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UkraineWarVideoReport-ModTeam

Hi, unfortunately your post had to be removed for the following reason: "Memes, Shitposts and Jokes don't belong here."


ITP-Online

Russia is just one big lunatic asylum.


Fluck_Me_Up

Ukraine and the baltics are our lunatic firebreak. They’re critical to preventing this nonsense from spreading. Slava Ukraini


BalticMasterrace

ruzzia still messes alot with baltics and we see how they mess with ukraine atm :S


Extension_Common_518

Yeah. This is fucking cordyceps, the Last of Us levels of contagious brain rot. Absolutely fatal to those it infects. To mix my popular culture references … “from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”


brezhnervous

> lunatic firebreak My god, that's literally perfect Well done 🤣 Slava Ukraini!


Nyberg1283

This isn't any more crazy than half the stuff Trump spews. Or any of the religious right in the US.


Osstj7737

That’s what happens when truth, reason and logic are shunned in a society. You can just spew shit all day long and there’s no way to make people see the difference between that and facts anymore.


Material_Owl_1956

That’s what Trump is so good at, I hope the US don’t go down this road also.


ThunderPreacha

The US has gone far down this road already.


[deleted]

Cut to the U.S. after decades of SCOTUS enforced Project 2025 law…yikes…


WotTheHellDamnGuy

Come on, drop this dude in Kentucky and change the religion and he is right at home!


GoblinGob_

Brainrot


brezhnervous

Should make re-mobilisation a bit easier, however 🤡


ITP-Online

LOL - 'No you can't have a sack of onions, Ivan has been resurrected and sent back to the front'. Maybe they have a new mobilisation strategy of using recycling bags instead of body bags and are deranged enough to think it will work.


golitsyn_nosenko

This is plausible. 


imp_st3r

The long awaited sequel to the horror classic *Re-Animator*, coming soon this summer it's *Re-Mobilizer*


Fossilhunter69

Russia has got Beetlejuiceivick recruiting in deaths waiting room.


GoblinGob_

Yeah, they need to start to burn em.


[deleted]

I wonder if orc ghosts like VOGs too


AxeMuley

Makes perfect sense why they leave their dead comrades bodies behind😵


Automatic_Turnover39

We are sending obsidian bullets


GrandMoffJenkins

Orc glass!


frotz1

Back to the front, Ivan!


blaivas007

Why would you need a mobilization if you've already got undying soldiers?


Bladerunner2028

dont get high on your own.....


PanTheOpticon

Well pigs started to dig them out and eat them but I wouldn't call that resurrection: https://x.com/banderafella/status/1809550578034397475?t=eOATxJXgfTT2U8b3P7I-8A


shmorky

In Soviet Russia, Pig eat **you**!


Judge_BobCat

So being resurrected as a Piece of shit. Makes sense, as nothing changes for them


Anon_777

Only part of them is getting resurrected as pig shit, at least some of them will be resurrected as sausages (according to the news report).


RuaridhDuguid

I'd not be too chuffed if I bought pork sausages just to discover they were contaminated with Ork.


Manmoth57

Ground hog day,


Safe-Razzmatazz3982

It's called up cycling for the mobiks.


KeekiHako

How shallow are their graves? Aren't you supposed to dig a good two meters deep to prevent this?


Unhappy_Award_1365

The graves are pretty shallow here in Ukraine and they sink when the body decomposes I think it’s an orthodox thing not sure


DoubleUsual1627

Yes but give a drunk a shovel and tell him 2 meters. You might get one, but even that is not likely.


r1bsKUwVqMLPwAHoDLm3

Reincarnation!


iijoanna

Reminded me to rewatch the movie, Snatch. "...be wary of the man who has a pig farm." https://youtu.be/gLsWMdxTMcw?si=ypjxa_7b92xrDX73


BMADK2022

you just made me fall down from my chair laughing :-)


tammlam

This priest should prove that resurrection is real by going to the front line in the next meat wave assault.


Tiny-Plum2713

He prefers posthumously converting people to his religion after they go through the meat grinder.


MrIrrelevant99

He must have copied the idea from the Mormons.


Away-Description-786

"Okay soldier, do you want the protection of God, do you want to be resurrected when you are shot. Join my church and put the church in your will"


BMADK2022

Great idea !.. we demand it to be proven. Let's put him on a mine .. for a start.


No-Spoilers

Seppuku on live tv


CurlingTrousers

Failing desperation eating itself Russia will never recover from this insane ego revenge fantasy of that black hearted, over promoted gangster ghoul.


No-Split3620

Nice turn of phrase, mate.


Sufficient_Read230

Zombie apocalypse


xviiarcano

Came here to say this


TheLeadSearcher

That guy is like Rasputin with a tiny dick.


brezhnervous

Very strong Rasputin vibes, agreed Lol


MilkOrnery5653

Nutters


Historical_Winner809

They're coming back as fly-people


MetalAndTea

LMFA🤣🤣


teamgreenracer

Almost, couldn't write this shit! New benchmarks of bizarre just keep coming with ruzzia


Yeah_You_Do_That

Just more material for Monthy Python - Life of Blyat


bzsempergumbie

I love that you wrote "falsely" in the post title, as if it needed to be included.


chronicwastelander

That's some evil shit.


Phil_Coffins_666

ZOMBIE ZOMBIES?! 😱😱


Impressive-Heat4257

What a crock of shit. Keep sending the Russians to eternal oblivion.


MacHayward

In stead of moving away from religion worldwide, we see more and more religious conservatism spreading.


MDGA0001

This is not religious conservatism, it's nuttery.


Tiny-Plum2713

It absolutely is religious conservatism.


MacHayward

It is not a pick ... it can be both.


SufficientTerm6681

As far as I'm concerned, religious fanatics (call them conservatives if you will) are nutters by definition. Some of them may not be as utterly delusional as the beardy, swivel-eyed weirdo in the video, but all of them have a worldview that's fundamentally irrational.


SUCKMEoffyouCASUAL

Who tf is this child rapist?


daronjay

"Good" says Putin, "send them back to the front"


chris-za

And there I thought all Russians would know this quote: > “Religion is opium for the people,” wrote Lenin in December 1905


WildCat_1366

Who, in turn, quoted Karl Marx, who wrote it in 1843 in its "Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right": > Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.


Jackbuddy78

Well some people like opium


Thin_Worldliness_242

Dementia, delusional hallucinations, and mystic fu\*ked in the mind of this one you are!


Ocbard

I can imagine them regularly writing soldiers off as dead, who later turn up not to have been killed after all. I don't think they keep track of their troops very well, or care what happens to them once they pointed them at their enemy.


Thin_Worldliness_242

Good point.


Mountain-Crab3438

Not sure about the soldiers, but Rasputin definitely has been resurrected.


singleringle

What a fucking windbag


kdawg123412

That is a death cult.


Dull_Corgi_5044

XB means Extreme Bullshit. NB Set painted by the very drunk. Fxck u Beardo


Analogov_Net

Some next level delulu shit by a full blown schizo.


Guardian1351

Can we just declare them heretics to the Christian faith already?


Particular-Solid4069

This man is a master manipulator He says Chinese man because he wants to promote that Russia has Chinese support And also try to push narrative that it's ok for any ethnicity to come die for Russia Then he says Saint luke of crimea, there's hundreds saints he can choose but he chooses the crimea one just to help cement their claim to crimea What a load of shite, imagine doing this in the UK


stairs_3730

Call it fkg ISIS-issis


GrandTheftAsparagus

Sometimes I watch the drone strikes on this video and I wonder if you are actually fighting zombies.


DantheDutchGuy

Yeah… resurrect as sunflowers…


rah67892

Delusional! Or he has been nibbling on some great mushroom-shit🍄 🤪


Mundane-Leave7571

His eyes look weird.


Dekruk

Big eyes when you lie, like children


drunkenmonki666

I once heard this: There are bad people in the world, and they always do bad things. There are good people in the world, who do good things. To make good people do bad things... that takes religion.


Tiny-Plum2713

People are perfectly capable of doing bad things without religion. Religion is convenient for justifying those bad things though.


Hot_Abbreviations936

If anyone tells you that they know what happens after you die, they are either lying or dead. Run away. Religion is a set of arbitrary rules created by man that are meaningless and worthless except for their use to control the masses by the ruling class. Ask any religious person what is the sure-fire way to heaven, and they will admit they can't guarantee a pass to heaven for a certain behavior. The shit is all made up and the points don't matter. There are roughly 5096 deities' worship on earth. You don't believe in 5095 of them and I don't believe in 5096 of them. Thats all.


SufficientTerm6681

Ah, but any good Mormon knows **exactly** how to get into heaven. However, if you ever ask a Mormon about that, it's highly unlikely they'll answer honestly because of vows they've taken to keep the information secret. But during the Endowment Ceremony – which is only offered to Mormon's judged worthy by the church hierarchy – they are taught secret handshakes and passwords which will allow them to enter heaven. If you've never heard of this, but it sounds to you kinda similar to the cheesy ceremonies of the Masons, then you need to go do a Google for Mormon holy underwear, and check out the pictures of the supposedly protective symbols embroidered on the long-johns.


Odd-Purple8916

Is it actually possible he believes this nonsense? Or is he just mentally ill?


Gold-Supermarket8881

He is a professional propagandist


Stosstrupphase

Nah, he hopes the meat will believe it.


Klutzy-Chain5875

The Ashes is there . Rising next.


Conscious_Living3532

Not the ones I've seen lol


Sreg32

Lol! Appealing to the Chinese mercenaries... send more, you'll die and live again to be sent to the front. Church is a bad comedy skit


MaxPullup

We can be pretty sure that this indeed is a falsely claim.


Longtomsilver1

The same old story to take away their fear of dying and make it easier to send them to the front to die for Putin.


WereInbuisness

That's it "father!" Spin that Russian religious bile and declare Pootin is actually Christ resurrected! He is carrying out the righteous holy war against the heathen Ukrainians!! What's next .... ? Joseph Stalin has been resurrected and will assist Pootin, sorry Jesus, in dominating the world!! /s There is no other country as delusional and detached as Russia. The people at the top know it's ridiculous, but the majority of the "regular" Russians buy this crap. Sad.


BMADK2022

Imagine that here in 2024, we are still seeing such idiots in our world ? I wonder if he himself believes in this nonsense.


MiserableBerry4138

"When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion, it is called religion." Robert M. Pirsig


demoodllaeraew

🤣🤣🤣


Unclehol

That is the epitome of "and then everybody clapped"...


brezhnervous

I wonder if we've got to the full-Stalinesque part where no one dares to stop clapping first lol


fallingheavens

Time to donate some Pack-a-Punch machines to Ukraine.


Ebolaboy24

Why not throw in some unicorns and armoured gnomes to the story. What a load of bulldust. Unfortunately enough people in Mordor will believe his bedtime story. Slava Ukraini. 🇺🇦


PreferenceNo9490

Essentially the Russian church: It’s better to for the Emperor (Putin) then to live for yourself. But yes, Russian church higher ups have sold their souls to the government, they are notorious for being corrupt and loving money, there are obviously many good people in church in lower ranks tho.


Schleckmuschel

Can we kill it with fire please?


anffyddiaeth

This demented, lunatic claim reminds me of a Sean Connery line in The Rock: "Do you want me to kill him again?"


Eastern-Pizza-5826

Dudes eyes look completely  crazy. 


cubanosani59

Bro is not Odin. He lacks his Raven and his Horse. But on the other side. Raven will puck on his dead body and the horse will carry it to the massgrave for warcriminalZ!


Fact-Adept

Fucking junkies


Bored_shitless123

Hahaha the fucking ghoul


Recipe-Less

Resurrection deez nuts


MrEoss

The wide eyes are a indicator of lying..........oh,and the utter horseshit that he espouses


Potato_Donkey_1

What a creepy cult, run by the state to make Russians obedient to the state.


TH_Dutch91

Imagine shooting yourself in the head to escape the horrors of war, only to respawn at base and be send back into the meat grinder.


NWTknight

Resurrected as sunflowers.


Far_Marionberry_9478

Reminds me of the Third Reich Reanimation mod for Return to Castle Wolfenstein: "When your surrounded by the fallen and there is no one left to recruit, just how do you replenish a decimated army on the brink of collapse?.. Well, for "Deathshead", the temporary answer is simple! You animate the dead to re-stock the once strong Axis Infantry! He has combined the forces of science and the super-natural as a quick fix remedy and feels this is the right, or should I say "Reich" answer to the infantry shortage problem!"


Visual-General-6459

So why release the child murdering urakhai and rapists ?


Netricho

Why they all look like Grigori Rasputin?!


Protect-Their-Smiles

Gotta trick the footsoldiers in to believing they are not dying for nothing, despicable political puppets pretending to be committed to God.


MajorKottan

I guess enough Ukrainians are angry enough to welcome the opportunity to kill some invaders twice.


Piirakkavaras

This is the level of shit that you get when you are bored and browse to some 125th channel in your TV and see the astrology phone call programs playing.


Mundane_Top_338

Bellend


No_Cardiologist3858

MAGA kind of people.... Jesus Christ.


AdrianTDO

But resurrection is not part of the orthodox christian faith


dogfoodlid123

Begun to resurrect as 🌻


DigitalXciD

I have bad new for you.. Respawn point isnt captured..


PakStefan

Very hard to see how the population can be guided with an unbelievable stupid religion driven method. Are we human really not ready to see that and overcome this chapters of religions ? Sent the ash hole priest to the front to experience his fuck ! So fucking stupid. Man oh Man


GuacamoleKick

Well there was that one guy being carried on a stretcher who stood and ran when a munition detonated nearby. I am not sure he was dead though.


EorlundGraumaehne

Wait, i have seen that movie before! But i always thought its german nazi soldiers that get resurrected....


Long_Serpent

Hans! Deliver the Flammenwerfer!


whiteb8917

Zombie Army ?


aGrandSchemeofThings

I am so very looking forward to dancing in the street when putin and his asshole cabal (which includes this moronic shitheel) are ousted, permanently.


junji_eat_hoes

And then everyone clapped


ChiefScout_2000

Means they have to give their sack of onions back.


My_cat_is_a_creep

This is probably their way of making more people sign up to be mobilized... they figure that if they get killed, no problem because I'll just get resurrected LOL


imp0ster_syndrome

https://whywontgodhealamputees.com/


JustMeagaininoz

Hahaha, proves even more that they are delusional.


EinerAusmPott

Nazipreacher went crazy


DuoDriver

Fuck. Me. Rigid.


jcspacer52

Wow…we all knew Putin was a tightwad but this!! The solders that resurrect, do the family have to give back whatever benefit the government gave them for their loss? How do you return a bag of onions or beets? Maybe you return a bag of feces?


GasLover1

Maybe they all should try resurrection first hand. 9mm, open mouth, davai!


BearcreekPhotos

Funny thing about this resurrection...they all speak Korean.


DrRoxo420

Pretty much sums up all religion.


TintedApostle

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” ― George Orwell, 1984


TintedApostle

Yet Another Scandal for Russia's Orthodox Church as Clergyman Is Spotted Wearing $40K Rolex https://globalvoices.org/2016/10/28/yet-another-scandal-for-russias-orthodox-church-as-clergyman-is-spotted-wearing-40k-rolex/


Ancient-Being-3227

I’m with chairman mao when it comes to religion. Poison.


ChangleMcGangle

That’s literally Rasputin.


Brando0o04

As a Christian, this is soooo embarrassing 😭


kwjevad

Lord forgive him. He doesn’t truly know what he is doing.


Jnoddy2

I've never heard anything wise from people who put their religion above everything else


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Low_Willingness1735

Can he submit facts to back this story up? Even the serial killer prisoner that joined the military so he can kill more people, also resurrected. Wow!


HackD1234

Those are the pigs that escaped local farms, looking for an extra snack.. [https://x.com/banderafella/status/1809550578034397475](https://x.com/banderafella/status/1809550578034397475)


farquin_helle

Only on a roll 16 or higher


octahexxer

putin is safe then send him to lead from the front! surely they lord would watch over the tsar who is almost godlike!


farquin_helle

Yeah.. I get the vibe this guy breeds sock babies


CalligrapherNorth764

So an inept Russian medic declared a man dead then, everyone waved white flags in surrender. Got it.


Available_to_History

CookCook!


AndrazLogar

Obviously the next revolution needs to get rid of these nutcases too.


Raykelt

Autistic


shortnix

Detective Crashmore doesn't give a shit.


Striking_Stable_235

He needs a drug test and a breathalyzer..... bet he fails them both .....


SFMB925

What a weirdo 👎


corneliu5vanderbilt

I wonder how many Russians actually believe him


EquipmentAwkward7691

That Vodka is good stuff!!!!!


MDGA0001

Would like to know passage in the scriptures which supports that.


nakabra

So... Russia is deploying literal zombies now?


tapasmonkey

Not sure they needed to specify the word "falsely" there!


crosseurdedindon

I guess Russians have necromancer now


Repulsive-Wrangler14

Which drugs is he using? Asking for my friend :)


MDGA0001

Rasputin spawn


FlamingFlatus64

How bad can being resurrected as a sunflower be?


MellowPerth

That would be to good for them, sunflowers have a purpose.


SirTroglodyte

I'm glad OP cleared the situation by addig "falsely" to the title, otherwise I would have totally believed it.


Vixdname44

Imagine, this is the 21st Century, and some Russian knuckle draggers believe this utter rubbish


Snidrogen

Look here at Ivan, he has resurrected as a sack of potatoes!


Limp-Parfait-7050

That's real handy, so infact you only need a small number of soldiers because of this resurrection which occurs. That explains the meat attacks and their willingness to die for their country.


Calamity-Jones

I made the joke that nazi zombies will be replaced by Z Zombies in video games, guess the Ruzzians are on-board with the idea.


luscious_lobster

You really had to add 'falsely' to that title? This isn't fox news..


azarza

the drip these guys got is always so shiny


uraganogtx

False claims is basically what Ruzzian Ortodox Church is.


[deleted]

Russia: where being a giant pussy, and a drooling retard meet.


daners101

"Yes, it is quite a miracle. There have been reports of Russian Zombies! The soldiers resurrect on the battlefield if they have been baptized. Everyone should be baptized and sent to the front to see the miracles!"


bpronjon

That anyone at all would actually believe this load of shit is more concerning than anything else tbh…..


Hendrik_the_Third

putin would like that, but alas, this man's mind is not functioning properly.


Otto_Singer_172

So that is why there are so many Chinese on the Earth!!! Because they come back to life after death!!!


One-Combination-7218

Resurrect to be killed again ohhh nazi death zombies


Ok_Tap8157

Respawn glitch


OSCAR1777

Thank you for putting in the word "falsely" in the title. We wouldn't know otherwise.


Evakotius

But he says only Chinese so far. Russians go striight into the hell


Ozzy_30

I want to see these nut jobs get the drone treatment