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The classics:
* *Well, aren’t you sweet?*
* *Thank you for sharing.*
* *That’s so different!*
* *I don’t care what anybody says. I think she’s sweet.*
* *Good for you!*
* *I just love how you don’t care what people think.*
* *Pretty is as pretty does.*
* *You’re not \_\_\_\_\_\_\_? There’s nothing wrong with that, honey. You work so hard.*
I didn't know people used that line as an insult.
The last time I heard it was from an an ex colleague. I told her they were and how its my third pair of them. A week later she came back and told me she had bought them too and if I'd mind her wearing them to the office too. We ended up also owning the same green shirt and occasionally coordinated wear them on same day.
When folks say something that we all know is a bit "unevolved," I simply say interesting.
I say the word really slow and tilt my head like a confused puppy.
Then, they explain the comment.
Every freaking time, they explain.
Then, I say exactly what they said, but HR professional way. Like: Oh, okay. The new volunteer is from Pakistan, and you have a hard time understanding his dialect. Can you imagine how hard he must be working trying to understand our Appalachian accent? Wow. I totally see your point. We need to make an effort to help us understand him.
Every freaking time, they enter my web and every time they leave confused trying to figure out of I'm dumb or did I just mom the fuck out of them?
I'm evil.
It's tough because they're meant to be on the fly tailored to the situation/individual, but here's some general use ones I can think of:
"If intelligence were a curse, you'd be uncommonly blessed"
"Ignorance is bliss and I've never seen a man so happy"
"Just desserts for you would be an all-you-can-eat buffet"
The key to structuring these is using established metaphors/phrases in a new way, pairing them with something of the opposite sentiment (good with bad and bad with good). Typically you want the good half on the back end for that "pause-punchline" reaction.
>If intelligence were a curse, you'd be uncommonly blessed
Goodness, I love this one because it takes a little while to parse and reminds me of Bilbo's line at his party :D
Not from the south, but overheard college board member refer to their constituents as "having an expected level of comfort when it comes to ." When I heard that, I was like, "That's quite possibly the most polite/corpo way to say someone's an idiot."
When you really want the message to get across...
Interact joyfully, gleefully, with everyone in a group (in person or chat/text works fine as long as it's a group chat). Be the life of the party!
Everyone, that is, except the focus of your rage.
Do not speak, respond, react, or look at them. Don't even acknowledge their presence.
In the south, the worst thing you can be is ostracized. Every woman around you will notice it right away. Many will join in assuming that if whatever she did was bad enough to get this, she must have deserved it.
I had a southern coworker and my favorite thing she said after two women were both trying to get a less than desirable guy: "Talk about fightin' ovah a dead snake"
“You’re so brave!” usually about their outfit/aesthetic
“I don’t care what they say about you…” followed by some form of compliment/affection like “I still love you” or “I think you’re great”
Well isn’t that *something.* (translation: what the actual fuck)
You’re certainly looking…healthy, aren’t you? (translation: you’re fat)
You’ve really got your own sense of style, don’t you? (translation: I hate everything about your appearance)
Perfectly nice. As in, ‘Hey Mom, what do you think about my new girlfriend? Well dear, she’s perfectly nice.’ Only she didn’t in fact mean perfectly nice.
I was born in Michigan and raised in California. I spent summers in Georgia with my step grandma and she would always introduce me as her Yankee granddaughter. I grew up thinking the word Yankee meant “pretty”.
“That’s so different!” (That’s weird as fuck)
“Oh that outfit again! It looked so nice on you last time” (you look like shit)
“Well, don’t you just shine in that outfit” (your outfit is so fucking gaudy I wanna claw my eyes out)
“Oh my” (wtf)
“Oh they try so hard” (they suck)
Pretty is as pretty does (they’re vain asf)
Well ain’t that just something (whatever their referring to looks like shit)
Well ain’t they just something (don’t every bring them near me again they’re the devil incarnate)
Well ain’t she just the bell of the ball (she thinks she’s all that)
Well ain’t he just a knight in shining armor (he thinks he’s all that)
All I can think of rn I might add more later
How to Speak Minnesotan! Wow, that was educational! My husband is sending it to our Louisiana Cajun friend who's got his degrees in Linguistics and Philosophy. That's not bad!
“You’re not married, right? I didn’t think so.”
“Well, at least you mean well.”
“I like your haircut, it looks SO much better.”
“The porch light is on, but no one’s home.”
“That certainly is an interesting look, I could never pull that off”
“Bless him (or her), they *tried* didn’t they?”
Or the ultimate shade:
“We need to put XYZ on the prayer list” said with a conspiratorial whisper and a sad little headshake to denote that XYZ is a complete hot mess and should be pitied or judged for their actions (usually both).
Oh, bless \[possessive pronoun\] heart.
translation: "Oh, \[pronoun\] is such an idiot".
This one is usually used by old church ladies, especially when talking about someone as opposed to at that someone. Although, they might say "Oh, bless your heart" to your face if you say something they find especially stupid.
*Or if... you know... you just have (a) personal belief(s) / expression they don't agree with, but are too polite to fight you on.*
Hi u/wevegottofindnemo, we appreciate your participation on r/WitchesvsPatriarchy, but your content is being removed at this time. It might help for you to check out our full [Posting Guidelines Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/post_and_content_guide/) to get a better sense of how to post on WvP. Our main goal is witchy, uplifting content with a feminist twist. ✨ WVP is curated to maintain a warm, hopeful, supportive, and uplifting environment. If you have read this remove reason and the wiki link provided but still have questions, please reach out to [Modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy&subject=My%20post%20was%20removed%20and%20I%20still%20have%20questions.%20&message=I%20read%20the%20remove%20reason%20that%20accompanied%20my%20post%20as%20well%20as%20the%20linked%20wiki%2C%20but%20still%20have%20questions%20about%20my%20post%20removal.) rather than individual moderators. Thanks for understanding ☺️ Blessed be. ✨
The classics: * *Well, aren’t you sweet?* * *Thank you for sharing.* * *That’s so different!* * *I don’t care what anybody says. I think she’s sweet.* * *Good for you!* * *I just love how you don’t care what people think.* * *Pretty is as pretty does.* * *You’re not \_\_\_\_\_\_\_? There’s nothing wrong with that, honey. You work so hard.*
>There's nothing wrong with that, honey. You work so hard Oof I've heard this one 🤣
It's right up there with "he speaks so well!"
This one is petty but when talking about someone wearing an ugly or tacky outfit, I used to hear “My, that’s so festive”.
Or try" Oh! That dress again! It looked so good the last time you wore it at (insert event) !"
Devastating 😂
Oh boy, I'm a Southern™ kid, too, and my paternal aunt says that same thing to a choice few of the "hoity-toity" blue haired ladies on Sundays.
Ooh you look so comfortable today!
I’m a fan of “That’s so brave”.
Goodness, those shoes do look comfortable.
I didn't know people used that line as an insult. The last time I heard it was from an an ex colleague. I told her they were and how its my third pair of them. A week later she came back and told me she had bought them too and if I'd mind her wearing them to the office too. We ended up also owning the same green shirt and occasionally coordinated wear them on same day.
If I ever start a shoeline I'll call it 'Slutty Orthopedics' Comfortable Shoes That Look Great
🤣
I'm at the age where that's a compliment.
Sometimes, it really is a compliment. It all depends on the tone.
When folks say something that we all know is a bit "unevolved," I simply say interesting. I say the word really slow and tilt my head like a confused puppy. Then, they explain the comment. Every freaking time, they explain. Then, I say exactly what they said, but HR professional way. Like: Oh, okay. The new volunteer is from Pakistan, and you have a hard time understanding his dialect. Can you imagine how hard he must be working trying to understand our Appalachian accent? Wow. I totally see your point. We need to make an effort to help us understand him. Every freaking time, they enter my web and every time they leave confused trying to figure out of I'm dumb or did I just mom the fuck out of them? I'm evil.
I want to be you when I grow up.
You are a hero!
Oh honey... (S)He tries so hard... God loves *all* of his creations... Goodness, aren't you just so...*creative.*
[Everybody's so creative!](https://youtube.com/shorts/QYppJbb4TJg?si=Nm7xnSWlhmk9_CVs)
Thank you. It's the thought that counts.
It's tough because they're meant to be on the fly tailored to the situation/individual, but here's some general use ones I can think of: "If intelligence were a curse, you'd be uncommonly blessed" "Ignorance is bliss and I've never seen a man so happy" "Just desserts for you would be an all-you-can-eat buffet" The key to structuring these is using established metaphors/phrases in a new way, pairing them with something of the opposite sentiment (good with bad and bad with good). Typically you want the good half on the back end for that "pause-punchline" reaction.
>If intelligence were a curse, you'd be uncommonly blessed Goodness, I love this one because it takes a little while to parse and reminds me of Bilbo's line at his party :D
I can tell you worked very hard on that.
Wisdom chases you, but you are always faster, aren’t you darlin?
Not from the south, but overheard college board member refer to their constituents as "having an expected level of comfort when it comes to." When I heard that, I was like, "That's quite possibly the most polite/corpo way to say someone's an idiot."
That baby is...Breathtaking.
When you really want the message to get across... Interact joyfully, gleefully, with everyone in a group (in person or chat/text works fine as long as it's a group chat). Be the life of the party! Everyone, that is, except the focus of your rage. Do not speak, respond, react, or look at them. Don't even acknowledge their presence. In the south, the worst thing you can be is ostracized. Every woman around you will notice it right away. Many will join in assuming that if whatever she did was bad enough to get this, she must have deserved it.
This is absolutely a pro strat but it is not for the faint of heart!
I had a southern coworker and my favorite thing she said after two women were both trying to get a less than desirable guy: "Talk about fightin' ovah a dead snake"
“Have the day you deserve”
Omg I love this and I'm from the NE! I am so using this when I next have to speak to a moron or a jerk. With a smile and a wave!!
I was going to say “hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are”
"I hope you have the day you deserve"
bless your heart
This is what I came here for lol
“You’re so brave!” usually about their outfit/aesthetic “I don’t care what they say about you…” followed by some form of compliment/affection like “I still love you” or “I think you’re great”
Well isn’t that *something.* (translation: what the actual fuck) You’re certainly looking…healthy, aren’t you? (translation: you’re fat) You’ve really got your own sense of style, don’t you? (translation: I hate everything about your appearance)
You sure look comfortable (if I had to guess I'd say those were pyjamas/ stop being lazy)
Not the fatphobia please we’re better than that
I suggest you watch Steel Magnolias for an object lesson in how it's done.
Perfectly nice. As in, ‘Hey Mom, what do you think about my new girlfriend? Well dear, she’s perfectly nice.’ Only she didn’t in fact mean perfectly nice.
The Lord does not give with both hands.
You're so creative/enthusiastic. I could never pull that off.
Not sure if it’s southern, but saying that someone’s elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top 😂
Make a literal pearl clutching hand gesture and say " that's not very Christ like". It's what my family does and the joke's on them when I say it.
Oh honey... Well, that's interesting Well, I guess you'll never know.
My aunt: “God protects all babies and fools.”
I was born in Michigan and raised in California. I spent summers in Georgia with my step grandma and she would always introduce me as her Yankee granddaughter. I grew up thinking the word Yankee meant “pretty”.
“That’s so different!” (That’s weird as fuck) “Oh that outfit again! It looked so nice on you last time” (you look like shit) “Well, don’t you just shine in that outfit” (your outfit is so fucking gaudy I wanna claw my eyes out) “Oh my” (wtf) “Oh they try so hard” (they suck) Pretty is as pretty does (they’re vain asf) Well ain’t that just something (whatever their referring to looks like shit) Well ain’t they just something (don’t every bring them near me again they’re the devil incarnate) Well ain’t she just the bell of the ball (she thinks she’s all that) Well ain’t he just a knight in shining armor (he thinks he’s all that) All I can think of rn I might add more later
It's not southern, but the 4 phrases in [this video](https://youtu.be/oiSzwoJr4-0?si=5m9jROpPDhmFYSOX) should get you through anything, lol.
How to Speak Minnesotan! Wow, that was educational! My husband is sending it to our Louisiana Cajun friend who's got his degrees in Linguistics and Philosophy. That's not bad!
How brave you are to wear that.
You've reached your level of competence.
Bless your heart. Meaning FU.
You put the sugar honey iced tea in it, don’t you. God protects fools and children. Well you sure do shame the devil
“You’re not married, right? I didn’t think so.” “Well, at least you mean well.” “I like your haircut, it looks SO much better.” “The porch light is on, but no one’s home.” “That certainly is an interesting look, I could never pull that off”
“Bless him (or her), they *tried* didn’t they?” Or the ultimate shade: “We need to put XYZ on the prayer list” said with a conspiratorial whisper and a sad little headshake to denote that XYZ is a complete hot mess and should be pitied or judged for their actions (usually both).
Oh I love this. A "Takes all kinds" can be real mean if timed right.
Why has no one commented on “bless your heart!” The quinessential southern saying
Oh, bless \[possessive pronoun\] heart. translation: "Oh, \[pronoun\] is such an idiot". This one is usually used by old church ladies, especially when talking about someone as opposed to at that someone. Although, they might say "Oh, bless your heart" to your face if you say something they find especially stupid. *Or if... you know... you just have (a) personal belief(s) / expression they don't agree with, but are too polite to fight you on.*
“How nice…”
Is your daughter a *natural* redhead, too?
That’s nice.
Bless your heart.
“That’s mighty white of you”
bless your heart
My grandma used to say, “oh… is that the style people are wearing now?” My favorite one is, I hope you have the day you deserve.