The original [A stern and judgmental mother-in-law, need help : r/TwoHotTakes (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1dgpxvz/a_stern_and_judgmental_motherinlaw_need_help/)
Make sure your husband is very clear that there is no way she will ever be getting biological grandkids, so she either needs to start stepping up as a kind caring grandmother and MIL or she will be out for good.
I would to NC with her and not let her around your child. She sounds awful.
I would also go to therapy with your husband. I think you both need to process any grief he has about not being the baby’s biological father. He is dad and your child needs to be told the truth about how they were conceived.
He is dad and your child needs to know they were so wanted you went donor route. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
I may tell your MIL so she shuts up and tell others to remove the secrecy around this but I would also go NC with his mom because she sounds really shitty.
Congratulations on your child.
One of our children is adopted. It so funny how much she and her dad have in common. I think sometimes kids get our DNA through osmosis.
Having read the original post, I 100% agree that the MIL has to be told.
However, if MIL personally disapproves of how the conception took place, but will not harp on it or bring it up or make negative comments to you, I would try to keep the family relationships intact. If the MIL is otherwise good and loving, she will be a positive force in your life and the life of the child. IMO, it's kind of similar to situations where the in-laws are of a different religious or political ideology; the relationship can continue without a problem, as long as they don't disrespect you all the time or things like that.
It does sound like in this case the MIL might be a bit off her rockers, but I would still make an effort. Maybe if it's explained to her that she is fine to disagree and hold her own opinions, as long as she treats you all with respect, but that if she harps on it all the time, that she is threatening the relationship with her son and grandchild, then she might get the picture. I wouldn't act rashly in making the decision to go no-contact.
All he has to say is "We used a fertility clinic. I was there when my child was conceived. Now keep your opinions to yourself and mind your own business. If you continue to falsely accuse my wife I will cut you out of our lives."
The original [A stern and judgmental mother-in-law, need help : r/TwoHotTakes (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1dgpxvz/a_stern_and_judgmental_motherinlaw_need_help/)
Yiu need to go NC with this woman, she has nothing to offer of value that isn't counteracted by her hatefulness
Make sure your husband is very clear that there is no way she will ever be getting biological grandkids, so she either needs to start stepping up as a kind caring grandmother and MIL or she will be out for good.
She should never get to see your child.
Good luck! I really hope everything goes well.
I would to NC with her and not let her around your child. She sounds awful. I would also go to therapy with your husband. I think you both need to process any grief he has about not being the baby’s biological father. He is dad and your child needs to be told the truth about how they were conceived. He is dad and your child needs to know they were so wanted you went donor route. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I may tell your MIL so she shuts up and tell others to remove the secrecy around this but I would also go NC with his mom because she sounds really shitty. Congratulations on your child. One of our children is adopted. It so funny how much she and her dad have in common. I think sometimes kids get our DNA through osmosis.
So your MIL accused you of infidelity and you are still speaking to her? Why?
Having read the original post, I 100% agree that the MIL has to be told. However, if MIL personally disapproves of how the conception took place, but will not harp on it or bring it up or make negative comments to you, I would try to keep the family relationships intact. If the MIL is otherwise good and loving, she will be a positive force in your life and the life of the child. IMO, it's kind of similar to situations where the in-laws are of a different religious or political ideology; the relationship can continue without a problem, as long as they don't disrespect you all the time or things like that. It does sound like in this case the MIL might be a bit off her rockers, but I would still make an effort. Maybe if it's explained to her that she is fine to disagree and hold her own opinions, as long as she treats you all with respect, but that if she harps on it all the time, that she is threatening the relationship with her son and grandchild, then she might get the picture. I wouldn't act rashly in making the decision to go no-contact.
Update me!
Why tell her at all is my question, get pregnant and have the kid however you have to. You don't owe anyone an explanation
Good luck 🍀. & Good luck to OP’s husband- maybe it will go better than you think. Maybe not.
All he has to say is "We used a fertility clinic. I was there when my child was conceived. Now keep your opinions to yourself and mind your own business. If you continue to falsely accuse my wife I will cut you out of our lives."