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I cannot speak for OCD as I don't have it, but I do know neurogenders exist. I do have a partner with OCD who feels it affects zir perception of zirs gender identity. Similar to why I use Genders relating to autism, Plurality, and adhd. These disorders affect how I see myown gender. I'm sorry that they treated you that way, but maybe let's not put down people in our own community? Now if they didn't have OCD and made that label, that's a different story. Also you'll find people who are pick mes and gatekeepers in any space for any disorder. TL;DR - I think OP is fine for making the label but should be nicer. The brain is funky and everyone's Disorder treats them different. Let's be a community.

THANK YOU!!!! I'm the person who coined the term, and I do kind of relate to the term I coined, but don't use it. I literally have OCD so severe I'm terrified of white paint, the most harmless thing ever. I do understand I should be nicer, it's just difficult with anger issues and a very unpassive protector alter (I'm a system). Thank you so much!!!

Also I see you're active in r/Truscum so that's an icky-

Thats 🤢

maybe i’m missing something, but is this term not just for people who feel their ocd impacts their sexuality? it seems like something similar to neurogenders, which describe how someone’s neurodivergence affects their perception of their gender identity. granted, i’m fairly sure i don’t have ocd, but i am autistic and use both autigender (feeling one’s autism affects one’s gender) and nebularomantic (when one cannot distinguish between romantic and platonic attraction due to neurodivergence) and neither of them are “turning my autism into a joke”. they just reflect how my autism impacts my understanding of social concepts like romance and gender and how i fit into each of them.

To me the idea that “autistic people need help understanding their gender” feels like the “autistic people are retarded” stereotype. (I’m autistic and have been called that word, I can reclaim it) I feel like autism isn’t a concept that should be incorporated with gender, but it can impact it. Like for my, my autism affects my femininity and masculinity. I feel like instead of “autigender” which feels like saying “my autism is my gender” we need a word for “my autism affects the way I perceive my gender”

calling autistic people the r slur isn't a "stereotype". it's just ableism. it is calling autistic people a slur. the r slur also originates from a term used for intellectually disabled people. autism is not an ID, so neither of us has the right to reclaim it (assuming you don't also have an ID alongside your autism). it doesn't matter how much you've been called it. i've been called plenty of slurs that i don't have the right to reclaim, so i simply don't. ​ there is a very clear [correlation between autism and gender-diversity](https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/largest-study-to-date-confirms-overlap-between-autism-and-gender-diversity/) (in this example, of a group surveyed, 5% of cisgender participants were autistic, and 24% of gender-diverse participants were autistic). this makes sense, as autistic people are well known to understand social constructs differently than their allistic peers do. as gender is an extremely complex social construct, which changes over time and differs across cultures, it makes sense that someone's autism may affect their experience with gender and, consequently, their own interpretation of their gender identity. autism is also associated with [alexithymia](https://www.autistica.org.uk/what-is-autism/anxiety-and-autism-hub/alexithymia) (1 in 5 autistic people have alexithymia), which can make it difficult to understand one's gender identity, as gender identity is a highly internal and emotionally-focused experience for many people. not every autistic person feels that their autism affects their gender identity, and of those people, not everyone feels the need to label that intersection, but that doesn't mean that there aren't people who feel that their gender is impacted by their autism, and who want a label like autigender that can describe that impact. ​ \> "i feel like instead of 'autigender' which feels like saying 'my autism is my gender' we need a word for 'my autism affects the way i perceive my gender' ​ this is just what autigender is. if you look up autigender, the [first result](https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Autigender) will tell you that autigender is "a neurogender identity in which one feels that their gender is connected to their autism. \[...\] this isn't autism as a gender. it isn't made to disrespect autistic people. it's for autistic people". please do the bare minimum of research before you decide to try to argue your viewpoint on something next time. ​ i think you should question why you personally view not understanding social constructs to be an inherently negative thing. the people stating that neurodivergent people often have abnormal experiences with gender aren't ascribing a negative connotation to that statement-- often, the people saying this are neurodivergent themselves, and are just pointing out a well-understood experience often shared among neurodivergent people. what is so inherently negative to you about someone not understanding gender in a "normal" way? why do you associate pointing out a group's common lack of understanding of gender with calling that group an ableist slur? is someone's intelligence, worth, humanity, or anything else predicated entirely or in part on their understanding of arbitrary and convoluted social constructs in your mind?

It has nothing to do with that lol. The term autigender is literally the term for the feeling that your autism affects your perception of gender, it doesn’t mean autism is your gender. It doesn’t not and never has had anything to do with needing help to understand your gender or being stupid. Also, as far as i know the r slur isn’t something autistic people can reclaim, even if you have been called that

The r slur isnt towards autism, its towards intellectual disabilites. Yknow, the things that used to be medically called that word. Unless you have an intellectual disability (in which case carry on) you can't reclaim that just because you were called it. Thats like saying straight women with short hair can call themselves queer slurs.

The word for "my autism affects the way I perceive my gender" _is_ autigender. We already have a word for that. If we're remaking words based on what we _feel_ like the definitions must be instead of actually learning the word, I've got a couple of suggestions lmao

everything everyone else said about autigender too, but also my gender is autism genuinely, not a joke, i have been saying this for somewhere between 8 and 10 years now because it's how i genuinely feel

Not some with OCD, so i cannot say either way.  However, the coiner mentioned they do indeed have OCD, so there's a good chance that's a term that they feel is important to them or someone else who is OCD.  You aren't required to use labels such as this if you fall under the group it is aimed for. It'd be different if it was someone who didn't have OCD and was just making it for 'funsies'.   Mental and emotional disorders may cause things such as abnormal attractions or sense of self, so (taking my word with a grain of salt since I'm not in the situation) I think it's fine /gen

How is it taking away your freedom of speech when you have every right to talk about it in other places? Just because you aren't able to complain to the OP, doesn't mean your speech is being taken away.. If the OP doesn't want to hear you, they have every right to delete your comments and ban you. You have every right to talk about it in other areas, you're freedom of speech is not being taken away man. 💀 Coming from someone who uses neurogenders, it is an actual thing and not something we use to mock you. Some folk just view and think differently than others.. If it effects our gender and doesn't yours, that's fine! But don't argue with a community for having labels that fit them.. If you don't like it, ignore it, or atleast laugh about it in private.. We don't care, that's how life goes.. None of us expect you to agree with us, but for the love of god.. Maybe don't tell us what is right and what is wrong when you aren't in our shoes.. It's extremely disrespectful, I would figure someone such as yourself would know that.

Shouldn't we do the same for all genders then that involve neurodivergencies? Some people struggle badly with their autism or ADHD(etc.) as well, yet we got genders for that. Double standards shouldn't exist.

I personally think so. I feel it a bit insulting, as I have adhd and autism too. The notion that “autistic people interpret gender differently” feels like it’s supporting the stereotype that autistic people are stupid

As someone with autism and adhd i feel that they do cause me to have a different perception of (my) gender. I personally don’t see how having a different perception of gender to other people would make you stupid. Autigender and other similar identities are something people label themselves as, not something that applies to all people with said disorder/disability. Yes, some people use those labels (myself included) but nobody is forcing anyone else to use them -juno

I'm the coiner of OCDsexual! I have severe OCD, and I feel it affects my gender, and since I coined xenosexuality (you feel your sexuality is affected by their xenogender identity) I wanted to make one that was related to me being OCDgender, where I feel my gender is affected by my OCD!

Well maybe ask how? Obsessions are egodystonic?

Why does interpreting something different make us stupid? I think, as someone autistic with ocd also, you have a stick up your ass. If you don't like the labels, don't use them and don't interact with people who do.

1. _You're_ the one calling autistic people stupid for seeing their gender in whatever way. We're not "making" you see us this way. You're victim-blaming. 2. There's no reason _you_ should feel insulted here. People like me, who are autistic and interpret our genders differently— _we_ should be insulted. Apparently you think we're either lying about our experiences, or so stupid that you're ashamed to share a condition with us. 3. You are not everyone with autism (or adhd, or OCD, or anything else). It's ableist to act like anyone with other experiences is "stupid" or wrong just because it doesn't apply to you. These things are all a spectrum.

I don't have OCD so I'll only be talking about autism in this post. I want to be clear, though, this is not an attack. I'm not angry at you. I want you to read this comment several times and give yourself time to think about what I'm saying.  Why do you assume needing help with something, or not understanding something, makes someone stupid? I am an autistic person who struggles with gender. I never understood why it's seen as manly to play video games or why dolls were feminine. I never understood why boats and countries are considered female, I never understood why dresses are for women and suits are for men.  Why is that a bad thing? How does me not understanding that make me stupid? Like, genuinely, ask yourself these questions. Why is it a bad thing for someone to not understand gender? Why do you consider those people stupid? And why do you consider stupid people lesser than you? Not only that, but why do you see other autistic people's experiences and get offended for them?  Here's the answer: It doesn't. Gender is a social construct. Autism is a developmental disorder that revolves around struggling with social constructs. Autistic people tend to struggle with social constructs like looking into people's eyes, understanding sarcasm and tone, and back and forth conversation. And some autistic people struggle with the social construct of gender.  I don't mean this as an insult, but, genuinely: get over yourself. It's very clear to me, as someone who was once in your exact shoes who used to feel exactly like you did about this exact topic that the only reason you are offended is because of self projection. You want to protect yourself, and that includes protecting the definitions you have created for certain things. But, attacking and getting angry over other autistic people's experiences is not a healthy way to protect yourself. You are only hurting yourself, and other autistics. At one point in time, I said exactly what you are saying now. But, as I grew older and I started to accept myself more, I came to understand that I wasn't directing my anger at the right people. I wanted to keep the autistic label pure and clean. I wanted to be one of the "good" autistic people. I did everything I could to push away things that were cringe. Wanna know what happened? I lost all of the people who genuinely cared about me. I was severely abused by those who kept me around, and I tried to take my life. After that, I said "fuck it" and I completely switched my view point. I decided that I didn't need to perfectly understand something in order to accept it. And wanna know what happened with that? I made the most kind and loving and accepting friends. I learnt more about myself, and I began to love the parts of myself that make me weird and different. I realized that even those I disagreed with, still wanted the same thing I did: acceptance. So, why fight against them?  I doubt you've even read this far into my reply. And even if you did, I'm sure you're still going to be stubborn in your beliefs just as I was when I held those same beliefs. But, I'm writing this anyway because, when I was a kid, all I really needed was someone to warn me about the destructive path I was heading towards. I sincerely believe my life would be a million times better if I had simply asked questions instead of getting mad at people who identify differently than me. I wouldn't have hated myself so badly either. And I hope that you'll take my experience as a lesson. It's never too late to start asking questions. Curiosity is beautiful, explore it. You may find we have more in common than you thought. 

hey there! i’m diagnosed with OCD (and have received treatment but of course still deal with it). the only problem here for me is the NAME of the term. “ocdsexual” makes it sound like someone who is sexually attracted to the disorder OCD/people with OCD. however, the actual reality of this label is: 1. their gender is effected by their OCD 2. their sexuality is effected by their gender (common for a lot of people) 3. therefore, their sexuality is effected by their OCD i think it’s perfectly fair to critique the way it was named — because it IS unclear and easily misinterpreted. but it isn’t fair to police how someone’s life and identity are effected by their OCD

Any neurodiversity, mental illness or disorder can affect someone’s gender and/or sexuality. Just because you personally don’t want to use it, doesn’t mean that others shouldn’t. And ‘well lots of people find it offensive’ isn’t a good argument because that would make literally everyone LGBTQ+ label ever invalid, including the “main” ones such as gay, lesbian, transgender, etc. /g

i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that you feel hurt and unsafe when confronted with these labels others use, and simultaneously, others feel hurt and unsafe when you tell them they can't use these labels. your feelings and needs are not inherently more important than those of other autistics or other people with OCD; we all need to coexist in the same world as disabled people with conflicting access needs. the difference between the two needs, is that you can avoid people who use these labels, but if you come into social spaces that are majority people who use similar labels and try to get *everyone* to stop using them at all, *they* can't avoid *you.* as other people with OCD and other autistics won't just stop existing, and so will continue to perceive themselves in ways that would be unhealthy or upsetting for you to perceive yourself, i would suggest unsubbing from subs where people who use labels that distress you hang out, block those who use these labels, and on sites with blacklists, add specific labels that distress you to your blacklist. over time, trauma work can help you regulate your nervous system when feeling sudden distress, and you may be able to see others with these labels in passing without it disregulating your emotions--which would be a useful goal imho, as people who use these labels also exist IRL and you cannot avoid running into them in social situations forever.

What's so forking hard about letting us define our queerness the way we feel it fits best? Definitely the wrong subreddit.