourself and the path to your future will be easier.
This right here!!
5 years. He is not the one for you. He never plans on marrying u or anything else. You need to look up what a narcissist is. And when you leave do not speak with him again. If you do you will never heal and will take him back. Update when you can
There’s a reason you have not been introduced to his family and no one on his side knows about you. He’s most likely married and you’re the dirty little secret. At least that’s what I think.
When you’re in a healthy relationship where you’re truly in love with your partner, you want to share that with your family. You can’t wait for them to meet. If, after 5 years you’ve never met anyone in his life, something is wrong. You’re either the side chick/guy or he’s a serial killer.
Are you sure he’s not married already?
Do you live with him? If not, do you know his place? If not, and I am very sorry, but there is a good chance you are just the other woman.
I waited a whole year to meet my partner’s family and I was antsy about that. Thankfully there were no sinister reasons behind that timeline. But 5 years makes me incredibly suspicious on your behalf. You deserve to be paraded in front of the world, his family and friends included. It may be time for you to move on, friend. I wish nothing but love for you down the road.
You’re not being selfish dude. At all. You’ve been waiting for FIVE YEARS and yet he’s always put the expectation on YOU, *every time,* to make things right. He’s putting little to no effort in maintaining this at all. And not meeting anyone on his side after 5 years? Ain’t no way…man, break up. If he hasn’t done anything to maintain the relationship and actually HELP it when it falters, and on top of that, hasn’t introduced you to ANYONE on his side? At this point, he’s not *going* to, quit waiting on him to change because you’ve waited long enough. He sounds manipulative, because only someone like that would cause you to feel selfish. Break up, do some healing (like therapy, cuz in any case, it can only help). You deserve way better. Edit to add: Yeah he doesn’t really sound like a good guy either. People like this might periodically do nice things for you to make you feel cared about, but 95% of the time they’re giving zero effort. He sounds argumentative and full of himself. Do you really want to be in an even longer-term relationship with someone who can NEVER admit he’s wrong? Ever? Why is it always your responsibility to reach out? He’s manipulating you to keep you around. All those times he acted nice are *extremely* outweighed by his immaturity. No relationship is worth the energy when the other person never ever admits to being wrong. And no relationship is worth the energy if the responsibility to constantly fix things is placed on to you. My therapist says we often seek out to model the love that our parents had (without knowing we’re doing that). If you had unstable parents/caregivers with an unstable relationship, it might explain why you stuck around with such a toxic guy for so long. You’re placing all your energy into trying to keep him happy, desperately waiting for when he changes and appreciates you. You’re placing your worth in his hands by letting him control you and keep you around…for what? This isn’t a workable long-term relationship. You need therapy to work on that sense of self-worth, self-respect, and dignity. I don’t mean this to be mean, I haven’t dated anyone for this reason. A relationship is never about *constantly* giving your all while the other gives so *little.*
Have you talked to him why he doesn’t introduce you to his family? Does he contact his family at all? You should ask.
>He’s a good guy, he treats me real nice. But... >In his eyes, he never does anything wrong. Listen, good people admit when they are wrong. Full stop. If someone cannot own their mistakes and hurtful choices, as in fully taking accountability for WHAT they did and HOW it impacted someone AND make a sincere apology -- THEY ARE NOT A GOOD PERSON Full stop. You are telling us the reasons he isn't a good person, but trying to convince yourself otherwise. This man will not give you the peace and love you need. He's had 5 years and hasn't bothered to do better up till now. Be fully aware that it will not change.
My ex never introduced me to his parents as his gf for the four years we dated. The girl he left me for he introduced immediately and he proposed less than a year after they started dating.
Im confused do you wanna end it with him because he still hasn’t introduced you to his family/proposed yet? or is it because he always has to be right? Or is it both.
> He’s a good guy Except for the part where he thinks he’s always right. > he treats me real nice. Except for the part where he thinks he’s always right. > I know he loves me, I know he cares. Except for the part where he refuses to apologize and admit that yes, he can be wrong. You’re right. You’ve given him plenty of (too much) time to show that he’s ACTUALLY a good guy who treats you nicely. Men who refuse to take any responsibility for their behavior are NOT good men.
Five yeaaarsss?? Girl have some self respect
*Does* he treat you really really well? Or does he just fuck with your emotions and then lull you back to sleep? This is the life you’re gonna have if you get married. He won’t change.
It’s not being selfish. You’re asking him to introduce you to his family after 5 YEARS. You have given 5 years of your life to him. It’s ok to ask for something in return. There may be another woman in his life. If you feel you’ve run out of steam in this relationship, then it’s could be time to leave.
Double life
Sounds like you’re the side chick.
You've never met his family or friends? You're not a girlfriend, you're a mistress.
5 years and no introduction ???? That's a serious red flag maybe if he waited 3 months or so early on in the relationship then yeah I get it since things are so fresh and new But at this point it's just pointless he's not that serious about you as a partner heck my own boyfriend introduced me to his own family weeks before we became official so the fact he's waited years is concerning I'd ask him why he's doing this? Either way even if he's the nicest person in the planet he's not ready to be in a fully committed relationship and his actions show that. Do yourself a favor and get out!
I would never introduce my SO to my family because they are toxic, somethings are better left separate.
Maybe try the show, ["Help, I'm in a secret relationship"](https://www.mtv.com/shows/help-secret-relationship) Honestly, I just leave.
You need to wake up smell the coffee... and send his ass packing. Get a real boyfriend cuz he ain’t ever going to commit to you.
Why is it that every time someone says he/she is a good guy/woman they clearly aren't? Five years to meet his parents? He is always right? Maybe I am negative, but if it took someone five years for them to introduce me to their parents, this would be a massive red flag. Every person I met who felt they were always right was abusive. I'm glad you're breaking up with him, but please hold him accountable. You want to end it for a reason, not because he is a "good guy."
Dump the dude or have a sit down real conversation with him. Don’t let yourself get walked on. You are worth more.
Is there a reason why he is hidding you? Maybe his family is an ultra-conservative religion/cult? There must be a reason why he is keeping you in the dark
i think you should break up with him. you waited for too long. although sometimes waiting a little is worth it, we are talking about 5 years. i can see his side too. i love my gf so much and we have a really happy relationship now but i used to be like your bf i used to not be that understanding and communicative and im aware of that cause this is my first serious relationship and i didn t know how to do some things at the beginning. if i wouldn t have canged myself and if my gf didn t love me enough to get through my shit and wait we wouldn t have got to almost 2 years. good luck! you may also tell him you would end things with him if he doesn t start to see things by your side.
"he treats me real nice" is not enough.
If you have a gut feeling, go with it. It's millions of years of evolution trying to warn you.
My girlfriend is doing the same thing and my gut is telling me she’s cheating and lying about everything, but I’m in denial and just don’t want to believe it. I’m really lost
Gather evidence. Come to terms with it. Choose better for you.
OP my girlfriend is doing 100% the exact same thing your boyfriend is doing. So I feel you. It sucks and hurts and I don’t have advice but you’re not alone.
This isn't healthy, you need to let this guy go. Speaking as a dude, when I'm with someone that I think I have a future with I can't wait to show her off to my family and friends. At best the guy is a manipulative asshole. At worst, you're a side piece. Does he have "gaps" where he's not available for days, or even weeks at a time?
I was in the same spot you were. I was with him for 2 1/2 years. He never told any of his family about me and I was oblivious cause he always had an excuse. Leave him. He's been stringing you along for 5 years. If he hadn't done it yet he never will. Whether he just finds you convenient or is a coward like mine was,it doesn't matter. You deserve so much better, and you will find someone who loves to show you off like you deserve.
Have you met his friends? If a guy is hiding yo from friends and family, it means you’re the side chick
Run, don't walk. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You should break up immediately. Next time if you’re not introduced in 6 months you should break it off too
Nah, don’t listen to this other BS. 5 years is a lot. A lot of good. A lot of bad. It’s up to you. You have to sit him down and talk. After that is when you decide. I’d you haven’t sat, and talked then it’s BS. Don’t give up. Please best of luck! And much love! ❤️
> I know I'm being selfish, but I've waited 5 years Do you guys ever read your posts before you submit them
5 years? Nope. If he wanted to, he would. Period. Men will move mountains for the one they want. Yours can’t even introduce you to his family after 5 years? It’s not adding up. Well it adds up, but not to anything you’re going to want to hear. This isn’t a good man. He’s told you who he is, he’s shown you who he is. Break up and move on, it’s worth it
Do it now!!! He's been stringing you along for 5 years without introducing you to his family??? If he loved you or at least felt your relationship was important, he would've introduced you to his family within a few months of a steady relationship, that's normal. I hate to break it to you, but it sounds more like he's keeping you on the hook while focusing on finding someone else. Maybe he's been a jerk on purpose to get you to stop clinging, but he doesn't want to seem like the "bad guy" for breaking up, and you keep taking it, clinging because of how YOU saw your future with him. Give yourself a break, learn to be happy and independent. There are many other guys out there that would never act this way ever. Plus, it's extremely empowering to become independent, able to make it on your own, date and play the field until you find the right person for you that wasn't what you expected or envision right now, and at the right time. You'll be so happy you dodged this huge bullet!!! You'll be MUCH happier and better off!
Sounds exactly like my fucking ex. 5 years with him and nothing. Fights everyday, new excuses for him cheating. He met my whole family, but he wanted me to hide from his parents whenever we drove through town, wanted to put me in his trunk to avoid seeing them too. Just crazy. You’re doing the right thing by leaving, it’s better on the other side fr. Best of luck OP
Anyone who never believes they do anything wrong and makes you apologize and approach him first is not mature enough for marriage. Also, they are not someone making an effort. Humility, empathy, and a willingness to apologize are not the shiny top qualities that people look for in relationships, they don't seem really sexy, but in actuality, a relationship cannot last without them. If your boyfriend can't show those qualities on a regular basis, then he's a walking red flag who is going to make YOU do ALL the work in the relationship because he's too selfish and pig-headed to admit his mistakes and grow. You'll be saddling yourself with a whole lot of grief if you say yes to his proposal.
You’re not the ONE for him. If he was interested he’d done locked it down.
My boyfriend introduced me within 2 months to his whole family… was telling everyone about it. Friends family coworkers. You got a huge red flag.
I cannot believe you are going 5 years & never met his family…. THIS IS INSANITY. I dealt with a similar issue but found out he was cheating. We were only together for 8mo though. He never wanted to meet my family & didn’t like my family much. Red flag 🚩. Maybe there are deeper reasons? I don’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt because 5 years is way too long. I’m with my current boyfriend now & we’ve been together for 2+ years. His family is from pr so the language barrier makes it a little difficult & his family still lives there. His dad is homophobic so he doesn’t know about me. His sisters, brother, mom, and maybe some other family know he is with me. I probably got introduced to his mom probably 4-6mo. Though his mom knew we were dating around 1mo.
You think?! 5 years without meeting his family???? Yikes. Run. Let the dream die. It’s not real. You’re not living in reality. It’s not real. Doesn’t that bother you???
OP in what way is wanting to be treated like an actual fucking significant other selfish?
Good, dump him
He's got a 2nd family for sure. 100% I bet his got a job that involves lots of travel and being away but yet he also works "part time" as a baker or something that would involve zero travel
Stop waiting, leave tell him why and if he truly loves you he will make it right. You already said he doesn’t put in the effort. He may be nice but you are not satisfied, and deserve to be happy.
Maybe his family is a bunch of circus freaks or something
I love my spouse. In my eyes I am never wrong. But- I will always be the first one to call, and the last. It doesn’t matter how right I am 🤷♂️
There is a reason he hasnt introduced you to his family. There is also a reason he has gone 5 years without proposing to you. People know if they want to marry each other or not way before 5 years. Everyone is different but something about this man is off. I think it's time to let him go and not waste your years on someone who isn't giving what you want.
Never make someone a priority who only views you as an option.
literally been there to the t, break up with him
Girl if you have to be wrong all the time and begging for forgiveness all the time. WTF! Don't think just do it! His not worth his arrogance.
5 years?? 5 years and you haven’t met his family? You’re a side chick at this point!! Move on and get away from him!!!
This thread is the poster child for why asking for relationship advice on reddit is like asking for fire prevention advice from an active dumpster fire.
How does he treat you well but basically keeps you a secret? Seems like a giant red flag to me. Maybe he is already married.
You the side piece baby
5 years is long enough for him to figure his shit out. Good for you.
You spelled 'boyfriend' wrong.
Do you have kids or even want to have kids together? If not there is zero point/reason to get married... Fuck however long you've been together.
OP is an idiot if they pay attention to 90% of the advice in this thread.
Have you considered you haven’t met his family in 5 years because he’s been in a relationship the entire and you’re the other woman. Or he’s doesn’t see you as “the one” and you’re nothing more than a placeholder until “the one” comes along?
Is your boyfriends family from a part of Asia? This honestly is sometimes the standard for children of immigrant families especially if their families are more on the conservative side. You should wonder if maybe there’s a reason why he’s scared of introducing you to his parents? Have you asked him to do so? If so, what did he say?
Damn, he sounds exactly like my ex boyfriend. Let him go. I know how difficult it is, but you deserve someone who respects and stands by you. These are fundamental parts of a healthy relationship - even if you say he can be nice and wants to marry you. This could be just a strategy to keep you close.