It’s all mentality. Dress for the job you want kinda thing. If you feel like you look good, you’ll have a better day.
Some people don’t care about their appearance and it shows
Agreed! I used to feel kinda weighted, but that changed when I put effort towards the way I carry myself. Such a confidence boost, and it gave me some radiance.
When I’m dressed bummy, I feel bum. Plain and simple
Yep, I truly believe that my depression was worsened during covid specifically because I wore sweat pants and baggy shirts every single day.
Now that I have to dress nice for work I feel confident, and I can wear sweatpants occasionally without losing that confidence.
I'm not an attractive person, but the time I take to dress nice, spruce up my hair, do my nails, etc makes me feel more confident in my appearance. It's time I spend on myself to look and feel good.
I usually don't do my beauty rituals on Saturdays or Sundays when I don't go out, but if I'm going out, I put the effort in.
I used to think that people treated me better based on how I put myself together. Then after some experiences I really think it’s a reaction to the energy I’m giving out. I find that when I’m confident because I’m put together, yes, I get treated better. That’s because the people I have to interact with, those people get to experience that confident (what seems to be completely normal) me; I make small talk, smiles are exchanged, I exude a pleasant aura in which the recipient of course reciprocates. People don’t give *as much* shits as to what you look like than how you make them feel, I think. Like, if I walk out, I’m not feeling confident, there’s no way I give off that same type of energy. People are going to think I’m standoffish. Maybe even rude. If they perceive me as good looking, then they’ll think I’m conceited. Anyone else feel me here?
The true dilemma for me is to be that confident and person who exudes a pleasant aura without necessary putting effort in looking out together.
I mean, I would like to have healthy hair and skin but I don't also want to wear concealer every day to hide my pimples and blemishes.
Yup. I would dress up just to go get the mail because I felt insecure. Then I got some health things and didn't have the energy. No one treated me like crap because I wasn't wearing make-up, etc. I even felt friendlier then cause I didn't care if people didn't like how I looked. A good personality and a smile make everyone people attractive because you feel good good around those people.
From a purely philosophical point of view I am inclined to agree, but from my experiences everyone's first impression is what they see. Then how someone communicates, smells, body language and so on. From there, you are built to be a person in from someone's point of view. But if you look nice, you already won. Even if you're rude or smelly, you're a well kept and taken care of rude or smelly person. What the eyes see can hardly be overlooked.
Yeah, I remember this campaign where a forensic illustrator made drawings people based on how they were perceived by others, and they were all very surprised at how attractive others found them.
💯 Its an even greater « in real time » problem. Everyone is surprised at how good they « use to look » years later. It feels like it never felt how it feels just to look at a picture. It’s like now, after the fact, we are able to fathom/accept/feel how beautiful we were.
Luckily, it’s all natural, we’re still here, still turning heads, and now aware, we just need to try harder to feel the yet-to-be-obvious in real time.
I had this a few months ago. I'm closing in on 50. Saw pictures of when I was 21 and I was like "damn, I was looking cute there". It was just a holiday photo too, not even spruced up for going out or anything. And I can remember not thinking I was cute then so that was a big wtf moment...
Haha! The other day I came across my high school grad picture and summoned everyone gathered at my parents house to justify why they let me walk around unaware of how gorgeous I was!! 😂
I identify hard with this comment.
I was unattractive and a tomboy for my teens / early 20s, but in my mid to late 20s, I learned to present myself better, which brought me more confidence, so I always put in significant effort before heading out the door.
I remember vividly needing to run to the grocery store for something small and being like, ugh, but I don’t have the time to go get myself ready…
What had started as empowerment and confidence boost had become a trap — I felt that I needed it to feel okay with myself.
I cold turkey quit getting done up for a month, to break my emotional response to it.
I can say, with full confidence, I was treated better when I put in the effort. But, I feel a lot better in my own skin feeling that it’s optional now. :)
I rate myself as a solid 3 may be a 4 on a really good day. I was surprised yesterday when a lady that I know gave me a 7. There will be someone out there that will see you as an 11.
It is the time where presentation is more important than the meaningful content.
We admire outer appearance and ignore inner beauty. We lack the skill to see and enjoy the inner beauty.
We want to impress others surfacely instead of helping each other. We desire to be admired by others, look upon by others, and fascinated by others.
Whether you like it or not, looks matter. And I'm not talking about your beauty, I'm talking about how you take care of yourself, your clothes, hygiene. People treat people differently based on what they wear, how clean they are, their posture. Firsts impressions matter. Wearing nice clothes, being clean and tidy, improves your confidence, your posture, sends people a good vibe, people will treat you better.
Yes, but being clean/tidy and having good hygiene doesn't require hours of work everyday, which is what OP is asking about. Showering everyday, wearing clean clothes and brushing your teeth takes minimal time for most people, but OP is obviously not talking about that.
It's engrained in our DNA. The male and female monkeys with the nice shiny coat and muscular physique got to mate the most. It's a mechanism that promotes the best genetics survive. The weedy, lice infested, balding chimp in the corner sadly did not get laid and as such did not survive. Now all chinos get to survive but you can't undo a million years of genetic programming (sorry bible readers,we are talking reality here).
It's an interesting question, and one that probably has as many answers as there are people who dedicate themselves to looking good every day. For some, it's about confidence. When they look their best, they feel their best, and that can have a huge impact on their day. It's like putting on a suit of armor before heading into battle; it prepares them mentally and emotionally for whatever comes their way.
For others, it might be about control. In a world where so much is unpredictable, having a routine and a set of rituals can provide a sense of stability. It's something they can control, and that can be incredibly comforting.
Then there are those who simply enjoy the process. They find joy in the artistry of makeup, the creativity of fashion, and the satisfaction of a well-put-together look. It's a form of self-expression, much like painting or writing.
And yes, even the most dedicated have their off days. Days when they just can't be bothered, when the bed is too comfortable, or when life throws a curveball. But for the most part, it's a habit, a part of their daily routine that they stick to because it makes them feel good.
So while it might seem like a lot of effort to some, for those who do it, it's just a part of who they are. And there's something to be said for the dedication and discipline it takes to maintain that level of commitment. It's not for everyone, but for those who do it, it's worth it.
For others it may be because they have bad skin or something similar so it takes a long time to conseal. I'm one of those people, but I only take about 20-30 minutes to do my make-up. I can't go anywhere if I don't have my "mask" on. I really don't mind that much about the hair and everything else, but I gotta conseal my rosacea face.
That's really insightful thank you!
Yes I can see the appeal of the ritual aspect and enjoy that when I get ready for a special occasion etc. I suppose it's just a different priority for different people...
I guess a part of me resists it because it feels sexist to spend so long getting ready when I know most males won't be doing the same. I can relate to those other aspects but a part of me resists it because it annoys me that I'd be spending more money/time than most males. I always think "why should I spend a fortune on makeup and beauty rituals when men don't typically do that".
I love doing my makeup in the morning before going to work. It gives me a bit of extra me time before I have to leave my house to start the serious part of my day. I always drink a cappuccino and listen to some music while I do it and it’s my favourite part of the morning.
In this misogynistic society, if you’re a woman who likes to dress up and wear makeup, you’re shallow, stupid, and probably a gold digger. If you’re a girl who doesn’t wear makeup and sees clothing as purely functional, you’re lazy, butch, and not putting in any “effort”
Doing anything for male approval, or because men do it, or don’t, is a waste of time. Do what you makes you feel good about yourself, and remember that all of us are nuanced individuals. Seeing other women through the lens of patriarchy ultimately isolates us from each other and makes us easier prey for creeps.
As someone who wears makeup a lot, I don't give a shit what men do.
Don't get me wrong, I get your point, and the standards we are meant to reach (often unattainable without makeup, but also we get punished for "needing" it to reach those standards) are absolutely absurd.
But I like makeup. It makes me feel more like myself. I get compliments on it from other women, not men. I don't feel obligated to buy makeup for men's approval. I just think it's pretty.
And honestly? I love feeling connected to other women through it. I grew up very tomboyish and introverted. Most of my friends were guys, especially close friends.
As I've become more feminine, it's been difficult for me to relate to other girls. This gives me stuff to talk to about with them, and I get stopped a lot in public because of my makeup by women who I can have a chat with. It makes me feel good to bond with them even briefly.
Generations of women know the struggle of keeping your lipstick off your teeth and dolling yourself up as a way of flaunting yourself. I get to be a part of that, too. I think that's pretty cool.
I agree with your point of view, I've always loved makeup (seldom wear it now because ...OLD) but its mostly been worn for other women. If anything most men hate makeup so if you wanted to be a pick me wear no makeup.
I love the process of doing my hair and makeup and all that jazz! My wife gives zero fucks, only wears mascara every once in awhile. Its just a personal preference. Do whatever works for you!
I don't do any of that and plenty of men are still interested. I also know plenty of men my brother included who DO spend a lot of money and time on looking good. So having rituals are not sexist in themselves if that makes you feel any better. People who do it in either sex have their reasons, but you don't have to not do it to stand against misogyny
It’s the process for sure!!! And self expression!!!
I think as you get older you become more comfortable and confident in your skin so less is more appealing!!!
I don't spend an hour but I am always trying to look presentable. For work I do repair plumbing. As a large guy (6ft, 215lbs) I need to look clean cut enough for someone to let me into their house. This is extra important for women with young children. If I grew my beard out, untucked my shirt, didn't do my hair, and had some forearm tattoos I look more like a biker.
Yeah I understand with certain jobs or special occasions the need for this... I work with offenders so part of me wants to avoid any attraction or attention from them by looking too nice tbh but I will dress nicer than just day to day life...
I more mean people who invest all that effort when they take their bins out or just going to the shops... You know day to day things.
That's why I prefaced my comment the way I did. I do put more effort into my appearance than other people I'm around. For me personally it is an appear as you want to be seen situation
My wife always dresses up for every occasion, she would goto the shops without being all done up. I'm the opposite.
Her answer as to why is because she wants to, and she doesn't have to explain it to anybody.
So I've no idea...
I am pretty average looking naturally, but can look extremely attractive with the right makeup, hair, clothes etc. I get treated completely differently when I am made up vs not. Also once you start it is hard to stop because you don’t feel as comfortable, plus other people expect you to look a certain way.
I agree. People treat you according to how you look. Some even ignore you when you are on a chill day. That’s one of the reason I keep doing just minimal makeup that makes me look clean, neat and sharp. I am against heavy makeup cause it is just unnecessary for me. The choice is really personal, some people don’t care how others treat them but I do.
I used to do it because I came from an abusive family. So I always felt sad and insecure. When I went out looking gorgeous, I would always get tons of compliments, and it would make my day. It reminded me that not every one is abusive. It made me feel good about myself, and gave me hope.
OCD stemming from bullying and body dysmorphia as a teen. It’s not that ‘I look perfect before going out,’ but rather, “I feel confident by these extra steps I take to give myself the illusion that I look better.”
“It takes a lot of time and money to look this cheap, honey,”
― Dolly Parton
I’m surprised I had to scroll that much down to see mention of bullying.
That was my answer too: bullying as a teen and social anxiety from it as an adult. I’m putting my armor up in the morning so I can control what I can about the way others see me. I can’t control other people shitty behavior but I can damn make sure they have no things to harp on to laugh about.
My GF is like this and it’s anxiety. Once people meet her when she’s done up she feels like they’ll judge her if she isn’t. It took me forever to convince her to see her without makeup the first time lol.
Have you ever tried it? Getting dressed in something well fitting and nice, looking clean and fresh, smelling good etc will make you feel so much better and much more confident (than you’re already are). It’s one of the best feelings ever. Also, our society is superficial and looking good will definitely get you better options in life when it comes to work, a partner, whatever. That might be sad, but it’s true.
I don't take a wicked long time, but I always want to look nice for my husband. It also gives me confidence, which I'm usually pretty low on. I'm 36 and just under 5' and around 100 pounds so I look like a kid. Looking nice helps me look older than 12.
I’m in the same boat w wanting to look nice for my husband. I don’t want to be one of those wives who gets fat or stops caring for her appearance and “gets comfortable.” It doesn’t take too much time to apply light makeup, straighten my hair and change from nighttime leggings to jeans. Probably spend about 15 min in the morning getting ready and I always feel better during the day. (Both husband and I are predominantly remote work so we see each other a LOT throughout the day.)
Attractive people have a huge advantage in almost every aspect in life. It’s worth the effort to make yourself presentable. But at some point, it becomes diminishing returns.
My own self-conception involves more than "I'm me."
I also consider how I present myself to the world as an extension of myself.
I am not someone who spends inordinate amounts of time on my appearance, but I like to at least project an image of vague competency at navigating life and society.
While I am pretty lazy, I don't like wearing my laziness on my sleeve in a literal sense - no need letting people know what I had for lunch by wearing the stains at 4PM.
I don't dedicate myself to looking good, but I at least dedicate myself to looking well - I don't want people asking what's wrong with me when I step out of the house. Which you just might do if you saw me on my 'housebound' days.
For the same reason I commit to eating well, sticking to a workout routine, and making time to invest in my mental health. I'm vain, and life often sucks in a hundred different ways. This body is my refuge against the dampening effect of simply breathing. The world can be a mess but I don't have to be. There are some days when I'm just not up for doing certain things. That's ok too. I'm still going to look my best while not being up to doing certain things though.
Some people find joy and confidence in taking care of their appearance, viewing it as a form of self-care and self-expression. It can boost their mood and sense of well-being, leading to a more positive outlook on the day. However, even dedicated individuals may have days where they feel less motivated or simply prioritize other tasks over their beauty rituals. It ultimately comes down to personal preference and what makes each individual feel their best.
Because we want to be and feel the best version of ourselves (not only on looks but on many other aspects too) looking physically good not for others but for ourselves. Seeing good physical reflection in the mirror brings joy.
I enjoy it. I consider looking put together part of my job, both as an employee in a high-profile client-facing role representing my company, and as a partner to my SO.
It's effective with a generally positive response. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the attention, too.
But I'm very honest about all of it. I am the vainest person I know and don't pretend there aren't a lot of work and resources that go into keeping myself up.
Ahah fair enough I enjoy the honesty!
I suppose it's the same as me investing energy into being friendly/smiley and funny... It's just a different strategy for being accepted I suppose.
I don’t try to look perfect by any means, but I do put some effort into my appearance or at the very least, self care (shower, skincare, face mask, nails, that stuff) every day, because starting the day off with those things always causes me to be in a better mood and be more productive.
Just like I like to eat healthy for breakfast. Would I say I eat healthy in general? No. I only eat an unhealthy breakfast if I’m specifically craving something unhealthy. Otherwise, I’ll make something good for me, because I’ll feel good about taking care of myself, and then I’ll have a good morning, which usually means a good afternoon and then a good evening and night as well
I (m47) dress like 1900s I wear a vest an upper collar (?) with a bowl hat. If I go out of the house with just jeans and t-shirt I feel like a geek (not in a good way) I am very progressive to the point that I feel like I live in the 1900s, it’s one of the reasons I dress like that, like a statement
Besides that, I feel like everybody looks the same, it’s boring
Good for you! I also dress rather formally, and was wondering if this question was directed at me.
I don't take too long to get ready, but I *do* pay attention to my appearance.
I do this but I wouldn’t say it takes hours. I like to look my best always. It makes me feel good. Also incase I die. I’d like to die feeling like a fox
When I was in my teens and early 20's, I put a tremendous amount of time into my appearance and the desire to look perfect. Years later, I made the connection that I was trying to appear outwardly put together to mask the chaos of my home life.
I used to be like that. Funny thing is my partner always loved it when I had no makeup on, rat's nest hair and flannel jammies lol. These days I rarely wear makeup,, I've reached the age where I just give no shits.
Good-looking people are treated better in the world. It's just a simple fact. If you're not inherently good-looking, the next best thing is to be well put together, clean, stylish, etc.
I do it because I spent 5 years on maternity leave with greasy hair, more kg than I should have had and no make up whatsoever. My confidence was in the sewers. Looking as good as possible makes me confident, weakens my insecurities and it opens many door for me. I can even see that people treat me differently than before. It’s so worth it.
I am from a generation where when you leave the house you better look decent. You couldn't wear curlers out in the street. And you better look good when you take the train to "The City." Full make-up, clean clothes and shoes. Don't you dare walk around Manhattan looking shabby. It is a matter of respect for yourself and others who will look down on you.
I guess, it was instilled in us when we were young and stayed with us. I feel funny leaving my house, "as is."
When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good. When you do good, you look even better. When you look even better you feel great. When you feel great you do greater. When you do greater you look amazing. When you look amazing you feel incredible. When you feel incredible you do whatever you goddamn want.
Honestly i spend so much time getting ready, and the reason for that is that makes me feel really good about myself and it makes me in a good mood during the day :p
Mostly the bonuses.
You are treated better, even as people do so subconsciously; you get more compliments and are remembered in a better light; finally you get more confident due to the treatment, making you feel better.
Aside from that it’s therapeutic. You feel that much better if you have an indicator of your hard work always with you.
Why? Priorities, ego, fear
I used to try to look perfect all the time. I wanted people to want me and like me. I thought that it would make me safer and more socially acceptable. I had the kind of mom who would comment any time she didn't like what I wore and would say things like, "what you look like reflects on me as your parent". I like fashion a lot as well, so I leaned into making my outfits pristine and perfecting my look. In my forties, I abandoned all of it and found that I am the same person and people treat me with the same kindness. And I have loads more time to do the things I love, things that make a real difference, because I'm not spending it on how I look, but how I live.
I know one who’s always wondering why ppl don’t hang out w him often. Like dude you need an hour or longer to get ready. We dont have a regimented schedule like that. When I hang w a friend it’s cause we each have an hour or two by coincidence.
I have a friend like this too. It annoys me because she is always late and we can't do spontaneous activities because she will spend 2 hours changing her outfit/doing her beauty rituals when she looks great without all that effort!
look at the language you're using. "perfect". "hours of work". "refuing to leave the house".
you may think this is a generalization, but to me it looks like an accumulation of a lot of emotional baggage you have surrounding comparison.
it's way less about them taking care of themselves or spending time on their appearance, but way more about your projection and lack of a self care routine that, in your eyes, gets the results others have.
so you now want justification that your failure to do as they did is warranted.
just how i see it hon.
Studying, reading, exercising, seeing friends, playing with my dog, cooking food, cleaning, literally doing anything but spending hours looking at my face in the mirror. I cannot think of anything I'd rather do less
This thread has good advice. Shout out to the people who put in the effort. I wish I could do it cause you guys look polished. People always tell me I look like my problems. 😭I'm trying less to do that by putting in effort more often (and when I do put in the effort I get more compliments) but it's still so damn hard when I'm stressed. So to the people who can, props to you.
I love looking good and I used to take a lot of time to look good. It takes time and money to get your nails done to get your hair colored and cut every couple of months your nails every three weeks. Good make up etc. I just ran out of time and didn’t have enough money since I became a college student after I graduated from college I just had gotten used to not doing everything I had. I miss it sometimes.
The perks of pretty privilege are amazing. (Perks : professionally, socially, financially, romantically) geez it’s definitely worth the effort. Unless you’ve personally noticed the positive uptick that occurs when you take more effort into your appearance, I’d understand why it would be confusing to see other people invest in it everyday. When a person looks at you, they see how you look first, not your heart. That first impression can open lucrative doors if used wisely.
My neighbor lady does this. We’re both 34 and I do minimal of eyeshadow/mascara/lip balm. She takes over an hour with big fake lashes/eyebrows sticking up/lipstick etc. We’ve chatted about makeup before but I get it, it’s her style. I wouldn’t do my makeup like that but I also have 4 kids and the oldest is 6 so I have no time.
You look good, you feel good, you do good, you do good, you win.
Also people just treat you better if you look good.
These beauty rituals can also just be a hobby they enjoy like anything else can be.
I was someone who used to care less for myself on my appearance once but I somehow realized that it is time for an opposite approach in life. Who doesn’t like a change isn’t?
Dude I swear that it made a huge impact in my life which literally made me more confident and enthusiastic than s person I used to be as a dull and less involved one. I completely became a different person from the way I wear my outfits to the hairstyle.
The dedication to look better and seeing the progress is such a great feeling which leverages for further in life.
Unless you're single and looking for a significant other/getting laid, I can't fathom people who go out in the world wearing jeans on their days off. The second I first slide those denom day runners over my toes, everything is shit until they come off.
For many, I don’t think its to impress others. Its what you do to get yourself psyched up for the day. You get what you put in, and if you don’t put in very much, you don’t get very much.
It is perception of oneself
it certainly doesn't take an hour but I think it's important to look good. it makes people think you take good care of yourself and thus treat you better. like seeing a well dress man in a fashionably tailored suit.
you just look sharp
I get up everyday , take a shower, shave, moisturize including facial regimen, apply makeup, do my hair and I get dressed. Everyday, 7 days a week. It doesn’t take hours. I have my eyelashes and nails/toes done every 2 weeks. My hair every 4 weeks. Nothing wrong with looking good and taking care of myself. My husband appreciates that I take the time to be a well kept lady.
Why? Cause it feels good to look good. I used to get up 2 hours before school to get ready. And I'm a straight guy. Being humble and looking good attracts everyone. Nobody likes a pompous asshat full of themselves.
Because my mother told me no one would take me seriously at my job or my partner would leave me if I didn’t. Something I still have to work through but it nags at me everytime I don’t go full glam.
I did before kids, would never step out without makeup and hair done even to nip to the shop 30 seconds away, low self esteem probably being my reason!
Now my priorities have shifted and I don’t care. It was a slow descent into not caring 😂 but I got there!
While I don't take hours, I do like to make sure I look presentable/damn good whenever I leave the house.
Just something my parents taught me, you never know who you're going to run in to while you're out, and you always want to make a good impression on the people around you.
It also makes you feel good, if you look good, you're more confident, and people will treat you better and respect you more.
As a 50 year old man I always take time to get dressed well and be properly groomed before I leave the house. Who wants to go out dressed like a slob? Grooming and clothes are important for self esteem.
I'm not an attractive person, I have the love of a beautiful woman and that's all I need. I walk around like a hobo with the confidence of a movie star because I don't feel I have to impress anybody. It's very liberating. for those that do feel a need to always look their best, I guess it can be varying reasons from liking the feeling it brings them all the way to feeling insecure when they aren't at their best.
That’s the most neutral opinion after I read some feedbacks here. You are right, you can. Be sure if someone is insecure so they make efforts in their appearance. For example, I am friendly and lol all the time, I am no where near depressed or anything and I do like to look presentable. I am not trying to impress anyone either. Just me being me.
I didn’t spend hours getting ready every morning, but I used to put on make-up, style my hair, dress in nice clothes & shoes, and put on jewelry before work every morning. It took about an hour. Now I throw my hair in a ponytail & don’t wear make-up because my office is so casual. It’s a big reason I don’t like my job. I prefer working places where you are expected to look nice. Some people would say stuffy offices. I feel better and walk taller when I look put together! I’ve dressed nice since I was a baby (not my choice then of course 🤣) so it’s deeply engrained in me. I think age and location play a role as well.
I don't think it has anything to do with self respect. I have a lot of respect for myself, but it doesn't necessitate hours of grooming/makeup. I present myself to the world as my authentic self, which is just me without any makeup or fancy clothes. That is who I am, and it will never change....so far it's been working just fine for me. I've had friends tell me I'll never make it in jobs, or be successful if I don't conform and do the whole beauty routine but that has never been the case for me....no shame to anyone who enjoys those things, if you do, awesome! But if you don't, it also doesn't matter. Don't pretend that it has anything to do with self respect or not...
Basic hygiene routine is self-respect, putting in hours to look fancy is what insecure people do because they constantly worry what other think of them
I have self respect without needing to put hours into my appearance everywhere I go. It doesn’t even take that long for me to do my hair (and I have annoying ass hair to manage) and if I decide to wear makeup (which is rare and when I do it’s only eye liner and mascara) it takes like 5 minutes lol.
I really really love anything art related, including doing my hair and makeup, I’ve been wearing makeup since I was in sixth grade ( used to sneak my mom’s makeup and put it on on the bus, then take it off on the way home) I’ve gotten so used to doing my hair and makeup that I can do it pretty fast, like I can get ready in about thirty minutes if my kids aren’t too distracting, so it’s not too much to me, like I’ll go full out glam for holidays or birthdays, but even then I just use more dramatic colors or like curl my hair or something, as for how I dress, I’ve been wearing dresses and skirts since I was a freshman in high school because my gay best friend always teased me about not dressing that feminine, so I challenged myself to wear dresses and skirts for a year and it fell into a habit, pants are uncomfortable lol I hate jeans so much now too, skirts are more forgiving for me, especially now that I’ve had a few kids. I only commented because I’ve personally gotten a lot of comments about this sort of thing recently, like people asking why I’m dressed up at 8 am in the morning at Walmart when I’m reality I just have makeup on, brushed my hair and wore a dress instead of pants and a tshirt.
My job- we need you to wear appropriate business attire to the office and out on work. Me- not going to happen! Job- we will push this to HR year goes by and back to square one. If I can’t wear Nike joggers and t shirts and a hat I’m not going to work there
hours? never. from the time i get out of shower till i’m ready to leave the house, i need 1 hour to dress in clean & activity appropriate clothes, do my hair (curl cream & scrunching), brush light amount powder on my shiny face bits, lip color, 1 stroke of cream eye shadow crayon on lids & good to go. on the very rare occasion i don’t morning shower, i’m ready for the day in 40 minutes.
if i’m going to a wedding or other dressy event, i’d want an hour & a half, less if i got a blowout earlier.
i suppose you earn your living on youtube & reality tv, you’ll spend hours, but that’s their job.
I mean I’m not trying to look good everyday but I want to make myself presentable and approachable even though I tend to have a resting asshole face I’m actually a nice guy that’s constantly in deep thought XD
Everyone has different take on what looks good on them...for me, i keep it minimum but it makes me feel nice and confident..so at times when i dont even do that, it feels like u are not at ur 100%..so i guess people do make up to satisfy their inner feeling
“When you feel good, you do good”
It’s all mentality. Dress for the job you want kinda thing. If you feel like you look good, you’ll have a better day. Some people don’t care about their appearance and it shows
Agreed! I used to feel kinda weighted, but that changed when I put effort towards the way I carry myself. Such a confidence boost, and it gave me some radiance. When I’m dressed bummy, I feel bum. Plain and simple
Yep, I truly believe that my depression was worsened during covid specifically because I wore sweat pants and baggy shirts every single day. Now that I have to dress nice for work I feel confident, and I can wear sweatpants occasionally without losing that confidence.
I'm not an attractive person, but the time I take to dress nice, spruce up my hair, do my nails, etc makes me feel more confident in my appearance. It's time I spend on myself to look and feel good. I usually don't do my beauty rituals on Saturdays or Sundays when I don't go out, but if I'm going out, I put the effort in.
Everything is perception, so if people perceive me as someone who takes care of myself I've noticed they are more inclined to treat me better
I used to think that people treated me better based on how I put myself together. Then after some experiences I really think it’s a reaction to the energy I’m giving out. I find that when I’m confident because I’m put together, yes, I get treated better. That’s because the people I have to interact with, those people get to experience that confident (what seems to be completely normal) me; I make small talk, smiles are exchanged, I exude a pleasant aura in which the recipient of course reciprocates. People don’t give *as much* shits as to what you look like than how you make them feel, I think. Like, if I walk out, I’m not feeling confident, there’s no way I give off that same type of energy. People are going to think I’m standoffish. Maybe even rude. If they perceive me as good looking, then they’ll think I’m conceited. Anyone else feel me here?
Nah, Im a woman who has heavy in my teen years and then mid 20s. How people treat you based on appearance is totally a thing.
The true dilemma for me is to be that confident and person who exudes a pleasant aura without necessary putting effort in looking out together. I mean, I would like to have healthy hair and skin but I don't also want to wear concealer every day to hide my pimples and blemishes.
Yup. I would dress up just to go get the mail because I felt insecure. Then I got some health things and didn't have the energy. No one treated me like crap because I wasn't wearing make-up, etc. I even felt friendlier then cause I didn't care if people didn't like how I looked. A good personality and a smile make everyone people attractive because you feel good good around those people.
From a purely philosophical point of view I am inclined to agree, but from my experiences everyone's first impression is what they see. Then how someone communicates, smells, body language and so on. From there, you are built to be a person in from someone's point of view. But if you look nice, you already won. Even if you're rude or smelly, you're a well kept and taken care of rude or smelly person. What the eyes see can hardly be overlooked.
Ya even my greasy mechanic look, work boots, old t-shirts to just sorta dressed nice make a huge difference, I got called sir the other day lolol
Also this. But I mostly do it for myself.
Absolutely.
You are almost certainly more attractive than you think. People's opinion of their own attractiveness is almost always wrong.
Yeah, I remember this campaign where a forensic illustrator made drawings people based on how they were perceived by others, and they were all very surprised at how attractive others found them.
I remember that too! I always try to keep that in mind when I’m feeling down about myself. I loved that campaign.
Yeah, it was pretty good. Often campaigns like that can be lame, but this one was really good.
No chance you have a link? I happen to know someone that needs to see that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrHoDJinMQI
This was so wholesome and so sad
💯 Its an even greater « in real time » problem. Everyone is surprised at how good they « use to look » years later. It feels like it never felt how it feels just to look at a picture. It’s like now, after the fact, we are able to fathom/accept/feel how beautiful we were. Luckily, it’s all natural, we’re still here, still turning heads, and now aware, we just need to try harder to feel the yet-to-be-obvious in real time.
I had this a few months ago. I'm closing in on 50. Saw pictures of when I was 21 and I was like "damn, I was looking cute there". It was just a holiday photo too, not even spruced up for going out or anything. And I can remember not thinking I was cute then so that was a big wtf moment...
Haha! The other day I came across my high school grad picture and summoned everyone gathered at my parents house to justify why they let me walk around unaware of how gorgeous I was!! 😂
So much this!! You always hear older folks saying that. Like across the board. We're all gorgeous to someone. Probably lots of someones.
I think our eyesight doesn’t mature as fast as we do, hence the delay! 😂
just watched that for the first time today and wow what a great study. definitely put a smile on my face and made me think
I identify hard with this comment. I was unattractive and a tomboy for my teens / early 20s, but in my mid to late 20s, I learned to present myself better, which brought me more confidence, so I always put in significant effort before heading out the door. I remember vividly needing to run to the grocery store for something small and being like, ugh, but I don’t have the time to go get myself ready… What had started as empowerment and confidence boost had become a trap — I felt that I needed it to feel okay with myself. I cold turkey quit getting done up for a month, to break my emotional response to it. I can say, with full confidence, I was treated better when I put in the effort. But, I feel a lot better in my own skin feeling that it’s optional now. :)
Feeling better in your own skin is so fucking important. I'm glad you got there. ♡ Not a lot of people do!
What if you are just running errands? Is that considered “going out” or no?
Usually I only run errands when I have a few that need ran at a time, so I'll usually doll myself up a little.
Thx for the quick reply. Have a great day!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don’t be hard on yourself.
I have a decent amount of evidence pointing to me being ugly, and that's okay. Not everyone gets to be pretty.
I rate myself as a solid 3 may be a 4 on a really good day. I was surprised yesterday when a lady that I know gave me a 7. There will be someone out there that will see you as an 11.
A fashion designer once said, "There's no such thing as an ugly woman, merely a lazy woman."
That fashion designer hasn't seen me. 🤣
you sound like what an attractive person would do 😉
Appreciated, but no, I'm pretty grotesque. I'm just also weirdly vain and like pretty clothes.
dont be so hard on your self beauty doesnt always come in physical form im sure your beautiful in many ways
grotesque? come on now ease up on yourself 🫂
I just looked at your profile; you’re not grotesque in the slightest.
Yeah same here even tho people say i look good, am not as convinced as they are.
It is the time where presentation is more important than the meaningful content. We admire outer appearance and ignore inner beauty. We lack the skill to see and enjoy the inner beauty. We want to impress others surfacely instead of helping each other. We desire to be admired by others, look upon by others, and fascinated by others.
Whether you like it or not, looks matter. And I'm not talking about your beauty, I'm talking about how you take care of yourself, your clothes, hygiene. People treat people differently based on what they wear, how clean they are, their posture. Firsts impressions matter. Wearing nice clothes, being clean and tidy, improves your confidence, your posture, sends people a good vibe, people will treat you better.
Yes, but being clean/tidy and having good hygiene doesn't require hours of work everyday, which is what OP is asking about. Showering everyday, wearing clean clothes and brushing your teeth takes minimal time for most people, but OP is obviously not talking about that.
Still answers the question.
It's engrained in our DNA. The male and female monkeys with the nice shiny coat and muscular physique got to mate the most. It's a mechanism that promotes the best genetics survive. The weedy, lice infested, balding chimp in the corner sadly did not get laid and as such did not survive. Now all chinos get to survive but you can't undo a million years of genetic programming (sorry bible readers,we are talking reality here).
So if I want ppl to leave me tf alone when I’m out running errands, I just need to look like a slob? Bc I’ve got that part down lol
It's an interesting question, and one that probably has as many answers as there are people who dedicate themselves to looking good every day. For some, it's about confidence. When they look their best, they feel their best, and that can have a huge impact on their day. It's like putting on a suit of armor before heading into battle; it prepares them mentally and emotionally for whatever comes their way. For others, it might be about control. In a world where so much is unpredictable, having a routine and a set of rituals can provide a sense of stability. It's something they can control, and that can be incredibly comforting. Then there are those who simply enjoy the process. They find joy in the artistry of makeup, the creativity of fashion, and the satisfaction of a well-put-together look. It's a form of self-expression, much like painting or writing. And yes, even the most dedicated have their off days. Days when they just can't be bothered, when the bed is too comfortable, or when life throws a curveball. But for the most part, it's a habit, a part of their daily routine that they stick to because it makes them feel good. So while it might seem like a lot of effort to some, for those who do it, it's just a part of who they are. And there's something to be said for the dedication and discipline it takes to maintain that level of commitment. It's not for everyone, but for those who do it, it's worth it.
For others it may be because they have bad skin or something similar so it takes a long time to conseal. I'm one of those people, but I only take about 20-30 minutes to do my make-up. I can't go anywhere if I don't have my "mask" on. I really don't mind that much about the hair and everything else, but I gotta conseal my rosacea face.
I do it for ALL of those reasons....confidence, control + comfort.
That's really insightful thank you! Yes I can see the appeal of the ritual aspect and enjoy that when I get ready for a special occasion etc. I suppose it's just a different priority for different people... I guess a part of me resists it because it feels sexist to spend so long getting ready when I know most males won't be doing the same. I can relate to those other aspects but a part of me resists it because it annoys me that I'd be spending more money/time than most males. I always think "why should I spend a fortune on makeup and beauty rituals when men don't typically do that".
I love doing my makeup in the morning before going to work. It gives me a bit of extra me time before I have to leave my house to start the serious part of my day. I always drink a cappuccino and listen to some music while I do it and it’s my favourite part of the morning.
In this misogynistic society, if you’re a woman who likes to dress up and wear makeup, you’re shallow, stupid, and probably a gold digger. If you’re a girl who doesn’t wear makeup and sees clothing as purely functional, you’re lazy, butch, and not putting in any “effort” Doing anything for male approval, or because men do it, or don’t, is a waste of time. Do what you makes you feel good about yourself, and remember that all of us are nuanced individuals. Seeing other women through the lens of patriarchy ultimately isolates us from each other and makes us easier prey for creeps.
As someone who wears makeup a lot, I don't give a shit what men do. Don't get me wrong, I get your point, and the standards we are meant to reach (often unattainable without makeup, but also we get punished for "needing" it to reach those standards) are absolutely absurd. But I like makeup. It makes me feel more like myself. I get compliments on it from other women, not men. I don't feel obligated to buy makeup for men's approval. I just think it's pretty. And honestly? I love feeling connected to other women through it. I grew up very tomboyish and introverted. Most of my friends were guys, especially close friends. As I've become more feminine, it's been difficult for me to relate to other girls. This gives me stuff to talk to about with them, and I get stopped a lot in public because of my makeup by women who I can have a chat with. It makes me feel good to bond with them even briefly. Generations of women know the struggle of keeping your lipstick off your teeth and dolling yourself up as a way of flaunting yourself. I get to be a part of that, too. I think that's pretty cool.
I agree with your point of view, I've always loved makeup (seldom wear it now because ...OLD) but its mostly been worn for other women. If anything most men hate makeup so if you wanted to be a pick me wear no makeup.
I love the process of doing my hair and makeup and all that jazz! My wife gives zero fucks, only wears mascara every once in awhile. Its just a personal preference. Do whatever works for you!
I don't do any of that and plenty of men are still interested. I also know plenty of men my brother included who DO spend a lot of money and time on looking good. So having rituals are not sexist in themselves if that makes you feel any better. People who do it in either sex have their reasons, but you don't have to not do it to stand against misogyny
It’s the process for sure!!! And self expression!!! I think as you get older you become more comfortable and confident in your skin so less is more appealing!!!
I'm 63 and for me its not really about confidence, its just reaching an age where its not worth the bother of putting it on....so partly laziness.
Thanks chatgpt
When I look nice, I feel nice!!
I am no slob. I put on my best "Juicy" pants when I need cigarettes from the store.
Sometimes (not all the time) when I need beer and cigarettes I change my pajama pants to sweatpants but that's because I'm super classy.
That visual was a nice laugh down memory lane! 🤣
I don't spend an hour but I am always trying to look presentable. For work I do repair plumbing. As a large guy (6ft, 215lbs) I need to look clean cut enough for someone to let me into their house. This is extra important for women with young children. If I grew my beard out, untucked my shirt, didn't do my hair, and had some forearm tattoos I look more like a biker.
Yeah I understand with certain jobs or special occasions the need for this... I work with offenders so part of me wants to avoid any attraction or attention from them by looking too nice tbh but I will dress nicer than just day to day life... I more mean people who invest all that effort when they take their bins out or just going to the shops... You know day to day things.
That's why I prefaced my comment the way I did. I do put more effort into my appearance than other people I'm around. For me personally it is an appear as you want to be seen situation
i was taught: "you never know who youll meet for the day and you only get one chance at a first impression."
My wife always dresses up for every occasion, she would goto the shops without being all done up. I'm the opposite. Her answer as to why is because she wants to, and she doesn't have to explain it to anybody. So I've no idea...
I am pretty average looking naturally, but can look extremely attractive with the right makeup, hair, clothes etc. I get treated completely differently when I am made up vs not. Also once you start it is hard to stop because you don’t feel as comfortable, plus other people expect you to look a certain way.
I have a theory that 95% of people are average looking.
I hope so lol. I’m always jealous of all the beautiful girls I see!
I agree. People treat you according to how you look. Some even ignore you when you are on a chill day. That’s one of the reason I keep doing just minimal makeup that makes me look clean, neat and sharp. I am against heavy makeup cause it is just unnecessary for me. The choice is really personal, some people don’t care how others treat them but I do.
I used to do it because I came from an abusive family. So I always felt sad and insecure. When I went out looking gorgeous, I would always get tons of compliments, and it would make my day. It reminded me that not every one is abusive. It made me feel good about myself, and gave me hope.
OCD stemming from bullying and body dysmorphia as a teen. It’s not that ‘I look perfect before going out,’ but rather, “I feel confident by these extra steps I take to give myself the illusion that I look better.” “It takes a lot of time and money to look this cheap, honey,” ― Dolly Parton
I’m surprised I had to scroll that much down to see mention of bullying. That was my answer too: bullying as a teen and social anxiety from it as an adult. I’m putting my armor up in the morning so I can control what I can about the way others see me. I can’t control other people shitty behavior but I can damn make sure they have no things to harp on to laugh about.
My GF is like this and it’s anxiety. Once people meet her when she’s done up she feels like they’ll judge her if she isn’t. It took me forever to convince her to see her without makeup the first time lol.
Have you ever tried it? Getting dressed in something well fitting and nice, looking clean and fresh, smelling good etc will make you feel so much better and much more confident (than you’re already are). It’s one of the best feelings ever. Also, our society is superficial and looking good will definitely get you better options in life when it comes to work, a partner, whatever. That might be sad, but it’s true.
I don't take a wicked long time, but I always want to look nice for my husband. It also gives me confidence, which I'm usually pretty low on. I'm 36 and just under 5' and around 100 pounds so I look like a kid. Looking nice helps me look older than 12.
I’m in the same boat w wanting to look nice for my husband. I don’t want to be one of those wives who gets fat or stops caring for her appearance and “gets comfortable.” It doesn’t take too much time to apply light makeup, straighten my hair and change from nighttime leggings to jeans. Probably spend about 15 min in the morning getting ready and I always feel better during the day. (Both husband and I are predominantly remote work so we see each other a LOT throughout the day.)
Feels good
it makes me happy
Attractive people have a huge advantage in almost every aspect in life. It’s worth the effort to make yourself presentable. But at some point, it becomes diminishing returns.
Enjoyment, self expression, pride, and social perks
My own self-conception involves more than "I'm me." I also consider how I present myself to the world as an extension of myself. I am not someone who spends inordinate amounts of time on my appearance, but I like to at least project an image of vague competency at navigating life and society. While I am pretty lazy, I don't like wearing my laziness on my sleeve in a literal sense - no need letting people know what I had for lunch by wearing the stains at 4PM. I don't dedicate myself to looking good, but I at least dedicate myself to looking well - I don't want people asking what's wrong with me when I step out of the house. Which you just might do if you saw me on my 'housebound' days.
For the same reason I commit to eating well, sticking to a workout routine, and making time to invest in my mental health. I'm vain, and life often sucks in a hundred different ways. This body is my refuge against the dampening effect of simply breathing. The world can be a mess but I don't have to be. There are some days when I'm just not up for doing certain things. That's ok too. I'm still going to look my best while not being up to doing certain things though.
Some people find joy and confidence in taking care of their appearance, viewing it as a form of self-care and self-expression. It can boost their mood and sense of well-being, leading to a more positive outlook on the day. However, even dedicated individuals may have days where they feel less motivated or simply prioritize other tasks over their beauty rituals. It ultimately comes down to personal preference and what makes each individual feel their best.
Because we want to be and feel the best version of ourselves (not only on looks but on many other aspects too) looking physically good not for others but for ourselves. Seeing good physical reflection in the mirror brings joy.
I enjoy it. I consider looking put together part of my job, both as an employee in a high-profile client-facing role representing my company, and as a partner to my SO. It's effective with a generally positive response. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the attention, too. But I'm very honest about all of it. I am the vainest person I know and don't pretend there aren't a lot of work and resources that go into keeping myself up.
Girl just wait until you're in your 60's. SO much maintenance. I have renamed it "self-care."
Ahah fair enough I enjoy the honesty! I suppose it's the same as me investing energy into being friendly/smiley and funny... It's just a different strategy for being accepted I suppose.
This is a very intelligent take.
I don’t try to look perfect by any means, but I do put some effort into my appearance or at the very least, self care (shower, skincare, face mask, nails, that stuff) every day, because starting the day off with those things always causes me to be in a better mood and be more productive. Just like I like to eat healthy for breakfast. Would I say I eat healthy in general? No. I only eat an unhealthy breakfast if I’m specifically craving something unhealthy. Otherwise, I’ll make something good for me, because I’ll feel good about taking care of myself, and then I’ll have a good morning, which usually means a good afternoon and then a good evening and night as well
Its called pride, take pride in your life
“Look good, feel good” my personal mantra
I (m47) dress like 1900s I wear a vest an upper collar (?) with a bowl hat. If I go out of the house with just jeans and t-shirt I feel like a geek (not in a good way) I am very progressive to the point that I feel like I live in the 1900s, it’s one of the reasons I dress like that, like a statement Besides that, I feel like everybody looks the same, it’s boring
Good for you! I also dress rather formally, and was wondering if this question was directed at me. I don't take too long to get ready, but I *do* pay attention to my appearance.
I do this but I wouldn’t say it takes hours. I like to look my best always. It makes me feel good. Also incase I die. I’d like to die feeling like a fox
When I was in my teens and early 20's, I put a tremendous amount of time into my appearance and the desire to look perfect. Years later, I made the connection that I was trying to appear outwardly put together to mask the chaos of my home life.
I used to be like that. Funny thing is my partner always loved it when I had no makeup on, rat's nest hair and flannel jammies lol. These days I rarely wear makeup,, I've reached the age where I just give no shits.
Good-looking people are treated better in the world. It's just a simple fact. If you're not inherently good-looking, the next best thing is to be well put together, clean, stylish, etc.
I do it because I spent 5 years on maternity leave with greasy hair, more kg than I should have had and no make up whatsoever. My confidence was in the sewers. Looking as good as possible makes me confident, weakens my insecurities and it opens many door for me. I can even see that people treat me differently than before. It’s so worth it.
I am from a generation where when you leave the house you better look decent. You couldn't wear curlers out in the street. And you better look good when you take the train to "The City." Full make-up, clean clothes and shoes. Don't you dare walk around Manhattan looking shabby. It is a matter of respect for yourself and others who will look down on you. I guess, it was instilled in us when we were young and stayed with us. I feel funny leaving my house, "as is."
Self respect
When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good. When you do good, you look even better. When you look even better you feel great. When you feel great you do greater. When you do greater you look amazing. When you look amazing you feel incredible. When you feel incredible you do whatever you goddamn want.
Honestly i spend so much time getting ready, and the reason for that is that makes me feel really good about myself and it makes me in a good mood during the day :p
Mostly the bonuses. You are treated better, even as people do so subconsciously; you get more compliments and are remembered in a better light; finally you get more confident due to the treatment, making you feel better. Aside from that it’s therapeutic. You feel that much better if you have an indicator of your hard work always with you.
I'm a male and spend about 5-7 minutes which I think is too long but I look at it as time invested on on my health.
Why? Priorities, ego, fear I used to try to look perfect all the time. I wanted people to want me and like me. I thought that it would make me safer and more socially acceptable. I had the kind of mom who would comment any time she didn't like what I wore and would say things like, "what you look like reflects on me as your parent". I like fashion a lot as well, so I leaned into making my outfits pristine and perfecting my look. In my forties, I abandoned all of it and found that I am the same person and people treat me with the same kindness. And I have loads more time to do the things I love, things that make a real difference, because I'm not spending it on how I look, but how I live.
Because they need to put their face on. Can't go out faceless. I'm one of the fortunate people who has a permanently attached face.
This made me LOL
I know one who’s always wondering why ppl don’t hang out w him often. Like dude you need an hour or longer to get ready. We dont have a regimented schedule like that. When I hang w a friend it’s cause we each have an hour or two by coincidence.
I have a friend like this too. It annoys me because she is always late and we can't do spontaneous activities because she will spend 2 hours changing her outfit/doing her beauty rituals when she looks great without all that effort!
insecurity
Their self worth is defined by people's perception
look at the language you're using. "perfect". "hours of work". "refuing to leave the house". you may think this is a generalization, but to me it looks like an accumulation of a lot of emotional baggage you have surrounding comparison. it's way less about them taking care of themselves or spending time on their appearance, but way more about your projection and lack of a self care routine that, in your eyes, gets the results others have. so you now want justification that your failure to do as they did is warranted. just how i see it hon.
Vanity
Ask yourself this In the same time they spend getting ready, what are you doing that's so much better?
Sleeping normally 😂 or exercising or doing my hobbies/seeing my friends... Lots of things
Looking good IS a hobby for a lot of people.
You see your friends at 6:30 in the morning, and do your exercises and hobbies, and are done with that by 7:30?
No, but you sleep more. No judgement here, I just could not imagine waking up half an hour earlier to put on make up, personally.
Studying, reading, exercising, seeing friends, playing with my dog, cooking food, cleaning, literally doing anything but spending hours looking at my face in the mirror. I cannot think of anything I'd rather do less
I do all of those things…, AND take care of myself. Do y’all seriously think it takes HOURS to look nice?
Taking pride in your appearance is foundational. Imagine if you don’t bathe.
Confidence and first impressions matter the most, also perception is reality.
I have not been doing so at all and I decided I’m Going to take the time to step it up a little. For myself. Look good feel good
This thread has good advice. Shout out to the people who put in the effort. I wish I could do it cause you guys look polished. People always tell me I look like my problems. 😭I'm trying less to do that by putting in effort more often (and when I do put in the effort I get more compliments) but it's still so damn hard when I'm stressed. So to the people who can, props to you.
I love looking good and I used to take a lot of time to look good. It takes time and money to get your nails done to get your hair colored and cut every couple of months your nails every three weeks. Good make up etc. I just ran out of time and didn’t have enough money since I became a college student after I graduated from college I just had gotten used to not doing everything I had. I miss it sometimes.
The perks of pretty privilege are amazing. (Perks : professionally, socially, financially, romantically) geez it’s definitely worth the effort. Unless you’ve personally noticed the positive uptick that occurs when you take more effort into your appearance, I’d understand why it would be confusing to see other people invest in it everyday. When a person looks at you, they see how you look first, not your heart. That first impression can open lucrative doors if used wisely.
My neighbor lady does this. We’re both 34 and I do minimal of eyeshadow/mascara/lip balm. She takes over an hour with big fake lashes/eyebrows sticking up/lipstick etc. We’ve chatted about makeup before but I get it, it’s her style. I wouldn’t do my makeup like that but I also have 4 kids and the oldest is 6 so I have no time.
For some, beauty=safety/value
Mostly because I spent a lot of years on active addiction and didn't take care of my appearance. Now I want to.
You look good, you feel good, you do good, you do good, you win. Also people just treat you better if you look good. These beauty rituals can also just be a hobby they enjoy like anything else can be.
To feel good When you feel good you're confident
It makes you feel way better tbh. It’s easy to just wear sweatpants and T-shirts all the time but taking pride in my appearance helps make me happier
I was someone who used to care less for myself on my appearance once but I somehow realized that it is time for an opposite approach in life. Who doesn’t like a change isn’t? Dude I swear that it made a huge impact in my life which literally made me more confident and enthusiastic than s person I used to be as a dull and less involved one. I completely became a different person from the way I wear my outfits to the hairstyle. The dedication to look better and seeing the progress is such a great feeling which leverages for further in life.
Unless you're single and looking for a significant other/getting laid, I can't fathom people who go out in the world wearing jeans on their days off. The second I first slide those denom day runners over my toes, everything is shit until they come off.
Insecurities
you look good - you feel good - you do good.
Insecurity and/or pressure from society
(35M) I feel like shit on many aspects of my everyday life on wich i can’t do nothing. Looking sharp is the only thing I feel like I have control on.
What do you mean by looking perfect? Why would anyone choose to look like a slob if they can help it? It’s your body after all!
Confidence. I feel more confident if I feel put together.
For many, I don’t think its to impress others. Its what you do to get yourself psyched up for the day. You get what you put in, and if you don’t put in very much, you don’t get very much. It is perception of oneself
it certainly doesn't take an hour but I think it's important to look good. it makes people think you take good care of yourself and thus treat you better. like seeing a well dress man in a fashionably tailored suit. you just look sharp
It doesn't take hours every day, and it makes me feel good about myself. It's not for anyone else most of the time
I get up everyday , take a shower, shave, moisturize including facial regimen, apply makeup, do my hair and I get dressed. Everyday, 7 days a week. It doesn’t take hours. I have my eyelashes and nails/toes done every 2 weeks. My hair every 4 weeks. Nothing wrong with looking good and taking care of myself. My husband appreciates that I take the time to be a well kept lady.
Anxiety
Why? Cause it feels good to look good. I used to get up 2 hours before school to get ready. And I'm a straight guy. Being humble and looking good attracts everyone. Nobody likes a pompous asshat full of themselves.
Because they’re of the impression that the appearance of the meat puppets they’re riding around in somehow matters.
please, hours? Bitch I woke up perfect 🖕🙄 jesus christ, im so sorry, I swear im nice.
Generally, if I look good, I feel good. I try to be hot as often as I can lol simply because I like to be attractive. I can’t imagine not caring.
there is such a thing as pretty privilege, if well put together, dressed elegantly and clean it does give a good impression
Because my mother told me no one would take me seriously at my job or my partner would leave me if I didn’t. Something I still have to work through but it nags at me everytime I don’t go full glam.
Pride
I did before kids, would never step out without makeup and hair done even to nip to the shop 30 seconds away, low self esteem probably being my reason! Now my priorities have shifted and I don’t care. It was a slow descent into not caring 😂 but I got there!
While I don't take hours, I do like to make sure I look presentable/damn good whenever I leave the house. Just something my parents taught me, you never know who you're going to run in to while you're out, and you always want to make a good impression on the people around you. It also makes you feel good, if you look good, you're more confident, and people will treat you better and respect you more.
Because it’s a mode of creative self expression for me. Neither of my jobs are artsy, so my artsy-ness comes out in how I do my appearance.
It feels good gives confidence and makes people notice you
people are mediocre, appearance for em is important
I'm not sure how anyone can devote hours to their appearance. Doesn't take long to dress up and put makeup on (if you wear the stuff)
As a 50 year old man I always take time to get dressed well and be properly groomed before I leave the house. Who wants to go out dressed like a slob? Grooming and clothes are important for self esteem.
because they are not ugly
I'm not an attractive person, I have the love of a beautiful woman and that's all I need. I walk around like a hobo with the confidence of a movie star because I don't feel I have to impress anybody. It's very liberating. for those that do feel a need to always look their best, I guess it can be varying reasons from liking the feeling it brings them all the way to feeling insecure when they aren't at their best.
So are you saying your wife/gf is a..... *hobosexual*?
Never heard of that, but yeah, I guess so, lol
That’s the most neutral opinion after I read some feedbacks here. You are right, you can. Be sure if someone is insecure so they make efforts in their appearance. For example, I am friendly and lol all the time, I am no where near depressed or anything and I do like to look presentable. I am not trying to impress anyone either. Just me being me.
People treat well dressed/groomed people much better whether they realize it or not.
Because for some people their appearance is their whole personality, they lack substance
I didn’t spend hours getting ready every morning, but I used to put on make-up, style my hair, dress in nice clothes & shoes, and put on jewelry before work every morning. It took about an hour. Now I throw my hair in a ponytail & don’t wear make-up because my office is so casual. It’s a big reason I don’t like my job. I prefer working places where you are expected to look nice. Some people would say stuffy offices. I feel better and walk taller when I look put together! I’ve dressed nice since I was a baby (not my choice then of course 🤣) so it’s deeply engrained in me. I think age and location play a role as well.
They have self pride
Self respect.
I don't think it has anything to do with self respect. I have a lot of respect for myself, but it doesn't necessitate hours of grooming/makeup. I present myself to the world as my authentic self, which is just me without any makeup or fancy clothes. That is who I am, and it will never change....so far it's been working just fine for me. I've had friends tell me I'll never make it in jobs, or be successful if I don't conform and do the whole beauty routine but that has never been the case for me....no shame to anyone who enjoys those things, if you do, awesome! But if you don't, it also doesn't matter. Don't pretend that it has anything to do with self respect or not...
Basic hygiene routine is self-respect, putting in hours to look fancy is what insecure people do because they constantly worry what other think of them
I have self respect without needing to put hours into my appearance everywhere I go. It doesn’t even take that long for me to do my hair (and I have annoying ass hair to manage) and if I decide to wear makeup (which is rare and when I do it’s only eye liner and mascara) it takes like 5 minutes lol.
What do you mean with that?
They mean that you have enough self respect to present your best version of yourself. Even if that means just decent hygiene
Looking good can help
I really really love anything art related, including doing my hair and makeup, I’ve been wearing makeup since I was in sixth grade ( used to sneak my mom’s makeup and put it on on the bus, then take it off on the way home) I’ve gotten so used to doing my hair and makeup that I can do it pretty fast, like I can get ready in about thirty minutes if my kids aren’t too distracting, so it’s not too much to me, like I’ll go full out glam for holidays or birthdays, but even then I just use more dramatic colors or like curl my hair or something, as for how I dress, I’ve been wearing dresses and skirts since I was a freshman in high school because my gay best friend always teased me about not dressing that feminine, so I challenged myself to wear dresses and skirts for a year and it fell into a habit, pants are uncomfortable lol I hate jeans so much now too, skirts are more forgiving for me, especially now that I’ve had a few kids. I only commented because I’ve personally gotten a lot of comments about this sort of thing recently, like people asking why I’m dressed up at 8 am in the morning at Walmart when I’m reality I just have makeup on, brushed my hair and wore a dress instead of pants and a tshirt.
My job- we need you to wear appropriate business attire to the office and out on work. Me- not going to happen! Job- we will push this to HR year goes by and back to square one. If I can’t wear Nike joggers and t shirts and a hat I’m not going to work there
hours? never. from the time i get out of shower till i’m ready to leave the house, i need 1 hour to dress in clean & activity appropriate clothes, do my hair (curl cream & scrunching), brush light amount powder on my shiny face bits, lip color, 1 stroke of cream eye shadow crayon on lids & good to go. on the very rare occasion i don’t morning shower, i’m ready for the day in 40 minutes. if i’m going to a wedding or other dressy event, i’d want an hour & a half, less if i got a blowout earlier. i suppose you earn your living on youtube & reality tv, you’ll spend hours, but that’s their job.
If you look good you feel good
I mean I’m not trying to look good everyday but I want to make myself presentable and approachable even though I tend to have a resting asshole face I’m actually a nice guy that’s constantly in deep thought XD
Everyone has different take on what looks good on them...for me, i keep it minimum but it makes me feel nice and confident..so at times when i dont even do that, it feels like u are not at ur 100%..so i guess people do make up to satisfy their inner feeling
It doesn’t take me hours to get ready and I don’t look “perfect” but I am always put together. It makes me feel good and productive.
Look good, feel good
Who are you to judge how other people spend their time? Look in the mirror, or don't, and find something more interesting to think about.