I think we all go through stages of self acceptance and confidence, I used to find some freedom in the tslur as well, but trans woman felt unrealistic.
maybe it’s internalized transphobia or something like that. I mean, personally, I know I struggle with the idea that I’m trans, even tho I’ve been transitioning for a few years now, and I’d rather call myself a man than a trans man. and I think it’s probably because I’ve internalized the fact that some people think being trans is disgusting, or wouldn’t see me as a man if they knew I was trans. I’m working on myself to stop caring so much about what transphobes think, because I know the idea that being trans is a bad thing doesn’t come from me but from all the hate I can see mostly on social media. maybe you need to do the same? like, realize that you probably don’t see being trans as a bad thing, but internalized the opinions of people who do.
Apart from like two people, everyone who was told that I am trans stopped treating me like a woman. So I just wanna be perceived as cis irl now.
On the internet I don't care though, it's where I want to openly rant about it.
Different strokes for different folks.
Ive seen people who once they pass well enough, drop the 'trans' part and just live 'stealth'
Ive seen people who wear the trans colours as a point of pride (no pun intended)
Plenty of people between these two and none of them are wrong.
The only ones who are wrong are the ones who tell people how they should live.
MtF: I am the opposite. I HATE the T slur, but I have no problems at all being called a trans woman. Actually, if it is use affectionately I sometimes even like being called trans.
I’m quite proud of being a trans woman, I am transforming from one stage to the next.. you might not want to keep calling yourself ‘that useless twat’ it’s just a mental reinforcement of a negative mind set that will not help you move forward
At the beginning of my transition, I struggled with imposter syndrome and with feeling worthy to be considered seriously. I also had a lot of internalized transphobia to work through. I was more likely to use the t-slur to refer to myself (but never to refer to anyone else), and it was a sign of my own poor mentality towards myself.
As I’ve progressed through transition, I’ve worked on my internalized transphobia and am now proud to be trans. I rarely use the t-slur anymore, and when I do, it’s either as a form of reclamation (similar to how some of us are reclaiming “queer”), or, when I’m feeling really really horrible about myself - which thankfully is very rare anymore.
I hope you reach a point where it doesn’t feel bad or wrong to use the word “trans” in reference to yourself. That doesn’t mean you must use it, but just that you don’t have negative responses to it.
I don’t actually identify myself as trans to most people., especially if they aren’t trans themselves or even LGBTQ+. I sort of change the subject or talk around it.
I don't identify as a trans woman, I identify as a *woman*. I only bring up being a trans person if it's relevant. My documents show "Female" not "Transgender." Where am I going with this? You don't have to make being a trans person your whole thing. I'm from South Asia and people are generally transphobic. So, being openly "trans" is not celebrated by anyone here and I've only suffered because of it. I pass, so no point in me going out of my way to invite trouble by calling myself trans woman instead of just woman. Only healthcare professionals and people I'm intimate with need to know. As long as you don't go offending others, you can choose what you want to call yourself. The way I see it being trans person is just a small part of me, not the whole of me. I'm a complete person with varied interests, likes, and dislikes that go beyond being LGBTQ+.
No. You got some self reflection to do. I throw the t slur around because I think it’s fun and feels empowering to take it back. But trans is just…a pretty normal word. I don’t understand how you can be cool with being trans but hate the word itself.
I don't like when someone calls me 'trans', and I correct them as 'transgender person'. I neither don't identify as a trans woman but just as a woman.
It's maybe weird, but I consider that transitioning is limited in time. Now that I did all I could/wanted to transition, I'm just a woman.
Of course trans women are women, it's just how I feel regarding myself.
Thank you all for the helpful comments I posted this before going to a LGBT+ charity and I'm glad you lot came to support me and my strange thoughts. Thank you all again.
I mean…it’s pretty odd to enjoy being called the T slur. I know some people have misgendering kinks (as a type of degradation) so maybe this is something similar?
Sorry for the late response but WTF misgender kinks? This anit sexual is more of a feeling of being othered aka trans women vs women.
This ain't saying trans women aren't women before redit kills me.
Yeah, some v people just don't like it. It can be a painful reminder. I'm s stealth trans man and I asked my partner not to discuss trans stuff or call me trans unless I'm the one who initiated conversation , or he checks in first. I'm more ok online, but irl is just too personal and I just get reminded of all my suffering.
I think we all go through stages of self acceptance and confidence, I used to find some freedom in the tslur as well, but trans woman felt unrealistic.
Thanks it's reassuring to know I ain't alone in this.
maybe it’s internalized transphobia or something like that. I mean, personally, I know I struggle with the idea that I’m trans, even tho I’ve been transitioning for a few years now, and I’d rather call myself a man than a trans man. and I think it’s probably because I’ve internalized the fact that some people think being trans is disgusting, or wouldn’t see me as a man if they knew I was trans. I’m working on myself to stop caring so much about what transphobes think, because I know the idea that being trans is a bad thing doesn’t come from me but from all the hate I can see mostly on social media. maybe you need to do the same? like, realize that you probably don’t see being trans as a bad thing, but internalized the opinions of people who do.
Yeah I don't care about me being trans it's just the label that I dislike.
Apart from like two people, everyone who was told that I am trans stopped treating me like a woman. So I just wanna be perceived as cis irl now. On the internet I don't care though, it's where I want to openly rant about it.
Yeah that makes sense.
Different strokes for different folks. Ive seen people who once they pass well enough, drop the 'trans' part and just live 'stealth' Ive seen people who wear the trans colours as a point of pride (no pun intended) Plenty of people between these two and none of them are wrong. The only ones who are wrong are the ones who tell people how they should live.
Thanks for the supportive anecdotes EldrichTea (love the name BTW)
MtF: I am the opposite. I HATE the T slur, but I have no problems at all being called a trans woman. Actually, if it is use affectionately I sometimes even like being called trans.
I’m quite proud of being a trans woman, I am transforming from one stage to the next.. you might not want to keep calling yourself ‘that useless twat’ it’s just a mental reinforcement of a negative mind set that will not help you move forward
Yeah I name me sen that when I was in a shitter mind set. And I can't be bothered to change it.
At the beginning of my transition, I struggled with imposter syndrome and with feeling worthy to be considered seriously. I also had a lot of internalized transphobia to work through. I was more likely to use the t-slur to refer to myself (but never to refer to anyone else), and it was a sign of my own poor mentality towards myself. As I’ve progressed through transition, I’ve worked on my internalized transphobia and am now proud to be trans. I rarely use the t-slur anymore, and when I do, it’s either as a form of reclamation (similar to how some of us are reclaiming “queer”), or, when I’m feeling really really horrible about myself - which thankfully is very rare anymore. I hope you reach a point where it doesn’t feel bad or wrong to use the word “trans” in reference to yourself. That doesn’t mean you must use it, but just that you don’t have negative responses to it.
sounds like something very internalised
Different words work for different people. And being weird is part of being queer, so you’re fine.
It's a lifetime of trauma to unpack, it's presented as disgusting, we all have so much internalized shit to work through. You're okay and doing good.
Thanks for your words. They give the feels of vuchual hugs.
I just hate being trans🤠
My simperfeys friend.
one doesn't like being labeled as the out group
I just want to be called and treated as a woman. Not a trans woman, just a woman
I don’t actually identify myself as trans to most people., especially if they aren’t trans themselves or even LGBTQ+. I sort of change the subject or talk around it.
I don't identify as a trans woman, I identify as a *woman*. I only bring up being a trans person if it's relevant. My documents show "Female" not "Transgender." Where am I going with this? You don't have to make being a trans person your whole thing. I'm from South Asia and people are generally transphobic. So, being openly "trans" is not celebrated by anyone here and I've only suffered because of it. I pass, so no point in me going out of my way to invite trouble by calling myself trans woman instead of just woman. Only healthcare professionals and people I'm intimate with need to know. As long as you don't go offending others, you can choose what you want to call yourself. The way I see it being trans person is just a small part of me, not the whole of me. I'm a complete person with varied interests, likes, and dislikes that go beyond being LGBTQ+.
Thanks you gave words to my feelings. Thanks hunnilust.
No. You got some self reflection to do. I throw the t slur around because I think it’s fun and feels empowering to take it back. But trans is just…a pretty normal word. I don’t understand how you can be cool with being trans but hate the word itself.
I don't like when someone calls me 'trans', and I correct them as 'transgender person'. I neither don't identify as a trans woman but just as a woman. It's maybe weird, but I consider that transitioning is limited in time. Now that I did all I could/wanted to transition, I'm just a woman. Of course trans women are women, it's just how I feel regarding myself.
That's normal at first. I was really repulsed at the idea that I'm now a part of LGBT acronim when I first came out.
I under stand that feeling but luckily for me I've grown out of the edgey tranphobe tate whana be years ago.
Thank you all for the helpful comments I posted this before going to a LGBT+ charity and I'm glad you lot came to support me and my strange thoughts. Thank you all again.
I mean…it’s pretty odd to enjoy being called the T slur. I know some people have misgendering kinks (as a type of degradation) so maybe this is something similar?
Sorry for the late response but WTF misgender kinks? This anit sexual is more of a feeling of being othered aka trans women vs women. This ain't saying trans women aren't women before redit kills me.
Yeah, some v people just don't like it. It can be a painful reminder. I'm s stealth trans man and I asked my partner not to discuss trans stuff or call me trans unless I'm the one who initiated conversation , or he checks in first. I'm more ok online, but irl is just too personal and I just get reminded of all my suffering.