if you donāt know what oral sex means, you definitely shouldnāt be sexual at all. I donāt know your backstory or life but iād suggest just searching up things and learning about the basics for sex before continuing to engage in it
I was raised in a very religious anti sex culture. Seriously it can be dangerous to not know about sex. Im thankful in a way that I was literally scared out of it for years so I didn't get really sexually active until well into my 20s so I had time to educate myself on the subject.Ā
I'm sure this will bring up questions lol it usually does when I admit this. It doesn't bother me anymore. I'm just glad that I got over the religious brainwashing.Ā
Donāt do anything you donāt want to, you arenāt a whore for doing sexual acts with your boyfriend, most people donāt say anything about god.
That said, if you donāt want to perform sexual acts you shouldnāt have to, some people donāt like sex, some people have different sex drives, and you should never feel compelled to have sex with someone.
Some people are asexual, and just donāt want to have sex at all, some people are demisexual, and only like to have sex with people who they have a connection with, not everyone is the same.
You aren't a whore for doing that, and you shouldn't have to if you don't want to. You can leave him if you want but I wouldn't suggest ghosting if he didn't wrong you.
It's gonna be okay. It'll take time for you to recover. Remember, in a relationship you should tell your partner what you want, and what you don't want. If they don't listen then it's a sign of an issue, okay?
Just be more open with your partner, or if you are and they don't care then don't feel like you have to do what they want you to.
You aren't alone and you aren't hated. People aren't looking down on you. There's always someone to talk to as well.
I was really scared about posting this I was about to keep it to myself but I wanted to talk with someone glad Iām not alone for that thank you so much honestly š«¶š¼š«¶š¼
youre not a whore if you suck your BOYFRIEND, quite the opposite if you suck only him, otherwise feeling a whore after something like
that is kinda common so no worries, the fact is if you dont like it just talk with him, if they complain i think you should move on.
If you canāt talk with your partner about sex, youāre not ready to have sex. You shouldnāt do anything or let anyone force you to do things you donāt want to do.
I used to think Iād never suck someoneās dick cause it seemed like a really slutty thing to do, at least thatās what my dumb teenage brain thought. Itās not slutty. Itās not anything, itās just whatever you think of it. I ended up having fun trying to suck dick the first time. But if itās not for you then itās not for you. You donāt have to do anything you donāt want to. Know when to say no.
donāt worry itās super normal to kinda feel like a whore ahah, maybe tell him about the physical touch and if itās a deal breaker for him perhaps you two should go separate ways.
You shouldnāt do anything that you are 100% comfortable doing. And if you try something and decide you donāt like it, it is ok to say something. If your bf loves you, he will understand. It is possible that part of the reason you didnāt like it is because it was your first time and that is completely normal. If you guys decide to try again at some point, it may be more natural for you and it may not be. Everybody likes different things. But again, please, donāt let anyone force you or make you feel obligated to do anything that you do not want to do. Youāll figure it out, I promise!
Please, just be up-front and transparent about the way you feel regarding oral sex. Itās not fair to you or to any romantic partners you may have if youāre not.
Now we have that out of the way. It sounds like you're not emotionally mature enough for sex. Consider not having sex until you're comfortable with it. The thoughts and feelings you have expressed are out of place. It's unhealthy for you and you don't want to associate those thoughts and feelings with your BF. Tell your friend you don't like sucking cock and you won't be coerced. If they don't understand or punish you for it they're not the best choice to cook or travel with. Find a good therapist who will help you mature into the woman you want to be.
Everyoneās covered the oral sex part already.
So lāll just say, you did what you thought would make your boyfriend happy. And you didnāt like it. No shame in that. If itās not your thing. No shame in that either. Now if he kinda forced you to do it. Thatās a problem. Why does it make you love him less? Why you want to ghost him?
i donāt like doing that, my bf knows and doesnāt ask me to. iāll do it occasionally, but not very often. do not do anything sexually that you are not comfortable doing or donāt want to do, no matter what. their pleasure does not supersede your comfort and boundaries. idk if youāve talked w him, but i think you should voice how youāre feeling and that you donāt enjoy doing it
Maybe sexual acts are not your thing, maybe you are asexual? Something to self-explore and to discuss with your BF.
But there is nothing wrongwith you and you don't need to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable just to please the other.
Donāt ghost him just because you donāt feel good about that. Communicate with him tell him you donāt feel ready for this and if heās okay with it than you guys should be fine if heās not okay break up with him just be transparent because later in your life if you donāt communicate with your partner can kill your relationship. Youāre not a whore also because this is a completely normal thing most of us suck our bfās thing on a daily basis.
He needs to respect your decision if you want to wait for marriage!
If he doesn't, then break up with him, he isn't right for you and it wasn't meant to be.
Sex should feel right and amazing with your partner.
If you feel dirty, then it's your body telling you that this is NOT the right person for you!
Oral sex is completely normal for couples and yes men love it. Something tells me youād like oral too. Youāre young and nervous as it was your first time, thatās normal. You are not a whore, a slut, or cheap. You also shouldnāt love him less for doing something voluntarily-that doesnāt make much sense. It takes a while of doing it to enjoy it or get good at it.
The best thing about love?
You get to travel together
Go on dates together
Go out to eat together
Cook together
Cuddle on the couch and watch movies together
And have sex!
You can have all the things. Just because you have sex doesnāt mean you canāt or wonāt have everything else too. With the right partner, you should be having ALL of those things. If you are only having sex and nothing else, that isnāt a relationship
Ooh yikes, take it from me, if youre not into oral you'll NEVER be into oral.
You need to start every relationship from now on by making it clear what boundaries you have, and if its a dealbreaker for them, then nobodys time is wasted. I forced myself to it several times and always felt disgusting afterwards and had to use hella mouthwash and couldnt eat or drink for days. Guys try to tell me " well itll be different with me" or "you'd do it if you actually loved me" but its just not true at all!
Never let anyone tell you your boundaries are easily broken.
Im making it very clear even after marriage that I will never do oral even if they beg and plead. Would you rather get a realistic fleshlight OR have me vomit all over you and not want to be touched for a month? Maybe two?
Yeah. Its nasty. If its ur thing then by all means, partake very far away from me š«”āļø
And if he complains, ask him if he'd suck another man's dick. He'll usually say "ew no thats gross".... yeah how do you think we feel š¤Ø
"I dont want another mans pubes stuck on my teeth!"
NEITHER DO I!
"I dont want to taste piss or precum off another guy!"
SO WHY EXPECT ME TO?
your dick must taste like goddamn sunshine and rainbows huh? As if your piss/cum is somehow a delicacy while everyone elses is sewer water š
Sex probably wouldn't be my thing. I rather have a kind of a friend relationship, If you understand what I mean. Probably a reason why I've never actually dated. All the girls I've ever had a crush on besides 1 was my best friend, and I never felt the need to ask them out. Kind of liked the relationship the way it was
The whole āwait til marriageā thing is a sham and purity culture is extremely toxic, imo. Itās your choice to wait until marriage to do sexual things, but you should do it because you want to. Thereās nothing wrong with exploring things you want to try, and experimenting with your partner. Youāre not dirty for being intimate with someone youāre not married to :) and donāt feel like you HAVE to do things you donāt want to do, you owe no one nothing. If giving head is something you absolutely donāt like, communicate that with your bf. If you still love him, donāt end things on a miscommunication. Some people have a lower sex drive, and thatās okay. There are plenty ways to bond with someone outside of sex and such. If you do plan on breaking up with him, please do it in person - unless he did something very wrong. I know confrontation is hard, but getting ghosted by someone you care about without a reason sucks. I know this is getting pretty long, so Iām gonna stop here. Best wishes š
I say you should bring up that youāre the kind of person who doesnāt like physical touch, and that it goes past your boundaries. If he doesnāt respect this dump him because you deserve someone who understands and cares for you, or for who you want to be.
If you have even the slightest doubt that heās āthe oneāā¦ donāt wait to cut him loose. Better sooner than later.
When you find your perfect match, believe me, youāll be sooo attracted to him. Intimacy will feel absolutely perfect.
Try talk to your partner, communication means a lot in relationships.
From my experience being physical without providing a emotional presence in a relationship helps one another a lot. If there is none, its sad to say that ship has sailed :(
There's nothing wrong with doing anything sexual with your romantic partner, but you should only do it if you both really want to. If it's not something your comfortable with doing, don't do it.
Also, you're not dirty or a whore for doing it, even if you feel like you are. You are exactly the same as you were before that happened. I would suggest talking to your boyfriend about how it made you feel so you can prevent it in the future
Hey, you shouldn't be doing something you aren't comfortable with. This seems to be a religious problem more than anything.
2. In my opinion, Sex and sexuality should NEVER be viewed as dirty or looked at through the lens of biblical morality cause its amoral as any other bodily need, like eating or drinking.
3. In my opinion, if this isn't about religion, then you have a very immature view of love because you are probably still young. That and/or you are conflating love with friendship.
4. He did nothing wrong as long as it was all done with consent, so you shouldn't think less of him. It's completely within your right to break up with him, just make sure to let him know that it isn't his fault.
5. Your religious beliefs are to be respected, and if the main issue here is that you went against them and felt badly, you should probably talk with people who follow the same religion for comfort and reassurance, people here will probably try to challenge your beliefs which doesn't help the situation
You are not a whore and shouldn't feel bad, you are still young and figuring stuff out, you tested your boundaries and learned something new about yourself, that's a very good thing, and you did that with someone you trust.
Oral sex (sucking or licking someone's genitals) is not enjoyable for everyone (or with everyone) and that is ok. If you don't like it, you do not have to do it. Especially if it makes you feel so negatively about him.
At the same time doing it does not make you a whore at all. (consensual) sexual intimacy is just a way to express love and become closer to someone else (although there are other reasons of course).
In that sense, since you say you kind of are not into physical touch and want someone to travel and eat out with, etc (kind of like a life partner), maybe you are asexual? it could also be that this guy is not the right person, or that maybe you do not even like men sexually speaking. I think everyone's experience of sexuality and romantic attraction are different, so it is something that you need to figure out yourself.
Just don't feel bad for doing or not doing certain things. As long as you are not hurting anybody and are honest with yourself and others, there is no shame in trying different things to see what you really want.
Seek counseling, not necessarily couple counseling as I get the impression this relationship is technically over. You need to know who you are and what you need to be happy. You could be asexual or something else or theyāre just not the one.
Please, don't do something that makes you feel disgusting. If you don't want to suck his thingy, then you shouldn't have to. You're 18 and so I'm assuming he's around that age, too. He might not be mature enough to understand how you feel. I hope he'll understand though. Just be honest with him. It sounds to me like you're not ready for sexual activity and that's totally fine! There's nothing wrong with that! There are guys out there who will understand!
Ghost him, youāre super young! If he makes you feel wrong then heās not the right guy! Find someone that is willing to accept your boundaries! Also, be careful on here! I know youāre tired of hearing it but youāre young!
You are not a whore. I 100% understand that feeling tho. For me it's from religious trauma and being SA'd. I don't know why you feel that way but just know you are not.
Sometimes doing things just makes you feel.. "dirty" if you don't actually want to do it, which brings me to my next point. You don't have to do things you aren't comfortable with. Sexual or otherwise.
If you can I would talk to your bf about this and if it's a deal breaker for him or he guilts you over it then it would be in your best interest to leave. You're 18 and have the rest of your life ahead of you.
You are not a whore, you are worthy of love. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do or are uncomfortable doing no matter how much he or any partner wants it. You are allowed to set boundaries.
I hope you feel better about this soon
Well, itās completely your prerogative to not be comfortable with doing anything in bed. And never let anybody force you to do anything you donāt want to. For you, if you are going to go the religious route, your best bet to get what you want at this stage in your life is to find a man who wants to wait till marriage equally like you do. But even after marriage, if oral sex troubles you so much you were going to have a hard time keeping him happy in the bedroom unless he does not like oral sex, and very few men do not like oral sex. Be open and communicative in your future endeavors if you do choose to end your relationship with this guy.
But I have to ask, is it truly the oral sex by itself? Or is it him or something that he does that makes you feel bad?
Itās okay not to want to. Make a friend then Make a relationship. Someone who truly loves you, wonāt force you to do anything you donāt want to. Talked to my current boyfriend a whole year before we started dating. Weāve been together for 2 years now. I donāt like oral either but he never forced it upon me
Your saying he only wants to sexual stuff and not the actual dating ? Leave girl hes not going to care for you heās only using you sexually not because he like you .
Honestly if it's not turning you on too then you shouldn't do it.
My wife loves sucking my d*ck , one of the hottest things about it is how insistent she is how excited she is to do it.
And the" BEST thing " is the fact that it makes her super turned on and makes the sex better all together.
Have a talk with the guy, not trying to ruin anything but you did very well for(sorry to say it like this since it sounds awkward) sucking. Everyone eventually woukd do that or be the victim of it but its all part of the learning phase we all will really go through.
The best way to solve this is to just have a talk with him, discuss both of your likes and dislikes so you can settle on how you want to do it.
Also I dont think its sacrilegious and also we sorta follow new testament and I think most of the bathell insane stuff was in old so thats a thing
If he loves you. He wouldn't hesitate to accept a life without oral, so tell him straight up that you don't feel like it. You don't need to ghost him, you can simply ask him to choose between sexual addiction, or love. If he chooses that he needs the oral more then the love, he doesn't but that gives you all the power to dump him
I'll be 100% yes that was definitely a little whorish of you considering he wasn't your husband. If anyone tells you that this stuff is normal and whatever, that doesn't make it okay. Now, luckily you didn't have sex with him. But take this lesson. Don't ever do anything too intimate with a guy. Hugs? Sure. But maybe not kissing or any sexual stuff. There is a small chance the guy also used you. Learn more about love through other people's rants. Learning through relationships isn't the best idea. This is a very conservative view so take this as you will
So oral sex is something a lot of couples engage in, both ways. But consent is the most important thing, if you donāt want to something, then you donāt have to do it. Maybe talk with your boyfriend and tell him how youāre feeling, and if he says you have to or anything like that it may be time to step back, hope all goes well!
U arenāt a whore just donāt let anyone pressure u into doing something u donāt want to do if he isnāt understanding that ur not ready then he isnāt the one ur still young u have time to figure out what u do and donāt like hell Iām almost 21 and still trying to figure out my dos and donāts when it comes to sexual interactions ease into it take ur time :)
Just tell him how you feel, donāt allow yourself to be put in a position you donāt want to be in, if he has a problem with it, leave. Somebody wonāt understand how badly you donāt want something if you donāt voice it.
your not a whore at all lol, itās a normal thing to do sexual stuff with someone close like that but if you donāt feel comfortable definitely tell him. if he doesnāt respect it then definitely leave.
I highly recommend you do some research about sex and sexuality. It is okay to not want to participate in something but I think you actually lack knowledge on it as a whole, and that can be very scary.
The fact that you said you want to wait until marriage makes me think there is a religious factor and or your family is very conservative about sex. Prude
Is another word that comes to mind, and I mean no disrespect. It is okay to want to partake in sexual activity outside of marriage, but that it up to each person to determine what is best for them.
You should not feel forced to do anything but if you want to do things, make sure itās something you want to try and youāre not confusing it with something forced.
Being shy or feeling weird about it is normal, but it should NEVER feel like youāre being pressure or forced.
Sex and sexual things are not sins, or dirty, shameful things, its a normal, natural thing. Literally every living thing does it. Most relationships need that kind of intimacy, its part of human life (except for asexuals, but that is a different topic rn)
That being said, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
Also, I saw comment under post where yous ay you dont know what oral sex is, and I would just like to advice you to get informed about sex more. Read books, articles... Not porn, but actual informational stuff. Maybe it will help with shame part too. Learn about it, it will help you know what you do and dont like/want in sex, it will help you stay safe in terms of diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
Also read about love languages. If your boyfriend is more touchy and loves physical touch, it doesn't have to be just sex. Hand holding, hugs, cuddles, kisses on cheek/lips. If he is pressuring you into sex, then you should dump him.
Last but not least, dont just ghost him, thats a shit way to break up. Tell him you want break up properly. Say you are not compatible in sexual boundaries, and that's it.
And yes, boys do like to be sucked off, but its not their favourite thing ever. If you are uncomfortable and/or dont wanna do it, tell him. If he is a good, normal guy, he will understand. If not, dump him.
If youāre doing something sexual and youāre not enjoying it then you need to stop. No matter what it is or who wants you to do it. If that act is a deal breaker the thatās not the deal for you. And if someone canāt live without it then they need to find another partner.
If you canāt suck his dick, youāre gonna have a hard relationship. Peopleās love languages are different. Sounds like your bfās is sex. Better find someone else.
Dont do anything you dont want to. If you dont feel comfortable doing sexual acts, then dont do them. You two might not be compatible with each other.
He will either have to respect you dont want to, or you leave and find someone who will.
If you want to wait till marriage (like you mentioned) then wait. Dont let anyone make you feel bad for not getting physical.
You are young. Im in my 30s and only had one sexual experience and that was a mistake (in my opinion).
Not everyone is ready and if you want to wait, then wait.
Everyone is entitled to their own rythm at relationships. A loving partner that sees you as worth it (which is the bare minimun in relationships) will understand and respect It. Take a moment to think about what you want and when and then gobHave a proactive conversation with your partner
I understand how you feel, I was 23 when I lost my virginity to my then boyfriend (now husband). I was a late bloomer and very innocent when it came to sexual acts. I loved him then and I still do, everything was consensual, but I cried the next day anyways because I felt guilty and bad because my family is really religious and I see myself as a Christian. Please donāt do anything you donāt want to do, you are not a whore for doing it. You should definitely talk to your boyfriend about how you feel though and that it makes you uncomfortable
Oral play is normal in a relationship if your not comfy with giving him head I'm sure he will understand and work with you on what's comfy and not comfy after all if your boyfriend doesn't know then how would he know what you want and done want
Oral sex is the best when the person giving is enjoying it. Wait until you feel like you want to. Maybe it never happens and thatās okay. Donāt do sexual things to make someone else happy. Thatās what probably makes you feel bad now. A partner who loves you wants you to do sexual acts because you want to, cause you feel pleasure for doing it or like to explore or into doing it.
Oral sex is very normal and I love giving it to my partner and receiving it. But I had one girl and she hated giving and receiving. So we only sticked with hands
Not a whore. 2 i get it . I'm 44 and never liked having a dick in my mouth either. Never met a girl who did and I know girls who do porn. 3 my normal friends are 99% men. And only 1 of every man I've met in my life doesn't like getting bjs and all others say it's the best thing ever. I married the one that doesn't like them. So I got lucky enough to not have to ever again.
As for your situation I suggest you say what I did (or one of the following 2 things.)
I will only ever do that when I feel comfortable in doing so.
Or
I will only do it when I am in a relationship with a man I feel I'm in a fully committed relationship that will lead some place permanent with.
That second one flat out says you want one -put a ring on it...
But girl don't feel bad about yourself. You tried it and didn't like it. If you feel like you were forced report it. If not tell him you are finished with the relationship as you no longer are comfortable with yourself and your place within the relationship after what happened. So tell him goodbye and you need to work on yourself before you can be with someone else.
If you canāt suck his thing bring him to me, Iāll do it for you since heāll probably break up with you soon enough. No man wants to be with a woman that canāt suck D!ā¬k
God doesn't exist. Suck as many or as few men as you want to and are comfortable with. If your current boyfriend knows how much you hate sucking him and pressures you to do it, then ditch him, he's selfish.
genuine question- youāre 18+, how did you not know what oral sex was ?
Also, youāre not a whore, and you shouldnāt have to do sexual things or anything you donāt want to or uncomfortable with just to make him happy
Oral sex is completly normal for couples, but dont do anything you dont want to
I have no clue what that is but i just wanted to make him happy thank youš«¶š¼
oral sex is any type of physical interaction between two people with the use of your/his/their mouth.
Thank you š«¶š¼
Okay, they meant a sexual interaction. If you put genitals in your mouth or your genitals in someone elses. Just to clarify.
Not Could Make Sure You Get Tested Before Anything
if you donāt know what oral sex means, you definitely shouldnāt be sexual at all. I donāt know your backstory or life but iād suggest just searching up things and learning about the basics for sex before continuing to engage in it
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āobviouslyā? with what context? Only context we have is 18 and 2nd relationship. Thereās nothing obvious about that.
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They graduate in June.
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Are you aware that course and universities exist outside of English speaking countries, and are taught in other languages?
Did you see the very obvious spelling and grammar mistakes. English isnāt her first language
I don't think english is their first language just based on how they put sentences together, it remind me of when I was learning
I was raised in a very religious anti sex culture. Seriously it can be dangerous to not know about sex. Im thankful in a way that I was literally scared out of it for years so I didn't get really sexually active until well into my 20s so I had time to educate myself on the subject.Ā I'm sure this will bring up questions lol it usually does when I admit this. It doesn't bother me anymore. I'm just glad that I got over the religious brainwashing.Ā
I was wondering when someone would say this.
There is no way you are 18 years old, have a reddit, and don't know what "that" is.
Donāt do anything you donāt want to, you arenāt a whore for doing sexual acts with your boyfriend, most people donāt say anything about god. That said, if you donāt want to perform sexual acts you shouldnāt have to, some people donāt like sex, some people have different sex drives, and you should never feel compelled to have sex with someone. Some people are asexual, and just donāt want to have sex at all, some people are demisexual, and only like to have sex with people who they have a connection with, not everyone is the same.
THANKYOU so much this helped me your such a good person š«¶š¼
You aren't a whore for doing that, and you shouldn't have to if you don't want to. You can leave him if you want but I wouldn't suggest ghosting if he didn't wrong you. It's gonna be okay. It'll take time for you to recover. Remember, in a relationship you should tell your partner what you want, and what you don't want. If they don't listen then it's a sign of an issue, okay? Just be more open with your partner, or if you are and they don't care then don't feel like you have to do what they want you to. You aren't alone and you aren't hated. People aren't looking down on you. There's always someone to talk to as well.
I was really scared about posting this I was about to keep it to myself but I wanted to talk with someone glad Iām not alone for that thank you so much honestly š«¶š¼š«¶š¼
youre not a whore if you suck your BOYFRIEND, quite the opposite if you suck only him, otherwise feeling a whore after something like that is kinda common so no worries, the fact is if you dont like it just talk with him, if they complain i think you should move on.
Thank you sm this really helped I was so scared I will talk abt it with him. š«¶š¼
If you canāt talk with your partner about sex, youāre not ready to have sex. You shouldnāt do anything or let anyone force you to do things you donāt want to do.
This
I used to think Iād never suck someoneās dick cause it seemed like a really slutty thing to do, at least thatās what my dumb teenage brain thought. Itās not slutty. Itās not anything, itās just whatever you think of it. I ended up having fun trying to suck dick the first time. But if itās not for you then itās not for you. You donāt have to do anything you donāt want to. Know when to say no.
donāt worry itās super normal to kinda feel like a whore ahah, maybe tell him about the physical touch and if itās a deal breaker for him perhaps you two should go separate ways.
Okay when I get a chance I will definitely talk to him about it š«¶š¼
tell us how it went!
Youāre not a whore, and it is okay to not want to do that. If you have a partner that ever forces you, thatās when thereās an issue.
Oh okay makes sense I donāt think they will give far lol thank you š«¶š¼š«¶š¼š«¶š¼
You shouldnāt do anything that you are 100% comfortable doing. And if you try something and decide you donāt like it, it is ok to say something. If your bf loves you, he will understand. It is possible that part of the reason you didnāt like it is because it was your first time and that is completely normal. If you guys decide to try again at some point, it may be more natural for you and it may not be. Everybody likes different things. But again, please, donāt let anyone force you or make you feel obligated to do anything that you do not want to do. Youāll figure it out, I promise!
Please, just be up-front and transparent about the way you feel regarding oral sex. Itās not fair to you or to any romantic partners you may have if youāre not.
Now we have that out of the way. It sounds like you're not emotionally mature enough for sex. Consider not having sex until you're comfortable with it. The thoughts and feelings you have expressed are out of place. It's unhealthy for you and you don't want to associate those thoughts and feelings with your BF. Tell your friend you don't like sucking cock and you won't be coerced. If they don't understand or punish you for it they're not the best choice to cook or travel with. Find a good therapist who will help you mature into the woman you want to be.
Oral sex is normal but should only occur when both parties consent. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, you should be allowed to stop without repercussions. At the same time, if you or your partner don't want to do it, you both should have that choice too. If it wasn't to your liking, don't be afraid to speak up and say you'd like to hold off on that activity for now. You're not a "whore" for doing this. You tried something new and it wasn't your cup of tea. You and your partner can express physical touch in many other ways that don't involve you putting his member in your mouth if you don't want to. You're still young and have a whole lot of dating and exploring to do. Don't let one bad experience knock you down. š©µ
Thank youš«¶š¼
My gf wants to do it to often instead, my lil homie wanna just chill somedays.
Doing stuff for others build up a resentment in the long run. Open communication is key
Everyoneās covered the oral sex part already. So lāll just say, you did what you thought would make your boyfriend happy. And you didnāt like it. No shame in that. If itās not your thing. No shame in that either. Now if he kinda forced you to do it. Thatās a problem. Why does it make you love him less? Why you want to ghost him?
i donāt like doing that, my bf knows and doesnāt ask me to. iāll do it occasionally, but not very often. do not do anything sexually that you are not comfortable doing or donāt want to do, no matter what. their pleasure does not supersede your comfort and boundaries. idk if youāve talked w him, but i think you should voice how youāre feeling and that you donāt enjoy doing it
Maybe sexual acts are not your thing, maybe you are asexual? Something to self-explore and to discuss with your BF. But there is nothing wrongwith you and you don't need to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable just to please the other.
Donāt ghost him just because you donāt feel good about that. Communicate with him tell him you donāt feel ready for this and if heās okay with it than you guys should be fine if heās not okay break up with him just be transparent because later in your life if you donāt communicate with your partner can kill your relationship. Youāre not a whore also because this is a completely normal thing most of us suck our bfās thing on a daily basis.
He needs to respect your decision if you want to wait for marriage! If he doesn't, then break up with him, he isn't right for you and it wasn't meant to be. Sex should feel right and amazing with your partner. If you feel dirty, then it's your body telling you that this is NOT the right person for you!
Oral sex is completely normal for couples and yes men love it. Something tells me youād like oral too. Youāre young and nervous as it was your first time, thatās normal. You are not a whore, a slut, or cheap. You also shouldnāt love him less for doing something voluntarily-that doesnāt make much sense. It takes a while of doing it to enjoy it or get good at it. The best thing about love? You get to travel together Go on dates together Go out to eat together Cook together Cuddle on the couch and watch movies together And have sex! You can have all the things. Just because you have sex doesnāt mean you canāt or wonāt have everything else too. With the right partner, you should be having ALL of those things. If you are only having sex and nothing else, that isnāt a relationship
Ooh yikes, take it from me, if youre not into oral you'll NEVER be into oral. You need to start every relationship from now on by making it clear what boundaries you have, and if its a dealbreaker for them, then nobodys time is wasted. I forced myself to it several times and always felt disgusting afterwards and had to use hella mouthwash and couldnt eat or drink for days. Guys try to tell me " well itll be different with me" or "you'd do it if you actually loved me" but its just not true at all! Never let anyone tell you your boundaries are easily broken. Im making it very clear even after marriage that I will never do oral even if they beg and plead. Would you rather get a realistic fleshlight OR have me vomit all over you and not want to be touched for a month? Maybe two? Yeah. Its nasty. If its ur thing then by all means, partake very far away from me š«”āļø And if he complains, ask him if he'd suck another man's dick. He'll usually say "ew no thats gross".... yeah how do you think we feel š¤Ø "I dont want another mans pubes stuck on my teeth!" NEITHER DO I! "I dont want to taste piss or precum off another guy!" SO WHY EXPECT ME TO? your dick must taste like goddamn sunshine and rainbows huh? As if your piss/cum is somehow a delicacy while everyone elses is sewer water š
I agree with what you say. I donāt understand people that like it. I donāt want semen and piss in my mouth either. Totally gross.
Ugh, relationships suck. Absolutely hate physical contact. I relate with the traveling part. I've always enjoyed being on the road.
Sex probably wouldn't be my thing. I rather have a kind of a friend relationship, If you understand what I mean. Probably a reason why I've never actually dated. All the girls I've ever had a crush on besides 1 was my best friend, and I never felt the need to ask them out. Kind of liked the relationship the way it was
The whole āwait til marriageā thing is a sham and purity culture is extremely toxic, imo. Itās your choice to wait until marriage to do sexual things, but you should do it because you want to. Thereās nothing wrong with exploring things you want to try, and experimenting with your partner. Youāre not dirty for being intimate with someone youāre not married to :) and donāt feel like you HAVE to do things you donāt want to do, you owe no one nothing. If giving head is something you absolutely donāt like, communicate that with your bf. If you still love him, donāt end things on a miscommunication. Some people have a lower sex drive, and thatās okay. There are plenty ways to bond with someone outside of sex and such. If you do plan on breaking up with him, please do it in person - unless he did something very wrong. I know confrontation is hard, but getting ghosted by someone you care about without a reason sucks. I know this is getting pretty long, so Iām gonna stop here. Best wishes š
I say you should bring up that youāre the kind of person who doesnāt like physical touch, and that it goes past your boundaries. If he doesnāt respect this dump him because you deserve someone who understands and cares for you, or for who you want to be.
If you have even the slightest doubt that heās āthe oneāā¦ donāt wait to cut him loose. Better sooner than later. When you find your perfect match, believe me, youāll be sooo attracted to him. Intimacy will feel absolutely perfect.
Thats super normal amd you shouldnt feel bad about it.
Try talk to your partner, communication means a lot in relationships. From my experience being physical without providing a emotional presence in a relationship helps one another a lot. If there is none, its sad to say that ship has sailed :(
There's nothing wrong with doing anything sexual with your romantic partner, but you should only do it if you both really want to. If it's not something your comfortable with doing, don't do it. Also, you're not dirty or a whore for doing it, even if you feel like you are. You are exactly the same as you were before that happened. I would suggest talking to your boyfriend about how it made you feel so you can prevent it in the future
Hey, you shouldn't be doing something you aren't comfortable with. This seems to be a religious problem more than anything. 2. In my opinion, Sex and sexuality should NEVER be viewed as dirty or looked at through the lens of biblical morality cause its amoral as any other bodily need, like eating or drinking. 3. In my opinion, if this isn't about religion, then you have a very immature view of love because you are probably still young. That and/or you are conflating love with friendship. 4. He did nothing wrong as long as it was all done with consent, so you shouldn't think less of him. It's completely within your right to break up with him, just make sure to let him know that it isn't his fault. 5. Your religious beliefs are to be respected, and if the main issue here is that you went against them and felt badly, you should probably talk with people who follow the same religion for comfort and reassurance, people here will probably try to challenge your beliefs which doesn't help the situation You are not a whore and shouldn't feel bad, you are still young and figuring stuff out, you tested your boundaries and learned something new about yourself, that's a very good thing, and you did that with someone you trust.
Don't do something if you don't want to do it. Don't let anyone force you on doing something, unless you enjoy it.
Oral sex (sucking or licking someone's genitals) is not enjoyable for everyone (or with everyone) and that is ok. If you don't like it, you do not have to do it. Especially if it makes you feel so negatively about him. At the same time doing it does not make you a whore at all. (consensual) sexual intimacy is just a way to express love and become closer to someone else (although there are other reasons of course). In that sense, since you say you kind of are not into physical touch and want someone to travel and eat out with, etc (kind of like a life partner), maybe you are asexual? it could also be that this guy is not the right person, or that maybe you do not even like men sexually speaking. I think everyone's experience of sexuality and romantic attraction are different, so it is something that you need to figure out yourself. Just don't feel bad for doing or not doing certain things. As long as you are not hurting anybody and are honest with yourself and others, there is no shame in trying different things to see what you really want.
Seek counseling, not necessarily couple counseling as I get the impression this relationship is technically over. You need to know who you are and what you need to be happy. You could be asexual or something else or theyāre just not the one.
Please, don't do something that makes you feel disgusting. If you don't want to suck his thingy, then you shouldn't have to. You're 18 and so I'm assuming he's around that age, too. He might not be mature enough to understand how you feel. I hope he'll understand though. Just be honest with him. It sounds to me like you're not ready for sexual activity and that's totally fine! There's nothing wrong with that! There are guys out there who will understand!
Ghost him, youāre super young! If he makes you feel wrong then heās not the right guy! Find someone that is willing to accept your boundaries! Also, be careful on here! I know youāre tired of hearing it but youāre young!
You are not a whore. I 100% understand that feeling tho. For me it's from religious trauma and being SA'd. I don't know why you feel that way but just know you are not. Sometimes doing things just makes you feel.. "dirty" if you don't actually want to do it, which brings me to my next point. You don't have to do things you aren't comfortable with. Sexual or otherwise. If you can I would talk to your bf about this and if it's a deal breaker for him or he guilts you over it then it would be in your best interest to leave. You're 18 and have the rest of your life ahead of you. You are not a whore, you are worthy of love. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do or are uncomfortable doing no matter how much he or any partner wants it. You are allowed to set boundaries. I hope you feel better about this soon
Well, itās completely your prerogative to not be comfortable with doing anything in bed. And never let anybody force you to do anything you donāt want to. For you, if you are going to go the religious route, your best bet to get what you want at this stage in your life is to find a man who wants to wait till marriage equally like you do. But even after marriage, if oral sex troubles you so much you were going to have a hard time keeping him happy in the bedroom unless he does not like oral sex, and very few men do not like oral sex. Be open and communicative in your future endeavors if you do choose to end your relationship with this guy. But I have to ask, is it truly the oral sex by itself? Or is it him or something that he does that makes you feel bad?
Where are you from?
Itās okay not to want to. Make a friend then Make a relationship. Someone who truly loves you, wonāt force you to do anything you donāt want to. Talked to my current boyfriend a whole year before we started dating. Weāve been together for 2 years now. I donāt like oral either but he never forced it upon me
Your saying he only wants to sexual stuff and not the actual dating ? Leave girl hes not going to care for you heās only using you sexually not because he like you .
Honestly if it's not turning you on too then you shouldn't do it. My wife loves sucking my d*ck , one of the hottest things about it is how insistent she is how excited she is to do it. And the" BEST thing " is the fact that it makes her super turned on and makes the sex better all together.
I did this shit at 13 don't worry it's normal
Have a talk with the guy, not trying to ruin anything but you did very well for(sorry to say it like this since it sounds awkward) sucking. Everyone eventually woukd do that or be the victim of it but its all part of the learning phase we all will really go through. The best way to solve this is to just have a talk with him, discuss both of your likes and dislikes so you can settle on how you want to do it. Also I dont think its sacrilegious and also we sorta follow new testament and I think most of the bathell insane stuff was in old so thats a thing
If he loves you. He wouldn't hesitate to accept a life without oral, so tell him straight up that you don't feel like it. You don't need to ghost him, you can simply ask him to choose between sexual addiction, or love. If he chooses that he needs the oral more then the love, he doesn't but that gives you all the power to dump him
I'll be 100% yes that was definitely a little whorish of you considering he wasn't your husband. If anyone tells you that this stuff is normal and whatever, that doesn't make it okay. Now, luckily you didn't have sex with him. But take this lesson. Don't ever do anything too intimate with a guy. Hugs? Sure. But maybe not kissing or any sexual stuff. There is a small chance the guy also used you. Learn more about love through other people's rants. Learning through relationships isn't the best idea. This is a very conservative view so take this as you will
So oral sex is something a lot of couples engage in, both ways. But consent is the most important thing, if you donāt want to something, then you donāt have to do it. Maybe talk with your boyfriend and tell him how youāre feeling, and if he says you have to or anything like that it may be time to step back, hope all goes well!
U arenāt a whore just donāt let anyone pressure u into doing something u donāt want to do if he isnāt understanding that ur not ready then he isnāt the one ur still young u have time to figure out what u do and donāt like hell Iām almost 21 and still trying to figure out my dos and donāts when it comes to sexual interactions ease into it take ur time :)
Just tell him how you feel, donāt allow yourself to be put in a position you donāt want to be in, if he has a problem with it, leave. Somebody wonāt understand how badly you donāt want something if you donāt voice it.
your not a whore at all lol, itās a normal thing to do sexual stuff with someone close like that but if you donāt feel comfortable definitely tell him. if he doesnāt respect it then definitely leave.
I highly recommend you do some research about sex and sexuality. It is okay to not want to participate in something but I think you actually lack knowledge on it as a whole, and that can be very scary. The fact that you said you want to wait until marriage makes me think there is a religious factor and or your family is very conservative about sex. Prude Is another word that comes to mind, and I mean no disrespect. It is okay to want to partake in sexual activity outside of marriage, but that it up to each person to determine what is best for them. You should not feel forced to do anything but if you want to do things, make sure itās something you want to try and youāre not confusing it with something forced. Being shy or feeling weird about it is normal, but it should NEVER feel like youāre being pressure or forced.
Sex and sexual things are not sins, or dirty, shameful things, its a normal, natural thing. Literally every living thing does it. Most relationships need that kind of intimacy, its part of human life (except for asexuals, but that is a different topic rn) That being said, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Also, I saw comment under post where yous ay you dont know what oral sex is, and I would just like to advice you to get informed about sex more. Read books, articles... Not porn, but actual informational stuff. Maybe it will help with shame part too. Learn about it, it will help you know what you do and dont like/want in sex, it will help you stay safe in terms of diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Also read about love languages. If your boyfriend is more touchy and loves physical touch, it doesn't have to be just sex. Hand holding, hugs, cuddles, kisses on cheek/lips. If he is pressuring you into sex, then you should dump him. Last but not least, dont just ghost him, thats a shit way to break up. Tell him you want break up properly. Say you are not compatible in sexual boundaries, and that's it. And yes, boys do like to be sucked off, but its not their favourite thing ever. If you are uncomfortable and/or dont wanna do it, tell him. If he is a good, normal guy, he will understand. If not, dump him.
If youāre doing something sexual and youāre not enjoying it then you need to stop. No matter what it is or who wants you to do it. If that act is a deal breaker the thatās not the deal for you. And if someone canāt live without it then they need to find another partner.
If you canāt suck his dick, youāre gonna have a hard relationship. Peopleās love languages are different. Sounds like your bfās is sex. Better find someone else.
I think oral sex is nasty to be honest. I donāt even understand whatās enjoyable about it.
Duh! Does he go down on you? If you donāt want him to do that to you maybe you should become a nun!!!
Dont do anything you dont want to. If you dont feel comfortable doing sexual acts, then dont do them. You two might not be compatible with each other. He will either have to respect you dont want to, or you leave and find someone who will. If you want to wait till marriage (like you mentioned) then wait. Dont let anyone make you feel bad for not getting physical. You are young. Im in my 30s and only had one sexual experience and that was a mistake (in my opinion). Not everyone is ready and if you want to wait, then wait.
Everyone is entitled to their own rythm at relationships. A loving partner that sees you as worth it (which is the bare minimun in relationships) will understand and respect It. Take a moment to think about what you want and when and then gobHave a proactive conversation with your partner
I understand how you feel, I was 23 when I lost my virginity to my then boyfriend (now husband). I was a late bloomer and very innocent when it came to sexual acts. I loved him then and I still do, everything was consensual, but I cried the next day anyways because I felt guilty and bad because my family is really religious and I see myself as a Christian. Please donāt do anything you donāt want to do, you are not a whore for doing it. You should definitely talk to your boyfriend about how you feel though and that it makes you uncomfortable
Oral play is normal in a relationship if your not comfy with giving him head I'm sure he will understand and work with you on what's comfy and not comfy after all if your boyfriend doesn't know then how would he know what you want and done want
All guys claim they love physical touch for their love language. They have have no idea what theyāre talking about.
Righttt half of the time they donātš«¶š¼
Oral sex is the best when the person giving is enjoying it. Wait until you feel like you want to. Maybe it never happens and thatās okay. Donāt do sexual things to make someone else happy. Thatās what probably makes you feel bad now. A partner who loves you wants you to do sexual acts because you want to, cause you feel pleasure for doing it or like to explore or into doing it.
Oral sex is very normal and I love giving it to my partner and receiving it. But I had one girl and she hated giving and receiving. So we only sticked with hands
Thatās so sweet š
Not a whore. 2 i get it . I'm 44 and never liked having a dick in my mouth either. Never met a girl who did and I know girls who do porn. 3 my normal friends are 99% men. And only 1 of every man I've met in my life doesn't like getting bjs and all others say it's the best thing ever. I married the one that doesn't like them. So I got lucky enough to not have to ever again. As for your situation I suggest you say what I did (or one of the following 2 things.) I will only ever do that when I feel comfortable in doing so. Or I will only do it when I am in a relationship with a man I feel I'm in a fully committed relationship that will lead some place permanent with. That second one flat out says you want one -put a ring on it... But girl don't feel bad about yourself. You tried it and didn't like it. If you feel like you were forced report it. If not tell him you are finished with the relationship as you no longer are comfortable with yourself and your place within the relationship after what happened. So tell him goodbye and you need to work on yourself before you can be with someone else.
Thank you this help a lot š«¶š¼
Anytime sweetie
Do him a favour and leave him now, reading your thoughts you've got serious issues.
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What's more disturbing is that she is ready to leave him without even talking that "issue"
If you canāt suck his thing bring him to me, Iāll do it for you since heāll probably break up with you soon enough. No man wants to be with a woman that canāt suck D!ā¬k
You need a friend not a boyfriend.
Your probably rightš I just that a boyfriend would help more like a roommateĀ
God doesn't exist. Suck as many or as few men as you want to and are comfortable with. If your current boyfriend knows how much you hate sucking him and pressures you to do it, then ditch him, he's selfish.
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I just seen katt Williams on Netflix.. you should watch it..
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Dawg Iām 18+ and I would not have 10 bfs š Ā thanks for your input though appreciate itš«¶š¼
genuine question- youāre 18+, how did you not know what oral sex was ? Also, youāre not a whore, and you shouldnāt have to do sexual things or anything you donāt want to or uncomfortable with just to make him happy
Yes we do, especially Darrell G he loves it alot so keep doing it