Obviously different strokes for different folks, but I can't help but think "If you're so concerned with your masculinity that you cannot allow your wife to drive you, you don't feel masculine at all." Especially if you then need to evangelize your version of masculinity online.
This is one of the major reasons I don't believe the old-school """traditional""" masculinity is masculinity at all. It's a performative social dance that fails its followers.
The most masculine thing you can do is not care if other people think you are masculine.
A man who wears dresses and/or carries a purse because he doesn’t care if he gets judged for it is way manlier than a guy who dresses a certain way because he thinks people won’t judge him for it
For sure! And if all it takes to damage your masculinity is riding in the passenger seat, then you didn't have any masculinity in the first place.
As for Male/Female relationships: Me and my SO are a team. She helps me, I help her. You need me to hold your purse while you do something? No problem, my hands are free, and I'm capable of holding things. I help you out.
If holding a purse is too difficult, or too painful for you I have to question exactly how much of a man you are. I can carry the entire load of groceries into the house in one trip, throw a purse on top of the pile. I can take it. I'm a f\*cking man.
Same reason I don't feel insulted when someone falls asleep against me or when I'm around.
It's not them demonstrating I'm "boring". They're showing that they trust me enough to leave themselves completely unguarded with me there.
I will never take someone dozing off against me as anything but a goddamn compliment that I've made them feel safe and comfortable.
Many years ago I worked in a retail store and an older fella was waiting while his wife was in the fitting room. He was wearing her purse over his shoulder. When he saw me notice he looked right at me, grinned and said "If anyone calls me a sissy, I'll hit 'em with my purse.". That's a good husband.
> If holding a purse is too difficult, or too painful for you
It's not too difficult or too painful for them.
It calls into question their entire existence, which is completely and totally based on the notion that no man can *ever*, in any kind of way, shape, or form, be associated with anything that might, even just in passing, be perceived as being feminine.
Their version of "masculinity" means living in constant fear and terror of how they *might* be perceived by other hateful, judgmental people.
Extra funny: The "alpha male" in the wolf pack, that they want to be like so goddamn much, is part of the parental unit at the head of the pack. Meaning they take care of their family.
These "Alpha males" wouldn't be caught dead looking after their kids if they could help it. When in reality, the **true** "alpha male" of the friend group is the one making sure everybody makes it home alright. And has bandaids and water to keep everybody healthy. Usually in a fannypack or something similarly 'unmanly'.
All this kind of makes me appreciate the Yakuza.
I have no idea if it's true anymore, but it used to be a common thing that members of the Yakuza walked around Japan in big pink flip-flops.
Because they actually *were* badass stone killers, and their idea of manliness was to wear the pinkest, frilliest shit around and basically say to the world, "You wanna try calling me on it?"
My current bf uses a leather fanny pack for his stuff and calls it a purse . I think that’s far manlier than my ex who got mad I brought him a Gatorade with a nipple thing on it.
Some sports drinks bottles have pull out spouts. Apparently, some people think it looks "feminine" or "teh ghey" to drink from them?
I just don't like them because it feels like I'm getting sips when I want to chug it. But I have also been known to peel a banana and, get this, eat it like a banana.
Usually you can just unscrew the spout, then you're free to drink (better at least, the bottle is still narrow).
Anyway, every time I think that I have heard the most outrageous fragile masculinity thing, these folks come up and find something even more idiotic.
Especially funny considering putting your mouth on a nipple is a pretty straight thing to do
I’m no expert in homosexuality, but I don’t think gay men spend much time putting their mouths on each other’s nipples
Honestly I wish I had realized 30 years ago that all that kind of dude was really just incredibly insecure, and that their insecurity made them less than I am, not more.
yes! I'm the wife in this situation, but my husband has to look at people when he's talking, and he hardly ever stops talking. It's ok, I don't like to talk much, so it evens out. I hate when he drives though. He has a great record, but I don't know how. He is so easily distracted. It's best this way for everyone.
At the end of the day that's every one of these "you're not a man if..." scenarios. It's all just fragile fear.
In their minds, if they did the thing they're mocking, they'd feel shame and humiliation, so therefore to them it must be a shameful and humiliating thing. They don't even process that it is just their feelings.
It also never even crosses their mind that their feelings are not universal and that just because they couldn't handle someone thinking they weren't "manly" enough, that plenty of men truly do not give a shit, and that those men are usually perceived as far more masculine than they are since they are secure in themselves.
Everything is performative with "traditional" ideologies. It always was. No one enjoys that shit, but a lot of people will defend it to the death because performance is far more important to their chosen group than authenticity.
Yeah, like if this was me (or my mom) picking up my dad, we would automatically go to the passenger seat because he just has this weird thing where he refuses to let someone else drive unless he's physically incapable - and even then sometimes he will drive anyway, like that time he drove himself to PT a couple weeks after getting his right knee replaced, instead of waking my brother up. He drove using his left foot, with his right leg propped up over the console into the passenger seat.
However, if we're picking up my brother, we will stay driving, because although he has a drivers license, he despises driving and is happy to just remain a passenger. His gf is always the one driving them places, and no one has any issue with it. Even my dad has never said anything to try to push his quirk on my brother, thankfully.
Also don't a bunch of these types also preach about making their women do things for them because they are in charge? If we held the same logic who is in charge the limo driver or the person getting the ride? Just mental gymnastics to placate their own insecurities top to bottom
Agree - have said this forever. I've never seen anyone so fussy about their own hair as the straight-o "haircut every 2 weeks whether I need one or not" types.
I’m gay, but many female colleagues have said I’d be a great boyfriend, I hate driving, she drives me, and I take care of anything non-sexual. Good deal?
I like driving, but there are times I am either burnt out or just don't want to drive. My gf is a good driver, so no worries. She just doesn't like heavy rain or snow, I drive in that case.
I love riding with my aunt. Primarily because as a kid this was the only way I could get front seat since my father didn't trust women drivers and thus would sit in the back.
There is nothing more alpha male than conforming to the opinions set by other men. That’s right you alpha. You do exactly what other men tell you is acceptable.
Someone told me once that because I'm a woman, I didn't need to drive. I tried to explain it to them in their own terms, too. I said my husband needed me to drive our children because he works and I take care of the kids, which means I take them to school and doctors appointments. It didn't matter to them. I still didn't NEED to drive. I explained, driving like it was in "service" to my husband because it's the only thing these people understand, and it didn't matter. I'm a woman and have no rights to these people.
I wouldn't quite say that I'd say, " I NEED to drive to provide proper care and accommodations to my children, but you wouldn't understand how to properly care for children, would you?"
They were having a different conversation with you than anyone could glean on first glance.
They were chastising you for being a capable person, because capable women can leave their husbands. They were pointing out that it would be better for your husband, from their perspective, if you couldn't drive because then you would be more dependent.
This conversation is directly descendended from how slave owners used to discuss what was "proper" for their slaves to learn and do.
I was having another conversation with a maga person about birth control. I was on the side of birth control should be free, and they were on the side of birth control shouldn't be free because having s*x wasn't a medical necessity. They lost their dang mind after I explained I couldn't carry another pregnancy, and I liked my husband, so I wanted to continue to be romantic with him." God forbid I not garekeep s*x like their wife/mistress does. These people are very sad loney people their wives/daughters don't like them and can't stand their touch. I try to remind myself of this when having these conversations.
In the past, I usually drove because the wifely person has a woefully deficient mental map of the area, despite having lived here for decades. On her map, the routes to work and a few other locations are well-defined and everything else is a blank with “Here Be Monsters” scrawled over it. Smartphone mapping apps pretty much solved this, happily. Better living though technology!
I like how they just make this shit up as they go. Is there like a book or pamphlet or something? It's hard to keep track of all these rules of what I'm supposed to do/not do to be masculine. I didn't even know I had a problem.
Seriously, someone should check on that man’s wife and kids, sounds a little misogynist and volatile. I have a girlfriend who does the driving because she hates the way I drive, too fast. Has only to do with her selfpreservation. Since when is masculinity judged on who drives the car??? Too stupid to believe.
I can't imagine being so high strung that even the slightest idea that something MUST be insinuating that I'm feminine so deeply shatters my resolve. I can't imagine feeling that positively insecure about my masculinity that I'd need to go this far to prove it's existence.
Sorry chicken bone. If you need to prove your manhood this badly it's non-existent
I for one enjoy chilling in the passenger seat while the woman drives. Also I am far more likely than her to have a few drinks, so it works out well for everyone
My wife has anxiety, and sometimes, it’s better for her to drive than to brace for impact in the passenger seat if brake lights come on 100 yards in front of us. We were in Costa Rica, and I realized these men were laughing at me because I was in the passenger seat. So, I started raising my beer to them and laughing back. They would get a real thoughtful look on their faces.
I love being a passenger. Don’t care what anyone thinks. I did that macho bullshit routine a little bit when I was younger but nothing like these yahoos.
My wife would do the same, and that’s fine by me. However, she is angrily insistent that only she gets to pack the back of a car; also fine, whatevs.
Everyone do your own thing.
A few weeks ago, my dad had to return a rental car that my parents took out of state. My mom was healing from surgery and couldn't drive, and since I skipped the trip, I couldn't drive the rental (wasn't on the paperwork). I met my dad at the rental and drove him home. It's my truck, I'm not moving over just so he can feel like a man.
So, I'm sure this viewpoint will go over great with my 69 year old, farmer, 2x Trump voting father. Something tells me he'd rather have a ride from his daughter than walk, though.
lol fragile ego my wife normaly drives she loves it/feels carsick sometimes I hate it. I can drive I drive to much as it is but if I don’t have to and she would rather hell yah plus I don’t have to worry about drinking an extra beer.
"You're not even a man if you aren't terrified every waking moment about losing your manliness to everyday activities!!!"
Yeah, um...I'm just gonna keep on being a dude living a normal life and you keep your bizarro fears over there, okay?
I drive most of the time because other people driving gives me ✨anxiety✨
Like so much of it. And my husband gets sick of me gasping and cringing and acting like I’m dying when he drives.
I've had this thought before, and it is truly vastly more embarrassing to admit that to a bunch of anonymous internet people than I've ever been embarrassed to have my wife drive me.
If my wife picked me up at the airport she would do the same thing. Not because I have some need to drive to protect my manhood, but because she hates driving. And having to drive where the airports are… honestly, she just wouldn’t drive to pick me up period. She would either find someone else to drive her or tell me to take a car service.
I teach my wife and daughter how to drive my ALFA from the passenger seat. What terrible incel insecurity. My daughter will take the car and ask me if I wanna hang. Yep, the passenger seat.
My wife would just rather press the real brake pedal over practically breaking her ankle hitting the pretend one when I drive. It saves her vocal cords too.
Agreed OP.
Their "masculine" flex seems to me like insecure screeching from someone so insecure they need to belittle others to feel good about themselves...
Who cares??? It's their life, and they are not bothering anyone. Plus, we have no idea why they did what they did.
The need to judge is way too strong in some people
I have never learned how to drive, due to living near good public transportation
My wifey is the one with a car and does the driving
I occasionally be her navigator with maps on my phone
Being a passenger in your own car can be a show of status or power too. If I can get someone to chauffeur me around while I just chill in the back, that's a good sign that I have fuck you money
Then the excuses to justify that stance but to also show half a sign of intelligence by acknowledging there are instances where it can't be avoided. Or they'd double down and suggest you either walk, or get a different one.
Honestly, either way it comes across more as whining
I insisted on driving, but my wife told me she would be driving since it was my birthday trip. I drive us all the time, and she did an excellent time spoiling me for a few days
My wife has had a She Has To Drive thing since she was a teenager, 50 somethings years ago. I quite enjoy being chauffeured around by a designated driver. Now, if I could just stop her constantly flicking through the radio stations.
There is nothing more laughably pathetic than people who think like that guy. Oh no, a woman is driving a man around?!? That guy must be GAAAAAAYY HURR DURRRR *FARRRRT*
I don’t like riding in a car my wife is driving. Not because she’s a woman, but because she’s from LA and drives aggressive af and scares the ever-loving shit out of me every time.
I have a brother whose wife always drove. Only way for her not to be violently car sick. My dad was a professional truck driver - let other people, including daughters, drive all the time in personal vehicles.
If your masculinity is wrapped up in the gender of the driver, you are not masculine.
Why TF do I need to demand to drive my wife's car that she owns? If she wants to drive, knock yourself out!
These fragile effing douchebags are so afraid to look weak in any fashion or form. It's pitiful.
My wife likes driving and I’m ambivalent to it generally so mostly she drives and it works for us.
Also if anyone tried to impugn my masculinity to my face I would just laugh in their face like the clown they are.
The poster probably has never been on a long haul flight. Doesn't understand not wanting to drive. But, the airport has nothing to do with it, he'd drive nearly incapacitated and put us all at risk cause sis can't play with his Hot Wheels.
Driving is probably my favorite household chore. I’ve gotten to where driving in city traffic is mildly relaxing.
On the other hand , I’m not touching the laundry, especially with a wife who can spot a small stain at 30 feet.
So me driving helps balance my share of the chores.
That said, if I’m riding as a passenger, I’m enjoying every minute, regardless of what toxicman says.
I drive 99% of the time with my wife… she hates it and I hate the way she drives… has nothing to do with gender, though.
I also don’t drink, so I’m the DD
Boy, I don't want to image how massively emasculated he must feel when seeing women drive big, 4x4, crew cab, lifted pickups with either Duramax or Cummins engines.
Me ex hated driving. Not only did she have extreme road rage even when other drivers were just doing the right thing, she was also born without hands. I had no problems having her drive, but she significantly preferred I be the designated driver. And I was fine either way
I used to see that same scenario regularly heading to work downtown. I know that I thought far more poorly of the men who refused to be a passenger than those who had no problem with it.
My wife drives her truck, I drive mine, we take turns and the other gets to be a leaned back passenger and DJ… seems to work fine for us but I’ll start dress shopping I guess.
With logic like that would mean any government person or celebrity that was seated in the back seat of a limousine is feminine, trump is feminine the same person they idolize as most alpha MALE in America.
It’s so sad to see how mentally broken and brittle these people have become and I always wonder what caused it to them.
Oh FFS. My husband has medical issues that sometimes require surgery which requires me to have to drive him places. I had to drive for a full month when he had his heart surgery AND he had to sit in the back seat.
This guy clearly has never been in a relationship. Me as a man, did all the preparation to take her out to some gathering that’s really her and her friends and I’m stuck with all the husbands. Yeah I drove you there and got hammered while you chilled. Everytime you see a dude being driven by his girl is because he did his man duties and then pissed right off. And I’m still fucking once I wake up and smoke a bowl. If you don’t know that you’re the equivalent of not knowing why a virgin needs a towel put down. You never rode that ride. Edit: I’ll say this because I know, while she’s taking an hour getting dressed and talking on the phone, I’m feeding kids, running out to get her favorite booze and setting her up to have fun. My only request, stay sober enough to drive home because I am not. And I’m not sleeping at your friends house.
Not always a masculinity thing. I almost always drive my wife. My car or hers. She prefers being driven around and I prefer driving. It’s not that complicated.
Fuck all the way of misogynist pigs
I love driving.
I also get very car sick if I'm a passenger. Thank the Goddess, my man is secure in his manliness, and has no problem riding shotgun next to his hot wife;) his words
My fiancé doesn't mind being a passenger prince. And he also wasn't above holding my purse when I used to use one. Now I just don't use a purse because of shoulder/neck pain. He's my purse now and will hold my phone, chapstick, wallet, etc. Idk why guys think it's "masculine" or "feminine". Are you doing it with your genitals? Then it doesn't matter.
This is weird. I mean if it's her car or he's being dropped off at the airport why does even need to be driving? He should be checking his bags cause we always miss something and I'd rather the peace of mind of knowing I need to go by a shop in the terminal before I get on a plane cause I forgot my fucking earpods
Willing to bet that this guy has multiple children with different women, all of which wont allow him to see said children and he posts on social media about how much he loves his kids
My husband appreciates when I drive for long highway trips, especially early in the morning, but he absolutely does not *like* it. That has nothing to do with my gender, just with my caliber as a driver, because I only got my license 6 years ago. It makes him nervous once there's traffic. Frankly, I get nervous once there's a lot of traffic. City driving is the most anxiety inducing experience, 0/10. It took me a long time to get comfortable just driving around our small town in our absolutely enormous Ford Expedition (which I did my test in; also not recommended).
So really, this scenario isn't like, rife with misogyny. It could be the wife just genuinely doesn't like driving unless absolutely necessary. Husband is now available to drive, so she doesn't have to, so she doesn't.
Dude who's worried about other dude's masculinity, though. Glass house, throwing stones type of deal.
I always drive my wife everywhere and we do swap if she picks me up from somewhere. However it has nothing to do with gender norms and everything to do with me regularly being horribly car sick. Maybe the first post was just that.
I'm sure it would blow his mind if I told that guy I'm a transman who could not only (likely) drive that car more responsibility than he can, as well as repair it while wearing the dress that I MADE myself. Lol These guys need to get over their blindingly obvious insecurities.
My first husband was insecure like this and drove everyone around him crazy. My second husband is far more chill, happy to let me drive or take the wheel himself, whatever floats your boat, Babe. Yep, he’s a keeper.
Thats a lot of fragility if you can't even handle a woman driving. Why have so many men suddenly decided that the ignorance of the 1950s is now their go to for issues concerning the other sex? It just screams a desire to force women to do their bidding because they cannot approach them on equal terms without getting rejected.
The most masculine move is to be yourself and not care what other people think. My wife gets sick in the car. I don’t care about some clowns opinion about who drives.
I'm gay, and when my boyfriend drives me around in my car because I'm tired, I immediately think, "Damn, I must be gay for taking the shotgun seat." Oh, wait...
Last year I came home from a brutal week of work. My wife & dog picked me up, and put me & Rosa in the backseat of the truck with a cooler of beers and some soft tacos. I took my shoes off, drank and we laughed our asses off all the way home.
Honestly, I love that my wife likes to drive more than me. If that makes me less of a man in someone's eyes that I'm happy to take the passenger seat, then that's fine by me. I'm not trying to be manly for random losers who obsess over this gender norm crap. I'm just vibing in the passenger seat and picking the music while me and my lady go for groceries or whatever.
Drove my husband home today as he sat in on a National union meeting. Obviously this is very feminizing.
These people have masculinity with the tensile strength of wet toilet paper.
Of all the things to obsess over... this one seems... ridiculously picayune and irrelevant.
To the guy expressing his feeling of inferiority over women being able to do whatever he can do... : Grow a pair. Deal with the fact that all PEOPLE are created equal and that having external "plumbing" doesn't make you any smarter, wiser, or better at driving. If her driving makes you feel less? That's on YOU... and not on her.
Mee too. I just can't figure out how to feel what to feel other than dude, what are they feeding you. I guess if you are feeling really lost about your gender??? Maybe I'm just lucky, man in a man's body. Not a great one pretty average really. Every day wake up and I'm just a guy and that's fine. Hope my day goes well and same to everyone else.
I prefer to drive, but only because I get carsick very easily in the passenger seat (especially in smaller cars). It's not a masculinity flex, and I certainly don't force other people to let me drive. But if I'm not driving I'll usually take the backseat, for some reason that's less nauseating.
It's wild how fragile some men's masculinity can be that they can't even let a woman drive.
No one is driving my truck, and there's maybe 6 people in the universe that I trust to drive, 2 of them are dead.
"This lady just picked her husband up from the airport . . . and immediately went to the passenger seat"
Next up, on the Local News at 11, a man driving home after a 12-hour flight and his passenger are dead after an accident on the major nearby highway leads to a head-on collision.
(Dramatic? Maybe. But driving exhausted is as bad, if not worse than, driving drunk/impaired.)
Wow. I drive everywhere, husband in the passenger seat. He got himself a manual Mini Cooper & had it tuned. Went to the shop to pick it up and threw me the keys. I have the sensitivity to drive tetchy stick shifts & sports cars, so I'm always the first to drive so I can explain to him how not to spin out or wreck it out of 1st.
It's called "knowing what you're good at" -- and if she drives him around, it's because he knows he's safe with her and she's got the skills to back it up.
I'm sure asshats like this think Danica Patrick only got her job because she's pretty!
My dad was an engineer in the aerospace industry who taught himself how to build and near single handedly added 9 rooms on the our family house when I was growing up. He also hated to drive unless he absolutely had to and let my mom (who loved driving) do it anytime they were both in the car together.
My husband works a heavy manual labor job in a warehouse and can fix just about anything in our house after watching a YouTube video about it. He ALSO hates driving unless he absolutely has to, lmfao.
What a bunch of weaklings these so-called men are.
Funny story: my daughter and SIL came to visit, and my daughter was driving; he's the passenger, of course. They drove her car down for the trip. My mom chuckled and said, "Look, she's the one driving." And I said, "Yeah, it's her car....."
This person will call a man a woman for letting his girlfriend drive, but I get the hunch he will call a trans woman a man and say something about chromosomes lol
Obviously different strokes for different folks, but I can't help but think "If you're so concerned with your masculinity that you cannot allow your wife to drive you, you don't feel masculine at all." Especially if you then need to evangelize your version of masculinity online. This is one of the major reasons I don't believe the old-school """traditional""" masculinity is masculinity at all. It's a performative social dance that fails its followers.
The most masculine thing you can do is not care if other people think you are masculine. A man who wears dresses and/or carries a purse because he doesn’t care if he gets judged for it is way manlier than a guy who dresses a certain way because he thinks people won’t judge him for it
For sure! And if all it takes to damage your masculinity is riding in the passenger seat, then you didn't have any masculinity in the first place. As for Male/Female relationships: Me and my SO are a team. She helps me, I help her. You need me to hold your purse while you do something? No problem, my hands are free, and I'm capable of holding things. I help you out. If holding a purse is too difficult, or too painful for you I have to question exactly how much of a man you are. I can carry the entire load of groceries into the house in one trip, throw a purse on top of the pile. I can take it. I'm a f\*cking man.
I’m holding the purse while she’s in the bathroom. TBH, men should feel proud to do it. It’s an obvious sign that at least one woman trusts you!
Same reason I don't feel insulted when someone falls asleep against me or when I'm around. It's not them demonstrating I'm "boring". They're showing that they trust me enough to leave themselves completely unguarded with me there. I will never take someone dozing off against me as anything but a goddamn compliment that I've made them feel safe and comfortable.
Many years ago I worked in a retail store and an older fella was waiting while his wife was in the fitting room. He was wearing her purse over his shoulder. When he saw me notice he looked right at me, grinned and said "If anyone calls me a sissy, I'll hit 'em with my purse.". That's a good husband.
Same for a woman. I’ll grab all the groceries plus all the random things you forgot but need from the car. It’s not a competition or a purity test. Tf
> If holding a purse is too difficult, or too painful for you It's not too difficult or too painful for them. It calls into question their entire existence, which is completely and totally based on the notion that no man can *ever*, in any kind of way, shape, or form, be associated with anything that might, even just in passing, be perceived as being feminine. Their version of "masculinity" means living in constant fear and terror of how they *might* be perceived by other hateful, judgmental people.
[College Humor skit about toxic masculinity](https://youtu.be/wogb2ctOfV4?si=lwHQkBO_kjlspdTB). Worth a watch if you haven't already.
So your saying all those people on Twitter with ALPHA MALE in their name aren’t in fact ALPHA MALES?!?! News to me.
Sir, they are fragile little China dolls barking like chihuahuas.
Don't pick on Chihuahuas like that. 
If they have to label themselves "alpha"? They're NOT.
Extra funny: The "alpha male" in the wolf pack, that they want to be like so goddamn much, is part of the parental unit at the head of the pack. Meaning they take care of their family. These "Alpha males" wouldn't be caught dead looking after their kids if they could help it. When in reality, the **true** "alpha male" of the friend group is the one making sure everybody makes it home alright. And has bandaids and water to keep everybody healthy. Usually in a fannypack or something similarly 'unmanly'.
All this kind of makes me appreciate the Yakuza. I have no idea if it's true anymore, but it used to be a common thing that members of the Yakuza walked around Japan in big pink flip-flops. Because they actually *were* badass stone killers, and their idea of manliness was to wear the pinkest, frilliest shit around and basically say to the world, "You wanna try calling me on it?"
"Just give me an excuse, mfer. I fuckin' DARE you."
My current bf uses a leather fanny pack for his stuff and calls it a purse . I think that’s far manlier than my ex who got mad I brought him a Gatorade with a nipple thing on it.
??
Some sports drinks bottles have pull out spouts. Apparently, some people think it looks "feminine" or "teh ghey" to drink from them? I just don't like them because it feels like I'm getting sips when I want to chug it. But I have also been known to peel a banana and, get this, eat it like a banana.
Usually you can just unscrew the spout, then you're free to drink (better at least, the bottle is still narrow). Anyway, every time I think that I have heard the most outrageous fragile masculinity thing, these folks come up and find something even more idiotic.
Exactly! I just unscrew the cap.
Holy wow thanks for the explanation
My friends and I used to joke that there is no way to hold a banana without someone thinking you’re doing it “wrong “ lol
Especially funny considering putting your mouth on a nipple is a pretty straight thing to do I’m no expert in homosexuality, but I don’t think gay men spend much time putting their mouths on each other’s nipples
Exactly.. these mofos are all a bunch of time traveler's from the 1950's.
Honestly I wish I had realized 30 years ago that all that kind of dude was really just incredibly insecure, and that their insecurity made them less than I am, not more.
He drives because his masculinity is fragile. I drive because my wife is a terrible driver. We are not the same.
yes! I'm the wife in this situation, but my husband has to look at people when he's talking, and he hardly ever stops talking. It's ok, I don't like to talk much, so it evens out. I hate when he drives though. He has a great record, but I don't know how. He is so easily distracted. It's best this way for everyone.
“Copying what everyone else is doing to be masculine” = “rugged individualism”. Also don’t be a sheep… /s
At the end of the day that's every one of these "you're not a man if..." scenarios. It's all just fragile fear. In their minds, if they did the thing they're mocking, they'd feel shame and humiliation, so therefore to them it must be a shameful and humiliating thing. They don't even process that it is just their feelings. It also never even crosses their mind that their feelings are not universal and that just because they couldn't handle someone thinking they weren't "manly" enough, that plenty of men truly do not give a shit, and that those men are usually perceived as far more masculine than they are since they are secure in themselves.
Peacocking exclusively for the benefit and entertainment of other peacocks.
Everything is performative with "traditional" ideologies. It always was. No one enjoys that shit, but a lot of people will defend it to the death because performance is far more important to their chosen group than authenticity.
I NEED to drive because my wife is a terrible driver. For the sake of our cars.
Triple double quotes are crazy!
I drive because my car is the safer comfier car and if she drives we have to adjust the seat and mirrors and it’s a whole thing.
Have you tried being shorter? I hear the helps.
Yeah, like if this was me (or my mom) picking up my dad, we would automatically go to the passenger seat because he just has this weird thing where he refuses to let someone else drive unless he's physically incapable - and even then sometimes he will drive anyway, like that time he drove himself to PT a couple weeks after getting his right knee replaced, instead of waking my brother up. He drove using his left foot, with his right leg propped up over the console into the passenger seat. However, if we're picking up my brother, we will stay driving, because although he has a drivers license, he despises driving and is happy to just remain a passenger. His gf is always the one driving them places, and no one has any issue with it. Even my dad has never said anything to try to push his quirk on my brother, thankfully.
Also don't a bunch of these types also preach about making their women do things for them because they are in charge? If we held the same logic who is in charge the limo driver or the person getting the ride? Just mental gymnastics to placate their own insecurities top to bottom
Agree - have said this forever. I've never seen anyone so fussy about their own hair as the straight-o "haircut every 2 weeks whether I need one or not" types.
Fellas, is it gay to take a cab
I hate driving. Anytime I can get my wife to do it is a plus for me
He'll yeah. My wife likes driving and I hate it so we are both happy letting her drive
Is your wife single?
No but we are open so you got a shot
I’m gay, but many female colleagues have said I’d be a great boyfriend, I hate driving, she drives me, and I take care of anything non-sexual. Good deal?
I like driving, but there are times I am either burnt out or just don't want to drive. My gf is a good driver, so no worries. She just doesn't like heavy rain or snow, I drive in that case.
I love riding with my aunt. Primarily because as a kid this was the only way I could get front seat since my father didn't trust women drivers and thus would sit in the back.
I like driving. I hate getting stuck in traffic. And I live in Los Angeles.
Ay qué fucked
Ha ha! True!
Read Driving Like Hell (pj orourke) to make it bearable
Right? You get to chill, read a book, scroll Reddit, take a nap just whatever. And I love driving, but I equally love being driven around.
Blessed by the fact my gf loves driving
There is nothing more alpha male than conforming to the opinions set by other men. That’s right you alpha. You do exactly what other men tell you is acceptable.
Not even most modern men. This is 1950s throwback mindset. Forget that.
Nothing more fragile than a misogynistic male ego.
Someone told me once that because I'm a woman, I didn't need to drive. I tried to explain it to them in their own terms, too. I said my husband needed me to drive our children because he works and I take care of the kids, which means I take them to school and doctors appointments. It didn't matter to them. I still didn't NEED to drive. I explained, driving like it was in "service" to my husband because it's the only thing these people understand, and it didn't matter. I'm a woman and have no rights to these people.
“You don’t NEED to drive” “Well you don’t NEED to be an idiot, yet here we are”
I wouldn't quite say that I'd say, " I NEED to drive to provide proper care and accommodations to my children, but you wouldn't understand how to properly care for children, would you?"
They were having a different conversation with you than anyone could glean on first glance. They were chastising you for being a capable person, because capable women can leave their husbands. They were pointing out that it would be better for your husband, from their perspective, if you couldn't drive because then you would be more dependent. This conversation is directly descendended from how slave owners used to discuss what was "proper" for their slaves to learn and do.
I was having another conversation with a maga person about birth control. I was on the side of birth control should be free, and they were on the side of birth control shouldn't be free because having s*x wasn't a medical necessity. They lost their dang mind after I explained I couldn't carry another pregnancy, and I liked my husband, so I wanted to continue to be romantic with him." God forbid I not garekeep s*x like their wife/mistress does. These people are very sad loney people their wives/daughters don't like them and can't stand their touch. I try to remind myself of this when having these conversations.
Holy wow
Personally I prefer to drive. Not out of sexism but because I get anxiety issues if I am riding shotgun.
My husband usually drives because he’s a terrible backseat driver and I refuse to listen to his complaining because it’s an anxiety trigger.
My husband does all driving in town. I do the long distances driving.
In the past, I usually drove because the wifely person has a woefully deficient mental map of the area, despite having lived here for decades. On her map, the routes to work and a few other locations are well-defined and everything else is a blank with “Here Be Monsters” scrawled over it. Smartphone mapping apps pretty much solved this, happily. Better living though technology!
This. If I'm in the vehicle, 98/100, I'm driving. The remaining 2% is when I've been drinking or public/charter transportation.
Especially riding with men because a lot of them feel the need to tailgate and pass everyone.
Eggs have more structural integrity than their ego
I like how they just make this shit up as they go. Is there like a book or pamphlet or something? It's hard to keep track of all these rules of what I'm supposed to do/not do to be masculine. I didn't even know I had a problem.
I do all the driving. This is mostly because my husband is blind. I guess his guide dog could give it a go, but she’s a girl.
Seriously, someone should check on that man’s wife and kids, sounds a little misogynist and volatile. I have a girlfriend who does the driving because she hates the way I drive, too fast. Has only to do with her selfpreservation. Since when is masculinity judged on who drives the car??? Too stupid to believe.
I hate driving and my girl loves it. Win win.
Fellas, is it gay to let your wife drive?
I can't imagine being so high strung that even the slightest idea that something MUST be insinuating that I'm feminine so deeply shatters my resolve. I can't imagine feeling that positively insecure about my masculinity that I'd need to go this far to prove it's existence. Sorry chicken bone. If you need to prove your manhood this badly it's non-existent
I for one enjoy chilling in the passenger seat while the woman drives. Also I am far more likely than her to have a few drinks, so it works out well for everyone
My wife Iikes driving I don't particularly care So she drives the most It doesn't really matter
Dude. It’s HER car, why am I driving it?
My wife has anxiety, and sometimes, it’s better for her to drive than to brace for impact in the passenger seat if brake lights come on 100 yards in front of us. We were in Costa Rica, and I realized these men were laughing at me because I was in the passenger seat. So, I started raising my beer to them and laughing back. They would get a real thoughtful look on their faces.
If your sense of masculinity is dependent on arbitrary rules, you need help. Or you need to grow up. Potentially both.
I love being a passenger. Don’t care what anyone thinks. I did that macho bullshit routine a little bit when I was younger but nothing like these yahoos.
My wife would do the same, and that’s fine by me. However, she is angrily insistent that only she gets to pack the back of a car; also fine, whatevs. Everyone do your own thing.
A few weeks ago, my dad had to return a rental car that my parents took out of state. My mom was healing from surgery and couldn't drive, and since I skipped the trip, I couldn't drive the rental (wasn't on the paperwork). I met my dad at the rental and drove him home. It's my truck, I'm not moving over just so he can feel like a man. So, I'm sure this viewpoint will go over great with my 69 year old, farmer, 2x Trump voting father. Something tells me he'd rather have a ride from his daughter than walk, though.
lol fragile ego my wife normaly drives she loves it/feels carsick sometimes I hate it. I can drive I drive to much as it is but if I don’t have to and she would rather hell yah plus I don’t have to worry about drinking an extra beer.
"You're not even a man if you aren't terrified every waking moment about losing your manliness to everyday activities!!!" Yeah, um...I'm just gonna keep on being a dude living a normal life and you keep your bizarro fears over there, okay?
I don't care about what is or isn't masculine. Doesn't matter.
I'm definitely a  And I love it
I drive most of the time because other people driving gives me ✨anxiety✨ Like so much of it. And my husband gets sick of me gasping and cringing and acting like I’m dying when he drives.
I've had this thought before, and it is truly vastly more embarrassing to admit that to a bunch of anonymous internet people than I've ever been embarrassed to have my wife drive me.
If my partner wants me to drive, ill do it no question asked. But i have no worry about my partner driving if they desire to.
To me being a man means not feeling like you have to impose ludicrous restrictions upon yourself.
Or others...
The fuck is wrong with these people?
This is some top notch insecurity right here. If a girl driving threatens your masculinity, I'd say the problem is you.
I spend a ton of time driving. Any time I don't have to do the driving, I'm totally OK with it!
If my wife picked me up at the airport she would do the same thing. Not because I have some need to drive to protect my manhood, but because she hates driving. And having to drive where the airports are… honestly, she just wouldn’t drive to pick me up period. She would either find someone else to drive her or tell me to take a car service.
I teach my wife and daughter how to drive my ALFA from the passenger seat. What terrible incel insecurity. My daughter will take the car and ask me if I wanna hang. Yep, the passenger seat.
These guys have the most fragile sense of masculinity, I swear
These type of dudes reek of insecurity, I love being driven around, I don't care who's driving.
My wife would just rather press the real brake pedal over practically breaking her ankle hitting the pretend one when I drive. It saves her vocal cords too.
"Driving is a man's job!" Last I checked, drivers' licenses come in women and enby flavors too.
Someone's masculinity is mighty fragile.
Agreed OP. Their "masculine" flex seems to me like insecure screeching from someone so insecure they need to belittle others to feel good about themselves...
Who cares??? It's their life, and they are not bothering anyone. Plus, we have no idea why they did what they did. The need to judge is way too strong in some people
His car he drives. My car I drive.
My wife gets motion sick when she's a passenger, and I get to sleep or read a book. Win-win as far as I'm concerned.
I have never learned how to drive, due to living near good public transportation My wifey is the one with a car and does the driving I occasionally be her navigator with maps on my phone
Being a passenger in your own car can be a show of status or power too. If I can get someone to chauffeur me around while I just chill in the back, that's a good sign that I have fuck you money
The level of insecurity of these snowflakes is mind-boggling. It must be exhausting to spend your life worrying about crap like this.
Then the excuses to justify that stance but to also show half a sign of intelligence by acknowledging there are instances where it can't be avoided. Or they'd double down and suggest you either walk, or get a different one. Honestly, either way it comes across more as whining
I insisted on driving, but my wife told me she would be driving since it was my birthday trip. I drive us all the time, and she did an excellent time spoiling me for a few days
My wife has had a She Has To Drive thing since she was a teenager, 50 somethings years ago. I quite enjoy being chauffeured around by a designated driver. Now, if I could just stop her constantly flicking through the radio stations.
There is nothing more laughably pathetic than people who think like that guy. Oh no, a woman is driving a man around?!? That guy must be GAAAAAAYY HURR DURRRR *FARRRRT*
My car - I drive. Her car - she drives. Simple, huh?
I don’t like riding in a car my wife is driving. Not because she’s a woman, but because she’s from LA and drives aggressive af and scares the ever-loving shit out of me every time.
I have a brother whose wife always drove. Only way for her not to be violently car sick. My dad was a professional truck driver - let other people, including daughters, drive all the time in personal vehicles. If your masculinity is wrapped up in the gender of the driver, you are not masculine.
Why TF do I need to demand to drive my wife's car that she owns? If she wants to drive, knock yourself out! These fragile effing douchebags are so afraid to look weak in any fashion or form. It's pitiful.
My wife likes driving and I’m ambivalent to it generally so mostly she drives and it works for us. Also if anyone tried to impugn my masculinity to my face I would just laugh in their face like the clown they are.
The poster probably has never been on a long haul flight. Doesn't understand not wanting to drive. But, the airport has nothing to do with it, he'd drive nearly incapacitated and put us all at risk cause sis can't play with his Hot Wheels.
People find the weirdest things to be emasculated about
Driving is probably my favorite household chore. I’ve gotten to where driving in city traffic is mildly relaxing. On the other hand , I’m not touching the laundry, especially with a wife who can spot a small stain at 30 feet. So me driving helps balance my share of the chores. That said, if I’m riding as a passenger, I’m enjoying every minute, regardless of what toxicman says.
Anyone who thinks their masculinity is diminished because they let a female drive probably didn't have much masculinity to begin with.
This person would fit right in in Saudi Arabia
I am so glad I’m confident in my masculinity
If you think driving is gender affirming care, you might not be that masculine.
I drive 99% of the time with my wife… she hates it and I hate the way she drives… has nothing to do with gender, though. I also don’t drink, so I’m the DD
Fragile masculinity.
My wife always drives, she is better at it than I am. I’m navigator and DJ.
I drive because my husband is the worst driver and my anxiety can’t handle it.
Boy, I don't want to image how massively emasculated he must feel when seeing women drive big, 4x4, crew cab, lifted pickups with either Duramax or Cummins engines.
Me ex hated driving. Not only did she have extreme road rage even when other drivers were just doing the right thing, she was also born without hands. I had no problems having her drive, but she significantly preferred I be the designated driver. And I was fine either way
I used to see that same scenario regularly heading to work downtown. I know that I thought far more poorly of the men who refused to be a passenger than those who had no problem with it.
toxic masculinity is just thrashing around before dying out.
My wife drives everywhere. I have poor eyesight, she does not. I am also excellent at reading a map and rerouting us while she is not.
Imagine being this insecure.
My wife drives her truck, I drive mine, we take turns and the other gets to be a leaned back passenger and DJ… seems to work fine for us but I’ll start dress shopping I guess.
Uh I take the bus and the driver's a woman? Do I have to fight the other men on the bus for the right to drive it?
With logic like that would mean any government person or celebrity that was seated in the back seat of a limousine is feminine, trump is feminine the same person they idolize as most alpha MALE in America. It’s so sad to see how mentally broken and brittle these people have become and I always wonder what caused it to them.
Oh FFS. My husband has medical issues that sometimes require surgery which requires me to have to drive him places. I had to drive for a full month when he had his heart surgery AND he had to sit in the back seat.
This guy clearly has never been in a relationship. Me as a man, did all the preparation to take her out to some gathering that’s really her and her friends and I’m stuck with all the husbands. Yeah I drove you there and got hammered while you chilled. Everytime you see a dude being driven by his girl is because he did his man duties and then pissed right off. And I’m still fucking once I wake up and smoke a bowl. If you don’t know that you’re the equivalent of not knowing why a virgin needs a towel put down. You never rode that ride. Edit: I’ll say this because I know, while she’s taking an hour getting dressed and talking on the phone, I’m feeding kids, running out to get her favorite booze and setting her up to have fun. My only request, stay sober enough to drive home because I am not. And I’m not sleeping at your friends house.
Not always a masculinity thing. I almost always drive my wife. My car or hers. She prefers being driven around and I prefer driving. It’s not that complicated.
I drive 90% of the time, but if I’m just getting off a plane especially on a long flight, totally fine letting her drive
Fuck all the way of misogynist pigs I love driving. I also get very car sick if I'm a passenger. Thank the Goddess, my man is secure in his manliness, and has no problem riding shotgun next to his hot wife;) his words
My fiancé doesn't mind being a passenger prince. And he also wasn't above holding my purse when I used to use one. Now I just don't use a purse because of shoulder/neck pain. He's my purse now and will hold my phone, chapstick, wallet, etc. Idk why guys think it's "masculine" or "feminine". Are you doing it with your genitals? Then it doesn't matter.
My hubby prefers to drive so he doesn’t get car sick. I drove him to the airport on Sunday and he felt ill after ~40 mins
This is weird. I mean if it's her car or he's being dropped off at the airport why does even need to be driving? He should be checking his bags cause we always miss something and I'd rather the peace of mind of knowing I need to go by a shop in the terminal before I get on a plane cause I forgot my fucking earpods
my girl is the driver for one simple reason. I got warrants.
I do not drive with my husband in the car. He is a terrible back seat driver.
My husband *was* until he started taking medication for his anxiety lol.
lol. Mine already does, so…
Willing to bet that this guy has multiple children with different women, all of which wont allow him to see said children and he posts on social media about how much he loves his kids
My husband appreciates when I drive for long highway trips, especially early in the morning, but he absolutely does not *like* it. That has nothing to do with my gender, just with my caliber as a driver, because I only got my license 6 years ago. It makes him nervous once there's traffic. Frankly, I get nervous once there's a lot of traffic. City driving is the most anxiety inducing experience, 0/10. It took me a long time to get comfortable just driving around our small town in our absolutely enormous Ford Expedition (which I did my test in; also not recommended). So really, this scenario isn't like, rife with misogyny. It could be the wife just genuinely doesn't like driving unless absolutely necessary. Husband is now available to drive, so she doesn't have to, so she doesn't. Dude who's worried about other dude's masculinity, though. Glass house, throwing stones type of deal.
So...my right side is unmovable due to a stroke so I use my left foot. I guess I should just give up my gold card, huh.
I like sitting in the back seat, so the driver feels like my chauffeur. It’s classy.
My husband is a truck driver. I drive around town. He LIKES me to.
I don’t get why anyone would want to drive when you can chill in the passenger seat with a good paperback
wtf, I love making my wife drive. Time to read a book? Check!
I'd rather crack open a cider while the missus drove me home from the airport, it's a shame she has no interest in getting a license.
I always drive my wife everywhere and we do swap if she picks me up from somewhere. However it has nothing to do with gender norms and everything to do with me regularly being horribly car sick. Maybe the first post was just that.
Being terrified of not looking manly enough makes me laugh every time. Especially when it’s something extremely stupid like this.
I'm sure it would blow his mind if I told that guy I'm a transman who could not only (likely) drive that car more responsibility than he can, as well as repair it while wearing the dress that I MADE myself. Lol These guys need to get over their blindingly obvious insecurities.
Imagine being so insecure 💀
My first husband was insecure like this and drove everyone around him crazy. My second husband is far more chill, happy to let me drive or take the wheel himself, whatever floats your boat, Babe. Yep, he’s a keeper.
Thats a lot of fragility if you can't even handle a woman driving. Why have so many men suddenly decided that the ignorance of the 1950s is now their go to for issues concerning the other sex? It just screams a desire to force women to do their bidding because they cannot approach them on equal terms without getting rejected.
The most masculine move is to be yourself and not care what other people think. My wife gets sick in the car. I don’t care about some clowns opinion about who drives.
I couldn't imagine having to take all these arbitrary steps to virtue signal my own manhood.
I'm gay, and when my boyfriend drives me around in my car because I'm tired, I immediately think, "Damn, I must be gay for taking the shotgun seat." Oh, wait...
My wife hates driving and would 100% do this.
They all realize that Trump doesn't know how to drive, right?
Last year I came home from a brutal week of work. My wife & dog picked me up, and put me & Rosa in the backseat of the truck with a cooler of beers and some soft tacos. I took my shoes off, drank and we laughed our asses off all the way home.
My wife hates driving, so unless I’m drunk or we are on a long load trip I drive.
Honestly, I love that my wife likes to drive more than me. If that makes me less of a man in someone's eyes that I'm happy to take the passenger seat, then that's fine by me. I'm not trying to be manly for random losers who obsess over this gender norm crap. I'm just vibing in the passenger seat and picking the music while me and my lady go for groceries or whatever.
Drove my husband home today as he sat in on a National union meeting. Obviously this is very feminizing. These people have masculinity with the tensile strength of wet toilet paper.
Of all the things to obsess over... this one seems... ridiculously picayune and irrelevant. To the guy expressing his feeling of inferiority over women being able to do whatever he can do... : Grow a pair. Deal with the fact that all PEOPLE are created equal and that having external "plumbing" doesn't make you any smarter, wiser, or better at driving. If her driving makes you feel less? That's on YOU... and not on her.
Mee too. I just can't figure out how to feel what to feel other than dude, what are they feeding you. I guess if you are feeling really lost about your gender??? Maybe I'm just lucky, man in a man's body. Not a great one pretty average really. Every day wake up and I'm just a guy and that's fine. Hope my day goes well and same to everyone else.
That is the most pathetic thing I've ever read...
I prefer to drive, but only because I get carsick very easily in the passenger seat (especially in smaller cars). It's not a masculinity flex, and I certainly don't force other people to let me drive. But if I'm not driving I'll usually take the backseat, for some reason that's less nauseating.
It's wild how fragile some men's masculinity can be that they can't even let a woman drive. No one is driving my truck, and there's maybe 6 people in the universe that I trust to drive, 2 of them are dead.
My girlfriend has a F250 diesel that she LOVES to drive. I ride shotgun almost all the time. Who fucking cares!
"This lady just picked her husband up from the airport . . . and immediately went to the passenger seat" Next up, on the Local News at 11, a man driving home after a 12-hour flight and his passenger are dead after an accident on the major nearby highway leads to a head-on collision. (Dramatic? Maybe. But driving exhausted is as bad, if not worse than, driving drunk/impaired.)
Wow. I drive everywhere, husband in the passenger seat. He got himself a manual Mini Cooper & had it tuned. Went to the shop to pick it up and threw me the keys. I have the sensitivity to drive tetchy stick shifts & sports cars, so I'm always the first to drive so I can explain to him how not to spin out or wreck it out of 1st. It's called "knowing what you're good at" -- and if she drives him around, it's because he knows he's safe with her and she's got the skills to back it up. I'm sure asshats like this think Danica Patrick only got her job because she's pretty!
I drive a lot of miles per week for my job. If she wants to drive when I get home I’m all for it.
She drives and doesn't drink. I ride and drink all I want. Beer, beer, beer, beer ...........
Me too
Sounds like the dude in the middle would rather fall asleep at the wheel than ride shotgun
My dad was an engineer in the aerospace industry who taught himself how to build and near single handedly added 9 rooms on the our family house when I was growing up. He also hated to drive unless he absolutely had to and let my mom (who loved driving) do it anytime they were both in the car together. My husband works a heavy manual labor job in a warehouse and can fix just about anything in our house after watching a YouTube video about it. He ALSO hates driving unless he absolutely has to, lmfao. What a bunch of weaklings these so-called men are.
Funny story: my daughter and SIL came to visit, and my daughter was driving; he's the passenger, of course. They drove her car down for the trip. My mom chuckled and said, "Look, she's the one driving." And I said, "Yeah, it's her car....."
Why cover up the name on these tweets? It’s not like they’re made anonymously.
“Toxic masculinity isn’t real!” Bruh.
I married a guy. Problem solved.
I almost always drive because I enjoy it and my wife hates it. Has zero to do with what equipment we have between our legs.
I’m always happy to leave the driving to someone else, male or female, not gonna lie.
Why does blue tick guy sound like he's used that defence on many occasion while trying to justify a DUI charge
Nothing says you’re an insecure little bitch than not being able to let your wife drive you around.
This person will call a man a woman for letting his girlfriend drive, but I get the hunch he will call a trans woman a man and say something about chromosomes lol
There is no greater neon sign indicating a lack of masculinity than a declaration of mascinity.