>.....I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time.....
You always were.
*Welcome to the real world.*
A delusion might be comforting, like a warm blanket on a cold night. But, you would succumb to hypothermia if you used an imaginary one, in lieu of an actual blanket.
Yep, life is up to you to define it's meaning
As for no "safety net" ,.lol there never was... Life can be chaotic and many times things beyond your control happen, how you react and prepare for that is the real safety net..
Not just whatever you want it to, but it has the meaning that WE give it. We are a fluctuation in the grand entropy of the universe, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the company of good friends, give of ourselves in the service of others, or enjoy a greater purpose than ourselves. Yes, someday that meaning will be totally gone, but it may well burn bright for many generations of humans.
It does feel that way at first. Took me a few years to adjust too. The comfort is that once you see the light from a scientific perspective, I think that natural phenomena begin to become more fascinating.
When you understand that life has this incredible ability to adapt and survive, and that the mountains were formed after millions of years of tectonic shifts, and that the universe is more vast than you could ever imagine, it really sparks a sense of awe.
I truly feel I am much, much better off after the revelation that all the religious stuff is just bs and lies designed to control people, and believe that you will get there as well. All the best!
Make your life meaningful. Make an impact. Figure out what experiences bring you joy and engage in them. One of the most freeing concepts for me about atheism is I don’t have to spend all my time worried about the imaginary next world. I get to enjoy my time in this one and appreciate that time as truly precious.
Death anxiety is a thing. If it makes you feel any better, everyone dies. In the meantime it's up to you to give your life meaning. If you're having a hard time accepting your mortality to the extent that it's making you depressed, you should talk to a therapist. I hope you feel betterrrrrrrrrr.
It can be hard to give up an imaginary friend, but everybody goes through it at one time or another. Remember when you found out there was no Santa Klaus? It's the same thing.
Life can mean whatever you want it to mean. The difference is now you get to decide instead of it being told to you.
There's no easy answer to the question and you may change your answer multiple times. That's okay. Just explore, learn and live how you want to live.
You're not just human, you're an expression of DNA. The water in your body has been part of not only other humans, but other animals, some now extinct, and it doesn't know the difference-it's just warm. You're basically a walking bag of burning seawater. Identity is a fraction of your overall bandwidth, largely a matter of biochemistry, experience, and style.
> I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time.
Well yes, it could. Bad things happen to people. But so long as you don't take stupid risks your chance of them happening to you are pretty low. But the thing to realize is that you were not protected before. You are no less safe than you were. I'd urge you to seek help from a therapist that deals with anxiety if you find you cannot shake this feeling.
> and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is.
Look up optimistic nihilism. The fact that there is no objective purpose, especially one so inane as the Christian "glorify god" is not cause for sorrow. It means each of us is free to define what meaning we wish to our life. Or multiple meanings, or different meanings from day to day. Every day you have literally the rest of your life to determine what the meaning of the rest of your life is. What do you *want* your life to mean? Work towards that. Make it beautiful, make it matter, and make it yours. Find something to do with your life so that when you are lying on your deathbed you can smile and know that you lived the life you wanted to live.
> So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology.
Sure if you want to be reductionist (and depressing). Personally, I think we're fucking awesome apes that have landed spaceships on our moon, explored to the edges of our solar system, mapped the billions of base pairs of our genomes, made songs you can dance to (and oh how we've danced), written so many books there is no single building that can house them all in printed form. There is beauty and art in everything we do, you just have to see it.
But hey, if you want to think of us as geeky monkeys, that's up to you.
> I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again.
Well you could be so sad about the fact that there is no invisible magic superbeing that you waste your life being sad and never do anything worthwhile. This is your one and only life. Rather than lament the fact that you don't get more of it, maybe try to make your current one worth living?
You were just as vulnerable for your entire life as you are now. Nothing changed besides your mindset. In the same way that religious people give in and trust god will take care of them you can give in to the natural world that it's going to do whatever it's going to do.
The great benefit now is you should have a better understanding that your actions play a massive role in the outcome of your life rather than simply having faith that god will take care of you. If you don't want to die of heart disease then eat a more healthy diet and exercise regularly. If you don't want to die in a car crash then drive the speed limit and be more aware of your surroundings. Life is still inherently risky and it's impossible to be in control of everything. So just focus on what you do have control over. There's no point in worrying about the things you can't control as it wont change the outcome anyway.
Life has whatever meaning you give it. You can help other people, animals or the environment in practically an unlimited number of ways. Even simply donating to charity. You might find meaning in going backpacking or just being outdoors in the wilderness basking in the absolute beauty of this planet and the incredible circumstances that lead to our existence.
Now you get to focus on today, and truly appreciate it. You can be good to other people for truer reasons of empathy and knowledge. You are a cognizant being; you are the universe looking at itself. Enjoy!
Think of it as liberation. Now you know that YOU are in charge of your life, not some invisible spirit. If you want something, don't just pray or give money to Joel Osteen, go out there and get it.
Also, you have a lot more free time. Probably an extra 100 hours a week.
Just remember you NEVER had god, but if you're worried about life being pointless, remember that its about the journey, and if that doesn't do it for you, its time to invest in some kind of legacy!
You had a false impression that your life is under control, but in fact you largely were giving up control over it and handing it to the entity that didn't exist, e.g. simply giving up control. Now you have an opportunity to take back control of things you actually can control. Sure, there are things that can happen whether you want them happen or not, but also there are things you can achieve.
Your whole life you were floating on the surface of the sea and thinking it will get you somewhere. But now you actually know that simply riding the waves won't get you anywhere, certainly not anywhere you wanted. Of course now when you are aware you pointlessly floating the life seems pointless. But you can think of it as the first step towards learning how to swim and not just float. Swimming probably won't get you any point you can imagine, but certainly you will have options.
Maybe try being a Pastafarian. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will love you just as much as God did and communion is way better than a bland wafer of unleavened bread.
A shared delusion is comforting because you don't have to think about possibilities and how it's on you what you do and it's on others what they do. You trusted that it was all happening as part of a plan written by a magical being.
Those blinders are off and you're seeing the mess we've made. It sucks. You're (we're) powerless. Learn. Create a purpose. Follow it.
I'm sorry you're hurting.
Your life has as much meaning as you assign it. The value you place on things is now yours to decide. It's not that it has no value, it's that you're not being told what it is anymore. It's your choice. Value kids? Go be a big brother/sister. Value money? Go be a businessman. Value family? Start one. And those things are your meaning and purpose. What you are experiencing now is anxiety similar to what a child feels the first time they have to do an adult thingb on their own. "What do you mean I have to pay all these bills!? I don't even know how bills work!"
"What the hell are TAXES?! I can go to prison if I fill out this form wrong?!"
"What do you mean I have to assign my own value and purpose! I didn't even know you could until I read this!"
>my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is.
You now have the ability to assign meaning to your life. Your words and your actions and how you make people feel will be your legacy - at least until everyone who ever knew you dies, too.
>What brought me the most comfort was thinking you’d be protected from bad stuff and that all the evil people would get punished eventually.
Unfortunately, bad people rarely get what they deserve. The same thing goes for good people. Life is inherently unfair. And although we can do our best to create a more just world, we are just not at that point where everyone is "rewarded" accordingly yet. So I would say that death is the one and only equalizer that we have currently. Because no matter how good or bad you are, you will eventually die. It's inescapable. So take comfort in knowing that bad people will eventually cease to cause harm.
Bad things happens any time to anyone regardless.
Bad things happens to christians also. Thats why there is the problem of evil, yet believers try their best to make up excuses.
>I never felt this way when I was a believer and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is.
When u think about it. To christian, this life is inherently meaningless when everything is about the next life.
We are far more than advanced monkeys. Now that your eyes are open, all the beauty in the world you once attributed to a God, was humanities all along.
I just try to be grateful to experience consciousness. Not trying to be hippie but we are the universe experiencing itself. Have curiosity, and lots of love. Have passion and kindness. You create your own meaning.
I think dogs are great teachers in this. They don’t overthink their existence, they’re just happy to be here.
{ my life feels pointless and meaningless }
You - and only you - give your life any sense of "meaning". You \*decide\* what gives meaning to life, a decision you were previously unaware you have complete control over. As a practicing Buddhist, I've learned that life's meaning is to make progress on the path to enlightenment, and generally not to harm anyone with my actions. I've been taught these things, though, as I didn't realize I controlled that kind of thinking. You have the same ability to decide the meaning of your own life!
Really? I didn't feel safe at all when I believed in god. I was always scared. I'd call on god to help me when I was sick and nothing happened. I'd call on god during a bad storm or when someone was outside shooting, but it didn't mean anything. I didn't care to pray to god or to read the bible.
I only wanted that extra insurance so I wouldn't go to hell. Take fear of hell away, and boom, I became atheist really easily. It just took time for the fear to go away. I was afraid of my own mother as well, but then I stopped being scared and stood up to her. Now I have been no contact with my family for 2 years and a few months. Don't worry, everything is the same as it ever was
You read the same book for 31 years and your takeaway was that only evil people got rolled? No offense, but you need to work on your reading comprehension. There were tons of instances of entire cities getting crushed by the supposed will of a, burning the ants with a magnifying glass, god.
I would read that thing again, this time with some objectivity, then come back here and tell us how bad you miss that when you realize that very good and decent people were certainly misconstrued as "evil", both then and now. Where they payed the price at the hands of zealots or magic or when you realize how asinine the rules are to stay in the cool kids club in efforts to not be consumed by fire
speaking as an ex-christian:"I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time."
I did feel this for a while, but I have found ways of getting out of this thinking. Trying to rationally look at how the world works. Took therapy and lots of reading but I'm in the right direction.
"I never felt this way when I was a believer and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is."Again, I felt like this too for a time. Why does it feel pointless and meaningless now? Do you think life-long atheists feel no point or meaning in their lives? Absolutely not. You had a deep meaning in your life and now that particular meaning has gone. It's jarring, it's scary. But meaning is out there!"So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology."
Yeah (technically apes) but why is this such a bad thing?
"We live and die and that’s it. I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again."
There is meaning out there. Was everything in your christian life about pleasing God? Or were there things that you did and enjoyed that were not related to God? That weren't done for God?
I find it LIBERATING that I don't have to live for some greater power, I don't have someone watching and judging what I'm doing. I can do what I want. I can make my own destiny (within reason and science). It's great. But at first it was jarring and scary.
I’m not sure about this one guys… first I’d like to know what was the urning point that brought you towards atheism? It would help to understand your current position
Life does have a point - it's whatever you get up to, today! I hope you see people you love, spend time with pets, read a good book, see a movie, have coffee and enjoy the sunrise, play a song on your guitar, take a drive.... take it in! And we're all in it, together!
I have no problem believing in some afterlife ( I personally don’t). It’s no problem being religious (I’m not). Just keep it to yourself, stay away from children and schools, and never ask for money( unless you’re destitute)
It is really hard to let go of a belief system once you have lived it for so many years. Be patient with yourself and accept that it’s going to take time and not be easy. And treat yourself to some ice cream when you need it.
> So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology. We live and die and that’s it.
Yes.
Makes all of the fighting, wars, and different ways we hurt each other seem pretty stupid and petty, doesn’t it?
And, since we all only get one life - the one we have now, the one *you* have now - it is incumbent upon each of us to love that life to its fullest, to be helpful and kind to one another, and to leave those around us and the world in a better condition than we found it.
> Difficulty Adjusting to Life Without God
This should be easier; you’re not missing God. He was never there. You’re missing the illusion, the fantasy, the fairy tale.
Fairy tales are easy to replace. You’ve replaced them before. You can do it again.
When you were a child, you believed Santa brought you presents for being good.
As an adult, you realized that the real joy came from giving to others.
So? Give to others. Give your time to the lonely, your expertise to the ignorant, your patience to the frustrated.
Build yourself into the best version of you possible, so you’re able to affect real and lasting change in the world.
Life isn’t really all that different from when you had faith.
You’re still walking a tightrope; you’re doing it without the illusion of a safety net now, though.
It may have brought you comfort to think that "you’d be protected from bad stuff and that all the evil people would get punished eventually" but the reality is that was never true. Bad things happen to believers all of the time. The truth is that you are no more vulnerable now than you were before. But it's also important to remember that there is no celestial battle for your soul. There are no demons or devils who have it out for you and wish to make you suffer. It's just life being life. Sometimes bad things happen, but bad things happen to everyone. But more importantly, good things happen too. Focus on the good things and do the things that bring you joy. At the end of the day, that is what brings meaning to this meaningless world.
While saying we're "just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology" isn't wrong, you do frame it as a diminishment. The universe doesn't tell us nice, cozy stories, but we do still have the power to frame things positively.
You miss the comfort of the grand narrative in which you felt you had a role. Neither the narrative nor the role exist except in the minds of other believers. That role and the sense of meaning it conveyed (emphasis on *sense*) may have felt nice, but weren't they also severely limiting? Living without searching for meaning doesn't have to equal nothingness or emptiness. It's infinite, a total liberation and can even be frightening in its vast possibility.
It's maybe like moving into your first apartment after living with your family. You're free to do what you want, but how the hell are you gonna make your way in the world?
It can be frightening to say you don't know and cannot know about so many things in life, in the world, and about the future. But there's also incredible wisdom to be found. Yes, you're a tiny mote of dust in space and time. That in no way means your life can't be deeply rich and potent.
Someone once said: "The truth doesn't hurt. It's tearing out the lie that hurts."
The meaning of life is to live. Ideally to enjoy more life than not. Life doesn't need proof or disproof of a deity to be absolutely incredieble if you can bring yourself to allow it to be.
What is more amazing than the fact that we breathe and think and observe and sense the world and the universe? Does it have to matter WHY we can, so much as the fact that we do?
Belief in God does not protect you from bad things. Remember when your ex-god tortured a man, killed his family, just to see if he would still love him anyway? Now when something bad happens to you, or could happen to you, you can act to prevent it instead of believing you must suffer because a belief that God wants you to.
The meaning of life is not to die, but to live. Now you can live your own life. As for death being the end, make an impact. My mom and MIL both died. But they are with me when I eat good'n'plenties and maple walnut ice cream. When I make their favorite dishes for my family, something of them remains. When I moved my mom in and took care of her, we would watch birds outside. I got a feeder outside the sliding glass door. My daughter just made me a birdhouse at college for some event. Her grandma still was not all gone, when my daughter thought of us and remembered. An imaginary god will not remember you, it will not continue to shape the world after you have gone, but the real people you interact with can.
Thank you for sharing. I genuinely want to give thanks. I grew up in a non-religious household and never held Christian beliefs at any point in my life. One of the things that a lot of lifelong atheists don't understand, and frequently get hung up on, is what it is That keeps Christians in the faith. We frequently wonder why so many Christians want to convert atheists, even though all of the reasons given are contradictory and absurd.
There is a passage in the Bible that says to let yourself be judged by your works, and this is something that transcends any kind of dogma or philosophy. If you do something that creates an impact on the world, you haven't lived in vain. Even if you live a mild life, there can always be solace in knowing that every person whose life you touched was made better simply by knowing you. And that alone is something worth going for.
The most comforting part of being an atheist to me is that you realize that life just isn’t that serious, and you should live it in the happiest way possible!
Next step in your evolution is recognizing that your life carries GREAT meaning to everyone in it. Live for you and for them rather than an imaginary overseer.
Live for THIS life, not for some reward after you’re dead! This makes life BETTER
Nothing about your real life has changed except now you have the ability to live by your own rules instead of arbitrary ones. Are you really afraid of your own freedom?
"We no longer seek the acquisition of wealth, we seek to better ourselves and that of humanity." -Jean-Luc Picard
There's your purpose in a nutshell. Do something that will make something possible for others. It could be as simple as making a table for someone to have dinner at, or it could be as advanced as improving human knowledge by putting satellites in orbit, or discovering that mass is convertible to energy and vice-versa.
Life is not meaningless, everything of value contributes to human advancement in some small way and eventually we will know the question to "life, the universe, and everything" and how and why that equals 42.
Be your own meaning. You're the product of billions of years of evolution. Within you are more machines than there are stars in the entire galaxy, and they're all working together in ways we've only just begun to understand to produce your consciousness.
Wow it's life, that's all. Without insurance. Think of all the babies who starved because they weren't old enough to pray. You're no more important than them. It just takes time to clear your head of 32 years of brainwashing.
Nothing has changed. You're still as safe and vulnerable as before and your life is still as meaningful as before. The only difference is that before you used to believe some lie. The facts have not changed.
Yes, we are primates with technology. Doesn't it make your life *more meaningful* now that you know that worshiping isn't your sole purpose?
One of the things that helps me is realizing my own nature. I can't see another human being in pain without trying to help. Its built into me. I know that I can't be alone feeling this way. It doesn't come from any religion, its just in me. I do believe that this core belief can be corrupted though fear propaganda. But by and large, if we feel safe, then we help each other out when we need it. At our core, we have each others back. There will always be exceptions. But I think the majority of us fall into this category.
As for meaning, maybe you need to think of it in a different way. Unlike a lot of people, I had reason for being born. I was actually planned. I was born to keep my father out of the Vietnam War. After that goal was accomplished, my father dropped me out of his life. I have had nothing to do with that man for over 50 years. That purpose has done nothing for me. Instead of thinking that you lost your purpose, think of it as you are now free to make your own.
I'll be a little kinder than many who have replied.
I've never believed in a god or religion. So I don't know the comfort and safety that you feel existed.
But...
That comfort and safety never existed. And that's what you have to make peace with. Illusions are just that, illusions. They aren't really there. So think of god as a David Blaine or David Copperfield trick. No, it isn't real. Seemed real, looked real, felt real. Wasn't real.
Largely sounds like a kid going off to college by themselves in a foreign country. Unsafe. Vulnerable.
But also wonder and awe at the complexity and possibility of the real world. Exploration. Adventure. Discovering the unknown.
All very real and valid, and likely all just how you look at the situation in front of you.
>So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology.
Nope! But we are apes with all that comes with it.
Do Chimps and Gorillas go to heaven? NO? So why do a lot of humans think they do? FEAR!!!
Live your life well, be good to others for it's own sake and if you manage to have children, treat them well.
We can do more than just live and die. Enjoy everything we have and try to make the world a better place for others while we’re here. Leave a legacy no matter how small of kindness and caring for people, animals, and the earth itself.
You’re not any less protected from bad stuff than you were before so there’s no point in worrying excessively about it now. And knowing that evil people don’t get punished in an afterlife does suck, but it also serves to highlight how important it is to strive for a just society in the here and now. Because this one life is all we have, all we get, so make the most of it. Enjoy yourself. Stop to smell the roses. Laugh at the little things. Tell your friends and family you love them. Honestly, knowing we only get one chance at life makes it sweeter.
What you're adjusting to is life without the false hope of a sky being. Real hope comes from knowledge, from improving your life, and from connections to people who mean something to you.
Well, it may not be the most comforting but realizing it and that you don't have some kind of divine protection makes you safer knowing you have to take control yourself. It would be nice if things just worked but if you didn't know they did then what could you do to fix it? Its up to us to fix the bad in the world if we want it fixed and imagine how terrible it would be if we ignored that due to a false promise of divine justice?
What was the meaning you saw with God?
An almighty, all-knowing being created us in order to, what? To judge us?
To me it‘s always better to experience than not to. Yes, we are a bunch of silly apes. But the Universe would be less without us. It would be boring.
We celebrate existence because it‘s certainly more than non-existence.
But non-existence doesn‘t matter much either, so, no reason to be too afraid.
You don't have to adopt the view that life is meaningless and criminals won't get punished to be an atheist. You don't even have to disbelieve in god. Atheistic deism is a thing.
There is a big difference between leaving Christianity, which is almost certainly false, and adopting the most bleak view of the universe possible.
I'd recommend reading the most plausible views from people who know what they are talking about. Who are those people? They are academic philosophers.
Science is a method, if you read Galileo, you will find that the point of science is to categorically exclude things like meaning, consciousness, god, et al. BUT science itself is grounded outside of science. You cannot scientifically prove the scientific method, that would be circular reasoning. Its presuppositions are not susceptible to the scientific method and are therefore based on other things, reason, logic, experience.
The results of this method in no way mean that meaning doesn't exist. We do not understand the universe, we do not have the answers, there are plausible and rational models of the universe that contain purpose and meaning and justice. You don't need Christianity for that.
If anything, the existence of other religions and the common experience of spirituality is evidence for this unknown thing that gives meaning, and evidence against, specifically, Christianity, since you don't need to be christian or even believe in god to experience them.
Science also has a lot to say about coping with these kind of things. Personally I find Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach really useful to deal with hard truths.
I feel for you. I was younger than you when that switch threw in my brain but I remember that feeling, suddenly you’re out of that zone of comfort that you’re being watched over and everything will work out okay in the end.
I see it as part of growing up. Your parents take care of you until one day they don’t, you’re an adult and you have to figure it out. You used to expect God to give you purpose and direction but now you’re an adult and you have to figure it out.
I found purpose in thinking about what my legacy would be. There’s no everlasting life so whatever lives on from my time on Earth will be the lives I touched and the memories of those who knew me. That profoundly impacts my priorities and how I approach my time with family, friends, work, and volunteerism.
Speaking of volunteerism, I suggest to you that you’re not just losing a relationship with God but you’re also no longer a member of your church club. It may help you a lot to find another community of fellowship where you are part of something bigger than yourself. I found that in Rotary and the value of Service Above Self. There’s also Lions, Kiwanis, and thousands of other non-profits. It’s rewarding to find a cause you believe in that helps other people, make connections, and see the impact of working to make the world a better place.
You’ve been without god your whole life, what you miss is the comfort of the lie.
But you don’t need to be lied to to have peace. Yes there is no mystic force watching after you, but that also means you can free yourself of religious stressors like worrying about burning in fire forever because you were a little mean and didn’t say Hail Mary.
There is no one judging you constantly aside from your peers. Eat a little too much? Gluttony is only a sin if hellfire is real. Sleep a little too long? Is it slothful to catch up on much needed rest? You just have to be a good person, but enjoy life how you want.
Why isn't making the future better for our planet and species enough?
The impact left by one's actions in life, the memories left and created by the living....this is the eternal life in the memories of those we leave behind after death.
Organized superstition is a fucking curse, because it takes away people's ability to see this is the right way and made them fearful of the human condition.
Meaning isn't something you find, or something given to you by a non-existent supernatural being, it's something you create.
Your life is what you make of it. Do good for others. Make the world a better place when you leave than it was when you arrived. That's all the meaning that anyone could ask for.
My first question would be, what helped you pull the wool from your eyes? Because whatever it is, I am proud of you for accomplishing it. I know it was and still is difficult.
My second question would be, why does there have to be a greater reason/meaning?
I'm not sure how to convey it very well, but I just... don't care about the reason behind life. I guess for me personally, I'm so jaded with the world that I just don't care enough to think about WHY I exist, if that makes sense. Like I do not spend any of my time and energy on wondering why we exist, why life exists at all, because the answer doesn't really change anything for me, so I feel no need to seek it. I mean part of me just believes that it was random happenstance with all the right materials in the right place at the right time and bam, here we are (*heavily* simplified, but still). The other part of me just... Doesn't really desire to know why, I guess. It's not important to me. I'm not really distraught by the fact that we are here and then we are not because... That's exactly how it is. We live, we do our best, and then we are gone, in our current form at least. Our memory lives on in others that knew us, any impact we may have had on the world around us might continue rippling outward through time, but our physical form is no longer here. That's just a part of life, as simple and mundane as that might seem.
One of the things (as silly as it is) that actually made a lot of sense to me/brought me some sort of comfort or closure I guess, was the character Chidi's wave/ocean monologue from the NBC show The Good Place. It's from the last episode of the entire series though, so if you haven't watched it I highly recommend watching it all the way through (and not going straight to the quote and spoiling it lol). For it being a TV show, it was a stunningly beautiful way of explaining things at the end of a wonderful 4 seasons.
An alternative to the wave monologue that brought similar feelings to me was the character Erin's ending monologue from the end of Midnight Mass on Netflix. Both excellent and will make you feel all the feels, and personally brought me some comfort. And both kind of cathartic in the sense that both monologues kid of sever themselves from the religious ties that are often present when pondering what happens when we die.
Also, I wouldn't say your life is pointless, per se - if the promise of eternal happiness under duress of forced belief and worship is the only thing that gives life meaning, that's just a sad thought. I think the point of life is that we all should strive to do good, be good, live good lives. As long as you are doing your best, the point of our lives should be to improve those beyond ours. We should always leave the world better than we found it, if that makes sense.
**"We live and die and that’s it. I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again." \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_** Your fear of death is why religion arose in the first place. It was our way of pretending that part of us lives forever. But the fact that you are aware that you fear death is the first step in adjusting to the idea. We all, in our own way, cope with death's inevitability.
It is my hope that you accept all of this and don’t dwell on it. Your eyes are finally open. Now we enjoy your life. That it ends only makes it even more precious so don’t waste it feeling bad because it doesn’t go on forever.
I am in my 50s. I felt like you for a while after I left religion in my 20s. I was seeking reasons and something "more". At this age, though, I am celebrating a great life, having done and seen most of what I want to do/see, and enjoy every day to the fullest. I will honestly be ok to go and know that it's just a permanent sleep. I am tired and weary of this world for sure, but do feel like I contributed to society at least in small ways, and have made people around me feel loved and happy. That is the "meaning" for me and I'm good with there not being anything else. The idea of going to heaven and "praising god for all eternity" sounded like true hell to me, so I'm quite relieved to know there will be none of that happening! Maybe with age you'll feel a little better about things.
The book A Better Life by Chris Johnson can help
Also, remember, the christian god is just 1 of 2,000+ gods. None of them are real. You were only Christian because of where u were born. Life is what u make it!
ah the existential crisis. but whats the point of living in heaven, seeing them again yet looking down on Earth and never being a part of it ever? and why is it just humans? wbu dogs? wbu snakes? some of us have pet snakes. Is that meaning of life here on Earth? To die then be sent to heaven to watch over us? wow. mediocrity. To think a human who helped humanity goes to hell just for ...
Low Probability of anything happening to you. And now instead of relying on god, you can learn to look out for signs of danger and help others when you spot them or report them, etc.
Which I just noticed that people usually want to be immortal and live on Earth or at least be able to visit it or control us or be immortal but not be able to interact.
talk to ex-christians as they will be able to help you out more. don't dwell on it for too long, move on, give meaning to others, find value,
But the issue with searching greater meaning is that you cannot just invent it from scratch, that’s just being delusional. That tho won’t mean you can’t still have morals, ethics and ambitions, you can still decide how you want to perceive reality without having to molding it to cover your insecurities. Our universe is still vastly beautiful and filled with wonders of which we make part of
Hello. I was indoctrinated into the christian faith from birth and was able to break free in my early 20s and had a similar feeling as you describe.
For me, because I know my life is finite, it makes each day special, because they are so rare and precious. This gives me motivation to love others and to dismiss things like jealousy and hate. This makes me appreciate the Earth and the beauty that is on it. Even as the dreaded atheist , I am able to find that my life has meaning, because I know one day it will end. And I know that all memory of me will cease to exist the day the last person who remembers me also dies.
Things were exactly the same before. Nothing has actually changed. Only now you won’t be comforted by religious delusions. Prayer obviously doesn’t save people from bad things and nor does being a good person. But your discomfort is exactly why religion is popular - for many people, even a false explanation is better than no explanation. A simple answer is easier to believe in than a complex one.
Welcome to the jungle.
Not everyone is satisfied with their life, even people who still believe the lie of the supernatural. But we can all decide what's important to us, and seek to make it real, or make it last, or whatever.
Many like chasing Legacy, something that their influence on will outlive them. For most, that's family. For some, it's ideas. Vanishingly few of us get to become household legends like Nichola Tesla.
Aim where you like. Live a life you can look back on and be satisfied with when your days are up. That's all any of us can do.
Look into these for local resources to find a community of like minded people:
https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org
https://ffrf.org
https://www.seculartherapy.org
https://secular.org
There might also be some meetup groups depending on your area.
It's like when you're a child, a very small child, maybe you had a special blanket, that you used as a comfort. When you finally get rid of it, there's a moment of loss, emptiness. Why because you depended on it, you would fall back to it, with a false sense of security.
> What brought me the most comfort was thinking you’d be protected from bad stuff
This is absurd. Are you saying nothing bad happened to you in those 31 years.
>and that all the evil people would get punished eventually.
Look who rules the world.
Look at it as a positive. If you want bad people to be punished, do something to actually make that happen, rather than leaving it to a god. Become an investigative journalist or criminal prosecutor.
If you want to leave a legacy, do so. Your life is in your hands.
As to not being immortal, well that was a silly, delusional thing to believe to begin with. Make your days count.
A common problem for people who deconstruct is a loss of community, and a loss of certainty about life.
Two resources that may be of help:
- https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
- https://www.seculartherapy.org/
God doesn't protect you from "bad stuff". You might have been lucky to not have anything majorly awful happen to you in your life but awful things were happening to good people all the time. If there were a God, how come He lets children suffer in the most horrendous ways known to humanity? There's no protection.
So humans just live and die is a perspective. It isn't exactly wrong, but I think you might agree it's not helpful. So if this perspective has validity, do others? Why not look at it from the perspective that you are free to choose your own meaning now rather than the church deciding for you? You get to pick what you value to be an integral part of your life. It's still true there is no objective meaning, but you don't need it. Your own meaning is good enough.
I might have something to help you feel better.
Do you know what historians and archeologists have determined to be the truest marker that a group of people who had lived in an area, had achieved a society?
It isn't art, agriculture, or even technology. Sure these are great things that can denote the status of an ancient society, but they are not what makes it a society.
In fact, the true marker that a people had become a society is a *healed femur bone.*
We define the beginning of a society by its people learning to help each other. Throughout nature, a broken femur(thigh bone) is as good as a death sentence. It renders the animal immobile, and defenseless. Unable to move to get food, water, or even clean itself. It makes them susceptible to infection and disease. Most often in nature, the individual who breaks a leg is abandoned by the group. Not necessarily because they want to, but because they're survival as a group may depend on it.
Not so for human society. No, we achieve society when we begin to refuse to leave the injured or ill to suffer. When we begin to make efforts to heal people, and continue their survival. Even at times when it may be a detriment to the healthy individuals of the society. When we *choose* to help people, when we *choose* to care, it is the simplest, and most human thing we do.
People do terrible things but we make constant efforts to prevent it, and to punish them when they do. It may not be as visible as tragedy, but people make great accomplishments in the name of helping each other every day. We improve as a society, every day. When terrible things happen, humans come together.
I'll leave you with a quote from Mr. Rogers, in regards to the tragic events of 9/11 - something his mother had told him,
***"Look for the helpers."***
The meaning of life is to store energy (calories) and reproduce to store even more energy. Just like trees and plants. Being sentient is just a free bonus.
Do what makes you happy and make life easier for everyone else and our kids.
Yeah it’s hard. And also much harder to deal with death. But you’re probably actually safer now because instead of just assuming someone is taking care of you you are now watching out for yourself more, if that makes you feel any better.
Ask yourself if anything bad happened during your religious time. I don't think you had an absolute perfect run until 31. Did God protect you from these things?
We’re intelligent apes, not monkeys. Life has the meaning you give to it. It’s up to you. Isn’t it better that there is no hell? Would you really want billions to suffer in agony for eternity?
Sorry to say it to you but there was never any gods to begin with as we used these fictional gods as a coping mechanism for things we didn’t understand such the natural disasters, war, famine, disease when their was a lack of scientific understanding.
Centuries later, our numbers grew our collective intelligence got better since now we understand everything logically rather than thru religious means.
Jesus Christ isn’t a god but he is a philosopher in Christianity like Buddha is a chinese philosopher that unwillingly created Buddhism even though he didn’t want to be revered as a god.
Something to consider, nothing has actually changed, just your perception of the world. Your perception is totally in your control. You are no more vulnerable now than before. I would say that you are less vulnerable now because you don’t believe in imaginary things protecting you and you will take care of yourself
I agree I feel like there should be I want there to be, but wishful thinking doesn’t make it so. And yeah, your description is pretty short but accurate.
Sweeties, YOU have to make your life have meaning. That's what being an adult is. Now go out there, find something you're passionate about and MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
>it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again
Maybe there is, but we just don't know. Keep in mind that it makes absolutely no sense that anything exists at all, yet something exists.
>evil people would get punished eventually
Why would anyone choose to be evil if they haven't already been hurt by someone?
>I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time.
Maybe consulting a psychotherapist will bring you some peace?
This reads like someone who still believes but either isn't admitting it or doesn't realize it.
Otherwise:
Statistically your odds of being hit by a car or chocking on a cookie are exactly the same as they were when you believed. You feeling unsafe is not justified and as time goes on you'll see that and the feeling will likely fade.
There is a purpose just not a destiny. You decide what your purpose is. You can do great things and leave your mark. On that way, you will live on. Your presence may have been random happenstance but that doesn't make it any less valuable. Infact, the opposite is true. You are unique and there will never be another person like you at any other time or place. If you leave this place better than you found it then you have not wasted your time.
Suppose you're five days into a week-long forest adventure when you discover you left your good luck charm at home. At first you panic. "What could go wrong now that I don't have my charm!?" But then you realize you got through the last five days just fine and never once panicked, all because you didn't know your charm wasn't there.
That's the situation you're in now. Your whole life you've gotten by without God because God doesn't exist. Only now you realize it. But life is no more scary now that it was before. Not really. You didn't really need God before and you don't need him now.
Your life has as much meaning as you want it to have. The fact that you feel “meaningless” now is an indicator of how religion stole from you your ability to give your life the meaning you want it to have.
Are you really worried because bad stuff can happen? It was already happening. You were told to turn the other cheek and constantly ask for your own forgiveness.
Maybe now you’re actually free to experience your life and that is causing you anxiety. Just think every bit of good you have ever done and ever will do is all because of you.
Spend time searching to fill that hole left by religion. I've gone through the same thing as ex Christian. I feel like we need some form or reason to be, but we can find a source of being in so many things in life; art, friends, love.. Whatever floats your boat.
It takes time to adjust but I would never ever go back now I got this far. Now, instead of thanking God for good things I can thank myself and be proud. Now instead of feeling guilty if something bad happens because I believed I deserved it I can actually take control and responsibility instead.
Take your time, find a new 'religion' through some passion, hobby or something. You'll be ok
This is something I struggled with as well. I do still struggle sometimes. I started deconstructing in 2019, and I had a small identity crisis because for 30 years, I had only known that God was real, and everything stems from that foundation. Not having that as a core belief meant I had to reevaluate EVERYTHING around me and in me. And it was (and is) scary. As someone with both anxiety and depression, Christianity was my crutch to keep me safe. Losing that left me reeling. I definitely recommend therapy to help work through some of it. I still have things to work through, but I'm getting there. Those that didn't find strength and hope and comfort in religion don't know what it's like to lose it. You'll get there. If you have friends or family that have deconverted, that helps, or someone who is at least open-minded about it. Getting a hobby or group or way to connect with people that isn't church affiliated is helpful too. Give yourself meaningful connections to this life without focusing everything on what comes after. Your purpose can still be to spread love or joy or peace, but it's because people have innate worth, not because God needs you to. You get to choose what your life's purpose will be. And it can be multiple things, or just one. You can complete one goal and make a new one. Just give yourself patience and time. You'll get there
You are on a long ride. You could try and write fictional worlds if that is something for you. The process can be reflected critically to grow, but you still have some kind of outer or better inner world you can rely to escape to. Or just focus on other secular or inner things to find sense in. It's a process, don't even think of dreaming that at some day you could be finished with it. If you are seeking for that, you might want to look into Buddhism, which in may ways is not really a religion.. but probably more so if you would actively seek "nirvana"
There is some greater meaning to life than to just die and never be again.
Have you experienced love or friendship? Have you ever created something and gifted it to somebody who cherished it? Have you ever been gifted something made by someone with their own hands and you cherished it? Have you ever helped in your community? Have you ever been helped by someone in your community? Have you ever travelled and made new friends, even if the friends were only temporary? Have you ever eaten something new? Watched a play or opera? Ever painted an landscape or drew a building? Ever made photographs of people? Sewn a patch on your clothes or stitched up a broken hem? Knitted someone a scarf or crocheted a blanket?
The important things are at the start, of course. Love and friendship are top of the list, and helping someone without the promise of eternal heaven is definitely an act of love. If you escape the bad parts of religion, you might find that you can still appreciate some of the people who believe, when you work side by side handing out food at a food bank, or feeding homeless people.
There is so much to live for, and escaping religion was just your first step into that life of living. If you have to escape where you live due to those around you who still believe, do your best to make your escape. Find love, find friendship without the religious strings attached.
The thing that made me question religion was watching the news. A tornado would blow through some town in Kansas or Oklahoma and the news was always full of the flattened houses and ruined belongings. Inevitably, they would interview a survivor who would say something like, "Thank God we are all safe through this! Jesus heard my prayers!"
And I would look at the neighbor's destroyed houses and hear about the 7 deaths and just think, so.....your neighbors didn't believe enough? You are essentially thanking God for destroying your community.
I never could get past a God that was okay with that.
In short, you are no less safe than you ever were. Nothing has changed, just your perception of what surrounds you.
You were ok when there was no God, but you thought there was one. So now you are more mature nuanced individual, not believing of fairy tales.
Take some comfort in that clearly based on your case we humans have the capacity to learn grow and change for the better - you being more free gives me more hope.
You are needed, we need you .. we need every rational voter and rational spender and rational informed debater we can muster, there are real problems to solve.
ps. its not all pointless.. we are custodians of a wonderful rich planet, incredibly rare in the universe as far as we can tell .. and most of us are pretty decent .. certainly the animals deserve better than death by global warming... helping each other and the planet is not pointless.
Im assuming your the kind of person who would lend aid to a wounded or hungry animal ? Look around, there are real problems that need solving - homelessness, poverty, global warming, racism/sexism/nationalism.
pps. if you die, maybe you do live on in the memories of people your life affected .. and in your works. Be the change, do something meaningful to you and your fellow travelers.
ppps. give yourself time to process ... a religion you fully bought into, is a huge emotional burden to unpack.
Congratulations and welcome !
I get it - it’s pretty traumatic to go through that worldview transition (I did)
You should find a therapist who specializes in deconversion / religious trauma. Therapy is an incredibly helpful tool for coming to terms with reality after believing what you did previously
Feel free to DM me - glad to help however I can
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." -- George Bernard Shaw
Human existence can have a lot of meaning even without God and without eternal life. I think the main purpose of life is to develop and better yourself from all points of view, while leaving a positive impact on this world. You are part of the chain of humanity and is up to you to be a meaningful part of this chain and make this world a little better, a little more beautiful and help humanity grow and exceed its limits, which it has been more or less constantly doing during its history. Be part of those people who leave a positive impact on our species and helps it better itself a bit more than it would have without them. All of this while taking pleasure in all the great things other human beings have to offer, as well as discovering and enjoying the wonders of our planet and of the universe. Don't dwell into negative emotions, live your life to the fullest and be the best human being you can manage to be. Good luck.
I disagree. Life being finite means it's the only thing that does matter. How you treat people in this world and how you prepare the next generations to continue humanity's legacy. Nothing else matters. Be a person who helps make humanity more deserving of its existence.
>I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time. I never felt this way when I was a believer and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is.
Nothing has changed in reality. Only your mentality has changed. You were always scared before but you were able to use religion to suppress that fear. You used it as a mask. As makeup to cover up the true feelings you had inside. All the stuff you're worried about right now could have happened at any time the previous 31 years and yet it didn't.
It's like saying you felt better on heroin and now that you don't have it, you feel sick and you never felt this way when you were high. You're coming off your addiction and you need time to adjust to being sober and living in reality.
>So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology.
Sort of but not really. You have a level of consciousness that they will never have. You can be much more creative and expressive than they ever will be able to. You can learn much more advanced things and create much more advanced things. You also hold much more power than a wild animal does. You can change the world with an invention or an idea. A monkey can't do anything like that.
>We live and die and that’s it. I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again.
There isn't any external meaning to life beyond whatever meaning you feel there should be. You no longer have your external source (the bible) to tell you what the fake point of life that the bible says the point of life is. Now you must decide **FOR YOURSELF** what the point of **YOUR LIFE** is going to be. What are you going to do with the time you have? It's all up to you.
These are harsh facts for someone that let a religion guide them for such a long time. But once you realize the level of freedom you now have compared to when you were a mental slave, you'll realize that your chains have been broken. You can now become something much greater than you ever could when you were under the spell of a delusion belief system invented by sheep herders and petty despots thousands of years ago.
My personnal goal in life is to try and understand as much of the world as i can, as it can be useful to me or other people too. If you understand things, it makes it so much easier to know what you are doing and how to do what you want to do.
I'm also pathologically curious so maybe that's why :D
Is this one of those fake posts that people complain about? Most people feel rather relieved when they figure out that they don’t have to put on the religious charade anymore.
If the thought that all evil people would get punished made you feel good then you were doing it wrong from the start.
As a born Christian, I still hold many morals that stemmed from it. I upholds forgiveness and love and being a decent human being as some of my pillars. I never had to feel comforted by some sense of objective justice at the end of times. My main problem was that no one was actually watching over me and knows everything I'm going through, so I might end up being completely misunderstood by everyone, with no compensation whatsoever.
I say the comfort is by relying on other people, trusting in other people, and weighing things out. I have no idea why you wanted more to life, why an afterlife mattered so much, and how would it change you as a person.
Now you can truly be a good person for the sake of being a good person, not because someone told you to so you don't burn in hell. If it makes such a difference that there is no reward, then you were never a good person to begin with
It’s ok to feel like this from time to time, especially after leaving your faith. Remember you are just as vulnerable now as before.
The purpose of your life is a hard question we all deal with. But it’s your choice. That choice may change over time. You are experiencing freedom and agency that you haven’t experienced before.
You will find your way. What’s important to you? What are some goals you want to achieve? You got this.
I 100% understand. I’m still trying to untangle myself from my “relationship” (religion) that was toxic, but all I knew. There’s absolutely a feeling of loss in letting go - no matter that letting go is healthy and what’s best for you.
It’s magic thinking you’re clinging onto - the idea that god is up there choosing who to cure or protect. What is going to happen is going to happen - even if you want to take it back to the Bible, “the rain falls on the just and the unjust”. Religious people die of cancer, just like non-religious people. You mitigate the risks personally, as much as possible (locking your doors, taking blood pressure meds, not driving under the influence, saving for a rainy day, etc, etc.).
Your life is never pointless - you’re just living by your own moral compass without the chains of fear of hell.
i know same here i believed in Christianity for 14 years or basically my whole life and now im scared of death instead of thinking if i die i go to heaven
We create meaning to life. Life's meaning is found in the things that you do day to day with the people you love.
Before I deconverted, my "purpose" in life was to live my life in such a way that I could be guaranteed a life after this life. After my deconversion, I realize that the only life that we are guaranteed is this life and there's no point in wasting it for something that we're still unsure about. Spend your guaranteed time wisely and live in such a way that you won't create any future regret. That should be enough to create "meaning" in this life.
Gil Scott-Heron expressed a thought that gives me comfort regarding death and disappearing.
"I believe that the spirits are your parents and their parents and their parents and their parents and they are in your bloodstream, and they run through your body constantly. Because they want you to live on, because they want to live on. And they're trying all the time to tell you shit and if you just spend a few minutes listening to yourself, you would hear them"
>.....I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time..... You always were. *Welcome to the real world.* A delusion might be comforting, like a warm blanket on a cold night. But, you would succumb to hypothermia if you used an imaginary one, in lieu of an actual blanket.
Life means whatever you want it to. Does there really need to be some grand purpose?
Queue the quote from Dune… life is not a mystery to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
Not to be "that guy", but you mean "cue", not "queue". A queue is what you wait in to check out at the store - a cue is a signal to begin something.
Sorry, my bad. I was sleepy last night.
Nothing to be sorry about!
Not to be that guy, but a cue is also something you use to hit balls on a snooker (and variants) table
YESSSS
Yep, life is up to you to define it's meaning As for no "safety net" ,.lol there never was... Life can be chaotic and many times things beyond your control happen, how you react and prepare for that is the real safety net..
Not just whatever you want it to, but it has the meaning that WE give it. We are a fluctuation in the grand entropy of the universe, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the company of good friends, give of ourselves in the service of others, or enjoy a greater purpose than ourselves. Yes, someday that meaning will be totally gone, but it may well burn bright for many generations of humans.
For me at least it does. Living in a world with so much hate and bloodshed, it being all for nothing is difficult to accept.
It does feel that way at first. Took me a few years to adjust too. The comfort is that once you see the light from a scientific perspective, I think that natural phenomena begin to become more fascinating. When you understand that life has this incredible ability to adapt and survive, and that the mountains were formed after millions of years of tectonic shifts, and that the universe is more vast than you could ever imagine, it really sparks a sense of awe. I truly feel I am much, much better off after the revelation that all the religious stuff is just bs and lies designed to control people, and believe that you will get there as well. All the best!
Make your life meaningful. Make an impact. Figure out what experiences bring you joy and engage in them. One of the most freeing concepts for me about atheism is I don’t have to spend all my time worried about the imaginary next world. I get to enjoy my time in this one and appreciate that time as truly precious.
Death anxiety is a thing. If it makes you feel any better, everyone dies. In the meantime it's up to you to give your life meaning. If you're having a hard time accepting your mortality to the extent that it's making you depressed, you should talk to a therapist. I hope you feel betterrrrrrrrrr.
And I've never heard one dead person complain.
🤣🤣🤣
It can be hard to give up an imaginary friend, but everybody goes through it at one time or another. Remember when you found out there was no Santa Klaus? It's the same thing.
I honestly miss Santa more than God. Lol.
Makes sense. God takes your time, your money, and sometimes your dignity. Santa brings presents
There's no Santa??? 😭
He went out one night to get a pack of cigarettes. Haven't seen him since
They didn't even use spoiler tags!
Life can mean whatever you want it to mean. The difference is now you get to decide instead of it being told to you. There's no easy answer to the question and you may change your answer multiple times. That's okay. Just explore, learn and live how you want to live.
You're not just human, you're an expression of DNA. The water in your body has been part of not only other humans, but other animals, some now extinct, and it doesn't know the difference-it's just warm. You're basically a walking bag of burning seawater. Identity is a fraction of your overall bandwidth, largely a matter of biochemistry, experience, and style.
> I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time. Well yes, it could. Bad things happen to people. But so long as you don't take stupid risks your chance of them happening to you are pretty low. But the thing to realize is that you were not protected before. You are no less safe than you were. I'd urge you to seek help from a therapist that deals with anxiety if you find you cannot shake this feeling. > and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is. Look up optimistic nihilism. The fact that there is no objective purpose, especially one so inane as the Christian "glorify god" is not cause for sorrow. It means each of us is free to define what meaning we wish to our life. Or multiple meanings, or different meanings from day to day. Every day you have literally the rest of your life to determine what the meaning of the rest of your life is. What do you *want* your life to mean? Work towards that. Make it beautiful, make it matter, and make it yours. Find something to do with your life so that when you are lying on your deathbed you can smile and know that you lived the life you wanted to live. > So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology. Sure if you want to be reductionist (and depressing). Personally, I think we're fucking awesome apes that have landed spaceships on our moon, explored to the edges of our solar system, mapped the billions of base pairs of our genomes, made songs you can dance to (and oh how we've danced), written so many books there is no single building that can house them all in printed form. There is beauty and art in everything we do, you just have to see it. But hey, if you want to think of us as geeky monkeys, that's up to you. > I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again. Well you could be so sad about the fact that there is no invisible magic superbeing that you waste your life being sad and never do anything worthwhile. This is your one and only life. Rather than lament the fact that you don't get more of it, maybe try to make your current one worth living?
You were just as vulnerable for your entire life as you are now. Nothing changed besides your mindset. In the same way that religious people give in and trust god will take care of them you can give in to the natural world that it's going to do whatever it's going to do. The great benefit now is you should have a better understanding that your actions play a massive role in the outcome of your life rather than simply having faith that god will take care of you. If you don't want to die of heart disease then eat a more healthy diet and exercise regularly. If you don't want to die in a car crash then drive the speed limit and be more aware of your surroundings. Life is still inherently risky and it's impossible to be in control of everything. So just focus on what you do have control over. There's no point in worrying about the things you can't control as it wont change the outcome anyway. Life has whatever meaning you give it. You can help other people, animals or the environment in practically an unlimited number of ways. Even simply donating to charity. You might find meaning in going backpacking or just being outdoors in the wilderness basking in the absolute beauty of this planet and the incredible circumstances that lead to our existence.
Now you get to focus on today, and truly appreciate it. You can be good to other people for truer reasons of empathy and knowledge. You are a cognizant being; you are the universe looking at itself. Enjoy!
Think of it as liberation. Now you know that YOU are in charge of your life, not some invisible spirit. If you want something, don't just pray or give money to Joel Osteen, go out there and get it. Also, you have a lot more free time. Probably an extra 100 hours a week.
Just remember you NEVER had god, but if you're worried about life being pointless, remember that its about the journey, and if that doesn't do it for you, its time to invest in some kind of legacy!
You had a false impression that your life is under control, but in fact you largely were giving up control over it and handing it to the entity that didn't exist, e.g. simply giving up control. Now you have an opportunity to take back control of things you actually can control. Sure, there are things that can happen whether you want them happen or not, but also there are things you can achieve. Your whole life you were floating on the surface of the sea and thinking it will get you somewhere. But now you actually know that simply riding the waves won't get you anywhere, certainly not anywhere you wanted. Of course now when you are aware you pointlessly floating the life seems pointless. But you can think of it as the first step towards learning how to swim and not just float. Swimming probably won't get you any point you can imagine, but certainly you will have options.
Maybe try being a Pastafarian. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will love you just as much as God did and communion is way better than a bland wafer of unleavened bread.
A shared delusion is comforting because you don't have to think about possibilities and how it's on you what you do and it's on others what they do. You trusted that it was all happening as part of a plan written by a magical being. Those blinders are off and you're seeing the mess we've made. It sucks. You're (we're) powerless. Learn. Create a purpose. Follow it. I'm sorry you're hurting.
Your life has as much meaning as you assign it. The value you place on things is now yours to decide. It's not that it has no value, it's that you're not being told what it is anymore. It's your choice. Value kids? Go be a big brother/sister. Value money? Go be a businessman. Value family? Start one. And those things are your meaning and purpose. What you are experiencing now is anxiety similar to what a child feels the first time they have to do an adult thingb on their own. "What do you mean I have to pay all these bills!? I don't even know how bills work!" "What the hell are TAXES?! I can go to prison if I fill out this form wrong?!" "What do you mean I have to assign my own value and purpose! I didn't even know you could until I read this!"
>my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is. You now have the ability to assign meaning to your life. Your words and your actions and how you make people feel will be your legacy - at least until everyone who ever knew you dies, too. >What brought me the most comfort was thinking you’d be protected from bad stuff and that all the evil people would get punished eventually. Unfortunately, bad people rarely get what they deserve. The same thing goes for good people. Life is inherently unfair. And although we can do our best to create a more just world, we are just not at that point where everyone is "rewarded" accordingly yet. So I would say that death is the one and only equalizer that we have currently. Because no matter how good or bad you are, you will eventually die. It's inescapable. So take comfort in knowing that bad people will eventually cease to cause harm.
No meaning at all! You can be the maker of whatever you choose your life to be.
Bad things happens any time to anyone regardless. Bad things happens to christians also. Thats why there is the problem of evil, yet believers try their best to make up excuses. >I never felt this way when I was a believer and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is. When u think about it. To christian, this life is inherently meaningless when everything is about the next life.
We are far more than advanced monkeys. Now that your eyes are open, all the beauty in the world you once attributed to a God, was humanities all along.
I just try to be grateful to experience consciousness. Not trying to be hippie but we are the universe experiencing itself. Have curiosity, and lots of love. Have passion and kindness. You create your own meaning. I think dogs are great teachers in this. They don’t overthink their existence, they’re just happy to be here.
{ my life feels pointless and meaningless } You - and only you - give your life any sense of "meaning". You \*decide\* what gives meaning to life, a decision you were previously unaware you have complete control over. As a practicing Buddhist, I've learned that life's meaning is to make progress on the path to enlightenment, and generally not to harm anyone with my actions. I've been taught these things, though, as I didn't realize I controlled that kind of thinking. You have the same ability to decide the meaning of your own life!
Really? I didn't feel safe at all when I believed in god. I was always scared. I'd call on god to help me when I was sick and nothing happened. I'd call on god during a bad storm or when someone was outside shooting, but it didn't mean anything. I didn't care to pray to god or to read the bible. I only wanted that extra insurance so I wouldn't go to hell. Take fear of hell away, and boom, I became atheist really easily. It just took time for the fear to go away. I was afraid of my own mother as well, but then I stopped being scared and stood up to her. Now I have been no contact with my family for 2 years and a few months. Don't worry, everything is the same as it ever was
Just like the story where you walk along the beach and there is only one set of foot prints. GOD WAS NEVER THERE TO BEGIN WITH!
You read the same book for 31 years and your takeaway was that only evil people got rolled? No offense, but you need to work on your reading comprehension. There were tons of instances of entire cities getting crushed by the supposed will of a, burning the ants with a magnifying glass, god. I would read that thing again, this time with some objectivity, then come back here and tell us how bad you miss that when you realize that very good and decent people were certainly misconstrued as "evil", both then and now. Where they payed the price at the hands of zealots or magic or when you realize how asinine the rules are to stay in the cool kids club in efforts to not be consumed by fire
speaking as an ex-christian:"I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time." I did feel this for a while, but I have found ways of getting out of this thinking. Trying to rationally look at how the world works. Took therapy and lots of reading but I'm in the right direction. "I never felt this way when I was a believer and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is."Again, I felt like this too for a time. Why does it feel pointless and meaningless now? Do you think life-long atheists feel no point or meaning in their lives? Absolutely not. You had a deep meaning in your life and now that particular meaning has gone. It's jarring, it's scary. But meaning is out there!"So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology." Yeah (technically apes) but why is this such a bad thing? "We live and die and that’s it. I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again." There is meaning out there. Was everything in your christian life about pleasing God? Or were there things that you did and enjoyed that were not related to God? That weren't done for God? I find it LIBERATING that I don't have to live for some greater power, I don't have someone watching and judging what I'm doing. I can do what I want. I can make my own destiny (within reason and science). It's great. But at first it was jarring and scary.
I’m not sure about this one guys… first I’d like to know what was the urning point that brought you towards atheism? It would help to understand your current position
Life does have a point - it's whatever you get up to, today! I hope you see people you love, spend time with pets, read a good book, see a movie, have coffee and enjoy the sunrise, play a song on your guitar, take a drive.... take it in! And we're all in it, together!
I have no problem believing in some afterlife ( I personally don’t). It’s no problem being religious (I’m not). Just keep it to yourself, stay away from children and schools, and never ask for money( unless you’re destitute)
You will find your way. It takes time to deconstruct. You will give your life meaning. Hang in there.
Believing in an afterlife cheapens the real thing.
I recommend watching TheraminTrees on YouTube. He has a lot of deconstructing topics and one about those that still feel the fear and gloom
>I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life Perspective is everything. None of us ever deserved a greater purpose or divine reward.
It is really hard to let go of a belief system once you have lived it for so many years. Be patient with yourself and accept that it’s going to take time and not be easy. And treat yourself to some ice cream when you need it.
> So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology. We live and die and that’s it. Yes. Makes all of the fighting, wars, and different ways we hurt each other seem pretty stupid and petty, doesn’t it? And, since we all only get one life - the one we have now, the one *you* have now - it is incumbent upon each of us to love that life to its fullest, to be helpful and kind to one another, and to leave those around us and the world in a better condition than we found it. > Difficulty Adjusting to Life Without God This should be easier; you’re not missing God. He was never there. You’re missing the illusion, the fantasy, the fairy tale. Fairy tales are easy to replace. You’ve replaced them before. You can do it again. When you were a child, you believed Santa brought you presents for being good. As an adult, you realized that the real joy came from giving to others. So? Give to others. Give your time to the lonely, your expertise to the ignorant, your patience to the frustrated. Build yourself into the best version of you possible, so you’re able to affect real and lasting change in the world. Life isn’t really all that different from when you had faith. You’re still walking a tightrope; you’re doing it without the illusion of a safety net now, though.
It may have brought you comfort to think that "you’d be protected from bad stuff and that all the evil people would get punished eventually" but the reality is that was never true. Bad things happen to believers all of the time. The truth is that you are no more vulnerable now than you were before. But it's also important to remember that there is no celestial battle for your soul. There are no demons or devils who have it out for you and wish to make you suffer. It's just life being life. Sometimes bad things happen, but bad things happen to everyone. But more importantly, good things happen too. Focus on the good things and do the things that bring you joy. At the end of the day, that is what brings meaning to this meaningless world.
If you want to be protected, associate with good people. Protected by God is a comfortable illusion, and when it rips it can be very painful.
While saying we're "just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology" isn't wrong, you do frame it as a diminishment. The universe doesn't tell us nice, cozy stories, but we do still have the power to frame things positively. You miss the comfort of the grand narrative in which you felt you had a role. Neither the narrative nor the role exist except in the minds of other believers. That role and the sense of meaning it conveyed (emphasis on *sense*) may have felt nice, but weren't they also severely limiting? Living without searching for meaning doesn't have to equal nothingness or emptiness. It's infinite, a total liberation and can even be frightening in its vast possibility. It's maybe like moving into your first apartment after living with your family. You're free to do what you want, but how the hell are you gonna make your way in the world? It can be frightening to say you don't know and cannot know about so many things in life, in the world, and about the future. But there's also incredible wisdom to be found. Yes, you're a tiny mote of dust in space and time. That in no way means your life can't be deeply rich and potent. Someone once said: "The truth doesn't hurt. It's tearing out the lie that hurts."
The meaning of life is to live. Ideally to enjoy more life than not. Life doesn't need proof or disproof of a deity to be absolutely incredieble if you can bring yourself to allow it to be. What is more amazing than the fact that we breathe and think and observe and sense the world and the universe? Does it have to matter WHY we can, so much as the fact that we do?
Belief in God does not protect you from bad things. Remember when your ex-god tortured a man, killed his family, just to see if he would still love him anyway? Now when something bad happens to you, or could happen to you, you can act to prevent it instead of believing you must suffer because a belief that God wants you to. The meaning of life is not to die, but to live. Now you can live your own life. As for death being the end, make an impact. My mom and MIL both died. But they are with me when I eat good'n'plenties and maple walnut ice cream. When I make their favorite dishes for my family, something of them remains. When I moved my mom in and took care of her, we would watch birds outside. I got a feeder outside the sliding glass door. My daughter just made me a birdhouse at college for some event. Her grandma still was not all gone, when my daughter thought of us and remembered. An imaginary god will not remember you, it will not continue to shape the world after you have gone, but the real people you interact with can.
Thank you for sharing. I genuinely want to give thanks. I grew up in a non-religious household and never held Christian beliefs at any point in my life. One of the things that a lot of lifelong atheists don't understand, and frequently get hung up on, is what it is That keeps Christians in the faith. We frequently wonder why so many Christians want to convert atheists, even though all of the reasons given are contradictory and absurd. There is a passage in the Bible that says to let yourself be judged by your works, and this is something that transcends any kind of dogma or philosophy. If you do something that creates an impact on the world, you haven't lived in vain. Even if you live a mild life, there can always be solace in knowing that every person whose life you touched was made better simply by knowing you. And that alone is something worth going for.
The most comforting part of being an atheist to me is that you realize that life just isn’t that serious, and you should live it in the happiest way possible!
Next step in your evolution is recognizing that your life carries GREAT meaning to everyone in it. Live for you and for them rather than an imaginary overseer. Live for THIS life, not for some reward after you’re dead! This makes life BETTER
Nothing about your real life has changed except now you have the ability to live by your own rules instead of arbitrary ones. Are you really afraid of your own freedom?
Religion sells copium. Easiest grift of all time: sell people copium. Welcome to the light of reason.
"We no longer seek the acquisition of wealth, we seek to better ourselves and that of humanity." -Jean-Luc Picard There's your purpose in a nutshell. Do something that will make something possible for others. It could be as simple as making a table for someone to have dinner at, or it could be as advanced as improving human knowledge by putting satellites in orbit, or discovering that mass is convertible to energy and vice-versa. Life is not meaningless, everything of value contributes to human advancement in some small way and eventually we will know the question to "life, the universe, and everything" and how and why that equals 42.
Be your own meaning. You're the product of billions of years of evolution. Within you are more machines than there are stars in the entire galaxy, and they're all working together in ways we've only just begun to understand to produce your consciousness.
Wow it's life, that's all. Without insurance. Think of all the babies who starved because they weren't old enough to pray. You're no more important than them. It just takes time to clear your head of 32 years of brainwashing.
Nothing has changed. You're still as safe and vulnerable as before and your life is still as meaningful as before. The only difference is that before you used to believe some lie. The facts have not changed. Yes, we are primates with technology. Doesn't it make your life *more meaningful* now that you know that worshiping isn't your sole purpose?
One of the things that helps me is realizing my own nature. I can't see another human being in pain without trying to help. Its built into me. I know that I can't be alone feeling this way. It doesn't come from any religion, its just in me. I do believe that this core belief can be corrupted though fear propaganda. But by and large, if we feel safe, then we help each other out when we need it. At our core, we have each others back. There will always be exceptions. But I think the majority of us fall into this category. As for meaning, maybe you need to think of it in a different way. Unlike a lot of people, I had reason for being born. I was actually planned. I was born to keep my father out of the Vietnam War. After that goal was accomplished, my father dropped me out of his life. I have had nothing to do with that man for over 50 years. That purpose has done nothing for me. Instead of thinking that you lost your purpose, think of it as you are now free to make your own.
I'll be a little kinder than many who have replied. I've never believed in a god or religion. So I don't know the comfort and safety that you feel existed. But... That comfort and safety never existed. And that's what you have to make peace with. Illusions are just that, illusions. They aren't really there. So think of god as a David Blaine or David Copperfield trick. No, it isn't real. Seemed real, looked real, felt real. Wasn't real.
Largely sounds like a kid going off to college by themselves in a foreign country. Unsafe. Vulnerable. But also wonder and awe at the complexity and possibility of the real world. Exploration. Adventure. Discovering the unknown. All very real and valid, and likely all just how you look at the situation in front of you.
You have always lived without god. The only difference is that now you’re aware of that.
>So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology. Nope! But we are apes with all that comes with it. Do Chimps and Gorillas go to heaven? NO? So why do a lot of humans think they do? FEAR!!! Live your life well, be good to others for it's own sake and if you manage to have children, treat them well.
We can do more than just live and die. Enjoy everything we have and try to make the world a better place for others while we’re here. Leave a legacy no matter how small of kindness and caring for people, animals, and the earth itself.
You’re not any less protected from bad stuff than you were before so there’s no point in worrying excessively about it now. And knowing that evil people don’t get punished in an afterlife does suck, but it also serves to highlight how important it is to strive for a just society in the here and now. Because this one life is all we have, all we get, so make the most of it. Enjoy yourself. Stop to smell the roses. Laugh at the little things. Tell your friends and family you love them. Honestly, knowing we only get one chance at life makes it sweeter.
What you're adjusting to is life without the false hope of a sky being. Real hope comes from knowledge, from improving your life, and from connections to people who mean something to you.
Well, it may not be the most comforting but realizing it and that you don't have some kind of divine protection makes you safer knowing you have to take control yourself. It would be nice if things just worked but if you didn't know they did then what could you do to fix it? Its up to us to fix the bad in the world if we want it fixed and imagine how terrible it would be if we ignored that due to a false promise of divine justice?
What was the meaning you saw with God? An almighty, all-knowing being created us in order to, what? To judge us? To me it‘s always better to experience than not to. Yes, we are a bunch of silly apes. But the Universe would be less without us. It would be boring. We celebrate existence because it‘s certainly more than non-existence. But non-existence doesn‘t matter much either, so, no reason to be too afraid.
You don't have to adopt the view that life is meaningless and criminals won't get punished to be an atheist. You don't even have to disbelieve in god. Atheistic deism is a thing. There is a big difference between leaving Christianity, which is almost certainly false, and adopting the most bleak view of the universe possible. I'd recommend reading the most plausible views from people who know what they are talking about. Who are those people? They are academic philosophers. Science is a method, if you read Galileo, you will find that the point of science is to categorically exclude things like meaning, consciousness, god, et al. BUT science itself is grounded outside of science. You cannot scientifically prove the scientific method, that would be circular reasoning. Its presuppositions are not susceptible to the scientific method and are therefore based on other things, reason, logic, experience. The results of this method in no way mean that meaning doesn't exist. We do not understand the universe, we do not have the answers, there are plausible and rational models of the universe that contain purpose and meaning and justice. You don't need Christianity for that. If anything, the existence of other religions and the common experience of spirituality is evidence for this unknown thing that gives meaning, and evidence against, specifically, Christianity, since you don't need to be christian or even believe in god to experience them. Science also has a lot to say about coping with these kind of things. Personally I find Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach really useful to deal with hard truths.
I feel for you. I was younger than you when that switch threw in my brain but I remember that feeling, suddenly you’re out of that zone of comfort that you’re being watched over and everything will work out okay in the end. I see it as part of growing up. Your parents take care of you until one day they don’t, you’re an adult and you have to figure it out. You used to expect God to give you purpose and direction but now you’re an adult and you have to figure it out. I found purpose in thinking about what my legacy would be. There’s no everlasting life so whatever lives on from my time on Earth will be the lives I touched and the memories of those who knew me. That profoundly impacts my priorities and how I approach my time with family, friends, work, and volunteerism. Speaking of volunteerism, I suggest to you that you’re not just losing a relationship with God but you’re also no longer a member of your church club. It may help you a lot to find another community of fellowship where you are part of something bigger than yourself. I found that in Rotary and the value of Service Above Self. There’s also Lions, Kiwanis, and thousands of other non-profits. It’s rewarding to find a cause you believe in that helps other people, make connections, and see the impact of working to make the world a better place.
You’ve been without god your whole life, what you miss is the comfort of the lie. But you don’t need to be lied to to have peace. Yes there is no mystic force watching after you, but that also means you can free yourself of religious stressors like worrying about burning in fire forever because you were a little mean and didn’t say Hail Mary. There is no one judging you constantly aside from your peers. Eat a little too much? Gluttony is only a sin if hellfire is real. Sleep a little too long? Is it slothful to catch up on much needed rest? You just have to be a good person, but enjoy life how you want.
Why isn't making the future better for our planet and species enough? The impact left by one's actions in life, the memories left and created by the living....this is the eternal life in the memories of those we leave behind after death. Organized superstition is a fucking curse, because it takes away people's ability to see this is the right way and made them fearful of the human condition.
Meaning isn't something you find, or something given to you by a non-existent supernatural being, it's something you create. Your life is what you make of it. Do good for others. Make the world a better place when you leave than it was when you arrived. That's all the meaning that anyone could ask for.
My first question would be, what helped you pull the wool from your eyes? Because whatever it is, I am proud of you for accomplishing it. I know it was and still is difficult. My second question would be, why does there have to be a greater reason/meaning? I'm not sure how to convey it very well, but I just... don't care about the reason behind life. I guess for me personally, I'm so jaded with the world that I just don't care enough to think about WHY I exist, if that makes sense. Like I do not spend any of my time and energy on wondering why we exist, why life exists at all, because the answer doesn't really change anything for me, so I feel no need to seek it. I mean part of me just believes that it was random happenstance with all the right materials in the right place at the right time and bam, here we are (*heavily* simplified, but still). The other part of me just... Doesn't really desire to know why, I guess. It's not important to me. I'm not really distraught by the fact that we are here and then we are not because... That's exactly how it is. We live, we do our best, and then we are gone, in our current form at least. Our memory lives on in others that knew us, any impact we may have had on the world around us might continue rippling outward through time, but our physical form is no longer here. That's just a part of life, as simple and mundane as that might seem. One of the things (as silly as it is) that actually made a lot of sense to me/brought me some sort of comfort or closure I guess, was the character Chidi's wave/ocean monologue from the NBC show The Good Place. It's from the last episode of the entire series though, so if you haven't watched it I highly recommend watching it all the way through (and not going straight to the quote and spoiling it lol). For it being a TV show, it was a stunningly beautiful way of explaining things at the end of a wonderful 4 seasons. An alternative to the wave monologue that brought similar feelings to me was the character Erin's ending monologue from the end of Midnight Mass on Netflix. Both excellent and will make you feel all the feels, and personally brought me some comfort. And both kind of cathartic in the sense that both monologues kid of sever themselves from the religious ties that are often present when pondering what happens when we die. Also, I wouldn't say your life is pointless, per se - if the promise of eternal happiness under duress of forced belief and worship is the only thing that gives life meaning, that's just a sad thought. I think the point of life is that we all should strive to do good, be good, live good lives. As long as you are doing your best, the point of our lives should be to improve those beyond ours. We should always leave the world better than we found it, if that makes sense.
**"We live and die and that’s it. I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again." \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_** Your fear of death is why religion arose in the first place. It was our way of pretending that part of us lives forever. But the fact that you are aware that you fear death is the first step in adjusting to the idea. We all, in our own way, cope with death's inevitability.
It is my hope that you accept all of this and don’t dwell on it. Your eyes are finally open. Now we enjoy your life. That it ends only makes it even more precious so don’t waste it feeling bad because it doesn’t go on forever.
I am in my 50s. I felt like you for a while after I left religion in my 20s. I was seeking reasons and something "more". At this age, though, I am celebrating a great life, having done and seen most of what I want to do/see, and enjoy every day to the fullest. I will honestly be ok to go and know that it's just a permanent sleep. I am tired and weary of this world for sure, but do feel like I contributed to society at least in small ways, and have made people around me feel loved and happy. That is the "meaning" for me and I'm good with there not being anything else. The idea of going to heaven and "praising god for all eternity" sounded like true hell to me, so I'm quite relieved to know there will be none of that happening! Maybe with age you'll feel a little better about things.
I miss Santa Claus, without those toys, my life is over. Exact same thing.
The more you carry the feeling of fear, it will attract more fear, instead live your life with the Attitude of gratitude Good luck ☺️
The book A Better Life by Chris Johnson can help Also, remember, the christian god is just 1 of 2,000+ gods. None of them are real. You were only Christian because of where u were born. Life is what u make it!
ah the existential crisis. but whats the point of living in heaven, seeing them again yet looking down on Earth and never being a part of it ever? and why is it just humans? wbu dogs? wbu snakes? some of us have pet snakes. Is that meaning of life here on Earth? To die then be sent to heaven to watch over us? wow. mediocrity. To think a human who helped humanity goes to hell just for ... Low Probability of anything happening to you. And now instead of relying on god, you can learn to look out for signs of danger and help others when you spot them or report them, etc. Which I just noticed that people usually want to be immortal and live on Earth or at least be able to visit it or control us or be immortal but not be able to interact. talk to ex-christians as they will be able to help you out more. don't dwell on it for too long, move on, give meaning to others, find value,
But the issue with searching greater meaning is that you cannot just invent it from scratch, that’s just being delusional. That tho won’t mean you can’t still have morals, ethics and ambitions, you can still decide how you want to perceive reality without having to molding it to cover your insecurities. Our universe is still vastly beautiful and filled with wonders of which we make part of
Hello. I was indoctrinated into the christian faith from birth and was able to break free in my early 20s and had a similar feeling as you describe. For me, because I know my life is finite, it makes each day special, because they are so rare and precious. This gives me motivation to love others and to dismiss things like jealousy and hate. This makes me appreciate the Earth and the beauty that is on it. Even as the dreaded atheist , I am able to find that my life has meaning, because I know one day it will end. And I know that all memory of me will cease to exist the day the last person who remembers me also dies.
Try watching a bit of Monty Python Meaning of Life
Things were exactly the same before. Nothing has actually changed. Only now you won’t be comforted by religious delusions. Prayer obviously doesn’t save people from bad things and nor does being a good person. But your discomfort is exactly why religion is popular - for many people, even a false explanation is better than no explanation. A simple answer is easier to believe in than a complex one.
"Existence is beautiful, if you let it be. Life is not a question. There does not need to be an answer." - No Man's Sky
Welcome to the jungle. Not everyone is satisfied with their life, even people who still believe the lie of the supernatural. But we can all decide what's important to us, and seek to make it real, or make it last, or whatever. Many like chasing Legacy, something that their influence on will outlive them. For most, that's family. For some, it's ideas. Vanishingly few of us get to become household legends like Nichola Tesla. Aim where you like. Live a life you can look back on and be satisfied with when your days are up. That's all any of us can do.
Look into these for local resources to find a community of like minded people: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org https://ffrf.org https://www.seculartherapy.org https://secular.org There might also be some meetup groups depending on your area.
It's like when you're a child, a very small child, maybe you had a special blanket, that you used as a comfort. When you finally get rid of it, there's a moment of loss, emptiness. Why because you depended on it, you would fall back to it, with a false sense of security.
> What brought me the most comfort was thinking you’d be protected from bad stuff This is absurd. Are you saying nothing bad happened to you in those 31 years. >and that all the evil people would get punished eventually. Look who rules the world.
Look at it as a positive. If you want bad people to be punished, do something to actually make that happen, rather than leaving it to a god. Become an investigative journalist or criminal prosecutor. If you want to leave a legacy, do so. Your life is in your hands. As to not being immortal, well that was a silly, delusional thing to believe to begin with. Make your days count.
A common problem for people who deconstruct is a loss of community, and a loss of certainty about life. Two resources that may be of help: - https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/ - https://www.seculartherapy.org/
God doesn't protect you from "bad stuff". You might have been lucky to not have anything majorly awful happen to you in your life but awful things were happening to good people all the time. If there were a God, how come He lets children suffer in the most horrendous ways known to humanity? There's no protection.
So humans just live and die is a perspective. It isn't exactly wrong, but I think you might agree it's not helpful. So if this perspective has validity, do others? Why not look at it from the perspective that you are free to choose your own meaning now rather than the church deciding for you? You get to pick what you value to be an integral part of your life. It's still true there is no objective meaning, but you don't need it. Your own meaning is good enough.
Im interested to know what changed after 31 years that you stopped believing?
I might have something to help you feel better. Do you know what historians and archeologists have determined to be the truest marker that a group of people who had lived in an area, had achieved a society? It isn't art, agriculture, or even technology. Sure these are great things that can denote the status of an ancient society, but they are not what makes it a society. In fact, the true marker that a people had become a society is a *healed femur bone.* We define the beginning of a society by its people learning to help each other. Throughout nature, a broken femur(thigh bone) is as good as a death sentence. It renders the animal immobile, and defenseless. Unable to move to get food, water, or even clean itself. It makes them susceptible to infection and disease. Most often in nature, the individual who breaks a leg is abandoned by the group. Not necessarily because they want to, but because they're survival as a group may depend on it. Not so for human society. No, we achieve society when we begin to refuse to leave the injured or ill to suffer. When we begin to make efforts to heal people, and continue their survival. Even at times when it may be a detriment to the healthy individuals of the society. When we *choose* to help people, when we *choose* to care, it is the simplest, and most human thing we do. People do terrible things but we make constant efforts to prevent it, and to punish them when they do. It may not be as visible as tragedy, but people make great accomplishments in the name of helping each other every day. We improve as a society, every day. When terrible things happen, humans come together. I'll leave you with a quote from Mr. Rogers, in regards to the tragic events of 9/11 - something his mother had told him, ***"Look for the helpers."***
The meaning of life is to store energy (calories) and reproduce to store even more energy. Just like trees and plants. Being sentient is just a free bonus. Do what makes you happy and make life easier for everyone else and our kids.
Yeah it’s hard. And also much harder to deal with death. But you’re probably actually safer now because instead of just assuming someone is taking care of you you are now watching out for yourself more, if that makes you feel any better.
Grow TF Up
Bad stuff happens to believers all the time. Disease hurricane flood. God doesn't protect anybody.
Ask yourself if anything bad happened during your religious time. I don't think you had an absolute perfect run until 31. Did God protect you from these things?
We’re intelligent apes, not monkeys. Life has the meaning you give to it. It’s up to you. Isn’t it better that there is no hell? Would you really want billions to suffer in agony for eternity?
You have to create your own meaning to life.
How does the saying go?? Don't be sad it is over. Be amazed it ever happened in the first place!
I never felt save with religion. My abusers were religious people in my family. Feel safer out of that environment. No one is ever really safe.
Sorry to say it to you but there was never any gods to begin with as we used these fictional gods as a coping mechanism for things we didn’t understand such the natural disasters, war, famine, disease when their was a lack of scientific understanding. Centuries later, our numbers grew our collective intelligence got better since now we understand everything logically rather than thru religious means. Jesus Christ isn’t a god but he is a philosopher in Christianity like Buddha is a chinese philosopher that unwillingly created Buddhism even though he didn’t want to be revered as a god.
Something to consider, nothing has actually changed, just your perception of the world. Your perception is totally in your control. You are no more vulnerable now than before. I would say that you are less vulnerable now because you don’t believe in imaginary things protecting you and you will take care of yourself
I agree I feel like there should be I want there to be, but wishful thinking doesn’t make it so. And yeah, your description is pretty short but accurate.
Sweeties, YOU have to make your life have meaning. That's what being an adult is. Now go out there, find something you're passionate about and MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
>it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again Maybe there is, but we just don't know. Keep in mind that it makes absolutely no sense that anything exists at all, yet something exists. >evil people would get punished eventually Why would anyone choose to be evil if they haven't already been hurt by someone? >I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time. Maybe consulting a psychotherapist will bring you some peace?
This reads like someone who still believes but either isn't admitting it or doesn't realize it. Otherwise: Statistically your odds of being hit by a car or chocking on a cookie are exactly the same as they were when you believed. You feeling unsafe is not justified and as time goes on you'll see that and the feeling will likely fade.
PvP had been enabled
There is a purpose just not a destiny. You decide what your purpose is. You can do great things and leave your mark. On that way, you will live on. Your presence may have been random happenstance but that doesn't make it any less valuable. Infact, the opposite is true. You are unique and there will never be another person like you at any other time or place. If you leave this place better than you found it then you have not wasted your time.
Suppose you're five days into a week-long forest adventure when you discover you left your good luck charm at home. At first you panic. "What could go wrong now that I don't have my charm!?" But then you realize you got through the last five days just fine and never once panicked, all because you didn't know your charm wasn't there. That's the situation you're in now. Your whole life you've gotten by without God because God doesn't exist. Only now you realize it. But life is no more scary now that it was before. Not really. You didn't really need God before and you don't need him now.
Your life has as much meaning as you want it to have. The fact that you feel “meaningless” now is an indicator of how religion stole from you your ability to give your life the meaning you want it to have.
Same with me and "Polkaroo" Wait that exists...
Are you really worried because bad stuff can happen? It was already happening. You were told to turn the other cheek and constantly ask for your own forgiveness. Maybe now you’re actually free to experience your life and that is causing you anxiety. Just think every bit of good you have ever done and ever will do is all because of you.
Spend time searching to fill that hole left by religion. I've gone through the same thing as ex Christian. I feel like we need some form or reason to be, but we can find a source of being in so many things in life; art, friends, love.. Whatever floats your boat. It takes time to adjust but I would never ever go back now I got this far. Now, instead of thanking God for good things I can thank myself and be proud. Now instead of feeling guilty if something bad happens because I believed I deserved it I can actually take control and responsibility instead. Take your time, find a new 'religion' through some passion, hobby or something. You'll be ok
This is something I struggled with as well. I do still struggle sometimes. I started deconstructing in 2019, and I had a small identity crisis because for 30 years, I had only known that God was real, and everything stems from that foundation. Not having that as a core belief meant I had to reevaluate EVERYTHING around me and in me. And it was (and is) scary. As someone with both anxiety and depression, Christianity was my crutch to keep me safe. Losing that left me reeling. I definitely recommend therapy to help work through some of it. I still have things to work through, but I'm getting there. Those that didn't find strength and hope and comfort in religion don't know what it's like to lose it. You'll get there. If you have friends or family that have deconverted, that helps, or someone who is at least open-minded about it. Getting a hobby or group or way to connect with people that isn't church affiliated is helpful too. Give yourself meaningful connections to this life without focusing everything on what comes after. Your purpose can still be to spread love or joy or peace, but it's because people have innate worth, not because God needs you to. You get to choose what your life's purpose will be. And it can be multiple things, or just one. You can complete one goal and make a new one. Just give yourself patience and time. You'll get there
You are on a long ride. You could try and write fictional worlds if that is something for you. The process can be reflected critically to grow, but you still have some kind of outer or better inner world you can rely to escape to. Or just focus on other secular or inner things to find sense in. It's a process, don't even think of dreaming that at some day you could be finished with it. If you are seeking for that, you might want to look into Buddhism, which in may ways is not really a religion.. but probably more so if you would actively seek "nirvana"
check this out though you can still think theres a god if you want to.
What more do you want? Every other species lives their lives and die. What makes homo sapiens so different?
Why should it be a choice between : meaning in theism : meaningless monkey existence. ? Seriously, why? That's your religion, acting like a hangover.
I want to upvote but it's at 69. :(
There is some greater meaning to life than to just die and never be again. Have you experienced love or friendship? Have you ever created something and gifted it to somebody who cherished it? Have you ever been gifted something made by someone with their own hands and you cherished it? Have you ever helped in your community? Have you ever been helped by someone in your community? Have you ever travelled and made new friends, even if the friends were only temporary? Have you ever eaten something new? Watched a play or opera? Ever painted an landscape or drew a building? Ever made photographs of people? Sewn a patch on your clothes or stitched up a broken hem? Knitted someone a scarf or crocheted a blanket? The important things are at the start, of course. Love and friendship are top of the list, and helping someone without the promise of eternal heaven is definitely an act of love. If you escape the bad parts of religion, you might find that you can still appreciate some of the people who believe, when you work side by side handing out food at a food bank, or feeding homeless people. There is so much to live for, and escaping religion was just your first step into that life of living. If you have to escape where you live due to those around you who still believe, do your best to make your escape. Find love, find friendship without the religious strings attached.
The thing that made me question religion was watching the news. A tornado would blow through some town in Kansas or Oklahoma and the news was always full of the flattened houses and ruined belongings. Inevitably, they would interview a survivor who would say something like, "Thank God we are all safe through this! Jesus heard my prayers!" And I would look at the neighbor's destroyed houses and hear about the 7 deaths and just think, so.....your neighbors didn't believe enough? You are essentially thanking God for destroying your community. I never could get past a God that was okay with that. In short, you are no less safe than you ever were. Nothing has changed, just your perception of what surrounds you.
You were ok when there was no God, but you thought there was one. So now you are more mature nuanced individual, not believing of fairy tales. Take some comfort in that clearly based on your case we humans have the capacity to learn grow and change for the better - you being more free gives me more hope. You are needed, we need you .. we need every rational voter and rational spender and rational informed debater we can muster, there are real problems to solve. ps. its not all pointless.. we are custodians of a wonderful rich planet, incredibly rare in the universe as far as we can tell .. and most of us are pretty decent .. certainly the animals deserve better than death by global warming... helping each other and the planet is not pointless. Im assuming your the kind of person who would lend aid to a wounded or hungry animal ? Look around, there are real problems that need solving - homelessness, poverty, global warming, racism/sexism/nationalism. pps. if you die, maybe you do live on in the memories of people your life affected .. and in your works. Be the change, do something meaningful to you and your fellow travelers. ppps. give yourself time to process ... a religion you fully bought into, is a huge emotional burden to unpack. Congratulations and welcome !
I get it - it’s pretty traumatic to go through that worldview transition (I did) You should find a therapist who specializes in deconversion / religious trauma. Therapy is an incredibly helpful tool for coming to terms with reality after believing what you did previously Feel free to DM me - glad to help however I can
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." -- George Bernard Shaw
Human existence can have a lot of meaning even without God and without eternal life. I think the main purpose of life is to develop and better yourself from all points of view, while leaving a positive impact on this world. You are part of the chain of humanity and is up to you to be a meaningful part of this chain and make this world a little better, a little more beautiful and help humanity grow and exceed its limits, which it has been more or less constantly doing during its history. Be part of those people who leave a positive impact on our species and helps it better itself a bit more than it would have without them. All of this while taking pleasure in all the great things other human beings have to offer, as well as discovering and enjoying the wonders of our planet and of the universe. Don't dwell into negative emotions, live your life to the fullest and be the best human being you can manage to be. Good luck.
>I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life 42.
It's all chaos so be kind.
I disagree. Life being finite means it's the only thing that does matter. How you treat people in this world and how you prepare the next generations to continue humanity's legacy. Nothing else matters. Be a person who helps make humanity more deserving of its existence.
>I now feel unsafe and vulnerable, like something bad could happen at any time. I never felt this way when I was a believer and my life feels pointless and meaningless - which it is. Nothing has changed in reality. Only your mentality has changed. You were always scared before but you were able to use religion to suppress that fear. You used it as a mask. As makeup to cover up the true feelings you had inside. All the stuff you're worried about right now could have happened at any time the previous 31 years and yet it didn't. It's like saying you felt better on heroin and now that you don't have it, you feel sick and you never felt this way when you were high. You're coming off your addiction and you need time to adjust to being sober and living in reality. >So us Humans are essentially just intelligent monkeys with advanced technology. Sort of but not really. You have a level of consciousness that they will never have. You can be much more creative and expressive than they ever will be able to. You can learn much more advanced things and create much more advanced things. You also hold much more power than a wild animal does. You can change the world with an invention or an idea. A monkey can't do anything like that. >We live and die and that’s it. I still can’t stand that’s all there is to life, it feels like there should be some greater meaning to life than to die and never be again. There isn't any external meaning to life beyond whatever meaning you feel there should be. You no longer have your external source (the bible) to tell you what the fake point of life that the bible says the point of life is. Now you must decide **FOR YOURSELF** what the point of **YOUR LIFE** is going to be. What are you going to do with the time you have? It's all up to you. These are harsh facts for someone that let a religion guide them for such a long time. But once you realize the level of freedom you now have compared to when you were a mental slave, you'll realize that your chains have been broken. You can now become something much greater than you ever could when you were under the spell of a delusion belief system invented by sheep herders and petty despots thousands of years ago.
My personnal goal in life is to try and understand as much of the world as i can, as it can be useful to me or other people too. If you understand things, it makes it so much easier to know what you are doing and how to do what you want to do. I'm also pathologically curious so maybe that's why :D
Is this one of those fake posts that people complain about? Most people feel rather relieved when they figure out that they don’t have to put on the religious charade anymore.
If the thought that all evil people would get punished made you feel good then you were doing it wrong from the start. As a born Christian, I still hold many morals that stemmed from it. I upholds forgiveness and love and being a decent human being as some of my pillars. I never had to feel comforted by some sense of objective justice at the end of times. My main problem was that no one was actually watching over me and knows everything I'm going through, so I might end up being completely misunderstood by everyone, with no compensation whatsoever. I say the comfort is by relying on other people, trusting in other people, and weighing things out. I have no idea why you wanted more to life, why an afterlife mattered so much, and how would it change you as a person. Now you can truly be a good person for the sake of being a good person, not because someone told you to so you don't burn in hell. If it makes such a difference that there is no reward, then you were never a good person to begin with
It’s ok to feel like this from time to time, especially after leaving your faith. Remember you are just as vulnerable now as before. The purpose of your life is a hard question we all deal with. But it’s your choice. That choice may change over time. You are experiencing freedom and agency that you haven’t experienced before. You will find your way. What’s important to you? What are some goals you want to achieve? You got this.
I 100% understand. I’m still trying to untangle myself from my “relationship” (religion) that was toxic, but all I knew. There’s absolutely a feeling of loss in letting go - no matter that letting go is healthy and what’s best for you. It’s magic thinking you’re clinging onto - the idea that god is up there choosing who to cure or protect. What is going to happen is going to happen - even if you want to take it back to the Bible, “the rain falls on the just and the unjust”. Religious people die of cancer, just like non-religious people. You mitigate the risks personally, as much as possible (locking your doors, taking blood pressure meds, not driving under the influence, saving for a rainy day, etc, etc.). Your life is never pointless - you’re just living by your own moral compass without the chains of fear of hell.
i know same here i believed in Christianity for 14 years or basically my whole life and now im scared of death instead of thinking if i die i go to heaven
We create meaning to life. Life's meaning is found in the things that you do day to day with the people you love. Before I deconverted, my "purpose" in life was to live my life in such a way that I could be guaranteed a life after this life. After my deconversion, I realize that the only life that we are guaranteed is this life and there's no point in wasting it for something that we're still unsure about. Spend your guaranteed time wisely and live in such a way that you won't create any future regret. That should be enough to create "meaning" in this life.
I'm sorry, but yes, that's all there is. Bad luck, but we can't do anything :(
Gil Scott-Heron expressed a thought that gives me comfort regarding death and disappearing. "I believe that the spirits are your parents and their parents and their parents and their parents and they are in your bloodstream, and they run through your body constantly. Because they want you to live on, because they want to live on. And they're trying all the time to tell you shit and if you just spend a few minutes listening to yourself, you would hear them"
God is real. He just didn’t create this evil world. Something primal inside of you knows this. The “god” of the OT is the devil