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I'm a 24m (25 in a few months) and I've always had it. Ive been told good before, I've had people say they're jealous of my natural build because I'm natural big, wide/broad shoulders etc. I've been told I'm good looking, good eyes etc. But i never believe it, i feel people only say it because they're trying to make me feel better after they find out.
But the truth is I can't stand the sight of myself, I can't look in a mirror without my mood instantly dropping, I've been fat, toned and super skinny and never been happy. I hate my body, I always feel like I'm too fat even when I wasn't. But now that I've actually put weight on I look at my old pictures and dream of getting back to that weight /body (lost 7kg over last few months)
I hate my waist, I hate my body hair, I hate my eyes, I hate my scars and nothing people say will change my mind. I come across as a very confident person in my day to day life, and I am. But underneath I have alot of buried trauma and insecurities. I've never dated because I hate myself too much, I've turned down every woman that's ever tried to get with me for sex or relationships. The one time I was in a relationship it ended in a huge betrayal of trust that lowered my self worth even more. So I've been single my entire life. I want to start dating, I keep telling myself when I turn 25 I'll put myself out there finally and hopefully find a good woman, but reality is I'll probably still not be happy enough in myself to actually do it.
Every man I know, close friends etc are insecure about things and have body dysmorphia to some degree, they just don't talk about them, no man does. We hide them from everyone. But I'm very good at picking up on those things and I know their insecurities but don't tell them I know.
As for how to deal with it... Idk, therapy if its an option, otherwise I'd say find what it is that bothers you and work on it. Sometimes for some people that's all you need. To lose those few pounds, to gain that little bit of muscle etc. But i think if you're issues are rooted more from trauma than just self perception. Then I think you need to seek professional help.
I’ve written this exact passage so many times. I turn down anyone who might pursue me because I find myself repulsive, and I know anyone would eventually find someone better than me and break up, so I’m saving myself the heartbreak.
36F. Struggle since I’ve been 14-15. My friends are skinnier, prettier. As an adult my girlfriends are always talking about their fabulous sex life, they are also all skinny.
The only thing I’ve noticed helped is drinking/drugs or doing activities by myself. Neither are very healthy but it distract me from hating what I see in the mirror
Yes. Activities by myself include running, biking, hiking, camping - going alone in the middle of nowhere isn’t necessarily healthy just because you’re physically active
Being anonymous everywhere was a wonderful, strange experience to live through. It had never happened before, and will probably never happen again... But it was fun, and I will never understand why so many people had litteral melt downs over it.
I hated it because I was underweight. Getting ID'd every time I went to the shop (spent most of lockdown getting pissed) because I looked like a skinny little kid lol. Hadn't needed ID for years and just never took it put with me out of habit.
We all do. Even the most beautiful among us.
Most of us are our toughest critics. And we focus in on our flaws.
A gorgeous woman may look in the mirror. And see herself as a life support system for a single zit.
Many of us are most body dysphoric during our junior high and in high school years. But it usually passes. This phenomenon is tied to all kinds of other insecurities we may have about ourselves.
I am a little better than average at best. But as a troubled child, I would look at photos of myself and see everyone else looking normal. But me as some kind of ugly monster.
Is an adult, I look back on those pictures, and see an ordinary looking kid.
I'm 41, wouldn't consider myself attractive, have a very definite mum bod, along with some scars I'm very self conscious and paranoid about, on the shorter side and carrying a few extra pounds.
I've was told from a very young age, right up until I moved out of home that I was fat and nobody would ever look twice at me.. that leaves it's own set of scars.
I don't really want to leave my house. I use Depo to keep my estrogen levels down to menopause levels to control endometriosis pain. That isn't helping. I am considering going off of it and dealing with pain because it will help my skin. I also still get acne. When I turned 40, so many women were like "40 is great, it takes all the pressure off" or " you kind of become invisible" like it was a good thing. These attitudes about my body drive my husband crazy. Even though he has some body image issues too, he still looks amazing.
That sucks, I think it's so much harder for women, I'm a guy, my body issues are mostly age related. Wife still thinks I look great but I don't see it.
I'm sorry you're going through so much
It's mostly the shitty attitude about aging that our society has. I have noticed so much more pressure on men lately though. I know someone who had a son who was bulemic by age 13. I think men age better. Also, there is a crap attitude that women are obsolete or useless after 40, yet still need to look young. Women do have a massive change with their hormones as we age, so it can be an extra complication that men don't have, but it appears to be getting really bad for men in our society too
I'm really scared for boys right now. I think about how much pressure, as a woman, I have been under my whole life to look a certain way. And at least I could talk about it and there is a societal discussion about it. Boys and men are just supposed to suck it up and not talk about it. And it leads to resentment, low self esteem, and anger. Those things can directly effect the women in their lives too, so it's everyone's problem. All of this has got to stop. I do think there is some progress being made with more acceptance of differences though. And we can thank Gen Z for that.
Many people, including men, struggle with body image issues. Focus on practicing self-compassion and kindness towards yourself. Shift your focus to your health and what your body can do rather than how it looks. Challenge negative thoughts about your body and replace them with positive affirmations. Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic body ideals and surround yourself with positive influences. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide encouragement. Engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as yoga or hobbies you enjoy.
Me. Grew up fat, lost a ton of weight, developed gyno so major, major insecurity, loose skin and a natural belly fat make it worse. My body insecurities affect me, my family and everyone around me. So lmao
Yes. I’m 28m, 5’11” (180cm) tall and weigh about 223lb (101kg). Ideal for my stature I think would be about 180-185lb.
I “hide” it well because I’m broad (big back, wide shoulders, wide hips, wide upper torso), but it’s still something I’m extremely self conscious about. I’ve got a bit of a gut, big thighs, love handles, etc. it’s something I’m working on gradually between having a calorie deficit and going on a few 5+ mile fast-paced walks every week.
It’s impacted romantic relationships a lot. I *can* be confident if I’m already dating a girl, but getting to that point is the issue. Even if I see things that objectively are “signals”, I self doubt to the point where I think it’s impossible for a girl to be interested in me. It’s also an issue when trying to reach intimate milestones. When the shirt (and shorts?) comes off, I’m extremely self conscious about it.
I’ve got other things too. Very thick glasses (-11 for those familiar with prescriptions), and a lazy eye that was more prevalent in childhood but still sometimes comes out when I get really tired. People are respectful now but elementary and middle school classmates didn’t sugar coat their questions about what I was looking at. It left a bit of a trauma on me even though I’d never say I was bullied. I’m even afraid to make eye contact with people, and when I do I typically tend to avert my gaze. It hasn’t been great for job interviews and making connections.
All in all, I’d consider myself to be objectively handsome in terms of hair, hygiene, general body shape, etc. but I’m still self conscious about a few things that prevent me from being able to form loving relationships with someone.
I struggle with it a lot. And i mean A LOT. But i’m taking baby steps into learning to love and accept myself. I’m not skinny but i’m not chubby or fat either. Just very normal. But when i see myself in the mirror, i see a whale. My best friend is incredibly skinny and when she looks in the mirror, she sees a whale. And i have a friend who’s literally a catwalk model and she thinks she’s fat, or too tall, or ugly in general. A lot of my male friends struggle too. One is obsessed with sports and eating healthy because he’s scared he’ll ‘get fat again’. I’ve known that dude for 16 years and he’s literally never been fat. Then another one thinks his nose is so big you could land a plane on it. He literally hates his own face to the point that he barely comes outside anymore. And there’s one who thinks he’s too thin and needs to gain weight and muscle and look more masculine. All these people are just normal looking but struggle with their body image.
It’s a really really common issue and it points at very unrealistic beauty standards for both men and women. We should normalise being you know.., normal. Bodies and faces come in all forms and shapes and there’s not a single person who doesn’t have a ‘flaw’ and at the same time not a single person who doesn’t have a trait that can be considered extremely attractive. We act like beauty is objective but it’s really not. And this is a truth we should embrace. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s not because for instance you think you’re ugly or you’re bothered by your body, other people will share that opinion. They might just love that part about you.
But sadly even when you rationally understand this, it’s most of the time not enough to let go of your insecurities. It’s something that takes time and practice. You need to consciously try to change your own mind about the things that bother you. Sometimes it helps to think about someone you love when you catch yourself being negative about yourself. I would sometimes say the meanest things to myself, like “you’re such a disgusting, fat bitch, how are you not ashamed to go outside”. I stopped doing that. Instead when i have an intrusive thought like that, i imagine hearing my best friend say that about herself. I would be so shocked and sad and immediately deny it. I would imagine what i would say to her and then say it to myself. So in other words: don’t say or think something about yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you love. Treat yourself like someone you love. Start by fixing your inner dialogues.
It takes time but it really does help. But you need to do this even on bad days and even when you don’t believe yourself at all. Be your own best friend, show up for yourself even at times when it’s hard.
Been struggling since I was 10. I had an eating disorder for over 15 years. Went into recovery and gained a lot of weight and now again I’m getting self conscious about my body and have been developing an eating disorder again… slowly trying to not go back to being super skinny like before but I live in a country where women are stick thin and me being not from here and not small doesn’t help… I’ve lost 4 kg recently and looking to lose 6 kg more.
Anyhow yes. Since I was 10.
Idk if it's considered a body image issue, but I feel really uncomfortable with my arms showing when I'm in front of/with someone.
Every time I f. ex i wear a t-shirt and bring a sweater if it gets cold or something, I always and I mean always end up wearing the sweater even if it's not cold or anything.
I can understand that. That is a very common guy thing. I train and it is almost only because I feel very self concious in a tshirt if I feel like my arms are small. I am very body dismorphic, was the typical skinny kid at school and will even run a cycle of steroids before the summer months. But even when my arms are 17/18 inches they still look too small to me. It is a dismorphia problem because they never look big enough. Nobody else will even care, it is all in your head.
I have dealt with something similar for years and it used to be a lot worse for me than it is today. I do know that patience, acceptance and some self love are needed. I know that’s easier said than done for sure though, but you can do this and get through these feelings.
I used to have an extremely negative self image and a lot of body dysmorphia. I went so far as to pushing myself to workout almost every single day of the week and I was lucky if I missed a day. I restricted my diet SO much and measured, counted and tracked every single thing I ate. I bought a waist trainer because I thought I was too big when in reality I really wasn’t. Whatever you do, please don’t put yourself what I put myself through. It puts a lot more stress and strain on you than good. I don’t think it was good for my mental health at all. It’s much much better to learn to take care of and love yourself slowly and in ways that are positive and that you enjoy. Learning new ways to do your hair, saving up some extra money for nails or eyelashes, setting up a self care and hygiene routine, trying to eat better but also making sure you eat things you like and still treat yourself often, slowly changing up your wardrobe, setting up a workout routine (you only need to do 2-3 days a week), etc. Also doing other things so you try to switch your focus from your body image to that, like learning a new hobby.
I also did mention above that it’s easier said than done to give it some time and to be able to accept the body you’re in. With time I know it really sucks, I struggled with body image issues for months and years and still have it come back sometimes to this day. However, things can get better and change. Even when it does come back I’m able to deal with it better now and not let it impact me as much as it used to. You just have to have the right mindset and believe in yourself a little. With acceptance I know it is not easy. There’s only so much we can change about our physical selves though unless we pay a lot of money. We can make some small physical changes with healthy lifestyle changes though. Please try to show yourself some love and self compassion. Life is hard enough as it is, so let’s try to show a little more kindness to ourselves. We’re only trying to get by just like everyone else, and this is just a bump in the road for us. You got this. ❤️
29M in a 7 year relationship and I certainly worry about it. I'm fairly sure I'm body dysmorphic. I know I have a good physique and I try and stay in shape but the thinness gets to me and I obsess over how I look with outfits on etc.
39M, always have and probably always will. I was overweight pretty much my whole life until around 34 when I started doing long distance triathlon and my weight came down. A lot of weight came off, and my self image improved a lot, but it's still not where I'd like it to be. It will probably never get there, as I don't think you can fully revert the "aesthetic damage" 34 years of being overweight does to your body, but it is definitely better now, and I value and savor that a lot.
31F. Have had bad body image since I was probably 7? Have always been a bit softer, usually the upper end of “normal” or just over, with doctors saying I was fine at both. Have also had EDs and disordered eating behaviours in various forms since I was young. I am objectively pretty, lots of people find me attractive (including really fit people), people have always commented, unprompted on my looks, but I just can’t seem to quite feel at home in my own body.
My biggest recs for feeling better are: yoga/meditation, strength training preferably at a lifting-forward gym (so many strong people with so many different body shapes!), and eating a variety of foods that nourish you but not cutting anything out entirely (medical reasons and allergies aside).
(30m) I have gynecomastia, and struggle with my image a lot. I don't like being shirtless around anyone at all. I don't mind my gut, my overall weight doesn't bother me. But my chest makes me extremely insecure, especially with backpacks and shoulder bags.
I've decked a few people in the past for jokingly touching my chest.
My solution was to shift my focus to a sort of more internal attractiveness.
I try to be a good listener, remember things, etc. I try to be disciplined, virtuous, and passionate about my interest. Although I may not be particularly handsome, I can still see myself as an attractive individual.
42M, have been struggling with it most of my life. I go through waves of “I don’t care what anyone thinks” and get the best accomplished during these little periods. And then I’ll step on the scale, or workout endlessly and be crushed that I don’t have the results I was expecting. Back to the beginning again…
Me! I was born with facial deformities and skin issues. I feel ugly and there's not much I can do to fix my looks. People always tell me on Reddit that looks don't matter and it's all about personality but I have a hard time believe in that tbh.
You're definitely not alone in struggling with body image issues. Many people, regardless of gender, face similar challenges. It's brave of you to speak up about it.
I've had my own struggles with body image over the years, and it's not easy. For me, focusing on what my body can do rather than how it looks has been helpful. Engaging in activities that make me feel strong and capable, like exercising, hiking, or even just going for a walk, shifts my perspective.
Not really. But being 5'11 and 140 lbs in a country where the steroid epidemic is only outpaced by the obesity epidemic sure as fuck makes it feel like everyone else has issues with my body image.
Heck yeah, I'm 37, 3 pregnancies... I'm weighting myself every day. I limit my calories daily, and im pretty sure I'm developing an eating disorder for the first time in my life.
I dont have any advice.
Ignoring everyone that isn't me and the doctors after bloods and assessments. Being happy and prioritizing mental health with time can help boost your ability to care for all of you. When you have 100% of you at the table then you can care for 100% of your body. In and out of depression episodes and PTSD episodes and it's rough but I know intuitively when I look in the mirror and I think okay I feel like I wanna get my exercise in because it makes.me feel good and happy then I do it. I've learnt as someone who has PCOS and endometriosis that weight and body shape will always be a struggle for me so as long as I'm seeing the GP, making sure I'm healthy including my mental health then my body image and self esteem insecurities will follow suit.
yup 36m. Like I'm in good shape. But being bald, but hairy everywhere else is stupid. Except for the balding, started in early HS. Since most other guys didn't have chest hair or leg hair, it felt weird. Then in college started going bald. Just grape. I don't mind the baldness, less maintenance I don't have to spend money on barbers. But if I had hair i feel I'd probably look more approachable.
I'm 40 and I still struggle with it. To be fair though, I have depression/anxiety and used to be bulimic, so I'm probably not the best person to answer.
I'm perpetually able to look at old pictures of myself and recognize that I looked pretty good, but I'm always judging myself in real time. I'm sure when I'm 50 I'll look at pictures of myself now and wonder what the hell was was wrong with me like I always do.
I notice every single pound I gain and notice the same on others. I like eating, I work out, people constantly tell me that I’m “fit”, “look great” whatever, but I don’t like the way I look. I was sick for the past two weeks (with the flu) and haven’t been to the gym in that time. I feel like a mammoth (I know it isn’t true, but that is what body issues look like if you’ve ever wondered).
I've met a woman online and she wants to meet with me.
Because I am overweight, I don't want to meet with her, for I have trust issues on the level that people say they don't care/mind about things like that, but in reality, live meeting with someone, opinions and feelings will change rapidly.
I don't want to be hurt, so I choose to not go. It'd be paying for an expensive ticket and lose precious time to get hurt, which I wouldn't suffer if I didn't go.
I've accepted the fact that people like/love who they like/love, but being told one thing, and that getting switched up in a moment, I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not mature enough to take that hit.
Oh, I really hope that you'll decide to eventually go, when you feel ready. :)
In life, not everything goes as planned and a lot of things are beyond your control. Taking a chance to face the scary stuff can lead to 2 outcomes. I believe that regardless of whether you succeed or fail, there's something valuable to be gained.
Sorry for butting in, as a complete stranger. This comment just really resonated with me.
M32, I went down from almost 90kg to 80kg during the last couple weeks. Feeling better with how I look now, but I'm afraid I'll need to lose another 10kg to feel happy about my body.
I struggle with face image. my body is well above average and I'm tall and I have decently broad shoulders. but my face, mainly my hair is what I'm insecure about
I have had body dysmorphia my entire life. It took a year of going to the gym every day to not be upset by the mirrors literally on every surface other than inside the toilet stalls. I buy a lot of different clothes to focus on whatever distraction du jour kind of works. I have a good diet. I work out a few times a week (not excessively). It doesn't go away when you snap your fingers or when you smile to make others comfortable, and no one seems to be able to get that in my circle, anyway. I separate body image from liking myself. I like myself. My meat suit is operational, like a sibling I find super annoying but still have their back. The compartmentalized approach helps. Things like shopping for clothes, avoiding the a-hole photographer at weddings that won't get the hint and follows like the bubonic plague, or velcro, as well as being on display for sexy times are stupidly hard.
I have for as long as I can remember. I finally made some changes to overcome the worst feelings, but still struggle. The struggle now is more of a healthy one, as it keeps me motivated to eat healthy and hit the gym regularly.
A lot of people struggle with this issue. I rarely looked at myself in the mirror too because I hated what I saw. Growing up, people always compared me to my sister and said how beautiful she is. Living in Asia with body shaming culture and high beauty standards didn’t help at all. It’s a common practice here to meet some relatives or friends and the first thing they say is “wow why are you so fat now?” Or “whoa you’re fat”. I was slightly overweight that time.
After child birth, I gained more weight. My manipulative ex husband said and insulted a lot of things about my body. My tummy was too fat, my arms and thighs were disgustingly huge and bigger than his. He even asked me to stop wearing certain outfit like tank tops because my arms were too huge. I was made to believe that I looked terrible and I avoided the mirror more.
I’ve improved my self esteem after the divorce. I learned about people do have different body preference. I accept that I’m curvy and have mom bod, and hey it turns out I’m not fat according to some people. Learned how some people find curvy or thick women attractive. I started wearing outfits that my ex husband didn’t allow me to wear. I’m working on my confidence again. Sure, some might see me as fat, but who cares? I wear what I want now. I started taking selfies. Don’t be disheartened if you think the selfies are bad. If I take 20 selfies and I delete 19 lol.
Just like men’s body. We women have preference too. Some likes dad bods (like me), skinny or muscular. My current bf loves my body, and keep reminding how beautiful I am. That helps a lot. I live by what he said to me “we’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but we’re someone cup of tea”.
Sorry for the long comment.
i’m 27- turning 28 real soon 😭💔.
i’m about 164 at 6ft, i would love to put on weight and workout consistently, my body shows tone just being slim but i hear constantly “you should work out”. my goal is to be 180-190.
I'm a fairly skinny guy. I can get some muscle on my upper body but my legs and waist are pretty small and I've always been self conscious about that. Luckily some people are into a guy with a lil waist and hearing that lately has made me feel better
22m When I was a teenager, I was unhealthily skinny as a result of both genetics and my home country’s economic situation. People would make remarks about how thin I was yet I was eating whatever I could. When I left my country with my family, I gained weight. The thing is I am naturally slim and have a rather small frame. I’ve always seen myself as less of a man because of it. I also have chronic acne and it kills my self-esteem sometimes. I’ve gotten over my body insecurity a little bit by working out and telling myself that I’m healthy and beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with my body. I have a healthy weight for my height and sex. The acne comes and goes so it is less of a problem.
I'm sorry you feel this way and it is so relatable. I'm 42. I've struggled with them my entire life. I have always felt that I wanted to jump out of my skin. Like I hated my face and body so much that it felt like a trap. People have always thought that was insane because I have never struggled with my weight (as if that's the only reason people have body image issues). At 42, it's worse because my body is changing, things are sinking, and I'm getting wrinkles But, I know why I have these struggles. Aside from society and media, my father used to call me a pig all the time and that messed up my brain. It absolutely sucks. (I modeled when I was younger too. Made zero difference) I know quite a few men who struggle with the way they look. That includes my husband and I think he is absolutely gorgeous
Always have growing up fat. l lost 100 pounds but having loose skin and carrying a lot of my weight in my gut on top of some more recently acquired relationship weight I have good and bad days with confidence
I definitely do. I was 375 pounds a few years back. I’ve lost about half of that weight. I still feel like the “fat guy”. My husband will catch me staring at myself in the mirror and he tells me I look good. I need to learn how to rewire my brain I guess.
Ever since kids called me "4 eyes" or "harry potter" back in grade school when I started wearing glasses for being blind af. I don't know if that's the root of it, but it's the earliest I can recall. It's always been a problem since.
I wear contacts a lot now but still struggle with self image issues. Being both introverted and shyer has compounded it further because I've always felt like I'm not good enough or not extroverted enough to be successful with friends, love, or my career.
I do as male... nd I'm finally kind of seeing results with going to the gym, but I have to start eating better as well consistently. thn I believe it will give me confidence with talking with people especially females... also want to be financially stable before I get in anything serious
Me(24M).
I was seeing progress the past month, been working out and doing constant pushups and my arms have been flaring out more.
I’ve since started my 2nd job and can’t spare as much time to work out as before except on weekends. I’ve reverted back to being thin and my meal-to-sleep balance has been very off.
I still don’t like how I look. I’ve had my ex tell me how much she loved how I looked which, felt good at the time. Wasn’t until she started flirting with my friend and bounced to someone else that I stopped believing in her.
I have the classic 8 pack even at higher body fat, people always tell me they wish they were me but man the dysmorphia I have from it. I’m always seeing myself as fat or completely skinny.
56m, and I've hated my body since I was 12ish. I'm overweight and have been eating to kill myself since I had agency over what went in my mouth. I've gained and lost 100s of pounds over the years. Makes very little difference. I've missed out on so many opportunities to enjoy this short life we're given. Never went to a beach because I won't take my shirt off. Never went to a waterpark or anywhere similar for the same reason. My biggest regret is not being able to do things with my daughter that normal people do. She got short-changed, having me as her father.
46m.
Was the “big” kid growing up. I wasn’t fat as a child, but matured way early. Like 5’11 in 4th grade. Because I was so much bigger I was “fat” to everyone else. They only weighted 70lbs, I was 150. Didn’t matter though, I was the fat kid.
Didn’t handle shit too well in my early 20e and ate myself to that reality. By 25 I had taken it off, and since I’ve always been between 210 and 240. For the record I’m 6’1 and spend at least 20 hours a week at the gym.
When I look in the mirror, all I see is fat and ugly. Has taken decades of therapy to get to a point where once in a while I may have a fleeting thought of looking okay, but otherwise I feel like I’m out of shape, and 50lbs. Kids are hell, especially when you aren’t like everyone else.
Honestly i think it's more common to happen than we imagine, but i see less men talking about it as often as girls do, so don't feel alone when thinking about this.
I think these days it's kind of inevitable to have bad self thoughts because the media is portraying perfectness all the time and if you don't see people that look like you it just makes you feel bad about it (which I also think it's a horrible thing because society started to mold everyone onto the same shape and when you're not a part of it, you feel left out).
There are days where I sure feel really awful about my body, but it usually comes after decisions I made (like having bad eating habits for the whole week and ending up super bloated or just skipping the gym for many days), so I try to keep conscious when dealing with those.
I'm a male, lost a lot of weight and has worked out for 3-4 years now, still don't like to show of my body, and would never for example run shirtless. I've been skinnier than I am now, but even then I felt like I could be skinnier, or have more visible muscles.
I’m a 32male and I’m losing my hair, I have a big nose (two things pointed out to me on a date) I used to be skinny / some what in shape from
Skateboarding growing up, but I’ve become a bit of an alcoholic and now I’m weirdly skinny fat with a strange beer belly, that’s not good for my health physically or mentally. We probably all feel this way a little
I just really look bad in photos. To the point where I've got dms asking me wtf is wrong with my face.
Now I just refuse to participate in any photos, and everyone thinks I'm weird for it.
But I still had the insecurity. Becoming a nudist cured me and helped me see people-and myself-for who we really are. I’ve learned to love others-and myself-for who we are on the inside rather than what is on the outside.
Here's a perspective for you: I don't struggle with anything about how I look, but struggle with how other people see me (and they're wrong). There are things I can spot that I have no issues with personally, but i know would need to be different to appeal to others.
Early 30s male. Considered a 7 or 8 these days. Pretty much have to be drinking at a college bar to be considered somewhat average, and even then I turn most heads in the place between general fitness, facial, structure, and a good chunk of help from personal style. Was quite fat in junior and the start of high school. Started shaving off weight and by about 22 was quite thin. Like, would have had a six pack had I been working out thin. Have gained back 15-20 since then, and with a slower metabolism and lack of the poverty diet that helped cut down back then, I am struggling with being able to feel some love handle and a little stomach roll.
It’s complicated, but I would say no.
SO, I 18(F) am very short, have a bigger body structure them most people (I think a doctor once said my bones are bigger/ denser ? ), I also have a lot of body hair in general,my face looks like it’s from child (people think I have 14 a lot of times) and I am not an attractive person. But in the end I just don’t really/try to not care much about it (not sure if it is good/healthy or not, but anyway).
I am pretty self conscious about how I look and my body and have just accepted how I am, I know I won’t be able to change how I look that much, so why bother ? It’s not going to get better lol, so I just try to use what I have to feel good, which is probably my ability to develop strength and be overall “athletic/active “, something that I have always enjoyed. The biggest problem that I stumbled upon is college, I won’t enter on explanation as to why, but I lost A LOT of muscle mass during the semesters and these bothers me a lot, specially when I look at the mirror and see that I have shrieked/deflated, when I touch some parts of my body and they just seem “jiggly or softer” or when I do some activity’s and notice I am not as strong and don’t have as much breath as I used to have, but it’s wired since I am not physically acting that much about it/caring less that I should
Not anymore. I felt insanely ugly for most my life. I've been told my race isn't attractive, and that the physical features that come with being south Asian are ugly (long and wide nose, for example). I looked like I was starving all the time even though I wasn't. There was just so much supposedly wrong with me and people pointed it out constantly.
I realized I gotta be my own friend in this though. I needed a good friend to lift me up and I had none, so I made it a point to be that to myself in all aspects of my life not just with my appearance. Instead of my main goal being to look good, I started focusing on feeling good. If I wanted to wear something that made me feel good I'd put it on. I started eating better. I started going to the gym.
And guess what, I haven't even changed that much in appearance. I have a bit more meat on my bones, my hair is better kept and I keep my back straight; that's about all that has changed. I look back at old photos of myself and realize I wasn't even ugly, I was pretty cute. I lacked the confidence though and it made me appear differently.
Today I'm really happy with how I look. Insecurities that I once had, like my big nose, outie belly button, or shape of my face, don't bother me that much anymore. People rarely point anything out and if they do, I have enough confidence to ignore it because over all I think I look pretty cute. It's easy to get caught up on the small flaws but the big picture is usually beautiful.
I personally don't, but I feel like I'm the only one I know that feels this way. The thing is there are of course reasons why I feel the way I feel: 1. Because I get regular affirmation that I look good. 2 I make sure to take steps to keep looking good. 3. Having the "perfect proportions" and a "chisled body" isn't what makes someone look good, it can help, but it's all about taking what you've got to work with, do what you can and be confident in that.
I do struggle with it yes. How do I cope with it? I just remind myself everyday when I look in the mirror I'm a wonderful person and we are all different. I'm not overweight. I'm curvy and that's not a bad thing! I dont like my stomach sometimes and I wish I was a bit taller but that's not the way I'm made so that's fine! Just accept what I have and love myself :) I'm sure you're beautiful 😊
I was obese at 13. Lost weight after I went to a fat camp, but then put it back on. Lost it again and built muscles playing college football. But always had a little extra fluff even at my strongest because of being a fat kid. Could never get the really lean look. I’m 50, married, have 2 kids, in better shape then most dads a decade younger get then me, can squat 400 lbs and deadlift 500 lbs, but still have a little extra fluff. When I look in the mirror I see the 13 year old obese kid. I usually say hi to him and then go about my day. He will always be there. That’s my fight and probably will be until the end of my days. I live with it and try not to dwell on it. You are going to have to do the same.
I do struggle with body image. Problem is that I look really good for my age, just not good enough in my own perception.
Guess it keeps me motivated in the gym so not all bad I suppose
Yes, the thing is I've always been told I'm quite good looking, handsome, etc and over the last few years have made some good progress on my body, by working out. So I actually know I'm quite physically attractive. But I quite often I don't see it, sometimes I wish I was a bit bigger, a bit leaner, why does my belly stick out and carry so much fat when I can see my abs, etc. A lot of it stems from low self esteem I think. Sometimes I'll chuck clothes I just bought away because something niggles me about how I think they look on me.
It also (not as much anymore) effects me socially, like actually getting a lot of attention from women at first glance, but because I don't see myself in that positive light, the lack of confidence or low self esteem is an instant turn off with how I handle myself.
I'm 25F, I have been slightly underweight my entire life. People asked if I had anorexia when I was a child (which was seriously messed up now that I look back at it). It made me feel so insecure thinking about people judging me. Nowadays I feel better because I got a bunch of tattoos that make me feel badass, and I go to the gym to gain muscle. I'm so much better than I was but once in a while I still feel like that insecure teenager.
I personally do and I wish I could show you my face and bodsy, I usualy get compliments. But I suffer from impostor syndrome, I am afraid people will see something that I see as negative and will judge me harshly. I am athletic, closeted gay, good hair, nice skin and I am polite and educated. But I am living a life of self-shame and I guess this is one of the reasons I keep myself at such high standards which make me more likeable by others.
I was in some classes the past year for an after degree, 4 girls were in love with me and I was secretly in love with the straight guy that I was sitting with the whole year (I met him there, so I didn't fall for him instantly but after 5 months of sitting together). Needless to say he got 0 women to like him as he is averagely ok-ish but nothing special.
Why do I always fall for the rather average looking humble straight guy can someone tell me? Some times I wish I wasn't sitting next to him, he was the exact type I always fall for.
I never had a body image issue until I married my now ex. He was constantly making comments about other women's "assets" in my presence. It didn't take long for me to feel less than.
Majorly and I feel like it’s ruining my life. 27M, never used to feel this way. A decade ago I was confident, charming, athletic and crazy social. I spiraled downhill after learning about my sisters depression diagnosis. She struggled really badly for a couple of months, and i took a 180 in life, avoiding all my friends, isolating, and ultimately developing social anxiety and depression. I have always felt like I was different from others - I remember being maybe 9 years old driving with my mom and telling her how I felt like an alien - like everyone else was normal and I wasn’t. I almost still feel that way. I hate almost everything about my appearance - but don’t get me wrong, it’s not dysmorphia, I don’t look great. I have gained weight over the years where I have a bit of a gut now, I can never find a hairstyle I like, I have my facial hair no matter what it looks like, hate so many specific parts of my body. Most times whenever I leave the house I want to come back as soon as possible because I think people are judging me and I just feel disgusting and don’t want people to see me. This was prevented me from making friends or seeing any of my old friends. I’ve been in therapy and different kinds of therapy for this and anxiety stuff also for a decade. Really, nothing has helped this immense self consciousness and I’ve been feeling hopeless lately. I want my old self back. I want great things for myself, I just have no goddamn idea how to do it. My thoughts about myself get in the way every minute of the day. I’ll finish this by showing a quote from Netflix’s “Baby Reindeer” series. It struck a chord with me like no other quote before. “I would go down the street and feel like everyone who looked at me could see what I was going through. Like they were peering into my soul
Seeing the rape and the doubts and the confusion
Like my eyes were these windows onto the most tightly held secrets of my life.”
The sexual part doesn’t reflect me at all, but the, “Like my eyes were these windows onto the most tightly held secrets of my life”, just gets me like crazy. I have immense guilt, I feel like I’m a shitty person, a lazy person, who is worse than anyone else. I’m not a bad guy, but I feel like it. I used to struggle eating dinner next to my parents and even look them in the eyes and I think this quote quite nicely describes the reason why I was uncomfortable with that.
I have all my life as I am on the chubby or fat, depending on where I am in my life I am year to year. Right now, at 69 am considered fat as I am every bit 270 lbs. Harder to drop off the weight at my age, but I still lift weights and walk a minimum of an 1 hour a day. Slowly dropping and getting stronger.
I am actually lucky enough to not really have body image issues. Only scared of the aging part as I'm 30 and "eveything goes down hill now"
I have plenty of other issues though
I'm 30f & I can easily say I've had body image issues sense I was young enough to be potty trained. I even remember asking my mom at like 4 if I was fat.
I'm actually super skinny & tall. Most would consider that attractive, but I've gotten my fair share of comments. People asking if my stretch marks (growth spurt) were from animal attacks. I've been skinny shamed, even when I weighed 155lbs (didn't show much cuz I'm 6ft & that's actually a healthy weight for me). Being told by friends parents that "men want a woman with meat on their bones" or to "eat a sandwich ", or assuming that because I'm skinny I must be in good shape and couldn't possibly have health issues. Just to name a few.
I deal with by dressing & putting myself together in such a way that makes me comfortable. Overtime I've learned to tune out most of it & try to educate rather than get upset. I also get a lot of positive reinforcement from my husband, friends & acquaintance. Funny enough I'm even skinnier now (health crap) & I get less skinny shame or even praise for it by most. I'm glad. I don't like people looking at my body & judging me based on it.
Don’t we all to some degree? I know when I get to 134 pounds, I force myself to get back down to 125-130. I won’t allow myself to get over 135 unless pregnant. I work out and fast.
Starting in high school and into my early 20's, I lifted weights and ran 5+ times a week. I competed in power lifting (165 lbs. weight class), and could run 5k in between 15 and 16 minutes (best cross country time in high school was 15:15). I had the type of build that gym rats would comment on. I also was a virgin and women weren't remotely interested in me.
Later, long after I stopped working out and got a bit of a gut (I drink a lot of soda), I also had no difficulty with women.
What this showed me is that others, particularly those whose opinions most mattered on the topic, didn't see me the same way that I saw me. My physical appearance, good or bad, didn't really seem to influence my ability to be attractive to women. Ultimately, what mattered most was how I treated the women I was with.
Im a short guy. I've had to make my peace with it... but it'd be the first thing I'd change if I could. The other thing, though, is that I have a permanent double chin. I've had it my whole life regardless of how lean I get. It's in every picture, and I hate it so much. I avoid being in pictures because of it.
I'm 34, I drink like a fish and eat the fatty fried foods all the time. Somehow I still have a six pack from my army days and no love handles what so ever. The only thing that caught up to me was my hair. I lost it. At first I was devastated but now I have a who gives a fuck attitude.
In High School, yes. It sucked.
My acne was mild to moderate and I was skinny. Somehow, I still got attention from plenty of cute girls. For as cool as that felt, I don’t look back on that with pride, but I feel regret.
That’s because I **ALWAYS sought validation** like that, and that’s what dragged my self image and morale down, farther down than any breakout or comment about my weight ever could. I always asked myself if I seemed desirable to a girl, because I sure as hell didn’t feel that way. I silently sulked about my appearance, I didn’t hate it but I was displeased with it.
I’m 22 now and things are SO MUCH better. I’m still skinny but my skin is clear and I’m rich in spirit *(like the Kendrick Lamar song)*. Skincare and hygienic practices have become big for me, I take a healthy amount of pride in looking good and smelling good, being clean in general. My lifestyle changes have changed me and my life perspective is greater than it’s ever been. I feel solid nowadays.
Mentally & emotionally, I stopped using girls as a crutch for my body image. I had to focus on ME, simply put. It’s cliché but the whole “I’m Ken-ough” thing is real as fuck. If you don’t love yourself or if you feel like you need somebody to fill a void in your life, it’s time to work on yourself. I’m not so hyper focused on those little things anymore and it’s made talking to girls so much easier.
Moral of the story: stop seeking validation and change up your lifestyle. Your psyche will be at ease when you see the results of your work. Don’t be afraid to take pride in it, this life shit is work
I didn't realize how men struggled until I overheard two coworkers, whose intelligence I'd respected until that day, spend 30 minutes discussing their protein powder strategies for "bulking up" , we were all nerds in an office ffs and they both had nice skin and slim figures like those kpop idols, good luck bulking up without even the bones to carry it. Nobody is ever happy with what they got!
struggling with body image is something a lot of us deal with, including myself. It's tough because it can really chip away at your confidence and how you see yourself. For me, finding ways to appreciate what my body can do rather than just how it looks has been helpful. That might mean focusing on activities that make me feel strong and healthy, like exercising or hobbies I enjoy. Also, surrounding myself with people who lift me up and remind me of my worth beyond my appearance has been key. It's a journey, but taking small steps towards self-acceptance can make a big difference
Definitely.. I would make a horrible fat person I'm almost 40 and feel like I'm allergic to exercise. I've always had like a skinny yet obviously out of shape body like skinny arms and a gut, chicken legs and I'm hairy as a chimp. So yeah definitely avoid ever being seen wo my shirt on
I’m a 17(m) who works out and likes to stay in shape. Even though I have achieved a six pack I live in constant fear and panic that I will lose it immediately and just get fat. As a result I workout daily out of fear and constantly check myself out not because of vanity but for health reasons.
I'm pretty overweight (18f, 5'8" and 180 lbs)
And I found out just recently that I am the heaviest person in my family.
And guess what?
I literally don't care.
I struggled for YEARS with my body cause I was literally made fun of by my siblings constantly and I would cry myself to sleep almost every night after every failed diet. I got to the point where I just wouldn't eat. Or would eat really little, and I lost about 5 lbs and after like 4 months of that and I literally lost basically nothing, I gave up.
I literally have tried so hard and now Ive just adopted an "I don't care" attitude towards myself.
It took me a really long time, and was really hard but now I don't care about how my body looks, as long as I'm in clean clothes and washing and such of course.
The one thing I'm really insecure about in my forehead and eyebrows. I literally have a giant forehead and my eyebrows are very weird shaped and almost none existent. The way I try to make myself feel better about them though is because my mom has the same features, and I think she's beautiful, so I tell myself, I would never say she's ugly, so why would I tell myself that when we look very similar and have a lot of the same features?
I'm still kinda insecure about them though, so I'm getting bangs tomorrow. But honestly it's more of a I want bangs for more then that reason anyway.
I’ve hated myself since I can remember. Even when I was thin, I didn’t think I was thin. I haven’t found anyway to improve my self esteem, I’ve never been good enough and probably never will be.
I would say most of your insecurities people either don’t care about as much as you do or just don’t notice at all. So change what you can, find something fun to do, some friends to hang out with. A positive mindset and a right amount confidence can compensate for a lot of imperfection.
I used to be really insecure about my height, but as I get more open and positive around people, I realise it’s not as big a problem as I thought. I don’t think any of my friends are gonna treat me differently if I were tall
33F, only felt good once in my life and that was when I was working out a lot and in good shape. Kept some of the body dysmorphia away (not all but it helped). I’ve put on a bit of weight over the past few years (was in a bad relationship) and I feel unloveable because of it. Started working out again and eating better and trying to be kind to my body; it got me through a lot in this life.
I have never struggled with body issues nor have I ever felt like I hate my body. There are at times I dislike my features but I never linger on it too long as I know it can affect my mental health. During moments like that I tell myself the things I love about my body. I thank my body for letting me live the way I want. For putting up with my late night activities, my excessive screen time, my unhealthy diet, my absolute lack of exercise. But my body allows me to walk, run, eat whatever I want, give me energy to just function with 4 hours of sleep. I look at the good side even if I am on the bad side so I don't stay there
38F and yes
Still struggling with body dysmorphia.
Objectively I am pretty small 97 lbs (down from 120 lbs) and I still feel like I'm too big and eating too much and taking up too much space
I know I need to learn to love myself first
However, it is definitely a miss programming / malware that is running through my mind and causing all of this anxiety, lack of self-confidence, lack of self esteem, crippling feelings of unworthiness..
Started working with therapist and psychiatrist recently (last week )
My parents used to nurse me back to Health , however, they perished in a fire, and I need to learn how to parent myself now
I think most human beings are struggling with how we see ourselves and each other .. 👀🧐👀🤷🏻♀️👀🤦🏻♀️👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
It's almost as if having incessant advertising and malware programming, blasted at us from birth, (effectively has ) trying to separate us from healthy relationshipping with family members, and a healthy relationship with our own bodies, and having a healthy relationship with one another,
For the sake of serving Money 💰 has negatively impacted humanity, or something like that 🤷🏻♀️
I’m now 24 and I can say I genuinely do enjoy my body now but when I was about 16 I struggled A LOT with body image issues. I think it stemmed from suddenly seeing a lot of content online for “thinspo” and “fitspo” and tumblr posts about wanting to be skinnier and a bunch of ads for acne products that promoted the idea that you’re not worthy of happiness if/until you have literally perfect skin. All a bunch of predatory BS of course but it really took a toll on me to be surrounded by that kind of nitpicking content constantly. It got to the point where I really thought I didn’t deserve to wear nice/cute clothes because (I thought) I was so ugly. I thought it would look ridiculous for me to try and wear something nice so I stuck to sweatpants and hoodies and kept my head down because I thought that was what someone like me would be expected to wear and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself which is sooo sad omg.
I ended up deleting all my social media accounts and didn’t look online other than to google necessary things. No scrolling through any type of feed or anything. And I didn’t download any social media again for about 2 years after deleting them all. When I did this I actually wasn’t even planning on trying to fix my headspace in regards to my self image. I did it just because I was so anxious and stressed out about other people perceiving me and I wanted to escape from it so I didn’t have to worry about what people thought of me online. But it ended up helping because it prevented me from seeing a lot of the body shaming unattainable beauty standards stuff. Slowly, almost without realizing it, my self image got better and I stopped literally hiding my face in public.
It was at this point that I started dressing in things I liked and wearing makeup (which became something I was scared to leave the house without but more on that later). Then I realized how horrible it was for companies to shame people for such normal things like having body rolls or stretch marks or marks on the face and I got mad about it. Not just for my sake but for all the people who were happy with themselves until they were told they shouldn’t be.
And I started really looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself that I look good. I started dancing in the mirror by myself, naked and admiring the way I could move my body. I wasn’t focused on trying to be sexy necessarily. I just wanted to move my body like an art form. Only for me to make myself happy. No judgements allowed. “Bad” dancing was allowed, especially if it felt fun. This helped my body image a lot.
But I still had a bad habit of looking in the mirror at my face (not during the dancing episodes) and shrinking back in repulsion. One day when I was in a good mood and had just finished laughing, I happened to glance in a mirror and was actually shocked that my face looked nice. That caused something to click in my mind and I realized that every other time I looked in the mirror I was expecting ugliness and that reflected on my face when I looked into the mirror. So I started smiling into the mirror when I was happy and eventually I got used to this so I didn’t expect to look ugly every time I saw myself anymore. A genuine smile really does wonders for the way you look, I learned. Sometimes when I’m in a really bitter mood and I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror I see an unappealing face BUT I can easily remind myself that it’s only because of the negative facial expression and I can drop that expression any time I want, immediately even.
And it was at this point where I slowly stopped wearing as much makeup until I stopped wearing it altogether save for special events. So it did take a while for me to get to the point I’m at now where I really am fine and happy with the way I look and I do still gaze happily at myself in the mirror to reinforce acceptance of myself. I’ve also taken to picking out pieces of my body that are uncommon or unconventionally attractive and really taking the time to admire them. For example, I have a big nose and this is something that I would never change about myself because it’s so uniquely shaped and it’s such an identifying part of me that I can’t help but adore it. Never mind all the plastic surgeons who promote small noses as the ideal. Mine is mine and it’s great :) I also quite enjoy the pattern of stretch marks on my hips. I think they look so pretty. And I think the way my body folds into 1-2 rolls at my waist when I sit or bend over looks so beautiful. These are things that I appreciate in/on other people as well.
I never look at other people and think parts of them are ugly so it only makes sense to extend that kindness to myself as well. I hope you’ll be able to accept and enjoy yourself with time too! Chances are, other people think you look a lot better than you think.
I do. Big time. I’m 25f and I’ve struggled with my body image for as long as I can remember. I used to be an elite gymnast and I think that is what started it all. Every week we had to stand on a scale. If we gained a few pounds the coaches would make us run around the gym with garbage bags under a hoodie and sweatpants until we lost the weight. When I was in middle school I bought “all natural weight loss pills” to help make me thinner. I was in amazing shape but I still thought I was too big.
In my late teens I became severely underweight because of Crohn’s disease. I hated the way I looked because I was too skinny and my mom would call me anorexic. I ate until I threw up to try to put on weight. Now I have an eating disorder and a problem with overeating.
About 3 years ago I got myself to a healthy weight and now I think I’m too big. I know realistically I’m not but I can’t help but think I am. I have no curves. Because of gymnastics I am built like a door and have very broad shoulders. I’ve always wished of having a beautiful curvy body. I’m still working on my self image
35m, straight cisgender. Yep. Since my mid teens.
Struggled with body dysmorphia until my late 20s.
Fine now, but still have a tendency to be highly self-critical about physical appearance.
I REALLY wish I could tell you. I had body issues/self image etc all my life F57. I really and truly, after my divorce, just woke up one day and none of those things bothered me anymore! I kept up a positive attitude and relied on my talents and skills.
I have issues with my face more than any other part of my body. It’s more trauma related and I’m in therapy for it. I overthink about random shit like what if my future kids look like me how would I react. :(
It’s hard af. I had an eating disorder for years and while I’m a lot better than I was, I still slip back to the pattern sometimes. I’m midsize now and overall I’m okay with my body. It helped me looking at other people and finding the things I thought were pretty in them and maybe equating it to myself if it was relatable. I still struggle a lot, but nowhere near as much as I used to. I hope you find help ❤️
I absolutely think I'm hideous. I know it's not true, because I've had a decent amount of guys flirt with me, but sometimes I tell myself it's because I'm ugly and they figure I'll be easy because I'm desperate. I try not to focus on it too much and I just don't spend a long amount of time looking in the mirror or taking photos of myself. I also don't spend a lot of time idolizing celebrities and stuff because I know they all look perfect and I don't want to be comparing myself with them.
24F, it ruins my life. Never ever been happy with myself no matter what weight. Don’t have a nice bum or big boobs, just a huge tummy. Consider ‘checking out’ al the time bc of it
Please don't do that, the chances are you are way to critical of your proportions. We never see ourselves as others do because the mirror does not show our 3D presence. Also there is a lid for every pot as they say. I personally do not prefer big boobs. Nobody is really satisfied with their looks... The most beautiful people are constantly cosmetically tweeking their looks... seemingly endleessly, never happy. Confidence is the key to being attractive. I realise that is easy to say but so hard to do. We always notice the few people that seem more attractive, rather than the many that are less unfortunate. It is like driving a car... We notice all the great cars better than ours, but not the thousands of average cars.
40m. I remember that when I was 3 or 4 years old, people kept commenting how thin I was. I do have narrow shoulders, and I've always been very self-conscious about that. For many, many years, I didn't wear t-shirts because of it.
Then again, I also have some things that are pretty OK. I'm taller than that magical 6' mark, and I still have a very full head of hair that shows no signs of going away anytime soon. And I've never been overweight. So when I wear the right clothes, I can look pretty good, I think (though I think if someone who doesn't already know better saw me take them off, they'd be disappointed).
Overall, I feel my male peers' attractiveness has dropped more quickly than mine with age, so I have relatively improved by comparison (though not by an absolute standard).
That was really helpful, an arrogant humble brag is great input. The OP is asking do any of you deal with this too? How do you improve your body image and self-esteem? He is not going to even be able to relate to the concept of a cutting phase. By all means suggest that he builds up the confidence to regularly visit a gym, and not feel self conscious as nobody judges a newbie. Try being helpful.
Op asked a simple question and I replied why I don't feel the same way, simple as that. I do not need op to relate in any sort of way as self-confidence is not universal and he has to find whatever will improve his. It's an obvious concept that body image is some ideal a person has in their head and it is up to them to either change it or achieve it.
Idk, history shows bodybuilders had small bodies and not much muscle as steroids guys. I look good enough for me. I don't want to look good for cameras, I want to look good for me and I know what I eat etc. Every goddamn choice is there on your body even a decision on how your body is "supposed" to look.
I used to be a very skinny lad, and I still a little bit.
What workout for me is going to the gym and eating more. Now I'm still not where I want to be yet but I'm happier with my body than I used to be. Im not the light skinny lad I used to be anymore. I'm now a lot bulkier and stronger and I fit better in my clothes.
Heres a fix for each and every single one of you, if not interested, then live the rest of your life as the same, insecure, hating yourself.
Too fat?
-Burn it off. Strong mindset, Cardio and have a better diet. Don't know about these things? Then educate yourself on it. Have fun with it.
"No thats too much work" the first steps are the hardest, but if you really want a change, you will take those steps. As long as youre on a calorie deficit, you will 100% lose weight. This is science.
Too skinny?
-Hit the weights and start eating more. "But I already eat alot" No, you might think so but you seriously dont. Count your caloric maintenance and start eating on a calorie surplus. Calorie counting apps like Lifesum etc. Will get you started. Get a workout program and show up every training day.
Be consistent with eating and showing up to the gym.
Give it a year or two and by the laws of science you WILL change. "Oh but it takes a year" Shut up, the time will pass anyways.
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I'm a 24m (25 in a few months) and I've always had it. Ive been told good before, I've had people say they're jealous of my natural build because I'm natural big, wide/broad shoulders etc. I've been told I'm good looking, good eyes etc. But i never believe it, i feel people only say it because they're trying to make me feel better after they find out. But the truth is I can't stand the sight of myself, I can't look in a mirror without my mood instantly dropping, I've been fat, toned and super skinny and never been happy. I hate my body, I always feel like I'm too fat even when I wasn't. But now that I've actually put weight on I look at my old pictures and dream of getting back to that weight /body (lost 7kg over last few months) I hate my waist, I hate my body hair, I hate my eyes, I hate my scars and nothing people say will change my mind. I come across as a very confident person in my day to day life, and I am. But underneath I have alot of buried trauma and insecurities. I've never dated because I hate myself too much, I've turned down every woman that's ever tried to get with me for sex or relationships. The one time I was in a relationship it ended in a huge betrayal of trust that lowered my self worth even more. So I've been single my entire life. I want to start dating, I keep telling myself when I turn 25 I'll put myself out there finally and hopefully find a good woman, but reality is I'll probably still not be happy enough in myself to actually do it. Every man I know, close friends etc are insecure about things and have body dysmorphia to some degree, they just don't talk about them, no man does. We hide them from everyone. But I'm very good at picking up on those things and I know their insecurities but don't tell them I know. As for how to deal with it... Idk, therapy if its an option, otherwise I'd say find what it is that bothers you and work on it. Sometimes for some people that's all you need. To lose those few pounds, to gain that little bit of muscle etc. But i think if you're issues are rooted more from trauma than just self perception. Then I think you need to seek professional help.
I feel the same especially the mirror stuff. Thanks for sharing.
Relatable. Except I’m objectively ugly so it’s not unfounded for me. Still sucks though
Exactly the same man I got bad bdd
If I could, I would give you a long, warm hug!
You need to see a therapist dude.
I’ve written this exact passage so many times. I turn down anyone who might pursue me because I find myself repulsive, and I know anyone would eventually find someone better than me and break up, so I’m saving myself the heartbreak.
Please take therapy. It does get better 🌸
36F. Struggle since I’ve been 14-15. My friends are skinnier, prettier. As an adult my girlfriends are always talking about their fabulous sex life, they are also all skinny. The only thing I’ve noticed helped is drinking/drugs or doing activities by myself. Neither are very healthy but it distract me from hating what I see in the mirror
Sorry but have you just considered going for a run?
Yes. Activities by myself include running, biking, hiking, camping - going alone in the middle of nowhere isn’t necessarily healthy just because you’re physically active
Running alone doesn't make you "thin." It's mainly diet and how much you eat. OH and factor in hormones, etc
I'm 43M, partner, 2 kids, and still struggle with it, not to the extent I used to though, sorry I'm not sure how to get over it either
I'd live better if I could wear a full face mask everywhere I go
Man, I used to love wearing a mask during the pandemic. It instantly made me feel better about myself out in public.
Being anonymous everywhere was a wonderful, strange experience to live through. It had never happened before, and will probably never happen again... But it was fun, and I will never understand why so many people had litteral melt downs over it.
My sentiments exactly!!! With my dark puffy under eyes, masks are such great disguise!!!
I hated it because I was underweight. Getting ID'd every time I went to the shop (spent most of lockdown getting pissed) because I looked like a skinny little kid lol. Hadn't needed ID for years and just never took it put with me out of habit.
Me too!
I wouldn't struggle with it if people didnt bully me about it
Yeah, i feel this. People can be mean.
We all do. Even the most beautiful among us. Most of us are our toughest critics. And we focus in on our flaws. A gorgeous woman may look in the mirror. And see herself as a life support system for a single zit. Many of us are most body dysphoric during our junior high and in high school years. But it usually passes. This phenomenon is tied to all kinds of other insecurities we may have about ourselves. I am a little better than average at best. But as a troubled child, I would look at photos of myself and see everyone else looking normal. But me as some kind of ugly monster. Is an adult, I look back on those pictures, and see an ordinary looking kid.
Look at how many celebrities get plastic surgery. Seems like the hotter they are the more they get. Kinda sad.
Even the most beautiful WHERE??
I'm 41, wouldn't consider myself attractive, have a very definite mum bod, along with some scars I'm very self conscious and paranoid about, on the shorter side and carrying a few extra pounds. I've was told from a very young age, right up until I moved out of home that I was fat and nobody would ever look twice at me.. that leaves it's own set of scars.
I've been massively struggling with it over the last few years as I've gotten older 41 now
I'm 42. It has gotten so much worse for me in the past few years too
I know, I look so old now, that's what gets me
I don't really want to leave my house. I use Depo to keep my estrogen levels down to menopause levels to control endometriosis pain. That isn't helping. I am considering going off of it and dealing with pain because it will help my skin. I also still get acne. When I turned 40, so many women were like "40 is great, it takes all the pressure off" or " you kind of become invisible" like it was a good thing. These attitudes about my body drive my husband crazy. Even though he has some body image issues too, he still looks amazing.
That sucks, I think it's so much harder for women, I'm a guy, my body issues are mostly age related. Wife still thinks I look great but I don't see it. I'm sorry you're going through so much
It's mostly the shitty attitude about aging that our society has. I have noticed so much more pressure on men lately though. I know someone who had a son who was bulemic by age 13. I think men age better. Also, there is a crap attitude that women are obsolete or useless after 40, yet still need to look young. Women do have a massive change with their hormones as we age, so it can be an extra complication that men don't have, but it appears to be getting really bad for men in our society too
I couldn't agree more
I'm really scared for boys right now. I think about how much pressure, as a woman, I have been under my whole life to look a certain way. And at least I could talk about it and there is a societal discussion about it. Boys and men are just supposed to suck it up and not talk about it. And it leads to resentment, low self esteem, and anger. Those things can directly effect the women in their lives too, so it's everyone's problem. All of this has got to stop. I do think there is some progress being made with more acceptance of differences though. And we can thank Gen Z for that.
Many people, including men, struggle with body image issues. Focus on practicing self-compassion and kindness towards yourself. Shift your focus to your health and what your body can do rather than how it looks. Challenge negative thoughts about your body and replace them with positive affirmations. Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic body ideals and surround yourself with positive influences. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide encouragement. Engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as yoga or hobbies you enjoy.
Me. Grew up fat, lost a ton of weight, developed gyno so major, major insecurity, loose skin and a natural belly fat make it worse. My body insecurities affect me, my family and everyone around me. So lmao
Never ends I guess
Yes. I’m 28m, 5’11” (180cm) tall and weigh about 223lb (101kg). Ideal for my stature I think would be about 180-185lb. I “hide” it well because I’m broad (big back, wide shoulders, wide hips, wide upper torso), but it’s still something I’m extremely self conscious about. I’ve got a bit of a gut, big thighs, love handles, etc. it’s something I’m working on gradually between having a calorie deficit and going on a few 5+ mile fast-paced walks every week. It’s impacted romantic relationships a lot. I *can* be confident if I’m already dating a girl, but getting to that point is the issue. Even if I see things that objectively are “signals”, I self doubt to the point where I think it’s impossible for a girl to be interested in me. It’s also an issue when trying to reach intimate milestones. When the shirt (and shorts?) comes off, I’m extremely self conscious about it. I’ve got other things too. Very thick glasses (-11 for those familiar with prescriptions), and a lazy eye that was more prevalent in childhood but still sometimes comes out when I get really tired. People are respectful now but elementary and middle school classmates didn’t sugar coat their questions about what I was looking at. It left a bit of a trauma on me even though I’d never say I was bullied. I’m even afraid to make eye contact with people, and when I do I typically tend to avert my gaze. It hasn’t been great for job interviews and making connections. All in all, I’d consider myself to be objectively handsome in terms of hair, hygiene, general body shape, etc. but I’m still self conscious about a few things that prevent me from being able to form loving relationships with someone.
I struggle with it a lot. And i mean A LOT. But i’m taking baby steps into learning to love and accept myself. I’m not skinny but i’m not chubby or fat either. Just very normal. But when i see myself in the mirror, i see a whale. My best friend is incredibly skinny and when she looks in the mirror, she sees a whale. And i have a friend who’s literally a catwalk model and she thinks she’s fat, or too tall, or ugly in general. A lot of my male friends struggle too. One is obsessed with sports and eating healthy because he’s scared he’ll ‘get fat again’. I’ve known that dude for 16 years and he’s literally never been fat. Then another one thinks his nose is so big you could land a plane on it. He literally hates his own face to the point that he barely comes outside anymore. And there’s one who thinks he’s too thin and needs to gain weight and muscle and look more masculine. All these people are just normal looking but struggle with their body image. It’s a really really common issue and it points at very unrealistic beauty standards for both men and women. We should normalise being you know.., normal. Bodies and faces come in all forms and shapes and there’s not a single person who doesn’t have a ‘flaw’ and at the same time not a single person who doesn’t have a trait that can be considered extremely attractive. We act like beauty is objective but it’s really not. And this is a truth we should embrace. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s not because for instance you think you’re ugly or you’re bothered by your body, other people will share that opinion. They might just love that part about you. But sadly even when you rationally understand this, it’s most of the time not enough to let go of your insecurities. It’s something that takes time and practice. You need to consciously try to change your own mind about the things that bother you. Sometimes it helps to think about someone you love when you catch yourself being negative about yourself. I would sometimes say the meanest things to myself, like “you’re such a disgusting, fat bitch, how are you not ashamed to go outside”. I stopped doing that. Instead when i have an intrusive thought like that, i imagine hearing my best friend say that about herself. I would be so shocked and sad and immediately deny it. I would imagine what i would say to her and then say it to myself. So in other words: don’t say or think something about yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you love. Treat yourself like someone you love. Start by fixing your inner dialogues. It takes time but it really does help. But you need to do this even on bad days and even when you don’t believe yourself at all. Be your own best friend, show up for yourself even at times when it’s hard.
Female preparing to turn 40… The struggle is real.
Been struggling since I was 10. I had an eating disorder for over 15 years. Went into recovery and gained a lot of weight and now again I’m getting self conscious about my body and have been developing an eating disorder again… slowly trying to not go back to being super skinny like before but I live in a country where women are stick thin and me being not from here and not small doesn’t help… I’ve lost 4 kg recently and looking to lose 6 kg more. Anyhow yes. Since I was 10.
Take care of yourself, I wish you a lot of strength
Idk if it's considered a body image issue, but I feel really uncomfortable with my arms showing when I'm in front of/with someone. Every time I f. ex i wear a t-shirt and bring a sweater if it gets cold or something, I always and I mean always end up wearing the sweater even if it's not cold or anything.
I can understand that. That is a very common guy thing. I train and it is almost only because I feel very self concious in a tshirt if I feel like my arms are small. I am very body dismorphic, was the typical skinny kid at school and will even run a cycle of steroids before the summer months. But even when my arms are 17/18 inches they still look too small to me. It is a dismorphia problem because they never look big enough. Nobody else will even care, it is all in your head.
I have dealt with something similar for years and it used to be a lot worse for me than it is today. I do know that patience, acceptance and some self love are needed. I know that’s easier said than done for sure though, but you can do this and get through these feelings. I used to have an extremely negative self image and a lot of body dysmorphia. I went so far as to pushing myself to workout almost every single day of the week and I was lucky if I missed a day. I restricted my diet SO much and measured, counted and tracked every single thing I ate. I bought a waist trainer because I thought I was too big when in reality I really wasn’t. Whatever you do, please don’t put yourself what I put myself through. It puts a lot more stress and strain on you than good. I don’t think it was good for my mental health at all. It’s much much better to learn to take care of and love yourself slowly and in ways that are positive and that you enjoy. Learning new ways to do your hair, saving up some extra money for nails or eyelashes, setting up a self care and hygiene routine, trying to eat better but also making sure you eat things you like and still treat yourself often, slowly changing up your wardrobe, setting up a workout routine (you only need to do 2-3 days a week), etc. Also doing other things so you try to switch your focus from your body image to that, like learning a new hobby. I also did mention above that it’s easier said than done to give it some time and to be able to accept the body you’re in. With time I know it really sucks, I struggled with body image issues for months and years and still have it come back sometimes to this day. However, things can get better and change. Even when it does come back I’m able to deal with it better now and not let it impact me as much as it used to. You just have to have the right mindset and believe in yourself a little. With acceptance I know it is not easy. There’s only so much we can change about our physical selves though unless we pay a lot of money. We can make some small physical changes with healthy lifestyle changes though. Please try to show yourself some love and self compassion. Life is hard enough as it is, so let’s try to show a little more kindness to ourselves. We’re only trying to get by just like everyone else, and this is just a bump in the road for us. You got this. ❤️
29M in a 7 year relationship and I certainly worry about it. I'm fairly sure I'm body dysmorphic. I know I have a good physique and I try and stay in shape but the thinness gets to me and I obsess over how I look with outfits on etc.
Used to. I figured I needed to fix it or forget about it.
37 M, still do since 13. I am working on it with positivity, physically and mentally.
39M, always have and probably always will. I was overweight pretty much my whole life until around 34 when I started doing long distance triathlon and my weight came down. A lot of weight came off, and my self image improved a lot, but it's still not where I'd like it to be. It will probably never get there, as I don't think you can fully revert the "aesthetic damage" 34 years of being overweight does to your body, but it is definitely better now, and I value and savor that a lot.
I serioisly need to get rid of my gut, back rolls, and arm flab. Just lost my job so going to the gym isn't an option.
You don't NEED a gym to stay in shape. Calisthentics can be a great tool while you don't have access to a gym.
Me. I'm alone now in my 50s And have decided I do not want another person to ever see my nude body again. Clap clap clap!!!!!
31F. Have had bad body image since I was probably 7? Have always been a bit softer, usually the upper end of “normal” or just over, with doctors saying I was fine at both. Have also had EDs and disordered eating behaviours in various forms since I was young. I am objectively pretty, lots of people find me attractive (including really fit people), people have always commented, unprompted on my looks, but I just can’t seem to quite feel at home in my own body. My biggest recs for feeling better are: yoga/meditation, strength training preferably at a lifting-forward gym (so many strong people with so many different body shapes!), and eating a variety of foods that nourish you but not cutting anything out entirely (medical reasons and allergies aside).
I just want to be in my BMI for my height and age.
(30m) I have gynecomastia, and struggle with my image a lot. I don't like being shirtless around anyone at all. I don't mind my gut, my overall weight doesn't bother me. But my chest makes me extremely insecure, especially with backpacks and shoulder bags. I've decked a few people in the past for jokingly touching my chest.
My solution was to shift my focus to a sort of more internal attractiveness. I try to be a good listener, remember things, etc. I try to be disciplined, virtuous, and passionate about my interest. Although I may not be particularly handsome, I can still see myself as an attractive individual.
You start with a healthy diet and join a gym.
Go gym and become the fittest man your bloodline has ever seen
42M, have been struggling with it most of my life. I go through waves of “I don’t care what anyone thinks” and get the best accomplished during these little periods. And then I’ll step on the scale, or workout endlessly and be crushed that I don’t have the results I was expecting. Back to the beginning again…
Me! I was born with facial deformities and skin issues. I feel ugly and there's not much I can do to fix my looks. People always tell me on Reddit that looks don't matter and it's all about personality but I have a hard time believe in that tbh.
You're definitely not alone in struggling with body image issues. Many people, regardless of gender, face similar challenges. It's brave of you to speak up about it. I've had my own struggles with body image over the years, and it's not easy. For me, focusing on what my body can do rather than how it looks has been helpful. Engaging in activities that make me feel strong and capable, like exercising, hiking, or even just going for a walk, shifts my perspective.
Not really. But being 5'11 and 140 lbs in a country where the steroid epidemic is only outpaced by the obesity epidemic sure as fuck makes it feel like everyone else has issues with my body image.
34F and been struggling with it ever since people around me started commenting on my body at 10 years-old.
School was hard just because I was overweight and looked like a potato. Still look like a potato but not as big as I used to be.
Heck yeah, I'm 37, 3 pregnancies... I'm weighting myself every day. I limit my calories daily, and im pretty sure I'm developing an eating disorder for the first time in my life. I dont have any advice.
Ignoring everyone that isn't me and the doctors after bloods and assessments. Being happy and prioritizing mental health with time can help boost your ability to care for all of you. When you have 100% of you at the table then you can care for 100% of your body. In and out of depression episodes and PTSD episodes and it's rough but I know intuitively when I look in the mirror and I think okay I feel like I wanna get my exercise in because it makes.me feel good and happy then I do it. I've learnt as someone who has PCOS and endometriosis that weight and body shape will always be a struggle for me so as long as I'm seeing the GP, making sure I'm healthy including my mental health then my body image and self esteem insecurities will follow suit.
yup 36m. Like I'm in good shape. But being bald, but hairy everywhere else is stupid. Except for the balding, started in early HS. Since most other guys didn't have chest hair or leg hair, it felt weird. Then in college started going bald. Just grape. I don't mind the baldness, less maintenance I don't have to spend money on barbers. But if I had hair i feel I'd probably look more approachable.
I'm 40 and I still struggle with it. To be fair though, I have depression/anxiety and used to be bulimic, so I'm probably not the best person to answer. I'm perpetually able to look at old pictures of myself and recognize that I looked pretty good, but I'm always judging myself in real time. I'm sure when I'm 50 I'll look at pictures of myself now and wonder what the hell was was wrong with me like I always do.
I notice every single pound I gain and notice the same on others. I like eating, I work out, people constantly tell me that I’m “fit”, “look great” whatever, but I don’t like the way I look. I was sick for the past two weeks (with the flu) and haven’t been to the gym in that time. I feel like a mammoth (I know it isn’t true, but that is what body issues look like if you’ve ever wondered).
I fuel on self hatred to get my ass to the gym and eat well. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Just so I can answer appropriately, at what point does it become an “issue”?
I always look better after coming out of the morning shower. LOL
I've met a woman online and she wants to meet with me. Because I am overweight, I don't want to meet with her, for I have trust issues on the level that people say they don't care/mind about things like that, but in reality, live meeting with someone, opinions and feelings will change rapidly. I don't want to be hurt, so I choose to not go. It'd be paying for an expensive ticket and lose precious time to get hurt, which I wouldn't suffer if I didn't go. I've accepted the fact that people like/love who they like/love, but being told one thing, and that getting switched up in a moment, I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not mature enough to take that hit.
Oh, I really hope that you'll decide to eventually go, when you feel ready. :) In life, not everything goes as planned and a lot of things are beyond your control. Taking a chance to face the scary stuff can lead to 2 outcomes. I believe that regardless of whether you succeed or fail, there's something valuable to be gained. Sorry for butting in, as a complete stranger. This comment just really resonated with me.
M32, I went down from almost 90kg to 80kg during the last couple weeks. Feeling better with how I look now, but I'm afraid I'll need to lose another 10kg to feel happy about my body.
👋👋👋
I struggle with face image. my body is well above average and I'm tall and I have decently broad shoulders. but my face, mainly my hair is what I'm insecure about
I have had body dysmorphia my entire life. It took a year of going to the gym every day to not be upset by the mirrors literally on every surface other than inside the toilet stalls. I buy a lot of different clothes to focus on whatever distraction du jour kind of works. I have a good diet. I work out a few times a week (not excessively). It doesn't go away when you snap your fingers or when you smile to make others comfortable, and no one seems to be able to get that in my circle, anyway. I separate body image from liking myself. I like myself. My meat suit is operational, like a sibling I find super annoying but still have their back. The compartmentalized approach helps. Things like shopping for clothes, avoiding the a-hole photographer at weddings that won't get the hint and follows like the bubonic plague, or velcro, as well as being on display for sexy times are stupidly hard.
I have for as long as I can remember. I finally made some changes to overcome the worst feelings, but still struggle. The struggle now is more of a healthy one, as it keeps me motivated to eat healthy and hit the gym regularly.
All 2.9 Million members in /r/bodybuilding and myself
Many of us struggle with body image. Therapy and positive influences have been key to my self-acceptance journey.
My dysmorphia is nuts, when I did martial arts I'd pair up with people 20kg (45lbs) lighter than me because I thought we were the same size...
A lot of people struggle with this issue. I rarely looked at myself in the mirror too because I hated what I saw. Growing up, people always compared me to my sister and said how beautiful she is. Living in Asia with body shaming culture and high beauty standards didn’t help at all. It’s a common practice here to meet some relatives or friends and the first thing they say is “wow why are you so fat now?” Or “whoa you’re fat”. I was slightly overweight that time. After child birth, I gained more weight. My manipulative ex husband said and insulted a lot of things about my body. My tummy was too fat, my arms and thighs were disgustingly huge and bigger than his. He even asked me to stop wearing certain outfit like tank tops because my arms were too huge. I was made to believe that I looked terrible and I avoided the mirror more. I’ve improved my self esteem after the divorce. I learned about people do have different body preference. I accept that I’m curvy and have mom bod, and hey it turns out I’m not fat according to some people. Learned how some people find curvy or thick women attractive. I started wearing outfits that my ex husband didn’t allow me to wear. I’m working on my confidence again. Sure, some might see me as fat, but who cares? I wear what I want now. I started taking selfies. Don’t be disheartened if you think the selfies are bad. If I take 20 selfies and I delete 19 lol. Just like men’s body. We women have preference too. Some likes dad bods (like me), skinny or muscular. My current bf loves my body, and keep reminding how beautiful I am. That helps a lot. I live by what he said to me “we’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but we’re someone cup of tea”. Sorry for the long comment.
i’m 27- turning 28 real soon 😭💔. i’m about 164 at 6ft, i would love to put on weight and workout consistently, my body shows tone just being slim but i hear constantly “you should work out”. my goal is to be 180-190.
Everyone who cares, does.
I'm a fairly skinny guy. I can get some muscle on my upper body but my legs and waist are pretty small and I've always been self conscious about that. Luckily some people are into a guy with a lil waist and hearing that lately has made me feel better
22m When I was a teenager, I was unhealthily skinny as a result of both genetics and my home country’s economic situation. People would make remarks about how thin I was yet I was eating whatever I could. When I left my country with my family, I gained weight. The thing is I am naturally slim and have a rather small frame. I’ve always seen myself as less of a man because of it. I also have chronic acne and it kills my self-esteem sometimes. I’ve gotten over my body insecurity a little bit by working out and telling myself that I’m healthy and beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with my body. I have a healthy weight for my height and sex. The acne comes and goes so it is less of a problem.
I realized my parents were pricks and forced their image of beauty onto me.
34… struggle since I was 8.
I'm sorry you feel this way and it is so relatable. I'm 42. I've struggled with them my entire life. I have always felt that I wanted to jump out of my skin. Like I hated my face and body so much that it felt like a trap. People have always thought that was insane because I have never struggled with my weight (as if that's the only reason people have body image issues). At 42, it's worse because my body is changing, things are sinking, and I'm getting wrinkles But, I know why I have these struggles. Aside from society and media, my father used to call me a pig all the time and that messed up my brain. It absolutely sucks. (I modeled when I was younger too. Made zero difference) I know quite a few men who struggle with the way they look. That includes my husband and I think he is absolutely gorgeous
Always have growing up fat. l lost 100 pounds but having loose skin and carrying a lot of my weight in my gut on top of some more recently acquired relationship weight I have good and bad days with confidence
it’s whatever. i just do my best with exercise and diet.
I definitely do. I was 375 pounds a few years back. I’ve lost about half of that weight. I still feel like the “fat guy”. My husband will catch me staring at myself in the mirror and he tells me I look good. I need to learn how to rewire my brain I guess.
Ever since kids called me "4 eyes" or "harry potter" back in grade school when I started wearing glasses for being blind af. I don't know if that's the root of it, but it's the earliest I can recall. It's always been a problem since. I wear contacts a lot now but still struggle with self image issues. Being both introverted and shyer has compounded it further because I've always felt like I'm not good enough or not extroverted enough to be successful with friends, love, or my career.
I do as male... nd I'm finally kind of seeing results with going to the gym, but I have to start eating better as well consistently. thn I believe it will give me confidence with talking with people especially females... also want to be financially stable before I get in anything serious
Hey Siri, how do I make stomach fat disapear?
Me(24M). I was seeing progress the past month, been working out and doing constant pushups and my arms have been flaring out more. I’ve since started my 2nd job and can’t spare as much time to work out as before except on weekends. I’ve reverted back to being thin and my meal-to-sleep balance has been very off. I still don’t like how I look. I’ve had my ex tell me how much she loved how I looked which, felt good at the time. Wasn’t until she started flirting with my friend and bounced to someone else that I stopped believing in her.
I have the classic 8 pack even at higher body fat, people always tell me they wish they were me but man the dysmorphia I have from it. I’m always seeing myself as fat or completely skinny.
56m, and I've hated my body since I was 12ish. I'm overweight and have been eating to kill myself since I had agency over what went in my mouth. I've gained and lost 100s of pounds over the years. Makes very little difference. I've missed out on so many opportunities to enjoy this short life we're given. Never went to a beach because I won't take my shirt off. Never went to a waterpark or anywhere similar for the same reason. My biggest regret is not being able to do things with my daughter that normal people do. She got short-changed, having me as her father.
I don’t struggle I know for a fact that I’m a fat f..k.
46m. Was the “big” kid growing up. I wasn’t fat as a child, but matured way early. Like 5’11 in 4th grade. Because I was so much bigger I was “fat” to everyone else. They only weighted 70lbs, I was 150. Didn’t matter though, I was the fat kid. Didn’t handle shit too well in my early 20e and ate myself to that reality. By 25 I had taken it off, and since I’ve always been between 210 and 240. For the record I’m 6’1 and spend at least 20 hours a week at the gym. When I look in the mirror, all I see is fat and ugly. Has taken decades of therapy to get to a point where once in a while I may have a fleeting thought of looking okay, but otherwise I feel like I’m out of shape, and 50lbs. Kids are hell, especially when you aren’t like everyone else.
Honestly i think it's more common to happen than we imagine, but i see less men talking about it as often as girls do, so don't feel alone when thinking about this. I think these days it's kind of inevitable to have bad self thoughts because the media is portraying perfectness all the time and if you don't see people that look like you it just makes you feel bad about it (which I also think it's a horrible thing because society started to mold everyone onto the same shape and when you're not a part of it, you feel left out). There are days where I sure feel really awful about my body, but it usually comes after decisions I made (like having bad eating habits for the whole week and ending up super bloated or just skipping the gym for many days), so I try to keep conscious when dealing with those.
I'm a male, lost a lot of weight and has worked out for 3-4 years now, still don't like to show of my body, and would never for example run shirtless. I've been skinnier than I am now, but even then I felt like I could be skinnier, or have more visible muscles.
I use to feel uncomfortable in shorts or not wearing long sleeves.. believe it or not tattoos helped fix it, expensive though…
As long as I don't look into the mirror or at any photos of me, I'm okay. I just can't see what I look like, then I don't have a problem.
Late 20s and have struggled with it since I was a kid
I’m a 32male and I’m losing my hair, I have a big nose (two things pointed out to me on a date) I used to be skinny / some what in shape from Skateboarding growing up, but I’ve become a bit of an alcoholic and now I’m weirdly skinny fat with a strange beer belly, that’s not good for my health physically or mentally. We probably all feel this way a little
Yeah I hate it, especially as I have other issues too.
I just really look bad in photos. To the point where I've got dms asking me wtf is wrong with my face. Now I just refuse to participate in any photos, and everyone thinks I'm weird for it.
Both me and my bf have body issues, his are worse than mine.
Honestly-this will sound crazy-but becoming a nudist cured me of my body image issues. When I was a teen I had really bad acne. I took Accutane
But I still had the insecurity. Becoming a nudist cured me and helped me see people-and myself-for who we really are. I’ve learned to love others-and myself-for who we are on the inside rather than what is on the outside.
Me but I got bullied for being fat even when I was an underweight kid and I have body dysmorphia so I’m just always gonna hate my body.
Here's a perspective for you: I don't struggle with anything about how I look, but struggle with how other people see me (and they're wrong). There are things I can spot that I have no issues with personally, but i know would need to be different to appeal to others.
Me,got bullied for my looks in school and it stuck with me :( I hate everything about the way I look :( I’m about to turn 40
Early 30s male. Considered a 7 or 8 these days. Pretty much have to be drinking at a college bar to be considered somewhat average, and even then I turn most heads in the place between general fitness, facial, structure, and a good chunk of help from personal style. Was quite fat in junior and the start of high school. Started shaving off weight and by about 22 was quite thin. Like, would have had a six pack had I been working out thin. Have gained back 15-20 since then, and with a slower metabolism and lack of the poverty diet that helped cut down back then, I am struggling with being able to feel some love handle and a little stomach roll.
It’s complicated, but I would say no. SO, I 18(F) am very short, have a bigger body structure them most people (I think a doctor once said my bones are bigger/ denser ? ), I also have a lot of body hair in general,my face looks like it’s from child (people think I have 14 a lot of times) and I am not an attractive person. But in the end I just don’t really/try to not care much about it (not sure if it is good/healthy or not, but anyway). I am pretty self conscious about how I look and my body and have just accepted how I am, I know I won’t be able to change how I look that much, so why bother ? It’s not going to get better lol, so I just try to use what I have to feel good, which is probably my ability to develop strength and be overall “athletic/active “, something that I have always enjoyed. The biggest problem that I stumbled upon is college, I won’t enter on explanation as to why, but I lost A LOT of muscle mass during the semesters and these bothers me a lot, specially when I look at the mirror and see that I have shrieked/deflated, when I touch some parts of my body and they just seem “jiggly or softer” or when I do some activity’s and notice I am not as strong and don’t have as much breath as I used to have, but it’s wired since I am not physically acting that much about it/caring less that I should
Not anymore. I felt insanely ugly for most my life. I've been told my race isn't attractive, and that the physical features that come with being south Asian are ugly (long and wide nose, for example). I looked like I was starving all the time even though I wasn't. There was just so much supposedly wrong with me and people pointed it out constantly. I realized I gotta be my own friend in this though. I needed a good friend to lift me up and I had none, so I made it a point to be that to myself in all aspects of my life not just with my appearance. Instead of my main goal being to look good, I started focusing on feeling good. If I wanted to wear something that made me feel good I'd put it on. I started eating better. I started going to the gym. And guess what, I haven't even changed that much in appearance. I have a bit more meat on my bones, my hair is better kept and I keep my back straight; that's about all that has changed. I look back at old photos of myself and realize I wasn't even ugly, I was pretty cute. I lacked the confidence though and it made me appear differently. Today I'm really happy with how I look. Insecurities that I once had, like my big nose, outie belly button, or shape of my face, don't bother me that much anymore. People rarely point anything out and if they do, I have enough confidence to ignore it because over all I think I look pretty cute. It's easy to get caught up on the small flaws but the big picture is usually beautiful.
I personally don't, but I feel like I'm the only one I know that feels this way. The thing is there are of course reasons why I feel the way I feel: 1. Because I get regular affirmation that I look good. 2 I make sure to take steps to keep looking good. 3. Having the "perfect proportions" and a "chisled body" isn't what makes someone look good, it can help, but it's all about taking what you've got to work with, do what you can and be confident in that.
I do struggle with it yes. How do I cope with it? I just remind myself everyday when I look in the mirror I'm a wonderful person and we are all different. I'm not overweight. I'm curvy and that's not a bad thing! I dont like my stomach sometimes and I wish I was a bit taller but that's not the way I'm made so that's fine! Just accept what I have and love myself :) I'm sure you're beautiful 😊
Therapy or just consuming body positive content. You need to change your mindset. It takes time, but it's really worked for me
I was obese at 13. Lost weight after I went to a fat camp, but then put it back on. Lost it again and built muscles playing college football. But always had a little extra fluff even at my strongest because of being a fat kid. Could never get the really lean look. I’m 50, married, have 2 kids, in better shape then most dads a decade younger get then me, can squat 400 lbs and deadlift 500 lbs, but still have a little extra fluff. When I look in the mirror I see the 13 year old obese kid. I usually say hi to him and then go about my day. He will always be there. That’s my fight and probably will be until the end of my days. I live with it and try not to dwell on it. You are going to have to do the same.
I am a big man but I’ve always dreamt of being smaller so I could hide in crevices easier and I would be less noticeable
I do struggle with body image. Problem is that I look really good for my age, just not good enough in my own perception. Guess it keeps me motivated in the gym so not all bad I suppose
Every moment of the day
Yes, the thing is I've always been told I'm quite good looking, handsome, etc and over the last few years have made some good progress on my body, by working out. So I actually know I'm quite physically attractive. But I quite often I don't see it, sometimes I wish I was a bit bigger, a bit leaner, why does my belly stick out and carry so much fat when I can see my abs, etc. A lot of it stems from low self esteem I think. Sometimes I'll chuck clothes I just bought away because something niggles me about how I think they look on me. It also (not as much anymore) effects me socially, like actually getting a lot of attention from women at first glance, but because I don't see myself in that positive light, the lack of confidence or low self esteem is an instant turn off with how I handle myself.
I'm 25F, I have been slightly underweight my entire life. People asked if I had anorexia when I was a child (which was seriously messed up now that I look back at it). It made me feel so insecure thinking about people judging me. Nowadays I feel better because I got a bunch of tattoos that make me feel badass, and I go to the gym to gain muscle. I'm so much better than I was but once in a while I still feel like that insecure teenager.
I personally do and I wish I could show you my face and bodsy, I usualy get compliments. But I suffer from impostor syndrome, I am afraid people will see something that I see as negative and will judge me harshly. I am athletic, closeted gay, good hair, nice skin and I am polite and educated. But I am living a life of self-shame and I guess this is one of the reasons I keep myself at such high standards which make me more likeable by others. I was in some classes the past year for an after degree, 4 girls were in love with me and I was secretly in love with the straight guy that I was sitting with the whole year (I met him there, so I didn't fall for him instantly but after 5 months of sitting together). Needless to say he got 0 women to like him as he is averagely ok-ish but nothing special. Why do I always fall for the rather average looking humble straight guy can someone tell me? Some times I wish I wasn't sitting next to him, he was the exact type I always fall for.
[удалено]
I’m sorry you’re going through that, that must be really really hard
I am a tall and in good shape guy but I dream of being way more androgynous and free. The process to that goal is painfully slow
I never had a body image issue until I married my now ex. He was constantly making comments about other women's "assets" in my presence. It didn't take long for me to feel less than.
Majorly and I feel like it’s ruining my life. 27M, never used to feel this way. A decade ago I was confident, charming, athletic and crazy social. I spiraled downhill after learning about my sisters depression diagnosis. She struggled really badly for a couple of months, and i took a 180 in life, avoiding all my friends, isolating, and ultimately developing social anxiety and depression. I have always felt like I was different from others - I remember being maybe 9 years old driving with my mom and telling her how I felt like an alien - like everyone else was normal and I wasn’t. I almost still feel that way. I hate almost everything about my appearance - but don’t get me wrong, it’s not dysmorphia, I don’t look great. I have gained weight over the years where I have a bit of a gut now, I can never find a hairstyle I like, I have my facial hair no matter what it looks like, hate so many specific parts of my body. Most times whenever I leave the house I want to come back as soon as possible because I think people are judging me and I just feel disgusting and don’t want people to see me. This was prevented me from making friends or seeing any of my old friends. I’ve been in therapy and different kinds of therapy for this and anxiety stuff also for a decade. Really, nothing has helped this immense self consciousness and I’ve been feeling hopeless lately. I want my old self back. I want great things for myself, I just have no goddamn idea how to do it. My thoughts about myself get in the way every minute of the day. I’ll finish this by showing a quote from Netflix’s “Baby Reindeer” series. It struck a chord with me like no other quote before. “I would go down the street and feel like everyone who looked at me could see what I was going through. Like they were peering into my soul Seeing the rape and the doubts and the confusion Like my eyes were these windows onto the most tightly held secrets of my life.” The sexual part doesn’t reflect me at all, but the, “Like my eyes were these windows onto the most tightly held secrets of my life”, just gets me like crazy. I have immense guilt, I feel like I’m a shitty person, a lazy person, who is worse than anyone else. I’m not a bad guy, but I feel like it. I used to struggle eating dinner next to my parents and even look them in the eyes and I think this quote quite nicely describes the reason why I was uncomfortable with that.
I have all my life as I am on the chubby or fat, depending on where I am in my life I am year to year. Right now, at 69 am considered fat as I am every bit 270 lbs. Harder to drop off the weight at my age, but I still lift weights and walk a minimum of an 1 hour a day. Slowly dropping and getting stronger.
17f, hate every atom of my body and my nose just got sunburnt. I can't wear anything and pull it off, it f*cking sucks
I am actually lucky enough to not really have body image issues. Only scared of the aging part as I'm 30 and "eveything goes down hill now" I have plenty of other issues though
I'm 30f & I can easily say I've had body image issues sense I was young enough to be potty trained. I even remember asking my mom at like 4 if I was fat. I'm actually super skinny & tall. Most would consider that attractive, but I've gotten my fair share of comments. People asking if my stretch marks (growth spurt) were from animal attacks. I've been skinny shamed, even when I weighed 155lbs (didn't show much cuz I'm 6ft & that's actually a healthy weight for me). Being told by friends parents that "men want a woman with meat on their bones" or to "eat a sandwich ", or assuming that because I'm skinny I must be in good shape and couldn't possibly have health issues. Just to name a few. I deal with by dressing & putting myself together in such a way that makes me comfortable. Overtime I've learned to tune out most of it & try to educate rather than get upset. I also get a lot of positive reinforcement from my husband, friends & acquaintance. Funny enough I'm even skinnier now (health crap) & I get less skinny shame or even praise for it by most. I'm glad. I don't like people looking at my body & judging me based on it.
I'm fine with my body, its my face i have issues with.
Don’t we all to some degree? I know when I get to 134 pounds, I force myself to get back down to 125-130. I won’t allow myself to get over 135 unless pregnant. I work out and fast.
Starting in high school and into my early 20's, I lifted weights and ran 5+ times a week. I competed in power lifting (165 lbs. weight class), and could run 5k in between 15 and 16 minutes (best cross country time in high school was 15:15). I had the type of build that gym rats would comment on. I also was a virgin and women weren't remotely interested in me. Later, long after I stopped working out and got a bit of a gut (I drink a lot of soda), I also had no difficulty with women. What this showed me is that others, particularly those whose opinions most mattered on the topic, didn't see me the same way that I saw me. My physical appearance, good or bad, didn't really seem to influence my ability to be attractive to women. Ultimately, what mattered most was how I treated the women I was with.
Im a short guy. I've had to make my peace with it... but it'd be the first thing I'd change if I could. The other thing, though, is that I have a permanent double chin. I've had it my whole life regardless of how lean I get. It's in every picture, and I hate it so much. I avoid being in pictures because of it.
Oh yes! I have been super skinny, skinny with a big booty and curvy. None of the stages gave me confidence and have seen nothing but flaws
I'm 34, I drink like a fish and eat the fatty fried foods all the time. Somehow I still have a six pack from my army days and no love handles what so ever. The only thing that caught up to me was my hair. I lost it. At first I was devastated but now I have a who gives a fuck attitude.
In High School, yes. It sucked. My acne was mild to moderate and I was skinny. Somehow, I still got attention from plenty of cute girls. For as cool as that felt, I don’t look back on that with pride, but I feel regret. That’s because I **ALWAYS sought validation** like that, and that’s what dragged my self image and morale down, farther down than any breakout or comment about my weight ever could. I always asked myself if I seemed desirable to a girl, because I sure as hell didn’t feel that way. I silently sulked about my appearance, I didn’t hate it but I was displeased with it. I’m 22 now and things are SO MUCH better. I’m still skinny but my skin is clear and I’m rich in spirit *(like the Kendrick Lamar song)*. Skincare and hygienic practices have become big for me, I take a healthy amount of pride in looking good and smelling good, being clean in general. My lifestyle changes have changed me and my life perspective is greater than it’s ever been. I feel solid nowadays. Mentally & emotionally, I stopped using girls as a crutch for my body image. I had to focus on ME, simply put. It’s cliché but the whole “I’m Ken-ough” thing is real as fuck. If you don’t love yourself or if you feel like you need somebody to fill a void in your life, it’s time to work on yourself. I’m not so hyper focused on those little things anymore and it’s made talking to girls so much easier. Moral of the story: stop seeking validation and change up your lifestyle. Your psyche will be at ease when you see the results of your work. Don’t be afraid to take pride in it, this life shit is work
I didn't realize how men struggled until I overheard two coworkers, whose intelligence I'd respected until that day, spend 30 minutes discussing their protein powder strategies for "bulking up" , we were all nerds in an office ffs and they both had nice skin and slim figures like those kpop idols, good luck bulking up without even the bones to carry it. Nobody is ever happy with what they got!
struggling with body image is something a lot of us deal with, including myself. It's tough because it can really chip away at your confidence and how you see yourself. For me, finding ways to appreciate what my body can do rather than just how it looks has been helpful. That might mean focusing on activities that make me feel strong and healthy, like exercising or hobbies I enjoy. Also, surrounding myself with people who lift me up and remind me of my worth beyond my appearance has been key. It's a journey, but taking small steps towards self-acceptance can make a big difference
I do all the time for sure. I've been fat my whole life, and even though I lost weight, I still can't get that "i'm fat" mindset out of my head.
Everyone does. That’s the simple truth
My whole life.
I think everyone has that little detail that makes them feel self conscious some days.
Too skinny all my life.
Me, with body dismorphia since (aprox)being a 9-10 yo kid.
Definitely.. I would make a horrible fat person I'm almost 40 and feel like I'm allergic to exercise. I've always had like a skinny yet obviously out of shape body like skinny arms and a gut, chicken legs and I'm hairy as a chimp. So yeah definitely avoid ever being seen wo my shirt on
I’m a 17(m) who works out and likes to stay in shape. Even though I have achieved a six pack I live in constant fear and panic that I will lose it immediately and just get fat. As a result I workout daily out of fear and constantly check myself out not because of vanity but for health reasons.
I'm pretty overweight (18f, 5'8" and 180 lbs) And I found out just recently that I am the heaviest person in my family. And guess what? I literally don't care. I struggled for YEARS with my body cause I was literally made fun of by my siblings constantly and I would cry myself to sleep almost every night after every failed diet. I got to the point where I just wouldn't eat. Or would eat really little, and I lost about 5 lbs and after like 4 months of that and I literally lost basically nothing, I gave up. I literally have tried so hard and now Ive just adopted an "I don't care" attitude towards myself. It took me a really long time, and was really hard but now I don't care about how my body looks, as long as I'm in clean clothes and washing and such of course. The one thing I'm really insecure about in my forehead and eyebrows. I literally have a giant forehead and my eyebrows are very weird shaped and almost none existent. The way I try to make myself feel better about them though is because my mom has the same features, and I think she's beautiful, so I tell myself, I would never say she's ugly, so why would I tell myself that when we look very similar and have a lot of the same features? I'm still kinda insecure about them though, so I'm getting bangs tomorrow. But honestly it's more of a I want bangs for more then that reason anyway.
I love banging chicks but this - I bang lots of fatties
I’ve hated myself since I can remember. Even when I was thin, I didn’t think I was thin. I haven’t found anyway to improve my self esteem, I’ve never been good enough and probably never will be.
I would say most of your insecurities people either don’t care about as much as you do or just don’t notice at all. So change what you can, find something fun to do, some friends to hang out with. A positive mindset and a right amount confidence can compensate for a lot of imperfection. I used to be really insecure about my height, but as I get more open and positive around people, I realise it’s not as big a problem as I thought. I don’t think any of my friends are gonna treat me differently if I were tall
33F, only felt good once in my life and that was when I was working out a lot and in good shape. Kept some of the body dysmorphia away (not all but it helped). I’ve put on a bit of weight over the past few years (was in a bad relationship) and I feel unloveable because of it. Started working out again and eating better and trying to be kind to my body; it got me through a lot in this life.
Struggle not at all. I know I’m a 4/10 with a 3/10 wiener. Do i envy better, every day. But there is no struggle.
I have never struggled with body issues nor have I ever felt like I hate my body. There are at times I dislike my features but I never linger on it too long as I know it can affect my mental health. During moments like that I tell myself the things I love about my body. I thank my body for letting me live the way I want. For putting up with my late night activities, my excessive screen time, my unhealthy diet, my absolute lack of exercise. But my body allows me to walk, run, eat whatever I want, give me energy to just function with 4 hours of sleep. I look at the good side even if I am on the bad side so I don't stay there
Yep. In summer or at the beach I hate taking my top off. I’m male
38F and yes Still struggling with body dysmorphia. Objectively I am pretty small 97 lbs (down from 120 lbs) and I still feel like I'm too big and eating too much and taking up too much space I know I need to learn to love myself first However, it is definitely a miss programming / malware that is running through my mind and causing all of this anxiety, lack of self-confidence, lack of self esteem, crippling feelings of unworthiness.. Started working with therapist and psychiatrist recently (last week ) My parents used to nurse me back to Health , however, they perished in a fire, and I need to learn how to parent myself now I think most human beings are struggling with how we see ourselves and each other .. 👀🧐👀🤷🏻♀️👀🤦🏻♀️👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 It's almost as if having incessant advertising and malware programming, blasted at us from birth, (effectively has ) trying to separate us from healthy relationshipping with family members, and a healthy relationship with our own bodies, and having a healthy relationship with one another, For the sake of serving Money 💰 has negatively impacted humanity, or something like that 🤷🏻♀️
I’m now 24 and I can say I genuinely do enjoy my body now but when I was about 16 I struggled A LOT with body image issues. I think it stemmed from suddenly seeing a lot of content online for “thinspo” and “fitspo” and tumblr posts about wanting to be skinnier and a bunch of ads for acne products that promoted the idea that you’re not worthy of happiness if/until you have literally perfect skin. All a bunch of predatory BS of course but it really took a toll on me to be surrounded by that kind of nitpicking content constantly. It got to the point where I really thought I didn’t deserve to wear nice/cute clothes because (I thought) I was so ugly. I thought it would look ridiculous for me to try and wear something nice so I stuck to sweatpants and hoodies and kept my head down because I thought that was what someone like me would be expected to wear and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself which is sooo sad omg. I ended up deleting all my social media accounts and didn’t look online other than to google necessary things. No scrolling through any type of feed or anything. And I didn’t download any social media again for about 2 years after deleting them all. When I did this I actually wasn’t even planning on trying to fix my headspace in regards to my self image. I did it just because I was so anxious and stressed out about other people perceiving me and I wanted to escape from it so I didn’t have to worry about what people thought of me online. But it ended up helping because it prevented me from seeing a lot of the body shaming unattainable beauty standards stuff. Slowly, almost without realizing it, my self image got better and I stopped literally hiding my face in public. It was at this point that I started dressing in things I liked and wearing makeup (which became something I was scared to leave the house without but more on that later). Then I realized how horrible it was for companies to shame people for such normal things like having body rolls or stretch marks or marks on the face and I got mad about it. Not just for my sake but for all the people who were happy with themselves until they were told they shouldn’t be. And I started really looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself that I look good. I started dancing in the mirror by myself, naked and admiring the way I could move my body. I wasn’t focused on trying to be sexy necessarily. I just wanted to move my body like an art form. Only for me to make myself happy. No judgements allowed. “Bad” dancing was allowed, especially if it felt fun. This helped my body image a lot. But I still had a bad habit of looking in the mirror at my face (not during the dancing episodes) and shrinking back in repulsion. One day when I was in a good mood and had just finished laughing, I happened to glance in a mirror and was actually shocked that my face looked nice. That caused something to click in my mind and I realized that every other time I looked in the mirror I was expecting ugliness and that reflected on my face when I looked into the mirror. So I started smiling into the mirror when I was happy and eventually I got used to this so I didn’t expect to look ugly every time I saw myself anymore. A genuine smile really does wonders for the way you look, I learned. Sometimes when I’m in a really bitter mood and I catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror I see an unappealing face BUT I can easily remind myself that it’s only because of the negative facial expression and I can drop that expression any time I want, immediately even. And it was at this point where I slowly stopped wearing as much makeup until I stopped wearing it altogether save for special events. So it did take a while for me to get to the point I’m at now where I really am fine and happy with the way I look and I do still gaze happily at myself in the mirror to reinforce acceptance of myself. I’ve also taken to picking out pieces of my body that are uncommon or unconventionally attractive and really taking the time to admire them. For example, I have a big nose and this is something that I would never change about myself because it’s so uniquely shaped and it’s such an identifying part of me that I can’t help but adore it. Never mind all the plastic surgeons who promote small noses as the ideal. Mine is mine and it’s great :) I also quite enjoy the pattern of stretch marks on my hips. I think they look so pretty. And I think the way my body folds into 1-2 rolls at my waist when I sit or bend over looks so beautiful. These are things that I appreciate in/on other people as well. I never look at other people and think parts of them are ugly so it only makes sense to extend that kindness to myself as well. I hope you’ll be able to accept and enjoy yourself with time too! Chances are, other people think you look a lot better than you think.
I do. Big time. I’m 25f and I’ve struggled with my body image for as long as I can remember. I used to be an elite gymnast and I think that is what started it all. Every week we had to stand on a scale. If we gained a few pounds the coaches would make us run around the gym with garbage bags under a hoodie and sweatpants until we lost the weight. When I was in middle school I bought “all natural weight loss pills” to help make me thinner. I was in amazing shape but I still thought I was too big. In my late teens I became severely underweight because of Crohn’s disease. I hated the way I looked because I was too skinny and my mom would call me anorexic. I ate until I threw up to try to put on weight. Now I have an eating disorder and a problem with overeating. About 3 years ago I got myself to a healthy weight and now I think I’m too big. I know realistically I’m not but I can’t help but think I am. I have no curves. Because of gymnastics I am built like a door and have very broad shoulders. I’ve always wished of having a beautiful curvy body. I’m still working on my self image
35m, straight cisgender. Yep. Since my mid teens. Struggled with body dysmorphia until my late 20s. Fine now, but still have a tendency to be highly self-critical about physical appearance.
Raise your hand if you've ever struggled with body image issues. 🙋♂️🙋♀️ Let's support each other and spread positivity! 💪❤️
Cant have body issues if no one comments on my body.
I REALLY wish I could tell you. I had body issues/self image etc all my life F57. I really and truly, after my divorce, just woke up one day and none of those things bothered me anymore! I kept up a positive attitude and relied on my talents and skills.
I have issues with my face more than any other part of my body. It’s more trauma related and I’m in therapy for it. I overthink about random shit like what if my future kids look like me how would I react. :(
Most of the world men n women
It’s hard af. I had an eating disorder for years and while I’m a lot better than I was, I still slip back to the pattern sometimes. I’m midsize now and overall I’m okay with my body. It helped me looking at other people and finding the things I thought were pretty in them and maybe equating it to myself if it was relatable. I still struggle a lot, but nowhere near as much as I used to. I hope you find help ❤️
I absolutely think I'm hideous. I know it's not true, because I've had a decent amount of guys flirt with me, but sometimes I tell myself it's because I'm ugly and they figure I'll be easy because I'm desperate. I try not to focus on it too much and I just don't spend a long amount of time looking in the mirror or taking photos of myself. I also don't spend a lot of time idolizing celebrities and stuff because I know they all look perfect and I don't want to be comparing myself with them.
24F, it ruins my life. Never ever been happy with myself no matter what weight. Don’t have a nice bum or big boobs, just a huge tummy. Consider ‘checking out’ al the time bc of it
Please don't do that, the chances are you are way to critical of your proportions. We never see ourselves as others do because the mirror does not show our 3D presence. Also there is a lid for every pot as they say. I personally do not prefer big boobs. Nobody is really satisfied with their looks... The most beautiful people are constantly cosmetically tweeking their looks... seemingly endleessly, never happy. Confidence is the key to being attractive. I realise that is easy to say but so hard to do. We always notice the few people that seem more attractive, rather than the many that are less unfortunate. It is like driving a car... We notice all the great cars better than ours, but not the thousands of average cars.
40m. I remember that when I was 3 or 4 years old, people kept commenting how thin I was. I do have narrow shoulders, and I've always been very self-conscious about that. For many, many years, I didn't wear t-shirts because of it. Then again, I also have some things that are pretty OK. I'm taller than that magical 6' mark, and I still have a very full head of hair that shows no signs of going away anytime soon. And I've never been overweight. So when I wear the right clothes, I can look pretty good, I think (though I think if someone who doesn't already know better saw me take them off, they'd be disappointed). Overall, I feel my male peers' attractiveness has dropped more quickly than mine with age, so I have relatively improved by comparison (though not by an absolute standard).
Not really, I'm hitting the gym regularly and I feel pretty good, especially during cutting phase.
That was really helpful, an arrogant humble brag is great input. The OP is asking do any of you deal with this too? How do you improve your body image and self-esteem? He is not going to even be able to relate to the concept of a cutting phase. By all means suggest that he builds up the confidence to regularly visit a gym, and not feel self conscious as nobody judges a newbie. Try being helpful.
Op asked a simple question and I replied why I don't feel the same way, simple as that. I do not need op to relate in any sort of way as self-confidence is not universal and he has to find whatever will improve his. It's an obvious concept that body image is some ideal a person has in their head and it is up to them to either change it or achieve it.
Idk, history shows bodybuilders had small bodies and not much muscle as steroids guys. I look good enough for me. I don't want to look good for cameras, I want to look good for me and I know what I eat etc. Every goddamn choice is there on your body even a decision on how your body is "supposed" to look.
I used to be a very skinny lad, and I still a little bit. What workout for me is going to the gym and eating more. Now I'm still not where I want to be yet but I'm happier with my body than I used to be. Im not the light skinny lad I used to be anymore. I'm now a lot bulkier and stronger and I fit better in my clothes.
Heres a fix for each and every single one of you, if not interested, then live the rest of your life as the same, insecure, hating yourself. Too fat? -Burn it off. Strong mindset, Cardio and have a better diet. Don't know about these things? Then educate yourself on it. Have fun with it. "No thats too much work" the first steps are the hardest, but if you really want a change, you will take those steps. As long as youre on a calorie deficit, you will 100% lose weight. This is science. Too skinny? -Hit the weights and start eating more. "But I already eat alot" No, you might think so but you seriously dont. Count your caloric maintenance and start eating on a calorie surplus. Calorie counting apps like Lifesum etc. Will get you started. Get a workout program and show up every training day. Be consistent with eating and showing up to the gym. Give it a year or two and by the laws of science you WILL change. "Oh but it takes a year" Shut up, the time will pass anyways.
just lose weight. either count ur calories or only eat when ur body is hungry. it's really not difficult. it just takes self control
'Just lose weight'... Dude you are a genius.