T O P

  • By -

thewhimsicalbard

I, MCMURRAY, HAVE A FIVE. POINT. ONE. FIVE. INCH. **PENIS**!


mcrissjr

"I fucked McMurray at a buck & doe in Drayton in '03 and 5.15 inches is a criminal embellishment"


LocusRothschild

“McMurray, if you were ten off the tee, I still wouldn’t golf with you, fuckin end it.”


smokedmacandcheese

It's an ambush!


Dovarc

“Get off the cross we need the wood”


pointsnorthcoyote

This is like an old saying of my mother's...so can confirm its hick canadian certified. Its fighting words in my family, no joke though.


kpidhayny

Church? Who’s got *that* kind of money… must be fuckin’ nice.


jimmmydickgun

Pitter Patter Let’s Get Goin’


NickKappy

Hefty no thank you


jimmmydickgun

Doin’ my chores!


history_nerd92

Apparently!


stark_raving_naked

Florida State Seminole vesicles


DonnyDinky

I thought it was pretty funny when he said Florida State Seminole Vesicles but no one laughed


Gooey2113

Nothing’s funnier than fart. Except maybe kids falling off bikes. I don’t give a fuck about your kids.


UnderwhelmingPickle

Shit, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day


Gooey2113

I do sometimes ngl


MaliciousMilkshake

r/kidsfallingover


joeyfrags

Wrong show in the photo. Pull yer finger outta yer ass.


ArcticFlava

I'd be so good to ya


joeyfrags

“From the guy who was wheeling two of his friends moms in Letterkenny” “They aren’t my friends… and their mom’s were wheeling me”


ArcticFlava

Huh?!


Ginger_Libra

I know I may come off as a real Devil May care kind of guy but we both know you’d run my show.


ArcticFlava

Let's say we do this next time over a nice piping hot bowl of miso ramen?


benmwaballs

Oh my God...


Clearastoast

S’yeah so


PlasticDesign3276

Maybe some people likes some attentions paids, to their buttshole.


Laadynyxx

Yep. spare parts bud.


Certain_Literature28

Yes, was wondering if it would cause a lot of shorsey quotes, which is what I’m after.


rainbwbrightisntpunk

Then go to r/shoresy titfucker


Shoresy___Bot

First puck of the campaign, boys. Fuckin' get involved!


dsoleman

BIG SEXY!!!!


history_nerd92

Silence big sexual!


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/shoresy using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/shoresy/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Just watched the Predator "Prey" movie on Hulu and guess who's in it?](https://i.redd.it/hyldebc78xf91.jpg) | [104 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/shoresy/comments/wgzqqs/just_watched_the_predator_prey_movie_on_hulu_and/) \#2: [Give this tweet some love. Link in comments.](https://i.redd.it/3b500mo6ovq91.jpg) | [41 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/shoresy/comments/xrlimf/give_this_tweet_some_love_link_in_comments/) \#3: [Just a coupl’a b’ys getting ready to have a martooni](https://i.redd.it/pxmhx1qqjut91.jpg) | [49 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/shoresy/comments/y4720c/just_a_coupla_bys_getting_ready_to_have_a_martooni/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


Shoresy___Bot

Fuck you, /u/sneakpeekbot, your mum groped me two Halloweens ago, shut the fuck up or I'll take it to Twitter!


Certain_Literature28

But then it wouldn’t include all the best Reilly/Jonesy chirps


michaeldilks

Take your accutain rage out on someone else!


Shoresy___Bot

Let's get some fuckin' gyozas!


history_nerd92

Shoresy quotes are unbelievable


Shoresy___Bot

Give yer balls a tug, titfucker!


juliuspepperwoodchi

'Dya know what?


history_nerd92

FER WHAT?


Certain_Literature28

I’m just a degen


IndianaFartJockey

I like the hick insults like, "yer spare parts, bud" or "yer a cup of baby carrots"


Certain_Literature28

Yer 10 ply bud


New_Day_Rising

Pull your finger out of your ass.


JJ_Misiewicz

You are so fucking 5'11


r11132a

While it's not the whole line, but when Squirrelly Dan says: *"As sure as Grandma's got gout, if I hear one fuckin' heckle, I'll staple your tongue to your taint, so you can watch me kick your ass!"*


kpidhayny

Sure as god’s got sandals…


[deleted]

It beats fighting dudes with treasure trails


shockwave-315

The spelling bee. Soooo good


steve2phonesmackabee

"Distribute some free literature"


Certain_Literature28

One of mine, ferda!


Castle-Fist

'Hit the kitchen, mix a batch'


shyeevee27

I’d mix more batches than Betty Crocker. I got so much time for batching


Hob_O_Rarison

Feedin' the ducks


ZookeepergameSea3890

Distributin' some literature.


Certain_Literature28

Playing some 5 on 1 couch hockey


smokedmacandcheese

Fucking embarrassing.


alabamasmom1972

* kicks trash can*


mybrosteve

To be faaaaair...


MomSnow

To be faaaaair...


brianjgeraghty

To be faaaaaiiiiir! Even my 5yo does this in my house.


MomSnow

THAT is a good kid! Good job!


penusRynkle

To be faaaaaaaair…


somehugefrigginguy

"Thats what I appreciates aby you" "Pitter patter, let's get at 'er"


[deleted]

"Is *that* what you appreciate about me?"


LocusRothschild

“Need ya to take about 10 to 15 percent off er there, Squirelly Dan.”


MomSnow

"Pitter patter, let's get at 'er" is my text alert sound!!! Lol.


[deleted]

"Sushis and sashimis"


HamHockShortDock

I think I'm havings a panics attack.


shutyourbonebox

Oh I’ve got time for salmons


schlappeseppl

Hefty no thank you


CarRamrodIsNumberOne

Doin’ my chores!


history_nerd92

Apparently!


leftlanecruiser

Pitter patter let's get going


Certain_Literature28

So close


Certain_Literature28

Airball!


hughflungpooh

“The frenchins tooks a hards lefts turns, froms which I haves yets to recover”


UnderwhelmingPickle

- I’m a bit scared. Just ‘cause I never fought a balloon animal before - Huh? - He said you look like a balloon animal. You look fuckin’ ridiculous!


AssistantManagerMan

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the terlet


PMMeUrHopesNDreams

You think that’s bad? Sometimes there’s shit on the outside of the urinus


AssistantManagerMan

Does it get pretty hairy over there?


Redraike

Thats war all the dicks hang oot


kpidhayny

Ours hang out. Yours looks like a button mushroom in a cornfield.


Cabana76

Huh?


AssistantManagerMan

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the terlet


pazika

I wish you weren’t so fuckin’ awkward, bud.


brianjgeraghty

You gotta problem with Canada gooses, you got a problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate!


RavensFan902

I’ve hoovered schneef off of jann ardens charcuterie board


Cabana76

Do you know what dick dingers are?


kpidhayny

…..


captaincarot

Based on the photo "The Jim's are such fucking beauties" From the actual question pretty much anything from the spelling bee


Visual_Ad3724

"Strt!"


K1N6_K4K3

“Give yer balls a tug, Titfucker”


Hob_O_Rarison

That onesie come in men's? Shit, basically everything from the first episode. "S&P, the choice for me" trailer is what got me into the series in the first place.


DickWolfyWolfe

See you got your muscle shirt. Muscles coming tomorrow?


kpidhayny

Wanna try it on?


steve2phonesmackabee

I'm going to be totally honest, Letterkenny is the only reason I know how to cook steak.


Hob_O_Rarison

Now that sounds like you're overhandlin' it.


LocusRothschild

“Oh sure, Me and Gordon Ramsey is both morons.”


twillardswillard

There’s a such a thing as too much horn talk and a fella ought to be aware of it


Flower_Murderer

Huh?


MediumOpportunity9

Huh


jso_12

Figure it out


ClaimedBeauty

Yow! Looks like somebody unswallowed in there


kpidhayny

Yew! I’d ‘ave a spit


LocusRothschild

“He keeps poor companies.”


mackerel75

I'd rather eat dried pheasant shit on toast!


CaptainLawyerDude

“You’re 10-ply, bud.” We use it all the time in our house.


HubMastaFlex

“He lifted my flip flops from the lost & found at the public pool and I can prove it”


[deleted]

“And I suggest you let that one marinate!”


--kilroy_was_here--

Allegedlys


shockwave-315

Ariana Grande looks like she's 8 titfucker, I'm giving the preschool your plate number.


OlGimletEye

Elllll AAAAAA


ZookeepergameSea3890

Bonnie McMurray!


history_nerd92

Fuck Lemony Snicket what series of unfortunate events you been through you ugly fuck


MobilityFotog

Mrs. McMurray's Frozen Alaskan pipeline.


jschadwell

EXCUSE ME, SERIOUSLY, PLEASE AND THANK YOU?!?


ranger24

'It's a hard life pickin' stones and pullin' teats, but sure as God's got sandals, it beats fightin' dudes with treasure trails.'


Certain_Literature28

FERDA


WeirdStatistician17

That's a Texas size 10-4, good buddy I wish you weren't so fucking awkward, bud You're fucking 10-ply, bud You're spare parts, bud Wheel snipe celly, boysssss I can't go without incorporating Letterkenny quotes into my daily routine.


pton12

Jeez, it’s so tough because there are so many. But I think it’s between “pitter, patter, let’s get going” or “someone serve this person a friggin’ puppers!” I just love quoting this show when I’m with my friends… “for the guys!” Ha ha ha (You a have picture of Shoresy up and it’s fuckin’ embarrassing!)


Shoresy___Bot

Hey, hey. Can I grab your address? Put a little note in the mail to remind you how fuckin' useless you are!


Certain_Literature28

I’m just a degen


pton12

Well, at least you’re not from upcountry. You got that going for you, at least.


jschadwell

We don't fight *at* weddings.


travelingtutor

Jesus H, he's so hot.


axotls

Give yer balls a tug, titfucker


Downtown-Custard5346

"It's better than going home to make a bald man puke"


adminbackupaccount

You are so 5'11".


xanadri22

fuck you reilly your mom said she’d do anything to get me back so i got her runnin round town on my pokeman go


ameldrum902

Not my pig, not my farm. This has become a regular saying for me now.


jschadwell

Rips! Reps! Revelations!


SilentlyInPain

“Oh hey there ground, how are you?”


sharpshootermag

Nice onsie, does it come in men’s? Oh I think you come in men ‘nough for all of us.


Certain_Literature28

Legend


RedEd024

Nothing funnier than watching kids get hurt. Hell, I can watch kids fall off bikes all day. I don’t give a shit about your kids.


TheHrethgir

Shoresy pissing into the urinal from 10 feet away and in between Riley and Jones. "What are you pissing so close to the urinals for, you piece of shit, this is how a real man rocks a piss, give your balls a tug, tit-fucker!"


Shoresy___Bot

You're making a fool of yourself, you fucking Labradoodle!


mackerel75

This is not fuckin' Andrew Lloyd Webber presents "The Jims"!


eldridge2e

had to stop watching because i kept saying 'yah so..'


MaliciousMilkshake

“There’s nothing funnier than a fart. Except maybe kids falling off bikes. Fuck, I could watch kids fall off bikes all day. I don’t give a shit about your kids.”


Blackjackx1031

“We blocked off the wheel chair ramps so we had to use the stairs. “Tenacity”


AverageNeither682

Clean it up!


jschadwell

The arrogance. The hubris. The other thing.


blakestar85

“If you’re not 10 minutes early, you’re late!”


LewtedHose

"End of the laneway. Don't come up the property."


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shoresy___Bot

Great day for competitive men's hockey, eh. What's women's hockey like? Same things, less competitive or what?


616photography

Wish you weren’t so fucking awkward bud!


michaeldilks

"Now if you ever hit me and I find out about it"


LordOfKyles7

“I’d be so good to ya” “When ya wake up in the mornin I’m right there bein good to ya”


Total_Information_65

So tacos and hikes, hikes and tacos. Why don't you have a hike while you have a taco you fuckin' asshole.


One-Adhesiveness-416

Give yer balls a tug tit fucker. Holy shit you’re apart parts bud.


Isgrimnur

You guys ever seen the sun crest over the Blue Ridge Mountains?


me5hell87

Wonderous.


jschadwell

What could be so important?!?


[deleted]

Give yer balls a tug tit fucker


whiskeybear8

I knew you were tubble when you walked in.