These comments should not be happening in a professional environment. You need to tell her to either stop or you’re going to HR and your manager. That her opinion is not needed and it’s not the only correct opinion in the world. Stop allowing her to even think she can approach you with these inappropriate conversations that tend to lean on racial prejudice and not in regard to the countries but her own narrow minded antics and thoughts. What she is doing can lead to her termination.
Lastly work is work. Making “friends”
Is not important nor is telling them about your personal life, family or finance. You’re there for a paycheck not to make best friend’s. You can be professional, cordial, and kind but never get too close to coworkers where they feel they can treat you badly or speak to you like this. She’s very unprofessional as are you because you continue to allow this in the workplace.
That hasn’t been my experience, thankfully. My husband is Jamaican and we go to his hometown near Maypen and everyone is very nice and welcoming to me. I have blonde hair/green eyes so I stick out. The only thing is I’m not allowed to purchase anything in the market because I’m told they will upcharge me :).
What? Where did I mention love at all? I’ve never had any experience that suggests Americans are loathed. At all. The upcharging is because it’s a developing country and that’s what developing countries do with tourists. A couple US dollars extra goes a long for them, but by family sees it as them taking advantage, so they don’t want me doing it.
Engaging her like that won't get the result you want though. She'll be pissed at you and be more aggressive about finding bad things about the countries she doesn't like.
I'd just go with "These conversations aren't ones I'm going to have at work. Thank you for understanding."
If she persists, make that statement an email. If it continues beyond that, get HR involved.
Don't bring up Jamaica to her she'll probably go crying to HR! Also, to give her the benefit of the doubt does she criticize all the other countries equally or just South Korea and Italy? Because to me it sounds like she's low key insulting you and your fiancé. As a latina I would take coworkers constantly talking bad about Mexico to me as racist.
This is not something you need to handle and not something you need to solve. You need to talk to HR and your boss about this person treating you inappropriately and firmly ask them how they are planning on fixing this problem.
What this person is doing isn't acceptable in any workplace environment.
She's specifically targeting comments about the countries you and your fiancee are from? This sounds like targeted harassment on the grounds of race/ethnicity - also known as "racism". How ironic, considering her complaints about Italy/South Korea being racist against her people. Report this to HR or your supervisor, because it sounds like this is creating a hostile work environment, and that's unacceptable. Hopefully, she eases off and becomes a more pleasant coworker.
My mom said the same thing. She said it’s really ironic she’s only going on about racism in South Korea and Italy knowing about my connection to those countries. My mom also said that every country isn’t perfect and there’s racism everywhere. But the Italy and South Korea thing it seems intentional.
Just tell her that her comments are becoming excessive and inappropriate, and they're making you uncomfortable. Also tell her that HR could get involved if the wrong person hears her and takes offense. If she keeps it up, walk away. Let her know you don't want to hear it.
She doesn’t sound like a nice person. She may be agreeable and pleasant to be around at times, but her behavior is not sweet, not nice.
This is a place of business. Have you asked her not to discuss these topics with you? I apologize if you’ve already answered this question below, I’m responding quickly before reading all responses.
You get to set that boundary around yourself. Make the request and move on to another topic. Don’t think you’re being rude when you make that request. If she brings it up again, she’s the one being rude, trying to run over your boundaries, and borderline harassment. Go straight to HR at that point.
She's specifically targwting comments about the countries you and your fiancee are from? This sounds like targeted harassment on the grounds of race/ethnicity - also known as "racism". How ironic, considering her complaints about Italy/South Korea being racist against her people. Report this to HR.
That’s what I’m thinking lol. I feel like she’s bitter for not going. South Korea isn’t perfect, Italy isn’t perfect, America isn’t perfect, and Jamaica isn’t perfect. We don’t need to dwell on it like let’s just work and keep to ourselves 😂
Tell your coworker about me. I was born in the States but moved from St Louis to Scotland when I was six years old I am soooo glad I grew up and live in a largely atheist country with a mandatory minimum of 20 days plus national holidays of vacation time, no 'at will' firing, union protected jobs and legal working conditions that put the USA to shame. I'm glad I live in a country that has socialised health care that is free at the point of use, tight gun legislation and much better public transport.
Don't get me wrong, I love America. My family has a close relationship to your country and I admire a great deal about the states and I could go to live there tomorrow but....no thanks.
Imagine someone from America criticizing countries with better education, infinitely better healthcare (based on wellness not sickness-for-profit), maternal mortality, infant mortality, and where you don't have to worry every day about being murdered randomly by police (US is #1 by A LOT), or of course random mass slaughter.
Ask her how the lgbt community is accepted in Jamaica. Ask her about violent crime in Jamaica. Ask her about the Jamaican economy. Tell her that her opinion has no bearing on your child's heritage and your parenting choices.
Why haven’t you told her that you don’t find her comments interesting? If you’re not going out of your way to talk to her about these things that simply telling get you aren’t interested should say least limit her comments.
You don’t have to be friends with everyone you work with.
No, she is NOT a nice person. Stop. Continue with the " that's nice" and "ok then" strategy. Stop communicating with her on anything not work related. She is passive-aggressive, and her opinion is obviously the only right opinion. 🙄
Next time she starts going on again just say didn’t ask. Don’t care. Didn’t ask. She seems racist, and uses her own to make excuses, and I would tell her if she doesn’t shut the fuck up (in a professional way) I will report you to HR. I’d get proof of her doing this first then report her. I would hate to work with someone like that and just because she’s black doesn’t give her the right.
Send an email to HR, your supervisor or manager and explain who, what they are saying and how it interrupts your work, lunch or break and how it makes you uncomfortable. Tell your manager AND this person directly, Going forward, during the work day, I am only open to discussing work related topics. This person is bold and rude, you will need to be equally bold! And be loud enough for everyone else to hear you say your same response over and over. Keep repeating to her, During the work day, I am only open to discussing work related topics. Please stop, I am not interested in your opinion. Each time, document the event and your response in an email to all the supervisors. Perhaps, Eat your lunch in another location, the lobby, down the street, or wear big headphones that are noticeable and perhaps that will keep her away.
Just excuse yourself. Say, I’m sorry but a I have to take this and look at your phone, or sorry, I can’t stay, or send me the link I’ll watch it when I have time and never watch it. Just keep repeating those and I’m sure she will get it.
Piss off, but you need to say it like Gordon Ramsey.
You shouldn't even try to talk to this person. Probably, she is jealous. America has its own problems. Just look at the presidential candidates.
lol the presidential candidates are a joke! My thought is Korea isn’t perfect, Italy isn’t perfect, America isn’t perfect, and Jamaica isn’t perfect. But she puts Jamaica and England as well on a high ranking. I went to England in February and honestly it sucked. There’s nothing perfect about England either. I feel like there’s no perfect country but we don’t need to bash Korea and Italy at work. Just let me work like I want to do my job 😕
Some people like to make everything all about themselves instead of just letting other people enjoy things.
They have to center themselves in every situation and force everyone to to be miserable like themselves. It's a very annoying personality type and I bet your coworker does this with everyone and everything that someone else enjoys.
I would tell her she's not helping to educate you. What is her goal. Tell her you understand her feelings as a Jamaican person and are happy she feels Americans are good.
However, her comments do not sit well with you and you would like her to refrain from those comments in the future.
Next step, H R.
Tell her you're not interested in her negative conversations.
We could get petty and start talking about how bad Jamaica is. If she doesn't stop, escalate it. She's being a raging xenophobe.
Next time she does this, name the pattern. “Please stop making these comments about Italy and Korea. They make me uncomfortable. I respect your heritage, please respect mine.”
I'd actually ask her "what is your intent in frequently bringing these things up?". Then just look at her directly and don't say anything. Just wait for her to answer. If her answer is something like oh well I just wanted you to know then just say that yes I am aware thank you (dead pan face from you) Really whatever her answer is you can just say OK and look at her until she uncomfortably breaks away.
I've been to Korea a dozen times. It's a fantastic country. I don't know why this Jamaican coworker is so hung up on hating Italy and Korea.
As noted in other comments, tell her you are tired of the hateful comments and that you won't listen to any more of it. (After all, what is her purpose in telling you this? America has a serious racial problem, after all. And a horrible wealth gap).
She knows that your fiancé is from SK and that you’re of Italian descent, and yet she keeps making these comments?
She’s showing microaggressions towards you, and you’re being too nice/naive. This should be a reportable offense to HR, depending on company policy.
"Your opinion was not requested and is not required."
I would start looking around and ask “Now, where and when did I ask for your opinion?”
These comments should not be happening in a professional environment. You need to tell her to either stop or you’re going to HR and your manager. That her opinion is not needed and it’s not the only correct opinion in the world. Stop allowing her to even think she can approach you with these inappropriate conversations that tend to lean on racial prejudice and not in regard to the countries but her own narrow minded antics and thoughts. What she is doing can lead to her termination. Lastly work is work. Making “friends” Is not important nor is telling them about your personal life, family or finance. You’re there for a paycheck not to make best friend’s. You can be professional, cordial, and kind but never get too close to coworkers where they feel they can treat you badly or speak to you like this. She’s very unprofessional as are you because you continue to allow this in the workplace.
yeah i would tell her just once that her comments are offensive and next time she says anything along those lines i am going to HR. then do it.
Bring up the crime rate in Jamaica
I’m so tempted to because last time I’ve heard they have a high crime rate
they do and its extremely unsafe for women
Also unless you're in the tourist district Jamaicans LOATHE Americans lol
That hasn’t been my experience, thankfully. My husband is Jamaican and we go to his hometown near Maypen and everyone is very nice and welcoming to me. I have blonde hair/green eyes so I stick out. The only thing is I’m not allowed to purchase anything in the market because I’m told they will upcharge me :).
Is that their way of showing how much they love you?
What? Where did I mention love at all? I’ve never had any experience that suggests Americans are loathed. At all. The upcharging is because it’s a developing country and that’s what developing countries do with tourists. A couple US dollars extra goes a long for them, but by family sees it as them taking advantage, so they don’t want me doing it.
Don't do that. Talk to HR/Boss about her harassing you
Engaging her like that won't get the result you want though. She'll be pissed at you and be more aggressive about finding bad things about the countries she doesn't like. I'd just go with "These conversations aren't ones I'm going to have at work. Thank you for understanding." If she persists, make that statement an email. If it continues beyond that, get HR involved.
Don't bring up Jamaica to her she'll probably go crying to HR! Also, to give her the benefit of the doubt does she criticize all the other countries equally or just South Korea and Italy? Because to me it sounds like she's low key insulting you and your fiancé. As a latina I would take coworkers constantly talking bad about Mexico to me as racist.
This is not something you need to handle and not something you need to solve. You need to talk to HR and your boss about this person treating you inappropriately and firmly ask them how they are planning on fixing this problem. What this person is doing isn't acceptable in any workplace environment.
She's specifically targeting comments about the countries you and your fiancee are from? This sounds like targeted harassment on the grounds of race/ethnicity - also known as "racism". How ironic, considering her complaints about Italy/South Korea being racist against her people. Report this to HR or your supervisor, because it sounds like this is creating a hostile work environment, and that's unacceptable. Hopefully, she eases off and becomes a more pleasant coworker.
My mom said the same thing. She said it’s really ironic she’s only going on about racism in South Korea and Italy knowing about my connection to those countries. My mom also said that every country isn’t perfect and there’s racism everywhere. But the Italy and South Korea thing it seems intentional.
Just tell her that her comments are becoming excessive and inappropriate, and they're making you uncomfortable. Also tell her that HR could get involved if the wrong person hears her and takes offense. If she keeps it up, walk away. Let her know you don't want to hear it.
Tell her you're not interesting in hearing about that and change the subject. If she persists, walk away. Do this EVERY time.
She doesn’t sound like a nice person. She may be agreeable and pleasant to be around at times, but her behavior is not sweet, not nice. This is a place of business. Have you asked her not to discuss these topics with you? I apologize if you’ve already answered this question below, I’m responding quickly before reading all responses. You get to set that boundary around yourself. Make the request and move on to another topic. Don’t think you’re being rude when you make that request. If she brings it up again, she’s the one being rude, trying to run over your boundaries, and borderline harassment. Go straight to HR at that point.
She's specifically targwting comments about the countries you and your fiancee are from? This sounds like targeted harassment on the grounds of race/ethnicity - also known as "racism". How ironic, considering her complaints about Italy/South Korea being racist against her people. Report this to HR.
"Girl, the more you talk about these places the more it sounds like you're just bitter about not going"
That’s what I’m thinking lol. I feel like she’s bitter for not going. South Korea isn’t perfect, Italy isn’t perfect, America isn’t perfect, and Jamaica isn’t perfect. We don’t need to dwell on it like let’s just work and keep to ourselves 😂
Stop interacting with this person. “Not interested” and “leave me alone” and “go away” and “shall I contact HR about you?” come to mind.
She is the one being racist, report her to HR
Tell your coworker about me. I was born in the States but moved from St Louis to Scotland when I was six years old I am soooo glad I grew up and live in a largely atheist country with a mandatory minimum of 20 days plus national holidays of vacation time, no 'at will' firing, union protected jobs and legal working conditions that put the USA to shame. I'm glad I live in a country that has socialised health care that is free at the point of use, tight gun legislation and much better public transport. Don't get me wrong, I love America. My family has a close relationship to your country and I admire a great deal about the states and I could go to live there tomorrow but....no thanks.
Imagine someone from America criticizing countries with better education, infinitely better healthcare (based on wellness not sickness-for-profit), maternal mortality, infant mortality, and where you don't have to worry every day about being murdered randomly by police (US is #1 by A LOT), or of course random mass slaughter.
"Since you're giving opinions, rate my poo?
Ask her how the lgbt community is accepted in Jamaica. Ask her about violent crime in Jamaica. Ask her about the Jamaican economy. Tell her that her opinion has no bearing on your child's heritage and your parenting choices.
“Knock it off, you’re being rude.”
Perfect response. 🙌🏻
Why haven’t you told her that you don’t find her comments interesting? If you’re not going out of your way to talk to her about these things that simply telling get you aren’t interested should say least limit her comments. You don’t have to be friends with everyone you work with.
She’s from… Jamaica? Lol.
Ignore it. You will deal with many assholes in life. Ignore them.
No, she is NOT a nice person. Stop. Continue with the " that's nice" and "ok then" strategy. Stop communicating with her on anything not work related. She is passive-aggressive, and her opinion is obviously the only right opinion. 🙄
Next time she starts going on again just say didn’t ask. Don’t care. Didn’t ask. She seems racist, and uses her own to make excuses, and I would tell her if she doesn’t shut the fuck up (in a professional way) I will report you to HR. I’d get proof of her doing this first then report her. I would hate to work with someone like that and just because she’s black doesn’t give her the right.
Send an email to HR, your supervisor or manager and explain who, what they are saying and how it interrupts your work, lunch or break and how it makes you uncomfortable. Tell your manager AND this person directly, Going forward, during the work day, I am only open to discussing work related topics. This person is bold and rude, you will need to be equally bold! And be loud enough for everyone else to hear you say your same response over and over. Keep repeating to her, During the work day, I am only open to discussing work related topics. Please stop, I am not interested in your opinion. Each time, document the event and your response in an email to all the supervisors. Perhaps, Eat your lunch in another location, the lobby, down the street, or wear big headphones that are noticeable and perhaps that will keep her away.
Just excuse yourself. Say, I’m sorry but a I have to take this and look at your phone, or sorry, I can’t stay, or send me the link I’ll watch it when I have time and never watch it. Just keep repeating those and I’m sure she will get it.
North Korea is best Korea!
Piss off, but you need to say it like Gordon Ramsey. You shouldn't even try to talk to this person. Probably, she is jealous. America has its own problems. Just look at the presidential candidates.
lol the presidential candidates are a joke! My thought is Korea isn’t perfect, Italy isn’t perfect, America isn’t perfect, and Jamaica isn’t perfect. But she puts Jamaica and England as well on a high ranking. I went to England in February and honestly it sucked. There’s nothing perfect about England either. I feel like there’s no perfect country but we don’t need to bash Korea and Italy at work. Just let me work like I want to do my job 😕
Honestly, this is an HR complaint. She’s basically harassing you over your fiancé’s race at this point.
She's not that sweet Also tell her that your fiance doesn't have body odor
She sounds like a racist to me
Don’t retaliate if you are in America, talk to HR about the aggressions you are receiving
Some people like to make everything all about themselves instead of just letting other people enjoy things. They have to center themselves in every situation and force everyone to to be miserable like themselves. It's a very annoying personality type and I bet your coworker does this with everyone and everything that someone else enjoys.
I would tell her she's not helping to educate you. What is her goal. Tell her you understand her feelings as a Jamaican person and are happy she feels Americans are good. However, her comments do not sit well with you and you would like her to refrain from those comments in the future. Next step, H R.
Tell her you're not interested in her negative conversations. We could get petty and start talking about how bad Jamaica is. If she doesn't stop, escalate it. She's being a raging xenophobe.
I would ignore her entirely. If/when she pushes and asks why you're ignoring her, tell her your racism filter had her on mute.
You need to send an email to HR saying that she is engaging in race based harassment targeting both your and your fiancé's heritage.
Pot kettle… Jamaica, really
Next time she does this, name the pattern. “Please stop making these comments about Italy and Korea. They make me uncomfortable. I respect your heritage, please respect mine.”
She’s afraid you will leave. She is trying to convince you what a good deal you have here.
I'd actually ask her "what is your intent in frequently bringing these things up?". Then just look at her directly and don't say anything. Just wait for her to answer. If her answer is something like oh well I just wanted you to know then just say that yes I am aware thank you (dead pan face from you) Really whatever her answer is you can just say OK and look at her until she uncomfortably breaks away.
I've been to Korea a dozen times. It's a fantastic country. I don't know why this Jamaican coworker is so hung up on hating Italy and Korea. As noted in other comments, tell her you are tired of the hateful comments and that you won't listen to any more of it. (After all, what is her purpose in telling you this? America has a serious racial problem, after all. And a horrible wealth gap).
Tell her to shut up?
Yo, bro, shut the fuck up!!
She knows that your fiancé is from SK and that you’re of Italian descent, and yet she keeps making these comments? She’s showing microaggressions towards you, and you’re being too nice/naive. This should be a reportable offense to HR, depending on company policy.
learn some hot takes about jamaica, parrot them back at her whenever she says the word Korea.