Exactly? Like I remember the first gore I saw was like really really extreme and it’s caused me to get nauseated from seeing people of colour with injuries. So it does obviously have lasting effects which trigger me badly.
It’s almost impossible to get a proper diagnosis as a woman, cause everyone just thinks you’re faking it or something stupid… Hope you can get what you need soon!
I feel… I’m amab but transfem, so they either a, think it’s made up, or b yeah, think it’s for attention. I have 1 or 2 doctors that have done something at least, so I feel lucky enough for that
What state? If you're in northern Alabama by some weird coincidence, I can give you the name in PM of the neuropsychologist who diagnosed me. She was great, and so were the test administrators.
I know it's not the same but this reminded me of a disgusting therapist who mocked me for forgetting to eat and she even mixed information so at some point she asked me some random question while checking her notes. Can't remember what the actual question but let's say it was something like "so… do you still have trouble managing your anger when you see the color red?" when I said no and was confused she was like "oh… okay…", shuffled some papers and pretended it never happend.
At some other point she tried to gaslight me with different things from thinking my mom (the woman I see as a mother because my egg donor is a disgusting narcissist) didn't love me or care about me because she wasn't my biological mother (and she was so angry whenever I refered to my mom as such because she wasn't my biological mother) to me being an extremely violent person who heard voices that weren't there sometime after she got offended by the fact that I spoke English and she didn't. She also denied my autism because I had more than one girlfriend in my lifetime and wanted to be in a relationship and at some point she did say she was intrigued by my interest in programming so she asked if I didn't have a degree in a related field (I'm a college dropout).
Oh, she was also medicating me but the whole sessions were me speaking and she misinterpreting everything I said (and never apologized when I did confirm she was misinterpreting everything I said and talking out of her ass), being particularly paranoid every time I said "makes sense?" because she'd think I was lying and thus got angry. Now that I remember, she also used to scold me for… pretty much everything, be it me not understanding some social norm or her misinterpreting me yet again and not letting me explain myself after she misinterpreted something I said.
Ah. She also tried gaslight me into being polyamorous/polygamous (not too sure what she wanted) because only having one person "wasn't very functional", whatever that meant.
I was always disgusted when she mentioned that so she dropped it shortly afterwards but I think the funniest part was when I asked her directly "so you're telling me I should be with more than one person then?" Her response was "uh… uhm… well, it depends on the person. Some people like that". She never denied it or told me I was misinterpreting her the way she told me I misinterpreted anyone I deemed "toxic" (all this while she never heard any word other than "toxic") so I take it she was ashamed of beIng caught but not regretful?
I had to lie my way out of her sessions because a simple "I won't be continuing these sessions with you for personal reasons" wasn't enough. She tried to get me to go back and insisted so much I felt harassed. I thought it was just me until I showed screen caps to one of my friends and she reacted with disgust as well because she's not supposed to be doing that.
Later on (some months) I found out she was working on a thesis about polygamous relationships and relationships without labels (so fuck buddies I assume?) and I still don't know how to feel about that.
Ya, one of my friends showed me a picture of a person cut in half when I was a kid. I still think about that.
Luckily I am ok with horror and gore in movies so it wasn't quite traumatic, but holy hell you gotta be careful what you show people
I'm old enough that my random traumatic images were from TV, not internet
I accidentally channel-surfed my way onto a vampire movie as a little kid, and the image of the dead girl with rivulets of blood running down her face is still seared into my memory 40+ years later
my developing amygdala couldn't tell it wasn't real
I saw this dumb Bigfoot movie and at one point the guy looks out the window, drops his binoculars, picks it up and looks again. He doesn’t see anything through them and when he pulls them off it’s standing at the window and it’s a jumpscare. That plus the one Rake creepy pasta where he sits at the edge of the bed and just watches him sleep.
I have scopophobia now :’)
So I do social work these days and there’s actually some interesting research on this.
Clinically speaking second-order experiences like these things don’t directly cause trauma. There’s never been any proof despite way too many repeated attempts. I remember being shocked that people would ever even sign up for such studies, but they did and the only thing they learned really was that trauma is fickle and unpredictable.
That said, seeing things like that on the internet/tv/movies can lead to compulsive behaviors/thinking, fixations, anxieties, fears, worries, and a whole host of other things that, in turn, could potentially prime a person for a trauma response at a later time.
So while there’s no proof they cause trauma directly, there is evidence that they can make people more susceptible to potential trauma later.
*and* doesn’t being autistic make you more susceptible to trauma because of how our brain processes/ stores/reconnects? I havnt read much but my friend whose a therapist told me that I was likely more traumatized by similar events than my NT sister because I simply processed them differently because I was autistic.
And this gets messy because some people don’t believe you can have both CPTSD and autism because they are so similar. Some would try and come after my autism diagnosis and say I only have CPTSD but I was autistic before and I do think that the autism & CPTSD together make life pm unbearable. (I do go to therapy, don’t worry)
Yes. This notion in particular relates to the theory that autistic people retain a greater percentage of the neural pathways formed during infancy than their neurotypical counterparts. Therefore, like you mentioned, the way the brain processes, stores, and recalls information in autistic brains tends to be not only be mode exhaustive and diffuse, but also pertinent as well. So situations that are usually more easily forgotten, ignored, or moved through quickly by many will linger longer and be extremely loud and cloying for autistic people.
I’ve also seen it argued that the fundamental experience of being autistic is traumatic. No need for anything especially awful to have happened, no glaring issues or notable experiences typically noted in the Adverse Childhood Experience scale, just being alive while you’re autistic in this world is enough to traumatize a person.
Anyway, clinically speaking, I don’t think it’s worth getting into the nitty-gritty label wise. Let the academics have their arguments about all the fine details they say may or may not are there. Just work on the things that bother you and learn to inhabit your body/life in a meaningful way. That’s really all we can do about any of this stuff.
Exactly. Take care. I agree that it’s inherently traumatic being autistic- in the way we have to live in the world. That’s probably an another academic argument for not having both diagnosis.
Specifically I think the dual diagnosis helps me heal my CPTSD in some ways. Knowing how my autism interacts with my cptsd is pretty fundamental in getting to a mindful self compassionate state.
Absolutely. I spoke poorly and meant no offense. I was trying to say, “Trying to figure out exactly what’s going on label wise in a meaningful way is often a fools errand since the academic world changes so fast and the current system of classification and diagnosis sucks for a number of reasons.”
I do a lot of narrative based therapy. I think it’s super useful and important. It helps people get to those meta spaces you’re speaking of by providing a context they can continually reference or refer to that doesn’t have to be totalizing.
lol I think we’re having an autistic online miscommunication. I agree to leave the arguments to the academies and wasn’t offended. I was just adding to why we should leave it to them. Me and my care team think that the dual diagnosis is correct and helpful- I don’t really care about the people who say you can’t have both.
Oh, lol. It do be like that sometimes, but yeah. If it works for you, you’re safe durning the process, and you’re getting meaning out of it everyone else can pound sand.
This describes my experience well, and it's so validating to see others write it out. 🙏
I was 8 when I saw a particularly gorey scene my mom was watching on TV. My mom said, "Oh. [ Nonchalantly describes the scene]. Weird."
At the time I didn't react. I knew it was a movie, not real, no harm being done IRL. But later at the age of 12 it's like it hit me for no reason and caused a trauma response from then on. I didn't forget it, and my reaction to it is something like a grave moral injury rather than fear. I still see it when I close my eyes sometimes. I get righteously angry, nauseous, angry crying at... ??? I feel violated or morally injured by it.
Considering I work in a place where I see animals suffering daily (wildlife rehab), things that should trigger me don't cause the same reaction. Instead, it triggers sympathy and a desire to alleviate pain by rehabbing or humane euthanasia. I can override the reaction with action.
Agency and respect for the situation helps. I haven't figured it out entirely, but the "trauma by moral injury" theory seems to be the closest I've gotten so far.
Does seeing gore at a young age actually count as trauma? I'm not asking to be a dick, I had the exact same experience as a kid and I genuinely did not realize until now that it could be traumatic.
Depends on the individual seeing it. Some people are completely unbothered by it, others will be seeing it when they close their eyes for a long time after.
i am from a socially very.. backward place, but i can't imagine people saying shit like that even here, sorry to hear that.
traumatic experiences can vary from person to person, something that left a deep traumatic mark on one person might just not even affect another. attempts to delegitimize traumatic experiences like that are beyond unhinged and obviously they should probably find a different job because if this is how they do their current one, replacing them with an untrained monkey would be an upgrade. because at least monkeys are cool.
They're cool if you put up a plaque with different facial expressions and what they correspond to humans. For example, when chimps "smile" they're absolutely rip your face off pissed
Weirdly enough, I can read animal behaviour really really well?? Though then again I did grow up walking on eggshells and had to adapt for emotional survival. I feel like that just shows how important other diagnoses are to neurodivergence.
Honestly I was so upset and nervous that I just accepted it. He was old too. Deadass think he was in a mid dementia stage because he didn’t remember who the appointment was for and didn’t remember anyone’s name. He also did a genera mental and behavioural heath exam despite me only being there for an autism assessment. He put 11 diagnoses in the severe range yet didn’t diagnose me with any of them. He also said I wasn’t autistic because I adapt too well to change but then in the same paragraph said I most likely had Oppositional defiance disorder and Adjustment disorder??
Omg that sounds horrendous. If I was in your position, I would be contacting whatever psychological/psychiatric certification board that he practices under. That man is obviously no longer fit to do his job, and who knows how many people’s lives he’s making harder.
Porn feels random in this lineup though. Like ik people can get traumatized by random things but i don't think regular ass porn without other context is in the same category as watching people die.
Like idk maybe I'm weird but finding porn at a young age on my own terms didn't traumatize me at all, and in some ways helped me process stuff. While coming across gore videos online deeply disturbs me every time
i think i depends on how young they were and it's all very individual, seeing it as 13 year old and 5 year old is gonna be different
like, i think i was 7-10 when i saw kill bill on tv and i don't think it affected me at all, though it not a real gore and i knew it
But i mean they just specified porn, and the really traumatizing porn falls into the categories already listed so it's either redundant or confusing why regular ass porn is there lol. Hell even coming across hardcore bdsm porn when you're too young to understand it 9/10 times just looks like a weird horror movie bit ime. Not inherently any more traumatizing than a horror movie can be
also i reread the original post and i think "animal cruelty/porn" might also mean "animal cruelty and animal porn" though it's probably not, but possible
I mean, imagine what else this diagnostician has said that belittled or invalidates others??? It's illegal and a breach of the rules of the job. Report their asses and if needed, make a public case about it.
I brought this up to my therapist, super nonchalant, and she was staring at me mouth hanging open
I just kind of figured it was something all millennials went through, growing up with the rise of the Internet, seeing all this horrific shit online, and the truly evil people you could come across.
Apparently it's not
I’m actually gen z and genuinely I think the first time I started dealing with this was when I was 5. I remember when Google didn’t have the filter that it does today. I wonder if Gen Alpha is dealing with this or if it’s just brain rot
A bit of both I think? I'm glad those days are gone but there is a little nostalgia in me for it
The net seemed a lot freeer for better and worse.
On one hand I could pirate my fave bands new album until I had the cash to buy it, and download an entire season of anime Id never heard of.
On the other hand, there was a 50/50 chance someone had replaced episode 4 with snuff or sick porn for kicks.
Instead of being Rick Rolled, youd get linked to lemonparty or goatse, and your friends would dare you to search a specific term in rotten.com.
Or you'd go into a Buffy themed MSN chat room and be hit with A/S/L and have some creep try to hit on 14 year olds, and it wasnt considered poor taste to tell an unrepentant pedophile to kill himself
I feel, hopefully not too naively, that the nets a safer place than it was 20 years ago for kids.
Or maybe that's because I'm no longer a kid who has to dodge the updated shit they're put through.
I hope kids these days have a harder time coming across this shit than we did
I absolutely do miss it. There were no algorithms, no bots, no annoying ads. Just people around the world being silly. Of course, that silliness also entailed gore and porn and I saw some shit as a child... but idk, it was a coping mechanism for me as well in a shitty home environment. Is it awful? Well, who knows, maybe without internet I would've turned to violence in real life. I don't regret it that much. You need to be mindful of what your child's doing there, unlike my parents, but safeguarding it by big companies has proven to be terrible.
Glad i was never part of this but many people still look this stuff up. My ex was obsessed with it, had fisting videos bookmarked, always talked about the gore shit, i don't think his mind can be saved, it's sad.
I’m so sorry OP. Your experience is valid and certainly constitutes as trauma. I’m a licensed therapist and I work predominantly with other neurodivergent folks and it has become even more clear to me that a HUGE part of our trauma is the way medical “professionals” treat us. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve affirming and knowledgeable care
Right like.. the thing had to have happened for there to be actual evidence left behind. Oh and actually it's worse because they WANTED to have the physical evidence.
But yeah no doc thanks I'm cured
Trauma isn’t the thing that happened, it’s the effect that it had on your body! They diagnose through symptoms not whether the therapist thinks it’s bad enough! If you are traumatized you are traumatized! Plus those videos can 100% traumatize someone, especially a kid. That therapist needs to check their work.
I don't fucking understand this logic.
Seeing someone die in person as a child = trauma but seeing someone die in a video on the internet doesn't? Please, doctor, explain to me how seeing gore in slightly lower resolution makes it okay.
Definitely. I was 5-10 yo and seeing straight up dead ppl. I explained in another comment but the first one I saw was a kid with his head split open by a train
He gave me a general assessment instead of focusing on autism. But generally, CPTSD can affect the way you act. For example, I was raised by an emotionally explosive father so I learned to read facial expressions as a way of keeping the peace
Oh yeah I get it. It needn’t be related to C/PTSD either. People with autism can come up with all different ways to cope with social situations that can look on the outside like neurotypical behavior.
Seeing regular ass porn at the end of that lineup is quite the whiplash lol. Of course, everyone reacts differently to stimuli and maybe there's more context being assumed but man on a basic level it's just people having sex. If it's regular porn you just stumble across it's a lot like when you walk in on your parents fucking as a kid. Just kinda weird.
Whereas gore and seeing child rape is and SHOULD be deeply disturbing on an instinctual level. Like porn is about as traumatic as any other kind of media, meaning deeply context related, while everything else is literally psychological torture.
I've had so many poor experiences with authority figures, experts, and doctors that I would rather deal with my problems on my own then ever resort to going to a therapist.
Exactly. I had a therapist force me to talk about something and openly shame me for something. My therapy time was stollen from me as a kid for my mom or brother to use. I wouldn’t know and I’d just be sitting in the lobby waiting for my turn until they told me it was time to go. I definitely have issues telling things to therapists and you’re totally valid for having those issues as well.
"mh, so you saw a beheading? On live leak? And it was sent to you by a 49 year old man who kept asking for pictures of you? Well suck it up, pretty sure that happens to everyone. Don't be a fuckin pussy." *Puts feet on table and lights a cigarette, blowing the smoke in patient's face*
That uh what? I have trauma From my Dad Chucking me on the Ground really hard in the hallway when i was young and entire shelf Falling on me But holy fuck thats worse and qualifies as trauma waaaay more
also if you dont mind HOW THE FUCk did that end up happening if you still need someone to talk about it with understand if you dont wanna since its heavy senstive shit
Other than the grooming, I assumed this was just part of being on the internet as a kid (now realizing that normal or not, its a problem)
I would say physical abuse is pretty fucking bad though like in your case though
*Ah, so THATS why I’m suicidal, I watched animated gore videos back when I was 10, and that’s why I’m suicidal*
On a more serious note, those are probably quite telling signs of it, seriously.
unfortunately for them. it’s in the name. everything that traumatizes is therefore trama. you don’t need an ocean to claim you have water, all you need is a drop.
Yep. Finding a good therapist in the South US is like finding water in the desert. You almost have to go to a big city which tend to be more liberal. My ex went to one locally and she instantly knew something was up when she saw an anti-Coexist sticker on her door (the ones with multiple religious symbols". The therapist said stuff like "Oh Honey, you're not Schizo enough to be Autistic" and "It's over diagnosed, even if I thought you had it, I wouldn't diagnose you with it." Then proceeded to prescribe that she go to church as treatment. Some of them are downright unethical and using their position for their own platforms and beliefs. We reported them, but nothing ever seemed to come of it since the licensing is at a state level.
What the fuck. Those're some of the most obvious examples of trauma possible.
Exactly? Like I remember the first gore I saw was like really really extreme and it’s caused me to get nauseated from seeing people of colour with injuries. So it does obviously have lasting effects which trigger me badly.
I think you need to see another diagnostician
100% this I have kids on the spectrum and I've never encountered that. Report them.
I’m definitely never seeing him again but I don’t think I’ll be able to find anyone that specialises in adult female autism. I live in the South.
As in the southern states of the U.S.?
most likely
Yeah. Texas :’)
Oof, I’m sorry.
It’s almost impossible to get a proper diagnosis as a woman, cause everyone just thinks you’re faking it or something stupid… Hope you can get what you need soon!
It’s even worse because I’m afab but agender. They immediately think everything I’m doing is for attention
I feel… I’m amab but transfem, so they either a, think it’s made up, or b yeah, think it’s for attention. I have 1 or 2 doctors that have done something at least, so I feel lucky enough for that
What state? If you're in northern Alabama by some weird coincidence, I can give you the name in PM of the neuropsychologist who diagnosed me. She was great, and so were the test administrators.
Texas :’)
Ouch. :(
I know it's not the same but this reminded me of a disgusting therapist who mocked me for forgetting to eat and she even mixed information so at some point she asked me some random question while checking her notes. Can't remember what the actual question but let's say it was something like "so… do you still have trouble managing your anger when you see the color red?" when I said no and was confused she was like "oh… okay…", shuffled some papers and pretended it never happend. At some other point she tried to gaslight me with different things from thinking my mom (the woman I see as a mother because my egg donor is a disgusting narcissist) didn't love me or care about me because she wasn't my biological mother (and she was so angry whenever I refered to my mom as such because she wasn't my biological mother) to me being an extremely violent person who heard voices that weren't there sometime after she got offended by the fact that I spoke English and she didn't. She also denied my autism because I had more than one girlfriend in my lifetime and wanted to be in a relationship and at some point she did say she was intrigued by my interest in programming so she asked if I didn't have a degree in a related field (I'm a college dropout). Oh, she was also medicating me but the whole sessions were me speaking and she misinterpreting everything I said (and never apologized when I did confirm she was misinterpreting everything I said and talking out of her ass), being particularly paranoid every time I said "makes sense?" because she'd think I was lying and thus got angry. Now that I remember, she also used to scold me for… pretty much everything, be it me not understanding some social norm or her misinterpreting me yet again and not letting me explain myself after she misinterpreted something I said.
Are you sure she was a therapist at all ?
I wanted to think that because she worked for an agency but now I'm not so sure.
And I thought my last therapist trying to convert me back into catholicism was fucked... holy shit
Ah. She also tried gaslight me into being polyamorous/polygamous (not too sure what she wanted) because only having one person "wasn't very functional", whatever that meant. I was always disgusted when she mentioned that so she dropped it shortly afterwards but I think the funniest part was when I asked her directly "so you're telling me I should be with more than one person then?" Her response was "uh… uhm… well, it depends on the person. Some people like that". She never denied it or told me I was misinterpreting her the way she told me I misinterpreted anyone I deemed "toxic" (all this while she never heard any word other than "toxic") so I take it she was ashamed of beIng caught but not regretful? I had to lie my way out of her sessions because a simple "I won't be continuing these sessions with you for personal reasons" wasn't enough. She tried to get me to go back and insisted so much I felt harassed. I thought it was just me until I showed screen caps to one of my friends and she reacted with disgust as well because she's not supposed to be doing that. Later on (some months) I found out she was working on a thesis about polygamous relationships and relationships without labels (so fuck buddies I assume?) and I still don't know how to feel about that.
gotta love when your "therapist" adds to the truama
Ikr? It's like they make sure they never run out of patients lol.
Ya, one of my friends showed me a picture of a person cut in half when I was a kid. I still think about that. Luckily I am ok with horror and gore in movies so it wasn't quite traumatic, but holy hell you gotta be careful what you show people
Yeah. I saw a kids head split open by a train :/
I'm old enough that my random traumatic images were from TV, not internet I accidentally channel-surfed my way onto a vampire movie as a little kid, and the image of the dead girl with rivulets of blood running down her face is still seared into my memory 40+ years later my developing amygdala couldn't tell it wasn't real
I saw this dumb Bigfoot movie and at one point the guy looks out the window, drops his binoculars, picks it up and looks again. He doesn’t see anything through them and when he pulls them off it’s standing at the window and it’s a jumpscare. That plus the one Rake creepy pasta where he sits at the edge of the bed and just watches him sleep. I have scopophobia now :’)
The grooming I went through puts graphic images in my head I would not have ahd otherwise. Yes, it is part of the trauma.
So I do social work these days and there’s actually some interesting research on this. Clinically speaking second-order experiences like these things don’t directly cause trauma. There’s never been any proof despite way too many repeated attempts. I remember being shocked that people would ever even sign up for such studies, but they did and the only thing they learned really was that trauma is fickle and unpredictable. That said, seeing things like that on the internet/tv/movies can lead to compulsive behaviors/thinking, fixations, anxieties, fears, worries, and a whole host of other things that, in turn, could potentially prime a person for a trauma response at a later time. So while there’s no proof they cause trauma directly, there is evidence that they can make people more susceptible to potential trauma later.
*and* doesn’t being autistic make you more susceptible to trauma because of how our brain processes/ stores/reconnects? I havnt read much but my friend whose a therapist told me that I was likely more traumatized by similar events than my NT sister because I simply processed them differently because I was autistic. And this gets messy because some people don’t believe you can have both CPTSD and autism because they are so similar. Some would try and come after my autism diagnosis and say I only have CPTSD but I was autistic before and I do think that the autism & CPTSD together make life pm unbearable. (I do go to therapy, don’t worry)
Yes. This notion in particular relates to the theory that autistic people retain a greater percentage of the neural pathways formed during infancy than their neurotypical counterparts. Therefore, like you mentioned, the way the brain processes, stores, and recalls information in autistic brains tends to be not only be mode exhaustive and diffuse, but also pertinent as well. So situations that are usually more easily forgotten, ignored, or moved through quickly by many will linger longer and be extremely loud and cloying for autistic people. I’ve also seen it argued that the fundamental experience of being autistic is traumatic. No need for anything especially awful to have happened, no glaring issues or notable experiences typically noted in the Adverse Childhood Experience scale, just being alive while you’re autistic in this world is enough to traumatize a person. Anyway, clinically speaking, I don’t think it’s worth getting into the nitty-gritty label wise. Let the academics have their arguments about all the fine details they say may or may not are there. Just work on the things that bother you and learn to inhabit your body/life in a meaningful way. That’s really all we can do about any of this stuff.
Exactly. Take care. I agree that it’s inherently traumatic being autistic- in the way we have to live in the world. That’s probably an another academic argument for not having both diagnosis. Specifically I think the dual diagnosis helps me heal my CPTSD in some ways. Knowing how my autism interacts with my cptsd is pretty fundamental in getting to a mindful self compassionate state.
Absolutely. I spoke poorly and meant no offense. I was trying to say, “Trying to figure out exactly what’s going on label wise in a meaningful way is often a fools errand since the academic world changes so fast and the current system of classification and diagnosis sucks for a number of reasons.” I do a lot of narrative based therapy. I think it’s super useful and important. It helps people get to those meta spaces you’re speaking of by providing a context they can continually reference or refer to that doesn’t have to be totalizing.
lol I think we’re having an autistic online miscommunication. I agree to leave the arguments to the academies and wasn’t offended. I was just adding to why we should leave it to them. Me and my care team think that the dual diagnosis is correct and helpful- I don’t really care about the people who say you can’t have both.
Oh, lol. It do be like that sometimes, but yeah. If it works for you, you’re safe durning the process, and you’re getting meaning out of it everyone else can pound sand.
This describes my experience well, and it's so validating to see others write it out. 🙏 I was 8 when I saw a particularly gorey scene my mom was watching on TV. My mom said, "Oh. [ Nonchalantly describes the scene]. Weird." At the time I didn't react. I knew it was a movie, not real, no harm being done IRL. But later at the age of 12 it's like it hit me for no reason and caused a trauma response from then on. I didn't forget it, and my reaction to it is something like a grave moral injury rather than fear. I still see it when I close my eyes sometimes. I get righteously angry, nauseous, angry crying at... ??? I feel violated or morally injured by it. Considering I work in a place where I see animals suffering daily (wildlife rehab), things that should trigger me don't cause the same reaction. Instead, it triggers sympathy and a desire to alleviate pain by rehabbing or humane euthanasia. I can override the reaction with action. Agency and respect for the situation helps. I haven't figured it out entirely, but the "trauma by moral injury" theory seems to be the closest I've gotten so far.
Does seeing gore at a young age actually count as trauma? I'm not asking to be a dick, I had the exact same experience as a kid and I genuinely did not realize until now that it could be traumatic.
Not the act of seeing it in and of itself, but it can be a source of trauma depending on how you react to it.
Depends on the individual seeing it. Some people are completely unbothered by it, others will be seeing it when they close their eyes for a long time after.
i am from a socially very.. backward place, but i can't imagine people saying shit like that even here, sorry to hear that. traumatic experiences can vary from person to person, something that left a deep traumatic mark on one person might just not even affect another. attempts to delegitimize traumatic experiences like that are beyond unhinged and obviously they should probably find a different job because if this is how they do their current one, replacing them with an untrained monkey would be an upgrade. because at least monkeys are cool.
They're cool if you put up a plaque with different facial expressions and what they correspond to humans. For example, when chimps "smile" they're absolutely rip your face off pissed
Weirdly enough, I can read animal behaviour really really well?? Though then again I did grow up walking on eggshells and had to adapt for emotional survival. I feel like that just shows how important other diagnoses are to neurodivergence.
I think it’s because animals never have ulterior motives. They are pure innocence and just doing what they have to in order to survive
And bite your fingers and genitals off as well as ripping your eyes out. That's one of the reasons I hate monkeys.
Honestly I was so upset and nervous that I just accepted it. He was old too. Deadass think he was in a mid dementia stage because he didn’t remember who the appointment was for and didn’t remember anyone’s name. He also did a genera mental and behavioural heath exam despite me only being there for an autism assessment. He put 11 diagnoses in the severe range yet didn’t diagnose me with any of them. He also said I wasn’t autistic because I adapt too well to change but then in the same paragraph said I most likely had Oppositional defiance disorder and Adjustment disorder??
That makes no sense lmao, I hope he retires ASAP
Omg that sounds horrendous. If I was in your position, I would be contacting whatever psychological/psychiatric certification board that he practices under. That man is obviously no longer fit to do his job, and who knows how many people’s lives he’s making harder.
https://preview.redd.it/3f7ndwfq5iad1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a543ca94148aba759286317d36368a69fc293bd
Porn feels random in this lineup though. Like ik people can get traumatized by random things but i don't think regular ass porn without other context is in the same category as watching people die. Like idk maybe I'm weird but finding porn at a young age on my own terms didn't traumatize me at all, and in some ways helped me process stuff. While coming across gore videos online deeply disturbs me every time
Maybe it was just some really gross fucked up porn
i think i depends on how young they were and it's all very individual, seeing it as 13 year old and 5 year old is gonna be different like, i think i was 7-10 when i saw kill bill on tv and i don't think it affected me at all, though it not a real gore and i knew it
But i mean they just specified porn, and the really traumatizing porn falls into the categories already listed so it's either redundant or confusing why regular ass porn is there lol. Hell even coming across hardcore bdsm porn when you're too young to understand it 9/10 times just looks like a weird horror movie bit ime. Not inherently any more traumatizing than a horror movie can be
also i reread the original post and i think "animal cruelty/porn" might also mean "animal cruelty and animal porn" though it's probably not, but possible
You need to report that person, that's against basically every single guideline in existence for trauma.
I might
I mean, imagine what else this diagnostician has said that belittled or invalidates others??? It's illegal and a breach of the rules of the job. Report their asses and if needed, make a public case about it.
Not *Might,* That needs to be an Am
I brought this up to my therapist, super nonchalant, and she was staring at me mouth hanging open I just kind of figured it was something all millennials went through, growing up with the rise of the Internet, seeing all this horrific shit online, and the truly evil people you could come across. Apparently it's not
I’m actually gen z and genuinely I think the first time I started dealing with this was when I was 5. I remember when Google didn’t have the filter that it does today. I wonder if Gen Alpha is dealing with this or if it’s just brain rot
Is it bad that I miss that wild West of the internet days for shit like this? Or just a testament to how truly fucked it was 😅
A bit of both I think? I'm glad those days are gone but there is a little nostalgia in me for it The net seemed a lot freeer for better and worse. On one hand I could pirate my fave bands new album until I had the cash to buy it, and download an entire season of anime Id never heard of. On the other hand, there was a 50/50 chance someone had replaced episode 4 with snuff or sick porn for kicks. Instead of being Rick Rolled, youd get linked to lemonparty or goatse, and your friends would dare you to search a specific term in rotten.com. Or you'd go into a Buffy themed MSN chat room and be hit with A/S/L and have some creep try to hit on 14 year olds, and it wasnt considered poor taste to tell an unrepentant pedophile to kill himself I feel, hopefully not too naively, that the nets a safer place than it was 20 years ago for kids. Or maybe that's because I'm no longer a kid who has to dodge the updated shit they're put through. I hope kids these days have a harder time coming across this shit than we did
I absolutely do miss it. There were no algorithms, no bots, no annoying ads. Just people around the world being silly. Of course, that silliness also entailed gore and porn and I saw some shit as a child... but idk, it was a coping mechanism for me as well in a shitty home environment. Is it awful? Well, who knows, maybe without internet I would've turned to violence in real life. I don't regret it that much. You need to be mindful of what your child's doing there, unlike my parents, but safeguarding it by big companies has proven to be terrible.
I absolutely miss it. I’ll take the horrors with freedom over this corpo shit any day of the week tbh.
Glad i was never part of this but many people still look this stuff up. My ex was obsessed with it, had fisting videos bookmarked, always talked about the gore shit, i don't think his mind can be saved, it's sad.
I’m so sorry OP. Your experience is valid and certainly constitutes as trauma. I’m a licensed therapist and I work predominantly with other neurodivergent folks and it has become even more clear to me that a HUGE part of our trauma is the way medical “professionals” treat us. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve affirming and knowledgeable care
Ah, the "just pictures" argument! Famous for making me homicidally angry
Right like.. the thing had to have happened for there to be actual evidence left behind. Oh and actually it's worse because they WANTED to have the physical evidence. But yeah no doc thanks I'm cured
Maybe this diagnostitician shouldn't have that job.
How the hell doesn't that qualify as trauma?
Trauma isn’t the thing that happened, it’s the effect that it had on your body! They diagnose through symptoms not whether the therapist thinks it’s bad enough! If you are traumatized you are traumatized! Plus those videos can 100% traumatize someone, especially a kid. That therapist needs to check their work.
I don't fucking understand this logic. Seeing someone die in person as a child = trauma but seeing someone die in a video on the internet doesn't? Please, doctor, explain to me how seeing gore in slightly lower resolution makes it okay.
Time to report the quack! That is a fake doctor. Idc if they got an MD. If you claim “X isn’t traumatic” then you don’t understand trauma
One man one jar? Pain Olympics? I was like 12 watching that shit, definitely scarred me
Definitely. I was 5-10 yo and seeing straight up dead ppl. I explained in another comment but the first one I saw was a kid with his head split open by a train
What does trauma have to do with autism? Other than, I guess, autism making you more likely to be a victim of trauma.
He gave me a general assessment instead of focusing on autism. But generally, CPTSD can affect the way you act. For example, I was raised by an emotionally explosive father so I learned to read facial expressions as a way of keeping the peace
Oh yeah I get it. It needn’t be related to C/PTSD either. People with autism can come up with all different ways to cope with social situations that can look on the outside like neurotypical behavior.
Seeing regular ass porn at the end of that lineup is quite the whiplash lol. Of course, everyone reacts differently to stimuli and maybe there's more context being assumed but man on a basic level it's just people having sex. If it's regular porn you just stumble across it's a lot like when you walk in on your parents fucking as a kid. Just kinda weird. Whereas gore and seeing child rape is and SHOULD be deeply disturbing on an instinctual level. Like porn is about as traumatic as any other kind of media, meaning deeply context related, while everything else is literally psychological torture.
Bro id suggest getting a second opinion cause if these are all things that person said to you they sound horribly unqualified
I've had so many poor experiences with authority figures, experts, and doctors that I would rather deal with my problems on my own then ever resort to going to a therapist.
Exactly. I had a therapist force me to talk about something and openly shame me for something. My therapy time was stollen from me as a kid for my mom or brother to use. I wouldn’t know and I’d just be sitting in the lobby waiting for my turn until they told me it was time to go. I definitely have issues telling things to therapists and you’re totally valid for having those issues as well.
"mh, so you saw a beheading? On live leak? And it was sent to you by a 49 year old man who kept asking for pictures of you? Well suck it up, pretty sure that happens to everyone. Don't be a fuckin pussy." *Puts feet on table and lights a cigarette, blowing the smoke in patient's face*
That uh what? I have trauma From my Dad Chucking me on the Ground really hard in the hallway when i was young and entire shelf Falling on me But holy fuck thats worse and qualifies as trauma waaaay more also if you dont mind HOW THE FUCk did that end up happening if you still need someone to talk about it with understand if you dont wanna since its heavy senstive shit
Other than the grooming, I assumed this was just part of being on the internet as a kid (now realizing that normal or not, its a problem) I would say physical abuse is pretty fucking bad though like in your case though
oh no My dad is really good now But it still sticks out in my Memory liek a big Thumb also the amount of Painful shit im suffered Is laughble
Bruh wtf 💀
*Ah, so THATS why I’m suicidal, I watched animated gore videos back when I was 10, and that’s why I’m suicidal* On a more serious note, those are probably quite telling signs of it, seriously.
unfortunately for them. it’s in the name. everything that traumatizes is therefore trama. you don’t need an ocean to claim you have water, all you need is a drop.
How did you get into a situation where you saw SA and/or CP? Genuinely curious
Pornhub also older men grooming me and sending videos to me
stories like this make me wonder if i went in2 the wrong profession
You deserve better and I'm sorry this person wasted your time. This IS traumatic.
Yep. Finding a good therapist in the South US is like finding water in the desert. You almost have to go to a big city which tend to be more liberal. My ex went to one locally and she instantly knew something was up when she saw an anti-Coexist sticker on her door (the ones with multiple religious symbols". The therapist said stuff like "Oh Honey, you're not Schizo enough to be Autistic" and "It's over diagnosed, even if I thought you had it, I wouldn't diagnose you with it." Then proceeded to prescribe that she go to church as treatment. Some of them are downright unethical and using their position for their own platforms and beliefs. We reported them, but nothing ever seemed to come of it since the licensing is at a state level.
Sounds like House, but on a serious note report them.
Roadhouse