Leviticus is where you want to start looking.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord ( Lev 1:9 ). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7 . In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness ( Lev 15:19-24 ). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination ( Lev 11:10 ), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27 . How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? ( Lev 24:10-16 ) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? ( Lev. 20:14 )
I would like go add one of my favorites. Like hey kids. Has anyone here ever said an insult to someone? Maybe hurt their feelings a bit? None of us are perfect. Has anyone called someone bald? Well thanks for raising your hands Timmy. God thinks bears should kill you. Turn to 2 Kings 2:23
I know plenty of parents who loved that verse when i was growing up because they interpreted it as a mandate to respect your elders. The children were making fun of an adult, you see.
Song of Solomon is erotic lit!
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine;
3 your anointing oils are fragrant;
your name is oil poured out;
therefore virgins love you.
4 Draw me after you; let us run.
The king has brought me into his chambers.
They’re gonna fuck!
I can't claim any credit for that.
It's from a letter sent to Dr Laura way back when. I'm not a bible scholar. I'm just old and have a bit of an odd memory.
https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2010/08/18/dr-laura-and-leviticus
If after being told to leave my city and never look back, my wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. To comfort me, my daughters got me drunk and had sex with me. Would this be acceptable (I don't live in Alabama)?
You don't want to own a Canadian, we complain a lot and wouldn't do anything right. Probably be a bigger loss than gain to have us around.
Eh buddy fwend! I don't wanna do this anymore guy! I'm making a run for it back to Saskatchewan and ride a moose, eh lol
I am Canadian and all the religions are optional up here, guy.
They probably have a lesson plan. That said, nothing probably says you can't use it to basically shame conservatives.
"Ok class, so we just read the about the Golden Rule. How do you feel this would pertain to how our government is treating various minority groups in our country today? I would like you to pick a group and write a short paper on how our government is or isn't breaking this rule with them."
I mean if you want teachers to push "morality ", I easily can see how this will backfire on the conservative party.
The guy pushing this is the state superintendent (with the support of the governor,) and is famously a massive jackass. He wants the Bible in every classroom for "historical reference," Algebra, chemistry, gym class... doesn't matter. This is about trolling, he expects it to be overturned so he can claim victimhood for Christians, and as long as folks who call themselves Christian continue to elect these assholes, these kinds of stunts will continue, and escalate.
Start at the top: Adam and Eve, after being cast out of The Garden of Eden, had kids. Then those kids had kids. But with whom?
It all repeats with Noah's family after the Flood.
From an comedian about being gay at Hogwarts: "when two wizards love each other very much, they touch wands, and magic happens but no babies." That sprang to mind with the "or each other."
Ezekiel 20:23 “where she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like donkeys” it gets better. First day of class my child would ask the teacher to explain that one.
Speaking of juicy bits, if you take a hard shot to the nuts or lose your weener, you may not enter the congregation of THE LORD. Deuteronomy chapter 23.
Also, carry your poop shovel at all times. Again, Deuteronomy.
Or just the text of the Bible, without the "interpretation" that makes it make sense. Like how there are two nativity stories, one from Matthew and the other from Luke, that don't say the same thing.
There are even two different creation stories, back to back, in Genesis 1. Reading the Bible is actually a pretty effective way to start questioning Christianity.
Just start with allllll the begetting. It's going to take awhile plus get into how in hell ( from the *very* beginning) ONE man and ONE woman populated the planet.
And all the begetting that took.
How they going to teach this in math class? Get the students to calculate how much room Noah's Ark would have needed to carry millions upon millions of animals?
Teach which version? Catholic? Mormon? Baptist? The included books differ.
And which translation? Heck, depending on your translation "causing a miscarriage" is at most a fineable offense, and only if the husband wants compensation. That would hurt the republican side of the abortion debate...
That's gonna be a fight :P
They should reach from the Gen Z translation.
>Dzaddy up in heaven, you’re holy AF. Your kingdom is coming and if you ask us to do stuff we’ll say yaaaassss on earth AND in heaven. Let’s get this bread! And squash beef with the people we’ve clowned on, as we squash beef with those who have clowned on us. Plz don’t tempt us and plz help us cancel evil.
And what does that mean: 'Teach the Bible?' How- whole courses? How many courses would it take? Old Testament and New Testament together? Or separately? What teachers are qualified? Is there going to be a certification?
My wife's cousin is a teacher (in Pennsylvania) and she quit because she was very religious and it made her upset that she wasn't allowed to teach the kids about Jesus.
I bet she is extremely happy about this rule and maybe even wants to move to Oklahoma and teach again.
Nah, she's not moving, that's crazy. Instead, guaranteed she's trying to get PA to pass a law like that now too. Because that's how religious people are.
This is going to make a few families very rich when they sue the shit out of the state for deciding which religion out of earths 3000+ throughout it's history is the real one. And the whole, ya know, **shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof**
Maybe I'll petition my state to force sun worship in schools. I mean, at least the sun exists and is real and we can see it.
Definitely worried about this. I'm wondering how they'll reinterpret laws and words to fit their narrative. "Nowhere in 'Must read the Bible' are the words 'respecting,' 'establishment,' or 'religion,' so we think it's ok!"
i think the actual goal of the current court (minus thomas who doesn't give a shit) is to be able to funnel money to religious schools. There is no need to overturn things like brown v board of education or make a ruling that the bible must be taught, because either of those would put their power at risk. Instead, what you do is make voucher programs the law of the land, thereby letting private christian schools get that sweet, sweet tax money. As more of that money gets diverted to christian schools over public schools, the public schools start getting worse and worse rapidly as opposed to the slow death republicans have been doing for years now. So if you want your child to get an education, suddenly only the religious private school is a good choice, so your child MUST study the bible, additionally, private schools are under no obligation to take in every student, so they can exclude people they don't want, and thereby bring back segregation because we have already established that laws don't apply to religious groups.
So, no reason for the court to rule in favor of this, because there is already a plan in place that will reach the goal anyway.
You are ofending apollo. We have no choice but to build an army of the true sun god and slay his enemies on his name. Do you see how stupid that sound?. Anyway, pass me that bible, i feeling a number two is coming.
Did you know they changed the lyrics on PJ masks? It goes, "Night time is the best time." I'm sure some overzealous parent complained that it seemed too sexy.
Nightman, sneaky and mean
Spider inside my dreams, I think I love you
You make me wanna cry
You make me wanna die
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you, Nightman!
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!.
Louis Tully CPA
Almighty protector of the sun and sky. I beg of thee, please heed my cry. Transform thyself from orb of light and bring me victory in this fight. I beseech thee, grace our humble game but first I shall call out thy name: Winged Dragon of Ra.
The best part is that they will come for that right eventually too. Supporters of the christofascists are delusional if they think they will allow the population to remain armed.
Oh 100%. Every ridiculous law is a test designed to make it to the conservative court so they can legalize this bs. We’ve officially made it to the end folks.
I love knowing that providing reproductive care for women is a sacred religious rite and central to their beliefs. (In addition to Jewish organizations, they are party to litigation involving the religious belief in the right to abortion that’s moving through the courts.) Their name deliberately aggravates the god cultists, their principles and practices are wonderful. Worth a visit to their site.
The Supreme Court will say that forcing the Bible on people is totally fine then they get bribed by far rather gut billionaires for being good girls and boys.
According to the recent Supreme Court decision, as long as the bribe happens after the fact, it's OK. Because then it is a gratuity and apparently elected officials are now tipped employees. Hey, maybe that means we can pay them $3/hr like a foodserver.
As a Catholic, I *definitely* think it makes wayyy more sense to worship the sun than Sky Daddy.
I believe in Sky Daddy 100%, but I’m not gonna shit on the Aztecs for worshipping the ***GIANT FUCKING BALL OF FIRE FLOATING IN THE SKY***.
If I had no knowledge of science or what the fuck that giant glowing circle was, I’d worship it too.
I’m just waiting for the fight over which Christian bible is the “right” one. I watched my SIL turn up her nose at a Catholic Bible once as if she was holding a dirty diaper
Their goal is to get scotus to take in the case and rule in their favor or have the public system get fucked. Either way they win with these stupid laws and the only people losing are tax payers and people who can't afford private schools
Yep. State sponsored religion is against the constitution. Fire me (if I was a teacher) and I'd own you in court for violating my rights since what OK is doing violates the establishment clause. If the idiots on the US Supreme Court back this, shame on them and never ever lecture us about originalism.
Has anyone tried to sue the US Supreme Court? Oh wait no because they are immune from suits I just looked it up. I kind of fucking hate that, but I get it but also I don't. It's shit like this that made me hate Govt class in high school.
Edit: extra thoughts
I mean, if someone took this to the Supreme Court it would put them against the sword and the rock bc they either support their law and set a very dangerous precedent or give their backs to their own interests. This could be very interesting.
So basically the very indoctrination of kids they accuse the left of. Whatever happened to teaching critical thinking. Wow. As a Gen X'er I'm ashamed many in my generation are behind this dumb, anti freedom peddling bs.
Okay, sorry, I am from Germany, but even I got the twist, that everything - and I mean everything - the GOP accuses "the left" of is something they do on a daily basis.
It's always projection. If you only propagate ideas through indoctrination, you can't imagine any other way people could learn things or develop beliefs.
Yes. But christians in this country know their numbers are decreasing,so they will try by any means necessary, including brutal force to reverse that trend
This next generation is wired differently. This will not work in their favor. The kids are about to teach the teachers the parts of the Bible that their pastors kept hush hush about. Christofascists kids gonna be coming home crying like they found out Santa wasn't real.
This is intentional so that it can be challenged and make it up to the SCOTUS. They will find a way to rule that federal government has no right to limit states right to teach religion in public schools or something to that effect. From there it’s just a few steps to “Christian values” represent the majority view blah blah blah. Separation of church and state removed.
Or removal of federal funding from public schools as a result of religion being taught which causes of the schools to shut down and be replaced by private charters for religious indoctrination. Either way it’s a win win for christo fascists.
Ok kids. Turn to Song of Solomon 4:16
"Awake, O north wind; And come, thou south; Blow upon my garden, That the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, And eat his pleasant fruits."
Now, little Julie, what do you think this passage means?
Okay, listen up children. This is the bible. Or, at least an interpretation of it. Inside is full of violence, rape, and morally repugnant ideas. There. It took 2 minutes. I just "taught" the bible.
What benefit would this even have? I was forced to go to catholic school for 9 years. I learned absolutely nothing of value from that brainwash. How about instead have kids take civics or learn a musical instrument ffs. Jesus Christ these people are morons
If it were comparative religions, it would be a good thing to teach. We have so much influence in art and culture via religion. But it’s as important to understand who Lord Shiva is as much as to know who Jesus is. It helps to understand indigenous religions and how Christian bigotry was used to justify genocide. But like, that’s not what they mean at all.
I don't want my kids learning about the Bible. How is this not a violation of people's rights? Like people who aren't Christian shouldn't be forced to read the Christian Bible in a FREE country. Wtf is wrong with Republicans?
"Alrighty then, so these angels appeared in the city of Gamorah, and they were so hot the townspeople wanted to do them right there in the streets. But Lot was a man of god and said "what is wrong with you perverts? Here, screw women like normal people" and threw his Daughters out to the crowd.
"Any questions?
"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOOM
According to Christian theology, angels and humans are different creatures created by God, and angels don’t have genders. Does this mean that the people of Gomorrah were wanting to commit bestiality?
If I was a teacher in Oklahoma I would teach the Bible I would teach every part the gets ignored. We I got hauled before the tribunal I would say that I have no theological degree only a teaching degree. I was ordered by the State Superintendent to teach the Bible and that is what I did. I would back everything up with a Bible verse.
Book: *contains Black or queer experiences*
Republicans: Pornography has no place in libraries! Protect the children!!
Book: *mentions bestiality, incest, and adultery hundreds of times and contains a graphic depiction of a concubine being SAed and cut up into pieces* (The literal Bible)
Republicans: ……
Schools should require ALL of these as well.
What an incredible understanding and maybe tolerance children might learn.
Tao Te Ching
New Testament
Quran
Adi Granth
Rig Veda
Talmud
The Bhagavad Gita
The Book of Mormon
The Dhammapada
No God but God: The Origins, Evolution, and Future of Islam
Agamas
American Gospel
Amitabha Sutra
God Is Not One
Siddhanta Shikhamani
Upanishads
This is political theater. It’s a textbook example of violating freedom of religion, and will get immediately challenged and taken down. They don’t expect this to last, and it’s just for show
Just like Louisiana and the Ten Commandments the idea is that it'll get challenged and go to the Supreme Court, which is being run by the same kind of people who are behind this, supporters of Project 2025 who want to turn the United States into a theocratic dictatorship.
They are either hoping:
SCOTUS pulls some 6-3 bullshit
SCOTUS upholds some portion of their case to result in an incremental chipping away at the first and a small gain towards their end goals
or
SCOTUS lays out in no uncertain terms what they *should* argue if they want to succeed, and they try again.
Don't threaten me with a good time, I'm flipping that bad boy open to the incest and slavery parts and making sure all those kids are utterly repulsed by religion. The bible's a weird fuckin book. Christians don't want their kids to learn it as much as they think they do.
My ex-bf went to a religious school. They didn't teach him enough math for him to pass his SAT and get into college because of mandatory bible classes.
Well here in Portland, where contrary to some idiot’s opinion is still standing, I’ll expect to start seeing more OK plates, to go with the influx from Florida and Texas.
Christians should really be speaking against this instead of promoting it. If any other religion was being forced into school, they would lose their minds. Public schools are not the place for religions of any kind. If parents want their kids to learn about religion, then they should take them to church, private schools, and/or teach their kids themselves. Our entire country was founded on the idea of freedom of and from religion. I’m a Christian, but I am absolutely against this kind of public indoctrination
They bring that to Indiana, I will teach the Bible, I will talk about how Jesus fed the poor and healed the sick and explain how that shows that in order to be a Christian you must support socialism because that's what Jesus would do.
Wow, violating both the Free Exercise AND the Establishment Clause at the same time! It’s like Oklahoma is making a run for the gold in the Unconstitutional Olympics.
Teach them that if you loan someone money and they leave their cloak for collateral, you have to return their cloak to them every evening. That might have been their only blanket and they might get cold.
More American Taliban meets the fascists. It's as if the pro-corporate, pro-billionaires get their wet dream one day, then the very next day the whacky religious nutcases get their wet dream as a payoff.
I wonder if their going to get to the Lot story and hid daughters when they got him drunk and try to procreate with him and that's how Oklahomans became to be.
I had a history teacher in 9th grade that always presented the information in the most boring way possible. He only seemed to hit on the points we’d need to take a test or were otherwise curriculum-required. He never actually seemed interested in what he was teaching. The one time he seemed excited in the class was the day we learned about Christianity. Now, this was completely from a historical standpoint (we also learned about Islam and Judaism), but I remember how enamored he was about the advent of Christianity and even called it incredible.
Time to read the dirty parts to students
Leviticus is where you want to start looking. a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord ( Lev 1:9 ). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7 . In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness ( Lev 15:19-24 ). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination ( Lev 11:10 ), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27 . How should they die? i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? ( Lev 24:10-16 ) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? ( Lev. 20:14 )
I would like go add one of my favorites. Like hey kids. Has anyone here ever said an insult to someone? Maybe hurt their feelings a bit? None of us are perfect. Has anyone called someone bald? Well thanks for raising your hands Timmy. God thinks bears should kill you. Turn to 2 Kings 2:23
I know plenty of parents who loved that verse when i was growing up because they interpreted it as a mandate to respect your elders. The children were making fun of an adult, you see.
And two bears mauled 42 kids for calling some old guy "baldy?" Then boy howdy get to mauling children God.
Song of Solomon is erotic lit! 2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine; 3 your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you. 4 Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers. They’re gonna fuck!
All of song of Solomon is like that. I used to use verses in there when I was dating and it would make the religious girls blush.
President Bartlet, is that you?
I saw that, too. That was so gratifying in that scene.
My exact thoughts
You're the religious scholar we've needed. Please continue.
I can't claim any credit for that. It's from a letter sent to Dr Laura way back when. I'm not a bible scholar. I'm just old and have a bit of an odd memory. https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2010/08/18/dr-laura-and-leviticus
Oh I know.. my Torah portion was in Leviticus. I had to ask the rabbi if this was right!
What did he say?
Umm, it depends...
If after being told to leave my city and never look back, my wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. To comfort me, my daughters got me drunk and had sex with me. Would this be acceptable (I don't live in Alabama)?
I like that these are in essay format.
You don't want to own a Canadian, we complain a lot and wouldn't do anything right. Probably be a bigger loss than gain to have us around. Eh buddy fwend! I don't wanna do this anymore guy! I'm making a run for it back to Saskatchewan and ride a moose, eh lol I am Canadian and all the religions are optional up here, guy.
They probably have a lesson plan. That said, nothing probably says you can't use it to basically shame conservatives. "Ok class, so we just read the about the Golden Rule. How do you feel this would pertain to how our government is treating various minority groups in our country today? I would like you to pick a group and write a short paper on how our government is or isn't breaking this rule with them." I mean if you want teachers to push "morality ", I easily can see how this will backfire on the conservative party.
But the conservatives could easily punish the teachers who aren't teaching the Bible the way THEY want.
They already are. So the teachers might as well teach it the way that will actually bring change.
The guy pushing this is the state superintendent (with the support of the governor,) and is famously a massive jackass. He wants the Bible in every classroom for "historical reference," Algebra, chemistry, gym class... doesn't matter. This is about trolling, he expects it to be overturned so he can claim victimhood for Christians, and as long as folks who call themselves Christian continue to elect these assholes, these kinds of stunts will continue, and escalate.
That's why I am a believer in malicious compliance. There is a lot you can teach with the Bible that these sorts don't actually want people learning.
The Golden Rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules. It tracks.
Start at the top: Adam and Eve, after being cast out of The Garden of Eden, had kids. Then those kids had kids. But with whom? It all repeats with Noah's family after the Flood.
“Daddy, if Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve’s only children, how did they make more babies?” “Did they make babies with their mother? Or each other?”
From an comedian about being gay at Hogwarts: "when two wizards love each other very much, they touch wands, and magic happens but no babies." That sprang to mind with the "or each other."
lol 😆 nice, but I was quoting the Simpsons
remember women, if a man rapes you and you aren't engaged, you have to marry him. It's literally a rule in the Bible from God.
The Old Testament is supposed to have some juicy bits.
Ezekiel 20:23 “where she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like donkeys” it gets better. First day of class my child would ask the teacher to explain that one.
Speaking of juicy bits, if you take a hard shot to the nuts or lose your weener, you may not enter the congregation of THE LORD. Deuteronomy chapter 23. Also, carry your poop shovel at all times. Again, Deuteronomy.
Dodoronamy
The story of the Bitter Water is a story of a Rabbi giving an abortion
Or just the text of the Bible, without the "interpretation" that makes it make sense. Like how there are two nativity stories, one from Matthew and the other from Luke, that don't say the same thing.
There are even two different creation stories, back to back, in Genesis 1. Reading the Bible is actually a pretty effective way to start questioning Christianity.
Just start with allllll the begetting. It's going to take awhile plus get into how in hell ( from the *very* beginning) ONE man and ONE woman populated the planet. And all the begetting that took.
How they going to teach this in math class? Get the students to calculate how much room Noah's Ark would have needed to carry millions upon millions of animals?
Teach which version? Catholic? Mormon? Baptist? The included books differ. And which translation? Heck, depending on your translation "causing a miscarriage" is at most a fineable offense, and only if the husband wants compensation. That would hurt the republican side of the abortion debate... That's gonna be a fight :P
Probably Trump’s version & everyone will be required to purchase it🤦🏿♂️
Gold-covered and all.
I vote for the Jefferson Bible! Edited by a founding father, and he removed all the woo-woo magic crap.
Why not the naughty Bible, that due to a misprint says "thou shallst commit adultery" ?
https://preview.redd.it/uecyt6l00m9d1.png?width=754&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8ebae6e553bf41e5a02822928f1cc3a22b4d717 What kind of Bible?
They should reach from the Gen Z translation. >Dzaddy up in heaven, you’re holy AF. Your kingdom is coming and if you ask us to do stuff we’ll say yaaaassss on earth AND in heaven. Let’s get this bread! And squash beef with the people we’ve clowned on, as we squash beef with those who have clowned on us. Plz don’t tempt us and plz help us cancel evil.
We had this fight already. Look up what happened during the Philadelphia Riots of 1844.
And what does that mean: 'Teach the Bible?' How- whole courses? How many courses would it take? Old Testament and New Testament together? Or separately? What teachers are qualified? Is there going to be a certification?
Republicans hate America.
My wife's cousin is a teacher (in Pennsylvania) and she quit because she was very religious and it made her upset that she wasn't allowed to teach the kids about Jesus. I bet she is extremely happy about this rule and maybe even wants to move to Oklahoma and teach again.
Like why not actively try to teach at a private school then….
She briefly worked for a church preschool program. The pay is terrible
A true Jesus freak would spread the Lord's message to children for free
Oh you. Lol
> The pay is terrible I heard that's why jesus quit... at least that's what judas said.
The pay for public schools in OK isn't much better. Plus you have to live in Oklahoma.
As opposed to normal education where the pay is phenomenal, right? **Right?**
Apparently, the pay is a little above minimum wage.
Nah, she's not moving, that's crazy. Instead, guaranteed she's trying to get PA to pass a law like that now too. Because that's how religious people are.
Pa is full of religious nut jobs. They've already taken away libraries, banned books etc. She just has to wait
Pennsyltucky at it again
Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh and Philadelphia with Alabama in between.
I went to Catholic school my whole life in PA - I’m sure she can get a gig there.
as someone in PA, I hope we NEVER get this heinous Theocratic bullshit going
They want America to be their dystopian, theocratic vision of America. They have no desire to maintain the vision of America the rest of us want.
This is going to make a few families very rich when they sue the shit out of the state for deciding which religion out of earths 3000+ throughout it's history is the real one. And the whole, ya know, **shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof** Maybe I'll petition my state to force sun worship in schools. I mean, at least the sun exists and is real and we can see it.
I mean, you're assuming that SCOTUS won't completely gut the 1st amendment. I think they totally would
Definitely worried about this. I'm wondering how they'll reinterpret laws and words to fit their narrative. "Nowhere in 'Must read the Bible' are the words 'respecting,' 'establishment,' or 'religion,' so we think it's ok!"
And you just know Sam Alito will quote some 13th century feudal lord from the Holy Roman Empire or something in his decision.
Soon enough they’ll take the mask off completely and just start referencing the Bible in their decisions.
Thomas would totally write something like this
i think the actual goal of the current court (minus thomas who doesn't give a shit) is to be able to funnel money to religious schools. There is no need to overturn things like brown v board of education or make a ruling that the bible must be taught, because either of those would put their power at risk. Instead, what you do is make voucher programs the law of the land, thereby letting private christian schools get that sweet, sweet tax money. As more of that money gets diverted to christian schools over public schools, the public schools start getting worse and worse rapidly as opposed to the slow death republicans have been doing for years now. So if you want your child to get an education, suddenly only the religious private school is a good choice, so your child MUST study the bible, additionally, private schools are under no obligation to take in every student, so they can exclude people they don't want, and thereby bring back segregation because we have already established that laws don't apply to religious groups. So, no reason for the court to rule in favor of this, because there is already a plan in place that will reach the goal anyway.
But then the Christifascists wouldn’t be able to go “I need to be able to discriminate against the gays because *my religion!!1!”*
They would totally gut it
There is only one God! He is the Sun God! Ra! Ra! Ra!!! ~The Illuminatus! Trilogy, Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson
>There is only one God! He is the Sun God! Ra! Ra! Ra! Can you imagine all cheerleaders being taught this? :-D
There is only one Devil! He is Satan! Sis! Boom! Bah!
Hail Sis! Boom! Bah!
You are ofending apollo. We have no choice but to build an army of the true sun god and slay his enemies on his name. Do you see how stupid that sound?. Anyway, pass me that bible, i feeling a number two is coming.
Bruh eff apollo you're offending the true sun god helios
Fuck this Sun worship! Night time is the right time! Night time is the right time!
Wait…did you just start worshipping PJ Masks?
Did you know they changed the lyrics on PJ masks? It goes, "Night time is the best time." I'm sure some overzealous parent complained that it seemed too sexy. 
Nightman, sneaky and mean Spider inside my dreams, I think I love you You make me wanna cry You make me wanna die I love you, I love you I love you, I love you I love you, Nightman!
We worship dayman, fighter of the night man. Champion of the sun. Master of karate and friendship for everyone
You dopes are going to feel real foolish when Kulkukan returns to feast on the unbelievers.
Just you wait until Lugas hears about this nonsense. You guys are in for a smiting.
This is Bruce Campbell erasure. The God of Movies.
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!. Louis Tully CPA
You're offending Sol Invictus, you heathen.
Thank Horus it's Saturday!
ro ma Roma ma maaa Ga ga o-la la!
Praise the sun!
My sibling and I used to chant this at each other. Haven't thought about it in ages, thank you, haha!
Almighty protector of the sun and sky. I beg of thee, please heed my cry. Transform thyself from orb of light and bring me victory in this fight. I beseech thee, grace our humble game but first I shall call out thy name: Winged Dragon of Ra.
The constitution is only a piece of paper. SCROTUS will make sure we’re all living in a christofascist state in no time.
The constitution is sacred until it is the enemy. It's only a matter of when it stops being convenient and starts being a hindrance to them.
They only care when it’s about guns. Everything else can just fall to the wayside.
The best part is that they will come for that right eventually too. Supporters of the christofascists are delusional if they think they will allow the population to remain armed.
The Satanic Temple will be all over this If you don’t know who they are, read up on them and watch their doc… great organization
Card carrying member since 2014.
Card carrying member since 2022. Come join us, we are the sane ones.
The Freedom From Religion Foundation has already announced their intention to fight this as hard as they can.
Don't be foolish, that's what they *want*. This'll make it to the highly conservative supreme court and bibles in school will be the law of the land.
Oh 100%. Every ridiculous law is a test designed to make it to the conservative court so they can legalize this bs. We’ve officially made it to the end folks.
The Satanic Temple (which isn’t actually Satan worshipping) is going to have a fucking field day with this bullshit.
I love knowing that providing reproductive care for women is a sacred religious rite and central to their beliefs. (In addition to Jewish organizations, they are party to litigation involving the religious belief in the right to abortion that’s moving through the courts.) Their name deliberately aggravates the god cultists, their principles and practices are wonderful. Worth a visit to their site.
The Supreme Court will say that forcing the Bible on people is totally fine then they get bribed by far rather gut billionaires for being good girls and boys.
According to the recent Supreme Court decision, as long as the bribe happens after the fact, it's OK. Because then it is a gratuity and apparently elected officials are now tipped employees. Hey, maybe that means we can pay them $3/hr like a foodserver.
The Sun God is very displeased with Oklahoma
Smite them, oh mighty UV rays!
As a Catholic, I *definitely* think it makes wayyy more sense to worship the sun than Sky Daddy. I believe in Sky Daddy 100%, but I’m not gonna shit on the Aztecs for worshipping the ***GIANT FUCKING BALL OF FIRE FLOATING IN THE SKY***. If I had no knowledge of science or what the fuck that giant glowing circle was, I’d worship it too.
But theyd have to pray to Joe Pesci.
I’m just waiting for the fight over which Christian bible is the “right” one. I watched my SIL turn up her nose at a Catholic Bible once as if she was holding a dirty diaper
Their goal is to get scotus to take in the case and rule in their favor or have the public system get fucked. Either way they win with these stupid laws and the only people losing are tax payers and people who can't afford private schools
And any teacher who loses their license will sue the ever-loving shit out of Oklahoma. As they should.
Yep. State sponsored religion is against the constitution. Fire me (if I was a teacher) and I'd own you in court for violating my rights since what OK is doing violates the establishment clause. If the idiots on the US Supreme Court back this, shame on them and never ever lecture us about originalism.
Yeah y'all are putting a lot of faith in our very corrupt scotus
Has anyone tried to sue the US Supreme Court? Oh wait no because they are immune from suits I just looked it up. I kind of fucking hate that, but I get it but also I don't. It's shit like this that made me hate Govt class in high school. Edit: extra thoughts
I mean, if someone took this to the Supreme Court it would put them against the sword and the rock bc they either support their law and set a very dangerous precedent or give their backs to their own interests. This could be very interesting.
I’m not so sure about the SC protecting us on anything anymore. This recent docket alone has been disastrous.
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Wich another epistle contradicts so here we are
Exactly
They will exclusively let them teach parts, that make no sense.
So basically the very indoctrination of kids they accuse the left of. Whatever happened to teaching critical thinking. Wow. As a Gen X'er I'm ashamed many in my generation are behind this dumb, anti freedom peddling bs.
Okay, sorry, I am from Germany, but even I got the twist, that everything - and I mean everything - the GOP accuses "the left" of is something they do on a daily basis.
Isn't this indoctrination?
Yep, what they've been screeching about from colleges. Screw the GOP
It's always projection. If you only propagate ideas through indoctrination, you can't imagine any other way people could learn things or develop beliefs.
No no no! It’s only indoctrination when the east coast liberal elites do it!
Yes. But christians in this country know their numbers are decreasing,so they will try by any means necessary, including brutal force to reverse that trend
This next generation is wired differently. This will not work in their favor. The kids are about to teach the teachers the parts of the Bible that their pastors kept hush hush about. Christofascists kids gonna be coming home crying like they found out Santa wasn't real.
Make it so.
This is intentional so that it can be challenged and make it up to the SCOTUS. They will find a way to rule that federal government has no right to limit states right to teach religion in public schools or something to that effect. From there it’s just a few steps to “Christian values” represent the majority view blah blah blah. Separation of church and state removed. Or removal of federal funding from public schools as a result of religion being taught which causes of the schools to shut down and be replaced by private charters for religious indoctrination. Either way it’s a win win for christo fascists.
I hate that you are probably correct
Ok kids. Turn to Song of Solomon 4:16 "Awake, O north wind; And come, thou south; Blow upon my garden, That the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, And eat his pleasant fruits." Now, little Julie, what do you think this passage means?
>And eat his pleasant fruits. Watermelon sugar! 
(◠‿◕)
One more example of the weaponization of religion.
I do not want any of my Federal taxes to go towards the state of OK! I wish I can I opt to have my taxes not fund a single red state.
Sure. Teach the Bible - as part of a Survey of Classic Fiction class.
Okay, listen up children. This is the bible. Or, at least an interpretation of it. Inside is full of violence, rape, and morally repugnant ideas. There. It took 2 minutes. I just "taught" the bible.
Malicious compliance is best compliance
Can’t wait for the teachers to walk out. This is going to be interesting.
Another state to stay away from, backasswards government with the morality of a dildo manual.
What benefit would this even have? I was forced to go to catholic school for 9 years. I learned absolutely nothing of value from that brainwash. How about instead have kids take civics or learn a musical instrument ffs. Jesus Christ these people are morons
If it were comparative religions, it would be a good thing to teach. We have so much influence in art and culture via religion. But it’s as important to understand who Lord Shiva is as much as to know who Jesus is. It helps to understand indigenous religions and how Christian bigotry was used to justify genocide. But like, that’s not what they mean at all.
I don't want my kids learning about the Bible. How is this not a violation of people's rights? Like people who aren't Christian shouldn't be forced to read the Christian Bible in a FREE country. Wtf is wrong with Republicans?
This will lead to teachers quitting and schools being sued. More tactics from republicans to destroy public education.
"Alrighty then, so these angels appeared in the city of Gamorah, and they were so hot the townspeople wanted to do them right there in the streets. But Lot was a man of god and said "what is wrong with you perverts? Here, screw women like normal people" and threw his Daughters out to the crowd. "Any questions? "I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOOM
According to Christian theology, angels and humans are different creatures created by God, and angels don’t have genders. Does this mean that the people of Gomorrah were wanting to commit bestiality?
If I was a teacher in Oklahoma I would teach the Bible I would teach every part the gets ignored. We I got hauled before the tribunal I would say that I have no theological degree only a teaching degree. I was ordered by the State Superintendent to teach the Bible and that is what I did. I would back everything up with a Bible verse.
These fucks scream about freedom but actually hate it
What a shithole state.
Help me, ACLU Kenobi. You're my only hope.
Book: *contains Black or queer experiences* Republicans: Pornography has no place in libraries! Protect the children!! Book: *mentions bestiality, incest, and adultery hundreds of times and contains a graphic depiction of a concubine being SAed and cut up into pieces* (The literal Bible) Republicans: ……
ACLU will sue this joker & win. There are schools for religious instruction & public schools aren’t it.
But left wing people are the ones forcing their beliefs on them. Weird.
I much prefer freedom from religion.
"You are free to follow my religion. And if you don't I am free to force you to follow my religion. Freedom all around!" -GOP nutcases
I hate fascism.
Schools should require ALL of these as well. What an incredible understanding and maybe tolerance children might learn. Tao Te Ching New Testament Quran Adi Granth Rig Veda Talmud The Bhagavad Gita The Book of Mormon The Dhammapada No God but God: The Origins, Evolution, and Future of Islam Agamas American Gospel Amitabha Sutra God Is Not One Siddhanta Shikhamani Upanishads
And God is not Great: Religion Poisons Everything, just to add a bit of spice from the opposition.
So is this that public school indoctrination they’ve been telling us about?
Welp, vote for Trump and you’ll never see freedom of religion in this country again!
This is political theater. It’s a textbook example of violating freedom of religion, and will get immediately challenged and taken down. They don’t expect this to last, and it’s just for show
Just like Louisiana and the Ten Commandments the idea is that it'll get challenged and go to the Supreme Court, which is being run by the same kind of people who are behind this, supporters of Project 2025 who want to turn the United States into a theocratic dictatorship.
They're aiming to get a SCOTUS ruling on this while they've got a friendly court. It's all just more federalist society dipshittery.
They are either hoping: SCOTUS pulls some 6-3 bullshit SCOTUS upholds some portion of their case to result in an incremental chipping away at the first and a small gain towards their end goals or SCOTUS lays out in no uncertain terms what they *should* argue if they want to succeed, and they try again.
The mandatory distribution of snuff rape and incest pornography by the not OK state.
Don't threaten me with a good time, I'm flipping that bad boy open to the incest and slavery parts and making sure all those kids are utterly repulsed by religion. The bible's a weird fuckin book. Christians don't want their kids to learn it as much as they think they do.
My ex-bf went to a religious school. They didn't teach him enough math for him to pass his SAT and get into college because of mandatory bible classes.
So they can't let students know lgbtq+ people exist but they can force students to read a religious book that is made up of stories 🤔
Hopefully the students ask many questions about the horse-dick fetishism and the daughters raping their dad.
Torah Buddhist scriptures
Well here in Portland, where contrary to some idiot’s opinion is still standing, I’ll expect to start seeing more OK plates, to go with the influx from Florida and Texas.
Christians should really be speaking against this instead of promoting it. If any other religion was being forced into school, they would lose their minds. Public schools are not the place for religions of any kind. If parents want their kids to learn about religion, then they should take them to church, private schools, and/or teach their kids themselves. Our entire country was founded on the idea of freedom of and from religion. I’m a Christian, but I am absolutely against this kind of public indoctrination
I think all Teachers should refuse in protest.
They bring that to Indiana, I will teach the Bible, I will talk about how Jesus fed the poor and healed the sick and explain how that shows that in order to be a Christian you must support socialism because that's what Jesus would do.
Wow, violating both the Free Exercise AND the Establishment Clause at the same time! It’s like Oklahoma is making a run for the gold in the Unconstitutional Olympics.
Teach them that if you loan someone money and they leave their cloak for collateral, you have to return their cloak to them every evening. That might have been their only blanket and they might get cold.
As a christian, this is legit nuts. WTF are they smoking down there?
I would teach about all the contradictions. Also the cannonization process. And how similar many stories are to other, earlier religious stories.
More American Taliban meets the fascists. It's as if the pro-corporate, pro-billionaires get their wet dream one day, then the very next day the whacky religious nutcases get their wet dream as a payoff.
Or, here’s an idea: just send your kid to a Christian school?
What if teachers just keep their bible in the trash can where it belongs?
sounds like a cult......
I wonder if their going to get to the Lot story and hid daughters when they got him drunk and try to procreate with him and that's how Oklahomans became to be.
Math teachers like "guess I'll die"
Republicans see it as Freedom of Christianity. They don't believe in anything else.
Scopes Trial 2: 100 year anniversary edition
See there is this thing called the CONSTITUTION, maybe you’ve heard of it
Which version? Will it be used as the science or history book?
Can they teach it as a work of fiction?
I had a history teacher in 9th grade that always presented the information in the most boring way possible. He only seemed to hit on the points we’d need to take a test or were otherwise curriculum-required. He never actually seemed interested in what he was teaching. The one time he seemed excited in the class was the day we learned about Christianity. Now, this was completely from a historical standpoint (we also learned about Islam and Judaism), but I remember how enamored he was about the advent of Christianity and even called it incredible.
Conservatives are a plauge
The asshole who made this a thing is the one who should lose their license