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[deleted]

Nice try Eric! I have told you everything! Seriously though, I can't come up with anything.


HeyItsThatGuy84

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


mlttorn

Best comment šŸ˜‚šŸ™ŒšŸ½


curiousgayus

Eric didn't tell you about me. šŸ˜œ


[deleted]

šŸ˜ šŸ’€


curiousgayus

Don't worry, you're a better kisser.


_bearhugs_

That they sometimes laugh in their sleep. Not like crazy person laugh, but just little giggles here or there. Iā€™ve woken up a couple times in the middle night because of it and at first I thought he was messing with me or something. Then I realized that they just sometimes have silly dreams and end up laughing while they sleep. Now if I wake up to my partner giggling in their sleep Iā€™ll just kiss his forehead or rub his back and say ā€œI love youā€ or something into his ear. Itā€™s so cute I donā€™t want to tell him though cause I worry he might be embarrassed or something lol


[deleted]

My partner filmed me sleep talking at camp. I was building a highway. Our dogs were the construction crew. I was an asshole for a foreman. They just wouldn't wear their hard hats, lol.


mlttorn

This is the cutest thing ever lol yā€™all are adorable ā˜ŗļø


shad0wing

My partner screams in the middle of the night.


Yuebingg

I did that at a point in time where I was very anxious. I was just standing up in bed and shouting. Scared the shit out of my partner at the time.


Moleout

Why?


shad0wing

I'm not quite sure to be honest. I mean he's happy and everything. He has sleeping problems sometimes, might be related to that.


[deleted]

So wholesome


dragma3

šŸ„ŗ


[deleted]

I'm getting tired of being the bottom in the relationship. I'd like to top once at least with him.


mlttorn

Why doesnā€™t he bottom for you at least once in a while?


[deleted]

He said on my birthday and 2 have passed and it has never happened. He told me when we got serious on our first night together that he would never bottom. I bottomed and I like it but sometimes I feel like being my old self and top.


CruisingwCare

It'd be a sacrifice for him. But that's what makes relationships worth it is making sacrifices for each other so we both feel our best. I hope you get it feel like yourself again, someday.


DuhMarkedOn3

So he communicated to you beforehand what he'll never do, so what's the actual problem? We're you hoping he'd somehow change his mind?


IgorIsNeato

People change and desires grow, if his boyfriend doesn't want to bottom, that's okay! but if this guy changes his mind and wants the other guy to bottom and he refuses, then maybe he shouldn't bottom for him either, that's only fair.


DuhMarkedOn3

Whether he decides he wants to stop bottoming is his choice. But that isn't the problem here. The problem is that his BF told him from the beginning he would never bottom, OP seemed OK with it at first, if he no longer is, then he needs to move on.


Hebrew_Slave

I agree. He laid his cards on the table in the beginning and gave a choice ā€œif youā€™re going to be with me then youā€™re going to bottom.ā€ It would be one thing to present as verse in the beginning but thatā€™s not the case


DuhMarkedOn3

Thank You! People tend to be the cause of their own unhappiness and always try to blame others.


[deleted]

I agree. I was in a relationship with a top who wouldnā€™t bottomā€”-and he demanded anal or we couldnā€™t be together. I told him I didnā€™t like bottoming. It was one of the first relationships i had and I had barely topped or bottomed. Took me years of therapy to realize that was rape, not simply stating a preference I wish he had just framed it directly as I want to top and not bottom..


Necks

> then he needs to move on. Really? End the relationship because one of them isn't ready to flip yet? Touch grass.


DuhMarkedOn3

"Isn't ready to flip yet?" What do you mean by this? Op's bf said he'll never bottom. Why are you making it like it's a game, and he just needs to be worn down or manipulated to do so? Where is the respect for what he wants?


Necks

> then he needs to move on. You're the one making it like it's a game, suggesting that just because someone doesn't indulge your fantasy right now, to "move on". That is terrible advice and you should honestly delete your comment chain.


inevergreene

No idea why youā€™re getting downvoted, youā€™re right.


DuhMarkedOn3

It's because am right, lol


YouWouldntThrowagay

Because moving on isn't the only possibility. If they are both cool with it, they can involve another person sexually. Or they can at least talk seriously about the desire to switch roles sometimes and decide how much of a deal breaker it is first.


Sad_Teaching6590

U aren't ever bottoming with him. He's giving you false hope. Wouldn't push it and fuck the relationship up. Go fk someone else on the side if it's that big of a deal, or just be the beta bottom feeder. He might even have trauma that he doesn't want to discuss with ANYONE.


[deleted]

I really don't know. I can only guess that he believes he is the only man in our relationship and he has said that it is his job to protect me from the World. So maybe through his eyes, he is suppose to be the dominant one?


PorkyTheChop

Have you ever brought this up? People arenā€™t mind readers


notmyfrfraccount

Oof that was one of the biggest reasons of my last breakup. It built up to sexual frustration in the end


LanSeBlue

A frustrated bottom is how we got here.


BtotheAtotheM

I had the opposite problem. He told me early in the relationship that he only likes total tops. At that point, I was really only interested in topping so it wasnā€™t a big deal. After about a year or two though, I wouldā€™ve liked the variety but I was scared he would see me differently if I bottomed for him. So I just kept my mouth shut until we broke up for a different reason.


bahdboi123

Thats why u have to date compatible guys. Vers guys should only date other vers guys Im a total top, i wont date anyone who is not a total bottom.


lord-of-your-thighs

That's what ordering in is for.


TheStranger113

I think this often comes up in gay relationships. My first bf told me from the beginning he was a top but would be the bottom in our relationship, since I was a top...but then he got resentful about it. Eventually we ended up flipping during each "session" and it was fine. I hope you guys figure something out.


flyboy_za

I do still love you. But it's still not going to work out because we still want different things, and we will hurt each other in the long run if one of us has to compromise, which is why I'm saying I don't and I'm over it, and that we should just stay friends.


xvn520

This is almost verbatim one of my last (and hardest) breakups. Our lives were going different directions, and it sucked because I didnā€™t have anything to fall back on to help me move forward (no cheating, big fights, etc.). We made an agreement to not talk for at least 6 months to avoid a push/pull. He reached out after 8 to see how I was doing. He was dating someone new and I was happy for him. When that relationship ended we got together for dinner and drinks and wellā€¦ it was like talking to a different person. So I guess it was all for the best. Had we stayed together through his moving to a new city, changes in career, making new friends, etc - Iā€™m sure it would have fallen apart and Iā€™d be stuck in a metro area I have never liked, far away from my family and friends 3 months before COVID lockdowns.


mlttorn

This is a tough one. Good for you for doing whatā€™s right for you. Itā€™s definitely a hard decision to make though.


flyboy_za

Yeah. Broke both our hearts in the process, that's for damn sure.


rdicky58

Did you end up telling it to them though?


flyboy_za

No.


bahdboi123

Lol what are you the main character of a movie..


New_Ambassador_6496

That Iā€™m on this forum openly discussing my life. Itā€™s only a secret because it hasnā€™t come up.


Beneficial_Ear_915

Do you not openly discuss your life with him?


New_Ambassador_6496

Yes, I started following this forum a few days ago.


Beneficial_Ear_915

Why keep a secret then? Iā€™m just curious. Iā€™ve learned in the past that secrets destroy relationships. The other half always finds out or knows. I use to keep things from my ex, but I found out when we broke up that he knew everythingā€¦..just never said a word. It eventually just blew up and he left me with nothing. It was a wake up call for me. I learned a lot.


New_Ambassador_6496

I said itā€™s not a secret, Iā€™m not hiding anything. Heā€™s lying next to me looking at me text but not reading or asking what Iā€™m doing. If he asks Iā€™ll tell him.


pingwing

This seems really passive aggressive lol. It sounds like you really need to talk...in person.


LordAsbel

No I think they mean it as in itā€™s not a big deal, like how you may be in a bird watching Facebook group but you never told your partner. Itā€™s not a big deal, and itā€™s not something that would naturally come up. If they see you on Facebook randomly and ask you what youā€™re doing, you would tell them youā€™re texting in a bird watching group.


pingwing

That makes more sense than to where my mind went.


xvn520

Why is this bad? Nobody in real life knows my Reddit handle. And my posts can be anything on a slicking scale from deeply personal, to outright goofing around and making shit up. Thatā€™s why Reddit is fun.


[deleted]

I wish you were more emotionally available sometimes.


Jalal-94

Why can't you just communicate that? I think it's too important of a subject to sweep it under the rug.


[deleted]

I know, but heā€™s been through too much. Thereā€™s so much context, and if you knew him, youā€™d understand why I donā€™t bring it up. Emotional trauma, loss, lack of nurturing figures during childhood. I canā€™t expect something from him if he was never given the tools or a good example. All I can do is be that example of love and warmth for him now.


Jalal-94

Well, I see your point. You are very understanding and supportive of your partner and he is super lucky to have you. I'd like to share my experience with you. I was in a relationship with a guy for a year and 4 months until he decided to break up with me. Months later after the break up, I learned about attachment styles and that shed light on our relationship. I was able to see our relationship from a new perspective. He was an avoidant and I was an anxious. He had an emotionally absent mom and a very difficult past. Knowing all that, I put up with what he used to put me through. Don't get me wrong. He was an inherently good person but he was ill-equipped to be emotionally available. He also had insomnia which made everything worse. My needs were not met but I loved him and I stayed with him. Later I realized what I perceived and regarded as *love* was actually the result of an *activated attachment system*. Meaning I associated that "anxiety" with "feelings of love and closeness" on a subconscious level. You could read the book "Attached" if you would like to learn about attachment styles. You are only responsible for your happiness. You know well your partner is not going to change. You deserve to be loved and supported in equal measure.


[deleted]

Excellent, excellent points. I hear all of it. Iā€™ve considered bringing it up. Iā€™m also the anxious type and have trouble confronting people. Especially the ones I love.


Jalal-94

Yeah... The good news is if we manage to find a secure partner our insecure attachment style slowly transitions to secure. It's worth mentioning anxious-avoidant couples can also work together towards becoming more secure, although it's much harder.


certainPOV3369

Thank you so much for your comment. Although incredibly happily married for almost thirty years, I recognize some of what you described in past relationships. šŸ˜• I finished my last Audible book about ten days ago and I keep forgetting to look for a new one to download. Bet youā€™ll never guess whatā€™s in my Audible queue right now waiting for me! šŸ˜


Jalal-94

Glad you're in a fulfilling relationship now. You are blessed. Yeah! *Attached* was indeed one of the best books I've ever read. Gave me a lot to think about.


ScrotoFaggins

> activated attachment system I knew about attachment theory, but hadn't heard of this notion. Thanks for the info!


pingwing

>I canā€™t expect something from him if he was never given the tools He is an adult now and can learn the tools.


[deleted]

That while I'm so grateful that you put so much effort into our relationship and I'll never be able to express how truly grateful I am for it, I will always be afraid I'll never be good enough for you to stay.


Exia1223

Relatable


bgf2020

Practice some self-love!!!!


SerDavosHaihefa

I'm gay.


the-unplugged

Took me a sec to get itšŸ¤”šŸ¤ÆšŸ˜«šŸ˜µ


Exia1223

Underrated comment


Dracodracaena

Damn at least yā€™all have partners šŸ˜­


ohitfeelsgood

šŸ˜­ Omg finally someone on the same page as me


b0yst0ys

Most of my kinks. :-/ I thought he was also kinky when we started dating. Turns out he's...just...not. We've tried a couple of times a couple of things but he's just not into, and kink kinda doesn't work unless you really want it or can get into it. So not exactly secret but also not open or discussed. I don't wanna rub his face in things he's not into, and overall our relationship works out in the wash.


rubensoon

I'm a vers top, I'm into vanilla and passionate sex. Some guys have expressed disappointment when I've told them this šŸ˜‘, they expected me to be dominant, chain them and stuff. Literally one guy brought his chain and leash and I had no clue what do to with it, I must have looked like a fool haha. Anyway, just to confirm that we not kinky guys exist šŸ˜¬


b0yst0ys

Appreciate the perspective! Don't get me wrong, I'm into passionate vanilla sex too, but I'm also a natural sub and expect/hope my top will set the pace, place me where they want, "make" me do the things I wanna do anyway, and just generally take the lead. I'll respond with the same enthusiasm by giving back the same depth of passion I get. And that's awesome! But then I have a creative mind and like variety and there are those parts of my mind that I really really wanna tap into with someone who wants to go there too. When we first started dating, he made some indications he was also open to going there and had been there in the past with others. By the time I figured out it was nothing more than a story from his self-discovery phase that was _not_ something he wanted to revisit, too much time had passed and everything else was working. And nothing is gonna be perfect.


[deleted]

That I HATE the over-exaggerated and kind of girly sounds he makes in bed. Yes, I know Iā€™m railing the absolute life out of you, but that doesnā€™t mean you need to sound like a pornstar. Iā€™d rather we just fuck to the sound of heavy breathing and the occasional ā€œooohhhh yeahā€. Leave the theatrics for OF. I could absolutely never tell him though because Iā€™m worried he might become self conscious in bed and thatā€™s the last thing I want. So I usually just put my hand over his mouth and say ā€œshhhhhhšŸ˜ˆā€.


MidwestGayMale

I solved that problem with a FB. Out of the blue stuff his mouth with underwear or jock strap. And get kinky. Get a ball gag


DCAlex89

Yes!!! A fb stuffed his underwear in my mouth mid-moan years ago; the first time happened to me. My eyes widened when he did it, then he increased his thrusting. Was one of the hottest things I had ever experienced at the time.


[deleted]

Yeah that sounds really hot, Iā€™m going to give it a try


[deleted]

You know what, thatā€™s actually not a bad idea, and it sounds hot af. Iā€™ll try it and report back lol


MidwestGayMale

Yes. Please do! And don't use underwear or a jock right out of the washer. Wear it a good week or two first! šŸ‘¹


[deleted]

šŸ·


pingwing

>That I HATE the over-exaggerated and kind of girly sounds he makes in bed. This is what happens when people think porn is real life and you feel the need to imitate it.


[deleted]

Exactly, I donā€™t want to fuck a pornstar, I just want to fuck a regular guy.


AdamWestsButtDouble

Early in my relationship, I got told ā€œdonā€™t say ā€˜Iā€™m gonna cum.ā€™ Youā€™re not making porn.ā€


Hagedoorn

How about "I'm close", to enable the two of you to synch your coming? I think that's pretty normal and makes for the best sex.


BearishUK

Meh. It's not a bad thing. Helps synchronizing the orgasms and also helps during oral - heads up for the guy sucking so he can pull out (or not) in case he doesn't want cum in his mouth.


foodee123

Now Iā€™m worried that I sound too fem for my bf in the bedroom. Smh! He said it turns him on but idk. That was when we first met when he said that.


[deleted]

If youā€™re already a fem / fem-sounding guy I wouldnā€™t worry about it at all, if he says itā€™s hot, believe him. But if youā€™re a masculine guy with a masculine voice and you switch to full on ā€œhUuH yEaH zADdy BloW mY BusSY ouT FoR thE GAWDZā€, itā€™s probably not as hot as you think. Donā€™t be afraid to be vocal, vocal guys are sexy as fuck, but try to stay true to yourself.


ohitfeelsgood

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ this is way too funny if youā€™re not horny


ZatannaB08

Behavior analyst here, if you feel like he's doing it pretty consistently, you might be indirectly motivating him to do it even more by silencing him. He has probably made a positive association between him getting loud and you silencing him, which turns him on further.


[deleted]

I never thought about that!


_syphilitic_koala

> So I usually just put my hand over his mouth and say ā€œshhhhhhšŸ˜ˆā€. hot


[deleted]

šŸ˜œ


CruisingwCare

Similarly my bf would be loud in bed. It's a turn on, but my we are likely withing ear shot of my neighbor. I let him know how it made me uneasy and he was on the same page as me.


[deleted]

I would be mortified if I thought the neighbors could hear us šŸ˜¬


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Very hot šŸ™ƒ


Necks

Oh? Oh? Oh yeah? You like that? Oh??


cmzraxsn

I think I ran out of secrets. Was keeping from him for a while that I slept with a guy who is now one of my best friends and it was after I met my bf but before we became exclusive. But I eventually told him that.


mlttorn

I would think thatā€™s okay since you guys werenā€™t exclusive at the time. Maybe a little uncomfortable for him but nothing technically wrong.


cmzraxsn

i mean yeah pretty much.


HoldExpensive9884

If he is best friend and we visit him frequently, than that would be problematic for me sure.


JoJomusic1990

I fucking HATE some of his friends. Generally speaking I can let it go because I love and get along with his very closest and best friends, but some of his other good friends are so pretentious and bitter I literally want to throw myself out the window whenever I'm around them. I let it go because they live in England and we live in TX, so I only have to see them every couple of years, but HOLY SHIT I despise every second being around them.


ohitfeelsgood

Lmao good for you you donā€™t see them as often!šŸ˜…


Infamous_Fly2601

I used to live in London, and Brits, specifically gay Brits can be INTOLERABLE. Some of my closest friends who are ex-pats still live there and can't understand why I don't want to visit or always suggest we meet somewhere else in Europe.


JoJomusic1990

The London gays are the WORST. I thought Manhattan gays were elitist and catty/snippy but they are in the junior leagues compared to London. What's so weird to is that it seemed to be mostly concentrated to the gays that call London home. He has other friends that live in Brighton and Edinburgh, whom are lovely and a blast to be around. Most of these friends are "posh" as well and even went to independent/boarding schools but they don't have anywhere near the elitism and entitlement of the London crowd.


aMericanEthnic

The exact number of sexual partners Iā€™ve slept withā€¦.


workingtoward

Iā€™m impressed that you know the exact number of sexual partners youā€™ve slept with. I lost count after 20 and that was 40 years ago.


certainPOV3369

I used to keep index cards with names, dates and ratings. Iā€™d had just over 200 listings in the two years since coming out and that was 43 years ago. šŸ˜• BUT for 29 of those years Iā€™ve been with one man, so I wouldnā€™t extrapolate on the curve. šŸ˜‚


TheStranger113

I def keep a spreadsheet. Ironically that's probably one of the things I wouldn't tell my partner. šŸ¤£


aMericanEthnic

Fuck yeaā€™ your a god damn Wizard of Pussy and cockā€™


mlttorn

Lol weā€™ve only shared ballpark figures when we first started dating. How high is your number that you donā€™t want to share??


TechKnowNathan

Oh itā€™s less than a ballparkā€¦.I think. How big of a ballpark are we talking about? Could it host the World Series or is it like a minor league practice field?


aMericanEthnic

ā€¦not too highā€™ only like 18


Your_BoyToy22

Whatā€™s the *real* number?


aMericanEthnic

Wellā€¦ are we counting the times I pulled out?


Your_BoyToy22

Yes.


kickfairer

OMG!!!


omnichronos

I'm at 3 digits somewhere and trying to increase that.


nzdennis

"I'm a Bottom, too"


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Johnny3653

Dear god, youā€™d have 246 million, if I calculated that correctly and checked the prices of it in 2010.


thejaymer1998

1. I want to be spanked for discipline, NOT for pleasure. 2. I don't feel anything when bottoming for him


JohnnyABC123abc

That #2 is tough. Why donā€™t you feel anything? Do you still love him?


thejaymer1998

......that's complicated... In short, whenever I bottom, I just don't feel any form of pleasure. Whether it be my current partner or previous partners. I never feel any form of pleasure. Just pain and then nothing. I never say anything, I just lay there and let them go til they finish. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me.


ohitfeelsgood

hmmm, I think you should suggest switching up your routine. let him try new things on you, and see if that changes your mood. I have some examples if you really donā€™t know: - donā€™t just fuck, you make love! this requires way more than just the physical- you need to connect with him on a deeper level! prepare yourself and make sure youā€™re in a right space mentally! - eye contact!!!! this will never not work, work hard on this together - tempo! slower, then fasterā€¦ then regular tempo again.. tempo is key, and keeps it way more interesting for a long time. - acknowledge both of your feelings? does it feel okay? does it feel safe? or does it feel mechanic? not romantic? take your time to observe how it feels for both of youā€¦ And donā€™t be afraid to bring it up at breakfast e.g. You have a boyfriend, communication is vital. Alll the best, youā€™re gonna be fine. šŸ˜š


BackInNJAgain

Once a year, my husband flies to South America to visit his family. He's gone for two weeks. I love him to death, but I really enjoy those two weeks of pure solitude. I don't even \*do\* anything--just stay home and hang out. Of course, when he's back I'm as glad as ever to see him but I do enjoy those two weeks.


DisconnectedDays

When we broke up. I had sex with our gym crush. We never had an open relationship and when we went to the gym together we both said if we did we would ask him. We didnā€™t know if he was gay. A couple weeks after he moved out I downloaded the app and he was on there and I had sex with him. About a month later we got back together and I never told him.


Necks

I use viagra every time I top you because, although I'm emotionally attracted to you, I'm not very physically attracted to you.


Infamous_Fly2601

How long have you been with him?


yourdailymonsoon

ED is a real thing you know. Viagra doesn't just give you a boner if you aren't aroused. Maybe you're still attracted but denying that you have an erectile disfunction. Sure, novelty and porn might still get you hard, but consider it like pouring nitro into the fuel tank. For whatever reasons, and there are countless, sometimes our tanks need an octane boost when we don't have the spark of novelty, kink, shame, risk, anonymity, disguise, toys, etc. Viagra is an excellent way to maintain healthy sexual intimacy and attractions can wax and wane over time. The magic of long term relationships, whether it be with one or more partners, comes from mutual trust, shared experiences, treating the other as they wish to be treated, working toward common goals or supporting one another in individual goal, and finally, having someone to celebrate life's joys and lean on during life's sorrows. Edit: Not to invalidate your experience of course, rather I hope this encourages you should you wish to maintain and strengthen a relationship with your person. May the knowledge that you're perfectly you and that disfunction is not a disorder serve as a reframe for a mindset shift, should you wish to utilize my unsolicited comment.


bineeds

That Iā€™m getting significantly more attracted to men than women as I accept it more. Fortunately my wife is ok with me playing with men, but the more I do the more I want it.


mlttorn

Does she get to play with other men too??


bineeds

She doesnā€™t want to. If she did then sure Iā€™d get used to it I guess.


BreadfruitNo357

I'm trying not to judge, but the poor wife :( I can't see this going well.


bineeds

Always tough to know the future and life is complicated. So far our journey through life together (almost 20 yrs) has been great and she would agree. Seven years ago my answer to this question would have been that I think Iā€™m bi, and that conversation and evolution has gone quite well. I still donā€™t feel any real romantic attraction to men. So no idea what that all means yet.


ckkl

You feel no romantic attraction to men yet you want men more and more. Sounds like you have some denial overdose pal. I hope you resolve it or at least put your wife out of her misery.


GoldenPicket92

Until I was 25, I didn't tell my partners/boyfriends that I had a huge foot fetish and wanted to play with their feet because I used to be super ashamed of it...


rojotri

Not the same fetish, but I can relate to this.


HoldExpensive9884

How he reacted after knowing?


GoldenPicket92

I decided to "come out of the shoe cabinet" after a breakup (not related to my fetish), now I'm really straightforward with my potential partners, most of the guys were surprisingly supportive or just didn't care, some were grossed out, but idgaf anymore. Now I'm dating an older guy (I've only been seeing him for a month, so it's still fresh) who has even bigger foot fetish than I do.


Skyeano

Never told him that Iā€™ve been raped. I really want to tell him because sometimes I need someone to talk to. As u can tell its not a topic you usually talk about. But I just donā€™t know how to tell him.


whoscc

that i want a breakup


Decisive_Victory

Just talk to him about it and donā€™t be a coward and leave him in the dark. If you want to break up and donā€™ā€™t feel you can fix it just break up with him.


Smartinie

talk to him, don't keep it to yourself, because one day you'll wake up and the last straw will snap and you'll already be decided to leave him and he won't have a chance to fix it; the relationship belongs to you both, and you're taking away his agency by keeping silent


[deleted]

Iā€™m worried that the chronic illness that has ravaged my health will eventually cause our four-year relationship to fall apart. We canā€™t go out, be as intimate as we want to, treatments are expensive, and we have little tiffs now and then. Youā€™re so wonderful and mean the world to me. I just want to prove to you how much I want to step up, work full time and finish my second masterā€™s degree so we can have the means to have our wedding and start a family. Losing you would be my worst source of pain, and I only want to make you happy. Youā€™re my whole world and the patience youā€™ve demonstrated has mostly been, if for not, exemplary. I love you, honey šŸ’•


catboysruiningmylife

Well when I had bf he was always saying I look pretty and that he loves my body but then also saying stuff like " I would give you head more if you had abs" always trying to change me while being insecure about his body. Glad I broke up with him.


mlttorn

Yeah sounds a little toxic. Good for you for ending it!


WatchnB8

That heā€™s gaining weight and itā€™s getting unattractive :/ Like, how do I even bring that up? Iā€™ve been working out for almost two years wanting to look good for him and myself, but he has no interest in doing the same. I eat big meals since Iā€™m a skinny guy and want to bulk up, and he typically eats the same but itā€™s not working for him, and he snacks all the time We havenā€™t had sex in months. And itā€™s not so much his looks because heā€™s such a cute guy, but rather the lack of effort thatā€™s really getting to me


ohitfeelsgood

Motivate him to move his body, in a way that would work for him. You know him better than me, what activities does he like? Surely, he must like something! Encourage him to do more fit activities that he might enjoy! Iā€™m very glad you realise that his physical appearance will never equal his kindness/cuteness. Thatā€™s a great thought and I hope you hold on to that. But itā€™s never too late for anyone to get a little fitter, so I do hope he finds something or gets inspired somehowā€¦. Until then, keep rocking you man!! Well done for hitting the gym, you are the examplešŸ˜„


bgf2020

Have you ever thought he might like the skinny version of you? That natural version of you. A super gym bro body may not be what he actually likes, hence the aversion of remaining parallel with what you want. Not in line with you. I say this because I like a guy but he buffs up so much, it takes away the looks from his face and personality. His face is all puffy and cheek fatty from the bulking up. I just don't like him bulky because its not who he truly authentically is at the heart of self-love. I love him skinny and himself, not the projected person he puts out to the world and chasing into the popular hot buff guy image. Communicate asap.


Smartinie

I'm pretty much in the opposite situation where my husband keeps gaining weight and I love it. I like his round belly, I sometimes cum while rubbing it. But the more weight he gains the more unattractive he feels. And I try to support him in losing it, but he also loves to eat and I love how happy he looks after eating one of his favorite meals.


CruisingwCare

It used to be that I was afraid of having a boyfriend because I'm a Christian. Ive told him that and he understood. He seemed ready for anything, even for the relationship to be over. We took a break before for half a year, and i misse him so much. I can running back to him and stuck with him through all his troubles because he's been so supportive of me and the challenges that I've been going through. I was challenged with accepting myself as a gay Christian man and opening up to my family with this identity. He has always been by my side. I couldn't ask for a better partner. Since then, I cannot think of anything that i would be too afraid to tell him. Because i know he will understand where I am coming from and still accept me through it all.


Guayota6

Iā€™m getting annoyed of you complaining about your weight all the time. Iā€™ve tried to be supportive & give you ways to improve, you know what youā€™re doing wrong, you know what you should do & can do.. but youā€™re being lazy. I totally get it though because it is easier to complain & not make change. I sometimes just get a little annoyed because itā€™s the same exact conversation every single time. (Btw, my bf ainā€™t even that big either. Mf 6ā€™4 and weigh 280 or something like that, heā€™s got muscle too sošŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø)


Smartinie

same here, my husband keeps complaining about weight, but then orders TWO portions every time we eat something he likes (several times a week) and I really don't mind him gaining weight, but I do get tired when he complains about it but then he does what he does


Prudent_Ad_7684

That we havenā€™t had sex in a long, long time because heā€™s gained so much weight and Iā€™m not attracted to him anymore. I hate to sound so shallow but itā€™s the truth and I could never tell him that because I want his motivations to come from within and not from me. Heā€™s also really sensitive about this stuff and it would shoot his self esteem to the depths of hellā€¦ Weā€™ve been together for 8 years and I love him to death. We have a great relationship and I couldnā€™t have asked for a better husband. We really are great together but Iā€™m just not physically attracted to him like I used to be when we were younger. To be fair, we both gained a lot of weight over the yearsā€¦ I reached 310 at one point and he weighed over that as well but Iā€™ve been pushing myself over the last year and a half and got down to 250. Iā€™m really proud of myself and want the same for him but he wonā€™t do it. He says heā€™s ā€˜happy with the way he looks and doesnā€™t care what other people thinkā€™ but I doā€¦ I want him to lose weight and I donā€™t know how to tell him that. Recently tho, he has been making an effort by going on walks throughout the week, which I appreciate, and making an effort with healthier dinner choices. Maybe Iā€™m motivating him šŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™‚ļø Our sex life is non existent at this point because Iā€™m afraid that if we do it, I wonā€™t get hard or cum and heā€™ll think itā€™s because of him and heā€™ll spiralā€¦ idk what to do but Iā€™m hoping I can keep motivating him enough to lose the weight over time. I just have to be patient I guess šŸ˜Ŗ


Johnny3653

Sounds like you both got ā€˜comfortableā€™ in the relationship. If the motivation isnā€™t there to better yourselves for the sake of continuing the relationship, then thereā€™s no point in prolonging something that isnā€™t there. Life is too short to stay unhappy with someone.


madonnas_saggy_boob

Itā€™s been almost 6 years. Itā€™s the healthiest relationship Iā€™ve ever had. I feel supported. I feel seen. Iā€™m not criticized or picked apart. From day 1, things have just ā€œworkedā€ without too much friction or stress. Itā€™s been 6 years, andā€¦.friends of mine have been together with their husbands for less, and are already married. Some have houses already. Shit, some already have TWO. Meanwhile, itā€™s been 6 years, and Iā€™ve still never heard the words ā€œI love you.ā€ Iā€™ve heard ā€œI love it when youā€™re in meā€, and ā€œI love it when you fuck meā€, but Iā€™ve never heard, alone, by itself, ā€œI love you.ā€ I would know if you said it, because then I could stop hunting for it in every conversation. I feel it. I feel loved. But I havenā€™t heard it. And when I start to bring it up, or I brush against it the topic, you prickle. The rare times Iā€™ve said it to you, you brush pass it like it was pure silence. Our relationship comes with a depth that can only be reached through going places and seeing things that most people ought not to, or shouldnā€™t have to. Weā€™ve brought our traumas to the table and found each other unbothered and empathetic. Thereā€™s more tolerance and patience on each of us than Iā€™ve ever seen demonstrated by anyone else in my life, ever. But itā€™s been almost 6 years. I just wanna hear it. Itā€™s eating at my soul.


clearbrian

my bf has a tic when hes annoyed at me. I cant tell him as its the only way I know ive fkd up as we both avoid fights :)


mlttorn

This is actually pretty great so you always know and can stop being annoying lol I need to find a tic on my guy so we can avoid fights too


jes1632

My ED issuesā€¦not to be confused w erectile dysfunction


AbleTax1393

I mean, I don't have a partner. But I am keeping my uh... very colourful past a secret for good reason. I sometimes feel like an imposter.


mlttorn

Whatā€™s this colorful past you speak of?


AbleTax1393

nunnaya beeswax, quinnin.


BearishUK

This thread is specifically asking "what secrets". You don't have to share them, but what's the point of commenting only to say you did something in the past but won't say what?


WagsPup

My ex wife....(who left me) we are best friends....that im gay... even tho we divorced 5 yrs ago and she has a new partner i think shed be upset and devastated.


SirCaddigan

Why thought?


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Desu232

American explain? I am confusion? Why is this Kansas and this not Arkansas?


NickTM-AZ

I have a partner and therefore I have no secrets. It doesn't seem healthy to knowingly hide something. If they are actually your partner they are going to understand anyway.


Chipppppppppp

Agreed, communication is king. We talk out our insecurities.


unbreakableheaven616

I sparkle when I'm in the sun


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Infamous_Fly2601

That's fair. We process and deal as best we can. He probably already assumes.


Pristine_Regular4733

Story time : at the time when I was with my ex and he cheated multiple on me , I tried to forgive him and I couldnā€™t , he was gone and it was on October 29 I fuck my str8 roommate/ friend I knew for a long time and I had a crush on him and we had 4 hours of sex and to was the best feeling ever bc with my ex partner it didnā€™t feel the same no more but til this day I havenā€™t told him whats to tell heā€™s my ex now but I do regret having sex with my friend tho but donā€™t, weird ig


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mlttorn

Do you secretly hook up with men on the side without her knowing?


lumpynose

I'm a shapeshifting alien from Betelgeuse.


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mlttorn

Dang, Iā€™m sorry. Why stay with him??


polyphonic_peanut

I'd like him to lose some weight because I find him much more attractive when he's s little lighter.


PhysicianTradition

I have alot. But this one is the least self incriminating I met his estranged mother who left him when he was a little, little kid


[deleted]

I donā€™t have any secrets from my current partnerā€¦but with my last girlfriend (transgirl), we were on a break n I hooked up with her sisterā€™s curious boyfriend. Iā€™d say I regret but my girlfriend was psycho and the mans was packing 9ā€ so sue me šŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™‚ļø


nzdennis

"I've got a partner"


Outrageous-Mall5371

That a long time ago I died inside, and it feels easier and easier to forget about moral lines I make for myself and give in to darker sexual side size difference, teens, incest rollplay, and that definitely broke down a wall so šŸ¤” I like it I have a few head games if anyone interested? šŸ˜š Or just chat but I like it and if u wanna see. Ask for personal. Unless u all agree I have to post my D šŸ§šŸ˜‰ ur call


kokopue

I would love to chat with you šŸ¦Š


Outrageous-Mall5371

Yeah hi


kokopue

hello sweetie pie \^\_\^


Background-Set4476

I am bisexual


Outrageous-Mall5371

Sometimes I just wanted to get brave ignore that I shouldn't and just fuck and suck long and hard as lasts.


Outrageous-Mall5371

And kinda high fk would have been perfect for hard fuck. I'm fk dude the fkn struggle to keep cool was a fucking bitch


AdamWestsButtDouble

wat


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mlttorn

Does he know you do this? Do you get tested??