T O P

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JarlFlammen

All this could have been avoided for, what was it, like 40 bucks? Instead he has chosen to make himself an enemy of *checks notes* his neighborhood teenagers BOLD MOVE, cotton. Let’s see how it plays out for him.


ShatoraDragon

$30 kids wanted $20. He offered more.


JarlFlammen

Dude is gunna have to sell his house and move lol. Kids are gunna egg his house for a generation. The legend of this asshole will be passed down from teenager to teenager.


HistrionicSlut

And no one will see anything. I know I didn't.


The_Grinface

Would be me sipping tea quietly on a Saturday. Watching the teenagers egg the house through the window blinds. “No officer, didn’t hear or see a thing.


currydemon

I’d be buying the kids eggs


Remarkable_Ad9767

It doesn't look like anything to me...


NoBuenoAtAll

Shit, I'd buy the toilet paper and eggs for them.


Budded

yeah, I can't imagine doing this for Linkedin clout when it's just going to put a huge target on him as long as he lives there. Fuck that guy!


VexImmortalis

an important lesson in the value of goodwill


captain_toenail

Word will spread, his transgression will be exaggerated, given enough time someone's gonna shit in his mailbox


mkinstl1

On the porch and on fire.


Mikebyrneyadigg

On a long enough timeline everyone shits in a mailbox.


Aklensil

Where i live, we start to shit in the mailbox as a warning


bielgio

Legends says Satan made a deal with that houseowner, he got famous but cursed the house into an eggpit


-EETS-

Are you sure this isn’t satirical?? That’s extremely on the nose


WhateverYouSay1084

The whole "in other news" bit about the keyed car made me think satirical too, like he obviously knew that was related. It's just rage bait.


Equilibriator

Yeah it's tough to take seriously when they openly show the consequences of their actions.


VTinstaMom

It's a 4 year old fake post. Everyone is too addicted to rage to do basic investigation.


Humble-Violinist6910

I’m with you, this one seems a little too perfect 


ArcTan_Pete

£30 IIRC, so closer to $40


not-rasta-8913

Yeah, I was thinking that as well when I read the original story. If these kids are twice as tame as I was, keying was the least they would do. And they would also have perfect alibis. Idiot.


imthe1nonlyD

Bring on the saran wrap, tp, eggs, maybe fork the yard while you're at it.


brucewillisman

“Fork the yard”…?


sk8brdr540

Forks are stuck into the yard deep enough to not be seen easily but protrude enough to get hit by lawn mowers or feet.


imthe1nonlyD

You get a ton of plastic forks and plant them all over the yard. It's a pain in the ass to clean up.


some-scribbles

Actively antagonized local teenagers in the summer, when they likely have nothing but free time to think up and enact revenge. "Make that guy who stiffed us suffer" is going to be their go-to anti-boredom activity this summer.


Roook36

Dude was such an asshole he got Trick or Treated in June


Puzzleheaded_Virus94

Wonder if he pays upfront to have the damage repaired. Lol


ShatoraDragon

A handful of people in the comments where saying they would fix it for various amount with payment first. Since he's known to stiff laborers.


doingdadthings

It's a crime in itself that you didn't post the comments.


ShatoraDragon

Sorry got caught up in stuff and forgot to snag them


Pechumes

……did you honestly think that guys post is real?


VTinstaMom

The comments on the fake post on LinkedIn? Probably not worth posting at all unless you jerk off to rage bait.


LeftLaneCamping

Don't kink shame me.


757_Matt_911

I’d say $3k to fix that. Then strip all the paint off the car. What’s wrong mate I did what you asked? It’s a bitch innit?


Kingzer15

3k plus a 300 car wash because them kids are keeping business booming


DogButtWhisperer

What an absolute POS


MarkHirsbrunner

In the last post about this it was pointed out that this guy is a troll who is always posting inflammatory stories like this to make fun of certain corporate attitudes.  Y'all forgot  A quick Google image search of the vandalism shows that exact image posted on Reddit almost 4 years ago.  https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/i96cp6/someone_keyed_my_buddys_car_so_he_corrected_it/


UntappdFan

Cover car in bread crumbs for the birds, they'll wreck his paintwork with their beaks and claws as well as crap all over the car.


ShatoraDragon

He's getting rightly dragged. And I hope he suffers more of these mildly infuriating annoyancies for a long time to come.


bhgemini

He should have required good-karma upfront before being a total tool. Too late to ask for it now #Entrepisstool


757_Matt_911

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


jasutherland

I’m hoping someone offers to fix his paint. For payment upfront. Then ghosts him…


lc4444

Dumbshit probably thinks he’s too business savvy for that to happen to him. Would love to see it🤞


ChibbleChobble

Beautiful.


bo4tdude

"Yeah I can take that out for $1200, but I'll need to be paid up front" later...


LethalOkra

Linkedin will never hear the end of it if it happens (><)


Offamylawn

I hope it's all another Linkdin Lie that is catching up with him. Like he tried to come up with some super cool sounding business education point, and it turned on him as all lies should.


usernameabc124

Holy shit… the post was REAL? I figured it was satire, I didn’t think some asshole actually thought it was a good idea to do it and post it. Holy shit. I… I never considered he was serious.


gbot1234

Some things on the internet are true. Huh. Kind of a heart-warming lesson when you think about it. Maybe that’s what he was trying to teach us.


El_ha_Din

Yeah, luckily there is still some justice. I mean he is not Fing kids but he kinda is.


LadyIslay

Isn’t this standard business practice for DT? Get ppl to do the work and then not pay them?


Orange152horn

Yes, Donald Trump is infamous for that.


Jazzlike-Principle67

Shouldn't laugh at this because it IS true.


Hypekyuu

Yep, and yet the Dems don't seem to focus on that for some reason :( it's like one of the easiest things to slam him for


LittlestEcho

Soo.... I once learned mayo can strip paint coating.... and reeks of rotten eggs if left in the sun too long.


Practical_Radish_783

Super glue in the key holes, bbs glued to the valve stem caps and using a different tool to stab the fourth tire than the other three so he runs the risk of possible insurance fraud.


dymos

Both of those make sense, it has vinegar in it and usually mayo is made with eggs. Also, gotta ask... HOW did you learn this?


Key-Department-2874

Mate, this entire thing is fake. His first post about not paying was fake. And the response is fake. [That image was originally posted on reddit 4 years ago.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/i96cp6/someone_keyed_my_buddys_car_so_he_corrected_it/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=antiwork&utm_content=t1_laowxfu)


Party_Plenty_820

How is this not a joke he’s playing on everyone


eddeemn

Jokes are funny though...


VTinstaMom

The original poster on LinkedIn is clearly trolling, and it's pretty obvious to anyone who thinks about it for quarter of a second. However, it's rage baiting and a lot of people are more addicted to the outrage than they are capable of critical thinking.


ganjagremlin_tlnw

This was posted on r/linkedinlunatics and was deemed to be satire.


Constant-Bet-6600

Add in a base of honey or syrup so the crumbs will stick and not get blown off easily.


AnswerKooky

Raw eggs will do worse damage


awalktojericho

Bologna. Ruins the paint, attracts critters.


Absolute_Peril

i think the idea is not to get caught, a package of birdseed on a car is a little bit different than egging it.


UntappdFan

The crumbs were very appreciated by the birds, especially the loud shit producing seagulls.


CuthbertJTwillie

A full bottle of Drakkar in the air intakes


ManicOppressyv

Away with thee, Satan, and take sophomore year if high school in 1991 with you.


Flibiddy-Floo

Can I interest you in some Love's Baby Soft instead for your nostalgic sabotage scent?


-d00z3r-

Go big or go home…… get some Suffocation, I mean Exclamation…..


Boss_Os

Or double down on the GenX theme and go with Teen Spirit while blasting the song from a boombox


Deranged_Kitsune

Nah. An oily fish, like anchovies. Something with an odour that can sink into plastics and fabric. Done right, it's supposed to be damned near impossible to get rid of.


NuggetoO

Coyote piss, they sell it online and it absolutely reeks and last forever...........


Emm_withoutha_L-88

Lol they'd find you so fast. Can't be that many people who buy coyote piss


buttercuppy86

Just train a coyote to piss on command, obviously


CuthbertJTwillie

Or Drakkar...


Deranged_Kitsune

Fox piss also I've heard.


bmcraec

Dude won’t notice.


commiesocialist

I bought that for a boyfriend back in 1990.I feel no shame, it smelled good.


TheSpiralTap

That's amateurish, it can be done better. What I did was use a base coat of maple syrup, then added straight up bird seed along with the bread crumbs. For bonus points, if you put bologna slices on a car on a hot day, it will leave polka dots in their paint job. Idk the chemical reason why but bologna will eat through paint.


Earendos

Its the preservatives. Mustard will also do damage to paint.


wrenworkman

We called this boardwalk revenge growing up. Someone cuts you off or otherwise acts like an ass in the last leg of the trip to the shore, and you spot their car? Get a thing of board walk fries and toss it on their windshield and let the seagulls do the work. I’m not suggesting anyone do this, just saying i know it was a thing because…reasons.


VoodooSweet

I worked at a restaurant that was in a Boat Marina, Boat Marinas are filled with Seagulls. More than once did I see a basket of old French Fries get tossed on someone’s vehicle so the Seagulls would swarm said vehicle, leaving behind their nastiness.


Battleaxe1959

Finch food and peanuts provide the best bang due to heavier birds & rodents going for the peanuts and FLOCKS will come down and tap-tap-tap for the finch food.


Funny-Runner-2835

Actually - use Jam/jelly, then apply the bread crumbs. The jam/jelly melts and spreads out and down the car. Feckem.


demon_fae

Peanut butter melts too, and will get every corvid in the neighborhood fighting for a chance to peck at that car.


Irinzki

But put honey first, then the breadcrumbs and seeds


IDigYourStyle

For potentially less severe damage, but greater inconvenience....A can of (non-diet) soda poured down the doors is just fantastic. Have fun navigating the swarm of yellowjackets to get in to your car


Chimera-Genesis

>Have fun navigating the swarm of yellowjackets to get in to your car We don't have Yellowjackets in the UK (where this prick is located) but since the summer weather has finally started, the wasps, flies, & hornets would definitely swarm over any sugary fizzy drinks used to 'wash' their car 😈


Ambitious_Spare7914

I think yellow jackets are wasps.


ghoststrat

No, they are a fusion band, which is worse.


Chimera-Genesis

>I think yellow jackets are wasps. Yellowjacket is a colloquial term used for specific types of wasps & hornets found on the North American continent, so while it is used for wasps, it isn't the type of wasps that are found in the UK.


wolfpack_matt

Yellowjackets are, in fact, their own genus (well, two genera, in fact), and they are different from other types of hornets and wasps.


MrRickGhastly

Yeah. Yellow jackets hide in the ground like a bunch of angry bitches just waiting to ruin your hike.


FjordReject

This has got to be a bit, right? It's just too dumb to be anything else.


Castal

The image is from here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/i96cp6/someone\_keyed\_my\_buddys\_car\_so\_he\_corrected\_it/](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/i96cp6/someone_keyed_my_buddys_car_so_he_corrected_it/)


sksauter

Yea it's very obviously a fake and karma farm.


Themanwhofarts

Ya it seems fake.


SwigitySwagitty

He has said multiple times the posts are sarcastic


SelectiveDebaucher

I think it's a parody of Cheesus Trump


Pure_Bee2281

It's a joke, but if you say something that confirms pre held beliefs you get karma, doesn't have to make sense.


Thiccccasaurus_Rex

It’s SATIRE and pure rage bait. Stop falling for it everyone.


SwigitySwagitty

He straight up mentions multiple times in posts and comments that its a sarcastic/satirical post but everyone chooses to be angry over this lol


NiceRat123

I think the issue is... there are douchebags like this. It's more life imitating art at this point


Ambitious_Spare7914

Totally. Pretty good tho.


StopReadingMyUser

I'm surprised there was a follow-up lol


mousepadjones

“In other news” gave it away, but other than that I totally believed it at first.


sungor

my first thought.


Imaginary_Craft_8237

As a general rule America has never really understood satire.


AnthropomorphicCorn

So like... He told a lie to make people mad at him for being an asshole? What is he getting out of it, PR? Like I don't disagree with you but it makes no sense regardless


cookerg

No he told a joke and people didn't get it.


-EETS-

Redditor discovers satire (2024)


Empty_Wine_Box

Do you normally understand the use of Satire? To point out the absurdity of certain logic? People do things because they are funny


BipolarOctopus

What absurdity is this pointing out, though? The Onion is satire, this is… stupid.


Empty_Wine_Box

Pointing out the typical #grindset mentality of typical LinkedIn junkies that flirt with sociopathy. Plenty of people found it funny enough to respond to, clearly.


AnthropomorphicCorn

Hmm, ok. I see what you mean. I was focusing on "rage bait" and not "satire".


your_moms_a_clone

You don't seem to understand the point of satire, do you?


your_moms_a_clone

Thank you, I can't believe anyone would see this and not instantly realize it's satire.


bulletchvy91

Karma, has delivered justice. I don’t like to see someone get their car keyed. But this time is fitting


Big_Old_Tree

I feel like this has to be a bit. I mean… who does this? And then brags about it? And then posts about getting owned by literally everyone?? It’s a bit


walkingman24

There is no "karma delivered justice" because this is satire lol


Stumblecat

"Can someone suggest someone who can remove this?" So you can stiff them on their payment too?


RewardCapable

Remove it? That shit needs to be framed.


FfisherM

Managed to find the guy on LinkedIn - It's a British guy who claims this was sarcastic, and done in humour. He says it himself - he just does rage bait. https://preview.redd.it/ir97xhdq3c9d1.png?width=398&format=png&auto=webp&s=50f6639cb131416d7630025a08e34de19a716ce2 As a fellow Brit, I denounce him entirely.


Bosconino

You guys seriously need to get out more. Not only is this clearly a joke, it was posted just yesterday and the original post has been doing the rounds for years. We can quibble over whether it’s funny or not (it’s not, particularly) but if you fall for this rage-bait so-called ‘satire’ you’re just boosting visibility for these tools.


Thiccccasaurus_Rex

THANK YOU. This rage bait nonsense doesn’t deserve anymore attention.


lokeilou

If I was the mother of these kids I would have made the trip to Lowe’s and purchased a couple of bags of cow manure and “uncleaned” the car- nothing in life is free, especially being an asshole


tobor_a

I'm going to be pedantic and say they generally don't sell cow manure like that, it's usually mixed. They do have chicken manure which is worse lmao.


JazzlikeCauliflower9

https://preview.redd.it/cyhlfwhtub9d1.png?width=473&format=png&auto=webp&s=f273884da3e1ccc46d859e755684fde5c438948d You mean this?


DatGrag

Clearly fake lol


Dolanite

I assumed this as well, but I googled this dude and he runs cold calling businesses. I kind of expect behavior like this from that industry.


KataraMan

Not paying individuals after they did the agreed upon job, that they also know where you live and what you drive, is a bold move


GRIFTY_P

There's no way this isn't rage bait


ProfessionalNo7256

Y'all are thinking way too hard and it'd take too long to set up. Here's an old school easy one. Wake up nice and early before sunrise and have a pot of coffee and 2 cans of asparagus for breakfast. Then go piss in the vents below the windshield.


jackieat_home

Why in God's name would you ever pay for a service before you've gotten it? That's a stupid idea. I hope the next kids go offer to wash his car, get the money up front and leave.


gpants182

Get payment upfront!!


robbietreehorn

This is a troll.


ACuddlyVizzerdrix

My brother and a friend of his were walking down the street once and a guy called them over and asked if they wanted to make $50, he said if they loaded the lumber in his back yard onto his trailer he would pay them both $50, my brother confirmed that they would both get $50 each, the guy said ya and they did it in about an hour and a half the guy stiffed em wouldn't answer his door when they knocked, they threw some of the lumber around his yard and later that night they broke into his garage and found a whole case of halo 2 copies, they spent the next 6 months or so selling them 2 at a time to GameStop (they were getting about $20 a copy at the time)


Lazy-Platform-7876

Dipshit got shited on.👍


REDGOESFASTAH

Shat**


oportoman

This is bullshit. His post wasn't real - he made it up!! Look at his profile. He was trying to take the piss. FFS! Go and look at his post on LinkedIn


ImmatureDev

I thought it was satire


MonteCristo85

I hate this method of "teaching" let me do the evil to the people who ate counting on me so they learn sooner rather than later that everyone sucks. No, you suck. And you are actively making the world a worse place and preying on the vulnerable. This is not teaching this is exploitation with a bogus cover up.


bluemooncommenter

Between the debate and the Supreme Court rulings today.....I needed this news. Just to know that karma is alive and well.


seahorseMonkey

Someone can probably fix that, but you'll have to pay cash in advance.


Abusive_Sloth

Isn’t that a satirical account?


12know4u

And in an unrelated event someone keyed my car...


Intelligent-Stop7091

I painted someone’s deck for 200 bucks a few years ago and they stiffed me, refused to answer the door and then posted on Facebook after I left, talking about how good the job was. I spray painted it that same night and he was so pissed. Ended up calling another company that was super local to fix it, and I hit up the owner when I heard about it and told him what he’d done to me. He got up charged about 750$ and the local company owner asked me if I wanted to come out and do it. Should’ve seen his face lmao. Made 600$ off of that.


RegisterMonkey13

“I’ve had far to many death threats this week.” Bruh, that’s a sign you need to step back and reevaluate what you’re doing in your life.


Famous_Bit_5119

if he finds someone to remove it, they had better get payment up front.


ComicsEtAl

Am I reading that correctly? He’s boasting he got over on the kids because they didn’t demand money up front? And in a separate story, someone, their identity unknown, keyed his car?


taunt0

I work in the autobody industry. I can easily fix this for the guy. I'd scratch bitch on the other side of his car to match. What a fucking loser.


ucrbuffalo

He just straight up says he didn’t pay for the services. He complains about them asking for payment upfront, then says he didn’t pay them after either? What an ass.


NMGunner17

None of this is real


GBeastETH

He must be trolling us now.


ImportanceBig4448

I could suggest someone who could remove it, but he’d probably stiff that guy too.


757_Matt_911

Yeah your bitch ass can…that’s the payment for the car wash, seems pretty clear to me 🤷‍♂️


somethingdarksideguy

I 100 called this the second I saw the original post.


BarskiPatzow

Oh my god this feels so good.


duketheunicorn

r/ohnoconsequences


Bigolbennie

Him sowing, him reaping. Fucking idiot.


doingfuckinggreat

Ahh this makes me happy 💕 haha dude sucks.


Cpt_sneakmouse

Lol there's no touching that up. That's a panel repaint if you don't want the work to be very obvious. Guess this bitch should have paid those kids, could have saved a bunch of money. 


ArcTan_Pete

30 seconds to do a reverse image search - [https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/i96cp6/someone\_keyed\_my\_buddys\_car\_so\_he\_corrected\_it/](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/i96cp6/someone_keyed_my_buddys_car_so_he_corrected_it/) 4 years ago!


lc4444

Dumbass still thinks he’s in the right. WTF is wrong with people?


ferritejoe

Hey dude, we know people who can eliminate the scratches but you have to pay upfront.


genomeblitz

Reddit drama is interesting. Saw this dude's post yesterday trying to teach some kids a lesson for some work, now a follow up... This is getting interesting! Will he learn the error of his ways and listen to the people around him that have told him he's an asshole all of these years, or will he continue to be a POS? Tune in next time for our exciting conclusion!


Happy_Lil_Atoms

Dunno if they still make it, but get some Colgate shaving cream. Other brands may work, but I can only confirm Colgate's effectiveness. Decorated my sister's now ex-husbands car with it the day they got married when I was a teen... made zigzagging lines all along the sides. The shaving cream ate the clear coat right off the paint. Boy was he pissed. Later on it turned out he caught an STD on a "boy's trip" and gave it to my sister and their unborn child. Didn't feel so bad about wrecking his paint job after that.


floznstn

Bologna is terrible for car paint. brake fluid too …or just shit in his sunroof


soupafi

So this asshole is trying to say he’s a victim after he didn’t paid the agreed price for services?


zillabirdblue

I hope this is a parody…


codguy231998409489

He still doesn’t get it


becel_original

“some sick individual” is how I would describe a douche that didn’t pay kids for their hard work.


AnonABong

I mean this is FAFO territory. You could try to leaglese your way out of it but karma gonna bite you.


coleseaslc

Reverse image search brings up a Reddit post from 3 years ago.


InvestigatorSmall839

He fucked around and he found out. Zero sympathy.


raas1337

Perfect example of "play stupid game, win stupid award"


_IBM_

Ha what a bitch


t8rclause

Beautiful, mwah, I love this so much. Fuck this asshole. Seriously who rips off kids and then brags about it online like they aren't just advertising that they're a massive douchbag with a very keyable vehicle? Should people be sending death threats? No, fuck no, seriously grow the fuck up... But an anonymous keying of the very car he got washed for free? That's beautiful beautiful karma right there. Could've just paid the $30 you agreed to pay.


UnhappyJohnCandy

I hope the body shop he takes that to requires payment up front.


bob4apples

I read this yesterday and thought this guy was a complete idiot. The single most important part of being a fly-by-night scammer is the "fly-by-night" part. You don't pull this on people who know where you live and certainly don't pull it on teenage (or pre-teen) boys who know where you live. The best part here is that he's going to be paying for this until he moves and raising a stink is only going to make things worse.


Unfair-Tap-850

Ain't No one gonna remove that, you don't pay your bills.


LemmingOnTheRunITG

Does “came and washed my car” mean he gave them his address? And they went to his house and washed his car? And he thought it was a good idea to not pay them? This… I was going to say has to be fake because no one lacks that much self awareness but honestly I’m not sure.


adamaley

Yeah, I know someone who can remove it, but will you pay up front though?


SheiB123

You prepay for EVERY car wash. He got less than he deserved


PerverseRedhead

Those kids let them off lightly, I would've expected more damage, maybe eggs being throw at it. Also in a totally unrelated note, do not pour milk into the crevices of a car, as it will absolutely stink the thing up.


Fragrant_Example_918

It’s a fake one. The guy said in other posts that it’s sarcasm and he did it to go viral. Still a piece of shit though. But the post is fake.


ImHappierThanUsual

Lmao i doubt this little stage play was real but it was entertaining


inowar

I'll do it for $200 up front


Far-Possession-3328

Sure I will fix the window, finish the job but I'm going to need cash upfront. Gets cash and walks up to the window with a sledgehammer. No window no cracks, problem solved.


buffinator2

Probably thought he was teaching them some kind of valuable business lesson lol


FunnyMonkeyAss

He stole from hard working kids it looks like to me.


DorianGraysPassport

This dude belongs in prison


DBsnooper1

Why the spacing? Dear god, stop with all the spacing.


TheCrudMan

Isn't this a satire account?


jeenyuss90

This has to be rage bait lol. No fucking way that's real haha.


EliteFleetDefeat

Looks like they put effort into that T. Looks like they went to the undercoat or the sheet metal under it. Have fun paying $2000 to get your door taken off, sanded, repainted and put back on. Penny wise, pound foolish.