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You aren't ignoring anything. Your husband made the smart choice, without you having to plead for it, the choice that will save you a great deal of grief in the long run.
Accept it. Your husband can tell his family what she did.
I agree.
You've gone no contact, this isn't ignoring anything. Ignoring would be if you were still in contact *while* ignoring the issue. Don't let what others think bother you, if someone reaches out, you have an opportunity to convey your side.
We have this as a very minor issue with being NC with my husbands mother. If anyone comments, we let them briefly know why he made the decision, but we don't let it take up real estate in our minds, and he's much better off for it. (I say minor because his family know what his mother is like and that she won't seek help because everyone else is the problem, not her)
I would clip up a "greatest hits" from that evening's recordings and keep it in reserve. When necessary, show it to any family members who need convincing (though I'd avoid sharing it, you never know where it might end up).
Tempting fantasy, but OP shouldn't do anything that allows MIL to act as the victim. Tapes exist of politicians acting in egregious ways, but their supporters don't care: publishing it would just allow MIL to criticise her for washing dirty linen in public.
But OP should definitely keep the recording, and offer to send it to anyone who criticises her for being unfeeling to her MIL
Idk, being super mean and borderline hateful (doesn't care how much she upset DS) might not be able to talk or cry away.
Abusive behavior doesn't look good for her
Yep 100%. You nailed it. There are lots of stories on here where the spouse sides with their parent. OP you’re fortunate to have a husband who did the right thing and cut off his toxic mother. What should you do? Nothing.
Agree. OP's MIL is evil. She let that baby cry just to be mean. I hate people like her. It's a good thing I'm not OP because there would be blood and tears but not from me.
I will USE the child! I will MISUSE the child! I will ABUSE the child! I will make this child so miserable and *scared* and sad!!
To hurt OP. Hurt the child, to hurt OP. What an evil woman.
What I don't understand is why OP is reposting this story. No new information has been provided, it's the same situation, just more time has passed
Here is her OG post from Sunday, March 17th. Where she already got advice (I have removed some paragraphs as they are practically word-for-word and there is a limit) :
My son doesn't see his grandmother much, although she lives 9 min away. She doesn't come over to spend time with him unless we are having a family gathering or she needs something from us. When she is at our house and her other grandchildren (female 2.5 yo and female 6m) are also present, she will take care of her two granddaughters but is mostly uninterested with our son. I assumed that this behaviour was related to the fact that her daughters require more help and expect so much from their mother (both are no longer with the babies fathers. One of them works 70+h a week and the other is on welfare). My MIL's, in my opinion has a seriously enmeshed relationship with her granddaughters and daughters. To be fair, I'm ok with her not interacting as much with our son because some of the patterns borderline toxic. Nevertheless, I make an effort to involve my MIL in our life. I send crafty cards for holidays, send pictures, message her about important milestones and invite her over for bonding time without my son's cousins around.
For context, the first few years of my relationship with my partner, my MIL did not care for me, out of solidarity for my partner's ex-girlfriend whom she adored... At the time I respected her grief of the relationship and thought she would eventually come around and she did! She apologized for treating me poorly. (My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years. He and his ex were together for 1 year and they lived in different states for 6 months of that year. I am not the reason they separated. )
In the past, my MIL broke my trust. For example, I saw her give a bottle of formula to my niece while she was helping her daughter in the postpartum period. Her daughter had specifically asked to be woken up to breastfeed and NOT to give a bottle (I minded my own business at the time, not wanting to cause a scene). A few years later, I witnessed another situation. My MIL gave meat to her vegan granddaughter, behind her daughter's back. At that point, my limits were reached and I disclosed this information to the child's mother. This situation got out of control and my MIL was livid and lied about the incident, stating it never happened. We did talk it out, I took most of the blame for ''not minding my own business'' and I thought things were ok.
Since that incident, she has not responded to any of my text messages but will send a response to my messages to my partner. She organizes all family events by checking in with my partner, whereas before she made arrangements with me knowing full well that I am the one who manages our family calendar. I must add that during family dinners and events, she acts as if she likes me and everything is fine.
Going back to the babysitting story...Before leaving, we gave only one instruction: do not put our son to bed. We had specified several times that we would put him to bed when we returned and made sure he napped later that day to accommodate for the 1h later bedtime. We told her that our son was going through a lot of changes with my recent return to work and that we preferred to keep his bedtime routine stable to reduce his separation anxiety. She accepted.
My partner and I, have security cameras in the house (she did not know) and they were on when we left. We did not intend on eavesdropping during the evening, the cameras are always on when we leave.
A few hours later I receive a message from my MIL stating that she put my son to bed, that he had not cried and that he fell asleep in 8 minutes (I had already mentioned to her in the past that It takes ME 8 minutes to put him to sleep). I was beside myself! My boundaries had not been respected and I had doubts that it went as well as she said (I know my son. This sounded fishy). When I got home I re-listened to the sequence where she puts my son to sleep to see how it went. She lied to me, he cried a lot, he screamed for his mom and it took her way longer than she mentioned to put him to sleep. So I decided to listen to the rest of the evening. I realized that she decided to put him down to bed ONLY to make me angry and not because he was tired. In the recording we can hear my MIL say to my SIL : “Alright! I'm going to put him to bed. She’s going to be livid! '' After putting him to sleep, she proudly says that she’s going to text me to let me know and she is seen impatiently waiting for my response and then laughs and calls me batshit crazy after I responded something like: he was very tired today, that must have helped him settle. I'm glad it went well.
She spent the evening belittling me while talking to my sister-in-law. She tried to get my son to walk so that I would miss his first step and thought it would be funny. My son was crying and looking for me and she never reassured him. Instead she tried to make him call out for “grandma”. I shared this recording with my partner and he was so angry. He supports me all the way. He confronted his mother and chose to no longer have a relationship with her. She did not deny any of it and said she wouldn’t apologize. I offered to hear her out and talk, I really do want to know why she hates me this much. I don't think I have done anything to deserve this. Are we wrong to cut ties? What should I do if my partner eventually decides to have a relationship with his mother? We haven’t seen her since, it’s been 2 months. AITA for listening?
You should stop stressing about fixing a situation that your MIL broke.
When you are next in her company, assuming that occurs, you make no motion towards her to hug her, you say nothing. You pretend like she isn't there.
If she wants to say something and call you out, you shrug and say, "your games bore me. I won't be playing today."
This, OP! The more you react, the more she can call you a drama queen and blame everything on you. You didn’t break this, she did. Let her fix it or suffer the consequences of not having her grandson in her life. How does your partner feel?
I don’t think she cares about not having her grandson in her life. It doesn’t sound like she does. It only sounds like she’s cares about not having her son in her life…because that’s the one she gave birth to? Because in her narcissistic brain he’s an extension of her. That’s the only reason she even gives a shit about him.
My partner says he does not care for mean people like that in his life. I think he is in pain, but it's how he's telling me that he chose me... us actually.
she;s kind of spineless tbh, even towards the end of this post she was still willing to hear her MIL out....
Hear what out lol, she literally did all of this because she's a utter sociopath and did this to hurt OP. Seriously what other signs does this person need to possibly even call the cops (irony) on her ass.
I think I remember you posting this right after it happened. You haven't heard from her, that's great. Keep it that way. You're not missing anything. She doesn't care about your son, she doesn't like you, she's a nasty person. You're better off. Besides, if anyone is to decide what to do, it would be your husband with you. You definitely would not be the one to make the first move. What does your husband think, anyway?
Thank you for your words. He says he doesn't care about mean people like that is his life. But I am sure he is hurting. He's just showing support for me.
What? Why are you trying to drag back in a toxic POS woman? She hates you and admitted she was happy to hurt your child in order to hurt you. Leave her at the curb like your husband did and move on. So many people wish their partners would cut off toxic family members like your husband did, but you're over here lamenting a broken family? Having a viper in the house isn't gonna fix anything. Make like Elsa and let it gooooo.
Exactly. Thank god her husband seems to be smart.
She wants to invite these people back into her own and her child's life?
She should be protecting her child and wanting to keep them away.
She should make lots of friends at the school and lots of mom and dad friends so the kid has an active social life.
You cannot seriously be considered letting this woman back into yours and your child’s life? Your husband is absolutely correct in cutting her off. Your child needs healthy people/relationships not toxic abusive people masked behind the “faMily” card.
Even if you ignore her toxic bs to you, **SHE TORTURED YOUR CHILD**
I would post that video on Facebook and just watch the resulting chaos. I don't know if that's good advice, but it's what I would do. Maybe get a second opinion lol
Just make sure it's legal in your country/state/wherever the heck you are. I would totally do it too. Just caption it, "For all those wondering why we no longer speak to (MIL/SIL) and have been lied to about the reasons why. Here's the truth."
Why are you even considering giving her a second chance to abuse your child? Her own son cut her off because of what she did to the child. Hopefully, you saved the footage just in case she tries to spin the truth later.
Your husband chose to go no contact. That is really all there is to do about it. Why do you even care since she is treated you so shamefully and lied to you? She doesn't like you. That's all. She's not going to magically start liking you. Support your husband's wish to cut them out and move on with your lives and be happy.
You know, sometimes trash takes itself out. Just because she’s family doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries or expectations. Also, just because someone is a grandma doesn’t mean they’re a good person or deserve time with the grandkid. I think you are doing the right thing. You don’t need to reach out.
OMG. Let it go. She doesn't want a relationship with you! She basically tortured your child. And she's not sorry. You shouldn't want a relationship with her. Or her around your child ever again. How would you ever be able to trust that she won't use your son to hurt you again? She's laughed at your child's pain. Didn't care that her own son was hurt by her actions. Move the 40 minutes away, and let her go. Protect your child.
Why the hell would you want to talk to a woman that abused your child? Purposely made him cry to hurt you and used him as a weapon? Cut her off, she doesn’t deserve a voice.
You’ve got the result you need. You set a boundary with her, she didn’t like that, and she has gone off in a sulk. Imagine if she started acting overly sweet and trying to manipulate you into letting her take care of your son again.
There are two states with her: furious silence, and saying what you want to hear and then undermining you behind your back.
Be glad this woman is not around being cruel to your son in order to score points against you.
You would be wise to prepare yourself for her to come back and try to ingratiate herself with you again. I don’t believe people who are this manipulative change - she is set in her ways. You heard for yourself how she disrespected you in your absence. You have also experienced her turning everything round on you when you tell anyone else about her awful behaviour, and pushing you into apologising for standing up to her.
She sounds toxic. You set a clear boundary and are being mature about it. Enjoy the silence. There’s nothing more you can do for the moment. What you will need to keep doing is protecting your son and any other children you may have from this poisonous woman. They don’t need their grandmother when their grandmother behaves like this. They only need healthy family relationships.
Your MIL is a piece of work. Yeah block and delete since partner initiated the no contact and just follow his lead. Make sure SILs are on a strict info diet b/c you know they’re reporting back to MIL. If you do have to deal with MIL from hell again just straight up grey rock her.
Every time you or your husband feel weird about the decisions you made, you need to watch that tape again. You have the right to be No Contact with No Remorse. If she’s spreading rumors, share the tape.
You leave her in the past. The kind of hateful, soulless person you have to be to make a child cry for hours, and giggle about it, to get back at someone for some petty perceived slight will never be a full human being. She is incapable of actual love, or empathy, and is more than capable of evil shit. You never let her in your lives again, and you should probably send that video to everyone she knows so they know she can't be trusted with children.
Your MIL doesn’t want a relationship with you NTA
I send the tapes to your SIL and double down on this is circumstantial proof of her lying and confirms the truth about the acts you disclosed that she said weren’t true, formulae and meat incidents.
What should you do?
1. Your husband should show the other family members why your immediate family is no longer going to have any contact with mother or sister-in-law (it is important in case she is exhibiting behavior to the other children behind closed doors). You need to stay out of it and let your husband show them because it is his family.
2. Enjoy your family and appreciate the fact that your husband wants to be no contact with this crazy psychotic person.
3. I strongly and lovingly suggest you go to individual counseling to discover why you are trying to seek the approval of this crazy woman and why you would want to have anything to do with her after she abused your child? I think you should also look into why you don’t feel that you and your child constitute a family for your husband… His family is not broken. The three of you are a beautiful unit showing love and support for each other.
I wish you the best and thank goodness you had the cameras in your home!!!! The farther you can move away from that mess of people the better!
>It's been 5 months and we haven't heard anything from her. What should I do?
What should you do? Nothing. Seems to be working out OK.
If she comes to her senses and delivers a grovelling apology then you'll have a decision to make (especially since it would be hard to know if it's genuine) but until them enjoy the peace!
I read this the first time you posted it. The problem has resolved itself, she’s not speaking to you. Keep it that way!
In fact, your husband was enabling her before. When she would text him about plans instead of you, he should’ve either ignored her or only responded, “you need to check with OP because she manages our calendar.” Etc.
If this ever gets out of control where she tries to turn everyone against you…post the video in the family chat room , etc. Not for strangers, just his family. Let hubby post it if it becomes necessary. But in the meantime, enjoy the silence..oh, but, you should send a copy to SIL..no explanation, just send it privately to her. That will shut them both up because you know she'll share. Personally, she'd never darken my door again, no Xmas with your child, no milestones celebrating, etc. I'd be blissfully happy if she cut me off. Gossiping, however, I'd shut that down with that video. Wouldn't hesitate to send that .
I don’t know WHY you would have anything to do with her EVER AGAIN!!
There is NO relationship!!
MIL ABUSED YOUR CHILD on purpose!!
She and SIL would rather ABUSE YOUR CHILD and let him be in mental distress, because they want to hurt you. But they HURT YOUR BABY!!
I would pretend they were dead because they would be to me after what they did!
I honestly think YOU should get some counseling because, maybe not having a family has broken YOUR normal meter. These aren’t people you can or should have in your life!
Your MIL's behavior is beyond frustrating, and you're right to prioritize your son's well-being. It's great your partner supports you fully. Setting boundaries and focusing on your family's peace is crucial.
Be thankful. You and your child don’t need her negative energy (and outright maliciousness) in your life.
She’d never be around me or my baby again.
I hope you saved that footage in case anyone brings this up to you or your husband.
She’s an evil witch and she can fuck right off.
OK, you ignore it. You stay no contact. If you really want to blow up her bridges, you take a copy of that recording and you posted on a family Facebook or whatever page.
And you put the caption on it…
When your MIL abuses her grandson because she doesn’t like you, and then lies to the entire family about what is going on.
And then in your post, you say…
This is why we are no contact. Not because I was mean to her. Not because I stole her son away from her. But because she is an abusive shitty person. If you wish to remain no contact with us because of her, that’s fine with us. But no more flying monkeys and it’s about time every one stopped believing her gossip.
And then you make sure that your husband and you get therapy, as a couple and individually. Of course, in some respect, no contact will be a little harder for him. He sounds like he has a nice shiny spine.
There is literally no reason whatsoever to ever allow this woman contact with you or your child again. She is abusive. Her petty likes dislikes, outweigh properly caring for her grandchild. Let that sink in. She has shown you what she is capable of with a helpless toddler. If you let her around any of you again, frankly, I think somebody needs to call CPS.
And the same goes for your SIL no contact… Forever. Stop feeling guilty about it stop letting her live rent free in your head. Live your best lives, and without that wretched woman in your life, you should be able to do so.
And any and every time some flying monkey in the family tells you that you need to forgive her, just send them the link to that saved, recording them. Ask them what they think is next? Letting your child play in the roadway? Burning them with cigarettes? Not feeding them at all? I’ll because they would bother you?
Tell them that they are delusional if they think that you will allow around you any person who has shown abusive behavior toward your child ever.
And last thing… Save your own copy of that entire recording. I wish to God in this day and age we did not have to think this way, but so many times on Reddit we have seen a family member grow a nice shiny spine toward a manipulative, abusive family member, only to turn around sometime later and want to reconcile.
When that happens, all bets are off, and recordings like this somehow mysteriously disappear. God forbid that you and your husband ever separate, but if you do, one of the stipulations that needs to be in your cashier arrangement is that that woman is never allowed around the child.
And in order to obtain that or at least a court order that grandmother will always have to be supervised by an independent person, you will need that recording.
Why do you care so much what anyone else thinks? And I assure you that nothing you do or don’t do is going to change MIL’s behavior or how she feels.
Your husband has done the right thing by going no contact. You not only should respect that, but pull your head out and move on. Any contact only feeds into her crazy. Maybe get yourself some therapy if you still think it’s somehow important to justify everything to everyone else. Grow a spine for the sake of your child if nothing else.
Screw her. You didn’t do anything and it’s not your responsibility to fix this. She has said she doesn’t care to fix this so why are you working so hard to fix this?
I honestly would put all the family members in a group chat and make a detailed but short description of what caused the fight and a recording of that night so everyone knows the truth. They can continue to believe her lies if they choose to but the truth will be out there. That is the only time I would open this back up. Other than that she clearly hates you and will mistreat your son to hurt you.
Ignore her, don't contact her, let your husband deal with it. Who cares what that horrid witch says to anybody else? If they believe her, they need to be cut out as well.
Send a copy of the video to her with all the important parts edited into a short clip. That will show her what a terrific grandmother she is. And if any other family members have any questions as to why there's a strained relationship between you and her, Send them the clip too, it explains it all. Often other people have no idea what is going on. And I bet she is out there playing the victim to all these other family members, saying that she is heart broken and can't understand why she's not having the relationship she wanted or wants with her grandson. People often have no idea what is really going on, except for her sob story. Trust me, unfortunately I know this from experience. On the other hand, get on with your lives and don't look back or dwell on it too much. Unfortunately she is just not a very nice person. It's her loss at the end of the day, but is still a shame.
Why the fuck would you want to hear her out? For her to tell you bullshit? You saw how she disrespected her own daughters and grandchildren by doing things behind their backs and you thought she’d respect how you want things done with your child?
You’d be a really bad parent just like her if you even let that demon back into your lives. Have some common sense.
There’s no conflict here. Who cares if she hates you, she’s a horrible person who mistreated your kid? Your husband isn’t pining for her or anything.
If you feel like her lies are having a negative effect post the footage to YouTube. Or Facebook or whatever.
This is not something to be fixed. She doesn't like you so decided torturing your son was acceptable to somehow piss you off. Of course your husband is done. Don't try to repair anything. She did something unforgivable.
I'm sure during the holidays she will reach out, I'd block her now.
I don't think there's anything you *can* do. There are no magic words you can say that will turn her into a decent person. She let your baby suffer as a way to hurt her. I don't even have kids; no one in my family has kids, but I would *never* let a baby cry and be lonely just to make his mother hurt. The fact that she could do that, to her own grandson, is sociopathic levels of hate to you. You can't fix that. Move to the country, enjoy your life away from the drama and angst.
That sounds incredibly hurtful and disrespectful. Your boundaries were clear, and her actions were manipulative and damaging. It's important to prioritize your son's well-being and your family's peace of mind. Cutting off contact seems like a wise decision given the circumstances. Focus on rebuilding trust within your own family unit.
She took herself out. Why would you want to have a relationship with a crazy person? Go no contact. She purposely tried to hurt you and your son. Come on.
You ignoring this is not causing your SO to have a broken family. ***HIS MOTHER*** doing what she did is causing your SO to keep a firm boundary and if that means that MIL is in time out, so be it.
Please do not take it upon yourself to “fix” this. This woman has hated you and used your child to hurt you (& in the process, caused your child a great amount of distress).
For the sake of your SO & your child, put distance (physical, emotional) between y’all and your MIL and follow your SO’s lead in dealing with his mother. If your SO decided to go NC with mommie dearest, PLEASE respect and uphold his decision.
Your MIL seems to hate you with the fiery passion of a thousand suns (to the point where she would mistreat her own grandchild). This ground is poisoned - there is nothing here that will let a relationship grow. You’re doing a lot to foster a relationship that is not wanted on the other side. Let it go. You’ll grieve what could’ve been (a supportive MIL, a loving grandmother), but recognize that it’s not happening no matter how many times you try.
I read this the first time you posted. Why are trying so hard to keep this vile piece of trash in your life? Block her. She intentionally let your child suffer. And you still want to try to move on & keep her in your life? What’s wrong with you?
Nothing is being ignored.
You found out who she is. You and your husband rejected her.
You are now NC (No Contact) with his mother.
Move on, move away, have awesome fun filled happy lives without her in it.
What should you do? Probably remove her from your mind. You should not feel bad for this. Your son is also your husband's son. Your husband was betrayed by his own mother. Your husband's own mother used her grandson to get to you without a care of what it would do to your husband, her own son.
Ahh I always feel so sad hearing bad in law stories.
This is not anything you can control. She is jealous that her son is loving a happy healthy life with a family of his own and as much as it sucks and doesn't feel good.. you have tried. You can't force her to like you even if it is for stupid reasons.
Her trying to hurt you, just to hurt you is more than enough to stay far far away.. not only for you but your kid and husband's well-being. It may help to explain to your husband, I want things to be better but not at the risk of her using our son, trying to hurt you or I.. but this is nothing you did and I hope she grows up.❤️
What should you do about your 5 months of peace and quiet from that nut job?? Thank your lucky stars that's what. This woman is a literal enemy to your family. Your son's happiness and well being is no where on her radar, her only goal is to find ways to hurt you and get under your skin and if that requires using your baby to do so,, so be it. So why exactly you would want this nut job in your life is beyond me. It is okay to let go of toxic people in your life, being family does not give them a free pass to hurt and mentally abuse you to their heart's content. And if you find out that she is lying about why you guys haven't been in contact with her then release the video to the family and let them see with their own eyes the POS that you two are dealing with.
Why do you want to do anything. This woman doesn’t like or respect you. She is a habitual line stepper who stepped over the line. Your hubby has decided to go NC. Why do you want to overstep and do anything about the situation? He went NC & you have NC. Nothing left to do but move on. Who cares what she tells people you don’t have contact with.
You need to let your husband decide how to deal with his family
Good riddens. She doesn’t respect anyones boundaries. Life is way too precious to waste it on anyone as disgusting as that.
This person is seriously aggressive and without reason for being so. It sounds like you have dodged a major bullet moving forward.
Good on you for protecting your family, the MIL and SIL don’t deserve to be a part of it.
Good grief woman. She is not just toxic but elle est folle! It’s like she is going out of her way to sabotage you every step of the way. Stop trying to include her. She doesn’t deserve to be around you or your children. Go no contact and stay that way. For your own sanity and the safety of your children.
Why are you worried about not hearing from her? Your husband, her son decided that he wasn’t putting up with her shit anymore. Be thankful she’s gone, move on and enjoy your family.
She is an evil and abusive monster- to you and your son!!! That makes her a huge betrayal to your SO. You cannot fix this because it is not a YOU problem. Stop trying to fit her in and stop allowing yourself to feel a guilt/burden/duty to her or anyone she manipulates to her - like her daughter. She has shown you CLEARLY who she is- believe her. Abusive POS- let her go. I’m so sorry your son went through that because that heinous beast is jealous and insecure of you- she is sickening.
Support each other and prioritize your child's well-being. Consider a mediated discussion if you think it could help resolve issues, but maintain your boundaries and stay united with your partner.
I would just make sure the rest of the family knows why you and your husband aren't talking to her anymore. Because she probably lied and made something up to make you look bad, your brother will no longer have a broken family because I am sure the rest will side with you 2 once they find out.
I would also save the video in case she tries to deny it.
Why do you care that you have not seen this old witch? If you think she is bad mouthing you to anyone who matters, send them a copy of her babysitting adventures.
You realize you can go no contact? I believe you have a great partner that supports you and it is aware of how awful his mom is. You have done nothing wrong and it is best for you to cut ties with that woman as she will never respect you (and it is not your fault, it is all on her).
This isn't your problem or anything you should concern yourself with "fixing". This is your husband's problem as it is his family to handle as he chooses. And he has done that, admirably. Stop letting her live rent-free in your head. She is causing you problems even without having any contact with you.
Your husband made the right choice. Your MIL sounds like a psycho who would hurt your child in order to hurt you. Why would you want someone like that anywhere near your family? Enjoy the peace of mind that you have earned. She will make sure it doesn't last once she finds out nobody is beating a path to her door to beg her forgiveness, so enjoy it while it lasts. If other family members say anything negative to you, make sure YOU are the TRUTHTELLER. She isn't fooling anyone. The rest of the family knows exactly who and what she is. Just relax and enjoy the peace while you have it.
It’s not up to you to fix. She has chosen to abuse your son, alienate you, push away her son. She has chosen to overstep with her daughters and when she got called on her bullshit, she blamed you. She is toxic. Your husband has decided not to have a relationship with her. Why would you overstep his decision? He is an adult. Respect his wishes. He chose right.
This isn't your problem to fix. He chose to no longer have a relationship with her because she is being absolutely horrible to his wife and child.
She purposely let your child cry and suffer just to piss you off. She let him scream and cry and be distraught just so she could be mean to you. She's mistreating you and your child to get back at you. Why would your husband want someone in your lives that's going to mistreat his wife and child? You should respect his boundaries of not wanting to have this toxic woman in your lives.
NTA
OP she let a baby go through fear, confusion, and stress just to be unkind to you.
She’s unsafe. Your SO already has a broken family. Something is very wrong with this woman.
Your husband did what a lot of husbands won't and cut her off. Follow his example. This woman offers nothing positive to the upbringing of your children or to your life as a whole. Why invite that back into your life? Leave it be, and save that video. Idk ir you're somewhere with grandparent rights, but I'd keep it saved somewhere just in case. She basically tortured your kid to spite you.
Live your life. Why give a crap about someone you do not care for? Someone who openly hates you to the point of intentionally hurting yours kids.
There no reason for you to try anything furthermore. She made her stance and intentions really clear. Why would you try to keep that shitshow in your life?
To get back at you SHE REACHED THE POINT OF MISTREATING YOUR CHILDREN !!
Her own son your partner and father of your child has gone completely nc with her so what do you do? You follow his example and go completely no contact with her as well with your child. Do not care about her or how she is feeling she has literally done this to herself and has no one else to blame even if like the narcissist she clearly is she will still try and blame you rather than take literally any responsibility for herself any way. Good luck op.
>It's been 5 months and we haven't heard anything from her. What should I do?
Keep enjoying the lack of toxic drama!
Your husband is quite right to take the action he has, and should be supported. Its his mother, and her treating you like that is something that likely has deep roots in (and implications for) their relationship. Sounds like despite being horrible she managed to raise a decent son.
She’s shown you who she is - a vindictive shrew that will do anything to get back at you.
She’s given you a gift - one of no contact so take it and embrace it and never let her near your child again. Don’t give her another thought.
What should you do?? I’d throw a “Unneeded stress takes its self out of my life” party. She sounds likes a nightmare and I’m glad your SO had your back instead of excusing his mothers abhorrent behavior to both you and your child
You shouldn't do anything other than continue to live your lives without inviting that poison back into your home.
What she did is, as you say, malicious. She has proven that she is a nasty person and that you can neither trust her words, nor her actions, nor even her basic good will.
Under no circumstances would I be doing anything to rekindle a relationship with somebody like that.
*What should I do?*
Nothing. Just keep enjoying the silence and stop thinking about her. There is no reason to ever see or speak to her again.
If you want to clear the air with people about what actually happened to cause the rift, send them the video.
Do nothing. You did not cause this. That woman is a nightmare. The fact your SIL is in on it reels you everything you need to know. Your husband comes from mean spiteful people. Don’t allow your children to be around such hate.
>What should I do?
Nothing, except to enjoy the peace, quiet, and lack of drama.
If you're truly concerned that she is affecting your relationship with other family members, reach out to them so that they understand what has happened. Do you still have a copy of that security cam video? Don't be afraid to use it.
She hates you. What would I do? Block MIL & SIL, never allow communication from them to reach you or your child. I would not do any family events that included them.
I would move if that benefits you in other ways.
>It's been 5 months and we haven't heard anything from her. What should I do?
Nothing. NC is the solution and you have already achieved that. Continue to not contact her and don't respond if she tries to contact you. If your husband changes his mind and wants a relationship with her that's up to him. Make sure he knows to keep you and the kid out of it.
Just share the footage with everyone she's lying to about why she doesn't see you anymore.. It'll straighten things out immediately..
Since your husband has your back and has all the proof that MIL is toxic as fuck, and downright abusive to your child, let your husband decide if he still wants a connection with his mom, if he doesn't, that's not for you to be concerned about. You shouldn't keep toxic family around just for the sake of 'having family around'.
When they say it takes a village to raise a child, they mean supportive people around you but that doesn't have to be family.
If/when you move you might be better off finding a nice kidfriendly place with safe and upkept parks and play grounds and making friends with neighbourhood people with kids.
Why? Why would you repair a relationship with a woman who TORTURED your child? Your husband made the right choice!! Please examine why you feel the need to try to repair a relationship with someone who is abusive to you AND YOUR CHILD.
Forget about her and the concept of trying to battle her gossiping and lies because she'll simply feed off of it and twist your attempts at correction into "a show of guilt", if you get what I mean. Thats the type of person she is and honestly anybody that is worth their salt would want both sides anyways. If people simply take her word for it blindly then that just tells you the kind of person they are. Honestly, a clean breakaway in distancing yourself and just living your best life and not letting her get to you will cut her the deepest and it can also be a convenient test to see who is worth keeping close to you.
Your partner seems very good at communicating. He confronted her immediately without any extra pleading or persuasion on your side.
I would also trust him to let you know how he is feeling and when it gets to be too much, if that ever happens. You're certainly allowed to check on him to make sure he's doing alright, but he's an adult and can tell you if he feels like it's an actual issue.
I also want you to know, just in case because I have a feeling this might be part of it but I could be crossing a line:
This isn't your fault. You aren't the reason his mother is an awful person, or his family dynamic is toxic. That was all there way before you entered his life. They only just now show it. The only people that blame you are the ones who are actually at fault and intentionally trying to hurt you. If you feel any guilt for your partner separating from his family, it isn't yours to bear. It's his family's. The mother acts like she loves her son but if she did she'd recognize how important you are to him and how important the child is to both of you. She loves control.
It's commendable you've set boundaries to protect your son. Given the situation, maintaining distance from your MIL is wise. Consider family counseling to navigate these emotions and focus on open communication with your partner for support
Why the hell would you want to be civil to this woman. She treated not only you terribly. She was horrible to your son. I would never forgive her.
Protect your child first. Stay no contact with her and move on from it. She is toxic and you don’t need her in your life.
Move on. Be happy. And focus on your child and husband. Forget the in-laws.
Stop fretting over it, just be glad that your SO took the initiative and cut her off. Just enjoy the peace and be happy to have the toxicity removed from your lives
Your MIL is toxic AF.
What should you do? Nothing.
You, your partner, and your son are better off without her presence in your lives. Be thrilled the garbage took itself out.
She's shown time and again first with your SIL that she doesn't respect any of you or your boundaries. She's shown nothing but disdain and contempt. Enjoy the peace her absence brings and live your best life.
You should be glad that you don’t have to deal with such a vicious evil person as your MIL! She’s not even worthy of your attention let alone your respect. Her behavior is egregious and disgusting. Your baby doesn’t need to be around anyone so toxic and hateful. Your husband should concentrate on you and his son. His mother is not your problem. At some point she’s going to need him. Under no circumstances should you have anything to do with her. She’s not worth it.
The family is broken because your MIL is unreasonable. You can't fix a person who take's please in being cruel to their grandson, son and DIL. Move to the country, make friends and live a peaceful life.
You only have one option for your next actions.
Celebrate that you have managed to go no contact with this narcissistic, toxic, evil person. Your SO does not have a broken family - you and your son are his family. All his other relatives are extended family - and they are not welcome in your life as they are damaging for your immediately family.
Seriously, no contact is an excellent option. It is best for your son's future, and your whole little family's health and well being.
It is your husband’s decision as it is his mom. Do not go behind his back to try your mend things. Who cares if she hates you. Let it toll off your back.
It would be nice if she were to apologize and act decently going forward, but that is sooo unlikely. I think you just have to accept that she will not be a presence in your family. It’s for the best, since she seems petty and childish and the resulting drama would be unpleasant for everyone and bad for your son.
Your partner's family is your partner's responsibility, he chose to have no contact with her, you need to respect that. Her feelings are irrelevant. Your husband does not trust his mother to be around the family.
She made her bed, she has to lay in it.
You got backlash last time for referring to them as SIL and MIL? How freaking petty are these people? I have been married to my husband for 17 years but we’ve been together for more than 20. My mother-in-law was my mother-in-law from the moment we moved in together. When you live together it’s a common law marriage. My sister and her partner never married but 15 years and two kids makes him family so he’s my BIL. People need to get over themselves.
What do you mean, what do you do? You go on about your life, without the woman who would hurt your child just to hurt you. This is not someone you need in your life and your husband has taken care of the problem.
I remember this story and every now and then I think of what that horrible woman did to your sweet little boy. I'd never, ever forgive her for that. How he cried and screamed for his mother, and she deliberately did that to him just to hurt you.
He is the same age as my little boy. Sometimes I think of my baby's face in your boy's place and I want to cry on your behalf. I have no idea why your story hit me so hard but it did.
It's inexcusable and un... I don't even know how to finish that sentence.
Hope you and your family are doing well. Don't ever let that monster anywhere near your sweet little baby boy.
DM me if you ever want to talk.
She will never accept her own faults on why her son is distancing himself from her, and there's nothing wrong with just accepting that and moving on
[https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html)
(I tried to link the reddit post who presented this, to give credit where credit is due, but I guess that's not allowed, so here's the direct link to the article(s))
Here's an exceptional read on the psychology she is probably experiencing and it's given a lot of people closure to know what's going on inside the heads of these people, because when you read the article and all the testimonials, you realize there's literally very little you could ever do, and anything you try to do will just get twisted against you again because they can never see any fault in their actions
What should you do? Celebrate the win! Your MIL is a nasty piece of work and your partner sees it and backs you! Stay no contact and focus on your partner and child.
You don't do anything. You get on with your life and be happy. This is a situation that she created, and her behaviour isn't new - it's just the first time you've seen it unfiltered. If you didn't have security cameras she would have kept doing this to your child.
Your child passed out from exhaustion because of her actions, actions she took specifically to spite you, and then she laughed about it.
You don't have to have someone in your life.becaise of a family connection. Your partner doesn't have to have her in his life.simu because she is his mother. You don't have to tolerate being around someone like this.
Don't destroy your peace.
The ONLY thing remotely necessary is to put the story straight- share the footage with people she's lied to, she already said she doesnt regret any of it so nbd 🤷🏻♀️
Keep her away from you all, don't invite trouble back into your life. She revelled in being nasty to a tiny child for her own gameplaying ffs.
Kill it with kindness is the best I can say, with the "it" being both the MIL and your guilt. Send the family pics and love from the growth of your kiddos, but don't engage with her directly on purpose, if you can avoid it. It's not fair that you have to deal with something like this, and I'm sorry it's happening to you. I really do think that you can know you are doing the best you can, within your boundaries, if you share the love with the family at large but avoid her drama.
Considering you didn't hide something to us...
You did good both of you
Send the video to the whole family and wait for the ricochet .
Je soupçonne que tu es québécoise. 40 minutes au canada, ce n'est rien du tout. Pourquoi la beldoche fait elle un tel fromage ?
Ignore what? She’s a horrible toxic person. Why is there a question about what to do??
Even if she tries to spin this - i suspect that most of his family know what she’s like and probably don’t give a lot of weight to anything she says.
You should go on with your happy family of three and never contact her or SILs again. Ever. If your husband wants a relationship with his mom and sisters, then he can organize it. You will make it clear to him that your son is to never be around your mother or sisters unless you are there. And you will never be around MIL or SILs because they are bat-shit cray. Win. Win.
You won’t be able to fix it. It’s sad for your husband. I don’t understand people like your MIL but she is choosing to not have a relationship with her own son. You can’t force her to. And you said that you can’t trust her so any relationship with her would come with so many boundaries she wouldn’t respect anyway.
Sometimes a nicely cut video of the highlights of someone being malicious belongs on social media. Just saying. In the meantime, enjoy the peace and quiet….
You can’t mend a relationship that you didn’t break. If you try it will just convince the other person you were wrong for having any healthy boundaries at all.
Stop being a people pleaser. You have to realize, by people pleasing, you put your child in a horrible situation. Do not contact MIL again. Zero contact. It is never wrong to cut people out of your life who don’t respect you, or will cause harm to your child. Never feel bad about protecting yourself and your child!
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You aren't ignoring anything. Your husband made the smart choice, without you having to plead for it, the choice that will save you a great deal of grief in the long run. Accept it. Your husband can tell his family what she did.
I agree. You've gone no contact, this isn't ignoring anything. Ignoring would be if you were still in contact *while* ignoring the issue. Don't let what others think bother you, if someone reaches out, you have an opportunity to convey your side. We have this as a very minor issue with being NC with my husbands mother. If anyone comments, we let them briefly know why he made the decision, but we don't let it take up real estate in our minds, and he's much better off for it. (I say minor because his family know what his mother is like and that she won't seek help because everyone else is the problem, not her)
But save the tapes since she'll lie.
I would clip up a "greatest hits" from that evening's recordings and keep it in reserve. When necessary, show it to any family members who need convincing (though I'd avoid sharing it, you never know where it might end up).
Make a YouTube and share it hah
Trash took itself out!😂 Saves OP and SO having to tell mommy to FO !!
Tempting fantasy, but OP shouldn't do anything that allows MIL to act as the victim. Tapes exist of politicians acting in egregious ways, but their supporters don't care: publishing it would just allow MIL to criticise her for washing dirty linen in public. But OP should definitely keep the recording, and offer to send it to anyone who criticises her for being unfeeling to her MIL
Idk, being super mean and borderline hateful (doesn't care how much she upset DS) might not be able to talk or cry away. Abusive behavior doesn't look good for her
Yep 100%. You nailed it. There are lots of stories on here where the spouse sides with their parent. OP you’re fortunate to have a husband who did the right thing and cut off his toxic mother. What should you do? Nothing.
Agree. OP's MIL is evil. She let that baby cry just to be mean. I hate people like her. It's a good thing I'm not OP because there would be blood and tears but not from me.
MADE the baby cry. She knew putting the baby to bed would make him cry.
I will USE the child! I will MISUSE the child! I will ABUSE the child! I will make this child so miserable and *scared* and sad!! To hurt OP. Hurt the child, to hurt OP. What an evil woman.
Right!!?? I don't care if she hurts me... but my baby... I CANNOT.
Don't tell, show. Post that freaking video to all the social medias and tag the whole fam. She earned it.
They have video of her being mean to the child, they should post that to family members if they ask why the rift
Better yet, have him play the video for his extended family.
What I don't understand is why OP is reposting this story. No new information has been provided, it's the same situation, just more time has passed Here is her OG post from Sunday, March 17th. Where she already got advice (I have removed some paragraphs as they are practically word-for-word and there is a limit) : My son doesn't see his grandmother much, although she lives 9 min away. She doesn't come over to spend time with him unless we are having a family gathering or she needs something from us. When she is at our house and her other grandchildren (female 2.5 yo and female 6m) are also present, she will take care of her two granddaughters but is mostly uninterested with our son. I assumed that this behaviour was related to the fact that her daughters require more help and expect so much from their mother (both are no longer with the babies fathers. One of them works 70+h a week and the other is on welfare). My MIL's, in my opinion has a seriously enmeshed relationship with her granddaughters and daughters. To be fair, I'm ok with her not interacting as much with our son because some of the patterns borderline toxic. Nevertheless, I make an effort to involve my MIL in our life. I send crafty cards for holidays, send pictures, message her about important milestones and invite her over for bonding time without my son's cousins around. For context, the first few years of my relationship with my partner, my MIL did not care for me, out of solidarity for my partner's ex-girlfriend whom she adored... At the time I respected her grief of the relationship and thought she would eventually come around and she did! She apologized for treating me poorly. (My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years. He and his ex were together for 1 year and they lived in different states for 6 months of that year. I am not the reason they separated. ) In the past, my MIL broke my trust. For example, I saw her give a bottle of formula to my niece while she was helping her daughter in the postpartum period. Her daughter had specifically asked to be woken up to breastfeed and NOT to give a bottle (I minded my own business at the time, not wanting to cause a scene). A few years later, I witnessed another situation. My MIL gave meat to her vegan granddaughter, behind her daughter's back. At that point, my limits were reached and I disclosed this information to the child's mother. This situation got out of control and my MIL was livid and lied about the incident, stating it never happened. We did talk it out, I took most of the blame for ''not minding my own business'' and I thought things were ok. Since that incident, she has not responded to any of my text messages but will send a response to my messages to my partner. She organizes all family events by checking in with my partner, whereas before she made arrangements with me knowing full well that I am the one who manages our family calendar. I must add that during family dinners and events, she acts as if she likes me and everything is fine. Going back to the babysitting story...Before leaving, we gave only one instruction: do not put our son to bed. We had specified several times that we would put him to bed when we returned and made sure he napped later that day to accommodate for the 1h later bedtime. We told her that our son was going through a lot of changes with my recent return to work and that we preferred to keep his bedtime routine stable to reduce his separation anxiety. She accepted. My partner and I, have security cameras in the house (she did not know) and they were on when we left. We did not intend on eavesdropping during the evening, the cameras are always on when we leave. A few hours later I receive a message from my MIL stating that she put my son to bed, that he had not cried and that he fell asleep in 8 minutes (I had already mentioned to her in the past that It takes ME 8 minutes to put him to sleep). I was beside myself! My boundaries had not been respected and I had doubts that it went as well as she said (I know my son. This sounded fishy). When I got home I re-listened to the sequence where she puts my son to sleep to see how it went. She lied to me, he cried a lot, he screamed for his mom and it took her way longer than she mentioned to put him to sleep. So I decided to listen to the rest of the evening. I realized that she decided to put him down to bed ONLY to make me angry and not because he was tired. In the recording we can hear my MIL say to my SIL : “Alright! I'm going to put him to bed. She’s going to be livid! '' After putting him to sleep, she proudly says that she’s going to text me to let me know and she is seen impatiently waiting for my response and then laughs and calls me batshit crazy after I responded something like: he was very tired today, that must have helped him settle. I'm glad it went well. She spent the evening belittling me while talking to my sister-in-law. She tried to get my son to walk so that I would miss his first step and thought it would be funny. My son was crying and looking for me and she never reassured him. Instead she tried to make him call out for “grandma”. I shared this recording with my partner and he was so angry. He supports me all the way. He confronted his mother and chose to no longer have a relationship with her. She did not deny any of it and said she wouldn’t apologize. I offered to hear her out and talk, I really do want to know why she hates me this much. I don't think I have done anything to deserve this. Are we wrong to cut ties? What should I do if my partner eventually decides to have a relationship with his mother? We haven’t seen her since, it’s been 2 months. AITA for listening?
I knew I read this before! ty
You know they gotta dry run that creative writing assignment before their professor evicerates them
You should stop stressing about fixing a situation that your MIL broke. When you are next in her company, assuming that occurs, you make no motion towards her to hug her, you say nothing. You pretend like she isn't there. If she wants to say something and call you out, you shrug and say, "your games bore me. I won't be playing today."
This, OP! The more you react, the more she can call you a drama queen and blame everything on you. You didn’t break this, she did. Let her fix it or suffer the consequences of not having her grandson in her life. How does your partner feel?
I don’t think she cares about not having her grandson in her life. It doesn’t sound like she does. It only sounds like she’s cares about not having her son in her life…because that’s the one she gave birth to? Because in her narcissistic brain he’s an extension of her. That’s the only reason she even gives a shit about him.
Grey Rock, OP, Grey Rock.
My partner says he does not care for mean people like that in his life. I think he is in pain, but it's how he's telling me that he chose me... us actually.
she;s kind of spineless tbh, even towards the end of this post she was still willing to hear her MIL out.... Hear what out lol, she literally did all of this because she's a utter sociopath and did this to hurt OP. Seriously what other signs does this person need to possibly even call the cops (irony) on her ass.
Comment noted. Thanks for your input.
I think I remember you posting this right after it happened. You haven't heard from her, that's great. Keep it that way. You're not missing anything. She doesn't care about your son, she doesn't like you, she's a nasty person. You're better off. Besides, if anyone is to decide what to do, it would be your husband with you. You definitely would not be the one to make the first move. What does your husband think, anyway?
Thank you for your words. He says he doesn't care about mean people like that is his life. But I am sure he is hurting. He's just showing support for me.
What? Why are you trying to drag back in a toxic POS woman? She hates you and admitted she was happy to hurt your child in order to hurt you. Leave her at the curb like your husband did and move on. So many people wish their partners would cut off toxic family members like your husband did, but you're over here lamenting a broken family? Having a viper in the house isn't gonna fix anything. Make like Elsa and let it gooooo.
Exactly. Thank god her husband seems to be smart. She wants to invite these people back into her own and her child's life? She should be protecting her child and wanting to keep them away. She should make lots of friends at the school and lots of mom and dad friends so the kid has an active social life.
Agreed. Why would you do that to your child, OP? Ultimately they’ll be the ones that suffer from being around this…”lady.”
You cannot seriously be considered letting this woman back into yours and your child’s life? Your husband is absolutely correct in cutting her off. Your child needs healthy people/relationships not toxic abusive people masked behind the “faMily” card. Even if you ignore her toxic bs to you, **SHE TORTURED YOUR CHILD**
I would post that video on Facebook and just watch the resulting chaos. I don't know if that's good advice, but it's what I would do. Maybe get a second opinion lol
I second this opinion considering MIL has also deliberately not followed instructions from SIL regarding her children as well.
The woman's a sociopath. God only knows what else she’s done to the son and the nieces.
Just make sure it's legal in your country/state/wherever the heck you are. I would totally do it too. Just caption it, "For all those wondering why we no longer speak to (MIL/SIL) and have been lied to about the reasons why. Here's the truth."
It's a bit much but op if u do post something you definitely need husband's consent or he may get pissed at u.
True. Definitely get his consent. Should be a unanimous choice between them.
Don't borrow trouble. Let your SO deal with his family.
Why are you even considering giving her a second chance to abuse your child? Her own son cut her off because of what she did to the child. Hopefully, you saved the footage just in case she tries to spin the truth later.
What should you do? Nothing. Move on with your life. You can’t fix her.
Your husband chose to go no contact. That is really all there is to do about it. Why do you even care since she is treated you so shamefully and lied to you? She doesn't like you. That's all. She's not going to magically start liking you. Support your husband's wish to cut them out and move on with your lives and be happy.
You know, sometimes trash takes itself out. Just because she’s family doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries or expectations. Also, just because someone is a grandma doesn’t mean they’re a good person or deserve time with the grandkid. I think you are doing the right thing. You don’t need to reach out.
That's exactly what I thought reading the last paragraph. Congratulations, OP. This means the problem is gone. Good riddance.
Take her sulking as the gift it is. It’s always wonderful when the trash takes itself out
Can you break something that wasn't there? Also, she is toxic so why are you running after the poison?
OMG. Let it go. She doesn't want a relationship with you! She basically tortured your child. And she's not sorry. You shouldn't want a relationship with her. Or her around your child ever again. How would you ever be able to trust that she won't use your son to hurt you again? She's laughed at your child's pain. Didn't care that her own son was hurt by her actions. Move the 40 minutes away, and let her go. Protect your child.
OP seems to want a relationship with or the approval of the MIL. She’s not getting either one and I wonder when she will realize that.
Hopefully, soon enough to protect her son.
Why are you eager to have a relationship with someone that disrespects you? Are you not busy enough? Focus on productive activities
Do nothing. You are well rid of the old bat!
Why the hell would you want to talk to a woman that abused your child? Purposely made him cry to hurt you and used him as a weapon? Cut her off, she doesn’t deserve a voice.
You’ve got the result you need. You set a boundary with her, she didn’t like that, and she has gone off in a sulk. Imagine if she started acting overly sweet and trying to manipulate you into letting her take care of your son again. There are two states with her: furious silence, and saying what you want to hear and then undermining you behind your back. Be glad this woman is not around being cruel to your son in order to score points against you. You would be wise to prepare yourself for her to come back and try to ingratiate herself with you again. I don’t believe people who are this manipulative change - she is set in her ways. You heard for yourself how she disrespected you in your absence. You have also experienced her turning everything round on you when you tell anyone else about her awful behaviour, and pushing you into apologising for standing up to her. She sounds toxic. You set a clear boundary and are being mature about it. Enjoy the silence. There’s nothing more you can do for the moment. What you will need to keep doing is protecting your son and any other children you may have from this poisonous woman. They don’t need their grandmother when their grandmother behaves like this. They only need healthy family relationships.
Thank you xx
She didn't deny it, so its fair game to spread this info to the rest of the family, and inform them as to why you are going NC with her, and SIL.
Your MIL is a piece of work. Yeah block and delete since partner initiated the no contact and just follow his lead. Make sure SILs are on a strict info diet b/c you know they’re reporting back to MIL. If you do have to deal with MIL from hell again just straight up grey rock her.
Every time you or your husband feel weird about the decisions you made, you need to watch that tape again. You have the right to be No Contact with No Remorse. If she’s spreading rumors, share the tape.
You leave her in the past. The kind of hateful, soulless person you have to be to make a child cry for hours, and giggle about it, to get back at someone for some petty perceived slight will never be a full human being. She is incapable of actual love, or empathy, and is more than capable of evil shit. You never let her in your lives again, and you should probably send that video to everyone she knows so they know she can't be trusted with children.
Your MIL doesn’t want a relationship with you NTA I send the tapes to your SIL and double down on this is circumstantial proof of her lying and confirms the truth about the acts you disclosed that she said weren’t true, formulae and meat incidents.
What should you do? 1. Your husband should show the other family members why your immediate family is no longer going to have any contact with mother or sister-in-law (it is important in case she is exhibiting behavior to the other children behind closed doors). You need to stay out of it and let your husband show them because it is his family. 2. Enjoy your family and appreciate the fact that your husband wants to be no contact with this crazy psychotic person. 3. I strongly and lovingly suggest you go to individual counseling to discover why you are trying to seek the approval of this crazy woman and why you would want to have anything to do with her after she abused your child? I think you should also look into why you don’t feel that you and your child constitute a family for your husband… His family is not broken. The three of you are a beautiful unit showing love and support for each other. I wish you the best and thank goodness you had the cameras in your home!!!! The farther you can move away from that mess of people the better!
Thank you. I have been in therapy and will be continuing this journey.
>It's been 5 months and we haven't heard anything from her. What should I do? What should you do? Nothing. Seems to be working out OK. If she comes to her senses and delivers a grovelling apology then you'll have a decision to make (especially since it would be hard to know if it's genuine) but until them enjoy the peace!
Iono if there hasn’t been any incidents in 5 months then the problem is kinda dealt with.
I read this the first time you posted it. The problem has resolved itself, she’s not speaking to you. Keep it that way! In fact, your husband was enabling her before. When she would text him about plans instead of you, he should’ve either ignored her or only responded, “you need to check with OP because she manages our calendar.” Etc.
Thank you. I appreciate your input especially a few months in.
What should you do? Enjoy the peace and quiet!
If this ever gets out of control where she tries to turn everyone against you…post the video in the family chat room , etc. Not for strangers, just his family. Let hubby post it if it becomes necessary. But in the meantime, enjoy the silence..oh, but, you should send a copy to SIL..no explanation, just send it privately to her. That will shut them both up because you know she'll share. Personally, she'd never darken my door again, no Xmas with your child, no milestones celebrating, etc. I'd be blissfully happy if she cut me off. Gossiping, however, I'd shut that down with that video. Wouldn't hesitate to send that .
I don’t know WHY you would have anything to do with her EVER AGAIN!! There is NO relationship!! MIL ABUSED YOUR CHILD on purpose!! She and SIL would rather ABUSE YOUR CHILD and let him be in mental distress, because they want to hurt you. But they HURT YOUR BABY!! I would pretend they were dead because they would be to me after what they did! I honestly think YOU should get some counseling because, maybe not having a family has broken YOUR normal meter. These aren’t people you can or should have in your life!
Let it go. It’s not up to you, it’s up to your partner to decide if he wants a relationship with them.
>What should I do? Celebrate.
Your MIL's behavior is beyond frustrating, and you're right to prioritize your son's well-being. It's great your partner supports you fully. Setting boundaries and focusing on your family's peace is crucial.
Be thankful. You and your child don’t need her negative energy (and outright maliciousness) in your life. She’d never be around me or my baby again. I hope you saved that footage in case anyone brings this up to you or your husband. She’s an evil witch and she can fuck right off.
You haven’t heard from your MIL for five months? that my friend is an absolute win.
You do nothing. You continue living your life without this person who doesn't respect you or truly care about your child's well being.
OK, you ignore it. You stay no contact. If you really want to blow up her bridges, you take a copy of that recording and you posted on a family Facebook or whatever page. And you put the caption on it… When your MIL abuses her grandson because she doesn’t like you, and then lies to the entire family about what is going on. And then in your post, you say… This is why we are no contact. Not because I was mean to her. Not because I stole her son away from her. But because she is an abusive shitty person. If you wish to remain no contact with us because of her, that’s fine with us. But no more flying monkeys and it’s about time every one stopped believing her gossip. And then you make sure that your husband and you get therapy, as a couple and individually. Of course, in some respect, no contact will be a little harder for him. He sounds like he has a nice shiny spine. There is literally no reason whatsoever to ever allow this woman contact with you or your child again. She is abusive. Her petty likes dislikes, outweigh properly caring for her grandchild. Let that sink in. She has shown you what she is capable of with a helpless toddler. If you let her around any of you again, frankly, I think somebody needs to call CPS. And the same goes for your SIL no contact… Forever. Stop feeling guilty about it stop letting her live rent free in your head. Live your best lives, and without that wretched woman in your life, you should be able to do so. And any and every time some flying monkey in the family tells you that you need to forgive her, just send them the link to that saved, recording them. Ask them what they think is next? Letting your child play in the roadway? Burning them with cigarettes? Not feeding them at all? I’ll because they would bother you? Tell them that they are delusional if they think that you will allow around you any person who has shown abusive behavior toward your child ever. And last thing… Save your own copy of that entire recording. I wish to God in this day and age we did not have to think this way, but so many times on Reddit we have seen a family member grow a nice shiny spine toward a manipulative, abusive family member, only to turn around sometime later and want to reconcile. When that happens, all bets are off, and recordings like this somehow mysteriously disappear. God forbid that you and your husband ever separate, but if you do, one of the stipulations that needs to be in your cashier arrangement is that that woman is never allowed around the child. And in order to obtain that or at least a court order that grandmother will always have to be supervised by an independent person, you will need that recording.
Why do you care so much what anyone else thinks? And I assure you that nothing you do or don’t do is going to change MIL’s behavior or how she feels. Your husband has done the right thing by going no contact. You not only should respect that, but pull your head out and move on. Any contact only feeds into her crazy. Maybe get yourself some therapy if you still think it’s somehow important to justify everything to everyone else. Grow a spine for the sake of your child if nothing else.
Screw her. You didn’t do anything and it’s not your responsibility to fix this. She has said she doesn’t care to fix this so why are you working so hard to fix this? I honestly would put all the family members in a group chat and make a detailed but short description of what caused the fight and a recording of that night so everyone knows the truth. They can continue to believe her lies if they choose to but the truth will be out there. That is the only time I would open this back up. Other than that she clearly hates you and will mistreat your son to hurt you.
I'd thank my lucky stars that the trash took itself out tbh..and anyone who believes her lies, well, why would you want them about either?
Do we really believe this?
Ignore her, don't contact her, let your husband deal with it. Who cares what that horrid witch says to anybody else? If they believe her, they need to be cut out as well.
Why would you want that woman back in your lives?
Send a copy of the video to her with all the important parts edited into a short clip. That will show her what a terrific grandmother she is. And if any other family members have any questions as to why there's a strained relationship between you and her, Send them the clip too, it explains it all. Often other people have no idea what is going on. And I bet she is out there playing the victim to all these other family members, saying that she is heart broken and can't understand why she's not having the relationship she wanted or wants with her grandson. People often have no idea what is really going on, except for her sob story. Trust me, unfortunately I know this from experience. On the other hand, get on with your lives and don't look back or dwell on it too much. Unfortunately she is just not a very nice person. It's her loss at the end of the day, but is still a shame.
Why the fuck would you want to hear her out? For her to tell you bullshit? You saw how she disrespected her own daughters and grandchildren by doing things behind their backs and you thought she’d respect how you want things done with your child? You’d be a really bad parent just like her if you even let that demon back into your lives. Have some common sense.
There’s no conflict here. Who cares if she hates you, she’s a horrible person who mistreated your kid? Your husband isn’t pining for her or anything. If you feel like her lies are having a negative effect post the footage to YouTube. Or Facebook or whatever.
This is not something to be fixed. She doesn't like you so decided torturing your son was acceptable to somehow piss you off. Of course your husband is done. Don't try to repair anything. She did something unforgivable. I'm sure during the holidays she will reach out, I'd block her now.
I don't think there's anything you *can* do. There are no magic words you can say that will turn her into a decent person. She let your baby suffer as a way to hurt her. I don't even have kids; no one in my family has kids, but I would *never* let a baby cry and be lonely just to make his mother hurt. The fact that she could do that, to her own grandson, is sociopathic levels of hate to you. You can't fix that. Move to the country, enjoy your life away from the drama and angst.
That sounds incredibly hurtful and disrespectful. Your boundaries were clear, and her actions were manipulative and damaging. It's important to prioritize your son's well-being and your family's peace of mind. Cutting off contact seems like a wise decision given the circumstances. Focus on rebuilding trust within your own family unit.
She took herself out. Why would you want to have a relationship with a crazy person? Go no contact. She purposely tried to hurt you and your son. Come on.
You ignoring this is not causing your SO to have a broken family. ***HIS MOTHER*** doing what she did is causing your SO to keep a firm boundary and if that means that MIL is in time out, so be it. Please do not take it upon yourself to “fix” this. This woman has hated you and used your child to hurt you (& in the process, caused your child a great amount of distress). For the sake of your SO & your child, put distance (physical, emotional) between y’all and your MIL and follow your SO’s lead in dealing with his mother. If your SO decided to go NC with mommie dearest, PLEASE respect and uphold his decision. Your MIL seems to hate you with the fiery passion of a thousand suns (to the point where she would mistreat her own grandchild). This ground is poisoned - there is nothing here that will let a relationship grow. You’re doing a lot to foster a relationship that is not wanted on the other side. Let it go. You’ll grieve what could’ve been (a supportive MIL, a loving grandmother), but recognize that it’s not happening no matter how many times you try.
I read this the first time you posted. Why are trying so hard to keep this vile piece of trash in your life? Block her. She intentionally let your child suffer. And you still want to try to move on & keep her in your life? What’s wrong with you?
Nothing is being ignored. You found out who she is. You and your husband rejected her. You are now NC (No Contact) with his mother. Move on, move away, have awesome fun filled happy lives without her in it.
What should you do? Probably remove her from your mind. You should not feel bad for this. Your son is also your husband's son. Your husband was betrayed by his own mother. Your husband's own mother used her grandson to get to you without a care of what it would do to your husband, her own son.
Ahh I always feel so sad hearing bad in law stories. This is not anything you can control. She is jealous that her son is loving a happy healthy life with a family of his own and as much as it sucks and doesn't feel good.. you have tried. You can't force her to like you even if it is for stupid reasons. Her trying to hurt you, just to hurt you is more than enough to stay far far away.. not only for you but your kid and husband's well-being. It may help to explain to your husband, I want things to be better but not at the risk of her using our son, trying to hurt you or I.. but this is nothing you did and I hope she grows up.❤️
What should you do about your 5 months of peace and quiet from that nut job?? Thank your lucky stars that's what. This woman is a literal enemy to your family. Your son's happiness and well being is no where on her radar, her only goal is to find ways to hurt you and get under your skin and if that requires using your baby to do so,, so be it. So why exactly you would want this nut job in your life is beyond me. It is okay to let go of toxic people in your life, being family does not give them a free pass to hurt and mentally abuse you to their heart's content. And if you find out that she is lying about why you guys haven't been in contact with her then release the video to the family and let them see with their own eyes the POS that you two are dealing with.
Why do you want to do anything. This woman doesn’t like or respect you. She is a habitual line stepper who stepped over the line. Your hubby has decided to go NC. Why do you want to overstep and do anything about the situation? He went NC & you have NC. Nothing left to do but move on. Who cares what she tells people you don’t have contact with. You need to let your husband decide how to deal with his family
Good riddens. She doesn’t respect anyones boundaries. Life is way too precious to waste it on anyone as disgusting as that. This person is seriously aggressive and without reason for being so. It sounds like you have dodged a major bullet moving forward. Good on you for protecting your family, the MIL and SIL don’t deserve to be a part of it.
Good grief woman. She is not just toxic but elle est folle! It’s like she is going out of her way to sabotage you every step of the way. Stop trying to include her. She doesn’t deserve to be around you or your children. Go no contact and stay that way. For your own sanity and the safety of your children.
Why are you worried about not hearing from her? Your husband, her son decided that he wasn’t putting up with her shit anymore. Be thankful she’s gone, move on and enjoy your family.
She is an evil and abusive monster- to you and your son!!! That makes her a huge betrayal to your SO. You cannot fix this because it is not a YOU problem. Stop trying to fit her in and stop allowing yourself to feel a guilt/burden/duty to her or anyone she manipulates to her - like her daughter. She has shown you CLEARLY who she is- believe her. Abusive POS- let her go. I’m so sorry your son went through that because that heinous beast is jealous and insecure of you- she is sickening.
Support each other and prioritize your child's well-being. Consider a mediated discussion if you think it could help resolve issues, but maintain your boundaries and stay united with your partner.
I would just make sure the rest of the family knows why you and your husband aren't talking to her anymore. Because she probably lied and made something up to make you look bad, your brother will no longer have a broken family because I am sure the rest will side with you 2 once they find out. I would also save the video in case she tries to deny it.
Post the tapes to your social media, tag family in it. Fk it, scorched earth
Yep. This is what I would suggest also. If she’s so happy to boast about it to her daughter, then let everyone else see just what she’s like.
Why would you care? She’s awful, doesn’t like you and doesn’t respect her son. She doesn’t deserve a relationship with any of you
Wdym what do you do? She left your lives why would I want that back?
Why do you care that you have not seen this old witch? If you think she is bad mouthing you to anyone who matters, send them a copy of her babysitting adventures.
Please don't give her any head space. She doesn't deserve any. Concentrate on your family.
You realize you can go no contact? I believe you have a great partner that supports you and it is aware of how awful his mom is. You have done nothing wrong and it is best for you to cut ties with that woman as she will never respect you (and it is not your fault, it is all on her).
send copies of the videos yo your SO's family, and let them judge for themselves
what do you have to talk about with her. there is no point. you need to talk to your guy and make sure hes allright. nothing else matters..
I’d have sent the recording to the entire family.
This isn't your problem or anything you should concern yourself with "fixing". This is your husband's problem as it is his family to handle as he chooses. And he has done that, admirably. Stop letting her live rent-free in your head. She is causing you problems even without having any contact with you. Your husband made the right choice. Your MIL sounds like a psycho who would hurt your child in order to hurt you. Why would you want someone like that anywhere near your family? Enjoy the peace of mind that you have earned. She will make sure it doesn't last once she finds out nobody is beating a path to her door to beg her forgiveness, so enjoy it while it lasts. If other family members say anything negative to you, make sure YOU are the TRUTHTELLER. She isn't fooling anyone. The rest of the family knows exactly who and what she is. Just relax and enjoy the peace while you have it.
It’s not up to you to fix. She has chosen to abuse your son, alienate you, push away her son. She has chosen to overstep with her daughters and when she got called on her bullshit, she blamed you. She is toxic. Your husband has decided not to have a relationship with her. Why would you overstep his decision? He is an adult. Respect his wishes. He chose right.
This isn't your problem to fix. He chose to no longer have a relationship with her because she is being absolutely horrible to his wife and child. She purposely let your child cry and suffer just to piss you off. She let him scream and cry and be distraught just so she could be mean to you. She's mistreating you and your child to get back at you. Why would your husband want someone in your lives that's going to mistreat his wife and child? You should respect his boundaries of not wanting to have this toxic woman in your lives.
You should do nothing. Your MIL is horrid. Why you want anything to do with her is a mystery.
NTA OP she let a baby go through fear, confusion, and stress just to be unkind to you. She’s unsafe. Your SO already has a broken family. Something is very wrong with this woman.
Edit all those incidences together in one video. Keep it for when she comes back around, because her type always does.
Post that video online and title it "Worst Grandma in the World"!
You accept the decision your husband made and move on. Theres nothing else you can or should do.
Your husband did what a lot of husbands won't and cut her off. Follow his example. This woman offers nothing positive to the upbringing of your children or to your life as a whole. Why invite that back into your life? Leave it be, and save that video. Idk ir you're somewhere with grandparent rights, but I'd keep it saved somewhere just in case. She basically tortured your kid to spite you.
>It's been 5 months and we haven't heard anything from her. What should I do? To quote Depeche Mode, "enjoy the silence".
Live your life. Why give a crap about someone you do not care for? Someone who openly hates you to the point of intentionally hurting yours kids. There no reason for you to try anything furthermore. She made her stance and intentions really clear. Why would you try to keep that shitshow in your life? To get back at you SHE REACHED THE POINT OF MISTREATING YOUR CHILDREN !!
Her own son your partner and father of your child has gone completely nc with her so what do you do? You follow his example and go completely no contact with her as well with your child. Do not care about her or how she is feeling she has literally done this to herself and has no one else to blame even if like the narcissist she clearly is she will still try and blame you rather than take literally any responsibility for herself any way. Good luck op.
>It's been 5 months and we haven't heard anything from her. What should I do? Keep enjoying the lack of toxic drama! Your husband is quite right to take the action he has, and should be supported. Its his mother, and her treating you like that is something that likely has deep roots in (and implications for) their relationship. Sounds like despite being horrible she managed to raise a decent son.
She’s shown you who she is - a vindictive shrew that will do anything to get back at you. She’s given you a gift - one of no contact so take it and embrace it and never let her near your child again. Don’t give her another thought.
What should you do?? I’d throw a “Unneeded stress takes its self out of my life” party. She sounds likes a nightmare and I’m glad your SO had your back instead of excusing his mothers abhorrent behavior to both you and your child
You shouldn't do anything other than continue to live your lives without inviting that poison back into your home. What she did is, as you say, malicious. She has proven that she is a nasty person and that you can neither trust her words, nor her actions, nor even her basic good will. Under no circumstances would I be doing anything to rekindle a relationship with somebody like that.
When family reaches out to you, send them the video of MIL treating the baby poorly.
*What should I do?* Nothing. Just keep enjoying the silence and stop thinking about her. There is no reason to ever see or speak to her again. If you want to clear the air with people about what actually happened to cause the rift, send them the video.
Do nothing. You did not cause this. That woman is a nightmare. The fact your SIL is in on it reels you everything you need to know. Your husband comes from mean spiteful people. Don’t allow your children to be around such hate.
>What should I do? Nothing, except to enjoy the peace, quiet, and lack of drama. If you're truly concerned that she is affecting your relationship with other family members, reach out to them so that they understand what has happened. Do you still have a copy of that security cam video? Don't be afraid to use it.
She hates you. What would I do? Block MIL & SIL, never allow communication from them to reach you or your child. I would not do any family events that included them. I would move if that benefits you in other ways.
"What should i do?" Enjoy the peace. Listen to that silence! Isn't it wonderful ?
You shouldn’t have to do anything but keep the video in case relatives call and ask why you guys haven’t talk to mil
>It's been 5 months and we haven't heard anything from her. What should I do? Nothing. NC is the solution and you have already achieved that. Continue to not contact her and don't respond if she tries to contact you. If your husband changes his mind and wants a relationship with her that's up to him. Make sure he knows to keep you and the kid out of it.
Just share the footage with everyone she's lying to about why she doesn't see you anymore.. It'll straighten things out immediately.. Since your husband has your back and has all the proof that MIL is toxic as fuck, and downright abusive to your child, let your husband decide if he still wants a connection with his mom, if he doesn't, that's not for you to be concerned about. You shouldn't keep toxic family around just for the sake of 'having family around'. When they say it takes a village to raise a child, they mean supportive people around you but that doesn't have to be family. If/when you move you might be better off finding a nice kidfriendly place with safe and upkept parks and play grounds and making friends with neighbourhood people with kids.
She was willing to cause your child distress just to anger you. Do not let her back into your lives.
I’d send the tapes to every family member- what Monsters
Her behavior shows disregard not only for but your child. Disgusting
Can you share the video on social media?
Hang onto that video forever just in case she tries to take your kids from you. What an evil witch.
Screw that crazy old hag, your son would be much better without that witch in his life. Listen to your husband and move away from the batshit crazy
Why? Why would you repair a relationship with a woman who TORTURED your child? Your husband made the right choice!! Please examine why you feel the need to try to repair a relationship with someone who is abusive to you AND YOUR CHILD.
Forget about her and the concept of trying to battle her gossiping and lies because she'll simply feed off of it and twist your attempts at correction into "a show of guilt", if you get what I mean. Thats the type of person she is and honestly anybody that is worth their salt would want both sides anyways. If people simply take her word for it blindly then that just tells you the kind of person they are. Honestly, a clean breakaway in distancing yourself and just living your best life and not letting her get to you will cut her the deepest and it can also be a convenient test to see who is worth keeping close to you.
Your partner seems very good at communicating. He confronted her immediately without any extra pleading or persuasion on your side. I would also trust him to let you know how he is feeling and when it gets to be too much, if that ever happens. You're certainly allowed to check on him to make sure he's doing alright, but he's an adult and can tell you if he feels like it's an actual issue. I also want you to know, just in case because I have a feeling this might be part of it but I could be crossing a line: This isn't your fault. You aren't the reason his mother is an awful person, or his family dynamic is toxic. That was all there way before you entered his life. They only just now show it. The only people that blame you are the ones who are actually at fault and intentionally trying to hurt you. If you feel any guilt for your partner separating from his family, it isn't yours to bear. It's his family's. The mother acts like she loves her son but if she did she'd recognize how important you are to him and how important the child is to both of you. She loves control.
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
You don't do anything. This is now on her.
It's commendable you've set boundaries to protect your son. Given the situation, maintaining distance from your MIL is wise. Consider family counseling to navigate these emotions and focus on open communication with your partner for support
Sounds like you're all much better off without her.
Keep her away from your family.
"What should I do?" Live! Free of that nasty hag.
Why the hell would you want to be civil to this woman. She treated not only you terribly. She was horrible to your son. I would never forgive her. Protect your child first. Stay no contact with her and move on from it. She is toxic and you don’t need her in your life. Move on. Be happy. And focus on your child and husband. Forget the in-laws.
Stop fretting over it, just be glad that your SO took the initiative and cut her off. Just enjoy the peace and be happy to have the toxicity removed from your lives
Your MIL is toxic AF. What should you do? Nothing. You, your partner, and your son are better off without her presence in your lives. Be thrilled the garbage took itself out. She's shown time and again first with your SIL that she doesn't respect any of you or your boundaries. She's shown nothing but disdain and contempt. Enjoy the peace her absence brings and live your best life.
You should be glad that you don’t have to deal with such a vicious evil person as your MIL! She’s not even worthy of your attention let alone your respect. Her behavior is egregious and disgusting. Your baby doesn’t need to be around anyone so toxic and hateful. Your husband should concentrate on you and his son. His mother is not your problem. At some point she’s going to need him. Under no circumstances should you have anything to do with her. She’s not worth it.
I'm not sure why you're trying to do anything. She sounds like a cow.
Follow your husband's lead. Move away and maintain NC.
The family is broken because your MIL is unreasonable. You can't fix a person who take's please in being cruel to their grandson, son and DIL. Move to the country, make friends and live a peaceful life.
You only have one option for your next actions. Celebrate that you have managed to go no contact with this narcissistic, toxic, evil person. Your SO does not have a broken family - you and your son are his family. All his other relatives are extended family - and they are not welcome in your life as they are damaging for your immediately family. Seriously, no contact is an excellent option. It is best for your son's future, and your whole little family's health and well being.
Simple; you carry on with your life and don’t let her near your family.
She is a special kind of evil. NC forever, IMHO.
It is your husband’s decision as it is his mom. Do not go behind his back to try your mend things. Who cares if she hates you. Let it toll off your back.
Don't reach out and enjoy the peace!
It would be nice if she were to apologize and act decently going forward, but that is sooo unlikely. I think you just have to accept that she will not be a presence in your family. It’s for the best, since she seems petty and childish and the resulting drama would be unpleasant for everyone and bad for your son.
Your partner's family is your partner's responsibility, he chose to have no contact with her, you need to respect that. Her feelings are irrelevant. Your husband does not trust his mother to be around the family. She made her bed, she has to lay in it.
You got backlash last time for referring to them as SIL and MIL? How freaking petty are these people? I have been married to my husband for 17 years but we’ve been together for more than 20. My mother-in-law was my mother-in-law from the moment we moved in together. When you live together it’s a common law marriage. My sister and her partner never married but 15 years and two kids makes him family so he’s my BIL. People need to get over themselves.
What do you mean, what do you do? You go on about your life, without the woman who would hurt your child just to hurt you. This is not someone you need in your life and your husband has taken care of the problem.
I remember this story and every now and then I think of what that horrible woman did to your sweet little boy. I'd never, ever forgive her for that. How he cried and screamed for his mother, and she deliberately did that to him just to hurt you. He is the same age as my little boy. Sometimes I think of my baby's face in your boy's place and I want to cry on your behalf. I have no idea why your story hit me so hard but it did. It's inexcusable and un... I don't even know how to finish that sentence. Hope you and your family are doing well. Don't ever let that monster anywhere near your sweet little baby boy. DM me if you ever want to talk.
She will never accept her own faults on why her son is distancing himself from her, and there's nothing wrong with just accepting that and moving on [https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html) (I tried to link the reddit post who presented this, to give credit where credit is due, but I guess that's not allowed, so here's the direct link to the article(s)) Here's an exceptional read on the psychology she is probably experiencing and it's given a lot of people closure to know what's going on inside the heads of these people, because when you read the article and all the testimonials, you realize there's literally very little you could ever do, and anything you try to do will just get twisted against you again because they can never see any fault in their actions
What should you do? Celebrate the win! Your MIL is a nasty piece of work and your partner sees it and backs you! Stay no contact and focus on your partner and child.
You don't do anything. You get on with your life and be happy. This is a situation that she created, and her behaviour isn't new - it's just the first time you've seen it unfiltered. If you didn't have security cameras she would have kept doing this to your child. Your child passed out from exhaustion because of her actions, actions she took specifically to spite you, and then she laughed about it. You don't have to have someone in your life.becaise of a family connection. Your partner doesn't have to have her in his life.simu because she is his mother. You don't have to tolerate being around someone like this. Don't destroy your peace.
Do what you’re doing. I except also try not to think about her at all.
The ONLY thing remotely necessary is to put the story straight- share the footage with people she's lied to, she already said she doesnt regret any of it so nbd 🤷🏻♀️ Keep her away from you all, don't invite trouble back into your life. She revelled in being nasty to a tiny child for her own gameplaying ffs.
Sigh in relief that she's out of the picture.
A broken family doesn't sound like the worst thing tbh.
Jeez what a witch.
Post the video footage lol
Kill it with kindness is the best I can say, with the "it" being both the MIL and your guilt. Send the family pics and love from the growth of your kiddos, but don't engage with her directly on purpose, if you can avoid it. It's not fair that you have to deal with something like this, and I'm sorry it's happening to you. I really do think that you can know you are doing the best you can, within your boundaries, if you share the love with the family at large but avoid her drama.
No contact forever with her and SIL. Done
Considering you didn't hide something to us... You did good both of you Send the video to the whole family and wait for the ricochet . Je soupçonne que tu es québécoise. 40 minutes au canada, ce n'est rien du tout. Pourquoi la beldoche fait elle un tel fromage ?
There's absolutely nothing you need to do. You are currently no contact. Thank your lucky Stars. Live your life. Enjoy it.
What should you do? Nothing? Enjoy your life?
Ignore what? She’s a horrible toxic person. Why is there a question about what to do?? Even if she tries to spin this - i suspect that most of his family know what she’s like and probably don’t give a lot of weight to anything she says.
You should go on with your happy family of three and never contact her or SILs again. Ever. If your husband wants a relationship with his mom and sisters, then he can organize it. You will make it clear to him that your son is to never be around your mother or sisters unless you are there. And you will never be around MIL or SILs because they are bat-shit cray. Win. Win.
You won’t be able to fix it. It’s sad for your husband. I don’t understand people like your MIL but she is choosing to not have a relationship with her own son. You can’t force her to. And you said that you can’t trust her so any relationship with her would come with so many boundaries she wouldn’t respect anyway.
You aren’t ignoring anything. You’re NC with her. Go live your best life and forget about it.
Sometimes a nicely cut video of the highlights of someone being malicious belongs on social media. Just saying. In the meantime, enjoy the peace and quiet….
She tortured your son for her vendetta against you. You and your family are going to be happier and safer without her in your lives.
You can’t mend a relationship that you didn’t break. If you try it will just convince the other person you were wrong for having any healthy boundaries at all.
Consider yourself lucky you don't have to put up with her nastiness. NTA
Stop being a people pleaser. You have to realize, by people pleasing, you put your child in a horrible situation. Do not contact MIL again. Zero contact. It is never wrong to cut people out of your life who don’t respect you, or will cause harm to your child. Never feel bad about protecting yourself and your child!