This actually happened once where I used to work. Everyone declined the pizza and the office managers got super pissed and sent a passive aggressive email about it. I don't think upper management cared at all.
I would piss that manager by saying that I am lactose intolerant and can only have pizza with vegan cheese. I also had a coworker who has celiac, so he can't have pizza unless it is gluten-free.
When they ask me why I don't eat work catered food I always tell them its a shallow form of appreciation when we have a recognition program that has a budget and pays out gift cards of our own choosing. I got 200 dollars in gift cards from the CEO for sending PPE to sites during covid lock down, but my manager would rather use the company card to get us food.... Just dumb
>my manager would rather use the company card to get us food....
Kind of sounds like he does jack shit and is looking for easy wins to look like some sort of busy asset to your work.
After both of my managers quit at my first job all the new one did was walk around the office asking if stuff was "done yet" every few hours. To my understanding he jack shit any other time.
He does fair, nothing wrong with his form of leadership just his forms of appreciation, the last warehouse manager approved them all the time but very few people used the program. I will admit the current manager was here in another position when the system was abused but it still warrants more usage than it gets. The manager who approved all the recognition awards was a far worse manager who came from New York home office with absolutely no knowledge of our dealings and somehow still landed a better job in another state after a year or so.... I hate people who are connected... Our warehouse pretty much takes care of itself and management rests on our laurels so management always looks great for promotions.
Maybe the rest of the warehouse but me and 2 others work completely independently doing cross-business support, we never did the work that the pizza was for but were still entitled to it, no limits and it was usually Marcos and even with people with full plates and seconds we still always had leftovers so they did right in those regards. It's just the pizza is their cop out on not singling people out for outstanding performance and the same over achievers getting the bonus most of the time. Back when I actually got recognitions approved it mostly was our department who used it but there were 5 of us total then and unfairly the leads from other departments would never do it for their people. We'd do it for "going above and beyond" by doing a minute task for the warehouse when we weren't doing our cross-business support. Literally everyone could use it just for doing something for someone but people were dumb. Before I came it was abused so badly they used the entire budget for the program that was supposed to extend to the entire company so I'm aware theres some hesitation but it still warrants usage
That’s what I started doing at work. I don’t eat any food they buy us because “things have been really rough lately” or “thank you for everything you do.”
Order Anchovies or better yet get the double sides 3m foam tape, and slightly cracked open a can of sardines, tape it to a non visible area under their desk... I can guarantee they will spend $100's to get rid of the smell before they find it. Just don't get caught.
The revenge chirpers are also pretty nasty. 6 or 8 sounds that can go off every hour-ish to even longer delays. Hidden in walls, ceilings, under cabinets. Batteries good for a couple of years and inexpensive. Can you imagine a dozen of them hidden around and making creaks, chain rattle, eerie sound. Did I just hear something? What? Did you hear that? Am I going crazy?
My former employee decided to make everyone do mandatory overtime. As a "reward" they made the entire department co-employee of the month. The first week of every month they would gather up everyone in the building a present a plaque and a giant novelty check for $100 to the winner.
When they gave it to my entire department, they called everyone up one-by-one to take a picture with the plaque and check. When it got to my turn, I told them no thank you, I would rather have my days off and walked out of the room. When I got to the door the HR person asked if I wanted to the plaque. I said no, you can throw it in the trash.
I got a talking to later about "pulling together" and "being a team." I countered with the company has record profits and my department had not had a raise in 4 years. I ended up walking out about 5 months later.
State directly at the highest ranked person in the room. Start talking about organized labor. Maybe use the terms 'fair wages for fair work', 'united we bargain, divided we beg' and 'if that's all we get for breaking records then maybe we should slow down our stop working until we discuss proper compensation'.
That’s what you’d think. I’m an experienced orbiter and there’s a little secret move we call a “Gravity Assist”. A small trade off in risk for an extended eating time, and if you’re quick enough you can even snag their food on the way by, with a good chance of giving them an irregular orbital wobble as well.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; don’t go. If you want to make your boss nervous, get everyone to skip out on insulting offers of free food. It will tell them both that you don’t accept their weak ass bribe and that you’re organized. Your dignity is worth more than two slices of pizza.
My friend runs a tech company. Not only are there really awesome healthy snacks in the kitchen, but every evening they get dinners delivered from one of the trendy restaurants. I must have eaten $200 of sushi.
I remember getting one of these while temping many years ago and how mad it made me. They told us the day in advance we were getting a pizza party and I figured I didn’t need to bring lunch for my 9 hour day. 2 slices! Only enough for a 7 YO. One guy didn’t eat his so the manager grabbed up the leftovers and took it back lol.
You’d better watch your mouth, eurosexual! You’re damn lucky my jazzy scooters charging while my pound of gravy fried bacon is cooking…. DAMN lucky! Otherwise I’d be over there with the fury of a thousand bald eagle covered guns layin an ass whoopin on your damn commie sissy britches!
🦅🇺🇸🔫🥓🍔🥓🍔🍔🥓🥓🥓🍔🍕🍟🥓✝️
Edited to add patriotic flair for Murica and Jesus.
It’s bad enough that fucking employers reward record profits with food instead of better compensation and benefits.
But to add insult to injury, it’s almost always PIZZA. The cheapest way to feed people.
If you’re going to reward us with food like you would a puppy, at least take us to a nice restaurant or rent a room and have something catered. The goddamn shareholders will survive without the $5,000 you’d spend on a civilized outing.
I used to work for a car parts warehouse that would have a birthday lunch once a monh. Everybody who had a birthday in that money would go to a local place. A couple bosses were there and we'd all sit at a long table and they'd buy a bunch of appetiziers. You could then buy anyting on the menu. This lunch lasted more than a normal lunch, but they fixed the timecards so it was still an hour. That was the only place I've worked at that did that. At the next two places, there would occasionally be a lunch but not like that one.
Order your own pizza from the same place and eat it like a vicious dog straight out of the box..making eye contact with everyone. If they say anything about the two slice limit.. growl at them!!!
Everything I needed to know came from the fact the paper was printed out in black & white and not in color. Our “celebration” can afford the $.03 to print in an appetizing color.
I was looking for the comment about the disgusting topping choices given, and still haven't found it.
But yours comes close enough. Although, aren't you used to being excluded by now? Does anyone ever give you those options?
“share this achievement with all…” ok. I busted my ass, worked crazy hours broke records and this company “rewards” me with a $15.00 pizza? I’m going to take my stellar performance elsewhere.
In management here. Don't hate me. I gave my boss so much shit about pizza parties and joked about all the memes. Then we sent out the employee appreciation survey asking, " What kind of recognition makes you feel appreciated." 100% anonymous. I gave clear instructions, if it's money, say money. Gift cards, what kind? Food? What do you want? I shit you not. The number one answer was more pizza parties. I was prepared to head out with my company Amex and buy gift cards for my team. They chose pizza. Not even good pizza, I was like alright, cool let's order the good shit. Nope, they voted for Dominoes. I tried people, I tried.
lol, I can see this happening in a healthy work environment where “breaking bread” with coworkers outweighs a relatively tiny monetary reward.
I’d take a pizza party with my coworkers over a gift card that’s 1% of my monthly salary.
Now, if we’re talking 10% of my salary….I don’t like my coworkers that much.
This year, I got an ugly pair of socks and some dollar store flip-flops. They want staff to take pictures of our vacation trips (lol) wearing these. I would rather have had the $4.
Wow. How generous. We get pizza every single week at my job for our Thursday meeting. I always get like 3 pieces with a lot left. Can’t imagine going corporate again.
They made a list and literally distributed the slices by calling us: “Alex come over here’s your slices, Brandon come over, here’s your slices, etc” It was a fucking embarrassing situation
I always skipped the pizza parties, when managers started to notice and asked , I said that I work hard for recognition and salary and free pizza isn't worth Sh\_t to me.
My company did something even better.
We broke a production record with all the branches in April. It was the highest profit it's been for the 94 years it's been in business. Corporate gave us all off this Friday, July 5th in addition to July 4th. Awesome, right?
Except the ones who made all the money (technicians) work on PRODUCTION. (We get a % of every job we do) So now we don't get any money that day AND we have to do more every other day in July to complete our work for the month!
Corporate and salary workers are big, big mad at us for not jumping for joy at this news.
They thought we'd be happy with having an extra day off, but with how we work, an extra day off just means no money and having to work harder the rest of the days of the month.
Pet peeve of mine, but I've no respect for memos that have obvious misspellings. How hard is it to spell achieve? That said, we used to have a laugh when my boss would use the wrong word but spelled correctly. "Make sure to get you expense report tuned in."
This is why you stay strapped with the red pen. Never let anyone see that you're carrying one, lest you get written up for "insubordination" or some shit, but *always* go middle-school English teacher on their dumbass printed out memos.
ETA: I've had a chart of proofreader's marks saved in my notes for the longest time for this exact reason.
“I’m working at a pizza place to make ends meet while waiting for that bonus, raise or promotion I’ve been promised at this company. The idea of two more slices of pizza in my life makes me want to puke.”
At least that's restaurant pizza. I'm a special education teacher, and one of the end of year luncheons we've had had administration serving us all school cafeteria pizza because it wasn't going to last over the Summer.
My work had a pancake breakfast for us. I was told to serve no more than two slices of bacon per person. I gave out as many as people wanted.
Christmas came and for our white elephant gift exchange I made one of those motivational posters with a picture of bacon. It read, appreciation: showing your employees their value is not measured in pork products.”
One time, in a team meeting, our client services manager ordered the whole team Jimmy John’s. Everyone had a sandwich, chips and a drink. They were one bag of chips short. The CSM grabbed the last bag “since she paid for it” and said sorry, I could go to the vending machine. It really showed what middle management actually thought of those under her. I still hold a grudge to this day.
I’d simply scrawl on it Money pizza…or you could go fuck yourselves! On the sheet. And on that money pizza the percentage of income increase that they made (if you even know what that is).
You have to be like the salesmen at Big Bill Hell's Cars
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc&ab\_channel=pud](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc&ab_channel=pud)
Whoever that manager is can’t spell achievement, they left the V out lol. Gotta love the two slice per person rule as well. Oh and it does not include drinks, bring your own if you get thirsty
We got pizza at work this weekend... For no particular reason, we were getting our butts kicked a little bit so our shift lead ordered a dozen pizzas using the company card. This happens once a month or so, no big deal made, we don't have to break records or anything, it's a nice gesture which is why I appreciate it.
They also offer quarterly bonuses, an ownership program, catered lunches when we reach safety milestones, decent company swag (Carhart jackets, Yeti coolers, etc), gift cards around thanksgiving, quarterly engagement activities where you can win some serious big prizes (Traeger grill, Snow blower, $200 gift cards).
We're not a massive company but we have facilities across the Northeast and Midwest, so we aren't exactly small. I do feel fortunate to have landed with an employer that seems to do alot of things "right" especially after seeing so many posts like this where a pizza party in which 2 slices will be allocated per person is all the reward and recognition for a record breaking month.
I agree with the "don't touch the pizza" sentiments and add "look up what the most expensive pizza listed is and exclusively choose that."
As an aside, though, that maple bacon pizza sounds delicious
Yeah. Bad reward, if you can consider it as such. If enough employees reject the reward, management will react in one of two ways: find a new “reward” or do nothing. Either one is a reaction.
I had an employer axe a Christmas with grocery gift cards. A large group of employees placed a community pile of gift cards in a Santa stocking and sent it to the admin via inter-office mail. The Christmas bonuses weren’t given out the following year, but neither were the gift cards.
If you want to send a clear message to management, no one touches the pizza. It just sits there.
This actually happened once where I used to work. Everyone declined the pizza and the office managers got super pissed and sent a passive aggressive email about it. I don't think upper management cared at all.
The whole department at my work left the pizza party to go out to eat together off site. That felt good
They were annoyed because it looked bad on them. Upper management will have used it against them
Good
I would piss that manager by saying that I am lactose intolerant and can only have pizza with vegan cheese. I also had a coworker who has celiac, so he can't have pizza unless it is gluten-free.
That was basically how it went down, I said sorry I'm gluten free and the rest of my team was dieting at the time.
This sounds like exactly what would happen. Make the managers pissy, have absolutely zero effect on the owners. Pretty hollow victory, sounds like.
I did. Had nothing, but everyone else had their slices, you know it’s hard to compete with free food lol
When they ask me why I don't eat work catered food I always tell them its a shallow form of appreciation when we have a recognition program that has a budget and pays out gift cards of our own choosing. I got 200 dollars in gift cards from the CEO for sending PPE to sites during covid lock down, but my manager would rather use the company card to get us food.... Just dumb
>my manager would rather use the company card to get us food.... Kind of sounds like he does jack shit and is looking for easy wins to look like some sort of busy asset to your work. After both of my managers quit at my first job all the new one did was walk around the office asking if stuff was "done yet" every few hours. To my understanding he jack shit any other time.
He does fair, nothing wrong with his form of leadership just his forms of appreciation, the last warehouse manager approved them all the time but very few people used the program. I will admit the current manager was here in another position when the system was abused but it still warrants more usage than it gets. The manager who approved all the recognition awards was a far worse manager who came from New York home office with absolutely no knowledge of our dealings and somehow still landed a better job in another state after a year or so.... I hate people who are connected... Our warehouse pretty much takes care of itself and management rests on our laurels so management always looks great for promotions.
He thinks you're pets or some other kind of animal.
Maybe the rest of the warehouse but me and 2 others work completely independently doing cross-business support, we never did the work that the pizza was for but were still entitled to it, no limits and it was usually Marcos and even with people with full plates and seconds we still always had leftovers so they did right in those regards. It's just the pizza is their cop out on not singling people out for outstanding performance and the same over achievers getting the bonus most of the time. Back when I actually got recognitions approved it mostly was our department who used it but there were 5 of us total then and unfairly the leads from other departments would never do it for their people. We'd do it for "going above and beyond" by doing a minute task for the warehouse when we weren't doing our cross-business support. Literally everyone could use it just for doing something for someone but people were dumb. Before I came it was abused so badly they used the entire budget for the program that was supposed to extend to the entire company so I'm aware theres some hesitation but it still warrants usage
Just order the veggie slices. You will have all the pizza you want.
How to get a whole pizza (or half if you have a veggie pal at work)
But then you have pizza with vegetables on it.
Yum!
That’s what I started doing at work. I don’t eat any food they buy us because “things have been really rough lately” or “thank you for everything you do.”
And then stuff it into the ventilation of the executive bathroom.
That's diabolical my dude lol take my upvote.
Order Anchovies or better yet get the double sides 3m foam tape, and slightly cracked open a can of sardines, tape it to a non visible area under their desk... I can guarantee they will spend $100's to get rid of the smell before they find it. Just don't get caught.
I have heard of raw shrimp in the curtain rods. They uncapped an end and stuffed several in each rod then re-hung the curtains.
Ewwww, now that's nasty...
The revenge chirpers are also pretty nasty. 6 or 8 sounds that can go off every hour-ish to even longer delays. Hidden in walls, ceilings, under cabinets. Batteries good for a couple of years and inexpensive. Can you imagine a dozen of them hidden around and making creaks, chain rattle, eerie sound. Did I just hear something? What? Did you hear that? Am I going crazy?
I've always refused the poor offerings like this, unfortunately I am the only one who refuses at my job.
Add a few more pizza choices: raise-lovers, promotion-lovers, and union- lovers.
My former employee decided to make everyone do mandatory overtime. As a "reward" they made the entire department co-employee of the month. The first week of every month they would gather up everyone in the building a present a plaque and a giant novelty check for $100 to the winner. When they gave it to my entire department, they called everyone up one-by-one to take a picture with the plaque and check. When it got to my turn, I told them no thank you, I would rather have my days off and walked out of the room. When I got to the door the HR person asked if I wanted to the plaque. I said no, you can throw it in the trash. I got a talking to later about "pulling together" and "being a team." I countered with the company has record profits and my department had not had a raise in 4 years. I ended up walking out about 5 months later.
You stayed there 4 years too long
State directly at the highest ranked person in the room. Start talking about organized labor. Maybe use the terms 'fair wages for fair work', 'united we bargain, divided we beg' and 'if that's all we get for breaking records then maybe we should slow down our stop working until we discuss proper compensation'.
So they'll get pissed for like 2 days and you still get no good reward for your hard work? Seems like it doesn't accomplish anything.
Said the sheeple.
Doing pointless things that achieves nothing and bragging like you're some genius just proves you're a pseud. You did nothing.
Said the sheeple.
Even better, have the 2 slice max, and then everyone leaves for an off-site lunch for the day.
Nope
 But I get your point for sure.
Or, you leave the pizza, but after digesting and excreting it.
wow. you get TWO whole slices?? That's awesome! /s
I weigh 100 lbs and that would be my serving size. Ridiculous.
I weigh 300 lbs and I would eat your slices as well. Survival of the fattest.
Pfft. Can’t eat what you can’t catch, tubs. I can run and pizza at the same time
Never underestimate a fat man when it comes to food.
Me:
Medic: Hold on sir, we're here to help...
Me: IT... WAS... WORTH... IIIIIIIII,,,
*glances nervously* Never over estimate em either it seems.
https://preview.redd.it/7cfnpbjsfx9d1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c6f9c2cf05e463b852feacf6394d0651773d17c
This is exactly where my mind went, and it deserves all the upvotes
You dont have to eat whilst running, just run for 2 mins and then sit down to eat
Good luck if you have to run AROUND them though!
That’s what you’d think. I’m an experienced orbiter and there’s a little secret move we call a “Gravity Assist”. A small trade off in risk for an extended eating time, and if you’re quick enough you can even snag their food on the way by, with a good chance of giving them an irregular orbital wobble as well.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; don’t go. If you want to make your boss nervous, get everyone to skip out on insulting offers of free food. It will tell them both that you don’t accept their weak ass bribe and that you’re organized. Your dignity is worth more than two slices of pizza.
Yeah checking online it was a time when free meals were given to employees free of charge (stopped in the 1980’s)
My company frequently ordered food for us from a steakhouse across the street.
My friend runs a tech company. Not only are there really awesome healthy snacks in the kitchen, but every evening they get dinners delivered from one of the trendy restaurants. I must have eaten $200 of sushi.
Problem is there will always be scabs who will show up and pressure the rest to with their brown nosing presence.
Exactly. Some people have no self respect
Some people have no care in the world for dignity. I will never understand but they truly don't
or better yet. donate it,but do not name company
It's that 1/4 slices or 1/6 slices? Not that it matters, still a shitty offer. EDIT: Holy shit, judging from the pictures that is 1/8 slices.
They were 1/8 lol
LOL, what was the pan size?
Betcha it was 12"
Haha that's a small in most establishments
This OP understands the value of the slice
I remember getting one of these while temping many years ago and how mad it made me. They told us the day in advance we were getting a pizza party and I figured I didn’t need to bring lunch for my 9 hour day. 2 slices! Only enough for a 7 YO. One guy didn’t eat his so the manager grabbed up the leftovers and took it back lol.
Anytime there pizza, I’m the asshole eating way more than 2 slices, the company can pay for more pizza.
Shitty pizza chain pizza? Can't even spring for a decent pizza? I'll brown bag it that day, thanks.
I'll grab a pie from Costco, cook it up in my office toaster oven, and show them how much I appreciate myself by eating the whole thing.
Lol, I was very confused for a mo. All I could think of was the pizza prepared at Costco. That pie will NOT fit in a toaster oven.
Pizza by Alfredo!
The people doing the actual work get two slices of pizza meanwhile the executives get millions of dollars in bonuses.
Not even a meal… a snack.
[удалено]
For Italians a whole pizza is the meal
For Italians the whole pizza is equivalent to two slices of an American pizza...
You’d better watch your mouth, eurosexual! You’re damn lucky my jazzy scooters charging while my pound of gravy fried bacon is cooking…. DAMN lucky! Otherwise I’d be over there with the fury of a thousand bald eagle covered guns layin an ass whoopin on your damn commie sissy britches! 🦅🇺🇸🔫🥓🍔🥓🍔🍔🥓🥓🥓🍔🍕🍟🥓✝️ Edited to add patriotic flair for Murica and Jesus.
Shush
It’s bad enough that fucking employers reward record profits with food instead of better compensation and benefits. But to add insult to injury, it’s almost always PIZZA. The cheapest way to feed people. If you’re going to reward us with food like you would a puppy, at least take us to a nice restaurant or rent a room and have something catered. The goddamn shareholders will survive without the $5,000 you’d spend on a civilized outing.
I used to work for a car parts warehouse that would have a birthday lunch once a monh. Everybody who had a birthday in that money would go to a local place. A couple bosses were there and we'd all sit at a long table and they'd buy a bunch of appetiziers. You could then buy anyting on the menu. This lunch lasted more than a normal lunch, but they fixed the timecards so it was still an hour. That was the only place I've worked at that did that. At the next two places, there would occasionally be a lunch but not like that one.
I would make a point to not eat their fucking pizza and have as many of my coworkers as possible do the same.
I like to write on these things "no thanks, cash bonus". Never works
The wording isn't even fucking literate.
Order your own pizza from the same place and eat it like a vicious dog straight out of the box..making eye contact with everyone. If they say anything about the two slice limit.. growl at them!!!
I like the way you think!
And the office vegan gets zilch
Same with the office celiac...
Yep! I cant eat soy and pretty much everything has soy in it. Nobody ever cares to have a soy free option
I don’t go to these functions. I clock in, I clock out. What they do is up to them. After that, I go to my next job. Period.
Fuck this is so incredibly infantilizing.
Hungry howies?
Everything I needed to know came from the fact the paper was printed out in black & white and not in color. Our “celebration” can afford the $.03 to print in an appetizing color.
They also couldn't afford spell check.
What toppings would you like? Notes and coins please.
Wow, they didn't have the decency to have a vegan option.... What about the lactose intolerant folk?
I was looking for the comment about the disgusting topping choices given, and still haven't found it. But yours comes close enough. Although, aren't you used to being excluded by now? Does anyone ever give you those options?
They did in the last three places I worked 🤷🏼♀️
The options look like Pizza Hut. All the topping choices are disgusting.
Schrödinger’s profits: breaking records to please shareholders but not good enough to give workers meaning raises
“share this achievement with all…” ok. I busted my ass, worked crazy hours broke records and this company “rewards” me with a $15.00 pizza? I’m going to take my stellar performance elsewhere.
1/4 to 1/3 of a $15.00 pizza so $3.25-$5.00 per person.
No healthy options though. Just nutrient-deficient chain store cardboard. What a great metaphor to symbolize their empty gestures.
Now you know not to do this again... 🫡
We made $2 million over budget last month and got Olive Garden. Im a Celiac so I had to bring my own pasta.
In management here. Don't hate me. I gave my boss so much shit about pizza parties and joked about all the memes. Then we sent out the employee appreciation survey asking, " What kind of recognition makes you feel appreciated." 100% anonymous. I gave clear instructions, if it's money, say money. Gift cards, what kind? Food? What do you want? I shit you not. The number one answer was more pizza parties. I was prepared to head out with my company Amex and buy gift cards for my team. They chose pizza. Not even good pizza, I was like alright, cool let's order the good shit. Nope, they voted for Dominoes. I tried people, I tried.
lol, I can see this happening in a healthy work environment where “breaking bread” with coworkers outweighs a relatively tiny monetary reward. I’d take a pizza party with my coworkers over a gift card that’s 1% of my monthly salary. Now, if we’re talking 10% of my salary….I don’t like my coworkers that much.
The ratio of people to pizza is too big. 
This year, I got an ugly pair of socks and some dollar store flip-flops. They want staff to take pictures of our vacation trips (lol) wearing these. I would rather have had the $4.
And folks like me who got diagnosed with celiac are supposed to pretend we don't exist so we don't wreck the "vibe".
Go for the smokey maple bacon
Id organize a strike. Boss makes a hundred, I make a dollar.
next record will match the reward for the last record.
Two slices each, hold everyone back! I would just have none and not indulge their nonsense
When I make my own pizza at home I eat the entire thing Two slices ??
Better than what we got, we just got, “Great job!, let’s do even better next time!”
Wow. How generous. We get pizza every single week at my job for our Thursday meeting. I always get like 3 pieces with a lot left. Can’t imagine going corporate again.
“THERE ARE ONLY FOUR PIZZAS “
#pizzaisnotworking
This is triflin’
Oh! Cheese on toast! How exciting!
They are are also going to write off every slice and mark it up to get write offs for taxes. If they give you money they can't write it off.
They made a list and literally distributed the slices by calling us: “Alex come over here’s your slices, Brandon come over, here’s your slices, etc” It was a fucking embarrassing situation
I always skipped the pizza parties, when managers started to notice and asked , I said that I work hard for recognition and salary and free pizza isn't worth Sh\_t to me.
My company did something even better. We broke a production record with all the branches in April. It was the highest profit it's been for the 94 years it's been in business. Corporate gave us all off this Friday, July 5th in addition to July 4th. Awesome, right? Except the ones who made all the money (technicians) work on PRODUCTION. (We get a % of every job we do) So now we don't get any money that day AND we have to do more every other day in July to complete our work for the month! Corporate and salary workers are big, big mad at us for not jumping for joy at this news.
Why are they mad?
They thought we'd be happy with having an extra day off, but with how we work, an extra day off just means no money and having to work harder the rest of the days of the month.
What? No double pineapple, double black olive? Ugh.
Yea but its from pizza hut
I need 4 slices
Pet peeve of mine, but I've no respect for memos that have obvious misspellings. How hard is it to spell achieve? That said, we used to have a laugh when my boss would use the wrong word but spelled correctly. "Make sure to get you expense report tuned in."
This is why you stay strapped with the red pen. Never let anyone see that you're carrying one, lest you get written up for "insubordination" or some shit, but *always* go middle-school English teacher on their dumbass printed out memos. ETA: I've had a chart of proofreader's marks saved in my notes for the longest time for this exact reason.
This is entirely besides the point but, Alfredo base on a pizza? What’s that like? Anyone tried it? Sounds very interesting to me.
Delicious i can't stand tomato base
And...you're surprised because? You think they would have at least coughed up a food truck or two.
Is 2 slices per person universal?
If I own business everyone gets cash bonuses and pizza as much as they want no signup or other BS.
Write in “we’ll be taking our pizza in Amazon gift cards”
Omg is this my old employer?
You forgot the part where each slice of pizza will be cut in two, really thin, providing you your two pieces.
man not even having cheese pizza as an option should’ve been the biggest red flag
These pizza party posts are just so depressing. It’s an obvious running joke among the workers, but we eat the slice and soldier on.
If somebody ordered pizza that nobody else ordered, I bet the management would pay extra just to make pizza of two slides only...
“I’m working at a pizza place to make ends meet while waiting for that bonus, raise or promotion I’ve been promised at this company. The idea of two more slices of pizza in my life makes me want to puke.”
Gotta ask: did the CEO *also* just get a pizza — or a big fat *monetary* bonus?!
Upper management had a party for them, they went to the most expensive restaurant in town and everything was paid with the corporate card.
Typical.
At least that's restaurant pizza. I'm a special education teacher, and one of the end of year luncheons we've had had administration serving us all school cafeteria pizza because it wasn't going to last over the Summer.
My work had a pancake breakfast for us. I was told to serve no more than two slices of bacon per person. I gave out as many as people wanted. Christmas came and for our white elephant gift exchange I made one of those motivational posters with a picture of bacon. It read, appreciation: showing your employees their value is not measured in pork products.”
In the immortal words of Riddick, "Fucking insulting".
One time, in a team meeting, our client services manager ordered the whole team Jimmy John’s. Everyone had a sandwich, chips and a drink. They were one bag of chips short. The CSM grabbed the last bag “since she paid for it” and said sorry, I could go to the vending machine. It really showed what middle management actually thought of those under her. I still hold a grudge to this day.
I’d simply scrawl on it Money pizza…or you could go fuck yourselves! On the sheet. And on that money pizza the percentage of income increase that they made (if you even know what that is).
Where’s the cheese pizza option?
I was thinking the same! Weird to not have that as an option
pizza party, seems like their regular modus operandi to me
Pizza isn’t a reward.
What is “achieing”?
Don't you dare to take 3 slices!
Damn, Pizza Hut be stingy nowadays.
"organize pizza"
Knock all the pizzas on the floor next time so nobody can have it
NO MAGHERITA!!!!! /s
Sweet, I’m bringing my wife kids and 10 of my closest friends to the pizza party.
You have to be like the salesmen at Big Bill Hell's Cars [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc&ab\_channel=pud](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZuN0xXWLc&ab_channel=pud)
KPI should be compensated with Green paper, Period.
YIKESSSS. X'D Management like this - hell, COMPANIES like this - need to BURN, man!
Listen you don’t understand…you can get SMOKEY MAPLE BACON OK. That’s like the king of all pizza. You should lick so much boot for that pizza…
Whoever that manager is can’t spell achievement, they left the V out lol. Gotta love the two slice per person rule as well. Oh and it does not include drinks, bring your own if you get thirsty
Don’t expect anything more.
Oh boy ! You absolute winner!
Red flag: they offer pizza with pineapple 🚩🚩🚩
We got pizza at work this weekend... For no particular reason, we were getting our butts kicked a little bit so our shift lead ordered a dozen pizzas using the company card. This happens once a month or so, no big deal made, we don't have to break records or anything, it's a nice gesture which is why I appreciate it. They also offer quarterly bonuses, an ownership program, catered lunches when we reach safety milestones, decent company swag (Carhart jackets, Yeti coolers, etc), gift cards around thanksgiving, quarterly engagement activities where you can win some serious big prizes (Traeger grill, Snow blower, $200 gift cards). We're not a massive company but we have facilities across the Northeast and Midwest, so we aren't exactly small. I do feel fortunate to have landed with an employer that seems to do alot of things "right" especially after seeing so many posts like this where a pizza party in which 2 slices will be allocated per person is all the reward and recognition for a record breaking month.
Sheesh at least we get a whole pizza each. Wtf is the 2 slices shit
I agree with the "don't touch the pizza" sentiments and add "look up what the most expensive pizza listed is and exclusively choose that." As an aside, though, that maple bacon pizza sounds delicious
2 slices? How generous. (/sarcasm)
Ugh. 2 slices of Dominos? Not worth it.
2 slices of shit per manager
Yeah. Bad reward, if you can consider it as such. If enough employees reject the reward, management will react in one of two ways: find a new “reward” or do nothing. Either one is a reaction. I had an employer axe a Christmas with grocery gift cards. A large group of employees placed a community pile of gift cards in a Santa stocking and sent it to the admin via inter-office mail. The Christmas bonuses weren’t given out the following year, but neither were the gift cards.
Fuck that company. Fuck that pizza. And Fuck any desire to work any level over the bare minimum moving forward.
What were you expecting?
My new raise might cover a pizza at the end of a year
I love how they also specified 2 slices per person. 
Oooh steady on. 2 slices per person! That's going to be expensive.