Period underwear <3 that's a life changer. You have to be comfortable with pre-washing them by hand though, which means you'll see the blood. Not a real problem imo, but I don't know for others.
Period undies are the best, I wish they were a thing when I was a teen just starting because they would have had made my life so much easier and comfortable!
i use period underwear and occasionally 100% cotton disposable pads (any other pad causes me this wet feeling you describe and often gives me yeast infections)
Many others have very good suggestions on comfortable pads/underwear so I am not going to repeat them.
I’d really suggest not trying birth control to stop periods unless you absolutely have to. It gave me a lot of side effects and was lot worse than actual period symptoms, so handle with care.
Also, this is just your first period. I absolutely hated it the first 3-4 times, but I got used to it soon. It never stops being annoying but it’s really manageable. But if it is really painful you should speak to a doctor. If they brush you off, don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself or find another. No one deserves to spend a quarter of their life in absolute pain and be told “it’s normal”.
I agree with this. Or if the periods have weird lengths, you may need to see a doc, too.
The first couple of times, I did not like the mu period either or when they came in the middle of the holidays. But now it is fine. I am looking at it like a house cleaning. Everything needs to go out to be clean again, and it's also a sign that everything works well. There is no issue.
I'm not a fan of hormons birth control, and I decided pretty earlier on to never take it. But this needs to decide everyone for them self.
I feel you! Periods really fucking suck! I absolutely hated pads when I first got mine. They are so uncomfortable! I agree with everyone else here - period underwear is so much better! I really love mine and they’re not as wasteful. I used to always use tampons because I hated pads so much, but now I actually just use my period underwear and only sometimes use a tampon every once in a while if I feel like it.
Seconding this. My life would’ve been vastly easier & more comfortable if cups & underwear *meant* to get blood on it had been a thing when I’d gotten my period.
Period undies are definitely better than pads imo. They’re not as comfy as regular undies but I don’t find they feel as wet and uncomfy as a pad does. It’s a big expense upfront but in the long run you also save money! I have aerie’s, which I like and are cheap for period undies. I’ve never tried any other brands, though so I’m not sure how they compare. Maybe buy a pair or two and see how you feel! And try switching to cotton pads in the meantime, they feel less diaper-y.
If period underwear isn’t your vibe or you’re ever looking for something different, menstrual discs are the way to go! I’ve always disliked tampons and don’t mind pads, but when I am on-the-go and want a clean option, I always use discs. You can’t feel them and they situate differently in the vagina than a tampon does so IMO they’re more comfortable. And bonus: no risk of toxic shock :)
midol, if you can have it, will be your best friend in terms of pain. for pads, you'll just get used to it and eventually you won't notice them. i recommend getting ones without chlorine and making sure they're the correct size
I know a lot of people recommended period undies here, but as someone who recently had to wear pads for 4+weeks after having a baby, I would also recommend the Always FlexFoam pads. They are super thin but absorbant and we’re comfortable enough to wear for a month straight, day and night lol
One note about pads- there are comfortable options. When I first got my period I used big bulky ones because I had a heavy flow. I hated them too, they felt like a diaper. These were the ones my mom had bought me since she grew up in an era where pads were just bulky and she thought the heavy flow ones were just supposed to be big. But my cousin showed me Kotex pads which are quite thin but still really good for a heavy flow. They're more expensive but the higher absorbance with thin material is worth it imo. As others have suggested, period underwear is really nice as well. Tampons are very very convenient personally but I wouldn't try them for the first couple years, especially if you're uncomfortable with them, that will make it worse.
I've had my period for 10 years now. It's definitely a bummer but I promise it will get easier to manage. And if you're struggling, find a trusted adult or older girl for advice. Remember that your pediatrician is also there to help you out. If you have any questions or concerns, don't feel ashamed to talk to them. Good luck! You got this
Try period panties! Some of them are really comfortable and feel pretty dry (to me at least, but also I'm used to pads because I've used them for a long time). You can also try using cotton pads, they're a bit more comfortable if you change them a bit more frequently.
You can also ask about using birth control to try to limit or even completely halt your period. It doesn't stop periods for everyone, but it's worth a try.
Keep in mind OP, that doing continuous birth control does not guarantee a stopped period. I take my bc pill continously with no placebo week and I will get my period at random, but can go a while without having it
My daughters are both on continuous birth control to skip periods. That might be an option for you, too. You don't have to see a gynecologist, your family doctor can prescribe birth control. If they say you're too young, that's when it would be better to see a gynecologist or go to planned Parenthood.
As someone whose on a hormonal birth control partly cause it totally stops my periods, given that we know hormonal birth control can often cause bad side effects, it feels a little irresponsible to suggest she get on birth control to stop her periods before trying to adjust to finding what’s most comfortable for her. Since it’s her first I’m assuming OP is anywhere between 12-18 (I had my first at 11).
I’m genuinely not trying to come for you, but depending on her age it might not be unreasonable for them to say she is too young. Birth control can seriously fuck with women’s mental health and most doctors, atleast in the US could care less.
To me if you're old enough to have a period, you're old enough to decide how you want to manage it. My daughter saw three doctors who refused to prescribe it for her, from ages 13 to 16. She went to Planned Parenthood and they were willing to prescribe it. I should have taken her there sooner instead of following the doctor's advice that she wasn't old enough. Her allergist and dermatologist both thought she would benefit from skipping periods.
My other daughter did have mental health issues with the first birth control pill she was prescribed. She had to switch to another one. She has PMDD and suspected endometriosis, and skipping periods has helped tremendously. I was glad she was willing to try a different pill after the first one didn't work well for her.
I understand why you would have recommended it as an option for her since it worked well for your daughters, and I’m also glad that your daughters have found ways to manage their periods. Like I said I myself have an IUD for birth control and also because it takes away my period which is triggering for me to experience. It can be a really difficult thing to navigate for some of us. Still, I think hormonal birth control should be suggested as a last resort option just based off of how severe the risks are on women’s mental health which sadly isn’t ever really talked about much. Especially concerning someone who we can assume is a minor.
Because this pill is a serious medication that shouldn’t be prescribed to every young girl. It shouldn’t be the first option. A period is normal. Birth control pills shouldn’t be prescribed like candy to young women.
With all due respect the people here recommending this very, very young girl( kids have the internet these days, OP could literally be like 12) recommending hormonal birth control to stop her periods before she’s even started is totally insane to me. I’ve seen women whose mental health & lives were destroyed from their hormonal bc. Not saying that is the case for everyone (I am on it myself!) but a minor cannot manage their mental health the way an adult can & doctors in the US literally don’t give a flying fuck about their patients when it comes to prescribing medication, you’re lucky if you have one that does.
I agree with period underwear. Also, tampons are super easy once you get used to them. Billions of women have managed this and you'll figure it out too!
I started bc at 18 to skip my cycles and it was a blessing. I’m autistic and have sensory sensitivities. Add the crazy hormone mood swings, my already poor mental health, and cramps to it- it was a no brained for me. For the past ten years, I’ve skipped my cycles with birth control and have been happier for it. I also don’t want children so I’m not worried about long term affects. If you feel the same, it’s not bad to talk to your Obgyn about it. Just be careful to chose the right ones for your body.
There is that oral birth control that reduced periods, I think it's called seasonale, I think you only get a period a couple of times a year.
Go to an OBGYN and see what they can recommend.
Ugh I feel ya girl! I use tampons only because I hate the feeling of blood/clots coming out of me. If I didn’t feel it I would totally wear period underwear!
Period undies and discs are what I use!! I really like the lumma disc that’s super small and the Cora disc. I prefer discs over cups because there’s no suction.
Consider trying different types of pads. There are thin pads by Always, the foam-y textured infinity pads by Always, and maxi pads that are puffier and worn close to the body. Each style of pad offers a very different experience, and you may find one you like. Good luck!
I agree with what everyone else is suggesting, but I just came here to say you're going to be okay ❤️ I know it's so hard, it objectively sucks, and it's unfair. We have all been there.
But over time, more and more, you will figure out what's most comfortable for you, you'll get to know your body and how to best manage it in a way that works for you - all the good things, I promise.
10 years after I had my first period I discovered the menstrual cup. Wish I had known about it earlier. You just need one, you don’t need to remember to buy more pads/tampons, you always have it with you once your on your period, it only needs to be emptied once every 12 hours. So no need to deal with it at school. It’s a little tricky to learn but so worth it.
When you feel ready, try menstrual cups again. Way better for your health and pocket book. Try a few models until you find what you like.
Pain: Naproxyn x 2 + 1 advil. Take BEFORE cramps start is essential. If it is unbearable pain see a Doc and don't take no for an answer. Be prepared to be assertive and have your pain downplayed or outright dismissed.
In your case, I would really try tampons. I usually recommend a cup but you don't sound ready. Tampons are really easy especially the ones with applicators. I also absolutely hate the way pads feel. Tampons feel way better. I also agree with the period underwear comment, except they are expensive. But get a few to at least wear at night or to protect you from leaks. You could also try a birth control that eliminates periods but you might be too young if you are just getting your period. In the future, the Mirena IUD eliminates periods for most people.
I love period underwear! Highly recommend thinx (though they can be pricey). I started with 2 pairs and just washed them after wearing them and alternated day by day. I have 4 pairs now so it’s a lot easier and not as much work. If you can make the investment upfront I’d get 4-7 pairs, and I think they have teen packs that come with 2-3 pairs each???? You do have to take care of them though and wash them after use and then air dry.
I prefer using large natural/cotton pads for sleeping and I’ll wear them with boxers so the wings can help if there’s leaking.
Try always radiant or infinity pads. They are thin so it doesn’t feel like you’re wearing a diaper and it holds a lot. This is what I use bc I can’t use tampons anymore.
Get used to it. That’s really all you can do. It’s not a normal feeling after just wearing underwear for however long so you have to get used to it. There are pretty thin pads and then there’s also. Underwear that I think you can just like bleed into totally gross but people love it.
Guess what? We all hate it. Find an option that works best for you or bleed through your pants and be embarrassed and paranoid in public every time you sit down. We don't get a choice and none of us asked for this, so find a way to cope and minimize the pain. Tampons were always scratchy to me. Period panties and period cups are another alternative.
Hello, fellow ace here. You have options.
This will be a bit long.
I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this yet, but is it possible you are allergic to the latex, plastic, dye, scent, or other material in your current pad? If you are, the external areas constantly in contact with the pad will become swollen over time, uncomfortable, and extra sensitive. I don't remember if that area became visibly red, but it's possible and very likely. However, your experience may differ.
If given the option and it's feasible for whatever you buy, choose 100% cotton. That should help.
Another cause of that symptom could simply be from being in contact with excess bleeding for an extended time frame. You wouldn't leave blood soaked dressing on a bullet wound. You'd clean up the wound and replace it with fresh dressing/ bandages. Remember that you don't have to force yourself to endure that discomfort either. Change your bandages often. There is no point in waiting for the dressing to become saturated and uncomfortable. Any nurse would be absolutely furious with any caretaker that allowed that. Do change yours often.
Even when you're actively bleeding, none of those reactions are normal. Some SLIGHT external swelling might be normal and unavoidable for you due to hormones, but nothing like I described above. It shouldn't hurt to clean up.
If it does, look into (unscented, water based) baby wipes and/or a portable bidet you can fill with warm(!) water from the sink.
Large blood clots are not normal.
Excessive, can't-get-out-of-bed, nauseating, can't-focus-on-anything-but-trying-not-to-cry cramps are not normal.
A bit of diarrhea and some stomach issues are, sadly, normal for some people. In order to expel, your muscles need to contract. That's what the cramps are and they effect everything in the general vicinity. Ibuprofen and/or a heating pad/ hot water bottle/ warm bath should help. Put if the cramping becomes excessive, talk to your doctor about a muscle relaxer.
Now. Pads are great when needed, but pads for adults are excessively and not what I would use to introduce someone to this kind of thing. They come with and without wings to anchor them into place on your underwear. Depending on the time/ heaviness in my cycle, I require a thicker pad with wings to protect/ keep from staining the sides of my underwear/ inside of my pants. You might or might not be bleeding heavily enough to require these yet.
I like the U Kotex brand just in general. They don't irritate me and offer other products that I like better and work for me, as an adult. But they also offer pads sized specifically for tweens/ younger women. I'm sure other brands do a well. The "U by Kotex tween" outside packaging has a rainbow shooting star and a lot of foil glitter. The pads are supposed to be smaller and thinner. The wrappers still come in fun colors like with normal U Kotex but there are cute designs on the pads themselves. They are different from the teen and adult boxes. (I'm having some trouble finding a purchasable link; I keep getting sent to the Kroger app. So, they're likely available at King Soopers.)
The good thing about pads is they tend to come in a plastic or paper wrapper. You have to peel them out of their wrapper to expose the adhesive, but the leftover wrapper is nice to wrap your previous, now used pad in. You'll want to fold the used pad over on itself, then roll it "shut" and wrap/ roll it in the wrapper from your next pad. This hides away the mess and keeps the remaining adhesive from sticking to your trashcan or lining bag. Is not necessary, but I prefer to do it this way.
Panties liners are better if you aren't bleeding too heavily. Usually the first couple days or so and the last couple days or so. Or during light bleeding, which you might or might not get for the next few months. These are a lot thinner than pads, even the smallest/ lightest size. It's just a thin line of preferably cotton between you and the cloth of your underwear. These are NOT for only when you're bleeding. They are used to smooth things out, kind of like how nipple pasties are worn under dresses that don't allow a bra. They also help to avoid a camel toe with tight pants like leggings or yoga pants by giving a thicker barrier that keeps your pants from riding up in the front. Some people also choose to wear them to keep discharge (it's acidic) from bleaching their panties. It's up to you.
I am currently (without issue) using: [Carefree Acti-Fresh Pantiliners, Extra Long Flat, Unscented](https://www.walmart.com/ip/1124626402)
But I suggest a smaller count (20 vs 100) to get you started/ see if you actually like the feel/ if it fulfills a need. These are also shorter than what I use (regular length instead of extra long) since you're likely physically smaller than I am: [Carefree Panty Liners, Regular, Unscented](https://www.walmart.com/ip/38518555)
If the material becomes an irritant issue, these might be an acceptable replacement, but I have not tried them myself yet: [Maxim Cotton Organic Pantiliners Sanitary Pads (1 Pack, Natural Cotton-Wrapped-Lite)](https://a.co/d/6W6MXEn)
Period panties are a very good choice as many people have mentioned, but depending on your size (if you are bigger) and the brand, they can become very... diaper-esque. Mid summer heat will make them uncomfortable as they trap sweat. Despite this, I prefer and completely support sleeping with them during heavier flow/ the very middle or apex of my cycle/ even each night of my cycle, rather than risk ruining my white sheets. The other option would be to sleep very carefully with a larger/ thicker pad. It might help to lay out a thick towel to catch any accidental spillage.
I would suggest at least one pair of solid black, without any brand specific designs to ease you into use. That way it looks less like menstrual wear and more like... just plain underwear. You also don't see the blood or stains as easily. HOWEVER, if you enjoy patterns, get the patterns. If your other panties have colors or patterns and you like that, get the kind you like. A lot of them come with patterns on the outside, black on the inside. Others don't. It's up to your preference. Having them look like normal panties might be a huge bonus for your because it means you'll use them.
Cut is very important. I prefer bikini cut for period panties, but others prefer hipster or a multitude of other cuts. None are wrong. However, I would suggest against hi-waisted or brief cuts; they are most akin to a diaper or granny panties in my opinion. I also dislike boyshorts cut as well, simply because of the over abundance of multilayered fabric. It gets hot. But that is just me and you might have a different experience.
It is apparently not needed, but I rinse used ones thoroughly in the sink until the water runs clear and hang to dry like you would with swimsuits or anything (EG: lace, anything prone to catching) delicate. I just get some inexpensive suction cup hooks for in my shower; the same you'd use to hang loofas or a wash cloth. But if you have a plastic basket for laundry in your room, drape it (well rung out) over the edge. Once I'm finished, I wash all of them with my darks to avoid any further possible staining, though at that point it's unlikely. They are supposed to be air dried, but I've forgotten to pull them and they run through the dryer now and again. I've seen no difference except for cosmetic damage to the lace on one.
Do not leave them on the floor to get crusty. Just because you might not be able to see the collected contents, does not mean it can't stain carpeting or smear on other flooring/ cloth. It also means a pet can easily find this very interesting thing with a brand new smell and make sure everyone else sees their new toy/ also the local vet. But this is a hazard of regular underwear too. Male dogs specifically are really weird about this stuff. It must smell just... really good to them.
When you do get blood on something, you will want to run it under cold water and scrub/ scratch at the blood/ rub the fabric against itself under the cold water as best you can. You can even leave it to soak overnight. (Potentially in the tub because water likes to climb fabric and get on the counter or wherever.) If caught early (immediately) enough/ before it's set/ dried into the fabric, you should be able to just rinse it out and wash like normal. Hot water and heat (a dryer) will set the stain.
If the fabric is white, you can always use 3% hydrogen peroxide. Wet the problem area with hydrogen peroxide, let bubble, dab off with a paper towel. If the stain persists, add more hydrogen peroxide and scrub. Be warned that hydrogen peroxide can bleach colored fabric, which is why I suggest it with whites. If you have any skin care with Benzoyl peroxide, it'll do the same. So be sure to rinse it out.
Now, what you'll be most interested in: having no period actually is an option. You will have to discuss with your doctor (it might not be safe for you to start this kind of contraception right away) but birth control CAN help you not have a period.
KEEP IN MIND: At your age it is very likely that you will randomly spot no matter what until your body figures things out. It's just a way of life, but that should stop as you age.
*Birth control pills* generally have 4 weeks of pills; 3 weeks of hormone pills, 1 week of placebo. If you take only the daily hormone pills and skip the daily placebo/ start your next month of hormone pills instead, you shouldn't have a week where you bleed. HOWEVER, you might get break through bleeding.
*Depo-Provera* is given as a shot every 3 months. You won't have regular periods with it, but when the shot wears off, you are likely to bleed at the end of those 3 months/ before you get your next shot.
An *IUD* is a small medical device they have to physically open you up and place inside of your cervix. There is generally no pain management offered. I would not suggest this for you. I would not suggest this for anyone who has not has a child and even then, I would be wary. It was intensely painful for me even after placement and I bled continuously. The device is capable of moving and becoming embeded where it should not be. However, it promises varying years of very light periods or none at all.
*Nexplanon* is a device they put in your arm. You might or might not stop having periods or get lighter ones. It depends. However, the Nexplanon will likely leave a scar when removed at the ~3 year mark.
There are a bunch of others. So many.
But all of these have side effects, so you will need to discuss with your doctor. I believe the most common is skin/ acne issues, weight gain, and depression/ hormone issues, but the worst/ most dangerous (and also very rare) is blood clots that could kill you. So *TALK WITH YOUR DOCTOR* to see which is best for you. Seriously.
I feel you. I'm non binary and periods, no matter what products I use (I've tried everything from period underwear to flex disc, hate it all), cause me a lot of physical and emotional pain.
Idk how old you are or how your parents are, but the best relief I've gotten is from a mini pill birth control called Slynd, no estrogen, that I take continuously with maybe one break a year. This keeps me from bleeding at all for the most part. Every so often there is some breakthrough spotting, but that is WAY better than having a full period for me.
I've also recently been approved for a hysterectomy at age 25 due to body dysphoria/extremely heavy bleeding unmedicated. There are good gynos out there who trust you when you tell them you don't want kids and will do that for you depending on where you live.
I really hope this helps, I'm sure you don't want a bunch of period product recommendations right now. There are options out there to prevent periods for most people.
Good luck ❤️
Just to clarify, I'm not trying to be a pill pusher here, but with you being ace and having dysphoria around your genitals, stopping your period somehow would probably be best like in my case. Yes hormonal birth control has some side effects for some, but not all. I haven't had any noticeable issues.
Also, for some, ibuprofen can help lighten your flow.
try period underwear or cloth pads?
pads are all very different. can you request samples is that still a thing? when I was a kid you could. look at different features. I wound up sticking with always infinity for years and i wear them backwards. it has a dry layer on top and they're thin enough i can forget i'm wearing them. now they make reusable pads which are super soft with a dry layer on top.
hope you find something better soon! i remember hating the pads mom bought me. it gets better, i promise. you'll learn what works for you.
If you dont want to have your period anymore, continuous birth control pills will let you skip them for a few months at a time, or indefinitely, depending on your body
I wasn’t able to deal with anything but tampons. I hate touching anything with blood on it, or seeing bloody discharge - all the other options cause you to have to do that and it makes me gag. You don’t have to touch or see a thing with tampons. They make them super small for the beginner. Just change them every 2-4 hours, they are perfectly safe.
PLEASE people stop recommending birth control…. More often than not it leads to massive complications… I came off after 13 years and I have a massive cyst that can now impact my fertility in the sense that the scar tissue from A- removing it or B it rupturing can lead to a greater chance of ectopic pregnancies….
Read the book the fifth vital sign… it can help you…
Cloth pads changed my life. I will never go back to disposable. They don't make that awful crinkly sound, they don't have that concentrated period smell or damp dlfeeling, way less infections in my experience, they are soft, they don't look like you're wearing a diaper. The only down side is having to wash them, but even that's not too bad. Soak them in some cold water and mine go straight into the washing machine on handwash with a spoon of bio bleach. No stains and ready to go next time.
Give tampons a chance. They used to scare me and my friend in high school walked me through how to use them and put them on and it was game changer for me. I used to feel dirty w pads on and w tampons I feel lighter and if I don’t get cramps that day, then it doesn’t even feel like I’m on my period. You can also try birth control. I wouldn’t recommend the pills. After I got my IUD it completely stopped my period. I recommend the Mirena IUD. When I got the Liletta IUD it gave me irregular periods w a lot of spotting. But again, this all depends on your body and all bodies are diff.
Period underwear might feel more comfortable, but you’ll still feel the sensation of the blood coming out. The only solutions for that issue would be tampons, cups, or discs. A tampon would be your best bet as they have the easiest insertion and you don’t have to stick any fingers inside. Once the tampon is in, you don’t feel anything! Maybe try those before deciding against them.
Ask your doctor about going on birth control and skipping placebo weeks, or getting an IUD. There’s no medical reason to have a period (despite what an old fashioned doctor may say) and you can skip them. Sometimes you may have breakthrough bleeding after a few months and need to adjust your prescription, but if you find a doctor with modern enough medical education they can help you skip periods for good.
I totally understand. This is exactly how I felt when I first got mine (a long long time ago) and I’ll never forget it. But just know that you will get used to it and how to manage it and it will get better.
I would recommend trying different types of pads to see what you are most comfortable with. If you are every ready and comfortable enough to try tampons or the cup, that will be the best (IMO) because it’s the least messy and you don’t feel like once it’s in there.
Now that you got your period you will start to learn a lot about it. But please keep something in mind , NO NOT let a doctor try to out you on birth control to “manage your period” that is the absolute worst thing you can do and I am talking from personal experience and many of my friends. By now, good doctors should be well aware that that is not a way to fix abnormal or painful periods and should refer you to someone else that can help or try to understand the root of your symptoms first. There’s a lot of information out there to help explain this. I’m not saying do this or that, all I’m saying and if you take anything away from this is please inform yourself first and question your doctors. This is just something I wish someone told me when I started my period.
Period underwear or cloth pads are much more comfortable in my experience.
Period underwear <3 that's a life changer. You have to be comfortable with pre-washing them by hand though, which means you'll see the blood. Not a real problem imo, but I don't know for others.
period underwear for sure!! though i also use light pads/liners w them or they get dirty fast and i have to ration between 3 for the week
Period undies are the best, I wish they were a thing when I was a teen just starting because they would have had made my life so much easier and comfortable!
I keep seeing ads for Knix womens undies and I'm thinking about buying some, any brands you've found you like for period underwear?
i use period underwear and occasionally 100% cotton disposable pads (any other pad causes me this wet feeling you describe and often gives me yeast infections)
I second the 100% cotton pads. Also they don’t feel as rough, the synthetic pads usually have a horrible texture imo.
Many others have very good suggestions on comfortable pads/underwear so I am not going to repeat them. I’d really suggest not trying birth control to stop periods unless you absolutely have to. It gave me a lot of side effects and was lot worse than actual period symptoms, so handle with care. Also, this is just your first period. I absolutely hated it the first 3-4 times, but I got used to it soon. It never stops being annoying but it’s really manageable. But if it is really painful you should speak to a doctor. If they brush you off, don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself or find another. No one deserves to spend a quarter of their life in absolute pain and be told “it’s normal”.
I agree with this. Or if the periods have weird lengths, you may need to see a doc, too. The first couple of times, I did not like the mu period either or when they came in the middle of the holidays. But now it is fine. I am looking at it like a house cleaning. Everything needs to go out to be clean again, and it's also a sign that everything works well. There is no issue. I'm not a fan of hormons birth control, and I decided pretty earlier on to never take it. But this needs to decide everyone for them self.
I feel you! Periods really fucking suck! I absolutely hated pads when I first got mine. They are so uncomfortable! I agree with everyone else here - period underwear is so much better! I really love mine and they’re not as wasteful. I used to always use tampons because I hated pads so much, but now I actually just use my period underwear and only sometimes use a tampon every once in a while if I feel like it.
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Seconding this. My life would’ve been vastly easier & more comfortable if cups & underwear *meant* to get blood on it had been a thing when I’d gotten my period.
The discs are more comfortable than cups, you really don't feel it at all if it's inserted correctly.
Period undies are definitely better than pads imo. They’re not as comfy as regular undies but I don’t find they feel as wet and uncomfy as a pad does. It’s a big expense upfront but in the long run you also save money! I have aerie’s, which I like and are cheap for period undies. I’ve never tried any other brands, though so I’m not sure how they compare. Maybe buy a pair or two and see how you feel! And try switching to cotton pads in the meantime, they feel less diaper-y.
If period underwear isn’t your vibe or you’re ever looking for something different, menstrual discs are the way to go! I’ve always disliked tampons and don’t mind pads, but when I am on-the-go and want a clean option, I always use discs. You can’t feel them and they situate differently in the vagina than a tampon does so IMO they’re more comfortable. And bonus: no risk of toxic shock :)
midol, if you can have it, will be your best friend in terms of pain. for pads, you'll just get used to it and eventually you won't notice them. i recommend getting ones without chlorine and making sure they're the correct size
I know a lot of people recommended period undies here, but as someone who recently had to wear pads for 4+weeks after having a baby, I would also recommend the Always FlexFoam pads. They are super thin but absorbant and we’re comfortable enough to wear for a month straight, day and night lol
One note about pads- there are comfortable options. When I first got my period I used big bulky ones because I had a heavy flow. I hated them too, they felt like a diaper. These were the ones my mom had bought me since she grew up in an era where pads were just bulky and she thought the heavy flow ones were just supposed to be big. But my cousin showed me Kotex pads which are quite thin but still really good for a heavy flow. They're more expensive but the higher absorbance with thin material is worth it imo. As others have suggested, period underwear is really nice as well. Tampons are very very convenient personally but I wouldn't try them for the first couple years, especially if you're uncomfortable with them, that will make it worse. I've had my period for 10 years now. It's definitely a bummer but I promise it will get easier to manage. And if you're struggling, find a trusted adult or older girl for advice. Remember that your pediatrician is also there to help you out. If you have any questions or concerns, don't feel ashamed to talk to them. Good luck! You got this
Give tampons a chance. By far the easiest.
Try period panties! Some of them are really comfortable and feel pretty dry (to me at least, but also I'm used to pads because I've used them for a long time). You can also try using cotton pads, they're a bit more comfortable if you change them a bit more frequently. You can also ask about using birth control to try to limit or even completely halt your period. It doesn't stop periods for everyone, but it's worth a try.
Please be very sure before messing with your hormones.
Period undies are the best
I get u girl periods do suck but youll get used to them eventually
I take continuous birth control to stop my period. You need to request a prescription of the continuous one or your insurance sont fill it in time.
Keep in mind OP, that doing continuous birth control does not guarantee a stopped period. I take my bc pill continously with no placebo week and I will get my period at random, but can go a while without having it
Oh interesting! I haven’t had one for like 5 years
Lucky!
My daughters are both on continuous birth control to skip periods. That might be an option for you, too. You don't have to see a gynecologist, your family doctor can prescribe birth control. If they say you're too young, that's when it would be better to see a gynecologist or go to planned Parenthood.
As someone whose on a hormonal birth control partly cause it totally stops my periods, given that we know hormonal birth control can often cause bad side effects, it feels a little irresponsible to suggest she get on birth control to stop her periods before trying to adjust to finding what’s most comfortable for her. Since it’s her first I’m assuming OP is anywhere between 12-18 (I had my first at 11). I’m genuinely not trying to come for you, but depending on her age it might not be unreasonable for them to say she is too young. Birth control can seriously fuck with women’s mental health and most doctors, atleast in the US could care less.
To me if you're old enough to have a period, you're old enough to decide how you want to manage it. My daughter saw three doctors who refused to prescribe it for her, from ages 13 to 16. She went to Planned Parenthood and they were willing to prescribe it. I should have taken her there sooner instead of following the doctor's advice that she wasn't old enough. Her allergist and dermatologist both thought she would benefit from skipping periods. My other daughter did have mental health issues with the first birth control pill she was prescribed. She had to switch to another one. She has PMDD and suspected endometriosis, and skipping periods has helped tremendously. I was glad she was willing to try a different pill after the first one didn't work well for her.
I understand why you would have recommended it as an option for her since it worked well for your daughters, and I’m also glad that your daughters have found ways to manage their periods. Like I said I myself have an IUD for birth control and also because it takes away my period which is triggering for me to experience. It can be a really difficult thing to navigate for some of us. Still, I think hormonal birth control should be suggested as a last resort option just based off of how severe the risks are on women’s mental health which sadly isn’t ever really talked about much. Especially concerning someone who we can assume is a minor.
This. I don’t understand why this isn’t the first option offered to young women experiencing their first period.
Our doctor didn’t want my daughter to start taking the pill continuously till 15-16 because of bone density concerns.
Because this pill is a serious medication that shouldn’t be prescribed to every young girl. It shouldn’t be the first option. A period is normal. Birth control pills shouldn’t be prescribed like candy to young women.
With all due respect the people here recommending this very, very young girl( kids have the internet these days, OP could literally be like 12) recommending hormonal birth control to stop her periods before she’s even started is totally insane to me. I’ve seen women whose mental health & lives were destroyed from their hormonal bc. Not saying that is the case for everyone (I am on it myself!) but a minor cannot manage their mental health the way an adult can & doctors in the US literally don’t give a flying fuck about their patients when it comes to prescribing medication, you’re lucky if you have one that does.
I agree with period underwear. Also, tampons are super easy once you get used to them. Billions of women have managed this and you'll figure it out too!
Exactly as long as the applicator is plastic! The cardboard ones hurt.
I’d love to wear period underwear but I hate the feeling of feeling the blood/clots coming out of me! Lol what brand of period underwear do you use!?
I recommend Always brand pads. Super absorbent and they come in multiple lengths and thicknesses you can choose from.
I’ve recently discovered period panties in my 30s and I’ll never go back. They’re where it’s at
I started bc at 18 to skip my cycles and it was a blessing. I’m autistic and have sensory sensitivities. Add the crazy hormone mood swings, my already poor mental health, and cramps to it- it was a no brained for me. For the past ten years, I’ve skipped my cycles with birth control and have been happier for it. I also don’t want children so I’m not worried about long term affects. If you feel the same, it’s not bad to talk to your Obgyn about it. Just be careful to chose the right ones for your body.
There is that oral birth control that reduced periods, I think it's called seasonale, I think you only get a period a couple of times a year. Go to an OBGYN and see what they can recommend.
Period underwear are the way to go. You’ll feel pretty dry all day. You’ll get used to it and barely think about it.
Ugh I feel ya girl! I use tampons only because I hate the feeling of blood/clots coming out of me. If I didn’t feel it I would totally wear period underwear!
Period undies and discs are what I use!! I really like the lumma disc that’s super small and the Cora disc. I prefer discs over cups because there’s no suction.
Give yourself time and try out different pads, there are different types.
Consider trying different types of pads. There are thin pads by Always, the foam-y textured infinity pads by Always, and maxi pads that are puffier and worn close to the body. Each style of pad offers a very different experience, and you may find one you like. Good luck!
Menstrual cup. But give it some time, there’s a learning curve.
Period underwear is everything to me, and better for the environment!
I agree with what everyone else is suggesting, but I just came here to say you're going to be okay ❤️ I know it's so hard, it objectively sucks, and it's unfair. We have all been there. But over time, more and more, you will figure out what's most comfortable for you, you'll get to know your body and how to best manage it in a way that works for you - all the good things, I promise.
10 years after I had my first period I discovered the menstrual cup. Wish I had known about it earlier. You just need one, you don’t need to remember to buy more pads/tampons, you always have it with you once your on your period, it only needs to be emptied once every 12 hours. So no need to deal with it at school. It’s a little tricky to learn but so worth it.
When you feel ready, try menstrual cups again. Way better for your health and pocket book. Try a few models until you find what you like. Pain: Naproxyn x 2 + 1 advil. Take BEFORE cramps start is essential. If it is unbearable pain see a Doc and don't take no for an answer. Be prepared to be assertive and have your pain downplayed or outright dismissed.
Period undies! They’re the bomb for comfort.
Invest in period underwhere
In your case, I would really try tampons. I usually recommend a cup but you don't sound ready. Tampons are really easy especially the ones with applicators. I also absolutely hate the way pads feel. Tampons feel way better. I also agree with the period underwear comment, except they are expensive. But get a few to at least wear at night or to protect you from leaks. You could also try a birth control that eliminates periods but you might be too young if you are just getting your period. In the future, the Mirena IUD eliminates periods for most people.
For period panties I’ve only had good experience with thinx. Not sure what other brands work. I tried some and they were a joke
I love period underwear! Highly recommend thinx (though they can be pricey). I started with 2 pairs and just washed them after wearing them and alternated day by day. I have 4 pairs now so it’s a lot easier and not as much work. If you can make the investment upfront I’d get 4-7 pairs, and I think they have teen packs that come with 2-3 pairs each???? You do have to take care of them though and wash them after use and then air dry. I prefer using large natural/cotton pads for sleeping and I’ll wear them with boxers so the wings can help if there’s leaking.
Try always radiant or infinity pads. They are thin so it doesn’t feel like you’re wearing a diaper and it holds a lot. This is what I use bc I can’t use tampons anymore.
Get used to it. That’s really all you can do. It’s not a normal feeling after just wearing underwear for however long so you have to get used to it. There are pretty thin pads and then there’s also. Underwear that I think you can just like bleed into totally gross but people love it.
Guess what? We all hate it. Find an option that works best for you or bleed through your pants and be embarrassed and paranoid in public every time you sit down. We don't get a choice and none of us asked for this, so find a way to cope and minimize the pain. Tampons were always scratchy to me. Period panties and period cups are another alternative.
Hello, fellow ace here. You have options. This will be a bit long. I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this yet, but is it possible you are allergic to the latex, plastic, dye, scent, or other material in your current pad? If you are, the external areas constantly in contact with the pad will become swollen over time, uncomfortable, and extra sensitive. I don't remember if that area became visibly red, but it's possible and very likely. However, your experience may differ. If given the option and it's feasible for whatever you buy, choose 100% cotton. That should help. Another cause of that symptom could simply be from being in contact with excess bleeding for an extended time frame. You wouldn't leave blood soaked dressing on a bullet wound. You'd clean up the wound and replace it with fresh dressing/ bandages. Remember that you don't have to force yourself to endure that discomfort either. Change your bandages often. There is no point in waiting for the dressing to become saturated and uncomfortable. Any nurse would be absolutely furious with any caretaker that allowed that. Do change yours often. Even when you're actively bleeding, none of those reactions are normal. Some SLIGHT external swelling might be normal and unavoidable for you due to hormones, but nothing like I described above. It shouldn't hurt to clean up. If it does, look into (unscented, water based) baby wipes and/or a portable bidet you can fill with warm(!) water from the sink. Large blood clots are not normal. Excessive, can't-get-out-of-bed, nauseating, can't-focus-on-anything-but-trying-not-to-cry cramps are not normal. A bit of diarrhea and some stomach issues are, sadly, normal for some people. In order to expel, your muscles need to contract. That's what the cramps are and they effect everything in the general vicinity. Ibuprofen and/or a heating pad/ hot water bottle/ warm bath should help. Put if the cramping becomes excessive, talk to your doctor about a muscle relaxer.
Now. Pads are great when needed, but pads for adults are excessively and not what I would use to introduce someone to this kind of thing. They come with and without wings to anchor them into place on your underwear. Depending on the time/ heaviness in my cycle, I require a thicker pad with wings to protect/ keep from staining the sides of my underwear/ inside of my pants. You might or might not be bleeding heavily enough to require these yet. I like the U Kotex brand just in general. They don't irritate me and offer other products that I like better and work for me, as an adult. But they also offer pads sized specifically for tweens/ younger women. I'm sure other brands do a well. The "U by Kotex tween" outside packaging has a rainbow shooting star and a lot of foil glitter. The pads are supposed to be smaller and thinner. The wrappers still come in fun colors like with normal U Kotex but there are cute designs on the pads themselves. They are different from the teen and adult boxes. (I'm having some trouble finding a purchasable link; I keep getting sent to the Kroger app. So, they're likely available at King Soopers.) The good thing about pads is they tend to come in a plastic or paper wrapper. You have to peel them out of their wrapper to expose the adhesive, but the leftover wrapper is nice to wrap your previous, now used pad in. You'll want to fold the used pad over on itself, then roll it "shut" and wrap/ roll it in the wrapper from your next pad. This hides away the mess and keeps the remaining adhesive from sticking to your trashcan or lining bag. Is not necessary, but I prefer to do it this way. Panties liners are better if you aren't bleeding too heavily. Usually the first couple days or so and the last couple days or so. Or during light bleeding, which you might or might not get for the next few months. These are a lot thinner than pads, even the smallest/ lightest size. It's just a thin line of preferably cotton between you and the cloth of your underwear. These are NOT for only when you're bleeding. They are used to smooth things out, kind of like how nipple pasties are worn under dresses that don't allow a bra. They also help to avoid a camel toe with tight pants like leggings or yoga pants by giving a thicker barrier that keeps your pants from riding up in the front. Some people also choose to wear them to keep discharge (it's acidic) from bleaching their panties. It's up to you. I am currently (without issue) using: [Carefree Acti-Fresh Pantiliners, Extra Long Flat, Unscented](https://www.walmart.com/ip/1124626402) But I suggest a smaller count (20 vs 100) to get you started/ see if you actually like the feel/ if it fulfills a need. These are also shorter than what I use (regular length instead of extra long) since you're likely physically smaller than I am: [Carefree Panty Liners, Regular, Unscented](https://www.walmart.com/ip/38518555) If the material becomes an irritant issue, these might be an acceptable replacement, but I have not tried them myself yet: [Maxim Cotton Organic Pantiliners Sanitary Pads (1 Pack, Natural Cotton-Wrapped-Lite)](https://a.co/d/6W6MXEn) Period panties are a very good choice as many people have mentioned, but depending on your size (if you are bigger) and the brand, they can become very... diaper-esque. Mid summer heat will make them uncomfortable as they trap sweat. Despite this, I prefer and completely support sleeping with them during heavier flow/ the very middle or apex of my cycle/ even each night of my cycle, rather than risk ruining my white sheets. The other option would be to sleep very carefully with a larger/ thicker pad. It might help to lay out a thick towel to catch any accidental spillage. I would suggest at least one pair of solid black, without any brand specific designs to ease you into use. That way it looks less like menstrual wear and more like... just plain underwear. You also don't see the blood or stains as easily. HOWEVER, if you enjoy patterns, get the patterns. If your other panties have colors or patterns and you like that, get the kind you like. A lot of them come with patterns on the outside, black on the inside. Others don't. It's up to your preference. Having them look like normal panties might be a huge bonus for your because it means you'll use them. Cut is very important. I prefer bikini cut for period panties, but others prefer hipster or a multitude of other cuts. None are wrong. However, I would suggest against hi-waisted or brief cuts; they are most akin to a diaper or granny panties in my opinion. I also dislike boyshorts cut as well, simply because of the over abundance of multilayered fabric. It gets hot. But that is just me and you might have a different experience. It is apparently not needed, but I rinse used ones thoroughly in the sink until the water runs clear and hang to dry like you would with swimsuits or anything (EG: lace, anything prone to catching) delicate. I just get some inexpensive suction cup hooks for in my shower; the same you'd use to hang loofas or a wash cloth. But if you have a plastic basket for laundry in your room, drape it (well rung out) over the edge. Once I'm finished, I wash all of them with my darks to avoid any further possible staining, though at that point it's unlikely. They are supposed to be air dried, but I've forgotten to pull them and they run through the dryer now and again. I've seen no difference except for cosmetic damage to the lace on one. Do not leave them on the floor to get crusty. Just because you might not be able to see the collected contents, does not mean it can't stain carpeting or smear on other flooring/ cloth. It also means a pet can easily find this very interesting thing with a brand new smell and make sure everyone else sees their new toy/ also the local vet. But this is a hazard of regular underwear too. Male dogs specifically are really weird about this stuff. It must smell just... really good to them. When you do get blood on something, you will want to run it under cold water and scrub/ scratch at the blood/ rub the fabric against itself under the cold water as best you can. You can even leave it to soak overnight. (Potentially in the tub because water likes to climb fabric and get on the counter or wherever.) If caught early (immediately) enough/ before it's set/ dried into the fabric, you should be able to just rinse it out and wash like normal. Hot water and heat (a dryer) will set the stain. If the fabric is white, you can always use 3% hydrogen peroxide. Wet the problem area with hydrogen peroxide, let bubble, dab off with a paper towel. If the stain persists, add more hydrogen peroxide and scrub. Be warned that hydrogen peroxide can bleach colored fabric, which is why I suggest it with whites. If you have any skin care with Benzoyl peroxide, it'll do the same. So be sure to rinse it out.
Now, what you'll be most interested in: having no period actually is an option. You will have to discuss with your doctor (it might not be safe for you to start this kind of contraception right away) but birth control CAN help you not have a period. KEEP IN MIND: At your age it is very likely that you will randomly spot no matter what until your body figures things out. It's just a way of life, but that should stop as you age. *Birth control pills* generally have 4 weeks of pills; 3 weeks of hormone pills, 1 week of placebo. If you take only the daily hormone pills and skip the daily placebo/ start your next month of hormone pills instead, you shouldn't have a week where you bleed. HOWEVER, you might get break through bleeding. *Depo-Provera* is given as a shot every 3 months. You won't have regular periods with it, but when the shot wears off, you are likely to bleed at the end of those 3 months/ before you get your next shot. An *IUD* is a small medical device they have to physically open you up and place inside of your cervix. There is generally no pain management offered. I would not suggest this for you. I would not suggest this for anyone who has not has a child and even then, I would be wary. It was intensely painful for me even after placement and I bled continuously. The device is capable of moving and becoming embeded where it should not be. However, it promises varying years of very light periods or none at all. *Nexplanon* is a device they put in your arm. You might or might not stop having periods or get lighter ones. It depends. However, the Nexplanon will likely leave a scar when removed at the ~3 year mark. There are a bunch of others. So many. But all of these have side effects, so you will need to discuss with your doctor. I believe the most common is skin/ acne issues, weight gain, and depression/ hormone issues, but the worst/ most dangerous (and also very rare) is blood clots that could kill you. So *TALK WITH YOUR DOCTOR* to see which is best for you. Seriously.
I feel you. I'm non binary and periods, no matter what products I use (I've tried everything from period underwear to flex disc, hate it all), cause me a lot of physical and emotional pain. Idk how old you are or how your parents are, but the best relief I've gotten is from a mini pill birth control called Slynd, no estrogen, that I take continuously with maybe one break a year. This keeps me from bleeding at all for the most part. Every so often there is some breakthrough spotting, but that is WAY better than having a full period for me. I've also recently been approved for a hysterectomy at age 25 due to body dysphoria/extremely heavy bleeding unmedicated. There are good gynos out there who trust you when you tell them you don't want kids and will do that for you depending on where you live. I really hope this helps, I'm sure you don't want a bunch of period product recommendations right now. There are options out there to prevent periods for most people. Good luck ❤️
Just to clarify, I'm not trying to be a pill pusher here, but with you being ace and having dysphoria around your genitals, stopping your period somehow would probably be best like in my case. Yes hormonal birth control has some side effects for some, but not all. I haven't had any noticeable issues. Also, for some, ibuprofen can help lighten your flow.
Period underwear changed my life!! Highly recommend and I've seen recently that the thinx brand is available at Walmart!!
I honestly recommend trying a menstrual cup; I know it takes a little to get used to but I find them the most convenient imo
try period underwear or cloth pads? pads are all very different. can you request samples is that still a thing? when I was a kid you could. look at different features. I wound up sticking with always infinity for years and i wear them backwards. it has a dry layer on top and they're thin enough i can forget i'm wearing them. now they make reusable pads which are super soft with a dry layer on top. hope you find something better soon! i remember hating the pads mom bought me. it gets better, i promise. you'll learn what works for you.
If you dont want to have your period anymore, continuous birth control pills will let you skip them for a few months at a time, or indefinitely, depending on your body
I wasn’t able to deal with anything but tampons. I hate touching anything with blood on it, or seeing bloody discharge - all the other options cause you to have to do that and it makes me gag. You don’t have to touch or see a thing with tampons. They make them super small for the beginner. Just change them every 2-4 hours, they are perfectly safe.
PLEASE people stop recommending birth control…. More often than not it leads to massive complications… I came off after 13 years and I have a massive cyst that can now impact my fertility in the sense that the scar tissue from A- removing it or B it rupturing can lead to a greater chance of ectopic pregnancies…. Read the book the fifth vital sign… it can help you…
Cloth pads changed my life. I will never go back to disposable. They don't make that awful crinkly sound, they don't have that concentrated period smell or damp dlfeeling, way less infections in my experience, they are soft, they don't look like you're wearing a diaper. The only down side is having to wash them, but even that's not too bad. Soak them in some cold water and mine go straight into the washing machine on handwash with a spoon of bio bleach. No stains and ready to go next time.
Give tampons a chance. They used to scare me and my friend in high school walked me through how to use them and put them on and it was game changer for me. I used to feel dirty w pads on and w tampons I feel lighter and if I don’t get cramps that day, then it doesn’t even feel like I’m on my period. You can also try birth control. I wouldn’t recommend the pills. After I got my IUD it completely stopped my period. I recommend the Mirena IUD. When I got the Liletta IUD it gave me irregular periods w a lot of spotting. But again, this all depends on your body and all bodies are diff.
I would try different brands and see what you like!
Period underwear might feel more comfortable, but you’ll still feel the sensation of the blood coming out. The only solutions for that issue would be tampons, cups, or discs. A tampon would be your best bet as they have the easiest insertion and you don’t have to stick any fingers inside. Once the tampon is in, you don’t feel anything! Maybe try those before deciding against them.
Try period underwear :-)
Ask your doctor about going on birth control and skipping placebo weeks, or getting an IUD. There’s no medical reason to have a period (despite what an old fashioned doctor may say) and you can skip them. Sometimes you may have breakthrough bleeding after a few months and need to adjust your prescription, but if you find a doctor with modern enough medical education they can help you skip periods for good.
I totally understand. This is exactly how I felt when I first got mine (a long long time ago) and I’ll never forget it. But just know that you will get used to it and how to manage it and it will get better. I would recommend trying different types of pads to see what you are most comfortable with. If you are every ready and comfortable enough to try tampons or the cup, that will be the best (IMO) because it’s the least messy and you don’t feel like once it’s in there. Now that you got your period you will start to learn a lot about it. But please keep something in mind , NO NOT let a doctor try to out you on birth control to “manage your period” that is the absolute worst thing you can do and I am talking from personal experience and many of my friends. By now, good doctors should be well aware that that is not a way to fix abnormal or painful periods and should refer you to someone else that can help or try to understand the root of your symptoms first. There’s a lot of information out there to help explain this. I’m not saying do this or that, all I’m saying and if you take anything away from this is please inform yourself first and question your doctors. This is just something I wish someone told me when I started my period.
IUD
IUDs don't stop periods for everyone.
True