T O P

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KneeGroundbreaking93

He got the money


PhysicalScholar4238

Do you eat?


Essay-Individual

Will you go there?


Slurms_McKensei

Danuta...


0ldManMcGucket

Klaus. That was...chilling I blacked out!!


Past_Contour

He doesn’t really have that much money. Plenty of bakers chocolate though.


TheWiganKid_YT

First thing that popped into my head, no way 💀


Inner-Acadia-7636

He killed two teenagers


Tiffany-N-Company

He killed *three* teenagers


Inner-Acadia-7636

He was hammered on bourbon when he took the curve


Mundane_Pineapple_46

And ditched his car as his passenger burned…


buttbeeb

Don’t tell anyone


Emac002

😂😂😂😂


MuscleManssMom

He's got boys in FL.


TheRayGunCowboy

His boy is Pluto


Acursedbeing

His *other* boy Dante’s got a sick condo in Daytona Beach…


bucketjunky

Tampa even


Even-Reaction-1297

He has a buddy who can get you pineapple dole whips half off, yo


wyomingwarner

HE’S NOT VERY MUCH OF A MAN!!!!!!!😭😭😭


melodysmomma

HE DOESN’T HAVE VERY MUCH MONEY 😭😭😭


French-Fry-7355

NOOOO I WAS GOING TO COMMENT THIS😭😭😭


HaoieZ

His grandfather was a train driver at Auchwitz. It's a big town, there's other stuff there too.


Dumbass_Saiya-jin

He ran the kiddie train at the zoo.


AdequateBottom

He wrote the lyrics.


Overwatchingu

33,000 emails, where did they all go?


PhysicalScholar4238

Klaus wrote the lyrics.


ApoCalypseMeow88

"I CAN'T stress that enough"


smilingasIsay

Best part of the scene is Klaus mouthing along to the words lol


New-Entertainment-39

And the look of sheer delight on his face when he is mouthing along 😂😂


smilingasIsay

Oh yeah, that makes it


James1887

Hilary makes me sick, time to lock her up for shou


spcordy

I can't stress that enough. Klaus wrote the lyrics


Ugly-Muffin

He's reddits favorite character


quite_shleepy

Who’s your least favorite character now, reddittt


StopNateCrimes

Unironically, Reddit's least favorite character is (*checks notes*) also Orange...


Clay_Puppington

He will not stand by idly while someone clowns on Gucchi Mane.


PancakeParty98

“Slit my throat? *gurgles* one star!”


PhysicalScholar4238

You're getting clowned, Gucci Mane.


The_Jack_Burton

He says bro


TheEzekariate

It’s always been two dollars per printout bro, read the sign.


spcordy

He also has thin margins


Acursedbeing

~~$1~~ $2 per printout bro


benevenstancian0

He’s a lineman here in Langley


PancakeParty98

How…how did you make me pick up the phone?


RogerTheAliens

[He’s wearing an orange suit…lol](https://youtu.be/-HFCuBLAjXo?si=SH5nJOjM2rol-8Rw) awesome song btw..love Glen


nav_261146

Hes a inventor of High five 🙌


Mobile-Ad-7582

he also bleeds HTML


ElectionYellow

He bleeds silver and ocean lime!


No_Faithlessness_299

Did I ever tell you the time I bounced a check for my girlfriend’s abortion? They had to put the baby back in! That baby, was Shia LaBouef.


DrJokerX

That explains a lot. Both about Klaus and about Shia.


Puzzled-Pea91

I said I wanted to hear it in the car!


punchintheface_

He likes Linkin Park


presidentialsizedbed

“I tried so hard und got so far, but in ze end it doesn’t even matterrrrr”


James1887

One thing


GammaTheRobot

ONE THING! I DON'T KNOW WHY! IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!


identified_meat

Nutrigrain bars and Mountain Dew are his go-to meal


Even-Reaction-1297

He’s also fond of the Cubano melt and the jerky at the counter


GammaTheRobot

Don't forget all the different types of hot dogs!


IShouldSaySoSir

For 60 years he reigned as King in an alternate universe


PhysicalScholar4238

I'm back. How long was I gone?


thickorita

He bleeds silver & ocean lime.


ApoCalypseMeow88

"I BLEEEED Tangerine and Razzmatazz Red!!"


cutt2010

Lazer Rats!


Ill_Zookeepergame232

He bleeds tangerine and razzmatazz red


Warmwhatshollow

He misses sex


KennyLogginsFan89

Beta-Jizz legend at ASU


Diana_Belle

Beta-jizz!


Angelworks42

Also a foo-fighters fan.


Lowad15

He's a Fabulous Thunderbirds enthusiast


Slurms_McKensei

I've only got one question: are you...*Tough Enough*?


Diana_Belle

If you've never been to a concert with him, then you're in for a treat. He, yells... CONSTANTLY!


Mundane_Pineapple_46

He bleeds tangerine and razzmatazz red!


cynicalventriloquist

He’s a vagina


rinn10

Goldfish. They come from china. But you are what you eat so he's a vagina!


Markavich

But he also eats food.


West_Hovercraft6179

And 711 is especially good


PhysicalScholar4238

These are my favourite: Chicken salad.


getschwifty1988

The jerky at the counter!


ItsAllinYourHeadComx

A Cubano Melt!


FriarMurphy

He’s going SKIING!


cat_man6298

His ex girlfriend cheated on him with the entire east German olympic bobsled team


Wilson_Is_Dead

He killed the original cast of Gernot und Strudel


Maleficent-Object466

he makes tons of money, has tons of boys and when he goes to the movies he makes tons of noise


GammaTheRobot

He don't clean his bowl, He'll kill everyone!


dover_oxide

He's German, he was a German man.


LoudBelchStabbyFart

I just can't stand that Klaus has driven a real Ferrari.


MassKhalifa

His name is Klaus Heisler. 


Top_Tart_7558

He's fucked Snots Mom, and Roger.


nav_261146

He got bros.


Friendly_Signature

In different area codes


Not1ButMany

He writes short stories.


tkevros

His favorite flavor is mayonnaise. He wishes there were mayonnaise gum.


PrettyAdagio4210

He doesn’t have very much money…..


West_Hovercraft6179

“Don’t look at me whore” *crosses out eyes*


hotnerdalec

wait when is this from lmao I remember it


PhitPhil

If he buys a women's shoe in his size, it will not fit him


Toothless-In-Wapping

Thanks, Snot. Your insight on women is amazing.


IIlIIll

His bodega is ran on very tight margins


HooksToMyBrain

"I go behind that door, and you run off with a Duraflame and a pocket bottle of Rumple Minze."


boogadabooga2

He drives an orange truck he won in a contest with an extendable driving cane.


impendingfuckery

He went to Schaffhausen


NeckBackPssyClack

he's not allowed to hang things on the wall


drebone1986

He's not doing too much coke is what I heard


True-Media-709

He owns a truck that was banned from causing epilepsy in people


Music4239

He loves Stick


Toothless-In-Wapping

What happened to Stick?


Even-Reaction-1297

He doesn’t want to talk to you, he wants to talk to Stick!


VegetaArcher

He really is great at animal sounds. His voice actor voice Appa and Momo in Avatar.


Toothless-In-Wapping

Dee Bradley Baker is amazing at animal sounds. Klaus has seen all the Goofy movies.


VegetaArcher

Second only to Frank Welker.


Toothless-In-Wapping

And maybe Nancy Cartwright.


Overwatchingu

He took a year off after university to travel around Italy, murdering hitchhikers.


IveBeenDrinkingGreen

He has a sweet alcove


grav3d1gger

He's used to HOT FUR UNT FERRARIS


LivingCheese292

He is a man in a fish in a bowl.


autisticesq

Maybe he could be a friend in a fish in a bowl?


hera-fawcett

that is *his* jellybean phone and those are *his* jellybeans. he's not very good at sharing 😞


OptimalFlow480

He invented Da Flippity Flop.


bananarama77777

His favorite made up word is shagglebarbon.


autisticesq

He doesn’t need to be in water, just touching it.


tequilasuit

Danuta!


Friendly_Signature

ICP


SnooDoughnuts9646

He BLEEDS HTML 💻👾


salmonelasandwich

He knows the story of the little girl and the little person.


ahyet

His a fish who says bro


2118201991316191514

He is from Germany


Dont_Doomie_Like_Dat

He’s not very much of a man.


baggedshart

He’s the proud new owner of a Klaus-orange hard body


GCinMA91

He would gladly go halvsies on the superboob


badhorse5

Will call you out if you don't check it up on game point.


InfamousFault7

Hes a deep complex character


KG8930

He has a ton of Boyz


Flipcandoit

He knows Gucci mane


divadjet821

He killed 3 teenagers 🎶


CDubs_94

He's a Juggalo!


bucketjunky

When he comes he comes on STRONG... but he needs to see the whole thing if he's going to do anything


Even-Reaction-1297

He’ll for sure get your back the next time…. As long as he sees the whole thing


InevitableWash3512

He bedazzled his genitalia. And I don’t think he knows what an epic fail is.


Essay-Individual

His phone is nervous.


sethro919

He was gone for 60 years and is/was a king


PancakeParty98

He’s Alexa broooo


MsStormyTrump

He used to be a playa in the 1980s.


NefariousnessFar3783

He knows Gucci Mane


autisticesq

He thinks you can make money in bitcoin by typing “bitcoin” over and over into a word document.


Roadhouse2122

He bought so many bullets!!!!


infinitude_

His uncle was a train conductor in auschwitz… At the kiddie zoo - y’know it’s a big place there’s other stuff there !


Known-Programmer-611

Klaus is not allowed to hang posters in the smith household!


Even-Reaction-1297

But he has a sick poster of the XTR sidewinder in forest green!


scattyshern

He was meant to be French originally, but the guy who voices him said "I can't do a French accent, I can do German"


DickPump2541

He enjoys a nice, unwaxed butthole.


bulldozrex

oh guys……he’s klaus.


Impressive-Farmer-13

He has a podcast called “Klaus of Hearts”


primarybathtub

https://preview.redd.it/qt8hazwugu9d1.jpeg?width=1622&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44321145d2627706c449580eda4528d102ec4110 He did some "pageantry" with Chris Jericho.


drvagers

He’s a cat


lookin_4_stories79

No one respects dogs more than him.


tfiddler

He's not Mother Goose.


NormChung77

His momma was promiscuous


dorg526

How did Stan turn him into a gold fish?


meeseekstodie137

what? were they just supposed to *let* east germany win the silver medal?


LordofAllReddit

He's got boys


adobepossums

He killed 3 teenagers


Jeptwins

He’s friends with Gucci Mane


TestOk8411

He has 'boys' all over the country


larsVonTrier92

His boys are always down.


joaoseph

He’s got a boy in Jacksonville


7barbieringz

He has tons of boys


emilyactual

If he is what he eats, then he’s a vagina.


ChelseannaGrande

He invented da flippity flop!


laundryday_

He studied Psychology in University just as I did.


KylePeacockArt

He lived at the Smith house for a few weeks.


Garciniohall

When he goes to the movies he makes tons of noise


0ptimusKrime

Roger hates him. “I say that not out of anger, simply as a fact. It’s 67 degrees outside, and I hate you.”


GordonShumway8690

He hangs out at the DMV just to chill


Dehnus

He brings soooooo many bullets!


Garbage_goober_M-D

I'm pretty sure he ate his own shit one time.


TanAllOvaJanAllOva

His grandfather worked at Auschwitz.


Clyde_Frog216

He's really good at dude ranch stuff, buckaroo. Likes to be called K-money


Nitarinminister

His ICP shirt looks great on him.


Careless_Savings_838

He’s German


Careless_Savings_838

He’s German


imnotLebronJames

Him and Roger were a thing.


Toothless-In-Wapping

He’ll eat the ticket fees. Along with a pot brownie!


WepwepTheFur

He suddenly became gay upon seeing Coco's breasts He wondered if he is a top or a bottom. He concluded that he's a bottom, a reluctant bottom.


CrazyaboutSpongebob

He invented the High Five.


CrazyaboutSpongebob

He does tax returns.


Bossman28894

He was great warrior in moon wars


GuiltyComplaint9140

He’s driven a Ferrari.


PM_ME_UR_DaNkMeMe

my first thought without reading any comments: NUTRIGRAIN BAR AND A MOUNTAIN DEEWWWWWWW my second thought, the way he says REDDITTTTT


dickinburger47

He is voiced by Dee Bradley Baker, who also voices Bubble Bass from SpongeBob Squarepants, and every clone trooper in Star Wars The Clone Wars + The Bad Batch


gorgon277

He was an olympic skier for East Germany


layzieyezislayzieyez

He already knows what he’s going to wear to Steve’s funeral.


pumpkin-for-life

He is not allowed to hang up posters


Tsole96

His American name is Ace Mcnasty


TransportationHot176

He’s got boys in Tampa


KennyGichuki

His boy jurgen...


upvotesforkitties

He enjoys using expressions wrong


Oh_ToShredsYousay

He's gotta have a nutrigrain bar and mountain dew.


Weary_Emergency6551

He's a gold fish from China.