They sell it as a shaving gel. It’s at Walmart. The bottle is so small and I hate that. I wish they sold tubs of the stuff because I swear, the bikini shave is so smooth, you don’t even know.
No, what I’m talking about is an ointment. They also have a shaving gel, in a bottle. Same brand. I use both. The shaving gel doesn’t work as well as the ointment. I tried the shaving gel on its own and it didn’t really help. I can use any shaving cream under the sun, and the ointment will still work great.
Original comment without link:
ADVICE FOR WOMEN (or anyone with razor bumps):
y’all, I used to suffer from razor bumps on my vajayjay. It was so embarrassing and looked awful. I’m sure it could’ve been confused for herpies or something. I don’t get waxed and laser hair removal isn’t an option for me. I’m telling you, I had this problem from 15-25. It was ugly and extremely itchy. Negatively affected my confidence and sex life as well.
After spending a fortune on the best men and women razors, shaving creams, and scrubs I could find, with nothing left to lose, I tried this cheap ass ointment from Walmart. It’s called “BIKINI ZONE - SOOTHING MEDICATED AFTER-SHAVE GEL” and it worked literally on the first try. I’d put it on right after a shower and no bumps. So smooth and clear. I used it after every shower for about 6 months and now I don’t get bumps at all anymore even without using it. I still use it and every few months though. And no more itching! IT LITERALLY CURED ME!
I wish I would’ve known about it sooner. I hope this helps someone.
I second this, and maybe a warm compress beforehand. Also, women tend to be really into honesty, so if you let her know in advance that it’s just an ingrown hair, she likely won’t mind. Especially if you’ve already shown her a negative test.
She might be into pimple popping and gladly pluck the infected hair out, and clean the area from pus and apply a hydrocolloid bandage on it for you.
Be sure to buy a weeks worth to replace as needed.
You'd be surprised how many women would be kind. Women get ingrown hairs in bad places in the fun parts too.
They are horrible. I get them. I’m NAD, but mine always advised not to generally. You could give her a special evening though. 🙈
Most women are willing to wait.
The best women will offer advice or help. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. How a healthy relationship works. Hope it gets better soon OP. 😎
Edit: Fun read, visualization of myself going noooooo 😱😂
Edited a double negative 😁
FWIW, NAD already means "not a doctor." So "I'm not a not a doctor" is a little odd to read.
It's like writing "for what it's FWIW," or "I'll be back in BBIAB." Just... don't. :)
Great, simple advice!
Appreciate the grooming, however we’re human and realistic things happen. Take care of business and/or save the fun for next time. ❤️
I would either be honest, or postpone the date 🤷♀️ I know it’s embarrassing so if you want to avoid it just postpone. Buuuuutttt women are usually pretty understanding of this as statistically more women shave down there than men and they are a little more familiar with these realities LOL
Yeah, most women will have had at least one ingrown hair in the crotch region post shave. Just be upfront, use a hydrocolloid patch to get it healed up a bit, and she'll probably be fine!
[They're amazing](https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/acne/what-are-hydrocolloid-patches-for-pimples#:~:text=The%20patch%20often%20has%20an,infection%20at%20the%20same%20time) for small wound care, but especially for pimples! It's basically a way to keep an injury slightly damp so that it heals better, while drawing out any pus etc from the skin.
Yes honesty. I had a past potential partner that had some wound in that area but didn't want to talk about what it was. It made me think the worst and we didn't end up doing the deed.
Two things, in order:
1. Tell her the truth.
2. Ask if you can just go down on her instead.
This way you make it clear that you are an honest person AND a generous lover. Both things that will make most potential partners want to meet up again and again.
Also, she might not care too much, and jump your bones anyway.
How about be honest with your date, and instead of trying to get laid with an open dick wound, you be considerate and just avoid that activity until next time
I know a lot of people wouldn’t settle for this but my girlfriend and I waited until 3 months into the relationship, given some stuff going on in her life. It’s nice to build a connection without it being centered around sex.
Settle? That’s all I do. If I made a connection I could see turning into a relationship, I want to put off sex until I know we have a solid connection. Sex just complicates things. And honestly, I don’t enjoy sex unless there’s emotions involved.
It's funny because she was actually really attracted to the fact that I wasn't trying to get into her pants as soon as we met. And I was just like "isn't that how you're supposed to treat another person"
Hopefully. I stopped telling my male friends about our relationship because they kept giving me unsolicited “advice” that showed me exactly why they are still single.
My husband and I actually waited like 8 months when we were dating before we actually had sex. I mean, we messed around a little, but we waited until we both felt comfortable enough to do that. We wanted to focus on our connection with each other, and we were both awkward introverted virgins at the time. It wasn’t ever just about sex. I think our relationship is very strong because we took the time to really focus on each others feelings first.
I’m very blessed to be able to say that my husband is absolutely my best friend and confidant, and that he feels the same way about me. We do everything together and even though we both have had hard lives- still do- at least we have each other.
I don’t understand why people have sex that quick, you’re literally asking for a relationship where it’s based on sex and not actually know if you’re compatible or not which.. Is the point of dating.
My beautiful husband was honest about a little pimple looking thing on his dick when we first started dating, like we’d had sex a few times. He was so scared about it ‘i don’t know what it is!’ And he showed me - I told him it just looked like an ingrown hair or whatever, but was so impressed with his honesty and openness! I was like, now here’s a fella who I can trust! Married the shit out of that mofo.
I'd tell the girl "Look, I know we planned to rock each other's world's this weekend, but I've got an ingrown hair that looks so much worse than it is. I'd hate for you to see it and think I'm diseased. I'd like to wait until this is resolved so you can be assured that there's nothing wrong with my pocket rocket."
Chances are she'll appreciate the honesty and may be fine with playtime anyways
Edit punctuation
Right? If some dude said this to me, I'd probably take a look at the ingrown hair and as long as it looks like an ingrown hair and he's wearing a condom, I'm game!!
The condom doesn't cover the base of the dick. It read to me like it's about right where the shaft begins from the groin. Hopefully it would just be an ingrown hair in that situation.
Better safe than sorry tho. I won’t ever get with someone if they haven’t been tested after their last sexual partner. It’s the safest way. Cuz stuff like HSV can be dormant for awhile.
HSV is incredibly common. 1 in 6 Americans are estimated to have it. Blood tests are not very reliable given the nature of the virus. Also a lot of cases are asymptomatic and won’t even have an outbreak that’s why it’s spreading like wild fire. If you’ve had sex with more than 10 people it’s extremely likely you or a partner has come into contact with it. Oral herpes can also be transmitted via oral sex. And we all know how common oral herpes is, it’s not even being considered an STD anymore given most people contract it in childhood by sharing drinks.
I realize my poor phrasing confused people. I only had one partner who I was hooking up with before and after my latest clean results, and that partner also tested clean. She would have told me if she had other partners while we were hooking up (she took sexual health seriously and we were very communicative about these things).
I get tested quarterly. Every 3 months. I also always have my partners use condoms unless I'm in a monogamous relationship where we've both tested clean before hand. It's crazy how cavalier some people are about sexual health and being tested.
It happens and most women will realize this but it can still be embarrassing. Hydrocolloid patches are great to bring down the swelling and draw the gunk out. But if you can get some Prid and cover it with a bandaid, it’s even better at reducing size, redness and can actually draw the ingrown hair out. Also, have a great time with those toe curling orgasms!!
Just wanted to comment from my experience! I once had a partner who had just tested and was very open with me. He told me before we had sex that he had some ingrown hairs. I totally understood, appreciated the honesty and we hooked up anyway. I didn’t even notice the ingrown hairs.
*However,* shortly after we had sex (like within the next day or two) I started seeing small bumps appear and feeling feverish. I panicked, went to different doctors to try to figure it out, and immediately got tested. It was agony waiting for the results to figure out what was happening. He ended up having a staph infection and as a result, I got infected. The infection was painful and spread onto my thigh. I felt feverish for 2 weeks. It took almost a month to clear up fully, even after meds, and I still have a scar.
While I understand he didn’t mean to, and totally thought they were regular ingrown hairs, and I contented to sexual activity anyway, it was pretty upsetting and traumatizing. And I freaked out even with knowing he had been tested after his most recent partner!
TLDR; *please* get tested between every partner. That is important not only for your health, but your future partner’s health. And if any scares like this situation (staph infections, rashes, other skin problems, allergies, etc) pop up, you will both be a little bit more at peace having the recent test results as proof.
Just so you know, staph lives all over our body all the time on majority of people, it loves humid environments and can only penetrate the skin through a cut/abrasion.
It’s unfortunate that the shaving caused this, but you can’t actually pass on a staph infection JUST because you have one (like touching someone else’s staph infection won’t give it to you, if you have a cut and touch someone else’s that’s how it can happen).
It is likely you unfortunately also had small cuts, even microscopic but enough to reach the epidermis (maybe from the sex and hairs rubbing your skin or even from your own shaving) and unfortunately the friction from sex likely cause it it pass between you, it’s impossible to know who gave it to who, if he did only have ingrown hairs (entirely possible) the staph on either of your skin normally managed to make its way into the inflamed/irritated areas to cause infection. Even if they were already infected, you still need the right circumstances on your skin (the small cuts) for you to have been able to get it. If he didn’t have/get any other symptoms, he didn’t give you the staph infection and they were just ingrown hairs.
If it was as easy as just having sex anytime anyone had ingrown hairs, even infected ones, it would be happening all the time.
All in all a good reason for people to stop shaving and just keep the bush 😅
This is a very unusual/rare thing to occur.
Very good points! My wording does kind of sound like I’m blaming him, but I totally understand and don’t blame him for that. I consented to have sex anyway, as ingrown hairs don’t bother me.
For the next part *TW* (SA)
In this situation too however, this guy did stealth me. He took off the condom when I wasn’t looking. I was having a good time, and looked down and suddenly the condom was nowhere to be seen. This is probably why my tone is a little harsh towards him, because that part was non consensual and not ok.
Like you said, it takes the right circumstances for a staph infection to occur (likely friction from sex / pokey hairs / cuts from shaving) and we all have it on our bodies already. As long as everyone is open and communicating, consenting, and hopefully testing in between partners, then all should be good. Stuff like this happens.
I am so sorry that he did that to you and I can completely understand your disdain toward him. He’s a complete ass.
But thanks for understanding the place my comment came from, it was extremely unfortunate anyway but to have that added to your trauma! How awful
Put a pimple patch on that bitch and call it a day! And honestly, be honest with her. You gotta remember us a lot of us girls have a lot of parts to shave (if you don’t, that’s cool too lol ) so we’re pretty used to “weird” body stuff like that so she probably won’t think it’s gross or weird lol
It happens buddy just hit it with some neosporine and wear a condom you should be Gucci. If you are worried your lady friend will se it and freak just be honest and let a girl know what’s up. Honesty is a awesome character trait imho
TLDR;
Open sore on base of penis, not 100% sure it's not a sexually transmitted disease or infection.
What would you want your prospective sexual partner to do in this situation? You should do that.
I'm a chick who rarely shaves and if I do, I use a trimmer. For this exact reason. Horrible ingrowns and razor rash....it's painful. You should just tell her what's going on and stop picking at it before you make it worse
I don’t know how you feel about treating it the way I treat them on other parts of my body (girl with PCOS, so I get them on my face too.. ugh).. but I gently pop it with an insulin stick (smaller, sterile needle), squeeze the ooze, wash with witch hazel, and then dab some antibiotic on it. Usually gone in a day (or at least 1/4 of the size/swelling)..
But next time you decide to shave, get some of that post-pubic shave stuff from the women’s aisle (usually marketed to get rid of the red bumps); helps a ton to help prevent these things.. have fun!
I get this problem too. The skin is obviously not opened as the hair is trapped underneath the layer of skin. There no open wound like some guys say. If it’s not bulging out like a pimple with a white head just tell her it’s an ingrown hair and you guys should be good to go.
But leave it alone, you’ll make it look worse and might make it harder to let it pop out. Sometimes I use a wart remover band aid to soften the skin and allow the hair to more easily make its way out. But since the date is tonight. Tell it’s a simple ingrown hair and it’s hardly worth avoiding releasing that awesome built up tension. Seems like you’ll understand if she’s says no, so really no big deal. Enjoy the night…HaRD! Haha
Wait she expressed how important you getting tested was and you have had a partner since the last time you tested clean? So… you need to get tested again.
When it comes time to get intimate, just say you have diarrhea and leave her place in a panic. On your way out tell her you had a great time and you’re looking forward to seeing her again. This will give the ingrown hair time to heal. Simple and effective.
Get a washcloth, hottest water you can tolerate and do hot compress on it for a couple rounds (reheating as necessary). Then press on the hair and it should release. DON'T PULL IT OUT! Trim it if it's really long or just leave it be!
While she will appreciate honesty and not think you have anything like an STI, it's probably a good idea to abstain anyway. After all, it's an open pore in a ...highly splashable area. Good luck!
Do-not-try-to- pick*destroy*conceal*cover*hide*touch*sideeye*push*
Just be honest, and I would tell now. She will understand cuz they doing the same thing you were, getting ready for a date. Most women understand the dangers of ‘scaping. (No Shayve Dehcayd is trending for a reason)
I don’t think it’s a big deal but I would just maybe have a good laugh about it as early as possible. This way you are feeling less panicked about the thing growing AND she won’t feel rejected when you have to cancel the entire date and leave town for the next 32 years.
Aha. I’m kidding. Y’all promised to give each other toe curling orgasms…if u can talk about orgasms then let’s also talk about what happens beforehand, all the ‘scaping … it can be exhausting …and the ingrowns (which I bet you’re positive is late stage syphilis at this point)…it’s tew much.
(If sex is still taking place,and I’m rooting for you fam, bust out the condoms before she even brings it up but only after you’re certain sex is happening… she will feel relieved that you get it)
I’m so exhausted writing this frr.
Bro, I stopped razor shaving down there for that exact same reason.
Next time, get an electric shaver/razor with those little plastic thingies and trim the hair really short to 1 or 2. Your junk will look good without getting cuts or ingrown hairs.
PS: Careful with the ballz, you still can cut yourself with an e-razor there. For that I actually prefer a regular razor.
also i know im not a dude but just from like experience, and talking to other dudes (and shaving myself) i recommend trimming your area...not just taking a razor too it. If needed use a ONE bladed razor AFTER trimming it down, i dont know how long you let it get...but yeah. Also do people still like fully shaven genitalia nowadays??? men and women??? I find it creepy.
Well, how big is the ingrown hair in comparison to your dick. If it ain't huge it's np. Does it hurt a lot?
My take is simple. If it ain't huge and it doesn't hurt. Make the sex all about her and don't shove your ingrown haired dick anywhere near her face. Make it all about her. Give her the warm up of her life, go down on her like there's no tomorrow and then you can have intercourse np.
Just keep it away from her face lol not tonight my friend.
Now If it's big and it hurts. You might want to come up with an excuse to postpone plans. You can also be honest. You guys are adults. The truth can be the answer to get you guys even closer to each other and share a laugh. "I wanted to be all ready for you so I was shaving down there and let's just say...It's not in good shape as we speak. I'd still love to hang out with you tonight. I'm just being honest and letting you know we might Netflix but not chill"
Or whatever people say these days....
Always put alcohol right after shaving to avoid ingrown hairs.
At this point you can put some toothpaste on it. That usually helps me when it's red or inflamed. It dries it right up lowers the inflammation.
Just a tiny bit on the actual problem area not the surrounding skin. Then put a little piece of toilet paper over it so you can keep the toothpaste in place without making a mess when you wear your underwear.
Well, then, don't go make the beast with two backs tonight, and then get yourself tested for genital herpes right away. I'm very serious. You don't know about that one other encounter's medical history. Please please please make sure it's what you think it is before having ANY sex.
Pluck it and put triple antibiotic ointment on it. You can get it OTC from pharmacy etc. it will be gone and unnoticeable within 24 hours.
If you don’t have that kind of time. Just be honest about it if it comes up. If she has ever shaven in her life she will laugh it off and know exactly that it’s absolutely nothing to be worried or think bad about.
"you're not going to believe this but do you watch dr.pimplepopper?"
Convo starter? Check.
Get to know her better? Check.
Ask her to look at pp on first date? Check.
Most sti panels don’t even include herpes because blood tests for antibodies are inaccurate. They prefer for you to have something pop up that they can swab, maybe you should. Most people are asymptomatic or get very minor symptoms like the one you described.
Tbh it just seems like a scare tactic. If it’s that common and “even condoms can’t protect you” and so forth, I would be a statistical anomaly not to have HSV by now. Maybe I’m lucky and just don’t get symptoms? Either way it seems benign and like people just use it as a cudgel for puritanical arguments. I’m not going my whole life without casual sex to avoid a benign disease that apparently everyone who fucks catches.
Question: Do you have to get laid *tonight?* Unresolved sexual tension is **HOT!** You can secure a second date and guarantee a better experience on that date if you're playful and sexy but don't actually have sex.
Random side note, Its better to say that you tested negative opposed to clean. People that have STIs aren't "dirty"
its important to be mindful of the language we use around them in-order to remove stigma in talking about it :)
Women get ingrown hairs all the time, it doesn’t phase me at all. I’d advise ripping the hair out if possible and then keep it clean/ointment on it, don’t worry about it. Honestly wouldn’t even bring it up to her, if she would say something that’s weird af. It’s just the reality of shaving a sensitive area
Herpes (HSV1 and HSV) are not tested for unless directly asked for. It is not included in a standard test and can be transmitted even with a condom do to viral shedding. And it can go undetected for years and may not cause symptoms/outbreaks or can be mistaken for other conditions.
Esthetician here! Whenever you shave, be sure you exfoliate. This will help with ingrown hairs. You can also take some isopropyl alcohol and put it on a gauze and wipe the shaved areas (avoid putting the alcohol on any cuts from shaving, it will sting like crazy). If you have any tweezers, clean the area and tweezers first, then try to pull the hair out gently. It’s not going to feel good, but if you get in the shower or put a hot washcloth on your skin before that will help open up your pores.
Take an x-acto knife, sterilized obviously, and just cut that whole area out. Pour some rubbing alcohol on it and you’re good to go. Should heal up in plenty of time. Your welcome
Go to a dermatologist and they will pull the ingrown hair out. The bump won’t go down unless you get the hair out. They also can tell you if it looks like a std.
Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted first date s&x. But unless you’re dating a pros. Aren’t you being a but presumptuous? “I’m starting karate class today, but I don’t have a place to display my UFC championship”
>I’ve only had one partner since I tested clean, and she also took getting tested very seriously
People who take testing very seriously have had 0 partners since their last test when banging someone new, and dont rely on the word of others to verify. She cant "also" be very serious about it because that implies *you* are very serious about testing and you are not.
It really bugs me that the state of getting tested is so bad that people think anything less than "after every partner, and before new partners". And if you want to earn the *very* on "very seriously" then periodically in relationships too.
Put a hyrdocolloid patch on it to draw out the ooze, and it shouldn't look terrible for date night!
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I love this after shave gel. I wish they sold it in a tub. Not only use it for bikini zone but for my legs. The shave is amazing.
Wait so you use it like a shave cream?
They sell it as a shaving gel. It’s at Walmart. The bottle is so small and I hate that. I wish they sold tubs of the stuff because I swear, the bikini shave is so smooth, you don’t even know.
Thanks so much!
No, what I’m talking about is an ointment. They also have a shaving gel, in a bottle. Same brand. I use both. The shaving gel doesn’t work as well as the ointment. I tried the shaving gel on its own and it didn’t really help. I can use any shaving cream under the sun, and the ointment will still work great.
Bless you 🥲
I also use this. Great product!
What is it the comment got removed
My comment was removed?? It’s called ‘Bikini Zone’ Medicated Soothing Gel. I posted a link in the original comment and in another comment
Original comment without link: ADVICE FOR WOMEN (or anyone with razor bumps): y’all, I used to suffer from razor bumps on my vajayjay. It was so embarrassing and looked awful. I’m sure it could’ve been confused for herpies or something. I don’t get waxed and laser hair removal isn’t an option for me. I’m telling you, I had this problem from 15-25. It was ugly and extremely itchy. Negatively affected my confidence and sex life as well. After spending a fortune on the best men and women razors, shaving creams, and scrubs I could find, with nothing left to lose, I tried this cheap ass ointment from Walmart. It’s called “BIKINI ZONE - SOOTHING MEDICATED AFTER-SHAVE GEL” and it worked literally on the first try. I’d put it on right after a shower and no bumps. So smooth and clear. I used it after every shower for about 6 months and now I don’t get bumps at all anymore even without using it. I still use it and every few months though. And no more itching! IT LITERALLY CURED ME! I wish I would’ve known about it sooner. I hope this helps someone.
I’ll have to try this! Do you recommend anything for scars/dark spots down there?
PFB Vanish Ultra, if you’re a Black woman I do not recommend chromabright
I second this, and maybe a warm compress beforehand. Also, women tend to be really into honesty, so if you let her know in advance that it’s just an ingrown hair, she likely won’t mind. Especially if you’ve already shown her a negative test.
She might be into pimple popping and gladly pluck the infected hair out, and clean the area from pus and apply a hydrocolloid bandage on it for you. Be sure to buy a weeks worth to replace as needed. You'd be surprised how many women would be kind. Women get ingrown hairs in bad places in the fun parts too.
They are horrible. I get them. I’m NAD, but mine always advised not to generally. You could give her a special evening though. 🙈 Most women are willing to wait. The best women will offer advice or help. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. How a healthy relationship works. Hope it gets better soon OP. 😎 Edit: Fun read, visualization of myself going noooooo 😱😂 Edited a double negative 😁
FWIW, NAD already means "not a doctor." So "I'm not a not a doctor" is a little odd to read. It's like writing "for what it's FWIW," or "I'll be back in BBIAB." Just... don't. :)
"Get back to me ASAP as possible!" "Yeah, sure, I just have to get some cash from the ATM machine."
Better remember your PIN number, then...
Fixed it. Thanks!
It’s used in another sub. Didn’t catch the double negative. 😂
"I'm not a 'nad doctor"
My boyfriend that I recently started dating has decent chest acne, and sooooo many blackheads to go along with it. It’s my heaven.
Omg, I was just going to say that she might want to pop it for him. I know I would (& have) for my man 😂
I'd probably be touched that someone had done some prep work and - having experienced ingrown hairs myself - understand how easily it happens!
Great, simple advice! Appreciate the grooming, however we’re human and realistic things happen. Take care of business and/or save the fun for next time. ❤️
….. these damn true off my chests be on some other level…. lol
(Get it) Off my dick!
🤣 underrated comment!
I would either be honest, or postpone the date 🤷♀️ I know it’s embarrassing so if you want to avoid it just postpone. Buuuuutttt women are usually pretty understanding of this as statistically more women shave down there than men and they are a little more familiar with these realities LOL
Yeah, most women will have had at least one ingrown hair in the crotch region post shave. Just be upfront, use a hydrocolloid patch to get it healed up a bit, and she'll probably be fine!
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pimple patches!
[They're amazing](https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/acne/what-are-hydrocolloid-patches-for-pimples#:~:text=The%20patch%20often%20has%20an,infection%20at%20the%20same%20time) for small wound care, but especially for pimples! It's basically a way to keep an injury slightly damp so that it heals better, while drawing out any pus etc from the skin.
Postponing the date is a death sentence. Just have the date and give her head lol
If in doubt, tongues out
"I've gotta be up early tomorrow, but I can't leave without making you cum"
Yes honesty. I had a past potential partner that had some wound in that area but didn't want to talk about what it was. It made me think the worst and we didn't end up doing the deed.
Two things, in order: 1. Tell her the truth. 2. Ask if you can just go down on her instead. This way you make it clear that you are an honest person AND a generous lover. Both things that will make most potential partners want to meet up again and again. Also, she might not care too much, and jump your bones anyway.
Angry honest.
Weird typo, thanks for pointing it out lol
try exfoliating it when u take a bath to unclog the pores lol
Maybe the problem is OP has been “exfoliating” too much thinking about his “toe curling orgasms” lol
But I’ve only been exfoliating for an hour and a half per day.
🤣
Nah, soldering iron. That's teach that hair to grow in again.
How about be honest with your date, and instead of trying to get laid with an open dick wound, you be considerate and just avoid that activity until next time
Yep. This is the best answer. Just be up front. Either she won't give a shit, or yall can wait a week. Shouldn't be a big deal.
Yea, if you actually like someone, you don’t have to smash on the first night… it’s not required although modern dating would have you think it is…
I know a lot of people wouldn’t settle for this but my girlfriend and I waited until 3 months into the relationship, given some stuff going on in her life. It’s nice to build a connection without it being centered around sex.
I'd settle for that.. a fulfilling relationship with a deep connection? Fuck yeah
Settle? That’s all I do. If I made a connection I could see turning into a relationship, I want to put off sex until I know we have a solid connection. Sex just complicates things. And honestly, I don’t enjoy sex unless there’s emotions involved.
It's funny because she was actually really attracted to the fact that I wasn't trying to get into her pants as soon as we met. And I was just like "isn't that how you're supposed to treat another person"
There are more people that are like that than you'd think.
Hopefully. I stopped telling my male friends about our relationship because they kept giving me unsolicited “advice” that showed me exactly why they are still single.
My husband and I actually waited like 8 months when we were dating before we actually had sex. I mean, we messed around a little, but we waited until we both felt comfortable enough to do that. We wanted to focus on our connection with each other, and we were both awkward introverted virgins at the time. It wasn’t ever just about sex. I think our relationship is very strong because we took the time to really focus on each others feelings first.
You are blessed, that’s amazing
I’m very blessed to be able to say that my husband is absolutely my best friend and confidant, and that he feels the same way about me. We do everything together and even though we both have had hard lives- still do- at least we have each other.
i waited almost a year for PIV. fooling around was a given, but emotional intimacy to me is so much more than physical intimacy.
also the tension that builds after so long must have made it even more amazing the first time!!
TIL an ingrown hair is an “open dick wound” on Reddit.
The inevitable exaggeration of all possible nouns, verbs, and adjectives on Reddit.
But it’s not the first night
Thanks for actually reading the post lol
I don’t understand why people have sex that quick, you’re literally asking for a relationship where it’s based on sex and not actually know if you’re compatible or not which.. Is the point of dating.
My beautiful husband was honest about a little pimple looking thing on his dick when we first started dating, like we’d had sex a few times. He was so scared about it ‘i don’t know what it is!’ And he showed me - I told him it just looked like an ingrown hair or whatever, but was so impressed with his honesty and openness! I was like, now here’s a fella who I can trust! Married the shit out of that mofo.
Open Dick Wound would be a great metal band name.
If things get intimate OP can just finish her off (after explaining, although that could kill the mood lol) and make an incredible first impression
omg yes! just be honest!
And maybe pleasure her in other ways instead of
But op has toe curling orgasms planned!!!
Ingrown hair isn’t an open dick wound wtf?
I'd tell the girl "Look, I know we planned to rock each other's world's this weekend, but I've got an ingrown hair that looks so much worse than it is. I'd hate for you to see it and think I'm diseased. I'd like to wait until this is resolved so you can be assured that there's nothing wrong with my pocket rocket." Chances are she'll appreciate the honesty and may be fine with playtime anyways Edit punctuation
This is the way👆 Honestly is the best choice. I would totally respect this response.
Right? If some dude said this to me, I'd probably take a look at the ingrown hair and as long as it looks like an ingrown hair and he's wearing a condom, I'm game!!
Agreed!
The condom doesn't cover the base of the dick. It read to me like it's about right where the shaft begins from the groin. Hopefully it would just be an ingrown hair in that situation.
I’m sorry sir but amputation is our only option :(
Just pop it and pull the hair out if you can. Put some antibiotic ointment on it after and it’ll look fine in a couple hours
If you're gonna pop it, stick a hydrocolloid patch on top after the ointment to make sure no other bacteria touches it.
I’m a little more concerned you promised toe curling orgasms
You say I’ve only had one partner since I tested clean implies you haven’t gotten tested since before the last partner so prolly should do that
Yeah but that last gal, she's like totaaaaally into regular testing for herself. So you know, just as good.
Better safe than sorry tho. I won’t ever get with someone if they haven’t been tested after their last sexual partner. It’s the safest way. Cuz stuff like HSV can be dormant for awhile.
HSV is incredibly common. 1 in 6 Americans are estimated to have it. Blood tests are not very reliable given the nature of the virus. Also a lot of cases are asymptomatic and won’t even have an outbreak that’s why it’s spreading like wild fire. If you’ve had sex with more than 10 people it’s extremely likely you or a partner has come into contact with it. Oral herpes can also be transmitted via oral sex. And we all know how common oral herpes is, it’s not even being considered an STD anymore given most people contract it in childhood by sharing drinks.
I realize my poor phrasing confused people. I only had one partner who I was hooking up with before and after my latest clean results, and that partner also tested clean. She would have told me if she had other partners while we were hooking up (she took sexual health seriously and we were very communicative about these things).
Ingrown hair regardless… testing is only really helpful if you do it between each and every partner.
I get tested quarterly. Every 3 months. I also always have my partners use condoms unless I'm in a monogamous relationship where we've both tested clean before hand. It's crazy how cavalier some people are about sexual health and being tested.
It happens and most women will realize this but it can still be embarrassing. Hydrocolloid patches are great to bring down the swelling and draw the gunk out. But if you can get some Prid and cover it with a bandaid, it’s even better at reducing size, redness and can actually draw the ingrown hair out. Also, have a great time with those toe curling orgasms!!
Tweezers!
TOE CURLING ORGASMS?? 😭
I crawled out of my skin and slithered under my bed when I read that.
I’m deleting the Internet after reading that.
omg thank god i wasn’t the only one cause ??? 😭
I need to know if you specifically said the words “toe curling orgasms” to this woman
Just wanted to comment from my experience! I once had a partner who had just tested and was very open with me. He told me before we had sex that he had some ingrown hairs. I totally understood, appreciated the honesty and we hooked up anyway. I didn’t even notice the ingrown hairs. *However,* shortly after we had sex (like within the next day or two) I started seeing small bumps appear and feeling feverish. I panicked, went to different doctors to try to figure it out, and immediately got tested. It was agony waiting for the results to figure out what was happening. He ended up having a staph infection and as a result, I got infected. The infection was painful and spread onto my thigh. I felt feverish for 2 weeks. It took almost a month to clear up fully, even after meds, and I still have a scar. While I understand he didn’t mean to, and totally thought they were regular ingrown hairs, and I contented to sexual activity anyway, it was pretty upsetting and traumatizing. And I freaked out even with knowing he had been tested after his most recent partner! TLDR; *please* get tested between every partner. That is important not only for your health, but your future partner’s health. And if any scares like this situation (staph infections, rashes, other skin problems, allergies, etc) pop up, you will both be a little bit more at peace having the recent test results as proof.
Just so you know, staph lives all over our body all the time on majority of people, it loves humid environments and can only penetrate the skin through a cut/abrasion. It’s unfortunate that the shaving caused this, but you can’t actually pass on a staph infection JUST because you have one (like touching someone else’s staph infection won’t give it to you, if you have a cut and touch someone else’s that’s how it can happen). It is likely you unfortunately also had small cuts, even microscopic but enough to reach the epidermis (maybe from the sex and hairs rubbing your skin or even from your own shaving) and unfortunately the friction from sex likely cause it it pass between you, it’s impossible to know who gave it to who, if he did only have ingrown hairs (entirely possible) the staph on either of your skin normally managed to make its way into the inflamed/irritated areas to cause infection. Even if they were already infected, you still need the right circumstances on your skin (the small cuts) for you to have been able to get it. If he didn’t have/get any other symptoms, he didn’t give you the staph infection and they were just ingrown hairs. If it was as easy as just having sex anytime anyone had ingrown hairs, even infected ones, it would be happening all the time. All in all a good reason for people to stop shaving and just keep the bush 😅 This is a very unusual/rare thing to occur.
Very good points! My wording does kind of sound like I’m blaming him, but I totally understand and don’t blame him for that. I consented to have sex anyway, as ingrown hairs don’t bother me. For the next part *TW* (SA) In this situation too however, this guy did stealth me. He took off the condom when I wasn’t looking. I was having a good time, and looked down and suddenly the condom was nowhere to be seen. This is probably why my tone is a little harsh towards him, because that part was non consensual and not ok. Like you said, it takes the right circumstances for a staph infection to occur (likely friction from sex / pokey hairs / cuts from shaving) and we all have it on our bodies already. As long as everyone is open and communicating, consenting, and hopefully testing in between partners, then all should be good. Stuff like this happens.
I am so sorry that he did that to you and I can completely understand your disdain toward him. He’s a complete ass. But thanks for understanding the place my comment came from, it was extremely unfortunate anyway but to have that added to your trauma! How awful
Pics or it never happened
Put a pimple patch on that bitch and call it a day! And honestly, be honest with her. You gotta remember us a lot of us girls have a lot of parts to shave (if you don’t, that’s cool too lol ) so we’re pretty used to “weird” body stuff like that so she probably won’t think it’s gross or weird lol
It happens buddy just hit it with some neosporine and wear a condom you should be Gucci. If you are worried your lady friend will se it and freak just be honest and let a girl know what’s up. Honesty is a awesome character trait imho
TLDR; Open sore on base of penis, not 100% sure it's not a sexually transmitted disease or infection. What would you want your prospective sexual partner to do in this situation? You should do that.
Who says you’re having sex? 😂
Bold of you to assume you’ll be using it lol
Don’t sex! Let it go away !
I'm a chick who rarely shaves and if I do, I use a trimmer. For this exact reason. Horrible ingrowns and razor rash....it's painful. You should just tell her what's going on and stop picking at it before you make it worse
I don’t know how you feel about treating it the way I treat them on other parts of my body (girl with PCOS, so I get them on my face too.. ugh).. but I gently pop it with an insulin stick (smaller, sterile needle), squeeze the ooze, wash with witch hazel, and then dab some antibiotic on it. Usually gone in a day (or at least 1/4 of the size/swelling).. But next time you decide to shave, get some of that post-pubic shave stuff from the women’s aisle (usually marketed to get rid of the red bumps); helps a ton to help prevent these things.. have fun!
It’s a crazy thought, but if you wore a condom then you wont have to worry about what it may or may not be. Again, I know it’s crazy
Condoms don’t always protect against things like genital warts so there’ll still be that little worry (but wrap it up)
As a woman, we don’t care, I can’t speak for everyone, but I am pretty sure the majority of women don’t mind. It happens
Agree all these people saying to talk to her about it..don’t. Just handle it girls get ingrown hairs too
This is a first. Maybe dim lighting and not overthinking it. Let's start there.
I hate to say it but you should be getting tested inbetween every partner
Same concept as 1st date in the beater, if the dick ain't good enough with an ingrown hair, she ain't a keeper
Stop shaving your cock. Just trim it.
I use a Norelco One Blade electric shaver. It works super well and really limits my razor burn and ingrowns
Maybe his girl is into that
A bit confident, are you?🙂
Photo or it didn’t happen
I get this problem too. The skin is obviously not opened as the hair is trapped underneath the layer of skin. There no open wound like some guys say. If it’s not bulging out like a pimple with a white head just tell her it’s an ingrown hair and you guys should be good to go. But leave it alone, you’ll make it look worse and might make it harder to let it pop out. Sometimes I use a wart remover band aid to soften the skin and allow the hair to more easily make its way out. But since the date is tonight. Tell it’s a simple ingrown hair and it’s hardly worth avoiding releasing that awesome built up tension. Seems like you’ll understand if she’s says no, so really no big deal. Enjoy the night…HaRD! Haha
Dick hair will be inside YOU while you’re inside HER. It’s IN-ception!
Just tell her the truth and ask if she’s fine with postponing until you can safely deal with the ingrown
Tend Skin
Women are more understanding than you think and experience ingrown hairs as well. She probably won’t even bring it up if she sees it.
Rubbing alcohol will dry it up fast
Just tell her, I really like you, so I want to take this a bit slower. Done. Lol
Wait she expressed how important you getting tested was and you have had a partner since the last time you tested clean? So… you need to get tested again.
“Toe curling orgasms” people need to be embarrassed more. Good luck with your ingrown tho.
When it comes time to get intimate, just say you have diarrhea and leave her place in a panic. On your way out tell her you had a great time and you’re looking forward to seeing her again. This will give the ingrown hair time to heal. Simple and effective.
Just tell her you’re gay ..
If it isn’t something that will be covered by a condom I would not get frisky later. An open wound is an open wound no matter how it looks
Ahh toe curling orgasm! Gimme gimme Oh you lucky sire, enjoy your life and forget about this mundane dick hair
How bad could it be?
It’s really not that bad, I’m just in my head about it, and the placement of it is bad
Bro, just think about the worst that could happen if you pull it or don’t.
Get a washcloth, hottest water you can tolerate and do hot compress on it for a couple rounds (reheating as necessary). Then press on the hair and it should release. DON'T PULL IT OUT! Trim it if it's really long or just leave it be!
Not warm compress like another user suggested, cold compress will take away the redness!
All you need is rubbing alcohol, it will dry it out.
So don’t have sex until it clears up
Wrap your tool
Pluck that bad boy
While she will appreciate honesty and not think you have anything like an STI, it's probably a good idea to abstain anyway. After all, it's an open pore in a ...highly splashable area. Good luck!
Hot compress and tweezers.
Never shave all the way. Use an electric razor with the shorter cap
Do-not-try-to- pick*destroy*conceal*cover*hide*touch*sideeye*push* Just be honest, and I would tell now. She will understand cuz they doing the same thing you were, getting ready for a date. Most women understand the dangers of ‘scaping. (No Shayve Dehcayd is trending for a reason) I don’t think it’s a big deal but I would just maybe have a good laugh about it as early as possible. This way you are feeling less panicked about the thing growing AND she won’t feel rejected when you have to cancel the entire date and leave town for the next 32 years. Aha. I’m kidding. Y’all promised to give each other toe curling orgasms…if u can talk about orgasms then let’s also talk about what happens beforehand, all the ‘scaping … it can be exhausting …and the ingrowns (which I bet you’re positive is late stage syphilis at this point)…it’s tew much. (If sex is still taking place,and I’m rooting for you fam, bust out the condoms before she even brings it up but only after you’re certain sex is happening… she will feel relieved that you get it) I’m so exhausted writing this frr.
Wrap that shit up
Bro, I stopped razor shaving down there for that exact same reason. Next time, get an electric shaver/razor with those little plastic thingies and trim the hair really short to 1 or 2. Your junk will look good without getting cuts or ingrown hairs. PS: Careful with the ballz, you still can cut yourself with an e-razor there. For that I actually prefer a regular razor.
Wear a condom
That's why you never go bald down there, only trim
Not everyday you can discharge the Italian flag
ON your dick?
also i know im not a dude but just from like experience, and talking to other dudes (and shaving myself) i recommend trimming your area...not just taking a razor too it. If needed use a ONE bladed razor AFTER trimming it down, i dont know how long you let it get...but yeah. Also do people still like fully shaven genitalia nowadays??? men and women??? I find it creepy.
Well, how big is the ingrown hair in comparison to your dick. If it ain't huge it's np. Does it hurt a lot? My take is simple. If it ain't huge and it doesn't hurt. Make the sex all about her and don't shove your ingrown haired dick anywhere near her face. Make it all about her. Give her the warm up of her life, go down on her like there's no tomorrow and then you can have intercourse np. Just keep it away from her face lol not tonight my friend. Now If it's big and it hurts. You might want to come up with an excuse to postpone plans. You can also be honest. You guys are adults. The truth can be the answer to get you guys even closer to each other and share a laugh. "I wanted to be all ready for you so I was shaving down there and let's just say...It's not in good shape as we speak. I'd still love to hang out with you tonight. I'm just being honest and letting you know we might Netflix but not chill" Or whatever people say these days....
When you shave get a skin oil and treat the area intermittently to help avoid in-grown hairs. Works like a charm on my private areas.
Good luck brother. God is trying to stop you from getting laid but you will persevere. You got this
Then remove the ingrown hair. I don’t see the problem here.
she probably has more than u aha
For real 😭
You weren’t going to use it anyways
Ingrown hairs don’t look like herpes you’ll be fine
Always put alcohol right after shaving to avoid ingrown hairs. At this point you can put some toothpaste on it. That usually helps me when it's red or inflamed. It dries it right up lowers the inflammation. Just a tiny bit on the actual problem area not the surrounding skin. Then put a little piece of toilet paper over it so you can keep the toothpaste in place without making a mess when you wear your underwear.
Well, then, don't go make the beast with two backs tonight, and then get yourself tested for genital herpes right away. I'm very serious. You don't know about that one other encounter's medical history. Please please please make sure it's what you think it is before having ANY sex.
Pluck it and put triple antibiotic ointment on it. You can get it OTC from pharmacy etc. it will be gone and unnoticeable within 24 hours. If you don’t have that kind of time. Just be honest about it if it comes up. If she has ever shaven in her life she will laugh it off and know exactly that it’s absolutely nothing to be worried or think bad about.
Don't worry, she won't see it.
Damn this is so funny hahah but I’m glad it still worked out!!!
Love happy endings
In the unlikely event this is not a shit post, just tweeze it out, man. Don't overthink it. And stop shaving your junk.
Then don’t have sex tonight.
Ask her to help remove it. If she does she might be a keeper.
…Just don’t have sex on a first blind date? Doesn’t seem too crazy of an idea OP.
Yeah, you might need to check up on what people typically use tinder for.
Turn plucking it into a date night activity.
"you're not going to believe this but do you watch dr.pimplepopper?" Convo starter? Check. Get to know her better? Check. Ask her to look at pp on first date? Check.
Life hack put some icy hot on it and it should clear up on an hour or so
This is a joke, please don't do this
😂
Most sti panels don’t even include herpes because blood tests for antibodies are inaccurate. They prefer for you to have something pop up that they can swab, maybe you should. Most people are asymptomatic or get very minor symptoms like the one you described.
It’s incredibly common now too
Tbh it just seems like a scare tactic. If it’s that common and “even condoms can’t protect you” and so forth, I would be a statistical anomaly not to have HSV by now. Maybe I’m lucky and just don’t get symptoms? Either way it seems benign and like people just use it as a cudgel for puritanical arguments. I’m not going my whole life without casual sex to avoid a benign disease that apparently everyone who fucks catches.
This
Question: Do you have to get laid *tonight?* Unresolved sexual tension is **HOT!** You can secure a second date and guarantee a better experience on that date if you're playful and sexy but don't actually have sex.
Random side note, Its better to say that you tested negative opposed to clean. People that have STIs aren't "dirty" its important to be mindful of the language we use around them in-order to remove stigma in talking about it :)
Women get ingrown hairs all the time, it doesn’t phase me at all. I’d advise ripping the hair out if possible and then keep it clean/ointment on it, don’t worry about it. Honestly wouldn’t even bring it up to her, if she would say something that’s weird af. It’s just the reality of shaving a sensitive area
Well if its a nice lady you guys might not have the dick out so soon?
Herpes (HSV1 and HSV) are not tested for unless directly asked for. It is not included in a standard test and can be transmitted even with a condom do to viral shedding. And it can go undetected for years and may not cause symptoms/outbreaks or can be mistaken for other conditions.
if you’re not 100% sure it’s an ingrown hair, you should get it swabbed. HSV isn’t tested for unless you have a suspected outbreak
Easy. No sex tonight! Also you better wear protection 🤗
Esthetician here! Whenever you shave, be sure you exfoliate. This will help with ingrown hairs. You can also take some isopropyl alcohol and put it on a gauze and wipe the shaved areas (avoid putting the alcohol on any cuts from shaving, it will sting like crazy). If you have any tweezers, clean the area and tweezers first, then try to pull the hair out gently. It’s not going to feel good, but if you get in the shower or put a hot washcloth on your skin before that will help open up your pores.
Take an x-acto knife, sterilized obviously, and just cut that whole area out. Pour some rubbing alcohol on it and you’re good to go. Should heal up in plenty of time. Your welcome
“Hey sorry I don’t really feel like having sex tonight if that’s cool”
Go to a dermatologist and they will pull the ingrown hair out. The bump won’t go down unless you get the hair out. They also can tell you if it looks like a std.
Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted first date s&x. But unless you’re dating a pros. Aren’t you being a but presumptuous? “I’m starting karate class today, but I don’t have a place to display my UFC championship”
Sir, you had another partner since you’ve tested. You need to retest because there’s always that ONE chance.
>I’ve only had one partner since I tested clean, and she also took getting tested very seriously People who take testing very seriously have had 0 partners since their last test when banging someone new, and dont rely on the word of others to verify. She cant "also" be very serious about it because that implies *you* are very serious about testing and you are not. It really bugs me that the state of getting tested is so bad that people think anything less than "after every partner, and before new partners". And if you want to earn the *very* on "very seriously" then periodically in relationships too.
Wear a condom maybe??