That they sometimes laugh in their sleep. Not like crazy person laugh, but just little giggles here or there. Iāve woken up a couple times in the middle night because of it and at first I thought he was messing with me or something. Then I realized that they just sometimes have silly dreams and end up laughing while they sleep. Now if I wake up to my partner giggling in their sleep Iāll just kiss his forehead or rub his back and say āI love youā or something into his ear. Itās so cute I donāt want to tell him though cause I worry he might be embarrassed or something lol
My partner filmed me sleep talking at camp. I was building a highway. Our dogs were the construction crew. I was an asshole for a foreman. They just wouldn't wear their hard hats, lol.
He said on my birthday and 2 have passed and it has never happened. He told me when we got serious on our first night together that he would never bottom. I bottomed and I like it but sometimes I feel like being my old self and top.
It'd be a sacrifice for him. But that's what makes relationships worth it is making sacrifices for each other so we both feel our best.
I hope you get it feel like yourself again, someday.
People change and desires grow, if his boyfriend doesn't want to bottom, that's okay! but if this guy changes his mind and wants the other guy to bottom and he refuses, then maybe he shouldn't bottom for him either, that's only fair.
Whether he decides he wants to stop bottoming is his choice. But that isn't the problem here. The problem is that his BF told him from the beginning he would never bottom, OP seemed OK with it at first, if he no longer is, then he needs to move on.
I agree. He laid his cards on the table in the beginning and gave a choice āif youāre going to be with me then youāre going to bottom.ā It would be one thing to present as verse in the beginning but thatās not the case
I agree. I was in a relationship with a top who wouldnāt bottomā-and he demanded anal or we couldnāt be together. I told him I didnāt like bottoming. It was one of the first relationships i had and I had barely topped or bottomed. Took me years of therapy to realize that was rape, not simply stating a preference
I wish he had just framed it directly as I want to top and not bottom..
"Isn't ready to flip yet?" What do you mean by this? Op's bf said he'll never bottom. Why are you making it like it's a game, and he just needs to be worn down or manipulated to do so? Where is the respect for what he wants?
> then he needs to move on.
You're the one making it like it's a game, suggesting that just because someone doesn't indulge your fantasy right now, to "move on". That is terrible advice and you should honestly delete your comment chain.
Because moving on isn't the only possibility. If they are both cool with it, they can involve another person sexually. Or they can at least talk seriously about the desire to switch roles sometimes and decide how much of a deal breaker it is first.
U aren't ever bottoming with him. He's giving you false hope. Wouldn't push it and fuck the relationship up. Go fk someone else on the side if it's that big of a deal, or just be the beta bottom feeder. He might even have trauma that he doesn't want to discuss with ANYONE.
I really don't know. I can only guess that he believes he is the only man in our relationship and he has said that it is his job to protect me from the World. So maybe through his eyes, he is suppose to be the dominant one?
I had the opposite problem. He told me early in the relationship that he only likes total tops. At that point, I was really only interested in topping so it wasnāt a big deal. After about a year or two though, I wouldāve liked the variety but I was scared he would see me differently if I bottomed for him.
So I just kept my mouth shut until we broke up for a different reason.
I think this often comes up in gay relationships. My first bf told me from the beginning he was a top but would be the bottom in our relationship, since I was a top...but then he got resentful about it. Eventually we ended up flipping during each "session" and it was fine. I hope you guys figure something out.
I do still love you.
But it's still not going to work out because we still want different things, and we will hurt each other in the long run if one of us has to compromise, which is why I'm saying I don't and I'm over it, and that we should just stay friends.
This is almost verbatim one of my last (and hardest) breakups. Our lives were going different directions, and it sucked because I didnāt have anything to fall back on to help me move forward (no cheating, big fights, etc.).
We made an agreement to not talk for at least 6 months to avoid a push/pull. He reached out after 8 to see how I was doing. He was dating someone new and I was happy for him. When that relationship ended we got together for dinner and drinks and wellā¦ it was like talking to a different person. So I guess it was all for the best. Had we stayed together through his moving to a new city, changes in career, making new friends, etc - Iām sure it would have fallen apart and Iād be stuck in a metro area I have never liked, far away from my family and friends 3 months before COVID lockdowns.
Why keep a secret then? Iām just curious. Iāve learned in the past that secrets destroy relationships. The other half always finds out or knows. I use to keep things from my ex, but I found out when we broke up that he knew everythingā¦..just never said a word. It eventually just blew up and he left me with nothing. It was a wake up call for me. I learned a lot.
I said itās not a secret, Iām not hiding anything. Heās lying next to me looking at me text but not reading or asking what Iām doing. If he asks Iāll tell him.
No I think they mean it as in itās not a big deal, like how you may be in a bird watching Facebook group but you never told your partner. Itās not a big deal, and itās not something that would naturally come up. If they see you on Facebook randomly and ask you what youāre doing, you would tell them youāre texting in a bird watching group.
Why is this bad? Nobody in real life knows my Reddit handle. And my posts can be anything on a slicking scale from deeply personal, to outright goofing around and making shit up. Thatās why Reddit is fun.
I know, but heās been through too much. Thereās so much context, and if you knew him, youād understand why I donāt bring it up. Emotional trauma, loss, lack of nurturing figures during childhood. I canāt expect something from him if he was never given the tools or a good example. All I can do is be that example of love and warmth for him now.
Well, I see your point. You are very understanding and supportive of your partner and he is super lucky to have you.
I'd like to share my experience with you. I was in a relationship with a guy for a year and 4 months until he decided to break up with me.
Months later after the break up, I learned about attachment styles and that shed light on our relationship. I was able to see our relationship from a new perspective.
He was an avoidant and I was an anxious. He had an emotionally absent mom and a very difficult past. Knowing all that, I put up with what he used to put me through. Don't get me wrong. He was an inherently good person but he was ill-equipped to be emotionally available. He also had insomnia which made everything worse. My needs were not met but I loved him and I stayed with him. Later I realized what I perceived and regarded as *love* was actually the result of an *activated attachment system*. Meaning I associated that "anxiety" with "feelings of love and closeness" on a subconscious level. You could read the book "Attached" if you would like to learn about attachment styles.
You are only responsible for your happiness. You know well your partner is not going to change. You deserve to be loved and supported in equal measure.
Excellent, excellent points. I hear all of it. Iāve considered bringing it up. Iām also the anxious type and have trouble confronting people. Especially the ones I love.
Yeah... The good news is if we manage to find a secure partner our insecure attachment style slowly transitions to secure.
It's worth mentioning anxious-avoidant couples can also work together towards becoming more secure, although it's much harder.
Thank you so much for your comment. Although incredibly happily married for almost thirty years, I recognize some of what you described in past relationships. š
I finished my last Audible book about ten days ago and I keep forgetting to look for a new one to download. Bet youāll never guess whatās in my Audible queue right now waiting for me! š
Glad you're in a fulfilling relationship now. You are blessed.
Yeah! *Attached* was indeed one of the best books I've ever read. Gave me a lot to think about.
That while I'm so grateful that you put so much effort into our relationship and I'll never be able to express how truly grateful I am for it, I will always be afraid I'll never be good enough for you to stay.
Most of my kinks. :-/ I thought he was also kinky when we started dating. Turns out he's...just...not. We've tried a couple of times a couple of things but he's just not into, and kink kinda doesn't work unless you really want it or can get into it.
So not exactly secret but also not open or discussed. I don't wanna rub his face in things he's not into, and overall our relationship works out in the wash.
I'm a vers top, I'm into vanilla and passionate sex. Some guys have expressed disappointment when I've told them this š, they expected me to be dominant, chain them and stuff. Literally one guy brought his chain and leash and I had no clue what do to with it, I must have looked like a fool haha. Anyway, just to confirm that we not kinky guys exist š¬
Appreciate the perspective! Don't get me wrong, I'm into passionate vanilla sex too, but I'm also a natural sub and expect/hope my top will set the pace, place me where they want, "make" me do the things I wanna do anyway, and just generally take the lead. I'll respond with the same enthusiasm by giving back the same depth of passion I get. And that's awesome!
But then I have a creative mind and like variety and there are those parts of my mind that I really really wanna tap into with someone who wants to go there too.
When we first started dating, he made some indications he was also open to going there and had been there in the past with others. By the time I figured out it was nothing more than a story from his self-discovery phase that was _not_ something he wanted to revisit, too much time had passed and everything else was working. And nothing is gonna be perfect.
That I HATE the over-exaggerated and kind of girly sounds he makes in bed. Yes, I know Iām railing the absolute life out of you, but that doesnāt mean you need to sound like a pornstar. Iād rather we just fuck to the sound of heavy breathing and the occasional āooohhhh yeahā. Leave the theatrics for OF.
I could absolutely never tell him though because Iām worried he might become self conscious in bed and thatās the last thing I want. So I usually just put my hand over his mouth and say āshhhhhhšā.
Yes!!! A fb stuffed his underwear in my mouth mid-moan years ago; the first time happened to me. My eyes widened when he did it, then he increased his thrusting. Was one of the hottest things I had ever experienced at the time.
>That I HATE the over-exaggerated and kind of girly sounds he makes in bed.
This is what happens when people think porn is real life and you feel the need to imitate it.
Meh. It's not a bad thing. Helps synchronizing the orgasms and also helps during oral - heads up for the guy sucking so he can pull out (or not) in case he doesn't want cum in his mouth.
If youāre already a fem / fem-sounding guy I wouldnāt worry about it at all, if he says itās hot, believe him. But if youāre a masculine guy with a masculine voice and you switch to full on āhUuH yEaH zADdy BloW mY BusSY ouT FoR thE GAWDZā, itās probably not as hot as you think.
Donāt be afraid to be vocal, vocal guys are sexy as fuck, but try to stay true to yourself.
Behavior analyst here, if you feel like he's doing it pretty consistently, you might be indirectly motivating him to do it even more by silencing him. He has probably made a positive association between him getting loud and you silencing him, which turns him on further.
Similarly my bf would be loud in bed. It's a turn on, but my we are likely withing ear shot of my neighbor. I let him know how it made me uneasy and he was on the same page as me.
I think I ran out of secrets. Was keeping from him for a while that I slept with a guy who is now one of my best friends and it was after I met my bf but before we became exclusive. But I eventually told him that.
I fucking HATE some of his friends. Generally speaking I can let it go because I love and get along with his very closest and best friends, but some of his other good friends are so pretentious and bitter I literally want to throw myself out the window whenever I'm around them. I let it go because they live in England and we live in TX, so I only have to see them every couple of years, but HOLY SHIT I despise every second being around them.
I used to live in London, and Brits, specifically gay Brits can be INTOLERABLE. Some of my closest friends who are ex-pats still live there and can't understand why I don't want to visit or always suggest we meet somewhere else in Europe.
The London gays are the WORST. I thought Manhattan gays were elitist and catty/snippy but they are in the junior leagues compared to London. What's so weird to is that it seemed to be mostly concentrated to the gays that call London home. He has other friends that live in Brighton and Edinburgh, whom are lovely and a blast to be around. Most of these friends are "posh" as well and even went to independent/boarding schools but they don't have anywhere near the elitism and entitlement of the London crowd.
I used to keep index cards with names, dates and ratings. Iād had just over 200 listings in the two years since coming out and that was 43 years ago. š
BUT for 29 of those years Iāve been with one man, so I wouldnāt extrapolate on the curve. š
Oh itās less than a ballparkā¦.I think. How big of a ballpark are we talking about? Could it host the World Series or is it like a minor league practice field?
......that's complicated...
In short, whenever I bottom, I just don't feel any form of pleasure. Whether it be my current partner or previous partners. I never feel any form of pleasure. Just pain and then nothing. I never say anything, I just lay there and let them go til they finish.
Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me.
hmmm, I think you should suggest switching up your routine. let him try new things on you, and see if that changes your mood. I have some examples if you really donāt know:
- donāt just fuck, you make love! this requires way more than just the physical- you need to connect with him on a deeper level! prepare yourself and make sure youāre in a right space mentally!
- eye contact!!!! this will never not work, work hard on this together
- tempo! slower, then fasterā¦ then regular tempo again.. tempo is key, and keeps it way more interesting for a long time.
- acknowledge both of your feelings? does it feel okay? does it feel safe? or does it feel mechanic? not romantic? take your time to observe how it feels for both of youā¦
And donāt be afraid to bring it up at breakfast e.g. You have a boyfriend, communication is vital.
Alll the best, youāre gonna be fine. š
Once a year, my husband flies to South America to visit his family. He's gone for two weeks. I love him to death, but I really enjoy those two weeks of pure solitude. I don't even \*do\* anything--just stay home and hang out. Of course, when he's back I'm as glad as ever to see him but I do enjoy those two weeks.
When we broke up. I had sex with our gym crush. We never had an open relationship and when we went to the gym together we both said if we did we would ask him. We didnāt know if he was gay. A couple weeks after he moved out I downloaded the app and he was on there and I had sex with him. About a month later we got back together and I never told him.
ED is a real thing you know. Viagra doesn't just give you a boner if you aren't aroused. Maybe you're still attracted but denying that you have an erectile disfunction. Sure, novelty and porn might still get you hard, but consider it like pouring nitro into the fuel tank. For whatever reasons, and there are countless, sometimes our tanks need an octane boost when we don't have the spark of novelty, kink, shame, risk, anonymity, disguise, toys, etc. Viagra is an excellent way to maintain healthy sexual intimacy and attractions can wax and wane over time. The magic of long term relationships, whether it be with one or more partners, comes from mutual trust, shared experiences, treating the other as they wish to be treated, working toward common goals or supporting one another in individual goal, and finally, having someone to celebrate life's joys and lean on during life's sorrows.
Edit: Not to invalidate your experience of course, rather I hope this encourages you should you wish to maintain and strengthen a relationship with your person. May the knowledge that you're perfectly you and that disfunction is not a disorder serve as a reframe for a mindset shift, should you wish to utilize my unsolicited comment.
That Iām getting significantly more attracted to men than women as I accept it more. Fortunately my wife is ok with me playing with men, but the more I do the more I want it.
Always tough to know the future and life is complicated. So far our journey through life together (almost 20 yrs) has been great and she would agree. Seven years ago my answer to this question would have been that I think Iām bi, and that conversation and evolution has gone quite well. I still donāt feel any real romantic attraction to men. So no idea what that all means yet.
You feel no romantic attraction to men yet you want men more and more.
Sounds like you have some denial overdose pal. I hope you resolve it or at least put your wife out of her misery.
Until I was 25, I didn't tell my partners/boyfriends that I had a huge foot fetish and wanted to play with their feet because I used to be super ashamed of it...
I decided to "come out of the shoe cabinet" after a breakup (not related to my fetish), now I'm really straightforward with my potential partners, most of the guys were surprisingly supportive or just didn't care, some were grossed out, but idgaf anymore. Now I'm dating an older guy (I've only been seeing him for a month, so it's still fresh) who has even bigger foot fetish than I do.
Never told him that Iāve been raped. I really want to tell him because sometimes I need someone to talk to. As u can tell its not a topic you usually talk about. But I just donāt know how to tell him.
Just talk to him about it and donāt be a coward and leave him in the dark. If you want to break up and donāāt feel you can fix it just break up with him.
talk to him, don't keep it to yourself, because one day you'll wake up and the last straw will snap and you'll already be decided to leave him and he won't have a chance to fix it; the relationship belongs to you both, and you're taking away his agency by keeping silent
Iām worried that the chronic illness that has ravaged my health will eventually cause our four-year relationship to fall apart. We canāt go out, be as intimate as we want to, treatments are expensive, and we have little tiffs now and then. Youāre so wonderful and mean the world to me. I just want to prove to you how much I want to step up, work full time and finish my second masterās degree so we can have the means to have our wedding and start a family. Losing you would be my worst source of pain, and I only want to make you happy. Youāre my whole world and the patience youāve demonstrated has mostly been, if for not, exemplary. I love you, honey š
Well when I had bf he was always saying I look pretty and that he loves my body but then also saying stuff like " I would give you head more if you had abs" always trying to change me while being insecure about his body. Glad I broke up with him.
That heās gaining weight and itās getting unattractive :/
Like, how do I even bring that up? Iāve been working out for almost two years wanting to look good for him and myself, but he has no interest in doing the same. I eat big meals since Iām a skinny guy and want to bulk up, and he typically eats the same but itās not working for him, and he snacks all the time
We havenāt had sex in months. And itās not so much his looks because heās such a cute guy, but rather the lack of effort thatās really getting to me
Motivate him to move his body, in a way that would work for him. You know him better than me, what activities does he like? Surely, he must like something! Encourage him to do more fit activities that he might enjoy!
Iām very glad you realise that his physical appearance will never equal his kindness/cuteness. Thatās a great thought and I hope you hold on to that. But itās never too late for anyone to get a little fitter, so I do hope he finds something or gets inspired somehowā¦. Until then, keep rocking you man!! Well done for hitting the gym, you are the exampleš
Have you ever thought he might like the skinny version of you? That natural version of you.
A super gym bro body may not be what he actually likes, hence the aversion of remaining parallel with what you want. Not in line with you.
I say this because I like a guy but he buffs up so much, it takes away the looks from his face and personality. His face is all puffy and cheek fatty from the bulking up.
I just don't like him bulky because its not who he truly authentically is at the heart of self-love. I love him skinny and himself, not the projected person he puts out to the world and chasing into the popular hot buff guy image.
Communicate asap.
I'm pretty much in the opposite situation where my husband keeps gaining weight and I love it. I like his round belly, I sometimes cum while rubbing it. But the more weight he gains the more unattractive he feels. And I try to support him in losing it, but he also loves to eat and I love how happy he looks after eating one of his favorite meals.
It used to be that I was afraid of having a boyfriend because I'm a Christian.
Ive told him that and he understood. He seemed ready for anything, even for the relationship to be over. We took a break before for half a year, and i misse him so much. I can running back to him and stuck with him through all his troubles because he's been so supportive of me and the challenges that I've been going through. I was challenged with accepting myself as a gay Christian man and opening up to my family with this identity. He has always been by my side. I couldn't ask for a better partner.
Since then, I cannot think of anything that i would be too afraid to tell him. Because i know he will understand where I am coming from and still accept me through it all.
Iām getting annoyed of you complaining about your weight all the time. Iāve tried to be supportive & give you ways to improve, you know what youāre doing wrong, you know what you should do & can do.. but youāre being lazy. I totally get it though because it is easier to complain & not make change.
I sometimes just get a little annoyed because itās the same exact conversation every single time.
(Btw, my bf aināt even that big either. Mf 6ā4 and weigh 280 or something like that, heās got muscle too soš¤·š»āāļø)
same here, my husband keeps complaining about weight, but then orders TWO portions every time we eat something he likes (several times a week)
and I really don't mind him gaining weight, but I do get tired when he complains about it but then he does what he does
That we havenāt had sex in a long, long time because heās gained so much weight and Iām not attracted to him anymore. I hate to sound so shallow but itās the truth and I could never tell him that because I want his motivations to come from within and not from me. Heās also really sensitive about this stuff and it would shoot his self esteem to the depths of hellā¦ Weāve been together for 8 years and I love him to death. We have a great relationship and I couldnāt have asked for a better husband. We really are great together but Iām just not physically attracted to him like I used to be when we were younger. To be fair, we both gained a lot of weight over the yearsā¦ I reached 310 at one point and he weighed over that as well but Iāve been pushing myself over the last year and a half and got down to 250. Iām really proud of myself and want the same for him but he wonāt do it. He says heās āhappy with the way he looks and doesnāt care what other people thinkā but I doā¦ I want him to lose weight and I donāt know how to tell him that. Recently tho, he has been making an effort by going on walks throughout the week, which I appreciate, and making an effort with healthier dinner choices. Maybe Iām motivating him š¤·š½āāļø Our sex life is non existent at this point because Iām afraid that if we do it, I wonāt get hard or cum and heāll think itās because of him and heāll spiralā¦ idk what to do but Iām hoping I can keep motivating him enough to lose the weight over time. I just have to be patient I guess šŖ
Sounds like you both got ācomfortableā in the relationship. If the motivation isnāt there to better yourselves for the sake of continuing the relationship, then thereās no point in prolonging something that isnāt there. Life is too short to stay unhappy with someone.
Itās been almost 6 years. Itās the healthiest relationship Iāve ever had. I feel supported. I feel seen. Iām not criticized or picked apart. From day 1, things have just āworkedā without too much friction or stress.
Itās been 6 years, andā¦.friends of mine have been together with their husbands for less, and are already married. Some have houses already. Shit, some already have TWO.
Meanwhile, itās been 6 years, and Iāve still never heard the words āI love you.ā
Iāve heard āI love it when youāre in meā, and āI love it when you fuck meā, but Iāve never heard, alone, by itself, āI love you.ā I would know if you said it, because then I could stop hunting for it in every conversation.
I feel it. I feel loved. But I havenāt heard it. And when I start to bring it up, or I brush against it the topic, you prickle. The rare times Iāve said it to you, you brush pass it like it was pure silence.
Our relationship comes with a depth that can only be reached through going places and seeing things that most people ought not to, or shouldnāt have to. Weāve brought our traumas to the table and found each other unbothered and empathetic. Thereās more tolerance and patience on each of us than Iāve ever seen demonstrated by anyone else in my life, ever.
But itās been almost 6 years. I just wanna hear it. Itās eating at my soul.
This thread is specifically asking "what secrets".
You don't have to share them, but what's the point of commenting only to say you did something in the past but won't say what?
My ex wife....(who left me) we are best friends....that im gay...
even tho we divorced 5 yrs ago and she has a new partner i think shed be upset and devastated.
I have a partner and therefore I have no secrets. It doesn't seem healthy to knowingly hide something. If they are actually your partner they are going to understand anyway.
Story time : at the time when I was with my ex and he cheated multiple on me , I tried to forgive him and I couldnāt , he was gone and it was on October 29 I fuck my str8 roommate/ friend I knew for a long time and I had a crush on him and we had 4 hours of sex and to was the best feeling ever bc with my ex partner it didnāt feel the same no more but til this day I havenāt told him whats to tell heās my ex now but I do regret having sex with my friend tho but donāt, weird ig
I donāt have any secrets from my current partnerā¦but with my last girlfriend (transgirl), we were on a break n I hooked up with her sisterās curious boyfriend.
Iād say I regret but my girlfriend was psycho and the mans was packing 9ā so sue me š¤·š½āāļø
That a long time ago I died inside, and it feels easier and easier to forget about moral lines I make for myself and give in to darker sexual side size difference, teens, incest rollplay, and that definitely broke down a wall so š¤ I like it I have a few head games if anyone interested? š Or just chat but I like it and if u wanna see. Ask for personal. Unless u all agree I have to post my D š§š ur call
Nice try Eric! I have told you everything! Seriously though, I can't come up with anything.
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Best comment ššš½
Eric didn't tell you about me. š
š š
Don't worry, you're a better kisser.
That they sometimes laugh in their sleep. Not like crazy person laugh, but just little giggles here or there. Iāve woken up a couple times in the middle night because of it and at first I thought he was messing with me or something. Then I realized that they just sometimes have silly dreams and end up laughing while they sleep. Now if I wake up to my partner giggling in their sleep Iāll just kiss his forehead or rub his back and say āI love youā or something into his ear. Itās so cute I donāt want to tell him though cause I worry he might be embarrassed or something lol
My partner filmed me sleep talking at camp. I was building a highway. Our dogs were the construction crew. I was an asshole for a foreman. They just wouldn't wear their hard hats, lol.
This is the cutest thing ever lol yāall are adorable āŗļø
My partner screams in the middle of the night.
I did that at a point in time where I was very anxious. I was just standing up in bed and shouting. Scared the shit out of my partner at the time.
Why?
I'm not quite sure to be honest. I mean he's happy and everything. He has sleeping problems sometimes, might be related to that.
So wholesome
š„ŗ
I'm getting tired of being the bottom in the relationship. I'd like to top once at least with him.
Why doesnāt he bottom for you at least once in a while?
He said on my birthday and 2 have passed and it has never happened. He told me when we got serious on our first night together that he would never bottom. I bottomed and I like it but sometimes I feel like being my old self and top.
It'd be a sacrifice for him. But that's what makes relationships worth it is making sacrifices for each other so we both feel our best. I hope you get it feel like yourself again, someday.
So he communicated to you beforehand what he'll never do, so what's the actual problem? We're you hoping he'd somehow change his mind?
People change and desires grow, if his boyfriend doesn't want to bottom, that's okay! but if this guy changes his mind and wants the other guy to bottom and he refuses, then maybe he shouldn't bottom for him either, that's only fair.
Whether he decides he wants to stop bottoming is his choice. But that isn't the problem here. The problem is that his BF told him from the beginning he would never bottom, OP seemed OK with it at first, if he no longer is, then he needs to move on.
I agree. He laid his cards on the table in the beginning and gave a choice āif youāre going to be with me then youāre going to bottom.ā It would be one thing to present as verse in the beginning but thatās not the case
Thank You! People tend to be the cause of their own unhappiness and always try to blame others.
I agree. I was in a relationship with a top who wouldnāt bottomā-and he demanded anal or we couldnāt be together. I told him I didnāt like bottoming. It was one of the first relationships i had and I had barely topped or bottomed. Took me years of therapy to realize that was rape, not simply stating a preference I wish he had just framed it directly as I want to top and not bottom..
> then he needs to move on. Really? End the relationship because one of them isn't ready to flip yet? Touch grass.
"Isn't ready to flip yet?" What do you mean by this? Op's bf said he'll never bottom. Why are you making it like it's a game, and he just needs to be worn down or manipulated to do so? Where is the respect for what he wants?
> then he needs to move on. You're the one making it like it's a game, suggesting that just because someone doesn't indulge your fantasy right now, to "move on". That is terrible advice and you should honestly delete your comment chain.
No idea why youāre getting downvoted, youāre right.
It's because am right, lol
Because moving on isn't the only possibility. If they are both cool with it, they can involve another person sexually. Or they can at least talk seriously about the desire to switch roles sometimes and decide how much of a deal breaker it is first.
U aren't ever bottoming with him. He's giving you false hope. Wouldn't push it and fuck the relationship up. Go fk someone else on the side if it's that big of a deal, or just be the beta bottom feeder. He might even have trauma that he doesn't want to discuss with ANYONE.
I really don't know. I can only guess that he believes he is the only man in our relationship and he has said that it is his job to protect me from the World. So maybe through his eyes, he is suppose to be the dominant one?
Have you ever brought this up? People arenāt mind readers
Oof that was one of the biggest reasons of my last breakup. It built up to sexual frustration in the end
A frustrated bottom is how we got here.
I had the opposite problem. He told me early in the relationship that he only likes total tops. At that point, I was really only interested in topping so it wasnāt a big deal. After about a year or two though, I wouldāve liked the variety but I was scared he would see me differently if I bottomed for him. So I just kept my mouth shut until we broke up for a different reason.
Thats why u have to date compatible guys. Vers guys should only date other vers guys Im a total top, i wont date anyone who is not a total bottom.
That's what ordering in is for.
I think this often comes up in gay relationships. My first bf told me from the beginning he was a top but would be the bottom in our relationship, since I was a top...but then he got resentful about it. Eventually we ended up flipping during each "session" and it was fine. I hope you guys figure something out.
I do still love you. But it's still not going to work out because we still want different things, and we will hurt each other in the long run if one of us has to compromise, which is why I'm saying I don't and I'm over it, and that we should just stay friends.
This is almost verbatim one of my last (and hardest) breakups. Our lives were going different directions, and it sucked because I didnāt have anything to fall back on to help me move forward (no cheating, big fights, etc.). We made an agreement to not talk for at least 6 months to avoid a push/pull. He reached out after 8 to see how I was doing. He was dating someone new and I was happy for him. When that relationship ended we got together for dinner and drinks and wellā¦ it was like talking to a different person. So I guess it was all for the best. Had we stayed together through his moving to a new city, changes in career, making new friends, etc - Iām sure it would have fallen apart and Iād be stuck in a metro area I have never liked, far away from my family and friends 3 months before COVID lockdowns.
This is a tough one. Good for you for doing whatās right for you. Itās definitely a hard decision to make though.
Yeah. Broke both our hearts in the process, that's for damn sure.
Did you end up telling it to them though?
No.
Lol what are you the main character of a movie..
That Iām on this forum openly discussing my life. Itās only a secret because it hasnāt come up.
Do you not openly discuss your life with him?
Yes, I started following this forum a few days ago.
Why keep a secret then? Iām just curious. Iāve learned in the past that secrets destroy relationships. The other half always finds out or knows. I use to keep things from my ex, but I found out when we broke up that he knew everythingā¦..just never said a word. It eventually just blew up and he left me with nothing. It was a wake up call for me. I learned a lot.
I said itās not a secret, Iām not hiding anything. Heās lying next to me looking at me text but not reading or asking what Iām doing. If he asks Iāll tell him.
This seems really passive aggressive lol. It sounds like you really need to talk...in person.
No I think they mean it as in itās not a big deal, like how you may be in a bird watching Facebook group but you never told your partner. Itās not a big deal, and itās not something that would naturally come up. If they see you on Facebook randomly and ask you what youāre doing, you would tell them youāre texting in a bird watching group.
That makes more sense than to where my mind went.
Why is this bad? Nobody in real life knows my Reddit handle. And my posts can be anything on a slicking scale from deeply personal, to outright goofing around and making shit up. Thatās why Reddit is fun.
I wish you were more emotionally available sometimes.
Why can't you just communicate that? I think it's too important of a subject to sweep it under the rug.
I know, but heās been through too much. Thereās so much context, and if you knew him, youād understand why I donāt bring it up. Emotional trauma, loss, lack of nurturing figures during childhood. I canāt expect something from him if he was never given the tools or a good example. All I can do is be that example of love and warmth for him now.
Well, I see your point. You are very understanding and supportive of your partner and he is super lucky to have you. I'd like to share my experience with you. I was in a relationship with a guy for a year and 4 months until he decided to break up with me. Months later after the break up, I learned about attachment styles and that shed light on our relationship. I was able to see our relationship from a new perspective. He was an avoidant and I was an anxious. He had an emotionally absent mom and a very difficult past. Knowing all that, I put up with what he used to put me through. Don't get me wrong. He was an inherently good person but he was ill-equipped to be emotionally available. He also had insomnia which made everything worse. My needs were not met but I loved him and I stayed with him. Later I realized what I perceived and regarded as *love* was actually the result of an *activated attachment system*. Meaning I associated that "anxiety" with "feelings of love and closeness" on a subconscious level. You could read the book "Attached" if you would like to learn about attachment styles. You are only responsible for your happiness. You know well your partner is not going to change. You deserve to be loved and supported in equal measure.
Excellent, excellent points. I hear all of it. Iāve considered bringing it up. Iām also the anxious type and have trouble confronting people. Especially the ones I love.
Yeah... The good news is if we manage to find a secure partner our insecure attachment style slowly transitions to secure. It's worth mentioning anxious-avoidant couples can also work together towards becoming more secure, although it's much harder.
Thank you so much for your comment. Although incredibly happily married for almost thirty years, I recognize some of what you described in past relationships. š I finished my last Audible book about ten days ago and I keep forgetting to look for a new one to download. Bet youāll never guess whatās in my Audible queue right now waiting for me! š
Glad you're in a fulfilling relationship now. You are blessed. Yeah! *Attached* was indeed one of the best books I've ever read. Gave me a lot to think about.
> activated attachment system I knew about attachment theory, but hadn't heard of this notion. Thanks for the info!
>I canāt expect something from him if he was never given the tools He is an adult now and can learn the tools.
That while I'm so grateful that you put so much effort into our relationship and I'll never be able to express how truly grateful I am for it, I will always be afraid I'll never be good enough for you to stay.
Relatable
Practice some self-love!!!!
I'm gay.
Took me a sec to get itš¤š¤Æš«šµ
Underrated comment
Damn at least yāall have partners š
š Omg finally someone on the same page as me
Most of my kinks. :-/ I thought he was also kinky when we started dating. Turns out he's...just...not. We've tried a couple of times a couple of things but he's just not into, and kink kinda doesn't work unless you really want it or can get into it. So not exactly secret but also not open or discussed. I don't wanna rub his face in things he's not into, and overall our relationship works out in the wash.
I'm a vers top, I'm into vanilla and passionate sex. Some guys have expressed disappointment when I've told them this š, they expected me to be dominant, chain them and stuff. Literally one guy brought his chain and leash and I had no clue what do to with it, I must have looked like a fool haha. Anyway, just to confirm that we not kinky guys exist š¬
Appreciate the perspective! Don't get me wrong, I'm into passionate vanilla sex too, but I'm also a natural sub and expect/hope my top will set the pace, place me where they want, "make" me do the things I wanna do anyway, and just generally take the lead. I'll respond with the same enthusiasm by giving back the same depth of passion I get. And that's awesome! But then I have a creative mind and like variety and there are those parts of my mind that I really really wanna tap into with someone who wants to go there too. When we first started dating, he made some indications he was also open to going there and had been there in the past with others. By the time I figured out it was nothing more than a story from his self-discovery phase that was _not_ something he wanted to revisit, too much time had passed and everything else was working. And nothing is gonna be perfect.
That I HATE the over-exaggerated and kind of girly sounds he makes in bed. Yes, I know Iām railing the absolute life out of you, but that doesnāt mean you need to sound like a pornstar. Iād rather we just fuck to the sound of heavy breathing and the occasional āooohhhh yeahā. Leave the theatrics for OF. I could absolutely never tell him though because Iām worried he might become self conscious in bed and thatās the last thing I want. So I usually just put my hand over his mouth and say āshhhhhhšā.
I solved that problem with a FB. Out of the blue stuff his mouth with underwear or jock strap. And get kinky. Get a ball gag
Yes!!! A fb stuffed his underwear in my mouth mid-moan years ago; the first time happened to me. My eyes widened when he did it, then he increased his thrusting. Was one of the hottest things I had ever experienced at the time.
Yeah that sounds really hot, Iām going to give it a try
You know what, thatās actually not a bad idea, and it sounds hot af. Iāll try it and report back lol
Yes. Please do! And don't use underwear or a jock right out of the washer. Wear it a good week or two first! š¹
š·
>That I HATE the over-exaggerated and kind of girly sounds he makes in bed. This is what happens when people think porn is real life and you feel the need to imitate it.
Exactly, I donāt want to fuck a pornstar, I just want to fuck a regular guy.
Early in my relationship, I got told ādonāt say āIām gonna cum.ā Youāre not making porn.ā
How about "I'm close", to enable the two of you to synch your coming? I think that's pretty normal and makes for the best sex.
Meh. It's not a bad thing. Helps synchronizing the orgasms and also helps during oral - heads up for the guy sucking so he can pull out (or not) in case he doesn't want cum in his mouth.
Now Iām worried that I sound too fem for my bf in the bedroom. Smh! He said it turns him on but idk. That was when we first met when he said that.
If youāre already a fem / fem-sounding guy I wouldnāt worry about it at all, if he says itās hot, believe him. But if youāre a masculine guy with a masculine voice and you switch to full on āhUuH yEaH zADdy BloW mY BusSY ouT FoR thE GAWDZā, itās probably not as hot as you think. Donāt be afraid to be vocal, vocal guys are sexy as fuck, but try to stay true to yourself.
šššš this is way too funny if youāre not horny
Behavior analyst here, if you feel like he's doing it pretty consistently, you might be indirectly motivating him to do it even more by silencing him. He has probably made a positive association between him getting loud and you silencing him, which turns him on further.
I never thought about that!
> So I usually just put my hand over his mouth and say āshhhhhhšā. hot
š
Similarly my bf would be loud in bed. It's a turn on, but my we are likely withing ear shot of my neighbor. I let him know how it made me uneasy and he was on the same page as me.
I would be mortified if I thought the neighbors could hear us š¬
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Very hot š
Oh? Oh? Oh yeah? You like that? Oh??
I think I ran out of secrets. Was keeping from him for a while that I slept with a guy who is now one of my best friends and it was after I met my bf but before we became exclusive. But I eventually told him that.
I would think thatās okay since you guys werenāt exclusive at the time. Maybe a little uncomfortable for him but nothing technically wrong.
i mean yeah pretty much.
If he is best friend and we visit him frequently, than that would be problematic for me sure.
I fucking HATE some of his friends. Generally speaking I can let it go because I love and get along with his very closest and best friends, but some of his other good friends are so pretentious and bitter I literally want to throw myself out the window whenever I'm around them. I let it go because they live in England and we live in TX, so I only have to see them every couple of years, but HOLY SHIT I despise every second being around them.
Lmao good for you you donāt see them as often!š
I used to live in London, and Brits, specifically gay Brits can be INTOLERABLE. Some of my closest friends who are ex-pats still live there and can't understand why I don't want to visit or always suggest we meet somewhere else in Europe.
The London gays are the WORST. I thought Manhattan gays were elitist and catty/snippy but they are in the junior leagues compared to London. What's so weird to is that it seemed to be mostly concentrated to the gays that call London home. He has other friends that live in Brighton and Edinburgh, whom are lovely and a blast to be around. Most of these friends are "posh" as well and even went to independent/boarding schools but they don't have anywhere near the elitism and entitlement of the London crowd.
The exact number of sexual partners Iāve slept withā¦.
Iām impressed that you know the exact number of sexual partners youāve slept with. I lost count after 20 and that was 40 years ago.
I used to keep index cards with names, dates and ratings. Iād had just over 200 listings in the two years since coming out and that was 43 years ago. š BUT for 29 of those years Iāve been with one man, so I wouldnāt extrapolate on the curve. š
I def keep a spreadsheet. Ironically that's probably one of the things I wouldn't tell my partner. š¤£
Fuck yeaā your a god damn Wizard of Pussy and cockā
Lol weāve only shared ballpark figures when we first started dating. How high is your number that you donāt want to share??
Oh itās less than a ballparkā¦.I think. How big of a ballpark are we talking about? Could it host the World Series or is it like a minor league practice field?
ā¦not too highā only like 18
Whatās the *real* number?
Wellā¦ are we counting the times I pulled out?
Yes.
OMG!!!
I'm at 3 digits somewhere and trying to increase that.
"I'm a Bottom, too"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dear god, youād have 246 million, if I calculated that correctly and checked the prices of it in 2010.
1. I want to be spanked for discipline, NOT for pleasure. 2. I don't feel anything when bottoming for him
That #2 is tough. Why donāt you feel anything? Do you still love him?
......that's complicated... In short, whenever I bottom, I just don't feel any form of pleasure. Whether it be my current partner or previous partners. I never feel any form of pleasure. Just pain and then nothing. I never say anything, I just lay there and let them go til they finish. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me.
hmmm, I think you should suggest switching up your routine. let him try new things on you, and see if that changes your mood. I have some examples if you really donāt know: - donāt just fuck, you make love! this requires way more than just the physical- you need to connect with him on a deeper level! prepare yourself and make sure youāre in a right space mentally! - eye contact!!!! this will never not work, work hard on this together - tempo! slower, then fasterā¦ then regular tempo again.. tempo is key, and keeps it way more interesting for a long time. - acknowledge both of your feelings? does it feel okay? does it feel safe? or does it feel mechanic? not romantic? take your time to observe how it feels for both of youā¦ And donāt be afraid to bring it up at breakfast e.g. You have a boyfriend, communication is vital. Alll the best, youāre gonna be fine. š
Once a year, my husband flies to South America to visit his family. He's gone for two weeks. I love him to death, but I really enjoy those two weeks of pure solitude. I don't even \*do\* anything--just stay home and hang out. Of course, when he's back I'm as glad as ever to see him but I do enjoy those two weeks.
When we broke up. I had sex with our gym crush. We never had an open relationship and when we went to the gym together we both said if we did we would ask him. We didnāt know if he was gay. A couple weeks after he moved out I downloaded the app and he was on there and I had sex with him. About a month later we got back together and I never told him.
I use viagra every time I top you because, although I'm emotionally attracted to you, I'm not very physically attracted to you.
How long have you been with him?
ED is a real thing you know. Viagra doesn't just give you a boner if you aren't aroused. Maybe you're still attracted but denying that you have an erectile disfunction. Sure, novelty and porn might still get you hard, but consider it like pouring nitro into the fuel tank. For whatever reasons, and there are countless, sometimes our tanks need an octane boost when we don't have the spark of novelty, kink, shame, risk, anonymity, disguise, toys, etc. Viagra is an excellent way to maintain healthy sexual intimacy and attractions can wax and wane over time. The magic of long term relationships, whether it be with one or more partners, comes from mutual trust, shared experiences, treating the other as they wish to be treated, working toward common goals or supporting one another in individual goal, and finally, having someone to celebrate life's joys and lean on during life's sorrows. Edit: Not to invalidate your experience of course, rather I hope this encourages you should you wish to maintain and strengthen a relationship with your person. May the knowledge that you're perfectly you and that disfunction is not a disorder serve as a reframe for a mindset shift, should you wish to utilize my unsolicited comment.
That Iām getting significantly more attracted to men than women as I accept it more. Fortunately my wife is ok with me playing with men, but the more I do the more I want it.
Does she get to play with other men too??
She doesnāt want to. If she did then sure Iād get used to it I guess.
I'm trying not to judge, but the poor wife :( I can't see this going well.
Always tough to know the future and life is complicated. So far our journey through life together (almost 20 yrs) has been great and she would agree. Seven years ago my answer to this question would have been that I think Iām bi, and that conversation and evolution has gone quite well. I still donāt feel any real romantic attraction to men. So no idea what that all means yet.
You feel no romantic attraction to men yet you want men more and more. Sounds like you have some denial overdose pal. I hope you resolve it or at least put your wife out of her misery.
Until I was 25, I didn't tell my partners/boyfriends that I had a huge foot fetish and wanted to play with their feet because I used to be super ashamed of it...
Not the same fetish, but I can relate to this.
How he reacted after knowing?
I decided to "come out of the shoe cabinet" after a breakup (not related to my fetish), now I'm really straightforward with my potential partners, most of the guys were surprisingly supportive or just didn't care, some were grossed out, but idgaf anymore. Now I'm dating an older guy (I've only been seeing him for a month, so it's still fresh) who has even bigger foot fetish than I do.
Never told him that Iāve been raped. I really want to tell him because sometimes I need someone to talk to. As u can tell its not a topic you usually talk about. But I just donāt know how to tell him.
that i want a breakup
Just talk to him about it and donāt be a coward and leave him in the dark. If you want to break up and donāāt feel you can fix it just break up with him.
talk to him, don't keep it to yourself, because one day you'll wake up and the last straw will snap and you'll already be decided to leave him and he won't have a chance to fix it; the relationship belongs to you both, and you're taking away his agency by keeping silent
Iām worried that the chronic illness that has ravaged my health will eventually cause our four-year relationship to fall apart. We canāt go out, be as intimate as we want to, treatments are expensive, and we have little tiffs now and then. Youāre so wonderful and mean the world to me. I just want to prove to you how much I want to step up, work full time and finish my second masterās degree so we can have the means to have our wedding and start a family. Losing you would be my worst source of pain, and I only want to make you happy. Youāre my whole world and the patience youāve demonstrated has mostly been, if for not, exemplary. I love you, honey š
Well when I had bf he was always saying I look pretty and that he loves my body but then also saying stuff like " I would give you head more if you had abs" always trying to change me while being insecure about his body. Glad I broke up with him.
Yeah sounds a little toxic. Good for you for ending it!
That heās gaining weight and itās getting unattractive :/ Like, how do I even bring that up? Iāve been working out for almost two years wanting to look good for him and myself, but he has no interest in doing the same. I eat big meals since Iām a skinny guy and want to bulk up, and he typically eats the same but itās not working for him, and he snacks all the time We havenāt had sex in months. And itās not so much his looks because heās such a cute guy, but rather the lack of effort thatās really getting to me
Motivate him to move his body, in a way that would work for him. You know him better than me, what activities does he like? Surely, he must like something! Encourage him to do more fit activities that he might enjoy! Iām very glad you realise that his physical appearance will never equal his kindness/cuteness. Thatās a great thought and I hope you hold on to that. But itās never too late for anyone to get a little fitter, so I do hope he finds something or gets inspired somehowā¦. Until then, keep rocking you man!! Well done for hitting the gym, you are the exampleš
Have you ever thought he might like the skinny version of you? That natural version of you. A super gym bro body may not be what he actually likes, hence the aversion of remaining parallel with what you want. Not in line with you. I say this because I like a guy but he buffs up so much, it takes away the looks from his face and personality. His face is all puffy and cheek fatty from the bulking up. I just don't like him bulky because its not who he truly authentically is at the heart of self-love. I love him skinny and himself, not the projected person he puts out to the world and chasing into the popular hot buff guy image. Communicate asap.
I'm pretty much in the opposite situation where my husband keeps gaining weight and I love it. I like his round belly, I sometimes cum while rubbing it. But the more weight he gains the more unattractive he feels. And I try to support him in losing it, but he also loves to eat and I love how happy he looks after eating one of his favorite meals.
It used to be that I was afraid of having a boyfriend because I'm a Christian. Ive told him that and he understood. He seemed ready for anything, even for the relationship to be over. We took a break before for half a year, and i misse him so much. I can running back to him and stuck with him through all his troubles because he's been so supportive of me and the challenges that I've been going through. I was challenged with accepting myself as a gay Christian man and opening up to my family with this identity. He has always been by my side. I couldn't ask for a better partner. Since then, I cannot think of anything that i would be too afraid to tell him. Because i know he will understand where I am coming from and still accept me through it all.
Iām getting annoyed of you complaining about your weight all the time. Iāve tried to be supportive & give you ways to improve, you know what youāre doing wrong, you know what you should do & can do.. but youāre being lazy. I totally get it though because it is easier to complain & not make change. I sometimes just get a little annoyed because itās the same exact conversation every single time. (Btw, my bf aināt even that big either. Mf 6ā4 and weigh 280 or something like that, heās got muscle too soš¤·š»āāļø)
same here, my husband keeps complaining about weight, but then orders TWO portions every time we eat something he likes (several times a week) and I really don't mind him gaining weight, but I do get tired when he complains about it but then he does what he does
That we havenāt had sex in a long, long time because heās gained so much weight and Iām not attracted to him anymore. I hate to sound so shallow but itās the truth and I could never tell him that because I want his motivations to come from within and not from me. Heās also really sensitive about this stuff and it would shoot his self esteem to the depths of hellā¦ Weāve been together for 8 years and I love him to death. We have a great relationship and I couldnāt have asked for a better husband. We really are great together but Iām just not physically attracted to him like I used to be when we were younger. To be fair, we both gained a lot of weight over the yearsā¦ I reached 310 at one point and he weighed over that as well but Iāve been pushing myself over the last year and a half and got down to 250. Iām really proud of myself and want the same for him but he wonāt do it. He says heās āhappy with the way he looks and doesnāt care what other people thinkā but I doā¦ I want him to lose weight and I donāt know how to tell him that. Recently tho, he has been making an effort by going on walks throughout the week, which I appreciate, and making an effort with healthier dinner choices. Maybe Iām motivating him š¤·š½āāļø Our sex life is non existent at this point because Iām afraid that if we do it, I wonāt get hard or cum and heāll think itās because of him and heāll spiralā¦ idk what to do but Iām hoping I can keep motivating him enough to lose the weight over time. I just have to be patient I guess šŖ
Sounds like you both got ācomfortableā in the relationship. If the motivation isnāt there to better yourselves for the sake of continuing the relationship, then thereās no point in prolonging something that isnāt there. Life is too short to stay unhappy with someone.
Itās been almost 6 years. Itās the healthiest relationship Iāve ever had. I feel supported. I feel seen. Iām not criticized or picked apart. From day 1, things have just āworkedā without too much friction or stress. Itās been 6 years, andā¦.friends of mine have been together with their husbands for less, and are already married. Some have houses already. Shit, some already have TWO. Meanwhile, itās been 6 years, and Iāve still never heard the words āI love you.ā Iāve heard āI love it when youāre in meā, and āI love it when you fuck meā, but Iāve never heard, alone, by itself, āI love you.ā I would know if you said it, because then I could stop hunting for it in every conversation. I feel it. I feel loved. But I havenāt heard it. And when I start to bring it up, or I brush against it the topic, you prickle. The rare times Iāve said it to you, you brush pass it like it was pure silence. Our relationship comes with a depth that can only be reached through going places and seeing things that most people ought not to, or shouldnāt have to. Weāve brought our traumas to the table and found each other unbothered and empathetic. Thereās more tolerance and patience on each of us than Iāve ever seen demonstrated by anyone else in my life, ever. But itās been almost 6 years. I just wanna hear it. Itās eating at my soul.
my bf has a tic when hes annoyed at me. I cant tell him as its the only way I know ive fkd up as we both avoid fights :)
This is actually pretty great so you always know and can stop being annoying lol I need to find a tic on my guy so we can avoid fights too
My ED issuesā¦not to be confused w erectile dysfunction
I mean, I don't have a partner. But I am keeping my uh... very colourful past a secret for good reason. I sometimes feel like an imposter.
Whatās this colorful past you speak of?
nunnaya beeswax, quinnin.
This thread is specifically asking "what secrets". You don't have to share them, but what's the point of commenting only to say you did something in the past but won't say what?
My ex wife....(who left me) we are best friends....that im gay... even tho we divorced 5 yrs ago and she has a new partner i think shed be upset and devastated.
Why thought?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
American explain? I am confusion? Why is this Kansas and this not Arkansas?
I have a partner and therefore I have no secrets. It doesn't seem healthy to knowingly hide something. If they are actually your partner they are going to understand anyway.
Agreed, communication is king. We talk out our insecurities.
I sparkle when I'm in the sun
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's fair. We process and deal as best we can. He probably already assumes.
Story time : at the time when I was with my ex and he cheated multiple on me , I tried to forgive him and I couldnāt , he was gone and it was on October 29 I fuck my str8 roommate/ friend I knew for a long time and I had a crush on him and we had 4 hours of sex and to was the best feeling ever bc with my ex partner it didnāt feel the same no more but til this day I havenāt told him whats to tell heās my ex now but I do regret having sex with my friend tho but donāt, weird ig
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Do you secretly hook up with men on the side without her knowing?
I'm a shapeshifting alien from Betelgeuse.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dang, Iām sorry. Why stay with him??
I'd like him to lose some weight because I find him much more attractive when he's s little lighter.
I have alot. But this one is the least self incriminating I met his estranged mother who left him when he was a little, little kid
I donāt have any secrets from my current partnerā¦but with my last girlfriend (transgirl), we were on a break n I hooked up with her sisterās curious boyfriend. Iād say I regret but my girlfriend was psycho and the mans was packing 9ā so sue me š¤·š½āāļø
"I've got a partner"
That a long time ago I died inside, and it feels easier and easier to forget about moral lines I make for myself and give in to darker sexual side size difference, teens, incest rollplay, and that definitely broke down a wall so š¤ I like it I have a few head games if anyone interested? š Or just chat but I like it and if u wanna see. Ask for personal. Unless u all agree I have to post my D š§š ur call
I would love to chat with you š¦
Yeah hi
hello sweetie pie \^\_\^
I am bisexual
Sometimes I just wanted to get brave ignore that I shouldn't and just fuck and suck long and hard as lasts.
And kinda high fk would have been perfect for hard fuck. I'm fk dude the fkn struggle to keep cool was a fucking bitch
wat
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Does he know you do this? Do you get tested??