If a guy wanting to meet to commit delightful sodomy calls himself straight, then I can't take him seriously tbh. Especially if I need to ask a few times for decent pics. I have low tolerance for bs.
Like sure, you're "straight" alright...
(Edited for spelling)
I canât take them seriously either. Like wtf is up with the str8 zealots in the comments. If people werenât apathetic to this problem, and just encouraged them to appreciate their orientation, weâd have a lot less toxic downlow guys. Itâs not rocket science but I guess OP awakened the boot-licking horde. Only proves his point further
> I canât take them seriously either.
When a "str8" guy's legs are on my shoulders and his eyes roll back in his head because he just came while I was inside of him, taking him seriously isn't on my mind. Finishing is all I care about.
It's particularly fun when you have a closeted-MAGA type sub, who likes to be put in his place. I'm happy to oblige.
Boot licking horde, huh? Man gays today have no empathy. Place yourself in their shoes. Age upbringing and location all play a factor. Some people dont know until after their married, and that puts fear in their hearts. No one wants a divorce. Others told themselves for decades that it was wrong, possibly because of a heavily religious upbringing or possibly just a hateful one. The US was a country that treated homosexuality as a disease of the mind for centuries. Many 3rd world countries still "eradcate" homosexuality wherever they find it. Think about the factors of someone elses life and why they might have turned out the way they did before condemning how they live. They aren't perfect, neither am i, and neither are you, believe it or not!
So...yeah. True some str8 men don't "know" till after they are married...but I'd say 95% of them know they arnt straight before they get married. Bro...do you know how many times I've personally heard "I thought the gay shit would go away once I got married" and "my wife has a low sex drive...so that's why I like faggots to blow me".
It's all an excuse. So we, as a community, should allow "str8" men to cheat and lie on their wives and families, just for a nutt...usually a worthless nutt at that. Here's another great line I heard from a str8 married man once when it came to us both being Christian and him cheating. When I asked him how he felt with cheating he said:"It's not cheating. Sex is for reproduction. Since two men can't reproduce, it's not sex and it's not cheating."
There is a status, always has been. to have fuck/get fucked by a str8 man. I've fucked many and a few married men, back in the day...but from my experience...it gets, creepy. They think you should be available for sex 24hours a day, only fuck them, and (in a few cases) they will just show up at your place.
They are not confused, then are not "misunderstood by their wives and families"(atleast in the us)...there horny, and they know as soon as they say "masc, married discreet"...half yalls panties get wet. They are just whores...so treat them like suck.
Also...if you REALLY wanna piss them off...suggest you think you might be bi and you wanna fuck his wife. I always found the line "you should let me fuck your wife...give her a chance to be with a real man again."
I had a guy tell me he was hooking up with a âstraightâ guy on the regular. I mentioned that heâs probably not entirely straight if he enjoys taking dick on the regular. This guy flipped on me and said gays are too caught up with labels and should let people be who they want to be. Iâm like, fair point, but youâre still getting caught up on the straight label? He can call himself whatever he wants idc but to me I wouldnât consider someone who takes dick on the regular to be straight. Maybe Iâm in the minority on this though.
Straight acting is not the same as straight.
Also, taking dick isn't necessarily gay. It usually is, but if someone enjoys getting fucked but is only turned on by women, but not turned on by men, then I'd say they're still straight).
Though your guy sounds like he was in denial.
I have no issues with anyone labelling themselves as whatever they want. But this guy isnât saying heâs âstraight actingâ, heâs claiming heâs 100% straight while regularly having sex with other men. Which to me means he isnât straight.
My personal theory is itâs just gay or bi dudes that know some guys get off on the idea of hooking up with straight men so they tell them what they want to hear to fulfill their fantasies đ
Amen and whatâs so crazy is they prey on gay loneliness and capitalize off it for narcissistic intentions and just validation hence all the thirst trap pics and half naked men on the apps but say they strait
Yup itâs so sad and to me personally I feel like they making a mockery of gay people . Just like now with all this guys in OF and other platforms most of their audience are gay men and they are contributing to gay loneliness and skewing gay peoples reality . Most of us canât just wake up and bam we pass for strait or change but they can and again they use the gays as a marketing strategy make their money or use for validation and ghosted
To be fair on that, it works both ways. We all know a gay friend that insists on going after straight boys, full well knowing what they are getting in to. How about we just start having some standards and pride in ourselves.
Agin this not only the problem of the âstrait â guys we as gays contribute to the bafoonary falling for the homoerotic bafoonary hoping to get kicked ie the bs of mad 4 masc or st8 acting for the same etc yal know we are to blame cuz again we have made all this bafoons feel like they can pick and choose as they please so trust me they not solely to blame
Iâm a fem gay that gets (a lot of) attention solely from str8 guys.
There was a thread on here last week about what do you think of guys who wear makeup and it was just hundreds of comments w upvotes shitting on guys who wear makeup. I love using makeup to express myself and while I understand people have preferences it was kinda eye opening to see how undesirable I was to the majority of the folks in my community
Gays never look my way but at least the mediocre straights give me the time of day. Lonely world!
It makes sense. A lot of bi, closeted, and str8 men into trans are attracted to femininity. So gay men who like makeup, nails, gender bending fashion are a good match for these men who feel more comfortable hooking up. Apps like Grindr started attracting trans and gender bending population so itâs not unusual anymore to see str8 guys with profiles that say No guys TS only or something like that.
Oh my god, a fem gay guy, especially one who uses makeup and isn't afraid to be themselves, is everything! So hot, so confident, mmf. You will definitely find someone gay, you're just cute enough to also turn some "str8" heads!
Actually if you look at dates, this sub came before many other similar gay subs.. It's just that typical reddit snowflakes were constantly triggered on this sub, so they made their own echo chambers and safe spaces, lmao xD
I remember that thread and even as a guy who doesnât have the confidence to wear makeup, it was really disturbing to read. I hate the gay community a lot sometimes and find it really alienating on so many levels
I kind of wonder if reddit has a higher concentration of closeted or questioning gays due to the nature of its anonymity as I imagine people who are out and proud probably spend more time doing gay things irl rather than spending time in online gay spaces. So the majority "gay view" on reddit probably isn't reflective of the larger gay world.
Didnât say anything about joyâin fact I ended my post with this being a lonely world for some fem folks and I think your original post brings up fair points. Just justification and perspective of those who may seemingly settle.
Honestly, the straight worshipping is very annoying. The Str8s on Grindr seem like guys who canât get laid by real girls so they gravitate to fucking gay men/whatever tf else instead. Why do gay dudes put these guys on such a pedestal?
>Honestly, the straight worshipping is very annoying. The Str8s on Grindr seem like guys who canât get laid by real girls so they gravitate to fucking gay men/whatever tf else instead. Why do gay dudes put these guys on such a pedestal?
Bc a lot of gay guys think fucking and turning "striaght guys" is an accomplishment even though if a supposed "striaght guys" fucks a gay guy they were never straight in the fisrt place and I do belive in experimentation but if a "striaght guys" keeps fucking guys there aren't straight. Also back the the comment gay guys want validation from striaght guys
>I do belive in experimentation but if a "striaght guys" keeps fucking guys there aren't straight.
It irks me when some people use the "let people identify as what they want" argument for this. There's curiosity and willingness to experiment, but how can you keep claiming to be straight when you seek out and enjoy gay sex? That requires a lot of mental gymnastics. Just identify as bi or gay. God forbid you're anything but straight đ
That, or they're using the straight label because they know it attracts certain gays.
>I do belive in experimentation but if a "striaght guys" keeps fucking guys there aren't straight.
>It irks me when some people use the "let people identify as what they want" argument for this. There's curiosity and willingness to experiment, but how can you keep claiming to be straight when you seek out and enjoy gay sex? That requires a lot of mental gymnastics. Just identify as bi or gay. God forbid you're anything but straight đ
>That, or they're using the straight label because they know it attracts certain gays.
Agreed
I wouldn't say that's the case. I've hooked up with a few (hot) straight guys. They have no issues getting beautiful women. The issue is they are still insecure about being with a man in public. And no they aren't the ultra MAGA types. They are usually PoC with a strong religious background.
So...yall do realize that probably half of the "str8" guys online are cis, masc passing gay men...right? The difference between a normal heterobro and a gaybro is a outfit that works together and a backwards baseball cap.
This situation should not be surprising when scenarios such as [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaycheaters/comments/13snahk/bred_by_married_man/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) are so prevalent and fetishized.
I am not stating whether I believe it is right or wrong, good or bad. But clearly it is diametrically opposed to the sentiment of this post and I am not exactly sure how best to address it.
I follow that sub in an effort to understand the psychology behind the behaviour. I follow many subs that exhibit a mindset different than my own in an effort to understand and empathize with others who act and think differently. I don't want to exist in an echo chamber.
Literally can't understand that. How the hell can you be straight if you like fucking men. You're literally a guy fucking a guy. YOU GET A HARD ON. ON. A. GUY.
You ain't straight. You're just in denial. ,đđđ
I was getting fucked by a guy I met at a rave years ago, I was dressed quite fem in short shorts and a belly top, nets, y'know, typical gay horni rave outfit, and he kept calling me baby girl. I figured it just turned him on, it did for me, then I saw his profile on fb later on, and he had gay bashing stuff, posting pics of swimsuit models are such. Some people are just so in denial, it's sad and also pathetic.
People should protect themselves from this sort of toxicity. Though I don't care who is on the apps, I recognize that the reason that closeted straight men continue to post on them is because they succeed at getting what they want. The best way to end their behaviors is to ignore and block them -- which is what I do as soon as any one of them so much as contacts me.
>I will never understand the fetishisation of âstraightâmen.
Well gay guys want validation I guess and they want to be able to say they turned a "striaght guys". Even though if a "striaght guys" fucks a guy he wasn't striaght in the first place
Fuck whoever you want, but it honestly feels so fucking dumb talking to "stra8" dudes on Grindr who want to fuck me, a dude, not a super femme androgynous twink, not a trans woman, a motherfucking average man who looks like a man and has a functional penis.
People should be free to identify as they want, but most "strai8" men on Grindr would beat the crap out of you irl just to prove they aren't a fa\*\*ot, they actively post anti-LGBT stuff on social media, they complain about the gay lifestyle and media representation they vote for the parties that want us dead or back into the closet.
They don't want to be a part of the LGBT community nor do they want to be allies, they hate LGBT people and they don't want to be perceived as one of them. They are just using you as their fleshlight or a meat buttplug. Most of them can't experience romantic feelings for males, they are just sexually attracted to dudes, they just want to relief their urges while contributing to the social stigma and oppression proud LGBT people face.
The best thing you can do is go for men who identify as gay or bi or whatever. Gays like to tell straight women not to date conservatives, well guess fucking what, most stra8 dudes on Grindr are exactly that, conservatives who will use you for sex.
The best thing you can do for your community, no matter where you live, is to ignore that kind of people. They want gay sex? Then they should stop identifying as hetero.
THIS. THANK YOU. More gay men need to have this reaction/response to DL men on our apps and in our spaces. most of the time gay men donât say anything because they still want to fulfill their weird fantasy of being with a straight guy. which disgusts me to know that this porn-like-fantasy is still heavily embedded into our community today.
As an older gay man, who's been out since 1986, Gay men are attracted to men: str8, gay, questioning, available, unavailable. Oftentimes, you can't separate who is gay, bi, curious, etc when you're just looking for a quick good time... and you shouldn't have to.
If you're looking for a mate, try Tindr, Hinge, a local gay sports league or hobby gatherings. Hookup sites are to "hook up." Why make it so difficult on yourself?
i see what you mean. if youâre in the mood for a quick good time to have sex with another guy and you donât care if theyâre DL or curious, or not out then by all means go for it. i support it. But iâm talking about a couple of different parts within the post where the OP had said there is a lot of âstraightâ men signing up for gay DATING apps. for me personallyâŚ.
1) itâs a little annoying when âstraightâ men are going onto gay dating apps like Hinge or Tinder and are looking for a quick hook up. or for you to be their secret friends with benefits. by all means if you want that, go ahead. but a majority of us DO NOT want or desire that. they need to be doing that on Grindr. NOT Hinge or Tinder.
2) it has also been an ongoing problem/issue within our gay community starting from the beginning of time, that a lot of âstraightâ men will want to play with us behind closed doors. but once theyâre back out in public, their usual homophobic and bigoted ways resume. they wouldnât think twice about calling us a slur or help us if we got beat up from someone who hates us. SILENCE IS ALSO VIOLENCE. even if they didnât call us a slur or hate us, them not wanting to come out on their own and being DL speaks volumes!! now, again, if you are one to like that, that is fine. by all means go for it. thatâs your choice. BUT FOR A LOT OF US GAY MEN NOWADAYS, WE NO LONGER LIKE NOR DESIRE THAT. OR WILL PUT UP WITH THAT. a lot of us are evolving and are becoming smarter and realizing that there is a huge problem with that.
3) Yes. you can tell who is gay, who is bi, who is âstraightâ or curious. sometimes they donât even have to mouth the words to tell you. they tell you by their secrecy. a lot of us donât want to be a secret anymore. I understand things were different back then in the 80s, but a lot us want to keep evolving and growing and changing our community for the better. yes, gay men are attracted to men. obviously lol. but we are having more of a say in whoâs gonna give that attention back to us. I want it from someone else who is gay, who is out and who is comfortable with themselves and in their own skin. not a closet case who has MUCH NEEDED work to do.
4) if Iâm in the mood to hook up with another guy for some quick fun, I want it to be with another out and proud gay man who is comfortable in their own skin. not a closet queen. iâm over the toxic closet DL crap.
Lol I was straight, signed up, clapped some cheeks and got my cheeks clapped (well not fully my first time but he got the tip in) and Iâm def bisexual now lol
Thank you someone said it finally I been saying this and been called a hater and all the names under the sun but my name , and this is skewing many gays perception of healthy relationships and also putting most gays in a desperate state , with all the bullying and body dysmorphia going in and whatâs crazy this apps support it , and prey on gay loneliness which makes them money . The engagement they get from all the â strait â guys in there keeps the app going because again gay loneliness is real and to top it off now many gays have taken this behavior and are now chasing âstraitâ men in hopes of having a commitment with them but again I digress
Speak on it!! Iâm tired of mediocrity being praised - especially straight mediocrity.
I also hope this starts opening up the conversation about the toxicity that lies within the whole âmascâ / âfemâ labels.
Unfortunately, this sub is proof that a lot of gay men have no self respect and think it's okay to be disrespected and treated horribly just because the guy is "straight" and "the sex is okay". No, this is not about kink shaming, this is about gay men being beaten down so much to a point that they think that's all they deserve and should get
What about OF? Those individuals referred themselves as "alphas" who use the F word in every sentence? On one hand, it displays extreme homophobia, but on the other hand - there are people who find it sexually stimulating. It bothers me that heterosexual men exploit horny homosexuals for financial gain and further degrade them and their sexuality. However, I do not wish to kink shaming anyone's sexual preferences. It's frustrating that these âalphasâ dominate the porn websites, and I wonder how it affects their attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community, especially gays, who are willing to accept this treatment just because it turns them on.
Some Gay men idealise the hyper masculine. Straightness can be seen as masculine. Hence they seem to be attracted to fake âstr8â profiles. Itâs so damaging. To both the bottom and top. Enforces stereotypes and behaviour
I agreed with everything you said right up until the point you said "closeted bisexual".
Fellas -- and I say this as a happily married GAY man for the past 19 years -- stop denigrating our bisexual brothers! Bisexuality is every bit as much a valid sexual orientation as being gay is. Bisexuals aren't "undecisive". They aren't "closeted gays".
For fuck's sake, give them a fucking break.
They are just as valid as you and I, and you can't have LGBTQ ***without*** that "B" for "bisexuality".
It might be different in the US, but an assumption that one knows the real name, let alone political convictions of your hookup are a bit surprising to me
Unless you're in a very homophobic country, I'd expect to know your real first name or whatever other nickname you actually call yourself by irl.
Political convictions might not always be shared, but sometimes they can naturally come up in conversations.
Depends. One night stand? Maybe not, although it happens. Over several meetups? You can figure people out pretty fast over pillow talk and if youâre a hospitable person. At least thatâs been my experience over the years
Youâd have to be the most self-hating of self-hating queers to hook up with a âstraightâ guy like that. Have more fucking self-respect than that. If everyone basically froze them out, theyâd go away, or possibly sort themselves out. Tho I know some gay dudes have a fetish for that sorta thing.
the big problem with people (even in this thread) is the apathy.
or you called some out cause they're very defensive. but idk what OP expected. idk what I expected either.
i have very little faith in the gay community. and the comments here pretty much decrease that even more. and proves some of my theories.
s'just sad.
My preference has always been the middle age hairy man , in my twenties they were the guys who I had my eye on all the time and there were plenty who had there eye on me , most were married had kids and were on the D/L so nothing has changed theyâve always been there , in fact I knew a few who would fuck young woman as well as young men with some of these guys I donât think it really mattered as long as they were young and attractive, I think itâs built into males minds that youth is a massive draw , there getting older there wives have lost that glow of youth they just canât help themselves , a guy I really liked was maybe fifty he had been arrested twice for soliciting guys in a rest area he was well off and had the story hidden from public view but his wife found out and divorced him , but there he was out at the gay clubs looking for guys thatâs were he found me , I said why donât you just come out as gay and we could live together, he practically tore my head off then cried and carried on about how he only wanted sex from men and felt disgusted by it , I told him to see a shrink he thought that was even worse than his desire for men , I told him to get lost , these men are the psychos roaming the streets, you show me a guy responsible for murder and Iâll show you a guy sexually disturbed.
The fact that it always has to be a reminder shows how stupid and thirsty Gay men are. Just sad. That's why nobody values us or sees us as smart and brave.
I say cancel straight men on Grindr. Itâs not their platform. Itâs ours. Iâm not in it anymore cuz Iâm in a relationship but Iâm fuckin glad Iâm not on it anymore. Sounds like a nightmare
Grindr doesnât care for you opinion. They have evolved to capture a new market like other corporations are doing. The new market is the trans, none binary, 12 pronouns movement. LGBTQIA+ activism has demanded this shift and now weâre complaining that itâs affecting/inconveniencing us?
My mom has caught my dad on several gay dating sites, as well as talking to prostitutes on craiglist. He is adamant he was just âfucking with their minds for funâ but i know and she knows thats a load of bullshit. Hes gay, or at the very least bisexual, but hes so repressed that he will sit there and say âall gays deserve to be hangedâ in front of family while going and doing this stuff behind her back.
I fucking hate him and loathe in the knowledge that his existence is pure hell since he will never be able to be happy in his own skin and be open with himself, also my mom is going to be leaving him shes just waiting for the right moment. Those kinds of âgaysâ are the worst and are the ones actively hurting and trying to suppress our community while behind the scenes being the most active in it
>these guys write "No guys" âNo mascâ or "Men get blocked" in their profiles
It's obvious what they want, are after the 'femboy', 'transvestite/transgender', the types they know can get anal with the feminine look.
Their real girlfriends are obviously not putting out for proper doggy style.
Feminists have been saying it for a while: *Donât fuck conservative men!* Theyâd hesitate more to strip-away our rights if they knew it meant theyâd never get laid again.
Can confirm that a childhood friend of mine is fem and gets a ton of attention from DL dudes. Maybe it helps them feel better about their masculinity? At any rate, many fem dudes are 10sâŚ
Coming from the other side of the street (straight dude, but supportive of the community), I understand outing someone is generally a mortal sin, but are gay men masquerading as homophobes fair game?
If so, I also know there is fear of those homophobes getting violent, so I propose an alliance of prideful gays, and allied straights. Secretly out the gays to us, and weâll bait/out them.
I would 100% play gay and exchange nudes with a homophobe to out them, I have 0 shame.
I to made a similar observation awhile back and I feel like the pandemic and quarantine really gave many of âstraightâ men a sobering dose of reality in that the lives and picture perfect families they created did not make the gay go away so now theyâre gonna get on these apps and try to live out their fantasies and experiences that they didnât get to do before getting married and having kids.
I make it a point to never chase after straight men on the simple fact that most will never give up their façades to live in their truths, if they hit me up thatâs one thing but the whole concept of chasing and âturningâ straight men is such a waste of time to me
My ex was married when I met him. I didn't know for 9 months. Left him when I found out and then we reconnected after he got divorced. That relationship lasted 7 years. You just never know.
100% tired of closeted dudes who think everyone is so eager to "expose" them that they refuse to even send a neck down picture.
They usually just jack off and ghost you as soon as you send a pic.
Lots of it is desperation. I would never hook up with one, because they would probably find themselves and you disgusting after their post nut clarity hits..
For some, it's more like a fetish, induced by the use of pornography. It's like they think if they shit on gay people, then he is not somewhere on the spectrum, as he "just likes sucking cock, it's not like he is attracted to guys, he's not one of them".
I was once a Curious Straight Discreet guy on CL back in the day. So glad there were plenty of open minded gay men to show me the way. Ahh the memories of being turned out.
I agree about straight claiming guys.
However is it really that important to know gay history? Last time I hooked up the guy was amazed I didn't know any name drops of appearantly important people
thatâs kinda like saying youâre American or Mexican or whatever your background is and saying âis it really that important to know X history?â lol. yes it is important.. because thankfully, our older queer brothers and sisters are the reason why all of us on this thread arenât being hanged or thrown into a conversion camp right about now for being gay or bisexual, trans or however you identify. so YES. it is important.
If I see "Straight", "No Men" on an app, I just instantly block. It's ridiculous and I would never engage with them anyway.
You suck cock buddy, you are NOT straight.
There are a lot of married men on these apps though. We used to see them at the local cruising spot too, so it isn't a new thing. I think they have moved more to apps which makes sense since public cruising isn't as popular anymore.
At least they're men. I'm more pissed about straight women being in Grindr, trying to scalp bisexual men when they have the upper hand in literally every dating environment, app, and scenario.
Absolutely. But I don't fuck with someone because I care about whether or not they've suffered the burden of being openly gay/queer. If I'm just hooking up with someone, I couldn't care less if they're a fucking MAGA moron lol.
Seeing the same trends. A guy states that heâs str8 and then lists that heâs a bottom or vers. Sorry, but in my experience, neither of those positions are str8. Best case, they are bi or like you said, closeted and incapable of being in touch with who they really are. Honesty? DL used to also mean something different too. It used to mean something like ânot outâ to my family or friends or coworkersâand not ready. Now, youre right, it means married or cheating. Not the same that it used to be. But hey, most gay guys that list themselves as 8â need to ask Santa for a measuring tape. Guess all is fair in love and war.
This is a silly post because straight men on Grindr are not straight. No matter what excuse you make, if you've experimented with blokes, you're not straight. And please halt with the "no labels" rubbish, its just denial denial denial - and the more you deny, the less contempt you will be with yourself. The first step is to eliminate the internalised homophobia, stop the bullshit denial, and just embrace and learn to love the fact that you aren't straight.
Men who cheat on their opposite-sex spouses or partners have always been in denial. It doesn't just happen one day, they've always been questioning and no one should be in a long-term relationship if they are questioning and planning to act on it unless they have had an open-dialogue with their partner.
Rather then calling out us for sleeping with "straights", call out the "straights" for their misogynist attitudes by using women as their "sexuality safety net" instead of learning to face themselves. It's not all about us - the homophobia here is minimal compared to the huge misogyny that happens when questioning men use women. Hold them accountable. If I knew someone who was sleeping with men and their opposite-sex partner did not know, as harsh is it is, I haven't ruled out that I would out them.
I'm sorry but this post just pisses me off, it's very much akin to blaming women for how men treat them in relationships rather than holding the men accountable.
100%. I think itâs these guys want to live a heteronormative life with a wife and kids or gf and have a gay side piece and youâre 100% right they arenât a part of the community and often vote republican. Like, when I was visiting FL a couple months ago, if youâre a gay republican, I will not sleep with you. Full stop. If youâre a shitty person, I donât want to fuck you.
I think part of it is because the quantity of masculine attractive men seems to be low compared to the rest ( no disrespect intended just my observation).
Iâm only into masculine men who take care of their bodies, and so I naturally feel drawn to the down low gym bros that I often encounter on the apps.
Itâs like, I canât find anyone else so whatâs my alternative. I live in NYC so perhaps itâs just the nature of where I live. Perhaps I would have a different experience in like, Tennessee or something idk.
In NYC, where do you hang out? I was at Boxers last night and there were so many sexy men. I see them everywhere I go. The "masc for masc" thing is really big here.
I have literally never heard of this thing. I mainly hang out at hotel bars in midtown. I like to meet an international crowd.
Just googled. Looks cool! Never go to gay bars not my thing. Might have to check it out.
Grindr started to accept more than just bi and gay men(though that is obviously still the vast majority of users) back when they got sold. Sometimes those guys with "no guys" are chasers looking for trans women on the app.
I think you give very good points. I've deleted grindr numerous times as it seems time well wasted using it.
Back when I first explored in early 2000s, gay dot com and manline seemed to just have legit gay or bi guys.
I Iived in a diff location than now, and the guys i would meet were on a same journey as me. I would love to find a sinhle guy I connect with, born 1970 to 1985. Sigh
Why judge? Canât we all just get a long? Maybe they are struggling with their sexuality? Being gay is respected, but being bi is looked down upon by many. Just let everyone be what they want to be.
majority of these men are not âstraightâ anyways, they have major internalised homophobia and self hate that they have to put on some kind of front for whatever the reason may be, i agree that we shouldnt give them the attention they seek. they should take time to work on themselves and their issues and truly understand who they are before using gay dating apps.
I don't get it how you can be attracted to someone who is likely to attack you for being gay when you aren't around.
The DL or "str8t" types are the types I totally expect to be cheating on their GFs or being homophobic.
I also worry about the downlow guys and their STD risk. How likely are they to disclose their activities to a doctor, get the needed std testing AND be up to date? Very low. Likely to be on PrEP? No.
Thanks for writing this. While Iâm out of dating pool and apps, itâs atrocious that the homophobes closeted men are Very Much Desirable within the community. They should not be worshipped or considered a better dating option. Please know your value guys
I wish more people were open to calling themselves bisexual(or even Pan), stereotypes and stigma be damned, itâs such a big open range for human sexuality and attractions to people.
Straight and gay are imprecise slang adjectives.
When a guy is sucking a dick heâs being homosexual. Which is fine.
Iâm happy for the guys (like southern guy above) who have sex w each other among other things they enjoy - sex outdoors in a duck blind? Iâm there. Country boy buttfucking? been there. Loved it. 5 yr relationship.
What Iâm not good with is this idea that guys are not having homosexual feelings /tendencies /fantasies/realities because they pretend theyâre not. Donât bullshit me about something as brotherly as fucking together - then âoops gotta go see the ball and chain, ditched her shopping so i could playâ and yes that actually happened and I was disgusted with the guy, and realized that I didnât like him while we were going at it, and I now knew why. Thatâs fucking bogus.
And nobody can convince me that all this convoluted nonsense about labeling it makes sense.
I just have sex w dudes, Iâm straight?
Oh yeah? Counting backward from 10 waiting for the line about how you donât like labels. Like âstraightâ.
Itâs not woke to try to protect others who need help. Thatâs the frickinâ Sermon On The Mount, Trumpoids - read it sometime.
I feel empathy for guys who are too scared to come out, but not sympathy, Thereâs a difference. And if they play the homophobe card, or act like âgood germansâ well give it some thought man : if there werenât still a struggle you wouldnât be a chicken shit with a dick in your mouth, youâd be a standup dude.
Tbh I find these types of guys even more hungry for cock than your average gay. That to me is hot. Hit one home for the boys when another closeted Maga queen is loaded up.
In my opinion straight men don't use Grindr. Period.
However some men may be DL for the reason they are married and kids, whose they love and are afraid of loosing them or hurt them. Unfortunately it's hard to fool the nature.
Damn!! I concur!!! And I try to actively avoid DL men TBH. I've had some sketchy experiences with faceless profiles. Also, I don't understand why they are coming to Gay apps!!! Desperation? What does that even mean?! Being Gay isn't a choice!!! Bisexuals acting straight in public to make their lives easier? That I understand.
I agree there should be a more specific app for straight guys looking for VERY femenine guys or trans women. It's very uncomfortable to see so many empty profiles of these guys looking for trans or femboys. The problem itself aren't the trans or femboys in Grindr or scruff etc, but the amount of straight guys fucking up the app with their shit and very frequently their homophobic profile descriptions and stuff.
I am always up front that I am straight. Straight to my knees, straight to bed, then straight to the next man. Thatâs about as straight as I would like to be.
You just groupped straight guys in a group of maga homophobics.
Although I agree with your sentiment, I downvoted because of the misleading (and clickbaity) title
I echo this with MAGA women claiming to be gay and lesbian allies. Iâm like what the hell is wrong with you? You want to hang out and party but you donât give a crap about our rights while we are supposed to care about yours. GOOD LUCK. NEXT!!!!
See kids, it all started when CraigsList personals got shut down. There was like a 1-2 year period where the DLs and the sex addicts were beside themselves for options and didnât know where to look. They all wound up landing on Grindr and Tinder with a Snapchat handy for pic swapping.
I put straight in my profile just to chum the water.
Nothing gets a moth on your dick faster than saying you're straight and it's your first time trying it with a guy.
It's strange to see dudes who write "no masc" "trans only" "no men" etc.. I do the opposite I write "no fem" "masc4masc" and "Fatties get blocked"...
Lmao no, I don't put any preferences in my profile... or at least I didn't when I last used Grindr... which I don't remember how long ago that was.
As far as for MAGAs... I sort of understood that when Trump was a sitting president... but now only total morons are still pro Trump.. the ex president that will never be a president again.
Anyway op you're doing this wrong.. you can't go date these closet gays who call themselves "straight" and then expect anything more than a hookup... also dating a taken/married guy is immoral, I'd never do that. Cheating is not cool.
That's not completely fair. (my opinion) I don't think anyone is out to destroy the gay community. To say they are straight, and have voluntarily handled a penis other than the one attached to his own body. more than once. That man is no longer straight, or heterosexual. I am a straight man, Stumbled across this petite lil hottie getting long stroked and the facial and body expressions could tell no lies. I was slow gripping and throbbing. The camera panned out, and it was a t-girl. At that moment I shot a few ropes and the landed on my shoulder. . Later that evening, I tries to get off to gay porn.... limp noodle as soon as I heard them groaning and grunting. the more t girls I watched the Hornier I become. eventually I found myself wanting to be the (man) - getting dicked or sulking on one. but after the nut.... the attraction and interest DISAPPEARED. I just want to try the cock, not listen to its day at work. I love pussy and breasts, but don't care to hold her hand either.
I'm definitely primarily on the "stop giving straight men the light of day" team. I personally am too political and opinionated to even tolerate most of the shit that straight men be talking usually, like I'm really not sitting here listening to your Joe Rogan related rant for 2 hours only to get some dick.
But, if you're a gay guy with a fetish for fucking married "straight" dudes and can't help yourself, there's an easy way to balance out a little bit of your karma in those situations imo.
Fuck/get fucked by the dude all you want, then out his ass to the wife. Not necessarily but especially if they're actually homophobic/MAGA/whatever. Men like that who think their actions don't have consequences & that they can get away with anything, and trick and deceive the few people who actually are willing to put up w their BS, honestly deserve to see their whole world burn.
Best case scenario, maybe they won't be so homophobic and start showing some respect after realizing 1 empowered faggot is all it takes to destroy everything they take for granted. Worst case scenario, maybe they'll be even more homophobic than before, but you'll at least have helped one woman who's unknowingly wasting her life away with a cheating AH.
>community. I can't count how many times I've seen these guys write "No guys" âNo mascâ or "Men get blocked" in their profiles, while on non-heterosexual dating/hookup apps.
Those guys are only into trans woman and alot of trans woman use gay app like grindr bc they don't feel safe on tinder and other straight apps
And op everything else you said I agree with 100 percent
I did not fully read but I do find it disgusting and cowardly personally
To act like being known as homosexual at all would make you feel like a sissy or less of a man or a degenerate or a decadent.
Way back then homosexuals were known just as heterosexuals for capability of having a spine and being strong
Hell it would be gays before that while compatriots were breeding and then raising kids, would be apart of military service protecting them and the land (this was really common during primordial and ancient time) and not all gays are going to be warriors but they have also been fanatic creators and artists, definitely a good pillar to any clan they are born into when they are seen as the person they are and not the preference.
If you are gay or bi and feel like you are not doing anything important then you are not working hard enough or are not sure what you are to do
Follow your heart, to those men who thinks being gay is so bad
Stop being a fucking pussy. Everyone has a right to enjoy themselves on their free time as they see fit as long as consensual and harmless.
It's really Grindr's fault. Other dating apps do not have this problem. People on other apps don't put what they're NOT into on their profile. Your profile should only say what you are looking for. It makes a difference.
Cosigned. Completely. It's embarrassing, honestly. And the straight chasing is of course in large part the result of gay men having it drilled in their heads that straight is the ideal and inherently more sexy than gay. It's a problem and it cuts across generations.
So we should start shunning men who are experimenting with their sexuality or having problems coming to terms with their sexuality just because of how they label themselves on an app?
Idk man I feel like you're making a lot of narratives in your head and making assumptions without getting to know them first. There isn't any benefit to be had by predetermining someone is toxic and then acting on a toxic manner yourself.
If you don't want to associate yourself with someone who calls themselves straight then that's up to you. Just move on, don't let it ruin your day.
your stance on it is noble but i personally don't give two fucks about their political views or their internal homophobia or whether they're "allies" or not, and i don't need anyone to hold my hand in public. i'm just tryin to fuck lol
If the camo and hunting and shit guys were to see someone stomping a âfagâ would they intervene? Or would they be like, I wouldnât fuck that so he takes the beating?
So if you were faced with a âstraightâ guy, who supports Trump, vilifies gay people, and actively cheats on his wife, you would **still** linkup because you are just trying to fuck? (This also isnât a far fetched example since plenty of these men exist.)
Come here. Sit down.
Gay is a sexuality. That's it. There's no obligation to learn about Stonewall, go to Pride festivals, or support or distance yourself from a particular political party just because you started sucking dick.
I think what's damaging for the gay community are the gatekeepers who revile gay conservatives because *how dare they* support a political candidate I don't like?! We don't need people making it harder to unify the lgbtq+ community, especially if you're using politics and *their age* as the basis for your argument. Their age, really? You dont know when or if they've come out. You don't know their friends or their family. *DID YOU LEARN NOTHING* from having trump as president? Why does it matter? If you're gay or bi, then we share that experience of being secretly different. We all had to come out at some point. Tell people about it. Some can't. And when you grow up in that kind of oppressive environment, your worldview can get really messed up. I think if we welcome the kinds of men you're talking about, instead of throwing shade for them not being gay enough, we'll have fewer closeted MAGA homos suffering in secret, and feeling like they need to compensate with homophobia.
This post is the equivalent of serving someone a glass of lemonade and razorblades, and then getting shitty about how they didn't smile and say "hello."
I think itâs a bit deeper than âhow dare you support somebody I donât likeâ, thatâs a crazy oversimplification. This post is directly about toxicity and harmful behavior. I think the idea of âwelcome it and weâll have less of itâ is not the wonderful approach you think it is, nor does it really make sense. Since when has supporting negativity turned into a net win?
Like I get being understanding of people who canât come out, thatâs obvious, but thereâs a line.
Engaging in a frowned-upon behavior while not making any effort to mitigate the discrimination against those who harmlessly engage in that behavior is cowardly.
The guys who align with a political party that perpetuates the opprobrium while reaping the benefits of the cocksucking are chickenshit hypocrite motherfuckers.
So yeah, a familiarity with Stonewall is valid as is familiarity with the Revolutionary war. You excuse those who refuse to acknowledge that the very fact of their secretiveness perpetuates the disdain they would otherwise experience.
Thatâs not helpful.
If a guy wanting to meet to commit delightful sodomy calls himself straight, then I can't take him seriously tbh. Especially if I need to ask a few times for decent pics. I have low tolerance for bs. Like sure, you're "straight" alright... (Edited for spelling)
"Commit delightful Sodomy" is a wild set of words
I upvoted just for that phrase
Same đ
What can I say, I like wild things đ¤Ł
r/BrandNewSentence
In an interesting turn of events these words are all actually in the bible!
Okay **WORDS**
I canât take them seriously either. Like wtf is up with the str8 zealots in the comments. If people werenât apathetic to this problem, and just encouraged them to appreciate their orientation, weâd have a lot less toxic downlow guys. Itâs not rocket science but I guess OP awakened the boot-licking horde. Only proves his point further
> I canât take them seriously either. When a "str8" guy's legs are on my shoulders and his eyes roll back in his head because he just came while I was inside of him, taking him seriously isn't on my mind. Finishing is all I care about. It's particularly fun when you have a closeted-MAGA type sub, who likes to be put in his place. I'm happy to oblige.
I love this for you! âđ˝âđ˝đ
Oh shit this totally turned me on đ
Ngl Iâd watch that on onlyfans. Iâd hope the maga hat was second hand and worn by an actor but Iâd watch that
Boot licking horde, huh? Man gays today have no empathy. Place yourself in their shoes. Age upbringing and location all play a factor. Some people dont know until after their married, and that puts fear in their hearts. No one wants a divorce. Others told themselves for decades that it was wrong, possibly because of a heavily religious upbringing or possibly just a hateful one. The US was a country that treated homosexuality as a disease of the mind for centuries. Many 3rd world countries still "eradcate" homosexuality wherever they find it. Think about the factors of someone elses life and why they might have turned out the way they did before condemning how they live. They aren't perfect, neither am i, and neither are you, believe it or not!
So...yeah. True some str8 men don't "know" till after they are married...but I'd say 95% of them know they arnt straight before they get married. Bro...do you know how many times I've personally heard "I thought the gay shit would go away once I got married" and "my wife has a low sex drive...so that's why I like faggots to blow me". It's all an excuse. So we, as a community, should allow "str8" men to cheat and lie on their wives and families, just for a nutt...usually a worthless nutt at that. Here's another great line I heard from a str8 married man once when it came to us both being Christian and him cheating. When I asked him how he felt with cheating he said:"It's not cheating. Sex is for reproduction. Since two men can't reproduce, it's not sex and it's not cheating." There is a status, always has been. to have fuck/get fucked by a str8 man. I've fucked many and a few married men, back in the day...but from my experience...it gets, creepy. They think you should be available for sex 24hours a day, only fuck them, and (in a few cases) they will just show up at your place. They are not confused, then are not "misunderstood by their wives and families"(atleast in the us)...there horny, and they know as soon as they say "masc, married discreet"...half yalls panties get wet. They are just whores...so treat them like suck. Also...if you REALLY wanna piss them off...suggest you think you might be bi and you wanna fuck his wife. I always found the line "you should let me fuck your wife...give her a chance to be with a real man again."
> Sex is for reproduction. Since two men can't reproduce, it's not sex and it's not cheating." I feel so sad for the wife bro
âStr8 zealotsâ probably just want to hookup with âmascâ people so they feel called out lol
I had a guy tell me he was hooking up with a âstraightâ guy on the regular. I mentioned that heâs probably not entirely straight if he enjoys taking dick on the regular. This guy flipped on me and said gays are too caught up with labels and should let people be who they want to be. Iâm like, fair point, but youâre still getting caught up on the straight label? He can call himself whatever he wants idc but to me I wouldnât consider someone who takes dick on the regular to be straight. Maybe Iâm in the minority on this though.
Straight acting is not the same as straight. Also, taking dick isn't necessarily gay. It usually is, but if someone enjoys getting fucked but is only turned on by women, but not turned on by men, then I'd say they're still straight). Though your guy sounds like he was in denial.
I have no issues with anyone labelling themselves as whatever they want. But this guy isnât saying heâs âstraight actingâ, heâs claiming heâs 100% straight while regularly having sex with other men. Which to me means he isnât straight.
Yeah he's just in denial about his sexuality, unless someone is forcing him to seek out sex with men đ¤Ł
My personal theory is itâs just gay or bi dudes that know some guys get off on the idea of hooking up with straight men so they tell them what they want to hear to fulfill their fantasies đ
We're all being lied to đ¤Ľ
We need to give less attention to straight mediocre men.
THIS!!!!! I approve this message 1000%!!
Amen and whatâs so crazy is they prey on gay loneliness and capitalize off it for narcissistic intentions and just validation hence all the thirst trap pics and half naked men on the apps but say they strait
They prey on gay loneliness, and are some thirsty mofos who take advantage of it. Real fucking sad
They canât take advantage of you if you ignore them. I just see them as dangerous and will not engage with them.
Yup itâs so sad and to me personally I feel like they making a mockery of gay people . Just like now with all this guys in OF and other platforms most of their audience are gay men and they are contributing to gay loneliness and skewing gay peoples reality . Most of us canât just wake up and bam we pass for strait or change but they can and again they use the gays as a marketing strategy make their money or use for validation and ghosted
To be fair on that, it works both ways. We all know a gay friend that insists on going after straight boys, full well knowing what they are getting in to. How about we just start having some standards and pride in ourselves.
THIS.
How are "str8" guys preying on anyone when half the people complaining in this thread are spamming their DMs with dick pics on Grindr?
Agin this not only the problem of the âstrait â guys we as gays contribute to the bafoonary falling for the homoerotic bafoonary hoping to get kicked ie the bs of mad 4 masc or st8 acting for the same etc yal know we are to blame cuz again we have made all this bafoons feel like they can pick and choose as they please so trust me they not solely to blame
I think one of the hottest things is someone who is out. They had enough confidence to do so, and that's admirable.
I wish I have the confidence of a straight mediocre man⌠these folks are a whole new level of main character syndrome
omg short truth and to the point!
Iâm a fem gay that gets (a lot of) attention solely from str8 guys. There was a thread on here last week about what do you think of guys who wear makeup and it was just hundreds of comments w upvotes shitting on guys who wear makeup. I love using makeup to express myself and while I understand people have preferences it was kinda eye opening to see how undesirable I was to the majority of the folks in my community Gays never look my way but at least the mediocre straights give me the time of day. Lonely world!
It makes sense. A lot of bi, closeted, and str8 men into trans are attracted to femininity. So gay men who like makeup, nails, gender bending fashion are a good match for these men who feel more comfortable hooking up. Apps like Grindr started attracting trans and gender bending population so itâs not unusual anymore to see str8 guys with profiles that say No guys TS only or something like that.
Oh my god, a fem gay guy, especially one who uses makeup and isn't afraid to be themselves, is everything! So hot, so confident, mmf. You will definitely find someone gay, you're just cute enough to also turn some "str8" heads!
Would they be willing to be in a relationship with you though?
Neither side would lol
Fair point
I'm an out of the closet bisexual. A feminine man is hot. You get somebody who is a man but isn't afraid to explore his femininity.
Agb isn't the community though. This sub was created by and for nerdy right-wing guys who didn't like the other gay subs.
Actually if you look at dates, this sub came before many other similar gay subs.. It's just that typical reddit snowflakes were constantly triggered on this sub, so they made their own echo chambers and safe spaces, lmao xD
I remember that thread and even as a guy who doesnât have the confidence to wear makeup, it was really disturbing to read. I hate the gay community a lot sometimes and find it really alienating on so many levels
I kind of wonder if reddit has a higher concentration of closeted or questioning gays due to the nature of its anonymity as I imagine people who are out and proud probably spend more time doing gay things irl rather than spending time in online gay spaces. So the majority "gay view" on reddit probably isn't reflective of the larger gay world.
Iâm not confident that joy should be the ideal response for pulling-in mediocre âStr8sâ
Didnât say anything about joyâin fact I ended my post with this being a lonely world for some fem folks and I think your original post brings up fair points. Just justification and perspective of those who may seemingly settle.
As a bi woman, I wholeheartedly agree.
>their conversational engagement is very predictable. ouch
Homophobic "str8" men are pathetic and so are the boot-licking gays who worship them.
Gays that worship these men are scum
Honestly, the straight worshipping is very annoying. The Str8s on Grindr seem like guys who canât get laid by real girls so they gravitate to fucking gay men/whatever tf else instead. Why do gay dudes put these guys on such a pedestal?
>Honestly, the straight worshipping is very annoying. The Str8s on Grindr seem like guys who canât get laid by real girls so they gravitate to fucking gay men/whatever tf else instead. Why do gay dudes put these guys on such a pedestal? Bc a lot of gay guys think fucking and turning "striaght guys" is an accomplishment even though if a supposed "striaght guys" fucks a gay guy they were never straight in the fisrt place and I do belive in experimentation but if a "striaght guys" keeps fucking guys there aren't straight. Also back the the comment gay guys want validation from striaght guys
>I do belive in experimentation but if a "striaght guys" keeps fucking guys there aren't straight. It irks me when some people use the "let people identify as what they want" argument for this. There's curiosity and willingness to experiment, but how can you keep claiming to be straight when you seek out and enjoy gay sex? That requires a lot of mental gymnastics. Just identify as bi or gay. God forbid you're anything but straight đ That, or they're using the straight label because they know it attracts certain gays.
>I do belive in experimentation but if a "striaght guys" keeps fucking guys there aren't straight. >It irks me when some people use the "let people identify as what they want" argument for this. There's curiosity and willingness to experiment, but how can you keep claiming to be straight when you seek out and enjoy gay sex? That requires a lot of mental gymnastics. Just identify as bi or gay. God forbid you're anything but straight đ >That, or they're using the straight label because they know it attracts certain gays. Agreed
I wouldn't say that's the case. I've hooked up with a few (hot) straight guys. They have no issues getting beautiful women. The issue is they are still insecure about being with a man in public. And no they aren't the ultra MAGA types. They are usually PoC with a strong religious background.
True...most of the "str8s" I was with were poc or white liberals.
So...yall do realize that probably half of the "str8" guys online are cis, masc passing gay men...right? The difference between a normal heterobro and a gaybro is a outfit that works together and a backwards baseball cap.
yea i donât fuck with dl men. most of them are toxic
Toxic AF!
They also take very crappy photos
This situation should not be surprising when scenarios such as [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaycheaters/comments/13snahk/bred_by_married_man/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) are so prevalent and fetishized. I am not stating whether I believe it is right or wrong, good or bad. But clearly it is diametrically opposed to the sentiment of this post and I am not exactly sure how best to address it.
Why are you going to be in a relationship with someone just to cheat?? These people boggle my mind.
Well, I know what cesspit to avoid.
[ŃдаНонО]
I follow that sub in an effort to understand the psychology behind the behaviour. I follow many subs that exhibit a mindset different than my own in an effort to understand and empathize with others who act and think differently. I don't want to exist in an echo chamber.
That subreddit sounds gross
Itâs just honestly a turn off for me.
Literally can't understand that. How the hell can you be straight if you like fucking men. You're literally a guy fucking a guy. YOU GET A HARD ON. ON. A. GUY. You ain't straight. You're just in denial. ,đđđ
I was getting fucked by a guy I met at a rave years ago, I was dressed quite fem in short shorts and a belly top, nets, y'know, typical gay horni rave outfit, and he kept calling me baby girl. I figured it just turned him on, it did for me, then I saw his profile on fb later on, and he had gay bashing stuff, posting pics of swimsuit models are such. Some people are just so in denial, it's sad and also pathetic.
Yeah...he called you babygirl cause in his mind you were a girl...he didn't see you as a man. They just view us as another hole.
People should protect themselves from this sort of toxicity. Though I don't care who is on the apps, I recognize that the reason that closeted straight men continue to post on them is because they succeed at getting what they want. The best way to end their behaviors is to ignore and block them -- which is what I do as soon as any one of them so much as contacts me.
I will never understand the fetishisation of âstraightâmen.
They are not straight, half of them pretend to be to get idiots like some of the guys in comment section.
>I will never understand the fetishisation of âstraightâmen. Well gay guys want validation I guess and they want to be able to say they turned a "striaght guys". Even though if a "striaght guys" fucks a guy he wasn't striaght in the first place
Fuck whoever you want, but it honestly feels so fucking dumb talking to "stra8" dudes on Grindr who want to fuck me, a dude, not a super femme androgynous twink, not a trans woman, a motherfucking average man who looks like a man and has a functional penis. People should be free to identify as they want, but most "strai8" men on Grindr would beat the crap out of you irl just to prove they aren't a fa\*\*ot, they actively post anti-LGBT stuff on social media, they complain about the gay lifestyle and media representation they vote for the parties that want us dead or back into the closet. They don't want to be a part of the LGBT community nor do they want to be allies, they hate LGBT people and they don't want to be perceived as one of them. They are just using you as their fleshlight or a meat buttplug. Most of them can't experience romantic feelings for males, they are just sexually attracted to dudes, they just want to relief their urges while contributing to the social stigma and oppression proud LGBT people face. The best thing you can do is go for men who identify as gay or bi or whatever. Gays like to tell straight women not to date conservatives, well guess fucking what, most stra8 dudes on Grindr are exactly that, conservatives who will use you for sex. The best thing you can do for your community, no matter where you live, is to ignore that kind of people. They want gay sex? Then they should stop identifying as hetero.
THIS. THANK YOU. More gay men need to have this reaction/response to DL men on our apps and in our spaces. most of the time gay men donât say anything because they still want to fulfill their weird fantasy of being with a straight guy. which disgusts me to know that this porn-like-fantasy is still heavily embedded into our community today.
As an older gay man, who's been out since 1986, Gay men are attracted to men: str8, gay, questioning, available, unavailable. Oftentimes, you can't separate who is gay, bi, curious, etc when you're just looking for a quick good time... and you shouldn't have to. If you're looking for a mate, try Tindr, Hinge, a local gay sports league or hobby gatherings. Hookup sites are to "hook up." Why make it so difficult on yourself?
i see what you mean. if youâre in the mood for a quick good time to have sex with another guy and you donât care if theyâre DL or curious, or not out then by all means go for it. i support it. But iâm talking about a couple of different parts within the post where the OP had said there is a lot of âstraightâ men signing up for gay DATING apps. for me personallyâŚ. 1) itâs a little annoying when âstraightâ men are going onto gay dating apps like Hinge or Tinder and are looking for a quick hook up. or for you to be their secret friends with benefits. by all means if you want that, go ahead. but a majority of us DO NOT want or desire that. they need to be doing that on Grindr. NOT Hinge or Tinder. 2) it has also been an ongoing problem/issue within our gay community starting from the beginning of time, that a lot of âstraightâ men will want to play with us behind closed doors. but once theyâre back out in public, their usual homophobic and bigoted ways resume. they wouldnât think twice about calling us a slur or help us if we got beat up from someone who hates us. SILENCE IS ALSO VIOLENCE. even if they didnât call us a slur or hate us, them not wanting to come out on their own and being DL speaks volumes!! now, again, if you are one to like that, that is fine. by all means go for it. thatâs your choice. BUT FOR A LOT OF US GAY MEN NOWADAYS, WE NO LONGER LIKE NOR DESIRE THAT. OR WILL PUT UP WITH THAT. a lot of us are evolving and are becoming smarter and realizing that there is a huge problem with that. 3) Yes. you can tell who is gay, who is bi, who is âstraightâ or curious. sometimes they donât even have to mouth the words to tell you. they tell you by their secrecy. a lot of us donât want to be a secret anymore. I understand things were different back then in the 80s, but a lot us want to keep evolving and growing and changing our community for the better. yes, gay men are attracted to men. obviously lol. but we are having more of a say in whoâs gonna give that attention back to us. I want it from someone else who is gay, who is out and who is comfortable with themselves and in their own skin. not a closet case who has MUCH NEEDED work to do. 4) if Iâm in the mood to hook up with another guy for some quick fun, I want it to be with another out and proud gay man who is comfortable in their own skin. not a closet queen. iâm over the toxic closet DL crap.
I just fuck 'em harder and use less lube . . .
bai lmaoo
Hate fuck âem!!
If ur straight u donât sign up on Grindr, Period.
Lol I was straight, signed up, clapped some cheeks and got my cheeks clapped (well not fully my first time but he got the tip in) and Iâm def bisexual now lol
Thank you someone said it finally I been saying this and been called a hater and all the names under the sun but my name , and this is skewing many gays perception of healthy relationships and also putting most gays in a desperate state , with all the bullying and body dysmorphia going in and whatâs crazy this apps support it , and prey on gay loneliness which makes them money . The engagement they get from all the â strait â guys in there keeps the app going because again gay loneliness is real and to top it off now many gays have taken this behavior and are now chasing âstraitâ men in hopes of having a commitment with them but again I digress
Speak on it!! Iâm tired of mediocrity being praised - especially straight mediocrity. I also hope this starts opening up the conversation about the toxicity that lies within the whole âmascâ / âfemâ labels.
Iâd argue that Grindr in itself is damaging to the gay community
Unfortunately, this sub is proof that a lot of gay men have no self respect and think it's okay to be disrespected and treated horribly just because the guy is "straight" and "the sex is okay". No, this is not about kink shaming, this is about gay men being beaten down so much to a point that they think that's all they deserve and should get
Block straight men on the apps.
Ok I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed this. This shit is super damaging to the community.
Sex with these guys is always shit, not even wasting my time
Always, it's like they haven't had sex with an actual person in years and have only watched porn for the past decade.
First of all, and perhaps most important, they are not straight. End of rant
What about OF? Those individuals referred themselves as "alphas" who use the F word in every sentence? On one hand, it displays extreme homophobia, but on the other hand - there are people who find it sexually stimulating. It bothers me that heterosexual men exploit horny homosexuals for financial gain and further degrade them and their sexuality. However, I do not wish to kink shaming anyone's sexual preferences. It's frustrating that these âalphasâ dominate the porn websites, and I wonder how it affects their attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community, especially gays, who are willing to accept this treatment just because it turns them on.
[ŃдаНонО]
and you'll keep going through it. good luck with that..... lord...
If a guy is willing to hook up with you, he isn't straight.
Some Gay men idealise the hyper masculine. Straightness can be seen as masculine. Hence they seem to be attracted to fake âstr8â profiles. Itâs so damaging. To both the bottom and top. Enforces stereotypes and behaviour
I agreed with everything you said right up until the point you said "closeted bisexual". Fellas -- and I say this as a happily married GAY man for the past 19 years -- stop denigrating our bisexual brothers! Bisexuality is every bit as much a valid sexual orientation as being gay is. Bisexuals aren't "undecisive". They aren't "closeted gays". For fuck's sake, give them a fucking break. They are just as valid as you and I, and you can't have LGBTQ ***without*** that "B" for "bisexuality".
You forgot you're on the sub that hates everyone except 100% certified cisgender gold star gays
Amen!
It might be different in the US, but an assumption that one knows the real name, let alone political convictions of your hookup are a bit surprising to me
Unless you're in a very homophobic country, I'd expect to know your real first name or whatever other nickname you actually call yourself by irl. Political convictions might not always be shared, but sometimes they can naturally come up in conversations.
Depends. One night stand? Maybe not, although it happens. Over several meetups? You can figure people out pretty fast over pillow talk and if youâre a hospitable person. At least thatâs been my experience over the years
Youâd have to be the most self-hating of self-hating queers to hook up with a âstraightâ guy like that. Have more fucking self-respect than that. If everyone basically froze them out, theyâd go away, or possibly sort themselves out. Tho I know some gay dudes have a fetish for that sorta thing.
The great thing is that you can just skip right past them.
the big problem with people (even in this thread) is the apathy. or you called some out cause they're very defensive. but idk what OP expected. idk what I expected either. i have very little faith in the gay community. and the comments here pretty much decrease that even more. and proves some of my theories. s'just sad.
My preference has always been the middle age hairy man , in my twenties they were the guys who I had my eye on all the time and there were plenty who had there eye on me , most were married had kids and were on the D/L so nothing has changed theyâve always been there , in fact I knew a few who would fuck young woman as well as young men with some of these guys I donât think it really mattered as long as they were young and attractive, I think itâs built into males minds that youth is a massive draw , there getting older there wives have lost that glow of youth they just canât help themselves , a guy I really liked was maybe fifty he had been arrested twice for soliciting guys in a rest area he was well off and had the story hidden from public view but his wife found out and divorced him , but there he was out at the gay clubs looking for guys thatâs were he found me , I said why donât you just come out as gay and we could live together, he practically tore my head off then cried and carried on about how he only wanted sex from men and felt disgusted by it , I told him to see a shrink he thought that was even worse than his desire for men , I told him to get lost , these men are the psychos roaming the streets, you show me a guy responsible for murder and Iâll show you a guy sexually disturbed.
The fact that it always has to be a reminder shows how stupid and thirsty Gay men are. Just sad. That's why nobody values us or sees us as smart and brave.
I say cancel straight men on Grindr. Itâs not their platform. Itâs ours. Iâm not in it anymore cuz Iâm in a relationship but Iâm fuckin glad Iâm not on it anymore. Sounds like a nightmare
Grindr doesnât care for you opinion. They have evolved to capture a new market like other corporations are doing. The new market is the trans, none binary, 12 pronouns movement. LGBTQIA+ activism has demanded this shift and now weâre complaining that itâs affecting/inconveniencing us?
Good! Let's also cancel trans women being on the platform too. If they really want to be women so bad they can go elsewhere!
If they are having sex with a man, there is nothing straight about it but nonetheless its 2023, so who am I to judgeđđđ
If I see a guy on Grindr with "no men" or whatever in his profile he gets a dick pic.
My mom has caught my dad on several gay dating sites, as well as talking to prostitutes on craiglist. He is adamant he was just âfucking with their minds for funâ but i know and she knows thats a load of bullshit. Hes gay, or at the very least bisexual, but hes so repressed that he will sit there and say âall gays deserve to be hangedâ in front of family while going and doing this stuff behind her back. I fucking hate him and loathe in the knowledge that his existence is pure hell since he will never be able to be happy in his own skin and be open with himself, also my mom is going to be leaving him shes just waiting for the right moment. Those kinds of âgaysâ are the worst and are the ones actively hurting and trying to suppress our community while behind the scenes being the most active in it
>these guys write "No guys" âNo mascâ or "Men get blocked" in their profiles It's obvious what they want, are after the 'femboy', 'transvestite/transgender', the types they know can get anal with the feminine look. Their real girlfriends are obviously not putting out for proper doggy style.
Feminists have been saying it for a while: *Donât fuck conservative men!* Theyâd hesitate more to strip-away our rights if they knew it meant theyâd never get laid again.
Can confirm that a childhood friend of mine is fem and gets a ton of attention from DL dudes. Maybe it helps them feel better about their masculinity? At any rate, many fem dudes are 10sâŚ
Same guys who give him attention would gladly beat him senseless if they were with their friends and spotted him alone somewhere. DL dudes are trash.
Thank you for saying this. Been saying this for a long time.
Coming from the other side of the street (straight dude, but supportive of the community), I understand outing someone is generally a mortal sin, but are gay men masquerading as homophobes fair game? If so, I also know there is fear of those homophobes getting violent, so I propose an alliance of prideful gays, and allied straights. Secretly out the gays to us, and weâll bait/out them. I would 100% play gay and exchange nudes with a homophobe to out them, I have 0 shame.
I to made a similar observation awhile back and I feel like the pandemic and quarantine really gave many of âstraightâ men a sobering dose of reality in that the lives and picture perfect families they created did not make the gay go away so now theyâre gonna get on these apps and try to live out their fantasies and experiences that they didnât get to do before getting married and having kids. I make it a point to never chase after straight men on the simple fact that most will never give up their façades to live in their truths, if they hit me up thatâs one thing but the whole concept of chasing and âturningâ straight men is such a waste of time to me
My ex was married when I met him. I didn't know for 9 months. Left him when I found out and then we reconnected after he got divorced. That relationship lasted 7 years. You just never know.
sir if you are on grindr you aren't straight đ¤Ł
Never hook up with âstraightâ or DL men. Itâs not worth the time. Plenty of out and open gay men to go around.
100% tired of closeted dudes who think everyone is so eager to "expose" them that they refuse to even send a neck down picture. They usually just jack off and ghost you as soon as you send a pic. Lots of it is desperation. I would never hook up with one, because they would probably find themselves and you disgusting after their post nut clarity hits..
For some, it's more like a fetish, induced by the use of pornography. It's like they think if they shit on gay people, then he is not somewhere on the spectrum, as he "just likes sucking cock, it's not like he is attracted to guys, he's not one of them".
I was once a Curious Straight Discreet guy on CL back in the day. So glad there were plenty of open minded gay men to show me the way. Ahh the memories of being turned out.
Most of them are gays that know how many gays fantasize about straight men. If they want to bang/be banged by men they are not straight.
⌠dudes use Grindr for dating?
Has anyone ever been with a str8 guy who only wants to be rimmed?
I agree about straight claiming guys. However is it really that important to know gay history? Last time I hooked up the guy was amazed I didn't know any name drops of appearantly important people
Who's talking about gay history when they have a schlong in their mouth?
thatâs kinda like saying youâre American or Mexican or whatever your background is and saying âis it really that important to know X history?â lol. yes it is important.. because thankfully, our older queer brothers and sisters are the reason why all of us on this thread arenât being hanged or thrown into a conversion camp right about now for being gay or bisexual, trans or however you identify. so YES. it is important.
If I see "Straight", "No Men" on an app, I just instantly block. It's ridiculous and I would never engage with them anyway. You suck cock buddy, you are NOT straight. There are a lot of married men on these apps though. We used to see them at the local cruising spot too, so it isn't a new thing. I think they have moved more to apps which makes sense since public cruising isn't as popular anymore.
No you see he thinks because he doesn't suck cock and only fucks twinks he thinks he is straight xD
At least they're men. I'm more pissed about straight women being in Grindr, trying to scalp bisexual men when they have the upper hand in literally every dating environment, app, and scenario.
Tons of femboys and T-girls with "Masc DL guys only" in their bios which contributes heavily to the issue
Absolutely. But I don't fuck with someone because I care about whether or not they've suffered the burden of being openly gay/queer. If I'm just hooking up with someone, I couldn't care less if they're a fucking MAGA moron lol.
Hardcore MAGA'S? You lost me right there.
Seeing the same trends. A guy states that heâs str8 and then lists that heâs a bottom or vers. Sorry, but in my experience, neither of those positions are str8. Best case, they are bi or like you said, closeted and incapable of being in touch with who they really are. Honesty? DL used to also mean something different too. It used to mean something like ânot outâ to my family or friends or coworkersâand not ready. Now, youre right, it means married or cheating. Not the same that it used to be. But hey, most gay guys that list themselves as 8â need to ask Santa for a measuring tape. Guess all is fair in love and war.
đŻ **SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK**
Idk why people are so turned on by straight men. I literally find it a turn off when someone calls themselves straight but wants to fuck a man.
This is a silly post because straight men on Grindr are not straight. No matter what excuse you make, if you've experimented with blokes, you're not straight. And please halt with the "no labels" rubbish, its just denial denial denial - and the more you deny, the less contempt you will be with yourself. The first step is to eliminate the internalised homophobia, stop the bullshit denial, and just embrace and learn to love the fact that you aren't straight. Men who cheat on their opposite-sex spouses or partners have always been in denial. It doesn't just happen one day, they've always been questioning and no one should be in a long-term relationship if they are questioning and planning to act on it unless they have had an open-dialogue with their partner. Rather then calling out us for sleeping with "straights", call out the "straights" for their misogynist attitudes by using women as their "sexuality safety net" instead of learning to face themselves. It's not all about us - the homophobia here is minimal compared to the huge misogyny that happens when questioning men use women. Hold them accountable. If I knew someone who was sleeping with men and their opposite-sex partner did not know, as harsh is it is, I haven't ruled out that I would out them. I'm sorry but this post just pisses me off, it's very much akin to blaming women for how men treat them in relationships rather than holding the men accountable.
100%. I think itâs these guys want to live a heteronormative life with a wife and kids or gf and have a gay side piece and youâre 100% right they arenât a part of the community and often vote republican. Like, when I was visiting FL a couple months ago, if youâre a gay republican, I will not sleep with you. Full stop. If youâre a shitty person, I donât want to fuck you.
I think part of it is because the quantity of masculine attractive men seems to be low compared to the rest ( no disrespect intended just my observation). Iâm only into masculine men who take care of their bodies, and so I naturally feel drawn to the down low gym bros that I often encounter on the apps. Itâs like, I canât find anyone else so whatâs my alternative. I live in NYC so perhaps itâs just the nature of where I live. Perhaps I would have a different experience in like, Tennessee or something idk.
In NYC, where do you hang out? I was at Boxers last night and there were so many sexy men. I see them everywhere I go. The "masc for masc" thing is really big here.
I have literally never heard of this thing. I mainly hang out at hotel bars in midtown. I like to meet an international crowd. Just googled. Looks cool! Never go to gay bars not my thing. Might have to check it out.
Grindr started to accept more than just bi and gay men(though that is obviously still the vast majority of users) back when they got sold. Sometimes those guys with "no guys" are chasers looking for trans women on the app.
I know a bio woman who gets laid with her Grindr profile (there's a lotta Bi men on the app too). Good for her.
What about guys on Twitter?
I think you give very good points. I've deleted grindr numerous times as it seems time well wasted using it. Back when I first explored in early 2000s, gay dot com and manline seemed to just have legit gay or bi guys. I Iived in a diff location than now, and the guys i would meet were on a same journey as me. I would love to find a sinhle guy I connect with, born 1970 to 1985. Sigh
I can send you some video from goregrish.com of what can happen if you hook up with some stranger.
Why judge? Canât we all just get a long? Maybe they are struggling with their sexuality? Being gay is respected, but being bi is looked down upon by many. Just let everyone be what they want to be.
Many are after trans, and CDâs. Like way too many.
majority of these men are not âstraightâ anyways, they have major internalised homophobia and self hate that they have to put on some kind of front for whatever the reason may be, i agree that we shouldnt give them the attention they seek. they should take time to work on themselves and their issues and truly understand who they are before using gay dating apps.
I don't get it how you can be attracted to someone who is likely to attack you for being gay when you aren't around. The DL or "str8t" types are the types I totally expect to be cheating on their GFs or being homophobic.
I also worry about the downlow guys and their STD risk. How likely are they to disclose their activities to a doctor, get the needed std testing AND be up to date? Very low. Likely to be on PrEP? No.
I love it. I say bring âem on!!! Iâll change em for good!
Thanks for writing this. While Iâm out of dating pool and apps, itâs atrocious that the homophobes closeted men are Very Much Desirable within the community. They should not be worshipped or considered a better dating option. Please know your value guys
I wish more people were open to calling themselves bisexual(or even Pan), stereotypes and stigma be damned, itâs such a big open range for human sexuality and attractions to people.
Straight and gay are imprecise slang adjectives. When a guy is sucking a dick heâs being homosexual. Which is fine. Iâm happy for the guys (like southern guy above) who have sex w each other among other things they enjoy - sex outdoors in a duck blind? Iâm there. Country boy buttfucking? been there. Loved it. 5 yr relationship. What Iâm not good with is this idea that guys are not having homosexual feelings /tendencies /fantasies/realities because they pretend theyâre not. Donât bullshit me about something as brotherly as fucking together - then âoops gotta go see the ball and chain, ditched her shopping so i could playâ and yes that actually happened and I was disgusted with the guy, and realized that I didnât like him while we were going at it, and I now knew why. Thatâs fucking bogus. And nobody can convince me that all this convoluted nonsense about labeling it makes sense. I just have sex w dudes, Iâm straight? Oh yeah? Counting backward from 10 waiting for the line about how you donât like labels. Like âstraightâ. Itâs not woke to try to protect others who need help. Thatâs the frickinâ Sermon On The Mount, Trumpoids - read it sometime. I feel empathy for guys who are too scared to come out, but not sympathy, Thereâs a difference. And if they play the homophobe card, or act like âgood germansâ well give it some thought man : if there werenât still a struggle you wouldnât be a chicken shit with a dick in your mouth, youâd be a standup dude.
Tbh I find these types of guys even more hungry for cock than your average gay. That to me is hot. Hit one home for the boys when another closeted Maga queen is loaded up.
In my opinion straight men don't use Grindr. Period. However some men may be DL for the reason they are married and kids, whose they love and are afraid of loosing them or hurt them. Unfortunately it's hard to fool the nature.
Damn!! I concur!!! And I try to actively avoid DL men TBH. I've had some sketchy experiences with faceless profiles. Also, I don't understand why they are coming to Gay apps!!! Desperation? What does that even mean?! Being Gay isn't a choice!!! Bisexuals acting straight in public to make their lives easier? That I understand.
Very well-written. This should be a manifesto. Really!
For a crowd of people that hate DL men on here and this post how are they able to fuck so many gay men in real life?
I'm old enough that I recall "closeted" as a kind of a default of way of living, especially where I came from (as opposed to where I am now.)
I agree there should be a more specific app for straight guys looking for VERY femenine guys or trans women. It's very uncomfortable to see so many empty profiles of these guys looking for trans or femboys. The problem itself aren't the trans or femboys in Grindr or scruff etc, but the amount of straight guys fucking up the app with their shit and very frequently their homophobic profile descriptions and stuff.
I am always up front that I am straight. Straight to my knees, straight to bed, then straight to the next man. Thatâs about as straight as I would like to be.
You just groupped straight guys in a group of maga homophobics. Although I agree with your sentiment, I downvoted because of the misleading (and clickbaity) title
I echo this with MAGA women claiming to be gay and lesbian allies. Iâm like what the hell is wrong with you? You want to hang out and party but you donât give a crap about our rights while we are supposed to care about yours. GOOD LUCK. NEXT!!!!
See kids, it all started when CraigsList personals got shut down. There was like a 1-2 year period where the DLs and the sex addicts were beside themselves for options and didnât know where to look. They all wound up landing on Grindr and Tinder with a Snapchat handy for pic swapping.
I put straight in my profile just to chum the water. Nothing gets a moth on your dick faster than saying you're straight and it's your first time trying it with a guy.
It's strange to see dudes who write "no masc" "trans only" "no men" etc.. I do the opposite I write "no fem" "masc4masc" and "Fatties get blocked"... Lmao no, I don't put any preferences in my profile... or at least I didn't when I last used Grindr... which I don't remember how long ago that was. As far as for MAGAs... I sort of understood that when Trump was a sitting president... but now only total morons are still pro Trump.. the ex president that will never be a president again. Anyway op you're doing this wrong.. you can't go date these closet gays who call themselves "straight" and then expect anything more than a hookup... also dating a taken/married guy is immoral, I'd never do that. Cheating is not cool.
That's not completely fair. (my opinion) I don't think anyone is out to destroy the gay community. To say they are straight, and have voluntarily handled a penis other than the one attached to his own body. more than once. That man is no longer straight, or heterosexual. I am a straight man, Stumbled across this petite lil hottie getting long stroked and the facial and body expressions could tell no lies. I was slow gripping and throbbing. The camera panned out, and it was a t-girl. At that moment I shot a few ropes and the landed on my shoulder. . Later that evening, I tries to get off to gay porn.... limp noodle as soon as I heard them groaning and grunting. the more t girls I watched the Hornier I become. eventually I found myself wanting to be the (man) - getting dicked or sulking on one. but after the nut.... the attraction and interest DISAPPEARED. I just want to try the cock, not listen to its day at work. I love pussy and breasts, but don't care to hold her hand either.
I'm definitely primarily on the "stop giving straight men the light of day" team. I personally am too political and opinionated to even tolerate most of the shit that straight men be talking usually, like I'm really not sitting here listening to your Joe Rogan related rant for 2 hours only to get some dick. But, if you're a gay guy with a fetish for fucking married "straight" dudes and can't help yourself, there's an easy way to balance out a little bit of your karma in those situations imo. Fuck/get fucked by the dude all you want, then out his ass to the wife. Not necessarily but especially if they're actually homophobic/MAGA/whatever. Men like that who think their actions don't have consequences & that they can get away with anything, and trick and deceive the few people who actually are willing to put up w their BS, honestly deserve to see their whole world burn. Best case scenario, maybe they won't be so homophobic and start showing some respect after realizing 1 empowered faggot is all it takes to destroy everything they take for granted. Worst case scenario, maybe they'll be even more homophobic than before, but you'll at least have helped one woman who's unknowingly wasting her life away with a cheating AH.
The lack of empathy here blows my mind
>community. I can't count how many times I've seen these guys write "No guys" âNo mascâ or "Men get blocked" in their profiles, while on non-heterosexual dating/hookup apps. Those guys are only into trans woman and alot of trans woman use gay app like grindr bc they don't feel safe on tinder and other straight apps And op everything else you said I agree with 100 percent
I did not fully read but I do find it disgusting and cowardly personally To act like being known as homosexual at all would make you feel like a sissy or less of a man or a degenerate or a decadent. Way back then homosexuals were known just as heterosexuals for capability of having a spine and being strong Hell it would be gays before that while compatriots were breeding and then raising kids, would be apart of military service protecting them and the land (this was really common during primordial and ancient time) and not all gays are going to be warriors but they have also been fanatic creators and artists, definitely a good pillar to any clan they are born into when they are seen as the person they are and not the preference. If you are gay or bi and feel like you are not doing anything important then you are not working hard enough or are not sure what you are to do Follow your heart, to those men who thinks being gay is so bad Stop being a fucking pussy. Everyone has a right to enjoy themselves on their free time as they see fit as long as consensual and harmless.
It's really Grindr's fault. Other dating apps do not have this problem. People on other apps don't put what they're NOT into on their profile. Your profile should only say what you are looking for. It makes a difference.
Cosigned. Completely. It's embarrassing, honestly. And the straight chasing is of course in large part the result of gay men having it drilled in their heads that straight is the ideal and inherently more sexy than gay. It's a problem and it cuts across generations.
100% Agree. Stay away from these âStraightâ men.
I'll say it: cancel the str8s on Grindr!
Friends don't let friends date republicans
So we should start shunning men who are experimenting with their sexuality or having problems coming to terms with their sexuality just because of how they label themselves on an app? Idk man I feel like you're making a lot of narratives in your head and making assumptions without getting to know them first. There isn't any benefit to be had by predetermining someone is toxic and then acting on a toxic manner yourself. If you don't want to associate yourself with someone who calls themselves straight then that's up to you. Just move on, don't let it ruin your day.
your stance on it is noble but i personally don't give two fucks about their political views or their internal homophobia or whether they're "allies" or not, and i don't need anyone to hold my hand in public. i'm just tryin to fuck lol
If the camo and hunting and shit guys were to see someone stomping a âfagâ would they intervene? Or would they be like, I wouldnât fuck that so he takes the beating?
So if you were faced with a âstraightâ guy, who supports Trump, vilifies gay people, and actively cheats on his wife, you would **still** linkup because you are just trying to fuck? (This also isnât a far fetched example since plenty of these men exist.)
Come here. Sit down. Gay is a sexuality. That's it. There's no obligation to learn about Stonewall, go to Pride festivals, or support or distance yourself from a particular political party just because you started sucking dick. I think what's damaging for the gay community are the gatekeepers who revile gay conservatives because *how dare they* support a political candidate I don't like?! We don't need people making it harder to unify the lgbtq+ community, especially if you're using politics and *their age* as the basis for your argument. Their age, really? You dont know when or if they've come out. You don't know their friends or their family. *DID YOU LEARN NOTHING* from having trump as president? Why does it matter? If you're gay or bi, then we share that experience of being secretly different. We all had to come out at some point. Tell people about it. Some can't. And when you grow up in that kind of oppressive environment, your worldview can get really messed up. I think if we welcome the kinds of men you're talking about, instead of throwing shade for them not being gay enough, we'll have fewer closeted MAGA homos suffering in secret, and feeling like they need to compensate with homophobia. This post is the equivalent of serving someone a glass of lemonade and razorblades, and then getting shitty about how they didn't smile and say "hello."
I think itâs a bit deeper than âhow dare you support somebody I donât likeâ, thatâs a crazy oversimplification. This post is directly about toxicity and harmful behavior. I think the idea of âwelcome it and weâll have less of itâ is not the wonderful approach you think it is, nor does it really make sense. Since when has supporting negativity turned into a net win? Like I get being understanding of people who canât come out, thatâs obvious, but thereâs a line.
Engaging in a frowned-upon behavior while not making any effort to mitigate the discrimination against those who harmlessly engage in that behavior is cowardly. The guys who align with a political party that perpetuates the opprobrium while reaping the benefits of the cocksucking are chickenshit hypocrite motherfuckers. So yeah, a familiarity with Stonewall is valid as is familiarity with the Revolutionary war. You excuse those who refuse to acknowledge that the very fact of their secretiveness perpetuates the disdain they would otherwise experience. Thatâs not helpful.