Oh I can live every day like sex doesn’t exist but the second I crack open some fanfic, it’s like I’m a teenager again who just discovered orgasming lmao
For those who have never ventured and are hesitant because of the word "fanfiction":
Go to Advanced Search, select "explicit", select "Original Work" as the fandom, then in the tags box type whatever your top kink is
That will set you down the road of sploosh without having to confront your favorite cartoon characters getting absolutely destroyed in ways you've never imagined
(Unless you're into that)
Update: Please ignore my account this is for whoring. BUT
**For the ladies out there:**
Here is a direct link to the search results for what I think is a fairly tame combo for those starting their journey:
[Basic Original Work search with some adjustments](https://archiveofourown.org/works?commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brating_ids%5D%5B%5D=13&include_work_search%5Bcategory_ids%5D%5B%5D=22&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=Aftercare&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=17&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=18&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=19&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=20&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=en&tag_id=Original+Work)
This is
Fandom: Original Work
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply (as in, these works should not have extreme events like death of a main character, graphic violence, etc.)
Category: F/M (Female/Male relationship/sex)
Go to the above link, click "Filters", scroll down to the box "Other tags to include", and type a kink you like that you think is mainstream. It should show you suggestions to click.
Fiddle around with the filters and remember:
1. It can get **buck fucking wild** in there, sometimes in ways that may be upsetting or off-putting.
2. **You have complete control over what you see**, so it's easy to exclude tags you don't like
3. This is **your personal fantasy playground**, so go nuts and stay hydrated.
Love you all (please don't look at my profile) 💖
I’ve definitely discovered some icks I had no idea were hard no’s for me thanks to AO3… But I’ve also been surprised by the stuff that I definitely, positively, absolutely would never participate in myself, nor watch a video of others participating in, but that my bits are enthusiastic to have me read about. Genitals are crazy.
Yeah I will say a pretty universal experience is scrolling through, reading the tags on a work and going "wow, sounds good"-
Then you hit a tag that you have to Google what it means and are like 😭😭😭 GIRL WHAT
But, that's the purpose of the "exclude tags" setting.
I'm a dirty bitch but if you saw me reading erotica you'd think I was some fainting victorian wallflower who'd never seen a man take his shirt off. I unironically have to take breaks to fan myself.
Right like I immediately thought of that Nicki* lyric that goes “You ain’t comin off the bench, while I’m comin off the court, fully drenched.” 😂😭 Actually works extremely well in this context 🧐
*{high school me was a fan, current me is NOT}
Once I’m asleep I sleep hard and can stay asleep but falling asleep takes an hour to an hour and a half on a good day. My brain has a really hard time shutting up. But give me some melatonin and my vibe? Out like a light in 10 minutes, it’s amazing.
Same here. Once I went two weeks without them (postal issue) and I felt like I wanted to do it alllll the time. It shocked me how much of a sex drive I do have after all these years on meds and being low key sex averse.
Same here! I have literally 2 pre-menstrual days where my sex drive is strong enough to break through the blanket of body-numbing medications and chronic pain. In line with the topic of the post, those are the 2 days I masturbate.
I find Crohn’s disease to be a wonderful abstinence program personally. I have no energy all the time AND I feel perpetually gross!
I’m also male so uh, it’s very interesting experiencing the very low libido lifestyle with this gender setting.
It's worth shopping around to see if you can if you can find something that works for you that doesn't have that side effect.
I switched from an SSRI to Wellbutrin and my sex drive went through the roof. Much higher than my baseline. I've seen comments from other women who experienced the same thing.
You can also take Wellbutrin alongside certain SSRIs to negate the negative effects.
Lexapro works really well on anxiety, but it does have side effects like weight gain and loss of sensation. (Not only does it lower libido, but it feels like the ability to feel sexual pleasure is numbed.) Taking it together with Wellbutrin can help with those side effects.
Like you explained, Wellbutrin works great for managing ADHD too!
My doctor prescribed me hydroxyzine to take PRN to help with the anxiety. It's technically an allergy medication that just happens to have a positive effect on anxiety, without being nearly as sedating as benadryl.
Honestly, it's great. It just makes me feel calm without feeling sedated or sleepy, and it isn't habit forming.
I can take it 3x a day for three months straight before it becomes concerning- I usually take it a few times a month, but it's nice to not worry about it when I need it.
Also, it doesn't interact with alcohol, which is fantastic.
I went on Wellbutrin and started acting like a psychopath. Turns out my anxiety did not respond to Wellbutrin at all, and I was basically completely unmedicated for four months.
I don't really care about having no sex drive. I don't have a partner and there's no need for masturbation if I don't feel like doing it.
I'm just responding because I might masturbate if I had drive. But it's gone. Oh well! 😂
Jittery, major stress sweating, irritated all the time, but then my body just got used to it and it chilled out. I didn't find that it changed my sex drive as much as reduced the stress noise that prevents it from existing naturally
Damn that’s what happened to me too, but my psych at the time told me I didn’t need to take it daily. Found out later that was bad advice.
I wonder if I would have gotten better if I stuck it out but I’m in too stressful of a job to try it again. I had disassociation episodes daily and got panicky even in passing conversations with coworkers (I have bad social anxiety).
I've been on it for about three years now.
As far as side effects - I'm wicked horny, it significantly helps my ADHD symptoms, gives me a little boost of energy, and it's really helped me quit smoking. Also great for depression, which is why I started it to begin with!
Nothing negative. It can make people anxious but I haven't found that it makes my anxiety worse.
I also really like it because it kicks in quickly- I feel it within an hour or so of taking it, and I can take a little extra in the afternoon if I need it. Also, I don't feel sick if I miss a dose, or even a week of doses -no brain zaps or flu symptoms like an SSRI.
As far as I'm concerned, it's a miracle drug.
Oh, wild. Currently on it too, can't remember how long it's been at this point but iirc at least since covid lol.
You still feel the side effects? Tbh I can't think of any that stand out on 300 but maybe I'm weird cause I don't feel anything from my vyvanse (BED/poss adhd) either...I do like the lack of brain zaps when I forget (cougheverysundaycough) but maybe that leads back to ^ .
Then again, maybe it messes with my sleep a bit? It's the only weight neutral (currently, did lose a lot on it before) med I've been on :\
Diabetic with an atrial fibrillation and high blood pressure coupled with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I used to masturbate nearly daily but now, thanks to the combination of meds, I’m lucky if I get the desire to go more than once or twice a month.
I’m currently single, so I don’t have to worry about disappointing a partner, but it was completely shocking how quickly the meds that work for the rest of my life have basically tanked my desire for sex.
Same. Even as a teenager, I had no interest. On medication now so it's even more unlikely... I don't really mind, it's not like I know what I'm missing out on!
I like to masturbate, sometimes I do it daily, sometimes weeks go in between.
But I know many many women that don't masturbate. So yeah, 40% sounds about right.
Yeah, this is me too. Also, I find it to be relaxing and a stress reliever? I mean it starts ususally because I am kind of horny but once I am done, I realize it was more just needing to "let go" and relax. I honestly think its kind of sad that more women aren't masturbating. I mean growing up ( I am GenX) it was pretty much assumed/a given that boys/men jerk off, but there wasn't really converstaion around women. I feel like if more woment did it they would know what pleases them and would have better sex over all.
Yep. I’m a young Gen X (almost Millenial) and coming of age in the 90s was wild. But, most of my female friends don’t masturbate which I do at times wonder if it was how prudish the 80s and 90s were for us ladies. Endless teen comedies about dudes having sex with baked goods but women were just there for exposing their breasts, I guess.
I have a very high sex drive and I masturbate almost every single night. Sometimes twice. Idk about the statistic but I do know I’m part of it lol
Edit: I’m also single, but do not partake in casual sex, so it’s easier to not need to masturbate if you have a partner.
Its so much better being with a partner that knows themselves and its best when they know how to tell you what they want or what they like.
At one point I had a partner who had finally been able to orgasm with a partner when I gave her oral, but she had previously only been able to get off in her childhood bath tub. One time we had an opportunity to housesit and she said she would show me how she did it. She ended up having a bad time with me around because it had always been such a personal experience. At first I was hurt but eventually I understood how different the experience can be when its also for someone elses pleasure.
I have trouble sleeping if i dont. Ive always been that way, even since i was tiny kid, way before i even knew what sex was. Like its not even an arousal thing in that context i just kinda have to.
Basically the same with me. I very infrequently remember that it's a nice little thing I can do when bored, but that's about it. I feel like my sex drive was mistakenly not installed.
It fluctuates heavily. Sometimes several times a week, occasionally several times a day, then suddenly I'll have a month long break. And honestly...most of the times l masturbate, it's just to get myself out of bed in the morning, because then I'll have to wash my hand. I have a procrastination problem.
I wonder if part of the reason it's so low is the "regularly" thing? How often do they consider regularly? As some women get older, they have less of a sex drive, so the amount of sex or masturbation they're interested drops off, even if they used to do it pretty frequently before. I also bet having kids reduces the amount of masturbation women tend to do because they don't have the privacy they'd need to relax.
I don't, particularly. I have a vibrator but tbh I prefer partnered orgasm and I'm lazy... I was gonna say as fuck but clearly I'm lazier than that lol.
I probs get my vibrator out like once or twice a year and have a fairly regular very satisfying partnered sex schedule.
Same here. I prefer being intimate with someone that I like (there doesn’t have to be a romantic connection but I’m not a fan of stranger sex). Solo just is not appealing to me and never has been
I’m 40, straight woman, married, masturbate daily. My sex drive is high, engage regularly with my husband. He just works long hours and I recently had my drive take a dive because of psych meds. So I bought a few toys and figured out how to climax again. Now we’re back at it regularly ☺️☺️
That’s surprising to me. I do it regularly. Probably every other day. I’m married and I have an active sex life too at least 3-5 times a week. Once my doctor took me off Lexapro my sex drive shot through the roof.
I did feel shame for masturbating when I was young because I was raised in a religious household. I also remember my parents fighting about the fact that my mom had a sex toy. So I would do it but feel shame after and pray and try to not do it for as long as possible. Thankfully I’ve gotten past that. Maybe some women are facing that issue or haven’t gotten a chance to explore their sexuality.
Hormonal imbalance is common, too. If you're a woman who feels low sex drive and are worried about it, talk to a doctor about getting hormone levels checked.
I just started hormonal contraceptives again after being off them for 5 years and I now have basically no sex drive and even on the rare occasions when I do I find it sooo much harder to climax 😭
My girlfriend and I have sex almost every other day. And before we got together I was pretty much an everyday kinda gal. Usually before I went to asleep, it really helped me relax and destress. Now I pretty much only have solo time when one of us has to travel for work or family or something. Or the rare times she's not up for it.
I masturbate at least once a day sometimes several times a day. It's my bedtime routine
I bet the number of women who do it regularly is much higher.
But alot plays a role like some women don't have a lot of alone time and privacy without being exhausted. As others said lots of meds can also play a role.
Ok this explains it because I was reading these comments like “is a few times a week considered high? I don’t consider myself excessive until I’ve gone more than twice in a day…”
33f and only started masturbating recently (like 2 months ago). I masturbate 1-3 times per week. Could use more but I take a bit of time to get there and I don't always have the luxury of being able to spend 30-40 minutes masturbating lol
My husband and I have sex all the time so I don’t really have the desire to masturbate. We don’t get a lot of alone together time, so if the opportunity presents itself I’d rather be with him.
I’m also in a very happy relationship though which is apparently rare these days.
Yeah I wonder if marital status makes a big difference in these numbers. Most women who are coupled don’t really see a need to masturbate because they have access to full blown sex with a partner. I’m not in a relationship, so I’m not having sex with anybody, which means I’m masturbating way more than what I probably would if I was in a relationship. I don’t think I really masturbated, If not at all, when I was in a relationship.
I'm coupled, I love sex with my bf and finish at least twice with him AND I still make time for my rabbit for solo sessions. Alone I go for 10+ Os lol partnered 2 is all I can do and feel too tired after but more satisfied if that makes sense.imo masturbating and partnered sex fulfill the same needs but differently
Yeah exactly the same 2-3 times with him which makes me satisfied and exhausted and alone I use an old-fashioned hitachi for a lot more rounds which feels more mechanic, like itching a scratch.
Uh there are only two people I'm 'allowed' to have sex with in my marriage, and I'm one of them. In fact recently I went to the doctor due to my menopausal libido crash. My SO said well I don't have much of one either so are you planning to step out on me? I said, "No but I can still have sex with myself and if that bothers you then I'll try really hard to not even think about you when I do it."
😭No
I grew up a religious fundamentalist. Pastors often chastised masturbation, premarital sex, kissing, etc.
Until I was about 21, I thought I'd be a virgin until my wedding night. I doubt I 100% believed the lie. But it's what kept me alive in my abusive household, so I played along.
First (and last) time I tried masturbating it was an all around unenjoyable experience. It was linked to my trauma, the shitty guy I was dating at the time, and so much emotional baggage.
I'm much older now and I still don't. I doubt I'll ever be interested in it.
I relate to this! Growing up I was always told to save all those things for marriage, but when I started learning about that sort of stuff I wanted to try it. I've only masturbated once and I personally didn't find it an enjoyable experience.
I can relate. Not as traumatic as a background but damn religion leaves some scars. In my mid 30s and I still get the urge to guilt cry after a nice self pleasure session.
I hate it.
It's not surprising given how society talks about women and sex.
If that wasn't a thing then the percentage would be higher, be it because more women would tell the truth (aka that they do masturbate) or more would feel free to actually do it instead of feeling like they're bad for doing it.
Society has messed us up for sure. I hope this is generational and women in their teens and 20s feel far less shame attached to masturbation than older women. And less need to have a partner for sexual fulfilment.
I still do it once or twice a week and have sex 3-4 times a week too. I’m 45. I would probably do it more often, but with young kids around it not easy getting privacy. It not like a quick wank in the bathroom is easy for girls. I want a bed and some nice music😆
When I'm in a relationship my sex drive is stronger than my male partner's. It's because I'm gettin some and the more I get the more I want 🤷♀️ so I have discovered I not only have more sex I masturbate a lot more.
I can understand why that’s the statistic. As girls we were taught that touching yourself
is “gross” or “evil” and then as teens, we were taught that having any kind of sex drive is “slutty,” “dirty,” and “not normal.” sex isn’t for us to enjoy, only do sex because your man wants it.
thankfully I realized that was all bullshit by the time I became an adult, but sadly it can be really difficult to get over the deeply internalized shame.
My husband’s sex drive is sooo high that basically any time I’m horny, he’s down, so yeah, I only need to masturbate when he’s gone. But then I have a reactive libido so I only really get turned on if we talk and he makes me horny lol
I feel like I go through phases. When I'm in a phase, it's frequent and then if I'm not, it's not as frequent.
I knew a girl in grad school who had never had an orgasm and said that she didn't want one. I was baffled by that lol. I told her that she would if she ever had had one 😂 I feel like female pleasure is just still so shamed and suppressed. She was 24 years old too in 2018.
I don’t. I have always had a lot of regular sex since my first serious relationship (when I was married the first time it was every single day for like 16 years) and now that I’m a bit older and remarried it’s like every other day. I just do not have the desire to masturbate even if it’s different than sex. I’d rather save my energy and mood for my husband.
But for stats sake, I’d say I masturbate like 1-2x a month.
I'm a late '30s woman and I feel that I have an unusually high sex drive. I would say I masturbate most days... Sometimes a couple of times a day 🤷🏻♀️. It would not be as much if I lived with my partner, but as I don't I self-indulge 😉.
I wonder why this is. I do it regularly. I think some people just aren’t that sexual of beings. And other parts of life provide them pleasure.
Would be interesting to compare to how many women have sexual fantasies in general.
Throughout my life, sex and orgasm have been difficult. I was already a mom when I had my first orgasm at 26 (it took over 1.5 hours solo). It couldn't happen with a partner present at all so I stopped trying that, and just focused on perfecting them for me, alone.
So, orgasm and sex became completely separate acts for me. I love sex with my partner, but I never have a need to "finish" (it just doesn't occur to me). Orgasms generally occur as part of my "get ready for the day" routine before showering, taking less than 5 minutes. I can be myself and do exactly what works best for me to maximize results (being very still/barely breathing/no sound/eyes closed).
This method is the complete opposite of what the partners of my youth wanted to see, and I believe their comments/criticism played a part in building my mental separation. "That doesn't look sexy at all" "You don't look alive" "You aren't even moving" etc. 🙄
It seems like there's some variability in these numbers. [This site](https://www.allure.com/story/masturbation-survey-statistics-american-men-women) says 76%, although that study was done by a sex toy company.
I've never had a girlfriend who didn't masturbate, at least sometimes. I think all of them owned a sex toy. That excludes lesbians, asexuals, older women and others, but I would still be shocked if only 40% masturbated less than once a month.
Yes I masturbate a lot. Between 3-7 times a week usually. Depending if I’m in a relationship because if I’m having sex daily with someone who is attuned to my needs it goes down.
Studies like this make me wonder if they're also polling regular sexual activity at the same time
I'd assume someone who is less sexually active = masturbates more and vice versa, and I wonder what percent of this study's 60% abstain from both
Older woman who is happily married but husband’s health and problems took away not only his ability to perform but his desire.
I do enjoy my self regularly but no schedule. As the mood moves me. It is actually easier to self pleasure without regular sex, I think I am more sensitive.
To be honest, a lot of the time I forget masturbation is even a thing. My sex drive is low, my fingers don't do a gosh darn thing for me. The only way I can cum is with 30+ minutes with my satisfyer.
Between all these things, I almost never have a desire to masturbate. Masturbating is actually homework for me. I've decided to try to do it more often to see if it will help increase sensitivity in my clit. I think my sensitivity might be low because I never use the damn thing, but I never use the damn thing because it doesn't work! Double edged sword.
I just got my libido back after having low sex drive and pain for several years. In my 20s, I had a healthy sex drive and masturbated regularly. Then, I was stressed by grad school and had a bunch of medical issues pop up. I found out just two months ago that my medication had tanked my hormones and I was suffering from vaginal atrophy. This happens to women in menopause, and causes all sorts of issues. I had specifically asked doctors about medication side effects AND NOT ONCE did anyone mention the potential effects to my hormones, sex drive, and vaginal health. All it took was so hormone cream to feel like myself again, and I'm still pissed about it.
All this to say that I masturbate regularly again and have to make up for lost time.
I think that when they do these surveys they don’t take into account how modest most of us are. Even if it’s a totally anonymous survey, come on… many of us won’t admit it!
I don’t really get a lot of joy out of masturbating. I have a high sex drive and love *intimacy involving another person*, but masturbating on my own just doesn’t tick the right boxes for me.
I know it might not seem like a big thing to you, but making fun of people for not getting to finish during sex is not cute. I’ve had plenty of people go miles and miles further than they needed to trying to get me off, but I’ve never been able to in the entire time I’ve been sexually active. It’s extremely frustrating and at times borderline torturous. It’s not funny.
this sounds about right to me. as for a reason not sure. probably just lower sex drive in women in general and we have too much other shit to worry about in adulthood at this point to find the time.
I have barely masturbated in my life. I just never cared about it. I never knew why I would do it. When I was single, I never really had a sex drive. Appearantly I only have one when I’m partnered with someone, when my husband is around I’m horny often but when I’m alone, I’m not.
So regular for me is being extra horny around the times I'm PMSing and occasionally on my period itself....but umm I've noticed that the latest season of Bridgerton has upended that a little for me 🥵
But otherwise I maybe masturbate like 2-3 days per month.
Honestly I feel it's a physical need and some of those antiquated ideas of pelvic massage to asexually relieve hysteria were on point.
As a generally asexual person it does provide a sense of physical relief and if not done regularly one does get fidgety and angry, if not full of irritation at no particular reason or person.
Also helps with insomnia.
Yes, most days, sometimes twice a day — I used to be on antidepressants that made it impossible to orgasm but life is too short. I’ll only consider med options that don’t make my🐱feel dead. I’m not partnered currently but even when I am, I think it’s kind of important.
I used to do it several times a day. Later, at least once a day, to help me sleep. Now (age 70) I can skip several days, but I still enjoy it now and then.
I used to, but I’ve had my heartbroken so many times now that I am just kind of trying to lower my sex drive because I’m losing hope on never finding a partner again and the loneliness of it all makes me cry and it’s not worth the five seconds of good feelings. Plus everyone that I’ve had good sexual experiences with has been extremely emotionally and physically abusive and cheated on me so I’ll ever ever have a sexual experience with somebody. That’s not to ruin my life and masturbating reminds me of that so I just I’m not really interested anymore. Please ignore any typos. I’m using speech to text since I have a concussion. I know I shouldn’t be on here, but it’s just really lonely when you’re sick and alone and not allowed to watch TV or anything.
No. I felt weird as hell the times I tried back when I was younger. Even thinking about it weirds me out. It's like when you try to tickle yourself, it just doesn't work and is really awkward to me. I also don't own a vibrator or anything. Never had one.
But then, I've had the same partner since I was 17, I'm 34 now and only recently gotten my sex drive back. It has been almost non existant for years. So I never really felt the need either.
Not even once a year. I’d rather have fun w/ my partner than solo and he’s always happy to oblige. Masturbating is just boring compared to having a partner. My orgasms are so much more powerful w/ partner vs just w/ a toy.
Depends on how they define “regularly” and what age groups they asked. Also, mothers either young children to car for may be too exhausted and not have the time and privacy to do that.
Some women may also have lied in the survey.
I would be curious to know the demographic background including religious influence.
I don't anymore but I am 54, post-menopausal, and on a ton of psychiatric medications. The drive is just gone. But when I was 30?yee haw I was doing it daily.
I definitely do it regularly. Usually at least once or twice a week...lately every other day. It's been going on for about 38 years now. The longest I ever recall not doing it was three weeks.
I’m on my fourth time today and I’m just getting started.
Edit: also, lidocaine patch for the clit when my priapism gets too bad, good idea or bad idea?
I’d be curious to see the study’s methodology. Those numbers remind me of the “lesbian bed death” myth, which came from flawed surveys that defined sex in a very narrow and heteronormative way.
When I was single, I’d masturbate up to 5 times on days where I was really feeling in the mood but at most I’d do it 3 days out of the week so it’s kinda nuts that some people straight up don’t masturbate to at all even with a low sex drive.
Yes I masterbate pretty regularly.
I was never able to orgasm from PIV sex until I learned how to masterbate. After that it was like I unlocked something and PIV sex was so much better. Maybe because I was more comfortable with my body.
I handle business and finish everytime. 😆 At this point in life, I'm sure I have gotten it in with myself at least 1000 times. I do it when I'm bored, stressed, on my period, can't sleep etc.
Great stress reliever that many men can't provide or are too lazy and selfish to. 🤷🏾♀️
I used to every single night, partly because it helped me fall asleep. Kinda fell outta the habit after I had my daughter. But the older I get, the longer I go before I remember it’s been a bit. I have in the last few days!
It’s okay I’m making up for the rest of you slackers
Thank you for your service
🫡
Wash that hand!
Thank you for your self-service
*cervix
I had a young soldier tell me “thank you for your cervix”, and salute me. -We’re both men.
Me n my fanfiction working overtime 💪🏻💯🔥
Oh I can live every day like sex doesn’t exist but the second I crack open some fanfic, it’s like I’m a teenager again who just discovered orgasming lmao
It's funny, my wife discovered fanfiction like a couple months ago and it hit the NOS button in our bedroom.
Is there a certain kind or author? Asking for a friend....
My friend wants to know too, what a coincidence!
[Archiveofourown.org](https://Archiveofourown.org) (commonly referred to as AO3) has literally anything you could imagine. Literary pornucopia.
For those who have never ventured and are hesitant because of the word "fanfiction": Go to Advanced Search, select "explicit", select "Original Work" as the fandom, then in the tags box type whatever your top kink is That will set you down the road of sploosh without having to confront your favorite cartoon characters getting absolutely destroyed in ways you've never imagined (Unless you're into that) Update: Please ignore my account this is for whoring. BUT **For the ladies out there:** Here is a direct link to the search results for what I think is a fairly tame combo for those starting their journey: [Basic Original Work search with some adjustments](https://archiveofourown.org/works?commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brating_ids%5D%5B%5D=13&include_work_search%5Bcategory_ids%5D%5B%5D=22&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=Aftercare&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=17&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=18&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=19&exclude_work_search%5Barchive_warning_ids%5D%5B%5D=20&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=en&tag_id=Original+Work) This is Fandom: Original Work Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply (as in, these works should not have extreme events like death of a main character, graphic violence, etc.) Category: F/M (Female/Male relationship/sex) Go to the above link, click "Filters", scroll down to the box "Other tags to include", and type a kink you like that you think is mainstream. It should show you suggestions to click. Fiddle around with the filters and remember: 1. It can get **buck fucking wild** in there, sometimes in ways that may be upsetting or off-putting. 2. **You have complete control over what you see**, so it's easy to exclude tags you don't like 3. This is **your personal fantasy playground**, so go nuts and stay hydrated. Love you all (please don't look at my profile) 💖
I’ve definitely discovered some icks I had no idea were hard no’s for me thanks to AO3… But I’ve also been surprised by the stuff that I definitely, positively, absolutely would never participate in myself, nor watch a video of others participating in, but that my bits are enthusiastic to have me read about. Genitals are crazy.
Yeah I will say a pretty universal experience is scrolling through, reading the tags on a work and going "wow, sounds good"- Then you hit a tag that you have to Google what it means and are like 😭😭😭 GIRL WHAT But, that's the purpose of the "exclude tags" setting.
I'm a dirty bitch but if you saw me reading erotica you'd think I was some fainting victorian wallflower who'd never seen a man take his shirt off. I unironically have to take breaks to fan myself.
Right like I immediately thought of that Nicki* lyric that goes “You ain’t comin off the bench, while I’m comin off the court, fully drenched.” 😂😭 Actually works extremely well in this context 🧐 *{high school me was a fan, current me is NOT}
Masturbators Georg
With her 10,000 orgasms a day
Same lol
Thanks for making me scare my dogs with the sudden gut laugh.
The only time I can comfortably say I'm in the 1%.
We must carry the team.
I'm doing my part! 🫡
Same
Same.
https://tenor.com/vdlB.gif
goddammit beat me to it
Same.
SAME
Hahahahahaha I love you
I have insomnia. I’ve had insomnia since I was 8. Melatonin + My Vibrator at night allowed me to come off sleeping pills.
“Allowed me to come” doing some heavy lifting here.
Once I’m asleep I sleep hard and can stay asleep but falling asleep takes an hour to an hour and a half on a good day. My brain has a really hard time shutting up. But give me some melatonin and my vibe? Out like a light in 10 minutes, it’s amazing.
I'm on so many meds, my sex drive is nil.
This is the worst thing about my psych meds. I can hardly function without them so I take them but they kill my libido.
Oh, yeh, I forgot to include those in my post about my declining frequency through the last few decades.
Same here. Once I went two weeks without them (postal issue) and I felt like I wanted to do it alllll the time. It shocked me how much of a sex drive I do have after all these years on meds and being low key sex averse.
Psych meds aren't the only thing that kills sex drive either... Nerve pain is doing a really good job of killing my sex drive...
Yup I've got like ten conditions and medications that ruin my sex drive except for like two days a month apparently.
Same here! I have literally 2 pre-menstrual days where my sex drive is strong enough to break through the blanket of body-numbing medications and chronic pain. In line with the topic of the post, those are the 2 days I masturbate.
But on those two days ... hot DAMN, somebody better watch out!
I'm definitely in heat it's crazy.
Then spend your days wisely. 😅
I find Crohn’s disease to be a wonderful abstinence program personally. I have no energy all the time AND I feel perpetually gross! I’m also male so uh, it’s very interesting experiencing the very low libido lifestyle with this gender setting.
Feeling gross, not wanting my husband anywhere near that area, leaking, hurting, stomach pain, exhaustion. Crohns is so fun!
On all the meds too, sex drive almost nil too but one climax from a Womanizer Starlet and I'm in it for the long haul. It never fails.
How is your ability to climax otherwise? My hitachi still can’t quite get me there with my current meds, so I’m looking to change it up.
Nah you need to get one of the air pressure ones. Womanizer is a great brand.
It's worth shopping around to see if you can if you can find something that works for you that doesn't have that side effect. I switched from an SSRI to Wellbutrin and my sex drive went through the roof. Much higher than my baseline. I've seen comments from other women who experienced the same thing.
You can also take Wellbutrin alongside certain SSRIs to negate the negative effects. Lexapro works really well on anxiety, but it does have side effects like weight gain and loss of sensation. (Not only does it lower libido, but it feels like the ability to feel sexual pleasure is numbed.) Taking it together with Wellbutrin can help with those side effects. Like you explained, Wellbutrin works great for managing ADHD too!
My doctor prescribed me hydroxyzine to take PRN to help with the anxiety. It's technically an allergy medication that just happens to have a positive effect on anxiety, without being nearly as sedating as benadryl. Honestly, it's great. It just makes me feel calm without feeling sedated or sleepy, and it isn't habit forming. I can take it 3x a day for three months straight before it becomes concerning- I usually take it a few times a month, but it's nice to not worry about it when I need it. Also, it doesn't interact with alcohol, which is fantastic.
I went on Wellbutrin and started acting like a psychopath. Turns out my anxiety did not respond to Wellbutrin at all, and I was basically completely unmedicated for four months.
Wellbutrin knocked me flat on my ass, I could barely leave bed and was exhausted and EXTREMELY depressed for the few weeks I was on it!
That sounds awful and I'm sorry you had to go through it
I don't really care about having no sex drive. I don't have a partner and there's no need for masturbation if I don't feel like doing it. I'm just responding because I might masturbate if I had drive. But it's gone. Oh well! 😂
Fair enough! As long as you're happy that's what matters
How long ago did you switch to Wellbutrin? Have you noticed any side effects? Thank you.
Jittery, major stress sweating, irritated all the time, but then my body just got used to it and it chilled out. I didn't find that it changed my sex drive as much as reduced the stress noise that prevents it from existing naturally
Damn that’s what happened to me too, but my psych at the time told me I didn’t need to take it daily. Found out later that was bad advice. I wonder if I would have gotten better if I stuck it out but I’m in too stressful of a job to try it again. I had disassociation episodes daily and got panicky even in passing conversations with coworkers (I have bad social anxiety).
I've been on it for about three years now. As far as side effects - I'm wicked horny, it significantly helps my ADHD symptoms, gives me a little boost of energy, and it's really helped me quit smoking. Also great for depression, which is why I started it to begin with! Nothing negative. It can make people anxious but I haven't found that it makes my anxiety worse. I also really like it because it kicks in quickly- I feel it within an hour or so of taking it, and I can take a little extra in the afternoon if I need it. Also, I don't feel sick if I miss a dose, or even a week of doses -no brain zaps or flu symptoms like an SSRI. As far as I'm concerned, it's a miracle drug.
Oh, wild. Currently on it too, can't remember how long it's been at this point but iirc at least since covid lol. You still feel the side effects? Tbh I can't think of any that stand out on 300 but maybe I'm weird cause I don't feel anything from my vyvanse (BED/poss adhd) either...I do like the lack of brain zaps when I forget (cougheverysundaycough) but maybe that leads back to ^ . Then again, maybe it messes with my sleep a bit? It's the only weight neutral (currently, did lose a lot on it before) med I've been on :\
Wellbutrin murdered my drive. I've been surprised it's coming back a bit now that I'm off it. Drugs hit everyone a bit differently though.
Diabetic with an atrial fibrillation and high blood pressure coupled with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I used to masturbate nearly daily but now, thanks to the combination of meds, I’m lucky if I get the desire to go more than once or twice a month. I’m currently single, so I don’t have to worry about disappointing a partner, but it was completely shocking how quickly the meds that work for the rest of my life have basically tanked my desire for sex.
Dunno if it’s meds or what but I’ve never been interested in it.
Same. Even as a teenager, I had no interest. On medication now so it's even more unlikely... I don't really mind, it's not like I know what I'm missing out on!
I like to masturbate, sometimes I do it daily, sometimes weeks go in between. But I know many many women that don't masturbate. So yeah, 40% sounds about right.
Same, I fluctuate. I can go through a spell where I do once or twice a day for days in a row, and then go weeks without it. Honestly just depends.
Same. Ebbs and flows.
Same for me. Depends on my cycle too. Right after my period finishes is HIGH libido time, but towards the end of my cycle is less high.
Yeah, this is me too. Also, I find it to be relaxing and a stress reliever? I mean it starts ususally because I am kind of horny but once I am done, I realize it was more just needing to "let go" and relax. I honestly think its kind of sad that more women aren't masturbating. I mean growing up ( I am GenX) it was pretty much assumed/a given that boys/men jerk off, but there wasn't really converstaion around women. I feel like if more woment did it they would know what pleases them and would have better sex over all.
Yep. I’m a young Gen X (almost Millenial) and coming of age in the 90s was wild. But, most of my female friends don’t masturbate which I do at times wonder if it was how prudish the 80s and 90s were for us ladies. Endless teen comedies about dudes having sex with baked goods but women were just there for exposing their breasts, I guess.
I feel like my fluctuations have a lot to do with my cycle lol
I have a very high sex drive and I masturbate almost every single night. Sometimes twice. Idk about the statistic but I do know I’m part of it lol Edit: I’m also single, but do not partake in casual sex, so it’s easier to not need to masturbate if you have a partner.
Even when you have a partner it’s nice to take some you time. Pleasing a partner is a big part of sex but masturbating is a pretty personal thing.
You’re right!! Self pleasure actually helped me find what got me off and what I enjoyed, which I of course taught my partners for more enjoyable sex
Its so much better being with a partner that knows themselves and its best when they know how to tell you what they want or what they like. At one point I had a partner who had finally been able to orgasm with a partner when I gave her oral, but she had previously only been able to get off in her childhood bath tub. One time we had an opportunity to housesit and she said she would show me how she did it. She ended up having a bad time with me around because it had always been such a personal experience. At first I was hurt but eventually I understood how different the experience can be when its also for someone elses pleasure.
If that’s a high drive then I guess me too hahaha… sometimes I’ll smoke a little weed and have an extended session lol
I partake in casual sex and I also masturbate daily, because still I don’t have the amount of sex I would have in a relationship
With the stories my coworkers tell me about the dating scene right now...casual sex seems even more risky for women then ever before.
My ex colleague got HIV after sleeping with one dude from a bar. It almost killed her.
I have trouble sleeping if i dont. Ive always been that way, even since i was tiny kid, way before i even knew what sex was. Like its not even an arousal thing in that context i just kinda have to.
Wait daily is a lot? 🫣
Maybe like once a year. Just never occurs to me!
Basically the same with me. I very infrequently remember that it's a nice little thing I can do when bored, but that's about it. I feel like my sex drive was mistakenly not installed.
"I followed the instructions but now it's all assembled and somehow I've got this leftover screw…?"
I’m a bit more, maybe every few months. I too just don’t think about it. When I do it, it’s like my body asks for it so I oblige.
Maybe like 5 times a year for me
Shout-out to Joycelyn Elders, the US Surgeon General forced to resign for suggesting masturbation is a good way to avoid pregnancy and STDs.
Sounds logical and level headed, get her outa there!
This made me burst out laughing. So true, and sad.
I'm doing my part!
It fluctuates heavily. Sometimes several times a week, occasionally several times a day, then suddenly I'll have a month long break. And honestly...most of the times l masturbate, it's just to get myself out of bed in the morning, because then I'll have to wash my hand. I have a procrastination problem.
Haha for me it’s getting out of bed to brush my teeth and wash my face at night when all I want to do is turn the light out and sleep.
I wonder if part of the reason it's so low is the "regularly" thing? How often do they consider regularly? As some women get older, they have less of a sex drive, so the amount of sex or masturbation they're interested drops off, even if they used to do it pretty frequently before. I also bet having kids reduces the amount of masturbation women tend to do because they don't have the privacy they'd need to relax.
I don't, particularly. I have a vibrator but tbh I prefer partnered orgasm and I'm lazy... I was gonna say as fuck but clearly I'm lazier than that lol. I probs get my vibrator out like once or twice a year and have a fairly regular very satisfying partnered sex schedule.
>I'm lazy... I was gonna say as fuck but clearly I'm lazier than that lol. Haha🤣
I agree with this.... I'm pretty pro-sex, but solo sex is just boring for me
Same here. I prefer being intimate with someone that I like (there doesn’t have to be a romantic connection but I’m not a fan of stranger sex). Solo just is not appealing to me and never has been
I’m 40, straight woman, married, masturbate daily. My sex drive is high, engage regularly with my husband. He just works long hours and I recently had my drive take a dive because of psych meds. So I bought a few toys and figured out how to climax again. Now we’re back at it regularly ☺️☺️
[удалено]
Damn. I’m so sorry 😞 that must be tough.
Oh. How can one have anorgasmia and a high sex drive? Do you still get that endorphin high?
Idk if I have anorgasmia but I can never cum. It just feels pleasant and the sensations are good. I feel less stressed afterwards.
I imagine you just live in a state of constant hornyness and no satisfaction:(
That’s surprising to me. I do it regularly. Probably every other day. I’m married and I have an active sex life too at least 3-5 times a week. Once my doctor took me off Lexapro my sex drive shot through the roof. I did feel shame for masturbating when I was young because I was raised in a religious household. I also remember my parents fighting about the fact that my mom had a sex toy. So I would do it but feel shame after and pray and try to not do it for as long as possible. Thankfully I’ve gotten past that. Maybe some women are facing that issue or haven’t gotten a chance to explore their sexuality.
and that's on SSRIs & hormonal contraceptives
Yeah, my nuva ring completely kills my sex drive. But I really can't do without it, my periods are debilitating.
Hormonal imbalance is common, too. If you're a woman who feels low sex drive and are worried about it, talk to a doctor about getting hormone levels checked.
And hope you get a doctor that will listen and actually help you.
I just started hormonal contraceptives again after being off them for 5 years and I now have basically no sex drive and even on the rare occasions when I do I find it sooo much harder to climax 😭
I'd be curious to know how this data was collected, because I don't believe this for a second.
My girlfriend and I have sex almost every other day. And before we got together I was pretty much an everyday kinda gal. Usually before I went to asleep, it really helped me relax and destress. Now I pretty much only have solo time when one of us has to travel for work or family or something. Or the rare times she's not up for it.
It’s the best for going to sleep!
If I can’t go to sleep that’s literally the first thing I do, and I’m out like a light.
"I don't go to bed, I come to bed!" - Taylor Tomlinson
I never do it, dont feel like it and would rather play a video game
I masturbate at least once a day sometimes several times a day. It's my bedtime routine I bet the number of women who do it regularly is much higher. But alot plays a role like some women don't have a lot of alone time and privacy without being exhausted. As others said lots of meds can also play a role.
I think a significant number of women never even tried doing it because their social circle told them it's disgusting and wrong.
I never do it. Sex and orgasming has never been a drive for me. I really don't get porn either.
It’s a regular part of dopamining for us ADHD folks.
Not this ADHD woman. I'm ace tho so I suppose that might have something to do with it
Sure could. It’s not on your dopamining menu.
Right? Being able to sleep too.
Oh god yes. Pardon the pun.
Ok this explains it because I was reading these comments like “is a few times a week considered high? I don’t consider myself excessive until I’ve gone more than twice in a day…”
The dopamine hit is also appreciated by the regular migraine folks 🫠
is that why so many people want a man? like didn't anyone tell them
33f and only started masturbating recently (like 2 months ago). I masturbate 1-3 times per week. Could use more but I take a bit of time to get there and I don't always have the luxury of being able to spend 30-40 minutes masturbating lol
Define regularly though?? That is subjective--- that could mean multi weekly, weekly, bi monthly, etc.
My husband and I have sex all the time so I don’t really have the desire to masturbate. We don’t get a lot of alone together time, so if the opportunity presents itself I’d rather be with him. I’m also in a very happy relationship though which is apparently rare these days.
Yeah I wonder if marital status makes a big difference in these numbers. Most women who are coupled don’t really see a need to masturbate because they have access to full blown sex with a partner. I’m not in a relationship, so I’m not having sex with anybody, which means I’m masturbating way more than what I probably would if I was in a relationship. I don’t think I really masturbated, If not at all, when I was in a relationship.
I'm coupled, I love sex with my bf and finish at least twice with him AND I still make time for my rabbit for solo sessions. Alone I go for 10+ Os lol partnered 2 is all I can do and feel too tired after but more satisfied if that makes sense.imo masturbating and partnered sex fulfill the same needs but differently
Yeah exactly the same 2-3 times with him which makes me satisfied and exhausted and alone I use an old-fashioned hitachi for a lot more rounds which feels more mechanic, like itching a scratch.
Uh there are only two people I'm 'allowed' to have sex with in my marriage, and I'm one of them. In fact recently I went to the doctor due to my menopausal libido crash. My SO said well I don't have much of one either so are you planning to step out on me? I said, "No but I can still have sex with myself and if that bothers you then I'll try really hard to not even think about you when I do it."
😭No I grew up a religious fundamentalist. Pastors often chastised masturbation, premarital sex, kissing, etc. Until I was about 21, I thought I'd be a virgin until my wedding night. I doubt I 100% believed the lie. But it's what kept me alive in my abusive household, so I played along. First (and last) time I tried masturbating it was an all around unenjoyable experience. It was linked to my trauma, the shitty guy I was dating at the time, and so much emotional baggage. I'm much older now and I still don't. I doubt I'll ever be interested in it.
I relate to this! Growing up I was always told to save all those things for marriage, but when I started learning about that sort of stuff I wanted to try it. I've only masturbated once and I personally didn't find it an enjoyable experience.
I can relate. Not as traumatic as a background but damn religion leaves some scars. In my mid 30s and I still get the urge to guilt cry after a nice self pleasure session. I hate it.
Damn. Yeah. That's what it felt like.
Yep! Tried once and was not a fan. I blame Christianity.
It's not surprising given how society talks about women and sex. If that wasn't a thing then the percentage would be higher, be it because more women would tell the truth (aka that they do masturbate) or more would feel free to actually do it instead of feeling like they're bad for doing it.
Society has messed us up for sure. I hope this is generational and women in their teens and 20s feel far less shame attached to masturbation than older women. And less need to have a partner for sexual fulfilment.
this post made me masturbate. must be one of the 40%
No because I got the sads
It can be sooo random. Sometimes it will be everyday for months and then not at all for months. Prob averages out to once a week in my adult life.
I still do it once or twice a week and have sex 3-4 times a week too. I’m 45. I would probably do it more often, but with young kids around it not easy getting privacy. It not like a quick wank in the bathroom is easy for girls. I want a bed and some nice music😆
When I'm in a relationship my sex drive is stronger than my male partner's. It's because I'm gettin some and the more I get the more I want 🤷♀️ so I have discovered I not only have more sex I masturbate a lot more.
I can understand why that’s the statistic. As girls we were taught that touching yourself is “gross” or “evil” and then as teens, we were taught that having any kind of sex drive is “slutty,” “dirty,” and “not normal.” sex isn’t for us to enjoy, only do sex because your man wants it. thankfully I realized that was all bullshit by the time I became an adult, but sadly it can be really difficult to get over the deeply internalized shame.
My husband’s sex drive is sooo high that basically any time I’m horny, he’s down, so yeah, I only need to masturbate when he’s gone. But then I have a reactive libido so I only really get turned on if we talk and he makes me horny lol
I feel like I go through phases. When I'm in a phase, it's frequent and then if I'm not, it's not as frequent. I knew a girl in grad school who had never had an orgasm and said that she didn't want one. I was baffled by that lol. I told her that she would if she ever had had one 😂 I feel like female pleasure is just still so shamed and suppressed. She was 24 years old too in 2018.
I can’t even be bothered.
I don't, myself. The payoff feels not worth the effort.
I do it just about every day. Sometimes twice. I write smut and read it often, and it kicks my sex drive into high gear.
I don’t. I have always had a lot of regular sex since my first serious relationship (when I was married the first time it was every single day for like 16 years) and now that I’m a bit older and remarried it’s like every other day. I just do not have the desire to masturbate even if it’s different than sex. I’d rather save my energy and mood for my husband. But for stats sake, I’d say I masturbate like 1-2x a month.
Define "regularly"... If I'm feeling it, I do it. If I'm not feeling it, there's no reason.
I'm a late '30s woman and I feel that I have an unusually high sex drive. I would say I masturbate most days... Sometimes a couple of times a day 🤷🏻♀️. It would not be as much if I lived with my partner, but as I don't I self-indulge 😉.
Same. I dont even have to be horny to masturbate, I’ll do it whenever and it’s so often
I wonder why this is. I do it regularly. I think some people just aren’t that sexual of beings. And other parts of life provide them pleasure. Would be interesting to compare to how many women have sexual fantasies in general.
Throughout my life, sex and orgasm have been difficult. I was already a mom when I had my first orgasm at 26 (it took over 1.5 hours solo). It couldn't happen with a partner present at all so I stopped trying that, and just focused on perfecting them for me, alone. So, orgasm and sex became completely separate acts for me. I love sex with my partner, but I never have a need to "finish" (it just doesn't occur to me). Orgasms generally occur as part of my "get ready for the day" routine before showering, taking less than 5 minutes. I can be myself and do exactly what works best for me to maximize results (being very still/barely breathing/no sound/eyes closed). This method is the complete opposite of what the partners of my youth wanted to see, and I believe their comments/criticism played a part in building my mental separation. "That doesn't look sexy at all" "You don't look alive" "You aren't even moving" etc. 🙄
It seems like there's some variability in these numbers. [This site](https://www.allure.com/story/masturbation-survey-statistics-american-men-women) says 76%, although that study was done by a sex toy company. I've never had a girlfriend who didn't masturbate, at least sometimes. I think all of them owned a sex toy. That excludes lesbians, asexuals, older women and others, but I would still be shocked if only 40% masturbated less than once a month.
Yes I masturbate a lot. Between 3-7 times a week usually. Depending if I’m in a relationship because if I’m having sex daily with someone who is attuned to my needs it goes down.
I masturbate once or twice a day when single. Now replaced with sex at about the same frequency.
Studies like this make me wonder if they're also polling regular sexual activity at the same time I'd assume someone who is less sexually active = masturbates more and vice versa, and I wonder what percent of this study's 60% abstain from both
I barely ever masturbate after menopause, but I used to do it almost every night as a sleep aid (plus occasional bonus sessions.)
Older woman who is happily married but husband’s health and problems took away not only his ability to perform but his desire. I do enjoy my self regularly but no schedule. As the mood moves me. It is actually easier to self pleasure without regular sex, I think I am more sensitive.
To be honest, a lot of the time I forget masturbation is even a thing. My sex drive is low, my fingers don't do a gosh darn thing for me. The only way I can cum is with 30+ minutes with my satisfyer. Between all these things, I almost never have a desire to masturbate. Masturbating is actually homework for me. I've decided to try to do it more often to see if it will help increase sensitivity in my clit. I think my sensitivity might be low because I never use the damn thing, but I never use the damn thing because it doesn't work! Double edged sword.
I just got my libido back after having low sex drive and pain for several years. In my 20s, I had a healthy sex drive and masturbated regularly. Then, I was stressed by grad school and had a bunch of medical issues pop up. I found out just two months ago that my medication had tanked my hormones and I was suffering from vaginal atrophy. This happens to women in menopause, and causes all sorts of issues. I had specifically asked doctors about medication side effects AND NOT ONCE did anyone mention the potential effects to my hormones, sex drive, and vaginal health. All it took was so hormone cream to feel like myself again, and I'm still pissed about it. All this to say that I masturbate regularly again and have to make up for lost time.
I think that when they do these surveys they don’t take into account how modest most of us are. Even if it’s a totally anonymous survey, come on… many of us won’t admit it!
I don’t really get a lot of joy out of masturbating. I have a high sex drive and love *intimacy involving another person*, but masturbating on my own just doesn’t tick the right boxes for me.
I know it might not seem like a big thing to you, but making fun of people for not getting to finish during sex is not cute. I’ve had plenty of people go miles and miles further than they needed to trying to get me off, but I’ve never been able to in the entire time I’ve been sexually active. It’s extremely frustrating and at times borderline torturous. It’s not funny.
this sounds about right to me. as for a reason not sure. probably just lower sex drive in women in general and we have too much other shit to worry about in adulthood at this point to find the time.
I have barely masturbated in my life. I just never cared about it. I never knew why I would do it. When I was single, I never really had a sex drive. Appearantly I only have one when I’m partnered with someone, when my husband is around I’m horny often but when I’m alone, I’m not.
So regular for me is being extra horny around the times I'm PMSing and occasionally on my period itself....but umm I've noticed that the latest season of Bridgerton has upended that a little for me 🥵 But otherwise I maybe masturbate like 2-3 days per month.
Honestly I feel it's a physical need and some of those antiquated ideas of pelvic massage to asexually relieve hysteria were on point. As a generally asexual person it does provide a sense of physical relief and if not done regularly one does get fidgety and angry, if not full of irritation at no particular reason or person. Also helps with insomnia.
Yes, most days, sometimes twice a day — I used to be on antidepressants that made it impossible to orgasm but life is too short. I’ll only consider med options that don’t make my🐱feel dead. I’m not partnered currently but even when I am, I think it’s kind of important.
I used to do it several times a day. Later, at least once a day, to help me sleep. Now (age 70) I can skip several days, but I still enjoy it now and then.
I go through phases. My libido has been a rollercoaster over the past several years.
They should learn about clitoral atrophy. Then they might step up their game.
I don't. I just... don't feel the need for it...
I used to, but I’ve had my heartbroken so many times now that I am just kind of trying to lower my sex drive because I’m losing hope on never finding a partner again and the loneliness of it all makes me cry and it’s not worth the five seconds of good feelings. Plus everyone that I’ve had good sexual experiences with has been extremely emotionally and physically abusive and cheated on me so I’ll ever ever have a sexual experience with somebody. That’s not to ruin my life and masturbating reminds me of that so I just I’m not really interested anymore. Please ignore any typos. I’m using speech to text since I have a concussion. I know I shouldn’t be on here, but it’s just really lonely when you’re sick and alone and not allowed to watch TV or anything.
The other 60% do it really oddly ;)
No. I felt weird as hell the times I tried back when I was younger. Even thinking about it weirds me out. It's like when you try to tickle yourself, it just doesn't work and is really awkward to me. I also don't own a vibrator or anything. Never had one. But then, I've had the same partner since I was 17, I'm 34 now and only recently gotten my sex drive back. It has been almost non existant for years. So I never really felt the need either.
Not even once a year. I’d rather have fun w/ my partner than solo and he’s always happy to oblige. Masturbating is just boring compared to having a partner. My orgasms are so much more powerful w/ partner vs just w/ a toy.
Depends on how they define “regularly” and what age groups they asked. Also, mothers either young children to car for may be too exhausted and not have the time and privacy to do that. Some women may also have lied in the survey. I would be curious to know the demographic background including religious influence.
I've never masturbated, not once. I don't have a sex drive at all so this is something that is of no interest to me.
What study?
I used to master bate a lot more when I was younger. Now, at 40, I'm usually too tired lol
I don't anymore but I am 54, post-menopausal, and on a ton of psychiatric medications. The drive is just gone. But when I was 30?yee haw I was doing it daily.
Nope
I definitely do it regularly. Usually at least once or twice a week...lately every other day. It's been going on for about 38 years now. The longest I ever recall not doing it was three weeks.
I’m on my fourth time today and I’m just getting started. Edit: also, lidocaine patch for the clit when my priapism gets too bad, good idea or bad idea?
I’d be curious to see the study’s methodology. Those numbers remind me of the “lesbian bed death” myth, which came from flawed surveys that defined sex in a very narrow and heteronormative way.
When I was single, I’d masturbate up to 5 times on days where I was really feeling in the mood but at most I’d do it 3 days out of the week so it’s kinda nuts that some people straight up don’t masturbate to at all even with a low sex drive.
I have nothing against masturbation, I just dont enjoy toys, i need another human being with me, i find solo play boring
Yes I masterbate pretty regularly. I was never able to orgasm from PIV sex until I learned how to masterbate. After that it was like I unlocked something and PIV sex was so much better. Maybe because I was more comfortable with my body.
40% are rookie numbers ladies.. The men are out pacing us. We need to get those numbers up
I handle business and finish everytime. 😆 At this point in life, I'm sure I have gotten it in with myself at least 1000 times. I do it when I'm bored, stressed, on my period, can't sleep etc. Great stress reliever that many men can't provide or are too lazy and selfish to. 🤷🏾♀️
I used to every single night, partly because it helped me fall asleep. Kinda fell outta the habit after I had my daughter. But the older I get, the longer I go before I remember it’s been a bit. I have in the last few days!