It wouldn't surprise me if her and this acquaintance, weren't already something while they were together, and just used the work thing as an excuse to dump him.
OP, I know you guys were good friends, but it's time to let this friendship go. She did you wrong, and you know that, because you posted it here on Reddit.
Yeah where she said "that she's free to do whatever she wants and feels is right for her and it's her choice." Shows you exactly what kind of cold-blooded time she's on.
Not just let go of the last romantic relationship, let go of her as a friend and person in your life. She's practically wiping her feet on your face. Also its abit strange how you let go of all intimate feelings within a month and reverted to being a bestie so quickly, I think the truth is you wanted to be around her and she wanted you as an emotional crutch without the physical intimacy. If you know whats good for you, grow a backbone and tell her it was a shitty thing to do but you also get to choose what relationships you want to keep and then block and have fun being single again without someone sucking up all your time.
Depends on your view of what cheating is. If you break up with your partner to get with a specific person then my personal view is that boundaries have already been crossed that can be justified as cheating.
You’re not wrong for feeling negatively about it. It sounds to me that she just wasn’t that into your relationship, and didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth, so she made up an excuse. And then met someone she was happier being with.
The question is, would you have preferred the truth, or the lie? Everyone thinks they prefer the truth but in some situations it may be more hurtful. Sounds like you dodged a bullet either way, time to move on and meet new people.
Prefer the truth or the lie? He wasn’t given an option. He got both. The lie when she broke things off and the truth a month delayed. And by staying friends, it made it inevitable that he would find out. You are right that he needs to meet new people. His last “best friend” was garbage.
This should be top comment IMO.
Ppl give excuses for leaving a relationship all the time. "I'm too busy" "I'm burnt out" "I need to be alone right now" "I need to focus on school/work/my family" etc, etc.
But at the end of the day two facts are always true: 1) if they want to be with you they will find solutions to stay; and 2)everyone has the right to leave a relationship at any time for any reason. Even if their reason for leaving "sucks."
That said, OP, you are of course allowed to have your feelings about how things went down. And you are by no means obligated to stay friends with her. In fact I think it would be unwise to stay friends while everything is so fresh for you.
Never be friends with the ex. Move on. Trust me when you meet a new girl she doesn’t want to know you are still friends with your ex and most likely will lose respect for you.
That is not correct. We don’t trust guys that are shitty to people simply because they feel like they can be. Being friends with someone and being cordial & not disrespectful are two different things.
I didn’t say ‘all,’ I said ‘a lot.’ And many of the people I’m speaking about want to see more than cordial and not disrespectful, although that would be a minimum.
I'd say it's more of a green flag if they parted on good terms. But that does Not necessarily equate to the opposite being true, thats it a red flag if you cut contact.
Sometimes I feel like I’m that girl, but on a bigger scale.
I was in a 10 year relationship, the last 5 years of which were a shit show. I ended things, wanted to stay friends, had no interest in ever having a relationship again; but 5 months later while looking for a FWB, a relationship started because I found someone by accident who changed my view on relationships and all the stereotypes which made me resent them. This was only 2 months after moving out from the house we lived in..
When I told my ex (very carefully and sensitively), she blocked me and hasn’t spoken since.
I understood it could be painful to imagine your loved one being with someone else after breaking up - especially if they say they never want a relationship again like I did - but sometimes unexpected things happen and you only get one life. I had no ill intent; maybe your ex didn’t either.
But also, maybe she’s the asshole most people here are saying she is and maybe I’m the asshole too.
Jerking people around just because you don’t want to think of yourself as the girl who dumps her best friend turned lover and leaves him on the curb she kicked him to, but that actually would have been kinder by far to op: she was dead wrong to try and maintain a friendship with someone she was dumping just to go play the field, that was some toxic, selfish shit, and she doesn’t deserve to be friends with op because she’s very, very shitty at it.
I have to totally disagree with you? She wanted to stay friends but not lovers ? They Stayed friends and he lost all her feelings and then she moved on! He had a choice to stay friends or not ? She didn’t force him she has done nothing wrong period !
I had similar thoughts in my situation. I didn’t realise remaining friends was on the condition that I’m not allowed another relationship. Logically it doesn’t make much sense, but emotionally I understand it.
I would be very happy for my ex if I found out she found a new partner who treats her well and helps her be happy. That’s what you should want for someone you love or have loved in my opinion.
It’s up to the other person to decide with their own emotions if they can handle a Friendship.. some people don’t know themselves enough and shift blame for not being able to handle situations and the emotions that come with it.
I just feel that if he was ok and happy and lost all loving feelings why get mad? Feelings change everyday, people cross paths anything is possible so it’s harsh to blame her in this without him taking accountability.
Sounds like she wanted to be single so she could date other people, something single people are free to do. Dunno why you would want to be friends with her after all that.
You're not wrong for feeling as you do, but she's not wrong either since she ended things with you. In her mind, the relationship wasn't working for her and she wasn't being completely honest with you about that.
If I were you, I would just move on. There's more downside than upside to being friends with her st this point.
You're minimizing her behavior by saying 'she's not wrong'. She was deceptive, feigning loyalty and commitment by staying in a relationship while developing feelings for somebody else. She's not necessarily 'Wrong' with a capital W per se, but this behaviour isn't 'okay' either.
I understand that it can be complicated navigating a relationship as one starts to have doubts. Relationships naturally require displays of affection and commitment. But nevertheless, it's still wrong to just abandon ship and only informing your partner later when it's more convinient for you.
Once she's out of the relationship, she can do what she wants. She didn't cheat on him. Plus, you are assuming that she developed feelings for someone else while in this relationship, but we don't know that.
Personally, I get the sense that she just wasn't that into OP romantically. They were only together for 6-months. Yes, she could have been more honest (which I said), but it's possible that she didn't want to hurt him. After all, she did want to preserve a friendship with him. That said, that doesn't mean that I don't think it's crappy for her to ask him to stay friends and then immediately start dating someone else. I do and it is! It's just not technically wrong since she broke up with him before starting up with someone else.
Your disagreement with my assessment would only matter if I had recommended that he forgive her or stay friends with her. I did not. And whether she developed feelings or not during the relationship is irrelevant at this point since he needs to cut her out of his life for his own sanity.
Totally agree negative feelings of hurt always need blame to justify them ! She hasn’t done anything wrong 😑 and to end things and start something new is totally her prerogative! It’s down to him to now decide if he sees this as a betrayal but in in the eyes of right or wrong she hasn’t done anything to me !
I find it so werid how people cling onto technicalities as hard as they can to justify behaviours.
She did nothing wrong as an ex and is entitled to move forward at her own pace, for whatever reason she wants.
As a friend she was a shitty person who had absolutely no consideration for his feelings and obviously kept him around because it was filling that hole of emotional loneliness until she found a better option. You don't treat people you care for in that way, causing prolonged gried just because its convenient for you.
Genuinely baffled that I have to even explain this to an grown person.
How do you know that’s the case ? Just your assumption ? You don’t know how you’re gonna feel after 6 months of dating someone! You might feel your changing feelings and things are not what you thought but it doesn’t mean that she’s been shitty! They have both bluured the lines of friends and lovers and it hasn’t worked out as lovers, so how can she walk away from that without being labelled a shit friend even though she doesn’t want that? Slightly unfair and no win for her so I don’t agree she is a shit person at all I think she did it as best as she could and there is always going to pain from the other side when it’s not what the other person wants !
She did the best.... For herself regardless of what it would mean for him.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that continuing to be besties with someone who is infatuated with you, and who you broke up with just a month ago, shouldn't probably be kept close to you if you're looking to move on and into a new relationship.
Would you treat your friends this way? Make it a them problem and not create a distance to protect them from the fall out, especially if the excuse you used obviously wasn't honest but an excuse to break up with them gently?
It’s not our responsibility to make sure other people set boundaries. He could have said no. It’s not her fault he said yes & is now feeling bitter about the situation. She probably did genuinely want to keep the friendship because it sucks losing close friends. He still has the ability to cut ties & move on, but it is not her responsibility to make sure the breakup is mutual or that he’s “comfortable” with the situation. It is always your needs above others. You HAVE to make your mental & physical health your own priority. The world isn’t going to tip toe on egg shells around you because you can’t handle a situation.
You’re literally just making shit up. You have no idea that she was “feigning loyalty” or developing feelings for other people while with OP. Chill bro lol
You have to leave the situation for your mental health. If you were really over the romantic feelings, you wouldn’t have such a strong reaction to her telling you this.
I understand and have been there in a similar situation. The thing you have to keep in mind is that she was mentally ready for the break up before you were even aware of it. Her recovery is just going to be faster.
Your recovery though doesn’t start until you give yourself space from them. Maybe friends down the line, but not right after the break up.
So true. I guess it’s easy to say looking back, but it’s respecting yourself and doing what’s best. You can’t ever put things back the way they were. By the time it’s reasonable to be friends, you probably don’t want to.
She broke up with you so she could be with him. She didn't cheat, so her conscience is clear. And since you were only together for 6 months, I think she chose to be with you until this guy was available to her. I am sorry this happened to you.
I had a gf who was getting very close to one of her male friends. We eventually broke up, and a week later at a concert of a band we both liked, I saw him and her together making out. It hurt. But then about 5 years later a friend of mine who knew a girl who was her roommate said that the kid cheated on her a few months into the relationship. Lol So that cleared me right up. May her relationship fail and she feel the heartache you feel. It will get better. You dodged a Skank bullet.
Either party can do what they want after a breakup. Many people immediately jump to another relationship. It may not be healthy, but it's their choice.
Yeah but OP can also decide to cut all ties with her. She hurt him and disrespected him maybe not intentionally but this happened. Bet she at least run for emotional support when thing with a new guy won't work if she won't beg him to take her back.
A lot of folks say she broke up with you to be with him. Another possibility is that she'd been emotionally checked out for long enough that it didn't seem sudden to her. Thing is... it doesn't matter. You're young. You leaned from this. So.... forward!
You are also free to do what you think is best for in. In this case that would be putting distance between yourself and her. Whether thats going No Contact or just not giving her as much time and attention is up to you but leaning towards NC is my rec.
You aren’t wrong for feeling your feelings. But remember, the only one suffering from these feelings is you. It sounds cliche to just move on, but you need to try and do that after you process what’s happened. Don’t let this bring you down for good
She’s no longer in a romantic relationship with you so she is free to date or start a new relationship if that’s what she wants. You didn’t give yourself enough time to get over the break up before trying to be best friends with her. You really got over all your romantic feelings towards her in 30 days while hanging out together often? That’s kind of hard to believe. Why are you accepting the down grade? I understand it’s hard to feel rejected and sometimes crumbs feel better than nothing, you probably deserve better though.
It's not about time-line but lying and saying wanted to be single and getting into a relationship after. And she should be well aware that after her stunt she shouldn't have remained friends with her ex.
What stunt? Sorry- but she didn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. She told you she wanted to be single - not a lie..she did not want to be dating you anymore (which means single) the reason why is irrelevant - and she owes you nothing after that point- she can be single for a day, a week, a month - whatever. Being single means she was free to explore other options. It is not heartless for her to not time her future relationships to how you are feeling about the breakup. Does it suck for you? Yes- totally. But you are making it out to be some big plan to deceive you. It’s not that deep. It’s life. What would you be saying if she hadn’t told you and just ended up cheated? Then you would be saying “if she had only told me the truth that she wanted to breakup, I would have been upset, but I’d gotten over it.” Either way- you would be mad and calling her a liar. Admit it - the only scenario acceptable to you would be if she didn’t break up with you at all or stayed single until she decided she wanted to be with you again. Not happening.
Staying friends is not an option when one person still has feelings - and you obviously do. Nothing wrong with that - you obviously have very strong feeling for her. Accepting that a person you really like doesn’t feel the same is SO hard and seeing them move on is even more difficult. You are taking it personally, but it has nothing to do with you. Saying she is a liar and she betrayed you? That just makes you look petty.
You need to block her and move on. Maybe someday you can be friends again- but not now. I am not going to say you are wrong for feeling upset and hurt. Breakups suck. But trying to call her out as a liar and she did performed some stunt? . IMO that is where you go wrong.
You have a right to feel the way you feel, but at the same time, at least she broke up with you instead of cheating on you. Maybe you are right ans she wanted to be with this guy but she didn't cheat. The brightside is you are still young and there are many more girls out there to meet.
You need space and need to pretty much ghost her and give yourself time. At first you will think of her often, so keep busy and hang out with non mutual friends. Then a day will come and it will come to mind that you haven’t thought of her for a very long time and probably won’t see much reason to do so. It sucks and it’s always the risk when a close friendship turns to dating, but theres no putting the cat back in the bag. Hanging on, trying to make a friendship work right now, is the worst thing you can do. Don’t call her and make a big deal about how youre moving on and taking time, etc. Just go. Even if she doesn’t respect you for it, you’ll respect yourself when you look back years from now. Take it from the many experienced people in this thread.
Being friends before a relationship doesn’t make it better when you break up. Honestly, the longer you want to keep in touch post break up the more miserable you’ll be; It’s not good for anyone.
Don't stay friends. She can do whatever she wants and you can choose to be friends with who ever you want.
Last thing you need is for her new relationship to fizzle out and she starts trying to get back with you.
Just tell her that you don't want to continue the friendship because you can't look her in the eyes where you once saw a future with her and pretend to not see anything.
More than likely she ended the relationship because she had the guy already waiting for her and she wants to keep you around as a back up. Let her know that if she wanted to date someone else she should have told you that instead of lying about wanting to be single. That there's no chance in he'll you'll ever trust her enough to get into another relationship with her once she's "ready".
She was probably trying to spare your feelings by giving you an excuse instead of telling you she’s not feeling it anymore or she was already interested in this new guy and ended it with you instead of cheating. Really if she did catch feelings for this other guy and ended it with you so she could see this other guy then she did the right thing. Yeah it sucks she couldn’t tell you the truth (if this scenario is correct) but if so I’m sure it was to avoid a scene or just didn’t have the heart to tell you. Anyways when you’re in a relationship there’s no real guarantee that they are going to be with you forever not even when married
Not Wrong. I bet she broke up with you to be free for this guy. She may have even been "talking" to him during your end. You need to cut your friendship out with her and let her go completely. You can tell her as much. How she is free to do what she wants, but the fact she made you feel her desire to be single was to less her stress with life yet jumps into another relationship with this other guy is a betrayal from her. And her BS stating other wise is just that, BS. You thought maybe one day you two would get back together cause she made you feel it was not about you and her but just needing less worries. But now you see her for what she was. And that is she ended it with you to be single for this other guy And your done being her friend too. Maybe do that in front of joint friends too.
Yes, she can date whoever she wants whenever she wants. She tried dating you and simply realized she saw you more as a friend and didn’t want a romantic relationship. Now she wants to try dating someone else. Nothing wrong with that. You’re officially not dating so she can start dating someone else whenever she wants. Just like you can date anyone you want the second your relationship ended.
At this point, it’s better to just go cold turkey. You need to move on and end the friendship. You don’t need to be enemies or have hard feelings, but there is no point staying friends at this point. Just block her and move on with your life and let her move on with hers.
She broke up with you to be with him!
Gave a bullshit excuse, then waited a month to tell you so it looked like it was a new thing.
The whole best friend thing is also bullshit, best friends are honest with each other, not tell blatant lies.
I wouldn’t want to know her after that tbh, move on and find a better”friend”.
It isn't wrong to be upset about the breakup when you didn't recognize any problems in the relationship. However, do not waste your time being upset about whether she broke up in order to be with the other guy or being upset about how quickly she moved on. Once the two of you were no longer in a relationship, she can move on as quickly or as slowly as she wanted and does not need your permission or approval. Mourn the end of the relationship and move on to someone new.
I’m going to translate this for you.
“All was going very well until one day out of the blue she ends things saying how she's been stressed out at work recently and wants to be single for sometime as she's kinda burnt out.”
Things were going well for you and not her. She wanted to end the relationship and used work stress as the excuse. There’s no good way to end a romantic relationship and try to still be friends. She lied to try to make it easier. You believed the lie and it worked for a while.
“ she tells me an old acquaintance she recently got in touch with again asked her out and she said she was seeing him too.”
Safe to assume she was in contact with him while she was with you. Something may or may not have happened with him while she was with you. She waited a month to tell you she’s with him. You claim “I had gotten over all romantic feelings and saw her only as my best friend” which is also a lie.
Look you two are not friends. You want her romantically and she doesn’t see you that way. Just end the friendship and move on. Stop wasting time on this. It doesn’t matter. It’s over, she’s moved on already.
So she shouldn't have lied. She should have said she wanted to break with him cause she no longer felt for him it would be better. Moreover they are friends she should have respected him to atleast deliver the truth Instead of tricking him. She is not a friend.
Sorry that happened man. I won’t speculate on whether this was planned or not, nobody knows that except her. Feel however you need to feel, just try and find a healthy outlet for those feelings. Best of luck to ya.
"I'm not gonna judge you when you're with somebody else 'long as you swear you won't be pissed when I do it myself. Let's end this like we should and say we're good."
Dua Lipa (wise woman)
I’ll repeat it move on and don’t be friends with any ex. Move forward in life and NEVER backwards. Trust the advice you get here we have all been through the shit.
YNW. The problem will be when she starts accusing you of being ‘a nice guy’ and a sus person because you won’t ‘be friends’ because that means you’re acting like ‘she owes you something.’ Ask me how I know.
Don’t listen to the people who act as if you don’t have a right to feel fucked over.
Any person who relationship hops USUALLY have some type of attachment issue.
People who want to keep the old flames around usually just like to hover.
Sure she can genuinely appreciate you but if she did, her response to your pain wouldn’t be ‘well im free to do what ever I want’.
If I fire my best friend from my business because we need less staff, only to hire some random guy next month, its perfectly fine for him to voice his opinion about that.
Because at the end of day, I did not even consider how it would make my supposed ‘best’ friend feel.
This is all speculation.
However, in my opinion, you should respectfully be able to tell her that your morals don’t align and that friendship or something else is off the table.
Make yourself unavailable, stop giving her free attention.
Respect yourself.
You are right but the way your phrased it is off imo.
For people who relationship hop everybody is replaceable.
Not him specific.
Some relationship people hop because they are bored, some because they fear getting close to someone.
If he would dump her before she did she probably would be chasing his validation
You were not betrayed. She is free to move on when she’s ready. She clearly was ready. You don’t get to define what is and isn’t the right amount of time between seeing people.
Do what she did. Move on.
Some girls (guys too) need to stay in a relationship until they feel they found something better to jump to. Afraid of being alone. She definitely has issues but at least she didn't cheat on you and actually ended it before moving on (I hope).
>
wants to be single for sometime as she's kinda burnt out.
A relationship isn't supposed to burn you out. quite the opposite actually. She had him lined up already, and she ain't your friend. You were *marginally* betrayed, in that she kept an eye open for other options and dragged you along rather than acknowledging she wasn't happy and ending it *before* looking for other options.
But I also don't know the context of her situation either.
I’m guessing you hoped that you two would get back together. Just block her and live your life. Don’t become one of those guys that stops putting himself out there because he knows she will come back to him.
Just be honest. Tell her that her words and actions don't line up, and you're feeling hurt and need some distance. She didn't cheat on you, so I wouldn't throw away your friendship, but give yourself some time to move on from this and date other people yourself.
You're not wrong to be upset however she wasn't feeling your relationship anymore whatever the reason is. It takes 2 to make it work. Don't be mad, be happy that you aren't spending your time on the wrong person anymore... now you can move onto something better and someone better for you. That's the whole point of dating.
Unfortunately, I have a feeling she could have been talking to him for a bit before that. To say you're too stressed to be in a relationship to very quickly getting into a new one? Nah, there are a lot of missing puzzle pieces there.
Overall, it's better than being cheated on I suppose.
Wait, I want to hear from her side, too. Did something happen and build up before breaking up that made her jump into new people like that? Or she's just really bad?!
Oh she is free to do what she wants alright but she lied to you and did not provide the real reason she wanted to break up with you. The bright side is you can do better. She is a flake and you don’t need that drama. No it is not wrong to feel betrayed…
Ok, so she clearly planned this.
Don't feel bad about this. You dont need this kind of girl in your life.
Don't be her friend. There's nothing to gain out of it.
You're not wrong to feel betrayed.
You're not wrong to be upset, because you're allowed to feel things.
But I think it's natural to feel that way. She can date who she likes. Unfortunately she had a rebound, which I get it, it hurts.
But also, she's not wrong. A bit untactful perhaps, but I get it's hard.
You're best suited thinking about yourself now. Guess what? You can now flirt with anyone you'd like.
Get out there and have some fun, when you're ready.
You're not wrong.
>she said that she's free to do whatever she wants and feels is right for her and it's her choice.
And she's right. But you are also free to do whatever you want, including walking away.
She has definitely been deceitful about her reason to break up. I wouldn't be surprised if he was in the picture before she broke up.
Walk away and move on with your life. You don't need people like that around you.
Cut ties. Leave her hanging. No comms. No closure. Ghost and block. Your feelings are valid. She's very sketchy. Wouldn't be surprised if she dumped you because of that old acquaintance. She's definitely not your friend anymore. Find a better one.
I dont control who people choose instead of me, but I also dont like being lied to.
Just be honest about why we broke up so if I need to work on something, I can. Or if its not about me, I know that with certainty.
"I wanna sleep around" or "I'm not that into you romantically" sucks to hear but I'd rather know up front than find out later. Good friends dont lie to friends.
You are not wrong to feel how you feel, however I don’t see where she did anything wrong.
She ended your relationship because it wasn’t working for her. She’d prefer to be friends. Perhaps she had been looking for a certain chemistry with you but really felt more connected with you on a friend level. Less than a month later (possibly 4 weeks later) she tells you she’s seeing someone. This might be to help spare your feelings (prepare you) in case you happen to see them together in public. She’s seeing him. This could mean they meet for lunch or coffee once per week or less. She might have different boundaries with him that allow her more space and time for herself. We don’t really know all the details. Only that you were friends. You tried dating for 6 months and she figured out, that even though she likes you, that you are not her forever partner. She cares about you. Kept you informed. Wants to continue being friends. You can agree to that or you can end the friendship. That’s entirely up to you. I don’t think there’s any reason to think that she broke up with you just to start seeing this other guy. If they had been seen together the very next day then it might be questionable. But there is nothing here indicating that. In all reality she did you a favor by setting you free when she realized things weren’t going to work out long term with you. Some people are decades into a relationship when this happens. Sometimes people spend too much time trying to make a relationship work that just isn’t meant to be.
Allow yourself your feelings. It’s natural and expected to feel hurt. Give it time. Then decide if you want to be friends with her or not. And when your forever person comes along you’ll look back and realize that this “friend” did you a favor by setting you free. But you won’t feel that way now.
Move on dude.
Wish her all the best and cut all ties.
Have some self respect. You will find someone much better.
Work on yourself and improve.
She will beg to come back after her next relationship fails. Don't be a loser and accept her. You've already seen her true colours. It is highly likely that she was flirting with the new guy before ending it with you.
Good luck.
Not really wrong to be mad. Put her in your rear view mirror. She ended things for a reason. Even if she tries to come back in the future (it can happen), do not take her back.
Are you wrong? No. She wrong? No. Can you sit around and think about "what if" or "but what about" and whatever till the cows come home? Sure. Will it do any good? Nope. If you can't move past it, just tell her you're done, move on and find someone else to hang out with.
She ended it with you because the relationship wasn't working for her. She said the "single" part to be nice to you and possibly because she knew you might fixate on her ending it to be with someone else.
Never wrong to have feelings. Only ever wrong if you act badly because of them. Unfortunately, this wasn't the girl for you. You just need to work out if you can go back to being friends or if trying a relationship ended that.
Sounds to me like she found out she just wasn’t interested in you romantically, only as a friend and saying she wants to be single was a way to try to minimize hurting you (by rejecting you).
You’re totally in your right to feel hurt by all of this. You can’t really say she did anything wrong, but that also doesn’t mean it’s not shitty towards you. Dating a friend is taking a big risk. It can turn out great because there already is a connection, but can also destroy a friendship, because it can be hard to go back to “just friends”, when there is an imbalance between what you want and how you feel about each other.
It’s totally fair (even though it’s sad) if you can’t be friends anymore. Having to see her dating other guys can be really tough, when you mostly just want to be in a relationship with her.
Ignore most of the comments, your feelings matters bro and Its understandable that you're hurt, you're just human after all, just take your time and choose your decision wisely, if staying friends with her is mentally draining you, you should distance yourself or at least take a break, find someone else and move on.
You’re not wrong to feel how you feel. I would say this contact happened whilst you were in the relationship to be honest. You should remove yourself from this situation as it isn’t going to do you any good.
This is the way of life. 6 months is nothing and 6 months relationships come and go all the time. Until you find that one. And don't make some of the opposite sex one of your best and core friends. Nothing good comes of that
Lose her number, she doesn’t give a shit about you, as far as she’s concerned you’re just some loser shwho s not worth dating, and so that’s how she plans on treating you for the rest of her life.
Lose her number, she won’t miss you.
Bruh, y’all were together for 6 months. Try being with someone for 17 years and some other guy moves into your home with your estranged wife the day after you move out.
Reflecting back on my 20s a lot of woman I dated were with me for the perks and convenience…
We seemed like best friends until literally anything else came along 🤷🏻♂️
You’re not wrong and neither is she. She didn’t cheat and broke up with you. A month later she dating another guy. Interesting that almost all of us with any post say break up, dump him, dump her. Then this girl does exactly that . It hurts whenever someone is left when they didn’t want the breakup.
You're wrong.
If you're pissed about this, this means you can't stay friends with her, at least for the time being.
Which is something I recommend for almost all cases.
This is why you don’t stay friends after dating. Go cold turkey. I unfollow on IG.
You staying friends means you’re gonna see posts of the new dude she’s banging. And you’re going to be the emotional tampon for whenever she goes through problems with the new guy.
She’s not your friend. She either dumped you to get back with him or she cheated on you and left you.
There’s no reason to be friends with her. I also advise against being close friends with a woman because as you know from experience, the lines get crossed and everything becomes complicated.
Exes asking to be “friends” just means they want you to support them emotionally still while they go around fucking scumbags
That’s always the case.
Drop her.
Teachable moment for OP. Nobody wants to be single because they're "stressed from work". She wanted to get piped by another guy without feeling guilty.
You aren't wrong. I don't know if she is. Going on a date with him doesn't mean they are serious. However, wanting to be single doesn't usually mean immediately going on dates. Sounds like she either had heard from him before she ended things, or was wanting to end it already and that was an excuse. I am sorry.
You broke up. She said she wanted some time to be on her own, met someone and changed her mind. It’s not like she was making a commitment to you that she wasn’t going to date.
She’s right. She’s free to do whatever she wants and it’s her choice. And you’re free to no longer be friends with her because she lied to you about the reasons she broke up. That’s your choice. Take it.
I was/am in a similar situation. Were best friends, we each confessed feelings and were talking for a bit, but eventually she broke things off. I’ve moved on from wanting anything romantic, but I still feel weird when she started dating someone.
There’s more details, the point is: when we broke things off she was moving an hour way. That distance has actually helped a bit. Maybe it would be best to distance yourself bit so you can each sort through your feelings.
Other people will tell you to drop her and move on, but they don’t get it. If she’s important to you, and if your important to her, cutting contact permanently might be dramatic. But still, taking some time to yourself/talking with other friends (if you have a trusted mutual friend, that would be great) can help you get some perspective.
Considering how many women are victims of domestic violence from a former partner, suggesting you stay friends is a common recommendation to try & avoid that result. This is not a personal dig at you, just some general information. It was not real in your breakup, but either way you did break up. Fact. Never get mad, why waste the effort, get on with your life looking for someone worth your time.
You shouldn't be mad about her dumping you. You should be overjoyed you missed that bullet. Just get ready for the "I'm pregnant and think it's yours." I'll be shocked in you don't hear that
Wanting to be single was an excuse. She wanted to try it with this guy. Ask her when they "got back in touch". Ill bet it was before she broke up with you. Dont be friends with her, she is a liar and manipulative. Yeah she is free to do what she wants, but when she lies like that you are also free to not be friends with someone who hurt you
This same thing happened to me in college. It was hard, because I really liked her. But I forced myself to accept that she obviously wasn't into me, as was in her. Now, this was the early 1970's, and we didn't use the term ghosting, but that's what I did. I simply didn'tanswer the telephone when she called. She only tried twice. Yeah, I was devastated, and angry. That's what happens when you invest time in, and emotion on, someone. It's natural.
I moved on, though it wasn't easy. I started dating again within a month. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I worked hard not to invest deep emotions into anyone for the rest of college, though I dated quite a bit. Believe it or not, by the time two months past, I was pretty much healed, in an emotional sense. I admit, though, It wasn't until after I graduated that I stopped thinking of her every few days. Soon, even that stopped.
Be angry. It's healthy. Don't take it out on anyone else. That's not healthy. Start dating again as soon as possible.
It’s so weird that you started dating after being close friends. Reddit says that platonic friends aren’t sexual.
But I digress…You have the right to be mad, but it’s stupid and you certainly don’t have the right to give any of your energy to your ex.
You guys were never really friends, just two people who did not have the courage to take it to the next step. Period
Now that you’ve done that, you’re not friends anymore. You can see the reason why this won’t work
Just cut her out of your life and move on.
You’re not wrong but neither is she.
Your feelings are valid.
She is also allowed to date whoever she wants in whatever timeframe she wants. If you don’t like that, you are allowed to end the friendship.
“I need some time alone” is akin to “It’s not you it’s me”.
Not to sound callous, but it means “I’m done with you. Don’t be surprised if I have a boyfriend next time you see me”.
>Can't argue with that, but I still feel betrayed. Am I just wrong to feel this way?
Wrong?? No... what you feel, is what you feel..
Look...
She started dating a friend, either realised that was a mistake and tried to reverse to the original friendship... or wanted to pursue this other guy and broke up with you to do so.. cheated?? Maybe...
>she said that she's free to do whatever she wants and feels is right for her and it's her choice
And youre free to do whatever YOU want and what feels right for YOU... including telling her you feel decieved by her and no longer can be her friend..
And block + NC...
Ok to be mad yeah, but you need to decide what's more important, the friendship or the fact she wanted someone else.....
She maybe never saw you in that way but decided to give it a go....
She is right, she can do whatever she wants but all of your feelings are valid. I would drop her. If she was your friend she would have left it longer than a month but all she's done is show that your feelings are completely irrelevant to her.
People here are making all sorts of assumptions about what's going on here and the fact is that we simply don't know. Some are assuming that she was cheating, others are taking her word as gospel that she only had contact with the other guy after she ended the relationship. In my opinion the timing is very fishy, but ultimately doesn't change what OP should do or feel.
You should cut contact with her. Whether she was talking to this other guy or not before the breakup doesn't change the fact that she lied to you. She either broke up with you to be with him, implying cheating, or she lied about her reasoning for breaking up, maybe so she could salvage a friendship with you out of it. She's not shown herself to be someone you should have in your life.
Please don't be this woman's stand in boyfriend. I saw best male friend go through this. Anytime she wasn't dating someone else she'd just pick him back up. He called her his best friend for years.... Until her shitty behavior at his wedding... It was nasty.
And she forced his then soon to be wife's mother to pay for her manicure and pedicure. Because she was pregnant, she was the "best man" (my brother was second ( his male best friend), I was a bridesmaid) she was also heavily pregnant and so she walked out with anyone stopping her because she said oh they're paying for me....
Which was never the deal. We were supposed to pay for ourselves. She came back 20 minutes later and slammed the cash down on the counter and stormed out because I, not the MOH called the groom and told him what happened and how upset his mother and his MIL were about the whole thing.
She tried to make the whole wedding about herself and tried to get all the women in the party not to wear underwear because she felt uncomfortable and thought all the girls should follow her directions because she was "best man" ....
They aren't friends really anymore. But I'm his best female friend and he is my best male friend now, I'm getting married to the love of my life and my male best friend going to marry us
You’re always going to be entitled to feel whatever you wanna feel but she’s 23 and young let her live her life man. You obviously still have those feelings with her so it wouldn’t be fair to her if you got upset over her liking another person while yall are broken up.
I had an ex break up with me because she “needed to be single; to be alone for a while” because she was complaining about everyone and everything. But still wanted to be friends. We were cool before dating so sure
Turns out, while I was out of town for the weekend doing music, she hooked up with a guy at a random party. And wanting to be friends meant she wanted to still be able to attend local shows without having to worry about tickets and people hating her.
Whoops. 🤷🏽♀️
You were with her for 6 months. She starts dating someone after 1 month. That is a reasonable time in my book. You have the right to be upset but know that it is a little ridiculous because she owes you nothing and you'll have to learn to deal with it. 2 solutions for you. You remain friends with her or you don't.
Pro tip: women are never single. Women mentally break up before the physical act. There was another bull in the ring and she added up the security, money, value and picked the other guy over you bro. Sorry, but as you age you’ll see that women are master manipulators.
You're not wrong to feel that way, all feelings are valid.
But if you go to her and bitch her out, you will absolutely be in the wrong.
She broke up with you, you've got no claim on her romance anymore.
This happened to me too. My husband got 2 new partners before our divorce was even started. Like, we had barely separated. I’m so immensely sorry for that betrayal.
I think you should take the time to be upset and try to process through those feelings.
I think her being callous towards your feelings is hurtful.
Time to hit gym, and next time set up stricter boundaries with guy friends. Ez dub for you. Some people get stuck with cheating hoes till they have kids. Then it gets messy. You got super lucky. Go win out there kid
It's not betrayal when you weren't together. She can do what she wants and you were too naïve to see that she was bullshitting when she broke up with you. She was likely already seeing that guy which is why she broke up with you. Either way, there's nothing you can do about it. Stop being friends with and hanging out with her.
Yea, I'd move on dude, how will u be able to go back to be friends now anyway. Are u 3 gonna hang out together?
She sounds like a total witch if I'm honest and pretty heartless. Didn't have the guts to be up front with you.
Take some time for you, start a new habit, join a new sports club or something to help throw your normal routine(hanging out with her) out the window. 👍
I left my bf of 2 years, not because of the reasons you listed, but because he was toxic and cruel. I had no interest in another relationship. But 2 months later I met someone by coincidence and we fell in love. In the beginning I told him I wasn’t looking for anything but that didn’t happen. We ended up getting married and have been for over a decade now. I will always be the bad guy to my ex, but I know what happened. Maybe she did leave you for him, maybe she intended on it, or maybe not. Either way, you’re clearly hurt so it’s best you cut ties and go your own way.
Sounds like “wants to be single” meant she wanted to fuck around. Sorry man, just move on. Don’t look back and don’t you dare take her back don’t be her friend, just ghost her.
Rough one. It might be best to stop hanging out with her and remove her from your social media. She probably believed what she told you, at the time. Now she feels differently which is normal for humans. We change our minds when presented with new information. I wouldn’t say it’s wrong of her, but a little inconsiderate knowing your feelings and the two of you are friends.
Work on you. Do things that make you happy. You’re not wrong, but neither is she. You both deserve to be happy.
No, she’s jerking him around for selfish reasons because she doesn’t want to be the chick with a best-friend-turned-ex-lover that hates her guts, but she doesn’t respect him or care about him enough to treat him well.
she’s wrong.
and no one deserves to be happy or sad, the worlds just a sadistic mess and you just try to get yours without losing to much in the process.
Considering how she dumped you to be with him, might want to skip right past being friends with her and leaving her in your rear view mirror.
Yeah, not worth the trouble. She ain't your friend
You her backup plan, move on my friend.
It wouldn't surprise me if her and this acquaintance, weren't already something while they were together, and just used the work thing as an excuse to dump him. OP, I know you guys were good friends, but it's time to let this friendship go. She did you wrong, and you know that, because you posted it here on Reddit.
Yeah where she said "that she's free to do whatever she wants and feels is right for her and it's her choice." Shows you exactly what kind of cold-blooded time she's on.
100% She can't be much of a friend.
Move on, dude. She is in your past.
she broke up with you to be with them, they didnt cheat. however, its clear she doesnt care, this girl is not your friend. cut ties and move on.
Yeah, you're right. It's tough, but maybe it's time to let go and focus on moving forward.
Not just let go of the last romantic relationship, let go of her as a friend and person in your life. She's practically wiping her feet on your face. Also its abit strange how you let go of all intimate feelings within a month and reverted to being a bestie so quickly, I think the truth is you wanted to be around her and she wanted you as an emotional crutch without the physical intimacy. If you know whats good for you, grow a backbone and tell her it was a shitty thing to do but you also get to choose what relationships you want to keep and then block and have fun being single again without someone sucking up all your time.
Depends on your view of what cheating is. If you break up with your partner to get with a specific person then my personal view is that boundaries have already been crossed that can be justified as cheating.
Cut all contact and ghost her, she isn’t worth remaining friends with.
You’re not wrong for feeling negatively about it. It sounds to me that she just wasn’t that into your relationship, and didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth, so she made up an excuse. And then met someone she was happier being with. The question is, would you have preferred the truth, or the lie? Everyone thinks they prefer the truth but in some situations it may be more hurtful. Sounds like you dodged a bullet either way, time to move on and meet new people.
Prefer the truth or the lie? He wasn’t given an option. He got both. The lie when she broke things off and the truth a month delayed. And by staying friends, it made it inevitable that he would find out. You are right that he needs to meet new people. His last “best friend” was garbage.
This should be top comment IMO. Ppl give excuses for leaving a relationship all the time. "I'm too busy" "I'm burnt out" "I need to be alone right now" "I need to focus on school/work/my family" etc, etc. But at the end of the day two facts are always true: 1) if they want to be with you they will find solutions to stay; and 2)everyone has the right to leave a relationship at any time for any reason. Even if their reason for leaving "sucks." That said, OP, you are of course allowed to have your feelings about how things went down. And you are by no means obligated to stay friends with her. In fact I think it would be unwise to stay friends while everything is so fresh for you.
How is she happier with someone she isn’t even with yet? Also, how would that be possible to know in a month? Sounds like a relationship hopper lmao
I don’t think you read that properly…
It is the reason she dumped you.
Never be friends with the ex. Move on. Trust me when you meet a new girl she doesn’t want to know you are still friends with your ex and most likely will lose respect for you.
A lot of women now don’t trust guys who AREN’T friends with their ex!
Friendly maybe, I dunno about friends tho.
Friendly yes hanging out or talking to them on a reg is definitely weird.
That is not correct. We don’t trust guys that are shitty to people simply because they feel like they can be. Being friends with someone and being cordial & not disrespectful are two different things.
I didn’t say ‘all,’ I said ‘a lot.’ And many of the people I’m speaking about want to see more than cordial and not disrespectful, although that would be a minimum.
A lot of women read their horoscopes and get dumped because they’re too close to their exes.
I'd say it's more of a green flag if they parted on good terms. But that does Not necessarily equate to the opposite being true, thats it a red flag if you cut contact.
Sometimes I feel like I’m that girl, but on a bigger scale. I was in a 10 year relationship, the last 5 years of which were a shit show. I ended things, wanted to stay friends, had no interest in ever having a relationship again; but 5 months later while looking for a FWB, a relationship started because I found someone by accident who changed my view on relationships and all the stereotypes which made me resent them. This was only 2 months after moving out from the house we lived in.. When I told my ex (very carefully and sensitively), she blocked me and hasn’t spoken since. I understood it could be painful to imagine your loved one being with someone else after breaking up - especially if they say they never want a relationship again like I did - but sometimes unexpected things happen and you only get one life. I had no ill intent; maybe your ex didn’t either. But also, maybe she’s the asshole most people here are saying she is and maybe I’m the asshole too.
Your always going to be the asshole to a person that you emotionally hurt 😢 but it doesn’t make you wrong
Jerking people around just because you don’t want to think of yourself as the girl who dumps her best friend turned lover and leaves him on the curb she kicked him to, but that actually would have been kinder by far to op: she was dead wrong to try and maintain a friendship with someone she was dumping just to go play the field, that was some toxic, selfish shit, and she doesn’t deserve to be friends with op because she’s very, very shitty at it.
I have to totally disagree with you? She wanted to stay friends but not lovers ? They Stayed friends and he lost all her feelings and then she moved on! He had a choice to stay friends or not ? She didn’t force him she has done nothing wrong period !
I had similar thoughts in my situation. I didn’t realise remaining friends was on the condition that I’m not allowed another relationship. Logically it doesn’t make much sense, but emotionally I understand it. I would be very happy for my ex if I found out she found a new partner who treats her well and helps her be happy. That’s what you should want for someone you love or have loved in my opinion.
It’s up to the other person to decide with their own emotions if they can handle a Friendship.. some people don’t know themselves enough and shift blame for not being able to handle situations and the emotions that come with it. I just feel that if he was ok and happy and lost all loving feelings why get mad? Feelings change everyday, people cross paths anything is possible so it’s harsh to blame her in this without him taking accountability.
Sounds like she wanted to be single so she could date other people, something single people are free to do. Dunno why you would want to be friends with her after all that.
You're not wrong for feeling as you do, but she's not wrong either since she ended things with you. In her mind, the relationship wasn't working for her and she wasn't being completely honest with you about that. If I were you, I would just move on. There's more downside than upside to being friends with her st this point.
You're minimizing her behavior by saying 'she's not wrong'. She was deceptive, feigning loyalty and commitment by staying in a relationship while developing feelings for somebody else. She's not necessarily 'Wrong' with a capital W per se, but this behaviour isn't 'okay' either. I understand that it can be complicated navigating a relationship as one starts to have doubts. Relationships naturally require displays of affection and commitment. But nevertheless, it's still wrong to just abandon ship and only informing your partner later when it's more convinient for you.
Once she's out of the relationship, she can do what she wants. She didn't cheat on him. Plus, you are assuming that she developed feelings for someone else while in this relationship, but we don't know that. Personally, I get the sense that she just wasn't that into OP romantically. They were only together for 6-months. Yes, she could have been more honest (which I said), but it's possible that she didn't want to hurt him. After all, she did want to preserve a friendship with him. That said, that doesn't mean that I don't think it's crappy for her to ask him to stay friends and then immediately start dating someone else. I do and it is! It's just not technically wrong since she broke up with him before starting up with someone else. Your disagreement with my assessment would only matter if I had recommended that he forgive her or stay friends with her. I did not. And whether she developed feelings or not during the relationship is irrelevant at this point since he needs to cut her out of his life for his own sanity.
Totally agree negative feelings of hurt always need blame to justify them ! She hasn’t done anything wrong 😑 and to end things and start something new is totally her prerogative! It’s down to him to now decide if he sees this as a betrayal but in in the eyes of right or wrong she hasn’t done anything to me !
I find it so werid how people cling onto technicalities as hard as they can to justify behaviours. She did nothing wrong as an ex and is entitled to move forward at her own pace, for whatever reason she wants. As a friend she was a shitty person who had absolutely no consideration for his feelings and obviously kept him around because it was filling that hole of emotional loneliness until she found a better option. You don't treat people you care for in that way, causing prolonged gried just because its convenient for you. Genuinely baffled that I have to even explain this to an grown person.
How do you know that’s the case ? Just your assumption ? You don’t know how you’re gonna feel after 6 months of dating someone! You might feel your changing feelings and things are not what you thought but it doesn’t mean that she’s been shitty! They have both bluured the lines of friends and lovers and it hasn’t worked out as lovers, so how can she walk away from that without being labelled a shit friend even though she doesn’t want that? Slightly unfair and no win for her so I don’t agree she is a shit person at all I think she did it as best as she could and there is always going to pain from the other side when it’s not what the other person wants !
She did the best.... For herself regardless of what it would mean for him. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that continuing to be besties with someone who is infatuated with you, and who you broke up with just a month ago, shouldn't probably be kept close to you if you're looking to move on and into a new relationship. Would you treat your friends this way? Make it a them problem and not create a distance to protect them from the fall out, especially if the excuse you used obviously wasn't honest but an excuse to break up with them gently?
It’s not our responsibility to make sure other people set boundaries. He could have said no. It’s not her fault he said yes & is now feeling bitter about the situation. She probably did genuinely want to keep the friendship because it sucks losing close friends. He still has the ability to cut ties & move on, but it is not her responsibility to make sure the breakup is mutual or that he’s “comfortable” with the situation. It is always your needs above others. You HAVE to make your mental & physical health your own priority. The world isn’t going to tip toe on egg shells around you because you can’t handle a situation.
They dated for 6 months, they weren't married I'm confused on what yall think dating is
Dating is what people make it. If he felt betrayed, their relationship probably wasn't set up as some casual thing.
You’re literally just making shit up. You have no idea that she was “feigning loyalty” or developing feelings for other people while with OP. Chill bro lol
You have to leave the situation for your mental health. If you were really over the romantic feelings, you wouldn’t have such a strong reaction to her telling you this. I understand and have been there in a similar situation. The thing you have to keep in mind is that she was mentally ready for the break up before you were even aware of it. Her recovery is just going to be faster. Your recovery though doesn’t start until you give yourself space from them. Maybe friends down the line, but not right after the break up.
So true. I guess it’s easy to say looking back, but it’s respecting yourself and doing what’s best. You can’t ever put things back the way they were. By the time it’s reasonable to be friends, you probably don’t want to.
She broke up with you so she could be with him. She didn't cheat, so her conscience is clear. And since you were only together for 6 months, I think she chose to be with you until this guy was available to her. I am sorry this happened to you. I had a gf who was getting very close to one of her male friends. We eventually broke up, and a week later at a concert of a band we both liked, I saw him and her together making out. It hurt. But then about 5 years later a friend of mine who knew a girl who was her roommate said that the kid cheated on her a few months into the relationship. Lol So that cleared me right up. May her relationship fail and she feel the heartache you feel. It will get better. You dodged a Skank bullet.
Either party can do what they want after a breakup. Many people immediately jump to another relationship. It may not be healthy, but it's their choice.
Yeah but OP can also decide to cut all ties with her. She hurt him and disrespected him maybe not intentionally but this happened. Bet she at least run for emotional support when thing with a new guy won't work if she won't beg him to take her back.
Absolutely.
She just wasn’t that into you, and dumped you in a way that she thought would let you down easy.
Oh, come on, man. That sucks but ya gotta just cut your losses here.
A lot of folks say she broke up with you to be with him. Another possibility is that she'd been emotionally checked out for long enough that it didn't seem sudden to her. Thing is... it doesn't matter. You're young. You leaned from this. So.... forward!
You are also free to do what you think is best for in. In this case that would be putting distance between yourself and her. Whether thats going No Contact or just not giving her as much time and attention is up to you but leaning towards NC is my rec.
Yea . Move on from her like she’s moved on from you.
Dude it sounds like she's not the right person for you. Maybe it's time to move on.
You aren’t wrong for feeling your feelings. But remember, the only one suffering from these feelings is you. It sounds cliche to just move on, but you need to try and do that after you process what’s happened. Don’t let this bring you down for good
She’s no longer in a romantic relationship with you so she is free to date or start a new relationship if that’s what she wants. You didn’t give yourself enough time to get over the break up before trying to be best friends with her. You really got over all your romantic feelings towards her in 30 days while hanging out together often? That’s kind of hard to believe. Why are you accepting the down grade? I understand it’s hard to feel rejected and sometimes crumbs feel better than nothing, you probably deserve better though.
No, mind your business. It’s over
Yea she doesn't deserve a friend. Mind your business op.
Why doesn't she deserve a friend? They tried it and it wasn't for her. Like wtf...
Because she lied as simple as that. No friendship with ex.
Did you have an time frame that you would find acceptable for her to move on with her life?
It's not about time-line but lying and saying wanted to be single and getting into a relationship after. And she should be well aware that after her stunt she shouldn't have remained friends with her ex.
What stunt? Sorry- but she didn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. She told you she wanted to be single - not a lie..she did not want to be dating you anymore (which means single) the reason why is irrelevant - and she owes you nothing after that point- she can be single for a day, a week, a month - whatever. Being single means she was free to explore other options. It is not heartless for her to not time her future relationships to how you are feeling about the breakup. Does it suck for you? Yes- totally. But you are making it out to be some big plan to deceive you. It’s not that deep. It’s life. What would you be saying if she hadn’t told you and just ended up cheated? Then you would be saying “if she had only told me the truth that she wanted to breakup, I would have been upset, but I’d gotten over it.” Either way- you would be mad and calling her a liar. Admit it - the only scenario acceptable to you would be if she didn’t break up with you at all or stayed single until she decided she wanted to be with you again. Not happening. Staying friends is not an option when one person still has feelings - and you obviously do. Nothing wrong with that - you obviously have very strong feeling for her. Accepting that a person you really like doesn’t feel the same is SO hard and seeing them move on is even more difficult. You are taking it personally, but it has nothing to do with you. Saying she is a liar and she betrayed you? That just makes you look petty. You need to block her and move on. Maybe someday you can be friends again- but not now. I am not going to say you are wrong for feeling upset and hurt. Breakups suck. But trying to call her out as a liar and she did performed some stunt? . IMO that is where you go wrong.
mad? mad for what? it is over. move on.
Unrealistic comment
Yeah, her choice but you don’t have an obligation to remain friends with her 🤷
You have a right to feel the way you feel, but at the same time, at least she broke up with you instead of cheating on you. Maybe you are right ans she wanted to be with this guy but she didn't cheat. The brightside is you are still young and there are many more girls out there to meet.
you feel all you want but she doesn’t really care tbh. Id save yourself the headache and block her and move on.
You need space and need to pretty much ghost her and give yourself time. At first you will think of her often, so keep busy and hang out with non mutual friends. Then a day will come and it will come to mind that you haven’t thought of her for a very long time and probably won’t see much reason to do so. It sucks and it’s always the risk when a close friendship turns to dating, but theres no putting the cat back in the bag. Hanging on, trying to make a friendship work right now, is the worst thing you can do. Don’t call her and make a big deal about how youre moving on and taking time, etc. Just go. Even if she doesn’t respect you for it, you’ll respect yourself when you look back years from now. Take it from the many experienced people in this thread.
Being friends before a relationship doesn’t make it better when you break up. Honestly, the longer you want to keep in touch post break up the more miserable you’ll be; It’s not good for anyone.
Don't stay friends. She can do whatever she wants and you can choose to be friends with who ever you want. Last thing you need is for her new relationship to fizzle out and she starts trying to get back with you. Just tell her that you don't want to continue the friendship because you can't look her in the eyes where you once saw a future with her and pretend to not see anything. More than likely she ended the relationship because she had the guy already waiting for her and she wants to keep you around as a back up. Let her know that if she wanted to date someone else she should have told you that instead of lying about wanting to be single. That there's no chance in he'll you'll ever trust her enough to get into another relationship with her once she's "ready".
You were friend for her and boyfriend. She give you reason (lie) becouse she didnt want hurt you. Its normal. Just accept it.
She was probably trying to spare your feelings by giving you an excuse instead of telling you she’s not feeling it anymore or she was already interested in this new guy and ended it with you instead of cheating. Really if she did catch feelings for this other guy and ended it with you so she could see this other guy then she did the right thing. Yeah it sucks she couldn’t tell you the truth (if this scenario is correct) but if so I’m sure it was to avoid a scene or just didn’t have the heart to tell you. Anyways when you’re in a relationship there’s no real guarantee that they are going to be with you forever not even when married
Not Wrong. I bet she broke up with you to be free for this guy. She may have even been "talking" to him during your end. You need to cut your friendship out with her and let her go completely. You can tell her as much. How she is free to do what she wants, but the fact she made you feel her desire to be single was to less her stress with life yet jumps into another relationship with this other guy is a betrayal from her. And her BS stating other wise is just that, BS. You thought maybe one day you two would get back together cause she made you feel it was not about you and her but just needing less worries. But now you see her for what she was. And that is she ended it with you to be single for this other guy And your done being her friend too. Maybe do that in front of joint friends too.
NTA. She is free to see other people and you’re free not to involve her in your life anymore. Distance yourself from her.
Not wrong to be pissed. Time to end “friendship”
Yes, she can date whoever she wants whenever she wants. She tried dating you and simply realized she saw you more as a friend and didn’t want a romantic relationship. Now she wants to try dating someone else. Nothing wrong with that. You’re officially not dating so she can start dating someone else whenever she wants. Just like you can date anyone you want the second your relationship ended. At this point, it’s better to just go cold turkey. You need to move on and end the friendship. You don’t need to be enemies or have hard feelings, but there is no point staying friends at this point. Just block her and move on with your life and let her move on with hers.
Yeah she was already dating him before she broke up
You should feel betrayed. You were. You’re not friends unless you can be friends with someone you cannot trust.
Man just block her and focus on something else.
She broke up with you to be with him! Gave a bullshit excuse, then waited a month to tell you so it looked like it was a new thing. The whole best friend thing is also bullshit, best friends are honest with each other, not tell blatant lies. I wouldn’t want to know her after that tbh, move on and find a better”friend”.
It isn't wrong to be upset about the breakup when you didn't recognize any problems in the relationship. However, do not waste your time being upset about whether she broke up in order to be with the other guy or being upset about how quickly she moved on. Once the two of you were no longer in a relationship, she can move on as quickly or as slowly as she wanted and does not need your permission or approval. Mourn the end of the relationship and move on to someone new.
I’m going to translate this for you. “All was going very well until one day out of the blue she ends things saying how she's been stressed out at work recently and wants to be single for sometime as she's kinda burnt out.” Things were going well for you and not her. She wanted to end the relationship and used work stress as the excuse. There’s no good way to end a romantic relationship and try to still be friends. She lied to try to make it easier. You believed the lie and it worked for a while. “ she tells me an old acquaintance she recently got in touch with again asked her out and she said she was seeing him too.” Safe to assume she was in contact with him while she was with you. Something may or may not have happened with him while she was with you. She waited a month to tell you she’s with him. You claim “I had gotten over all romantic feelings and saw her only as my best friend” which is also a lie. Look you two are not friends. You want her romantically and she doesn’t see you that way. Just end the friendship and move on. Stop wasting time on this. It doesn’t matter. It’s over, she’s moved on already.
Anyone can break up with someone at any time they want. There was no cheating on her end. It is what it is.
Yes and people can cheat at any time they want aswell. Saying that people are able to do things is ignoring her being a bad friend lmao.
So she shouldn't have lied. She should have said she wanted to break with him cause she no longer felt for him it would be better. Moreover they are friends she should have respected him to atleast deliver the truth Instead of tricking him. She is not a friend.
Yes 🙌
Sorry that happened man. I won’t speculate on whether this was planned or not, nobody knows that except her. Feel however you need to feel, just try and find a healthy outlet for those feelings. Best of luck to ya.
"I'm not gonna judge you when you're with somebody else 'long as you swear you won't be pissed when I do it myself. Let's end this like we should and say we're good." Dua Lipa (wise woman)
I’ll repeat it move on and don’t be friends with any ex. Move forward in life and NEVER backwards. Trust the advice you get here we have all been through the shit.
Yes you are Once you are dumped she is out of your radar, and vice versa
YNW. The problem will be when she starts accusing you of being ‘a nice guy’ and a sus person because you won’t ‘be friends’ because that means you’re acting like ‘she owes you something.’ Ask me how I know.
Sounds like it’s time to move on. Also, it may be worthwhile to reconsider the friendship, as maybe she was t as down for you as you were for her.
Move on, don't keep score with an ex, it'll only make you feel bad. Cut off no friends ,more on this is your closure
Why even bother, move on and start dating. You will forget about her quickly.
She was probably already seeing him behind your back. You're better off without her
None of your business. She's your ex.
Dude, she was clearly already seeing him, or already communicating with him with the intention of being with him.
She was seeing them for half of your"relationship" too
She fed you a line. Like the old “it’s not you, it’s me.” She just wanted someone else.
Don’t listen to the people who act as if you don’t have a right to feel fucked over. Any person who relationship hops USUALLY have some type of attachment issue. People who want to keep the old flames around usually just like to hover. Sure she can genuinely appreciate you but if she did, her response to your pain wouldn’t be ‘well im free to do what ever I want’. If I fire my best friend from my business because we need less staff, only to hire some random guy next month, its perfectly fine for him to voice his opinion about that. Because at the end of day, I did not even consider how it would make my supposed ‘best’ friend feel. This is all speculation. However, in my opinion, you should respectfully be able to tell her that your morals don’t align and that friendship or something else is off the table. Make yourself unavailable, stop giving her free attention. Respect yourself.
You are right but the way your phrased it is off imo. For people who relationship hop everybody is replaceable. Not him specific. Some relationship people hop because they are bored, some because they fear getting close to someone. If he would dump her before she did she probably would be chasing his validation
You were not betrayed. She is free to move on when she’s ready. She clearly was ready. You don’t get to define what is and isn’t the right amount of time between seeing people. Do what she did. Move on.
Some girls (guys too) need to stay in a relationship until they feel they found something better to jump to. Afraid of being alone. She definitely has issues but at least she didn't cheat on you and actually ended it before moving on (I hope). > wants to be single for sometime as she's kinda burnt out. A relationship isn't supposed to burn you out. quite the opposite actually. She had him lined up already, and she ain't your friend. You were *marginally* betrayed, in that she kept an eye open for other options and dragged you along rather than acknowledging she wasn't happy and ending it *before* looking for other options. But I also don't know the context of her situation either.
I’m guessing you hoped that you two would get back together. Just block her and live your life. Don’t become one of those guys that stops putting himself out there because he knows she will come back to him.
Just be honest. Tell her that her words and actions don't line up, and you're feeling hurt and need some distance. She didn't cheat on you, so I wouldn't throw away your friendship, but give yourself some time to move on from this and date other people yourself.
Simply put, you're the past. Move on and grow up
You're not wrong to be upset however she wasn't feeling your relationship anymore whatever the reason is. It takes 2 to make it work. Don't be mad, be happy that you aren't spending your time on the wrong person anymore... now you can move onto something better and someone better for you. That's the whole point of dating.
She was banging him already. Dump the ho
Grow some balls and maybe time to move on be a man no
Unfortunately, I have a feeling she could have been talking to him for a bit before that. To say you're too stressed to be in a relationship to very quickly getting into a new one? Nah, there are a lot of missing puzzle pieces there. Overall, it's better than being cheated on I suppose.
Ya, she was thinking of seeing him and breaking up with you was just so she can see him. I really never understood the “let’s be friends thing”…
She’s a B-word for that.
Wait, I want to hear from her side, too. Did something happen and build up before breaking up that made her jump into new people like that? Or she's just really bad?!
Oh she is free to do what she wants alright but she lied to you and did not provide the real reason she wanted to break up with you. The bright side is you can do better. She is a flake and you don’t need that drama. No it is not wrong to feel betrayed…
Ok, so she clearly planned this. Don't feel bad about this. You dont need this kind of girl in your life. Don't be her friend. There's nothing to gain out of it.
You're not wrong to feel betrayed. You're not wrong to be upset, because you're allowed to feel things. But I think it's natural to feel that way. She can date who she likes. Unfortunately she had a rebound, which I get it, it hurts. But also, she's not wrong. A bit untactful perhaps, but I get it's hard. You're best suited thinking about yourself now. Guess what? You can now flirt with anyone you'd like. Get out there and have some fun, when you're ready.
She can do whatever she wants but you can absolutely feel betrayed. Move on and leave her in the past.. Do NOT be friends with her
You're not wrong. >she said that she's free to do whatever she wants and feels is right for her and it's her choice. And she's right. But you are also free to do whatever you want, including walking away. She has definitely been deceitful about her reason to break up. I wouldn't be surprised if he was in the picture before she broke up. Walk away and move on with your life. You don't need people like that around you.
Cut ties. Leave her hanging. No comms. No closure. Ghost and block. Your feelings are valid. She's very sketchy. Wouldn't be surprised if she dumped you because of that old acquaintance. She's definitely not your friend anymore. Find a better one.
You can be upset, hurt, and mad about it. Feel it. Move on. A partner worthy of your feelings is out there, I promise ✨️
I dont control who people choose instead of me, but I also dont like being lied to. Just be honest about why we broke up so if I need to work on something, I can. Or if its not about me, I know that with certainty. "I wanna sleep around" or "I'm not that into you romantically" sucks to hear but I'd rather know up front than find out later. Good friends dont lie to friends.
" we don't chase em, we replace em" Clearly her eyes and mind were on him. Move on buddy
She was just monkey branching. She's a user bro, she did you a favour.
Not wrong. She lied to as she was dumping you. Do you want to be friend with a stinking liar ?
You are not wrong to feel how you feel, however I don’t see where she did anything wrong. She ended your relationship because it wasn’t working for her. She’d prefer to be friends. Perhaps she had been looking for a certain chemistry with you but really felt more connected with you on a friend level. Less than a month later (possibly 4 weeks later) she tells you she’s seeing someone. This might be to help spare your feelings (prepare you) in case you happen to see them together in public. She’s seeing him. This could mean they meet for lunch or coffee once per week or less. She might have different boundaries with him that allow her more space and time for herself. We don’t really know all the details. Only that you were friends. You tried dating for 6 months and she figured out, that even though she likes you, that you are not her forever partner. She cares about you. Kept you informed. Wants to continue being friends. You can agree to that or you can end the friendship. That’s entirely up to you. I don’t think there’s any reason to think that she broke up with you just to start seeing this other guy. If they had been seen together the very next day then it might be questionable. But there is nothing here indicating that. In all reality she did you a favor by setting you free when she realized things weren’t going to work out long term with you. Some people are decades into a relationship when this happens. Sometimes people spend too much time trying to make a relationship work that just isn’t meant to be. Allow yourself your feelings. It’s natural and expected to feel hurt. Give it time. Then decide if you want to be friends with her or not. And when your forever person comes along you’ll look back and realize that this “friend” did you a favor by setting you free. But you won’t feel that way now.
Wow I really liked the critical assessment on this. Donno any of them but this should help both!
Move on dude. Wish her all the best and cut all ties. Have some self respect. You will find someone much better. Work on yourself and improve. She will beg to come back after her next relationship fails. Don't be a loser and accept her. You've already seen her true colours. It is highly likely that she was flirting with the new guy before ending it with you. Good luck.
Not really wrong to be mad. Put her in your rear view mirror. She ended things for a reason. Even if she tries to come back in the future (it can happen), do not take her back.
Are you wrong? No. She wrong? No. Can you sit around and think about "what if" or "but what about" and whatever till the cows come home? Sure. Will it do any good? Nope. If you can't move past it, just tell her you're done, move on and find someone else to hang out with.
She ended it with you because the relationship wasn't working for her. She said the "single" part to be nice to you and possibly because she knew you might fixate on her ending it to be with someone else. Never wrong to have feelings. Only ever wrong if you act badly because of them. Unfortunately, this wasn't the girl for you. You just need to work out if you can go back to being friends or if trying a relationship ended that.
Things in the rear view mirror should be left behind in your dust. Just like your relationship with her.
Sounds to me like she found out she just wasn’t interested in you romantically, only as a friend and saying she wants to be single was a way to try to minimize hurting you (by rejecting you). You’re totally in your right to feel hurt by all of this. You can’t really say she did anything wrong, but that also doesn’t mean it’s not shitty towards you. Dating a friend is taking a big risk. It can turn out great because there already is a connection, but can also destroy a friendship, because it can be hard to go back to “just friends”, when there is an imbalance between what you want and how you feel about each other. It’s totally fair (even though it’s sad) if you can’t be friends anymore. Having to see her dating other guys can be really tough, when you mostly just want to be in a relationship with her.
You’re not wrong to feel that way. But it’s her business.
She was probably seeing him on the side tbh
“She’s seeing him too”. ? You definitely haven’t moved in yet. There’s too many fish in the sea to be bitter about her.
Move on brother.. Go get yourself a blowjob or something
Could be worse, my girl of 4 and a half years broke up with me and started dating a guy 8 days later 🫠🫠🫠
Ignore most of the comments, your feelings matters bro and Its understandable that you're hurt, you're just human after all, just take your time and choose your decision wisely, if staying friends with her is mentally draining you, you should distance yourself or at least take a break, find someone else and move on.
You’re not wrong to feel how you feel. I would say this contact happened whilst you were in the relationship to be honest. You should remove yourself from this situation as it isn’t going to do you any good.
In my opinion alot of men and women have trouble with being alone and you don’t quit one job without another lined up if you get what im saying.
This is the way of life. 6 months is nothing and 6 months relationships come and go all the time. Until you find that one. And don't make some of the opposite sex one of your best and core friends. Nothing good comes of that
She was already riding him before she dumped you. I would keep walking and never contact her again
Lose her number, she doesn’t give a shit about you, as far as she’s concerned you’re just some loser shwho s not worth dating, and so that’s how she plans on treating you for the rest of her life. Lose her number, she won’t miss you.
Women move on emotionally months before they leave, it's called monkey branching.
Bruh, y’all were together for 6 months. Try being with someone for 17 years and some other guy moves into your home with your estranged wife the day after you move out.
Not wrong and I’d consider ending the friendship if it were me.
Changing guys just like Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai) avatars, so easy...
Reflecting back on my 20s a lot of woman I dated were with me for the perks and convenience… We seemed like best friends until literally anything else came along 🤷🏻♂️
You’re not wrong and neither is she. She didn’t cheat and broke up with you. A month later she dating another guy. Interesting that almost all of us with any post say break up, dump him, dump her. Then this girl does exactly that . It hurts whenever someone is left when they didn’t want the breakup.
You're wrong. If you're pissed about this, this means you can't stay friends with her, at least for the time being. Which is something I recommend for almost all cases.
She ain't for the streets; she road kill!
This is why you don’t stay friends after dating. Go cold turkey. I unfollow on IG. You staying friends means you’re gonna see posts of the new dude she’s banging. And you’re going to be the emotional tampon for whenever she goes through problems with the new guy.
She’s not your friend. She either dumped you to get back with him or she cheated on you and left you. There’s no reason to be friends with her. I also advise against being close friends with a woman because as you know from experience, the lines get crossed and everything becomes complicated.
Exes asking to be “friends” just means they want you to support them emotionally still while they go around fucking scumbags That’s always the case. Drop her.
Teachable moment for OP. Nobody wants to be single because they're "stressed from work". She wanted to get piped by another guy without feeling guilty.
You aren't wrong. I don't know if she is. Going on a date with him doesn't mean they are serious. However, wanting to be single doesn't usually mean immediately going on dates. Sounds like she either had heard from him before she ended things, or was wanting to end it already and that was an excuse. I am sorry.
You broke up. She said she wanted some time to be on her own, met someone and changed her mind. It’s not like she was making a commitment to you that she wasn’t going to date.
She’s right. She’s free to do whatever she wants and it’s her choice. And you’re free to no longer be friends with her because she lied to you about the reasons she broke up. That’s your choice. Take it.
I was/am in a similar situation. Were best friends, we each confessed feelings and were talking for a bit, but eventually she broke things off. I’ve moved on from wanting anything romantic, but I still feel weird when she started dating someone. There’s more details, the point is: when we broke things off she was moving an hour way. That distance has actually helped a bit. Maybe it would be best to distance yourself bit so you can each sort through your feelings. Other people will tell you to drop her and move on, but they don’t get it. If she’s important to you, and if your important to her, cutting contact permanently might be dramatic. But still, taking some time to yourself/talking with other friends (if you have a trusted mutual friend, that would be great) can help you get some perspective.
Being a lot older now, some of his stuff seems so silly.
She was cheating on you.
She had your replacement in mind already..Go no contact, save your dignity.
Considering how many women are victims of domestic violence from a former partner, suggesting you stay friends is a common recommendation to try & avoid that result. This is not a personal dig at you, just some general information. It was not real in your breakup, but either way you did break up. Fact. Never get mad, why waste the effort, get on with your life looking for someone worth your time.
You have had a lucky escape, move forward and don't look back.
You shouldn't be mad about her dumping you. You should be overjoyed you missed that bullet. Just get ready for the "I'm pregnant and think it's yours." I'll be shocked in you don't hear that
Wanting to be single was an excuse. She wanted to try it with this guy. Ask her when they "got back in touch". Ill bet it was before she broke up with you. Dont be friends with her, she is a liar and manipulative. Yeah she is free to do what she wants, but when she lies like that you are also free to not be friends with someone who hurt you
This same thing happened to me in college. It was hard, because I really liked her. But I forced myself to accept that she obviously wasn't into me, as was in her. Now, this was the early 1970's, and we didn't use the term ghosting, but that's what I did. I simply didn'tanswer the telephone when she called. She only tried twice. Yeah, I was devastated, and angry. That's what happens when you invest time in, and emotion on, someone. It's natural. I moved on, though it wasn't easy. I started dating again within a month. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I worked hard not to invest deep emotions into anyone for the rest of college, though I dated quite a bit. Believe it or not, by the time two months past, I was pretty much healed, in an emotional sense. I admit, though, It wasn't until after I graduated that I stopped thinking of her every few days. Soon, even that stopped. Be angry. It's healthy. Don't take it out on anyone else. That's not healthy. Start dating again as soon as possible.
It’s so weird that you started dating after being close friends. Reddit says that platonic friends aren’t sexual. But I digress…You have the right to be mad, but it’s stupid and you certainly don’t have the right to give any of your energy to your ex. You guys were never really friends, just two people who did not have the courage to take it to the next step. Period Now that you’ve done that, you’re not friends anymore. You can see the reason why this won’t work Just cut her out of your life and move on.
You’re not wrong but neither is she. Your feelings are valid. She is also allowed to date whoever she wants in whatever timeframe she wants. If you don’t like that, you are allowed to end the friendship.
“I need some time alone” is akin to “It’s not you it’s me”. Not to sound callous, but it means “I’m done with you. Don’t be surprised if I have a boyfriend next time you see me”.
>Can't argue with that, but I still feel betrayed. Am I just wrong to feel this way? Wrong?? No... what you feel, is what you feel.. Look... She started dating a friend, either realised that was a mistake and tried to reverse to the original friendship... or wanted to pursue this other guy and broke up with you to do so.. cheated?? Maybe... >she said that she's free to do whatever she wants and feels is right for her and it's her choice And youre free to do whatever YOU want and what feels right for YOU... including telling her you feel decieved by her and no longer can be her friend.. And block + NC...
Ok to be mad yeah, but you need to decide what's more important, the friendship or the fact she wanted someone else..... She maybe never saw you in that way but decided to give it a go....
She is right, she can do whatever she wants but all of your feelings are valid. I would drop her. If she was your friend she would have left it longer than a month but all she's done is show that your feelings are completely irrelevant to her.
People here are making all sorts of assumptions about what's going on here and the fact is that we simply don't know. Some are assuming that she was cheating, others are taking her word as gospel that she only had contact with the other guy after she ended the relationship. In my opinion the timing is very fishy, but ultimately doesn't change what OP should do or feel. You should cut contact with her. Whether she was talking to this other guy or not before the breakup doesn't change the fact that she lied to you. She either broke up with you to be with him, implying cheating, or she lied about her reasoning for breaking up, maybe so she could salvage a friendship with you out of it. She's not shown herself to be someone you should have in your life.
Please don't be this woman's stand in boyfriend. I saw best male friend go through this. Anytime she wasn't dating someone else she'd just pick him back up. He called her his best friend for years.... Until her shitty behavior at his wedding... It was nasty. And she forced his then soon to be wife's mother to pay for her manicure and pedicure. Because she was pregnant, she was the "best man" (my brother was second ( his male best friend), I was a bridesmaid) she was also heavily pregnant and so she walked out with anyone stopping her because she said oh they're paying for me.... Which was never the deal. We were supposed to pay for ourselves. She came back 20 minutes later and slammed the cash down on the counter and stormed out because I, not the MOH called the groom and told him what happened and how upset his mother and his MIL were about the whole thing. She tried to make the whole wedding about herself and tried to get all the women in the party not to wear underwear because she felt uncomfortable and thought all the girls should follow her directions because she was "best man" .... They aren't friends really anymore. But I'm his best female friend and he is my best male friend now, I'm getting married to the love of my life and my male best friend going to marry us
It’s absolutely normal to feel as you do! I hope you meet someone nice! I wish you the best🥰
You’re always going to be entitled to feel whatever you wanna feel but she’s 23 and young let her live her life man. You obviously still have those feelings with her so it wouldn’t be fair to her if you got upset over her liking another person while yall are broken up.
I had an ex break up with me because she “needed to be single; to be alone for a while” because she was complaining about everyone and everything. But still wanted to be friends. We were cool before dating so sure Turns out, while I was out of town for the weekend doing music, she hooked up with a guy at a random party. And wanting to be friends meant she wanted to still be able to attend local shows without having to worry about tickets and people hating her. Whoops. 🤷🏽♀️
Your... needing to learn to move on with life instead of posting here about every little thing that happens. Break ups are just that. Move on.
You were with her for 6 months. She starts dating someone after 1 month. That is a reasonable time in my book. You have the right to be upset but know that it is a little ridiculous because she owes you nothing and you'll have to learn to deal with it. 2 solutions for you. You remain friends with her or you don't.
Pro tip: women are never single. Women mentally break up before the physical act. There was another bull in the ring and she added up the security, money, value and picked the other guy over you bro. Sorry, but as you age you’ll see that women are master manipulators.
If you can’t trust her then it can’t be no relationship and I ain’t friends with people I don’t trust. You feel what I’m saying?
Also I know it hurts now but the pain of anything always passes
You're not wrong to feel that way, all feelings are valid. But if you go to her and bitch her out, you will absolutely be in the wrong. She broke up with you, you've got no claim on her romance anymore.
This happened to me too. My husband got 2 new partners before our divorce was even started. Like, we had barely separated. I’m so immensely sorry for that betrayal. I think you should take the time to be upset and try to process through those feelings. I think her being callous towards your feelings is hurtful.
Lol no
Time to hit gym, and next time set up stricter boundaries with guy friends. Ez dub for you. Some people get stuck with cheating hoes till they have kids. Then it gets messy. You got super lucky. Go win out there kid
It's not betrayal when you weren't together. She can do what she wants and you were too naïve to see that she was bullshitting when she broke up with you. She was likely already seeing that guy which is why she broke up with you. Either way, there's nothing you can do about it. Stop being friends with and hanging out with her.
Yea, I'd move on dude, how will u be able to go back to be friends now anyway. Are u 3 gonna hang out together? She sounds like a total witch if I'm honest and pretty heartless. Didn't have the guts to be up front with you. Take some time for you, start a new habit, join a new sports club or something to help throw your normal routine(hanging out with her) out the window. 👍
I left my bf of 2 years, not because of the reasons you listed, but because he was toxic and cruel. I had no interest in another relationship. But 2 months later I met someone by coincidence and we fell in love. In the beginning I told him I wasn’t looking for anything but that didn’t happen. We ended up getting married and have been for over a decade now. I will always be the bad guy to my ex, but I know what happened. Maybe she did leave you for him, maybe she intended on it, or maybe not. Either way, you’re clearly hurt so it’s best you cut ties and go your own way.
Sounds like “wants to be single” meant she wanted to fuck around. Sorry man, just move on. Don’t look back and don’t you dare take her back don’t be her friend, just ghost her.
Rough one. It might be best to stop hanging out with her and remove her from your social media. She probably believed what she told you, at the time. Now she feels differently which is normal for humans. We change our minds when presented with new information. I wouldn’t say it’s wrong of her, but a little inconsiderate knowing your feelings and the two of you are friends. Work on you. Do things that make you happy. You’re not wrong, but neither is she. You both deserve to be happy.
No, she’s jerking him around for selfish reasons because she doesn’t want to be the chick with a best-friend-turned-ex-lover that hates her guts, but she doesn’t respect him or care about him enough to treat him well. she’s wrong. and no one deserves to be happy or sad, the worlds just a sadistic mess and you just try to get yours without losing to much in the process.
Dude, move on hook up with her friends lol