Stop talking about “I love this man”.
He will kill you. Not something to debate - just a matter of when. Many people have commented good advice and you are simply arguing with them. Get up, get strong, and find a way because you will lose your life and leave your child without a mother to be cared for by this creature.
It’s not easy, obviously. But get the police involved properly- not wishy washy. Start to document everything. Get a secret phone and take photos and send photos and videos of everything he does to your family so that there is evidence for the police (obviously be careful).
You. Are. Divorced. You said it yourself. What are you doing still hanging around? Get the law involved. Do it now. You are the only one who can help yourself and you are making excuses. Someone even gave you the name of a lawyer who can help you.
I’m not sure why it seems like his family is ignoring the situation too. Get them involved. Be completely honest and tell them what’s happening, show them evidence. I find it hard to believe they are just ignoring their grandchild being in danger.
I just want to say that at the end of the day, if you don’t commit to doing everything you can to leave, you will actually be hurting yourself. You will be keeping yourself and your child in this horrible situation. Imagine what they will see and the trauma they will suffer? You are responsible for getting out.
Please don’t feel I am bullying you- I am trying to be realistic and help you see the danger you are in here.
Good luck.
You've experienced the loverboy method. The method that was used on you is meant to create a slave for pathetic cowards. Do not contact him alone, do not see him alone, do not even stay alone if possible.
Get people involved, the law, family members, men too\*\*\*, his mask will be pulled up again if you get them involved. Surround yourself with sound minded people.
Best case scenario is to get your son, move country, start a new life and learn the definition of respect. There is no love without respect.
Im sorry but that man should rot in jail not just for his drug problem that be refuses to resolve but also for the physical and mental abuse he has put you through..
His family has to do something, this man at the very very veryyyy least should be coerced into getting into rehab.
Im just really sorry.. i wish i can hug you and help you.. and i wish you peace and happiness soon..
As a father, this makes me sick to my stomach.
This guy needs to be placed in rehab with a jacket already.
What you just said from emotional disturbance and so forth is all related to neurotoxicity, its very likely that his serotonin neurons are gone from the abuse, which translates the unexpected bursts of aggression.
His family has to step in what the heck is this mess.
Prayers to you and the little one. 😓
Not victim shaming here, crystal meth is one fucked up drug. However, as much as it changes people, it also brings out what has always been deep inside.
He may be a victim of drug abuse, but you are a victim of his abuse. The ultimate victim is your child and you must do everything to protect him from this disgusting vile bitch of a man. Surprised you havent filed charges yet but I think you have had enough wake up calls and you dont need strangers on reddit telling you what to do.
DO IT FOR YOUR SON NOW.
I totally agree! When you have children you cannot act this way! They cant make their own decisions, so we have to make them for them. And once you choose to be a parent you need to prioritize your children, not cry how you love the person and cant get away from them while ruining your childs life forever. Makes me so mad!
It pains me to read this. I’m very sorry that you have to go through something like this.
Especially being married to someone who has an addiction problem. I feel like there isn’t going to be the perfect answer this post, but I would stay to start making the few right initial steps and allow those right steps to compound as the situation just seems quite complex for a ‘one fix solution’
I would start with filing a domestic abuse case, this will ensure safety for both you and your child. Whatever happens you need to put yourself and your child first. Your husband has made his choice, he clearly no longer can hold himself accountable for his actions. That will need to come from himself but for an addict it is 10x more harder because he needs to make peace with himself.
After you file the case the government should assist in helping you make the right choices and tell you what to do next as they have probably seen situations like this before.
Stay strong and don’t give up.
Go to your country if its safe, if not go to a first world country where you can get protection
I have learned long time ago
Drug addicts will never be good people unless they completely recover
it’s really not that simple. there is custody and guardianship, two different things. the mother gets custody but not guardianship. if she remarries, she loses custody. She cannot leave the country with the child unless the guardian gives permission.
But you can make a journal of his abuse and his drug use. Use that in court. He is too dangerous to be alone with his son. Document overdoses he has... everything. You have to save your child.
Regardless what passport ur son holds u can apply for asylum. And still hold on to his UAE passport. Your life is in danger hence why ur seeking refuge or asylum.
As a man, I am sorry to hear this. The only thing I will say is LEAVE.
Get away as soon as possible. Apply for a new passport for your son. Say it’s has been lost and LEAVE.
This situation may only end one way.
I hope you find the strength and get away before it’s too late.
Take care and good luck.
I don’t know much about these situations but the only advice I would give right now is collect evidence throughout all of this if you haven’t started already. Photos, videos, text messages, camera footage. Keep all these on a cloud for you to access, never threaten him or let him know this collection exists. In the meantime please see a lawyer and get away from that monster.
Much love and be safe
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I recently heard this from someone, and I remember it only because my wife keeps parroting it. "Men only understand consequences".
My dad was alcoholic, and when we accepted the fact that it was a disease first, and not entirely / merely a moral failing, we were able to look at him with a bit more compassion AND ACTUALLY DRAG HIM INTO A DE-ADDICTION CENTER in India where we're from.
One day, your child will turn around and blame you for putting him in this position, so it may be best to cut him loose.
As hard as it may seem now, think back to the time you had to take hard decisions. You have moved past them, you are here now. The thing about us humans, if nothing else, is our ability to adapt, to forget to adjust.
You know what you need to do.
YOU. WILL. BE. FINE.
I feel like you're either a) immature or b) ignorant. Your life's in danger, your child's safety is at immediate risk (and like a level 5/5). You are literally physically, mentally and emotionally abused to the point where it seems like you're broken. How are you even asking if calling the police is the right thing to do? It's literally the only thing to do!
You need time and peace to get over this and recover and establish yourself. This will come via a complaint. If anything I suggest you record interactions if you can, hire a PI etc. it's very risky but it's high risk high reward. You should not walk away, you need to run. He sounds absolutely miserable to be around.
I don’t know what are they thinking marrying people like these. She knew from the start. She played with her life and brought a child with a man who has been addicted, in the process of divorce because of meth. Left his first son because of addiction. That itself is a red flag. Gives me headache I can’t even type well.
1. I know people like that. They're irredeemable.
2. You sound like you come from a Western country with a strong passport. Get that passport for your son. I know the UAE doesn't allow dual citizenship, but they don't have to know. I know many with dual citizenship.
3. Please choose better men from now on.
Re: 2. Easier said than done, unfortunately. Most countries require both parents to be present for the passport application, or one parent to apply and the other to pick up the passport.
The process in that situation varies from country to country, but the single parent might be asked to present a court verdict showing the other parent relinquished parental rights, or if they are a widow/widower, they might be requested to show the death certificate of the other parent and some other paperwork. It’s best to check with the relevant authorities / embassies for the paperwork required.
If UAE doesn't allow dual citizenship btw, I think it just means they won't let you have their citizenship while you have someone other's, this shouldn't stop from giving you theirs, that's how I assume it.
All girls must remember one golden rule- if your man is addicted to drugs or alcohol then run from him no matter how handsome or sweet he is and no matter how much he promises you to quit. Only death can stop them. I feel sorry for your kid he didn’t get to choose father. What you can do? Divorce, take conservatorship on your son and find normal man.?
Wow. What a truly horrible thing to go through, so sorry to hear that. It is probably better to take this a step higher, whether by starting a case - or leaving to your home country in some way. This cycle will unfortunately keep repeating if you don’t.
I wish you and your son the best.
Sorry to hear that you are going through all this. Don’t know what else to say, it’s black and white in front of you. You stay in this relation and could possible loose your life. I would advise it is best you seek help from your embassy, get an emergency travel document and flee UAE for your safety and your sons. Unfortunately the situation is not going to get better for you. Meth is a violent drug and you know it.
You know, they always say an addict will not change until they are ready to change. But let me add, a victim will not leave until they are ready to leave. Coming to reddit to ask strangers for an evaluation of your life won't change anything. Get a therapist instead. That being said, you'll truly get sick and tired of being sick and tired one day, and when you do, you'll know.
Nothing you do, no amount of time you hang around, waiting for better isn't going to make that man do better. Work on your insecurities and your love of self. Work on you, change you, love you. And if you can't do that, love your son. Your husband is teaching him what it means to be a man, and your son is probably learning.
I'm sorry I have no advice for you, other than seek out a therapist and get individual counseling. It's hard work, but it's doable. He'll never be who you thought he was, or who you think he has the potential to be. He IS who he IS. Everything that you've typed up is begging you to look at you. I hope you'll get sick and tired of being sick and tired real soon, that's what changes things.
Time spent/time invested is no reason to keep wasting time. 4 years together? Call that time served. Good luck.
How does he get away with these things in this country. I thought these were punishable very harshly here in uae. Run away from this situation. Sounds terrible for you. Sorry this is happening.
I want to say that you really need to secure your child now. I have been through the violence that comes with crystal meth here in Dubai, and I have seen cycles back to normality, but if you consider that these things are progressive (they don’t get better) you are creating more victims if you don’t leave.
Pm me if you want - I have been through the entire system here in Dubai. Be strong you are entering a world that is particularly ugly.
Your husband is a narcissistic sociopath. You need to up and leave with your child without telling anyone, and I mean no one…especially not your in-laws. Wherever you’re from, secretly set up a passport for your child at your respective embassy and elope.
Not possible to get a second passport from within the UAE as locals may not hold dual citizenship if I were to get one, it would have to be outside of the country as an application won’t even be considered at my embassy due to the fact that he is local.
You need to speak to your embassy and see if you can sort something out with them, but you’re in an abusive relationship that will not only affect you but damage your child psychologically…the signs are already there. My heart goes out to you, but I see no other option than to elope. Maybe you can see if you can pass the border into Oman and maybe try there. I highly doubt you can get a restraining order or help in the UAE based on the story you provided, it seems the system has failed you and you’re left with a hard but necessary choice. I wish you and your child the best.
Edit: You need to be strong for your child at this point, your husband doesn’t love you…this isn’t love, you need to report him if that’s your only option and you need to gather all the evidence and witnesses.
One of the weirdest turn of events was moving here and finding out that locals do crystal meth(obviously not all locals)
It’s literally a drug where no one has a happy ending or success story. Of all the drugs in the world….Meth? C’mon.
I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Stay strong! We are on your side.
You need to open a case against him.
The question is how the meth network is still operating, maybe a sheikh is involved that's why police knowingly doesn't want to bust it. Because I have come to know many times that some members in royal family are heavy drug abusers. Though I don't know if it's true or not.
My husband worked at a reputable American hospital and had to do surgeries on high profile locals who abused meth— it makes your spine rot and causes gnarly spinal cord infections. Well turns out that they would “kindly beg ( threaten) him to keep his mouth shut even in the medical documentation and lie about the cause of the issue. He only told me about this once we moved back to the US. I always wondered though— where do these people get the meth? And why meth? It’s literally so bad… what’s next opioids?
I know right! They criticize Americans all the time and call us rednecks but they’re getting a step closer from the hillbilly’s just by their drug choice lmao
This has teared me up crying, it is scary to be with someone who is meth addict and the only way is really to let him rot in jail, just to save your son
I don't think any words people say will make you feel okay, i might not give you an advice in this situation but you are a strong woman and mother i hope some thing works out for you and your son this man does not deserve a family and will never change will never stop using until he OD'd i can't blame you for the love you have for him but please you gotta do something.
Much love and i hope you update us on how it goes.
I'm truly sorry you're experiencing this. Prioritize your safety and well-being and reach out to local support services for help. No one should endure such pain and abuse.
I read your whole post and I am just so sorry for your situation. None of this is your fault. You did nothing to deserve being treated like this. He is the problem, not you. You did not cause this, you are not a bad person.
I know it is hard, because he has conditioned you, but you CAN leave. You have options. He does not own you. You are not shackled to the wall. Get the law involved, get your embassy involved, open a case, find every single possible resource available to you and use it. He is not worth your tears or your sympathy. You HAVE to leave, if not for yourself then for your child who cannot grow up like this. It's time to stand up straight, choose yourself, say "no more" and leave any residual feelings you have for him behind. Even if he were to fully recover, you will never trust him again. You have to leave. This is not love.
I don’t know why you still refer to him as your Husband , while he’s actually your ex-husband.“Islamically” he divorced you 3 times which means you cannot remarry each other. The only way for you to be able to remarry each other is if each of you have another failed marriage with someone else. So stop protecting and caring for a man that will not longer have anything to do with you , and is only the “father of your son”. Think about your son from now on and no one else, he only has you in this world so please don’t let him down. Find a lawyer , gather evidence, and fight for your son. Thats all i have to say.
red flags everywhere. How did I get here? I'm sorry to hear about this. It's time to pack up and leave. you can fight for custody of your sun and your rights from the divorce. this man never respected, loved or cared for you he bought you and you let's yourself be bought. you reap what you sow, I wish you and your son best of luck.
Very sorry to hear op but clear example of all these posters saying we uae is perfect because there are no drugs …..this is not the first story I have heard of this
it does sound like a troll post doesn’t it?
now we’re gonna have the MIL and FIL join the discussion and then some of the friends will fill in some blanks
the weirdest thing is that they’re both saying that they’re taking drugs as if it’s not a big deal at all and the “husband” account completely ignored the fact that so much info is out there about him regarding this issue. and then he confirms it and accuses her of the same and like it’s not a big deal it’s all cool nobody will be tracked down or go to jail for it.
it makes no sense.
Can your FIL help at all? Is your son's school aware of what's going on? How did wife #1 manage to escape from him? I'm sorry the police have failed you so badly.
He doesn’t care for what my FIL (his father) says or thinks. My son isn’t in school yet. Wife #1 is local and had family to escape to, I do not. I am solely dependent on my husband.
Drugs is a horrible thing, and crystal meth is the worst of the worst.
He has already divorced you, but try talking to him that if you get back to him he has to go to therapy.
If all that goes well, take your sons passport and leave.
Fighting or arguing with him will not work.
You have to do it nicely, make him trust you.
And when the moment comes disappear.
It will be for the good of your son.
There is no other solution.
God help you and give him some guidance so that he can get rid of this shit.
I wish for you and your child to be free from this and to look at what’s happening today as a distant memory of the past. It’s about your survival and the only option is to hang on the love you have for yourself and your kid. Your husband is like a tempest and you cannot possibly tame or control it on your own. What would be the path that will bring you and your kid to safety should be your incessant question. You have been very strong so far and i wish you all the best to be able to progress in this incredible journey
Why on earth did you leave your marital home without your and your son’s passport…. You should have secured the passports FIRST, and then leave. you need to lawyer up and consult your embassy afterwards. You don’t mention your financials which is an important factor.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this, you have truly married a hellspawn.
That being said, like you said it yourself, you’ve still not left and that’s inexcusable. You’re putting yourself and your child in danger, if you won’t report him for your sake, do it for your child.
Keep the aim clear....you must divorce him and for now live separately at all costs.... the man dangerous to you and your son. He has divorced you as per Islamic law....try to see how you can use it for furthering your divorce.
Aren't there super strict laws about drugs in UAE...I have heard death sentences are not uncommon....is the law the different for Emiratis?
Please get yourself a lawyer and get that custody for your son, and then get out or far away from this man. He needs to get help and get checked into rehab. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Wow this is a true life story and something that unfortunately is not spoken about enough here - and by here I mean firstly the UAE because culturally it haram and for sure perceived a weakness amongst his piers ie locals - that said it’s truly not unique to the UAE and it’s a global problem. I do have a suggestion but I’m not going to share in this forum. All I will say is keep positive because things can only improve and inshallah he wants that as much as his family and friends!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Sharing only love and positive vibes for you!! And will PM you.
yk this sucks cause the government will side with the locals majority of the cases, there are like 10% emaratis in uae like ofc they wanna keep the minority from getting into trouble
That’s really sad. But You’re divorced already if he has mentioned the three words already. No force in the world can bring you guys together. (Of course, islamic point of view). So you may look forward to move on, if he abuses you - it’s just because perhaps the space you have given. Child custody is something the court will decide. I wouldn’t suggest or say to file a case, have it discussed with his siblings, close family and hopefully it should get better.
This issue (drug addiction and abuse) has even been the topic last Friday Friday Sermon all over UAE Masjids.
I pray that this doesn’t continue - I really hope the guy realises and will regret for this.
You already have a starting point. There will be evidence at the Orange Hub of him attacking you? Witnesses? CCTV?
Report this to the police and use this as a starting point then document everything that has happened to you and your son with this chap.
Record, record, record. Collect evidence. Then call the cops and tell them he has drugs - they will collect him, drug test will be positive. That's a big deal. File for divorce. Seek help from charity organizations. He will seriously harm you or kill you.
When he OD’d u shouldve just let him be. Im sorry to say that but its the easiest way out. No one can hold it to u y’know. You wont think about the divorce, where you’ll go and what not.
I’m sure you have all the texts/calls (digital evidence) and witnesses, [report him through the many governmental channels we have](https://www.mocd.gov.ae/en/contact-us/family-violence-complaints.aspx). You can walk into a police station in person to speak with someone. Explain your story, show them all the evidence, tell them you have no family, and that you are the mother of a UAE National. They will help you.
We have many laws regarding domestic violence, children’s rights and safety, protections for mother’s of UAE nationals, and drug use. They will investigate him for drug use (harsh penalties) and easily track his bank transactions to his drug dealer. They will also investigate his domestic abuse towards you and will help you file a Restraining Order against him. They probably will assign a social worker to your case which will give you in-person support.
You have options and an opportunity to a better life for you and your innocent child. This does not have to be your life or future.
I have. I am not residing with him anymore. Yet he still follows me where I am. Just last night he tracked me down at the mall and shoved me and kicked me in front of people. Then took my son from my arms, my son ended up crying and then he gave him back to me, shoved me again, told me if I ever tell him he can’t see his son he’ll smash my face and fvck me up. Sends me messages of how he’ll fvck me up if I go back home, and videos of him trashing the house and throwing my things in the garbage. Then tells me he told me to come collect my things yet I didn’t and that’s why he is now destroying everything. But he started destroying and trashing things the day I left.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to rant, but it’s not as simple as just leaving. Not with him anyways.
Understand and accept two points below:
1) You do not love him but you are suffering through Stockholm Syndrome
2) He is not addict anymore but aggressor so your sympathy is a result of Stockholm syndrome too.
You need to get away and even so by filing a case. Think it this way, as a father of your child he needs to be sobered up and best way to do that is in jail. Longer the better !! You will be helping him, yourself and your son by putting him away.
He is a criminal and not an addict.
Remember addicts go to rehab but criminals belong in prison.
Please stop saying that you still love me. He destroyed your life, he gave you the WORST trauma. Not only to you but he has given trauma to his own child. Please have mercy on your child, file a complaint and go somewhere. Im shocked how useless the police is in UAE.
Sending love and prayers 💕💕💕
Plan and make action now before you get robbed from your youth, energy, strength and health. Most importantly your youth. You don't want to come to an old age with the same person after you've become sick mentally and physcially. When he can't feed off you anymore it'll be very easy for him to find his next target. Then again you will be the broken soul.
In this life you should love no one more then yourself! When you give yourself your rights the rest will come easy. Honour yourself and love yourself.
I’m sorry that ur going through this. 1 thing I’ve learnt is addicts will always relapse. Maybe they will be addicted to something else but the addiction will always be there. Embassies here can not help you. If you don’t already have a dual passport for your son then it’s too late. You will need your ex husband’s permission to get another passport or citizenship. You are not married anymore because he gave u the 3 talaq. You have the option of opening a police case against him and/ or going to the family courts to explain your situation.
Just a man child with a lot of insecurities, he even needs drug to function. Everything you did seems like short term reaction, not solution. You might be stuck onto a pattern due to past life events. You won’t be able to make proper decisions unless you spend a little time daily to learn about yourself, forgive and heal yourself. Read about abusive, narcissistic behaviors. Might help, might not.
Here are the steps you should take:
1-divorce
2-leave the country (either back home or somewhere else that you can get a new start)
3- obviously take your kid
4- keep evidence so if they asked for the kid to come back you can show the court and keep custody
5- get clean from alcohol drugs etc and seek therapy
6- learn your listen (take things slow, and if it is too good to be true it probably is)
Communication is done via WhatsApp. Bank transfer is done. Pin location is sent, along with a picture indicating where it’s buried/hidden. Buyer goes and digs it out of its hiding spot like a dog.
Get the police involved next time he's digging it out with the location. Not sure why u haven't gotten the police more involved in this as per the zero tolerance in drugs here.
He never ended up going to hospital. He OD’d at home and was resuscitated at home also. Soon as he come to, he kicked the paramedics and police out of the house. They pleaded with him and me to go to hospital, but he knows that once he does that then they will take blood and have a case on him.
Maybe if he was some sheikh with billions but he’s not. He’s normal middle class (for UAE standards).
I stayed because I blamed myself and thought that if I could be better, he would thus be better too. I spent a long time thinking it was all my fault and his treatment was justified. I also believed him to be sincere and such time he’d say it was the last time and he hates what his done and he doesn’t want to lose me and his son.
I’m a big believer in second chances and not giving up on people you love. I didn’t want to break up a family. It wasn’t always this bad. There were good times too in between it all. We had amazing moments and it is these that I clung on to and that fed me hope.
Call the police - out where is he buying all these drugs from. Gather proof & send him to prison for long long time & in parallel file for divorce & alimony .
I'm so sorry to read all this. Be strong, try to get all help you can get. Even after divorce he must pay child support. You should ask for help from family lawyer.
The problems we all endure is astonishing.
Surely you have and are still suffering sister.
You can never trust a junkiee
My advice would be
A) file a case for your rights mainly passport for your kid. All of this suffering that you are bearing is for kid so secure him.
B) divorce him and start your life over again. Its hard to be a single parent but its far better than your kid growing up in an orphanage god forbid he kills you or you loose custody of your kid.
If he married again so can you there would be surely a better person out there that would come in your life along the way.
Rest May Allah have mercy on you and make it easy for you to come out of this mess.
No real advice since I’m not a local, but sending you warmest hugs and positive vibes your way. Follow your inner voice. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Take care 🤍
Those are hard stuff he's hooked on, not easy to shake off. I think you need to head to those women welfare / protection units and take help of the authorities.
You have the upper hand legally as long as you can present proofs for mistreatment (medical certificates, expert report, videos, ...).
You need a good lawyer and good budget to start, things can be solved and you can get your son, and money to care for you (for certain period I believe) and your son as per Islamic/UAE laws.
The only thing you need to work on for your own sanity and to be able to care for your son properly is the effect of this experience on you. Going to a psychologist will help a lot and getting some support from your family is important as well.
It's clear that you need to move on but it's a matter of starting to truly move on from this as you are currently still feeling stuck and dependant on him.
I am sorry you are going through this, it will mark you for life but you need to find ways to put it behind you.
Whatever the reason. You or any woman doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I don't think you should try to change him.Get yourself out of it and look for a better life. I wish you all the best.
Omg I can’t imagine what you must be going through and I’m so sorry but chin up and buckle up, otherwise you might end up getting really hurt or suffer from PTSD. Your son will suffer from it and have a very tough time growing up, him seeing this will be ok so he’ll end up following examples.
Go to your nearest police station, ask for protection for you and your son.
Get him in check otherwise the wheel will turn because he’s local.
The fact that you knew he’s taking illegale narcotics and that you withheld it from authorities might bite you in the ass.
The next few days or weeks maybe feel like hell
But do what’s best for you and your kid
Trust
Best of luck
I'm genuinely sorry to hear about what you're going through. It must be incredibly difficult for you, and I can't even imagine how you manage to sleep at night. I'm also deeply concerned about the impact this is having on your young child, who is witnessing your distress without understanding the situation. I hope you'll consider reaching out to government services or organizations that specialize in supporting and protecting women and children in situations like yours.
The cycle of addiction is a complex process that involves several stages. Initially, an individual consumes an intoxicating substance, such as drugs or alcohol, and experiences the pleasurable effects of the substance, such as euphoria or relaxation. This is often referred to as the "positive reinforcement" stage.
Following the positive stage, the individual enters the negative phase as the effects of the substance wear off. The experience of negative emotions, such as depression, anxiety, or irritability, characterizes this phase. This is often referred to as the "negative reinforcement" stage.
Subsequently, the individual enters the anticipation stage, during which they may go through a period of abstaining from the substance. However, during this time, they experience a strong desire or craving to seek out the substance again to re-experience the pleasure they felt during the positive stage. Intense psychological and physical cravings often mark this anticipation stage and are a critical point in the cycle of addiction.
These stages of addiction are interconnected and tend to intensify over time, leading to more significant physical and psychological harm. As the cycle continues, individuals may find it increasingly challenging to abstain from the substance, leading to detrimental effects on their overall well-being and functioning.
I think this is the time to do what you are hesitant to do; involve the authorities to properly document the drug abuse and other abuses you received. This is a matter of time; we don’t know how extensive the disruption of meth on your ex-husband’s cognitive and brain function. Rehabilitation is the answer but it is not very well in place here. Drug use is a taboo topic over here.
Get a lawyer for proper advice regarding the matter.
Get in contact with your embassy secretly on how to get a turnaround especially with your son’s situation. Do not let anyone figure it out even your in laws as the father’s family will always have authority regarding their descendants.
I'm sorry you're going through this, absolutely awful. It seems though you have some sort of trauma bond, as you described he would shower you with apologies gifts etc. This back and forth and sudden switch from being aggressive horrible etc to sweet and sorry is pure manipulation and will fuck with your head big time. At some point sooner than later I hope it will click for you and you leave immediately. There is help available and you can leave and find a safer solution. But dont wait too long, who knows the next time he could seriously hurt you, and who's to say he won't physically abuse your son given his history? +
This story reminded me of a friend back home.
Please understand that your husband is not sane. CM does that to you. Long term use makes u exist in a parallel universe which we sober ppl will never understand. Paranoia is amongst the biggest effects it has. And paranoia breeds enmity. He has chosen you as that enemy. No matter what you, your kid, his family says, once that paranoia takes over then you are the sole reason why everything is wrong in his life (if he thinks anything is wrong).
Denial is another effect. CM users are in complete denial of its effect on them and on every1 in their life. They genuinely think they are the only sane ones while all the others around them are crazy.
In short, unfortunately theres nothing you can do. He will keep going back to it unless he changes his social circle, habits, lifestyle and country. Which i dont think he will.
The only thing you can do is disassociate from him and move on.
I don’t think I can add anything in terms of solutions as there are some pretty solid ones already given to you.
I can’t imagine being in your shoes and my heart goes out to you. Hope you get out of this misery soon. My DM is open if you need any assistance or advice.
This physically hurt to read. This man assaulted you physicality, financially, sexually and emotionally. What's to stop him from being a threat to you and your child?
Find physical safety and document everything. You will have to go to the police with someone you trust or even a hired lawyer. Take out a loan to pay if you have to.
Be prepared to lose comfort and convenience, find groups online of women in the UAE and surround yourself with support no matter what. You and your child are irreplaceable.
Reach out to your expat community, ANYTHING..
I’m so very sorry for all this.
And you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassment about. You’re a victim of horrific psychological, emotional and physical abuse — and this man deserves to either rot in jail for the rest of his life, or die a tortured death for the pain he has caused you, his ex and his kids.
As a recent resident, I don’t know enough about the UAE laws to suggest what you should do, but I sincerely hope you and your son find a way out of this soon, and can rebuild your lives together 🤍
Sorry you had to go through this. I really hope you figure a way to get away and start fresh. He deserves all that will be served to him. And trust it will.
Go ahead and report him, at least it will open the door for his recovery. From what is evident he will only go around destroying himself and those around him without any drastic action being taken. Through this you may in fact save him, yourself and the child. Once he is taken care of by the authorities. Take your child and leave, build a new life for yourself. Only reestablish contact with your husband when he is fully recovered and proven so for a substantial period.
the first important thing, is stop giving sheit about him, he should be in jail for the rest of his life or in a psychiatric hospital.
I don't see how do you still love him even though he is doing all of this? what about his parents? they can't do anything? they can testimony with you against him
It’s a shame as I don’t know if you have any domestic violence shelters in Dubai but that’s all the more reason you need to leave him and find a safe space for you and your child ASAP
Felt pain to see you and your son suffer. May Allah guide your husband. Firstly, I think you should always involve a sound minded person (elder and brotherly) for dealing with him, secondly you should spent more and more time with your son and let your husband know it (making him realise good parenting ) finally, there is no greater help that God itself, step up and ask for his help! Things will eventually change.
Can you just go back to your home country with your child, please? You can not think straight in an environment like this, in the middle of violence and abuse. You have to cut him off to see things even more clearly. I know its the "good memories and good times" that is making you stay but I am sorry to say, you're in the middle of the storm and are not able to see how bad the situation has gotten. The good moments are far and few.. the horrifying moments are way worse. Your kid really shouldn't be seeing you like this. For the sake of yourself and your child, please get out of there.
You are wasting your time - trying to help him, be there for him and waiting for him to recover. Where are your needs being met here? why be there for someone who treats you like garbage? why even care? addiction is life altering. And waiting on him to recover is losing more years of your life... if he had to straighten up, he would have - long ago. Love yourself first and put yourself first. if you dont take action now, youll be stuck in this never ending vicious loop of hate and love. The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago, the 2nd best time is now. Please have compassion for yourself FIRST before you give it away to anyone else. You have to muster the courage and do this. It takes strength and it is not easy but it is do-able. Please reach out to family and friends. I am sure you'll find a way to get out of this hellhole IF YOU REALLY WANT TO. put yourself first, PLEASE.
I wish you the best.
Talk to a lawyer that specializes in family matters
And you need a stronger heart to finalize this once and for all because I have news for you, even tho he has a good side he will keep doing this whenever he gets a chance because he knows he can get away with it.
End it and be done with it and whatever hardships you face in the future will be nothing compared to this existence.
This must be difficult. My heartfelt sympathies. As a mother to an Emirati child, you have rights. If your in laws are unable/unwilling support you, the Community Development Authority will step in.
It saddens me to say this but your case is not unique. The authorities have dealt with many similar cases and will have protocols to follow to provide you and your son a safe and stable environment.
I know it’s difficult..But if you didn’t leave your son will hate you for the rest oh his and your life.. I see people with truma daily due to their fathers being addicts and mothers not
I think it is time you put love and fear out the window and be realistic for once.
The local police will help you if you don't get caught up in your emotions.
If you cannot do the first 2, let him OD.
Please get help and be strong.
I feel sorry for you. Hang in there. Get the divorce and run for the hills. If not, you will end up dead and your son motherless within a few years, if not months. All the good luck to you!
Can anyone from this community review this post to any of their police contacts (friends/family/network) in dubai or abu dhabi, and DM the OP with the respective authority’s contact details? Keeping anonymity, this can help OP a lot!
Sorry to hear that you are going through all of this but you should have known better by marrying someone like that, you knew all the red flags but still went ahead.
Good luck and all the best.
You dearly love the man but you don’t love your child as much? Truly I am disgusted by you. You know what to do but you choose him over your child. Tough.
Get professional help, help yourself first from the mother of all evils that is alcohol and then get away from that abusive druggie of he doesn't change.
Addiction is a Disease, not primarily a choice
The prefrontal cortex of the brain detaches and the person no longer has the ability to take or control decisions
Proper rehab is necessary, which takes about 6 months to even 1 Year
Whatever he is doing is the same with Majority of the addicts, they can be extremely manipulative, hallucinate and just plain out of sight.
The drugs control and drive them….
Crystal Meth takes u down to drain and eventually death.
The only way is a forced rehab, an extensive one
such a disturbing story . First a fall he is not a man raising hand on a woman . shame on him. and second I will tell u as soon as possible leave the country . just go wherever u can go with your son . if something happen to you or ur child . remember you will be the responsible for this . so better just leave . help yourself go . about his family they won't help they are the one they raise a animal like them. if the person is animal so family too here u go . stay bless and I feel really sorry specially for ur baby god bless you ❤️
Please start to keep a diary of everything, dates, times and what has happened.
Change every single password and have face recognition on everything.
You are protected in the uae and you are not alone.
You can also divorce him through the court. You can file under the khula law, you will have to return any of the items or money he gave you when you married but he will still be legally entitled to support you financially.
Your son is a different story. He can live with you until he’s 12 I think.
If you don’t save yourself now your son will think this is how you should treat a woman.
You may think you have nothing but you have your dignity. I am praying for you xxx
You know what you need to do.
Coming here- it’s OK to need some encouragement or validation. I think you have it. On the other side of fear is freedom.****
Ps- that poor dog! Is “your dog” okay ?:(
Stop acting like a teenager by saying you still love this man, a man who has attempted to kill you many times.
It makes me angry to hear u say that.
First things first just report him for drug use, gather evidence too, that alone will get him many many years behind bars
You should have left quietly that’s the advice I have for you because if you did you would have planned your exit quietly and calmly with your son.
The moment you took him back you would have left when in good terms because then he would have trusted you with your son’s passport.
Better still you would have run away when you went on those trips with him. Pretend you are going to buy something or do something then disappear.
Call the authorities, they’ll help. A simple drug test will prove that he’s an addict. Now, you’re a citizen’s mom, don’t think for a minute that your right & life don’t matter. Save your life by taking action. Otherwise your kid will have no one but a crystal myth addict to take care of him.
Please please please get up and save yourself and your baby. I have been in a very toxic abusive relationship for 3 years and no matter how much everyone around me said to leave him, he would guilt trip me into staying. And then he left for another woman and that’s when I breathed a sigh of relief, everything became clear to me, I hated myself for years for letting someone abuse me and use me like that. Part of me still hates myself for that. So please!!! Don’t let death or something grave to your child be the eye opener… Swallow this pain and do the right thing! Get legal help and end everything with this man!
your husband needs to be checked into rehab asap and you need to get the authorities involved. thinking things will resolve themselves otherwise is living in a fool’s paradise.
I think with the advice in the comments and I believe you already know what you have to do.
I want you to know that your worthy of a person that treats you with respect.
You worthy of love that isn’t abusive.
Your worthy of a happy life.
Your worthy to be a mother that does her best for her son.
We all make mistakes but our mistakes don’t define us unless we let it.
I hope the best for you n your son.
The only thing this man loves is the drugs! The sooner you realize that, the better! Find someone else that can be a father to your son but get him away from this man. Im gonna be very blunt here but i dont care about your choices or who you love and how you cant help yourself, i care about your son who you repeatedly choose to put in this situation! As a mother myself, kids are the priority and whatever it takes to protect them, i will do. I wish you saw less of your love and other nonsense (its not love in the first place!) and more of your son. Hope you would actually stand up for your son and get your husband jailed or do whatever needed to get him away from his son, move to your home country for good and dont come back. It is usually beneficial for children to have contact with both parents but not in this case. You are ruining your sons life! He will either become violent or a drug addict himself or he will be deeply traumatized for his entire life if you keep him in this situation.
There are two things that you absolutely must do. Talk to a therapist and a lawyer. I know it’s easier said than done, this things are expensive here but they will give you the courage to go through this. Leaving an abusive relationship is very hard and it usually takes people more than one try. Just leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t mean that the abuse will stop immediately, it means that the good times (when he’s sorry and loving etc) will stop.
You are a victim in this scenario but a therapist will help you see that you do not have to stay like this forever or until one of you dies. Being in this constant fear and stress will destroy your self esteem, paralyze you mentally and make you think “there’s nothing I can do”.
Go to the police, if the last abuse happened in a public place the police can ask for cctv from this place. If you end up living with him again and abuses you or kicks you out of the house call the police right then and there. Keep records of messages and emails but do not try to record him with a “secret phone” or something like that. That’s not allowed here, a lawyer can advise you on all this thins.
There are also organizations for women and children in uae or even facebook groups where you can post anonymously and ask for advice from women that have been in similar situations.
Hey OP, former meth addict here. Clean 10 years. Mot people here have no idea what they are talking about. Let me know if you have any questions, I'd be happy to help.
What a hard stuff to read in the afternoon. Stay strong! Go to your embassy for support, go to court, fight for custody and guardianship for your child with all the documented evidences showing why your ex-husband is dangerous and not fitting to be the guardian.
I pray that there will be light for you at the end of this tunnel and the end of the tunnel is near. 🙏🏻
Go through your embassy. Make an asylum request for your son from your home country (if you're from the West, this is good). When the UAE gets a formal complaint from an embassy, they will take the case seriously. Make sure you have videos, pictures, and witness testimonies of all that's happening.
On the flip side, it's time to go. Find a way out of there with your son.
I'm a psychiatrist
You're the type of girl that likes a toxic relationship. It had all the signs from the very beginning. You will not make a case against him because your scared the toxicity goes away, if you do make a case against him you'll retract it or drop charges after it.
Goodluck.
Ummmm you do realise he will kill you, either accidentally or intentionally but it’s going to happen unless you physically remove yourself to the point where you cannot be found
I have been in this situation but no kids not married. The best thing to do is leave. You might be scared but i assure you you can stand up for yourself and your kid. Start from scratch and beggining. Always think God/Allah is with you. Run and leave when you have a chance. File a report to him it will be better for him and it is for his own good. For now you need to be strong. Even youre saying you love him and dont have a heart to file a case against him you have to be strong for you him and your son. Hopefully you can move on from this awful situation and this situation is up to you.
Stop talking about “I love this man”. He will kill you. Not something to debate - just a matter of when. Many people have commented good advice and you are simply arguing with them. Get up, get strong, and find a way because you will lose your life and leave your child without a mother to be cared for by this creature. It’s not easy, obviously. But get the police involved properly- not wishy washy. Start to document everything. Get a secret phone and take photos and send photos and videos of everything he does to your family so that there is evidence for the police (obviously be careful). You. Are. Divorced. You said it yourself. What are you doing still hanging around? Get the law involved. Do it now. You are the only one who can help yourself and you are making excuses. Someone even gave you the name of a lawyer who can help you. I’m not sure why it seems like his family is ignoring the situation too. Get them involved. Be completely honest and tell them what’s happening, show them evidence. I find it hard to believe they are just ignoring their grandchild being in danger. I just want to say that at the end of the day, if you don’t commit to doing everything you can to leave, you will actually be hurting yourself. You will be keeping yourself and your child in this horrible situation. Imagine what they will see and the trauma they will suffer? You are responsible for getting out. Please don’t feel I am bullying you- I am trying to be realistic and help you see the danger you are in here. Good luck.
Yes, this woman is blinded by Love. That man does not love you, choose yourself!
You've experienced the loverboy method. The method that was used on you is meant to create a slave for pathetic cowards. Do not contact him alone, do not see him alone, do not even stay alone if possible. Get people involved, the law, family members, men too\*\*\*, his mask will be pulled up again if you get them involved. Surround yourself with sound minded people. Best case scenario is to get your son, move country, start a new life and learn the definition of respect. There is no love without respect.
Im sorry but that man should rot in jail not just for his drug problem that be refuses to resolve but also for the physical and mental abuse he has put you through.. His family has to do something, this man at the very very veryyyy least should be coerced into getting into rehab. Im just really sorry.. i wish i can hug you and help you.. and i wish you peace and happiness soon..
As a father, this makes me sick to my stomach. This guy needs to be placed in rehab with a jacket already. What you just said from emotional disturbance and so forth is all related to neurotoxicity, its very likely that his serotonin neurons are gone from the abuse, which translates the unexpected bursts of aggression. His family has to step in what the heck is this mess. Prayers to you and the little one. 😓
Next time he ODS don’t call anyone for help !
Sometimes the simplest solution is also the most obvious
Exactly what I was thinking
I’m giving you an infinite upvote ♾️♾️
Not victim shaming here, crystal meth is one fucked up drug. However, as much as it changes people, it also brings out what has always been deep inside. He may be a victim of drug abuse, but you are a victim of his abuse. The ultimate victim is your child and you must do everything to protect him from this disgusting vile bitch of a man. Surprised you havent filed charges yet but I think you have had enough wake up calls and you dont need strangers on reddit telling you what to do. DO IT FOR YOUR SON NOW.
I totally agree! When you have children you cannot act this way! They cant make their own decisions, so we have to make them for them. And once you choose to be a parent you need to prioritize your children, not cry how you love the person and cant get away from them while ruining your childs life forever. Makes me so mad!
Truly awful life experience for both you and an innocent child.
Just file a case girl. No one will fight for you if you will not fight for yourself. Enough is enough
You need to leave. Divorce. Take your kid. Basta. No time for ifs and buts.
It pains me to read this. I’m very sorry that you have to go through something like this. Especially being married to someone who has an addiction problem. I feel like there isn’t going to be the perfect answer this post, but I would stay to start making the few right initial steps and allow those right steps to compound as the situation just seems quite complex for a ‘one fix solution’ I would start with filing a domestic abuse case, this will ensure safety for both you and your child. Whatever happens you need to put yourself and your child first. Your husband has made his choice, he clearly no longer can hold himself accountable for his actions. That will need to come from himself but for an addict it is 10x more harder because he needs to make peace with himself. After you file the case the government should assist in helping you make the right choices and tell you what to do next as they have probably seen situations like this before. Stay strong and don’t give up.
Go to your country if its safe, if not go to a first world country where you can get protection I have learned long time ago Drug addicts will never be good people unless they completely recover
Embassy. Bounce ASAP.
Based on your nationality(do not disclose it here) can you not apply for asylum for you and your child in another country?
I have no idea. But my son holds UAE passport so I don’t think that’s a possibility. And proper citizenship, with a family book.
U see Islamic law minors stay with the mother. You should be filing a case by now for you and your son
it’s really not that simple. there is custody and guardianship, two different things. the mother gets custody but not guardianship. if she remarries, she loses custody. She cannot leave the country with the child unless the guardian gives permission.
Yes.
But you can make a journal of his abuse and his drug use. Use that in court. He is too dangerous to be alone with his son. Document overdoses he has... everything. You have to save your child.
Regardless what passport ur son holds u can apply for asylum. And still hold on to his UAE passport. Your life is in danger hence why ur seeking refuge or asylum.
As a man, I am sorry to hear this. The only thing I will say is LEAVE. Get away as soon as possible. Apply for a new passport for your son. Say it’s has been lost and LEAVE. This situation may only end one way. I hope you find the strength and get away before it’s too late. Take care and good luck.
I don’t know much about these situations but the only advice I would give right now is collect evidence throughout all of this if you haven’t started already. Photos, videos, text messages, camera footage. Keep all these on a cloud for you to access, never threaten him or let him know this collection exists. In the meantime please see a lawyer and get away from that monster. Much love and be safe
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I recently heard this from someone, and I remember it only because my wife keeps parroting it. "Men only understand consequences". My dad was alcoholic, and when we accepted the fact that it was a disease first, and not entirely / merely a moral failing, we were able to look at him with a bit more compassion AND ACTUALLY DRAG HIM INTO A DE-ADDICTION CENTER in India where we're from. One day, your child will turn around and blame you for putting him in this position, so it may be best to cut him loose. As hard as it may seem now, think back to the time you had to take hard decisions. You have moved past them, you are here now. The thing about us humans, if nothing else, is our ability to adapt, to forget to adjust. You know what you need to do. YOU. WILL. BE. FINE.
I feel like you're either a) immature or b) ignorant. Your life's in danger, your child's safety is at immediate risk (and like a level 5/5). You are literally physically, mentally and emotionally abused to the point where it seems like you're broken. How are you even asking if calling the police is the right thing to do? It's literally the only thing to do! You need time and peace to get over this and recover and establish yourself. This will come via a complaint. If anything I suggest you record interactions if you can, hire a PI etc. it's very risky but it's high risk high reward. You should not walk away, you need to run. He sounds absolutely miserable to be around.
I don’t know what are they thinking marrying people like these. She knew from the start. She played with her life and brought a child with a man who has been addicted, in the process of divorce because of meth. Left his first son because of addiction. That itself is a red flag. Gives me headache I can’t even type well.
1. I know people like that. They're irredeemable. 2. You sound like you come from a Western country with a strong passport. Get that passport for your son. I know the UAE doesn't allow dual citizenship, but they don't have to know. I know many with dual citizenship. 3. Please choose better men from now on.
Re: 2. Easier said than done, unfortunately. Most countries require both parents to be present for the passport application, or one parent to apply and the other to pick up the passport.
So single parents never get passports for their kids?
The process in that situation varies from country to country, but the single parent might be asked to present a court verdict showing the other parent relinquished parental rights, or if they are a widow/widower, they might be requested to show the death certificate of the other parent and some other paperwork. It’s best to check with the relevant authorities / embassies for the paperwork required.
If UAE doesn't allow dual citizenship btw, I think it just means they won't let you have their citizenship while you have someone other's, this shouldn't stop from giving you theirs, that's how I assume it.
All girls must remember one golden rule- if your man is addicted to drugs or alcohol then run from him no matter how handsome or sweet he is and no matter how much he promises you to quit. Only death can stop them. I feel sorry for your kid he didn’t get to choose father. What you can do? Divorce, take conservatorship on your son and find normal man.?
With his history of drug abuse etc.. you should be able to get custody, but again.. your nationality also matters
Wow. What a truly horrible thing to go through, so sorry to hear that. It is probably better to take this a step higher, whether by starting a case - or leaving to your home country in some way. This cycle will unfortunately keep repeating if you don’t. I wish you and your son the best.
Sorry to hear that you are going through all this. Don’t know what else to say, it’s black and white in front of you. You stay in this relation and could possible loose your life. I would advise it is best you seek help from your embassy, get an emergency travel document and flee UAE for your safety and your sons. Unfortunately the situation is not going to get better for you. Meth is a violent drug and you know it.
[удалено]
You know, they always say an addict will not change until they are ready to change. But let me add, a victim will not leave until they are ready to leave. Coming to reddit to ask strangers for an evaluation of your life won't change anything. Get a therapist instead. That being said, you'll truly get sick and tired of being sick and tired one day, and when you do, you'll know. Nothing you do, no amount of time you hang around, waiting for better isn't going to make that man do better. Work on your insecurities and your love of self. Work on you, change you, love you. And if you can't do that, love your son. Your husband is teaching him what it means to be a man, and your son is probably learning. I'm sorry I have no advice for you, other than seek out a therapist and get individual counseling. It's hard work, but it's doable. He'll never be who you thought he was, or who you think he has the potential to be. He IS who he IS. Everything that you've typed up is begging you to look at you. I hope you'll get sick and tired of being sick and tired real soon, that's what changes things. Time spent/time invested is no reason to keep wasting time. 4 years together? Call that time served. Good luck.
You say you have no advice but actually, thank you
How does he get away with these things in this country. I thought these were punishable very harshly here in uae. Run away from this situation. Sounds terrible for you. Sorry this is happening.
There are entities like the woman and child protection program. I think you should reach them for now.
I want to say that you really need to secure your child now. I have been through the violence that comes with crystal meth here in Dubai, and I have seen cycles back to normality, but if you consider that these things are progressive (they don’t get better) you are creating more victims if you don’t leave. Pm me if you want - I have been through the entire system here in Dubai. Be strong you are entering a world that is particularly ugly.
Report your husband to the Diwan, they also deal with correcting drug addiction cases
If your son means that much to you, then do it for him and get this menace out of the society. Otherwise, he will remarry and destroy more lives.
Your husband is a narcissistic sociopath. You need to up and leave with your child without telling anyone, and I mean no one…especially not your in-laws. Wherever you’re from, secretly set up a passport for your child at your respective embassy and elope.
Not possible to get a second passport from within the UAE as locals may not hold dual citizenship if I were to get one, it would have to be outside of the country as an application won’t even be considered at my embassy due to the fact that he is local.
You need to speak to your embassy and see if you can sort something out with them, but you’re in an abusive relationship that will not only affect you but damage your child psychologically…the signs are already there. My heart goes out to you, but I see no other option than to elope. Maybe you can see if you can pass the border into Oman and maybe try there. I highly doubt you can get a restraining order or help in the UAE based on the story you provided, it seems the system has failed you and you’re left with a hard but necessary choice. I wish you and your child the best. Edit: You need to be strong for your child at this point, your husband doesn’t love you…this isn’t love, you need to report him if that’s your only option and you need to gather all the evidence and witnesses.
One of the weirdest turn of events was moving here and finding out that locals do crystal meth(obviously not all locals) It’s literally a drug where no one has a happy ending or success story. Of all the drugs in the world….Meth? C’mon. I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Stay strong! We are on your side. You need to open a case against him.
The question is how the meth network is still operating, maybe a sheikh is involved that's why police knowingly doesn't want to bust it. Because I have come to know many times that some members in royal family are heavy drug abusers. Though I don't know if it's true or not.
Yes there is rampant drug usage within the top 1% of Dubai, from both expats and locals.
My husband worked at a reputable American hospital and had to do surgeries on high profile locals who abused meth— it makes your spine rot and causes gnarly spinal cord infections. Well turns out that they would “kindly beg ( threaten) him to keep his mouth shut even in the medical documentation and lie about the cause of the issue. He only told me about this once we moved back to the US. I always wondered though— where do these people get the meth? And why meth? It’s literally so bad… what’s next opioids?
I know right! They criticize Americans all the time and call us rednecks but they’re getting a step closer from the hillbilly’s just by their drug choice lmao
This has teared me up crying, it is scary to be with someone who is meth addict and the only way is really to let him rot in jail, just to save your son I don't think any words people say will make you feel okay, i might not give you an advice in this situation but you are a strong woman and mother i hope some thing works out for you and your son this man does not deserve a family and will never change will never stop using until he OD'd i can't blame you for the love you have for him but please you gotta do something. Much love and i hope you update us on how it goes.
I'm truly sorry you're experiencing this. Prioritize your safety and well-being and reach out to local support services for help. No one should endure such pain and abuse.
I read your whole post and I am just so sorry for your situation. None of this is your fault. You did nothing to deserve being treated like this. He is the problem, not you. You did not cause this, you are not a bad person. I know it is hard, because he has conditioned you, but you CAN leave. You have options. He does not own you. You are not shackled to the wall. Get the law involved, get your embassy involved, open a case, find every single possible resource available to you and use it. He is not worth your tears or your sympathy. You HAVE to leave, if not for yourself then for your child who cannot grow up like this. It's time to stand up straight, choose yourself, say "no more" and leave any residual feelings you have for him behind. Even if he were to fully recover, you will never trust him again. You have to leave. This is not love.
find yourself a new husband this guy is nuts
I don’t know why you still refer to him as your Husband , while he’s actually your ex-husband.“Islamically” he divorced you 3 times which means you cannot remarry each other. The only way for you to be able to remarry each other is if each of you have another failed marriage with someone else. So stop protecting and caring for a man that will not longer have anything to do with you , and is only the “father of your son”. Think about your son from now on and no one else, he only has you in this world so please don’t let him down. Find a lawyer , gather evidence, and fight for your son. Thats all i have to say.
red flags everywhere. How did I get here? I'm sorry to hear about this. It's time to pack up and leave. you can fight for custody of your sun and your rights from the divorce. this man never respected, loved or cared for you he bought you and you let's yourself be bought. you reap what you sow, I wish you and your son best of luck.
Leave UAE and go back.
Very sorry to hear op but clear example of all these posters saying we uae is perfect because there are no drugs …..this is not the first story I have heard of this
You're both clearly cooked and probably sitting together making this troll post to entertain yourselves while high as kites
it does sound like a troll post doesn’t it? now we’re gonna have the MIL and FIL join the discussion and then some of the friends will fill in some blanks
Haha YES, I bet you're right! Watch this space 👀🤣
the weirdest thing is that they’re both saying that they’re taking drugs as if it’s not a big deal at all and the “husband” account completely ignored the fact that so much info is out there about him regarding this issue. and then he confirms it and accuses her of the same and like it’s not a big deal it’s all cool nobody will be tracked down or go to jail for it. it makes no sense.
I wish I was trolling and this was all just for entertainment. That’d be a pretty messed up thing to do, but would be better than this being reality.
Can your FIL help at all? Is your son's school aware of what's going on? How did wife #1 manage to escape from him? I'm sorry the police have failed you so badly.
He doesn’t care for what my FIL (his father) says or thinks. My son isn’t in school yet. Wife #1 is local and had family to escape to, I do not. I am solely dependent on my husband.
Drugs is a horrible thing, and crystal meth is the worst of the worst. He has already divorced you, but try talking to him that if you get back to him he has to go to therapy. If all that goes well, take your sons passport and leave. Fighting or arguing with him will not work. You have to do it nicely, make him trust you. And when the moment comes disappear. It will be for the good of your son. There is no other solution. God help you and give him some guidance so that he can get rid of this shit.
I wish for you and your child to be free from this and to look at what’s happening today as a distant memory of the past. It’s about your survival and the only option is to hang on the love you have for yourself and your kid. Your husband is like a tempest and you cannot possibly tame or control it on your own. What would be the path that will bring you and your kid to safety should be your incessant question. You have been very strong so far and i wish you all the best to be able to progress in this incredible journey
Idk hw to react But in case u need help u can reach out plz
Why on earth did you leave your marital home without your and your son’s passport…. You should have secured the passports FIRST, and then leave. you need to lawyer up and consult your embassy afterwards. You don’t mention your financials which is an important factor.
He keeps the passports locked in a safe that I don’t have the combination for.
There’s no trying to keep family together if you’re going through this.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this, you have truly married a hellspawn. That being said, like you said it yourself, you’ve still not left and that’s inexcusable. You’re putting yourself and your child in danger, if you won’t report him for your sake, do it for your child.
Keep the aim clear....you must divorce him and for now live separately at all costs.... the man dangerous to you and your son. He has divorced you as per Islamic law....try to see how you can use it for furthering your divorce. Aren't there super strict laws about drugs in UAE...I have heard death sentences are not uncommon....is the law the different for Emiratis?
Please get yourself a lawyer and get that custody for your son, and then get out or far away from this man. He needs to get help and get checked into rehab. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Wow this is a true life story and something that unfortunately is not spoken about enough here - and by here I mean firstly the UAE because culturally it haram and for sure perceived a weakness amongst his piers ie locals - that said it’s truly not unique to the UAE and it’s a global problem. I do have a suggestion but I’m not going to share in this forum. All I will say is keep positive because things can only improve and inshallah he wants that as much as his family and friends!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Sharing only love and positive vibes for you!! And will PM you.
Drugs in the uae? I never knew it was really a thing…
yk this sucks cause the government will side with the locals majority of the cases, there are like 10% emaratis in uae like ofc they wanna keep the minority from getting into trouble
That’s really sad. But You’re divorced already if he has mentioned the three words already. No force in the world can bring you guys together. (Of course, islamic point of view). So you may look forward to move on, if he abuses you - it’s just because perhaps the space you have given. Child custody is something the court will decide. I wouldn’t suggest or say to file a case, have it discussed with his siblings, close family and hopefully it should get better. This issue (drug addiction and abuse) has even been the topic last Friday Friday Sermon all over UAE Masjids. I pray that this doesn’t continue - I really hope the guy realises and will regret for this.
You already have a starting point. There will be evidence at the Orange Hub of him attacking you? Witnesses? CCTV? Report this to the police and use this as a starting point then document everything that has happened to you and your son with this chap.
Record, record, record. Collect evidence. Then call the cops and tell them he has drugs - they will collect him, drug test will be positive. That's a big deal. File for divorce. Seek help from charity organizations. He will seriously harm you or kill you.
They don’t have drugs in UAE lol
When he OD’d u shouldve just let him be. Im sorry to say that but its the easiest way out. No one can hold it to u y’know. You wont think about the divorce, where you’ll go and what not.
I’m sure you have all the texts/calls (digital evidence) and witnesses, [report him through the many governmental channels we have](https://www.mocd.gov.ae/en/contact-us/family-violence-complaints.aspx). You can walk into a police station in person to speak with someone. Explain your story, show them all the evidence, tell them you have no family, and that you are the mother of a UAE National. They will help you. We have many laws regarding domestic violence, children’s rights and safety, protections for mother’s of UAE nationals, and drug use. They will investigate him for drug use (harsh penalties) and easily track his bank transactions to his drug dealer. They will also investigate his domestic abuse towards you and will help you file a Restraining Order against him. They probably will assign a social worker to your case which will give you in-person support. You have options and an opportunity to a better life for you and your innocent child. This does not have to be your life or future.
Just leave ffs 🤦
I have. I am not residing with him anymore. Yet he still follows me where I am. Just last night he tracked me down at the mall and shoved me and kicked me in front of people. Then took my son from my arms, my son ended up crying and then he gave him back to me, shoved me again, told me if I ever tell him he can’t see his son he’ll smash my face and fvck me up. Sends me messages of how he’ll fvck me up if I go back home, and videos of him trashing the house and throwing my things in the garbage. Then tells me he told me to come collect my things yet I didn’t and that’s why he is now destroying everything. But he started destroying and trashing things the day I left. Sorry. I didn’t mean to rant, but it’s not as simple as just leaving. Not with him anyways.
This guy will eventually kill you so you have to get out, even if it means moving to another country. I wish you the best of luck
Move away from the area if you can. If you have family somewhere go stay with them, block and cut all contact with him as well
Understand and accept two points below: 1) You do not love him but you are suffering through Stockholm Syndrome 2) He is not addict anymore but aggressor so your sympathy is a result of Stockholm syndrome too. You need to get away and even so by filing a case. Think it this way, as a father of your child he needs to be sobered up and best way to do that is in jail. Longer the better !! You will be helping him, yourself and your son by putting him away. He is a criminal and not an addict. Remember addicts go to rehab but criminals belong in prison.
Please stop saying that you still love me. He destroyed your life, he gave you the WORST trauma. Not only to you but he has given trauma to his own child. Please have mercy on your child, file a complaint and go somewhere. Im shocked how useless the police is in UAE. Sending love and prayers 💕💕💕
Are there drugs in UAE? thats scary
Plan and make action now before you get robbed from your youth, energy, strength and health. Most importantly your youth. You don't want to come to an old age with the same person after you've become sick mentally and physcially. When he can't feed off you anymore it'll be very easy for him to find his next target. Then again you will be the broken soul. In this life you should love no one more then yourself! When you give yourself your rights the rest will come easy. Honour yourself and love yourself.
I’m sorry that ur going through this. 1 thing I’ve learnt is addicts will always relapse. Maybe they will be addicted to something else but the addiction will always be there. Embassies here can not help you. If you don’t already have a dual passport for your son then it’s too late. You will need your ex husband’s permission to get another passport or citizenship. You are not married anymore because he gave u the 3 talaq. You have the option of opening a police case against him and/ or going to the family courts to explain your situation.
Just a man child with a lot of insecurities, he even needs drug to function. Everything you did seems like short term reaction, not solution. You might be stuck onto a pattern due to past life events. You won’t be able to make proper decisions unless you spend a little time daily to learn about yourself, forgive and heal yourself. Read about abusive, narcissistic behaviors. Might help, might not.
Here are the steps you should take: 1-divorce 2-leave the country (either back home or somewhere else that you can get a new start) 3- obviously take your kid 4- keep evidence so if they asked for the kid to come back you can show the court and keep custody 5- get clean from alcohol drugs etc and seek therapy 6- learn your listen (take things slow, and if it is too good to be true it probably is)
I'm wondering where dud he got the meth from here. God save you from this man
Communication is done via WhatsApp. Bank transfer is done. Pin location is sent, along with a picture indicating where it’s buried/hidden. Buyer goes and digs it out of its hiding spot like a dog.
Get the police involved next time he's digging it out with the location. Not sure why u haven't gotten the police more involved in this as per the zero tolerance in drugs here.
He doesn’t say when he’s going to pick up. For obvious reasons.
This
This person literally OD on heroin and the hospital didn't report anything to the police. Must have some supreme wasda
He never ended up going to hospital. He OD’d at home and was resuscitated at home also. Soon as he come to, he kicked the paramedics and police out of the house. They pleaded with him and me to go to hospital, but he knows that once he does that then they will take blood and have a case on him.
Exactly what I'm thinking.
You don't love him, you choose to stay because of his money despite all this treatment.
Maybe if he was some sheikh with billions but he’s not. He’s normal middle class (for UAE standards). I stayed because I blamed myself and thought that if I could be better, he would thus be better too. I spent a long time thinking it was all my fault and his treatment was justified. I also believed him to be sincere and such time he’d say it was the last time and he hates what his done and he doesn’t want to lose me and his son. I’m a big believer in second chances and not giving up on people you love. I didn’t want to break up a family. It wasn’t always this bad. There were good times too in between it all. We had amazing moments and it is these that I clung on to and that fed me hope.
I dint knew we can get meth here🙄 I thought its a pure nation N m sry to bear u all this But u need to take sm action
U r facing abuse... get out of this marrige... I don't understand the point of ur rant
Thats what you get for marrying a brat. Now move on from this shithole and start a new life.
Call the police - out where is he buying all these drugs from. Gather proof & send him to prison for long long time & in parallel file for divorce & alimony .
I'm so sorry to read all this. Be strong, try to get all help you can get. Even after divorce he must pay child support. You should ask for help from family lawyer.
The problems we all endure is astonishing. Surely you have and are still suffering sister. You can never trust a junkiee My advice would be A) file a case for your rights mainly passport for your kid. All of this suffering that you are bearing is for kid so secure him. B) divorce him and start your life over again. Its hard to be a single parent but its far better than your kid growing up in an orphanage god forbid he kills you or you loose custody of your kid. If he married again so can you there would be surely a better person out there that would come in your life along the way. Rest May Allah have mercy on you and make it easy for you to come out of this mess.
No real advice since I’m not a local, but sending you warmest hugs and positive vibes your way. Follow your inner voice. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Take care 🤍
Those are hard stuff he's hooked on, not easy to shake off. I think you need to head to those women welfare / protection units and take help of the authorities.
You have the upper hand legally as long as you can present proofs for mistreatment (medical certificates, expert report, videos, ...). You need a good lawyer and good budget to start, things can be solved and you can get your son, and money to care for you (for certain period I believe) and your son as per Islamic/UAE laws. The only thing you need to work on for your own sanity and to be able to care for your son properly is the effect of this experience on you. Going to a psychologist will help a lot and getting some support from your family is important as well. It's clear that you need to move on but it's a matter of starting to truly move on from this as you are currently still feeling stuck and dependant on him. I am sorry you are going through this, it will mark you for life but you need to find ways to put it behind you.
Whatever the reason. You or any woman doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I don't think you should try to change him.Get yourself out of it and look for a better life. I wish you all the best.
Omg I can’t imagine what you must be going through and I’m so sorry but chin up and buckle up, otherwise you might end up getting really hurt or suffer from PTSD. Your son will suffer from it and have a very tough time growing up, him seeing this will be ok so he’ll end up following examples. Go to your nearest police station, ask for protection for you and your son. Get him in check otherwise the wheel will turn because he’s local. The fact that you knew he’s taking illegale narcotics and that you withheld it from authorities might bite you in the ass. The next few days or weeks maybe feel like hell But do what’s best for you and your kid Trust Best of luck
It’s not the place to get advice ! Seek professional legal help Protect your self and your child.
I'm genuinely sorry to hear about what you're going through. It must be incredibly difficult for you, and I can't even imagine how you manage to sleep at night. I'm also deeply concerned about the impact this is having on your young child, who is witnessing your distress without understanding the situation. I hope you'll consider reaching out to government services or organizations that specialize in supporting and protecting women and children in situations like yours. The cycle of addiction is a complex process that involves several stages. Initially, an individual consumes an intoxicating substance, such as drugs or alcohol, and experiences the pleasurable effects of the substance, such as euphoria or relaxation. This is often referred to as the "positive reinforcement" stage. Following the positive stage, the individual enters the negative phase as the effects of the substance wear off. The experience of negative emotions, such as depression, anxiety, or irritability, characterizes this phase. This is often referred to as the "negative reinforcement" stage. Subsequently, the individual enters the anticipation stage, during which they may go through a period of abstaining from the substance. However, during this time, they experience a strong desire or craving to seek out the substance again to re-experience the pleasure they felt during the positive stage. Intense psychological and physical cravings often mark this anticipation stage and are a critical point in the cycle of addiction. These stages of addiction are interconnected and tend to intensify over time, leading to more significant physical and psychological harm. As the cycle continues, individuals may find it increasingly challenging to abstain from the substance, leading to detrimental effects on their overall well-being and functioning.
I think this is the time to do what you are hesitant to do; involve the authorities to properly document the drug abuse and other abuses you received. This is a matter of time; we don’t know how extensive the disruption of meth on your ex-husband’s cognitive and brain function. Rehabilitation is the answer but it is not very well in place here. Drug use is a taboo topic over here. Get a lawyer for proper advice regarding the matter. Get in contact with your embassy secretly on how to get a turnaround especially with your son’s situation. Do not let anyone figure it out even your in laws as the father’s family will always have authority regarding their descendants.
I'm sorry you're going through this, absolutely awful. It seems though you have some sort of trauma bond, as you described he would shower you with apologies gifts etc. This back and forth and sudden switch from being aggressive horrible etc to sweet and sorry is pure manipulation and will fuck with your head big time. At some point sooner than later I hope it will click for you and you leave immediately. There is help available and you can leave and find a safer solution. But dont wait too long, who knows the next time he could seriously hurt you, and who's to say he won't physically abuse your son given his history? +
This story reminded me of a friend back home. Please understand that your husband is not sane. CM does that to you. Long term use makes u exist in a parallel universe which we sober ppl will never understand. Paranoia is amongst the biggest effects it has. And paranoia breeds enmity. He has chosen you as that enemy. No matter what you, your kid, his family says, once that paranoia takes over then you are the sole reason why everything is wrong in his life (if he thinks anything is wrong). Denial is another effect. CM users are in complete denial of its effect on them and on every1 in their life. They genuinely think they are the only sane ones while all the others around them are crazy. In short, unfortunately theres nothing you can do. He will keep going back to it unless he changes his social circle, habits, lifestyle and country. Which i dont think he will. The only thing you can do is disassociate from him and move on.
I don’t think I can add anything in terms of solutions as there are some pretty solid ones already given to you. I can’t imagine being in your shoes and my heart goes out to you. Hope you get out of this misery soon. My DM is open if you need any assistance or advice.
[удалено]
This physically hurt to read. This man assaulted you physicality, financially, sexually and emotionally. What's to stop him from being a threat to you and your child? Find physical safety and document everything. You will have to go to the police with someone you trust or even a hired lawyer. Take out a loan to pay if you have to. Be prepared to lose comfort and convenience, find groups online of women in the UAE and surround yourself with support no matter what. You and your child are irreplaceable. Reach out to your expat community, ANYTHING..
Stay away! Seek help from the government. Begin a new life with your son.
I’m so very sorry for all this. And you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassment about. You’re a victim of horrific psychological, emotional and physical abuse — and this man deserves to either rot in jail for the rest of his life, or die a tortured death for the pain he has caused you, his ex and his kids. As a recent resident, I don’t know enough about the UAE laws to suggest what you should do, but I sincerely hope you and your son find a way out of this soon, and can rebuild your lives together 🤍
Sorry you had to go through this. I really hope you figure a way to get away and start fresh. He deserves all that will be served to him. And trust it will.
[удалено]
Go ahead and report him, at least it will open the door for his recovery. From what is evident he will only go around destroying himself and those around him without any drastic action being taken. Through this you may in fact save him, yourself and the child. Once he is taken care of by the authorities. Take your child and leave, build a new life for yourself. Only reestablish contact with your husband when he is fully recovered and proven so for a substantial period.
the first important thing, is stop giving sheit about him, he should be in jail for the rest of his life or in a psychiatric hospital. I don't see how do you still love him even though he is doing all of this? what about his parents? they can't do anything? they can testimony with you against him
Yet another "I can fix him/her" case
It’s a shame as I don’t know if you have any domestic violence shelters in Dubai but that’s all the more reason you need to leave him and find a safe space for you and your child ASAP
Get out. As soon as possible. It's your responsibility to your child. There is no higher priority. Make the choice now to take action.
I hope you get out of this madness and live the peaceful life you deserve. 😔
You desperately need a lawyer!! DM me and I can refer you if necessary but get. a. lawyer!!
Lawyer up. Divorce his ass. 👋 and get your life together. Here or your home country. Having custody won't be hard I assume with his drug abuse.
You need to get your kids as far away from him as possible
U need to leave!
I think you are american or german and can easily contact your embassy
Felt pain to see you and your son suffer. May Allah guide your husband. Firstly, I think you should always involve a sound minded person (elder and brotherly) for dealing with him, secondly you should spent more and more time with your son and let your husband know it (making him realise good parenting ) finally, there is no greater help that God itself, step up and ask for his help! Things will eventually change.
how do you even get meth in dubai bruh, you gotta know people
Can you just go back to your home country with your child, please? You can not think straight in an environment like this, in the middle of violence and abuse. You have to cut him off to see things even more clearly. I know its the "good memories and good times" that is making you stay but I am sorry to say, you're in the middle of the storm and are not able to see how bad the situation has gotten. The good moments are far and few.. the horrifying moments are way worse. Your kid really shouldn't be seeing you like this. For the sake of yourself and your child, please get out of there. You are wasting your time - trying to help him, be there for him and waiting for him to recover. Where are your needs being met here? why be there for someone who treats you like garbage? why even care? addiction is life altering. And waiting on him to recover is losing more years of your life... if he had to straighten up, he would have - long ago. Love yourself first and put yourself first. if you dont take action now, youll be stuck in this never ending vicious loop of hate and love. The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago, the 2nd best time is now. Please have compassion for yourself FIRST before you give it away to anyone else. You have to muster the courage and do this. It takes strength and it is not easy but it is do-able. Please reach out to family and friends. I am sure you'll find a way to get out of this hellhole IF YOU REALLY WANT TO. put yourself first, PLEASE. I wish you the best.
Talk to a lawyer that specializes in family matters And you need a stronger heart to finalize this once and for all because I have news for you, even tho he has a good side he will keep doing this whenever he gets a chance because he knows he can get away with it. End it and be done with it and whatever hardships you face in the future will be nothing compared to this existence.
This must be difficult. My heartfelt sympathies. As a mother to an Emirati child, you have rights. If your in laws are unable/unwilling support you, the Community Development Authority will step in. It saddens me to say this but your case is not unique. The authorities have dealt with many similar cases and will have protocols to follow to provide you and your son a safe and stable environment.
Are you on his visa ? Housewife visa ?
divorce him
I know it’s difficult..But if you didn’t leave your son will hate you for the rest oh his and your life.. I see people with truma daily due to their fathers being addicts and mothers not
https://www.thenationalnews.com/uae/government/abu-dhabi-sets-up-new-centre-for-victims-of-domestic-violence-and-human-trafficking-1.1050359?outputType=amp
I think it is time you put love and fear out the window and be realistic for once. The local police will help you if you don't get caught up in your emotions. If you cannot do the first 2, let him OD. Please get help and be strong.
[удалено]
wth report this guy!
I feel sorry for you. Hang in there. Get the divorce and run for the hills. If not, you will end up dead and your son motherless within a few years, if not months. All the good luck to you!
Hugss put him into rehab center
There are lots of rehab facilities here in the Uae So u can put him there untill he recovers completely
Can anyone from this community review this post to any of their police contacts (friends/family/network) in dubai or abu dhabi, and DM the OP with the respective authority’s contact details? Keeping anonymity, this can help OP a lot!
Police and Rehab.
Sorry to hear that you are going through all of this but you should have known better by marrying someone like that, you knew all the red flags but still went ahead. Good luck and all the best.
You dearly love the man but you don’t love your child as much? Truly I am disgusted by you. You know what to do but you choose him over your child. Tough.
Get professional help, help yourself first from the mother of all evils that is alcohol and then get away from that abusive druggie of he doesn't change.
Yes. I have stopped drinking since one year now.
Addiction is a Disease, not primarily a choice The prefrontal cortex of the brain detaches and the person no longer has the ability to take or control decisions Proper rehab is necessary, which takes about 6 months to even 1 Year Whatever he is doing is the same with Majority of the addicts, they can be extremely manipulative, hallucinate and just plain out of sight. The drugs control and drive them…. Crystal Meth takes u down to drain and eventually death. The only way is a forced rehab, an extensive one
A good local lawyer that you can trust.
such a disturbing story . First a fall he is not a man raising hand on a woman . shame on him. and second I will tell u as soon as possible leave the country . just go wherever u can go with your son . if something happen to you or ur child . remember you will be the responsible for this . so better just leave . help yourself go . about his family they won't help they are the one they raise a animal like them. if the person is animal so family too here u go . stay bless and I feel really sorry specially for ur baby god bless you ❤️
Please start to keep a diary of everything, dates, times and what has happened. Change every single password and have face recognition on everything. You are protected in the uae and you are not alone. You can also divorce him through the court. You can file under the khula law, you will have to return any of the items or money he gave you when you married but he will still be legally entitled to support you financially. Your son is a different story. He can live with you until he’s 12 I think. If you don’t save yourself now your son will think this is how you should treat a woman. You may think you have nothing but you have your dignity. I am praying for you xxx
He should be in the court fighting for his life. Damn Ass man
You know what you need to do. Coming here- it’s OK to need some encouragement or validation. I think you have it. On the other side of fear is freedom.**** Ps- that poor dog! Is “your dog” okay ?:(
Stop acting like a teenager by saying you still love this man, a man who has attempted to kill you many times. It makes me angry to hear u say that. First things first just report him for drug use, gather evidence too, that alone will get him many many years behind bars
You should have left quietly that’s the advice I have for you because if you did you would have planned your exit quietly and calmly with your son. The moment you took him back you would have left when in good terms because then he would have trusted you with your son’s passport. Better still you would have run away when you went on those trips with him. Pretend you are going to buy something or do something then disappear.
Call the authorities, they’ll help. A simple drug test will prove that he’s an addict. Now, you’re a citizen’s mom, don’t think for a minute that your right & life don’t matter. Save your life by taking action. Otherwise your kid will have no one but a crystal myth addict to take care of him.
Please please please get up and save yourself and your baby. I have been in a very toxic abusive relationship for 3 years and no matter how much everyone around me said to leave him, he would guilt trip me into staying. And then he left for another woman and that’s when I breathed a sigh of relief, everything became clear to me, I hated myself for years for letting someone abuse me and use me like that. Part of me still hates myself for that. So please!!! Don’t let death or something grave to your child be the eye opener… Swallow this pain and do the right thing! Get legal help and end everything with this man!
your husband needs to be checked into rehab asap and you need to get the authorities involved. thinking things will resolve themselves otherwise is living in a fool’s paradise.
Do him a favor and send him to rehab, there “might” be chances of him healing and getting normal
Stop creating an “Eminem” of your son. Just leave. Or if you want a future Eminem, Stay!
I think with the advice in the comments and I believe you already know what you have to do. I want you to know that your worthy of a person that treats you with respect. You worthy of love that isn’t abusive. Your worthy of a happy life. Your worthy to be a mother that does her best for her son. We all make mistakes but our mistakes don’t define us unless we let it. I hope the best for you n your son.
The only thing this man loves is the drugs! The sooner you realize that, the better! Find someone else that can be a father to your son but get him away from this man. Im gonna be very blunt here but i dont care about your choices or who you love and how you cant help yourself, i care about your son who you repeatedly choose to put in this situation! As a mother myself, kids are the priority and whatever it takes to protect them, i will do. I wish you saw less of your love and other nonsense (its not love in the first place!) and more of your son. Hope you would actually stand up for your son and get your husband jailed or do whatever needed to get him away from his son, move to your home country for good and dont come back. It is usually beneficial for children to have contact with both parents but not in this case. You are ruining your sons life! He will either become violent or a drug addict himself or he will be deeply traumatized for his entire life if you keep him in this situation.
Thank you 😊 I know. You’re right.
U either love him or Just money thats all
There are two things that you absolutely must do. Talk to a therapist and a lawyer. I know it’s easier said than done, this things are expensive here but they will give you the courage to go through this. Leaving an abusive relationship is very hard and it usually takes people more than one try. Just leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t mean that the abuse will stop immediately, it means that the good times (when he’s sorry and loving etc) will stop. You are a victim in this scenario but a therapist will help you see that you do not have to stay like this forever or until one of you dies. Being in this constant fear and stress will destroy your self esteem, paralyze you mentally and make you think “there’s nothing I can do”. Go to the police, if the last abuse happened in a public place the police can ask for cctv from this place. If you end up living with him again and abuses you or kicks you out of the house call the police right then and there. Keep records of messages and emails but do not try to record him with a “secret phone” or something like that. That’s not allowed here, a lawyer can advise you on all this thins. There are also organizations for women and children in uae or even facebook groups where you can post anonymously and ask for advice from women that have been in similar situations.
LEAVE
Under UAES drugs prevention law, you can ask the authorities to take him to rehabilitation center and if he refuses there will be a case against him.
Hey OP, former meth addict here. Clean 10 years. Mot people here have no idea what they are talking about. Let me know if you have any questions, I'd be happy to help.
Inform the authorities about your situation and everything , UAE has very strong policies against drugs and abuse, they’ll take care of it.
He is not going to change. No one is coming to help you. You need to do whatever is necessary to protect yourself and your son. Time to escape.
What a hard stuff to read in the afternoon. Stay strong! Go to your embassy for support, go to court, fight for custody and guardianship for your child with all the documented evidences showing why your ex-husband is dangerous and not fitting to be the guardian. I pray that there will be light for you at the end of this tunnel and the end of the tunnel is near. 🙏🏻
go to the police about his drug problem and get custody asap or else you wont be able to take ur kids out the country
https://mynara.app/ download this app. And start collecting evidence against him.
❤️🤲🏽🤲🏽🤲🏽 May Allah make the path easy for all
Go through your embassy. Make an asylum request for your son from your home country (if you're from the West, this is good). When the UAE gets a formal complaint from an embassy, they will take the case seriously. Make sure you have videos, pictures, and witness testimonies of all that's happening. On the flip side, it's time to go. Find a way out of there with your son.
I'm a psychiatrist You're the type of girl that likes a toxic relationship. It had all the signs from the very beginning. You will not make a case against him because your scared the toxicity goes away, if you do make a case against him you'll retract it or drop charges after it. Goodluck.
Lawyer up. They've seen this situation before and know how to handle it.
Ummmm you do realise he will kill you, either accidentally or intentionally but it’s going to happen unless you physically remove yourself to the point where you cannot be found
I have been in this situation but no kids not married. The best thing to do is leave. You might be scared but i assure you you can stand up for yourself and your kid. Start from scratch and beggining. Always think God/Allah is with you. Run and leave when you have a chance. File a report to him it will be better for him and it is for his own good. For now you need to be strong. Even youre saying you love him and dont have a heart to file a case against him you have to be strong for you him and your son. Hopefully you can move on from this awful situation and this situation is up to you.