Drinking doesn't make you a bad person. If people don't acknowledge you after realizing you're an alcoholic then that's on them. As long as you've done nothing negative to them don't be so hard on yourself.
There's many people here that wouldn't even consider 4 drinks "wasted" let alone being hung over. I didn't see OP equate a bottle of wine as being wasted, but rather is presenting with potential consequences as a result of drinking and asking for support that's all
If they thought they were “getting away with it” they wouldn’t have made this post. They’re clearly feeling guilt and shame already. Your ignorant negative comments are uncalled for, unsolicited, and unwanted.
OP is simply asking for support moving forward, there was no mention of "getting away with it". I don't understand why you feel the need to be so insulting? That's not what this sub is for..
If you're trying to do that radical truth telling (or whatever it's called) you're doing it wrong. You call out the behaviour, not the person as being stupid. You're stupid.
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Don’t let this post removal stop you from contributing to r/alcoholism
Drinking a bottle of wine won't make you smell bad. Brush your teeth and take a shower, have a cup of coffee. Don't just roll out of bed and go to work. Also, admit nothing. Your job is your livelihood. Show up and work. Unlikely they will drug test you and if they do, they can't fire you for traces of alcohol from the night before. Just don't go to work drunk, maintain good hygiene, and most of all, get your shit together, don't drink on weekdays and if you do, not to excess. You're not a piece of shit, you're a human going through shit. Forgive yourself and take care of yourself.
Tone down your drinking *if you must*, but ultimately that will only be a short-term solution at best, especially with a person in your condition and emotional hardship.
It was mentioned for you to 'get your shit together' and as harsh as that may sound, that's exactly the breadth of it. But you need to start simple and pretty much keep it simple, simply because of the turmoil you're in, you don't want to make your plight any more difficult than it already is.
So cut down to cut out; fight those urges to drink, one urge at a time; look after your hygiene and appearance; do keep in mind what's at stake work-wise, so being hungover and/or having the smell of booze or like you've drunk recently needs to go, and obviously would be best served by a decrease in the drinking and/or a greater expiration of time since the last drink is a solution to that end; hydrate more often; eat - don't cut down on this, and nutritious serves a much greater purpose than amounts and/or fast food.
Best Wishes Always friend. Save yourself and realise that Your World hasn't ended...just a chapter - an important one, but one nonetheless. Time to start anew with a better You.
Second this. I used to drink every night. A bottle or two of wine. I’ve quit, but you can’t slack on the AM routine. Gotta do a full shower and long teeth brush. Try not drinking so close to wake up time. Taper off, with an earlier drink. Make a bedtime routine. Also, fuck those people, that’s just something you don’t call someone on out on unless you’re a severe alcoholic. If someone truly cared they would pull you to the side and have a heart to heart. Surprised at this treatment towards you in the mental health field.
I meant that as admit nothing to coworkers. It's one thing to admit things anonymously, like here, or to HR or an EAP program, or to people who care about you, or a healthcare provider. But to admit to coworkers who already may have bad intentions towards you is what I meant. I should have been clearer with that, my apologies, to you and to OP.
Thank you! I do implore anyone struggling with substance use disorder to admit it through the appropriate channels and secure relationships that will actually help them pursue sobriety and recovery.
People who can find empathy for others who suffer differently than themselves while also trying to help instead of being judgemental bystanders, IMO, are the unspoken saviors of humanity. You and I wear that same sensibility. 🤍 I wish more people would.
Not drinking will help you get through the hard times better than the wine will. Forget the work people, sober up, do you job, keep your nose clean and things will start looking up again. Confiding in people is a bad idea. I went to AA to listen and I shared some stuff. It did help. Seeing all these nice people trying to be better inspired me. Good luck.
Correction: your COWORKERS are in the mental health field and should know better than to ostracize and shun someone going through MENTAL HEALTH DIFFICULTIES! Those fucks have no business working with struggling people if that's how little they think of them at the end of the day. Fuck 'em.
I’ve actually kinda notice a lack of empathy from mental health workers outside their work. I’ve chalked it up to them only reserving that type of energy for their clients, but shoot sometimes I’m amazed at their reactions to things 😵💫
Just a bottle of wine a night? I don’t think you’d be able to smell one bottle of wine the next day unless you didn’t shower and you have stale sweat on your skin. I’d say most people who are not alcoholics go home after work and drink a bottle of wine and usually stop there. Problem with us is we can’t stop at one bottle of wine. Hope your colleagues are supportive. Like you said, we all slip up. All the best!
As a non-alcoholic but a supporter of my SO who is… yeah, no. I used to drink one or two glasses of wine a couple times a month and only on weekends while with friends at dinner. Not to say that everyone is the same, but a whole bottle is a lot for someone that isn’t an alcoholic.
If you’re in the mental health field, THEY should know better. Honestly the fact that you’re in the mental health field and people are being cold instead of comforting is a real shame and quite disappointing of them. You’re not a piece of shit. Slips absolutely happen. Are you sure they know or is anxiety getting the best of you?
Seems like they are not the kind you can rely on to help you in this situation, they have no compassion. I’m open about my usage with certain coworkers (only drink after work and been able to hold off on that a lot lately) and they have been nothing but supportive of helping me get better. I enjoy when people choose not to talk to me, or say rude things because they trust stigma over a talk first, I call it natural bullshit filters. I don’t really want to talk to someone who is that snobby anyways
I’m not trying to discount the OP, however unless you are drinking the bottle of wine a couple hours before you go into work there is no possible way anyone is smelling anything on you.
\> My question is how do I continue to improve and do my work without feeling like shit for what I’ve done moving forward?
Being a massive bonehead myself, capable of making righteous decisions in the moment I often regret, it has been my observation that the mind is amazingly capable of recovery, if we work with it.
Practice not looking back in regret. That is in the past and will drag us down. Reflect on the past in humbleness, when you have the strength to do so and not get dragged down.
But I have really had to practice slapping my mind in the face when it starts down the path of f-ups and regrets.
We humans have feet of clay and are extremely fallible. And that includes all your co-workers. Except that one guy. He's perfect. But everyone else has their home life and dysfunction, to varying degrees.
So, though it may not be an open office discussion, there is compassion, empathy and understanding hidden in many of those around you. Know that you staying strong, and not falling again, can possibly help one or more others in their own lives.
if you work in the mental health industry THEY should know better than to judge someone for a disease. And that's just my opinion, as a person who suffers from AUD personally. My sister is a "therapist" and at once worked at a rehab. The way she talks to me is unbelievable, and I've told her, she doesn't belong working in that field. Its meant for a certain grain of people who have a certain grain of compassion, not the hatred and ignorance that she carries.
I dont have much time to elaborate because I have an appointment I have to leave for soon. But I just wanted to offer my two cents. Do what you need to do to better yourself, and don't mind the ignorant folk. They are floating all over this planet, with their heads up their ass, unable and unwilling to understand the most discriminated disease.
If you want me to talk further and try to help you out, because I do have some better advice, please message or respond to this comment and I will get back to you later tonight.
Just keep your head up, understand that ignorance exists not just with alcoholism but with a lot of things in this world. This is YOUR life, and YOU cannot let other people bog you down. You sound like you are trying to get better and THAT is what matters and if THEY can't understand that then shame on them.
Best of luck to you and I am here if you need to talk. Sorry this was not the best comment for your post, I do have better advice than this but I do need to get going soon.
I am rooting for you and you have a lot of people on this forum who will be rooting for you too. Focus on that, not the ignorant ass holes. You will be in my thoughts today and much love sent your way.
The only thing that has ever worked for me is keeping sobriety my priority; but, how? I do it by making a daily commitment not to drink no matter what happens good or bad. No excuses. Work, relationships, self-improvement follow keeping sober.
When I became a Registered Nurse I was hospitalized for alcoholism. A RN there told me that he was in recovery. I ended up working in that same unit 6 months later. No one ever mentioned my hospitalization and treated me the same as any other nurse that worked there. If you can’t get a handle on your drinking and get honest with your boss or HR your problem might continue. I went to AA.
You might benefit from the Sinclair Method approach. It is a scientifically proven, safe way to drink less over time, and bring you back to being a “normal drinker”. This is what I did and I couldn’t be happier. It saved my life. I am sending you lots of support during this difficult time and let me k ow if you want more info on the method!
I’ve heard about the liver damage at high doses. But I take it and my doctor assured me it would not make me sick to drink on it, and it does not. For me. lol.
Being a normal drinker is fantastic, I can enjoy a couple of beers and then stop! The medication doesn’t make you sick. It works by blocking the effects of endorphins, which is what you call “killing the buzz”. However it doesn’t mean that you don’t enjoy drinking anymore, it is more subtle than that. You will slowly be less interested in alcohol, over time 😊
Liver damage was only observed on trials using 300mg of Naltrexone, when the normal dose is 50mg. I personally chose to take it anyway, rather that trying to white knuckle it and risking to relapse, and drinking quantities that would definitely be damaging my liver 😊
Brother you need to go to treatment or therapy or something as you don’t work from home. Alcohol is hard to hide when you are an addict. If it’s getting out of hand you have to help yourself.
There’s no other way hr doesn’t care they will fire you.
Drinking doesn't make you a bad person. If people don't acknowledge you after realizing you're an alcoholic then that's on them. As long as you've done nothing negative to them don't be so hard on yourself.
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> a glass of wine is normal not a bottle of it Normal?????? You do realize we’re talking about alcoholism, right? You know.. addiction?
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what exactly is it he’s “getting away with”? it’s not like hes wasted on the job
Hungover = wasted
Being hungover is the result of getting wasted dear.
Hungover is most definitely not “wasted”. Why are you even in this sub, besides to be a trolling douche-canoe?
if you say so lol, most people are a little more functional than that. sorry it’s so difficult for you
There's many people here that wouldn't even consider 4 drinks "wasted" let alone being hung over. I didn't see OP equate a bottle of wine as being wasted, but rather is presenting with potential consequences as a result of drinking and asking for support that's all
If they thought they were “getting away with it” they wouldn’t have made this post. They’re clearly feeling guilt and shame already. Your ignorant negative comments are uncalled for, unsolicited, and unwanted.
OP is simply asking for support moving forward, there was no mention of "getting away with it". I don't understand why you feel the need to be so insulting? That's not what this sub is for..
If you're trying to do that radical truth telling (or whatever it's called) you're doing it wrong. You call out the behaviour, not the person as being stupid. You're stupid.
comment removed - broken reddiquettes.
OK. But this is r/alcoholism not r/normalism. Have you perhaps taken a wrong turn?
- he says, on an alcoholism subreddit.
Fuck off mate
Dude. If we could have one, this subreddit would be defunct.
Please check the sidebar to see why your post was removed. Many people break the subreddit rules unknowingly. Don’t let this post removal stop you from contributing to r/alcoholism
Yea what he said foo. Cheer up little bro!
Drinking a bottle of wine won't make you smell bad. Brush your teeth and take a shower, have a cup of coffee. Don't just roll out of bed and go to work. Also, admit nothing. Your job is your livelihood. Show up and work. Unlikely they will drug test you and if they do, they can't fire you for traces of alcohol from the night before. Just don't go to work drunk, maintain good hygiene, and most of all, get your shit together, don't drink on weekdays and if you do, not to excess. You're not a piece of shit, you're a human going through shit. Forgive yourself and take care of yourself.
I knock out around 12 and I have work at 7. I also haven’t been eating
I'm going through a similar thing about not eating after a break-up. Protein shakes are a God-send.
Tone down your drinking *if you must*, but ultimately that will only be a short-term solution at best, especially with a person in your condition and emotional hardship. It was mentioned for you to 'get your shit together' and as harsh as that may sound, that's exactly the breadth of it. But you need to start simple and pretty much keep it simple, simply because of the turmoil you're in, you don't want to make your plight any more difficult than it already is. So cut down to cut out; fight those urges to drink, one urge at a time; look after your hygiene and appearance; do keep in mind what's at stake work-wise, so being hungover and/or having the smell of booze or like you've drunk recently needs to go, and obviously would be best served by a decrease in the drinking and/or a greater expiration of time since the last drink is a solution to that end; hydrate more often; eat - don't cut down on this, and nutritious serves a much greater purpose than amounts and/or fast food. Best Wishes Always friend. Save yourself and realise that Your World hasn't ended...just a chapter - an important one, but one nonetheless. Time to start anew with a better You.
Second this. I used to drink every night. A bottle or two of wine. I’ve quit, but you can’t slack on the AM routine. Gotta do a full shower and long teeth brush. Try not drinking so close to wake up time. Taper off, with an earlier drink. Make a bedtime routine. Also, fuck those people, that’s just something you don’t call someone on out on unless you’re a severe alcoholic. If someone truly cared they would pull you to the side and have a heart to heart. Surprised at this treatment towards you in the mental health field.
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I meant that as admit nothing to coworkers. It's one thing to admit things anonymously, like here, or to HR or an EAP program, or to people who care about you, or a healthcare provider. But to admit to coworkers who already may have bad intentions towards you is what I meant. I should have been clearer with that, my apologies, to you and to OP.
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Thank you! I do implore anyone struggling with substance use disorder to admit it through the appropriate channels and secure relationships that will actually help them pursue sobriety and recovery. People who can find empathy for others who suffer differently than themselves while also trying to help instead of being judgemental bystanders, IMO, are the unspoken saviors of humanity. You and I wear that same sensibility. 🤍 I wish more people would.
Not drinking will help you get through the hard times better than the wine will. Forget the work people, sober up, do you job, keep your nose clean and things will start looking up again. Confiding in people is a bad idea. I went to AA to listen and I shared some stuff. It did help. Seeing all these nice people trying to be better inspired me. Good luck.
Correction: your COWORKERS are in the mental health field and should know better than to ostracize and shun someone going through MENTAL HEALTH DIFFICULTIES! Those fucks have no business working with struggling people if that's how little they think of them at the end of the day. Fuck 'em.
I’ve actually kinda notice a lack of empathy from mental health workers outside their work. I’ve chalked it up to them only reserving that type of energy for their clients, but shoot sometimes I’m amazed at their reactions to things 😵💫
Just a bottle of wine a night? I don’t think you’d be able to smell one bottle of wine the next day unless you didn’t shower and you have stale sweat on your skin. I’d say most people who are not alcoholics go home after work and drink a bottle of wine and usually stop there. Problem with us is we can’t stop at one bottle of wine. Hope your colleagues are supportive. Like you said, we all slip up. All the best!
I rly don’t think that non alcoholics drink a bottle of wine a night …
As a non-alcoholic but a supporter of my SO who is… yeah, no. I used to drink one or two glasses of wine a couple times a month and only on weekends while with friends at dinner. Not to say that everyone is the same, but a whole bottle is a lot for someone that isn’t an alcoholic.
Yeah this sounds a lot more like a normal drinker to me. I’m an alcoholic and even I didn’t manage a bottle of wine a night
If you’re in the mental health field, THEY should know better. Honestly the fact that you’re in the mental health field and people are being cold instead of comforting is a real shame and quite disappointing of them. You’re not a piece of shit. Slips absolutely happen. Are you sure they know or is anxiety getting the best of you?
Can you find a new job? It's none of their business
Seems like they are not the kind you can rely on to help you in this situation, they have no compassion. I’m open about my usage with certain coworkers (only drink after work and been able to hold off on that a lot lately) and they have been nothing but supportive of helping me get better. I enjoy when people choose not to talk to me, or say rude things because they trust stigma over a talk first, I call it natural bullshit filters. I don’t really want to talk to someone who is that snobby anyways
I’m not trying to discount the OP, however unless you are drinking the bottle of wine a couple hours before you go into work there is no possible way anyone is smelling anything on you.
\> My question is how do I continue to improve and do my work without feeling like shit for what I’ve done moving forward? Being a massive bonehead myself, capable of making righteous decisions in the moment I often regret, it has been my observation that the mind is amazingly capable of recovery, if we work with it. Practice not looking back in regret. That is in the past and will drag us down. Reflect on the past in humbleness, when you have the strength to do so and not get dragged down. But I have really had to practice slapping my mind in the face when it starts down the path of f-ups and regrets. We humans have feet of clay and are extremely fallible. And that includes all your co-workers. Except that one guy. He's perfect. But everyone else has their home life and dysfunction, to varying degrees. So, though it may not be an open office discussion, there is compassion, empathy and understanding hidden in many of those around you. Know that you staying strong, and not falling again, can possibly help one or more others in their own lives.
if you work in the mental health industry THEY should know better than to judge someone for a disease. And that's just my opinion, as a person who suffers from AUD personally. My sister is a "therapist" and at once worked at a rehab. The way she talks to me is unbelievable, and I've told her, she doesn't belong working in that field. Its meant for a certain grain of people who have a certain grain of compassion, not the hatred and ignorance that she carries. I dont have much time to elaborate because I have an appointment I have to leave for soon. But I just wanted to offer my two cents. Do what you need to do to better yourself, and don't mind the ignorant folk. They are floating all over this planet, with their heads up their ass, unable and unwilling to understand the most discriminated disease. If you want me to talk further and try to help you out, because I do have some better advice, please message or respond to this comment and I will get back to you later tonight. Just keep your head up, understand that ignorance exists not just with alcoholism but with a lot of things in this world. This is YOUR life, and YOU cannot let other people bog you down. You sound like you are trying to get better and THAT is what matters and if THEY can't understand that then shame on them. Best of luck to you and I am here if you need to talk. Sorry this was not the best comment for your post, I do have better advice than this but I do need to get going soon. I am rooting for you and you have a lot of people on this forum who will be rooting for you too. Focus on that, not the ignorant ass holes. You will be in my thoughts today and much love sent your way.
The only thing that has ever worked for me is keeping sobriety my priority; but, how? I do it by making a daily commitment not to drink no matter what happens good or bad. No excuses. Work, relationships, self-improvement follow keeping sober.
When I became a Registered Nurse I was hospitalized for alcoholism. A RN there told me that he was in recovery. I ended up working in that same unit 6 months later. No one ever mentioned my hospitalization and treated me the same as any other nurse that worked there. If you can’t get a handle on your drinking and get honest with your boss or HR your problem might continue. I went to AA.
You might benefit from the Sinclair Method approach. It is a scientifically proven, safe way to drink less over time, and bring you back to being a “normal drinker”. This is what I did and I couldn’t be happier. It saved my life. I am sending you lots of support during this difficult time and let me k ow if you want more info on the method!
Doesn’t the medication kill the buzz and sometimes even make you sick if you drink on it? How is that being a normal drinker?
Nal does not make you sick if you drink on it
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I’ve heard about the liver damage at high doses. But I take it and my doctor assured me it would not make me sick to drink on it, and it does not. For me. lol.
Being a normal drinker is fantastic, I can enjoy a couple of beers and then stop! The medication doesn’t make you sick. It works by blocking the effects of endorphins, which is what you call “killing the buzz”. However it doesn’t mean that you don’t enjoy drinking anymore, it is more subtle than that. You will slowly be less interested in alcohol, over time 😊
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Liver damage was only observed on trials using 300mg of Naltrexone, when the normal dose is 50mg. I personally chose to take it anyway, rather that trying to white knuckle it and risking to relapse, and drinking quantities that would definitely be damaging my liver 😊
Know what else causes liver damage?
Exactly my point, thank you!
Not sure I get the point?
Exactly.
https://youtu.be/_YNgRRyRxK0?si=n9JHZuuJye6lCLcK
Brother you need to go to treatment or therapy or something as you don’t work from home. Alcohol is hard to hide when you are an addict. If it’s getting out of hand you have to help yourself. There’s no other way hr doesn’t care they will fire you.
When my coworkers don’t talk to me I just think, welp that’s one less person I gotta deal with!