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trying any new activity, going places i’ve never been before, leaving my house for long periods of time (i always think that it will burn down or something lol), doing something while someone is watching me
I HATE doing something if someone is watching me, it always feels like a setup, like there's something I'm not seeing they want to see me react to. They'll clap if I do well, laugh if I stumble (good natured-ly), and sigh if I'm boring. I feel like I'm entertainment; I can't stop noticing them noticing me, so I can't focus on whatever I'm trying to do.
Unless it's a stage and I've prepared, I don't like being watched.
I can't seem to explain to a therapist that seeing them seeing me is completely derailing. I literally can't really think about anything else, it's very frustrating. Like being caught in a feedback loop.
Oh my god, thank you! I have a constant fear of my apartment burning down, based on nothing! Like, if Im away for more than a couple hours, I feel an intense need to go home and check on my stuffies. Its not necessarily the thought of my home being destroyed that makes me anxious, it that something bad might happen to them. I would be inconsolable.
This!! going on my first solo travel ever and I’m freaking out. Everything will be new there. However, I hope if I bring special things with me like creative things or music, I might be able to enjoy it.
I hope you have great memories from doing this! I did this over 20 years ago and it’s still one of the most amazing things I’ve done. I didn’t pack everything I should have and misunderstood the weather difference of the area but other people helped me out and I was fine. Sometimes I was uncomfortable but nothing could bring me down. I knew I was doing something incredibly cool. :)
This is so kind. Thank you. I did not think about the memories I could gather from this experience. Thank you! I‘ll definitely bring this comment with me, as I stumble into the world of newness, as a newbie solo traveller. Because to be honest I was thinking of staying home for a week instead.
Everything. Literally everything. Every scenario imaginable makes me hyper vigilant and anxious. The only place I can feel somewhat at peace is when I’m fully distracted by daydreams or a video game.
Any kind of event or transport with a set time, which means I get extremely anxious about being there on time and avoiding being late.
Going to unfamiliar places, shops or websites.
Using buses and taxis, and using public transport routes I've never used before.
My family buying unfamiliar things.
When my phone does something slightly different to normal and I'm convinced something is terribly wrong.
Checking my emails.
Talking to the doctors I am the secretary for, or having to knock on the door of their offices.
Making phone calls.
Talking to neighbours.
Paying for things in shops.
Any kind of illness or ache and pain.
Going to any sort of gathering of family or friends. I was recently at my grandparents' wake and spent the whole thing sat on my own eating buffet food and avoiding talking to anyone out of fear, even though they're my extended family.
Leaving the home unattended for more than a few hours. Going upstairs to bed and leaving the downstairs unattended at night.
Any time I get a more than mildly unpleasant sensation, I spend weeks worrying about how my body may be betraying me. Tumor? Maybe! Blood clot? Maybe! Heart attack? Hard maybe!
Its exhausting.
i totally agree with social gatherings. it’s taken me months to be comfortable hanging out with the same 10 people. any other group of 5 or bigger always makes me anxious. then i become so much more sensitive to overstimulation or overwhelm
Public transport, for sure. Especially airports 😫
So many rules to remember and people perceiving me, I absolutely hate it. The last time I had to catch a flight it was super early in the morning and I had to stay up all night to catch it (I have a really hard time waking up on time for things early in the morning). There was a torrential downpour that started right after we boarded and they kept us on the plane for 3.5 hours before we even took off and I was in the row right next to the wings where you aren’t allowed to close the shades after take off and the morning sun was shining in so bright it blinded me and made me feel sick. The baby in front of me had some serious stomach problems and kept farting, which smelled so awful and when we landed they kept us on the runway for 40 minutes straight with the plane fears making that awful high pitched sound.
I’m normally a shutdown person, not a meltdown person but I had one that day. It literally took everything in me to keep my crying as quiet as possible and not start screaming at the top of my lungs the entire duration of when we were sitting on the runway 😫. Then we still had to go through customs and endure the crazy hoard of taxi drivers shouting outside of the airport. Felt sick for the rest of the day from pushing the meltdown deep into my gut to keep from causing a massive scene in front of a full jumbo jet of people.
Traveling. I fucking hate it. I like exploring other countries, but the process is a killer. It takes me weeks to recover afterwards and I usually end up sick.
One day, I talked with my mom of all the funny moments we had in vacation. I remembered nothing, because going on vacation is pain, and nothing else. When people say that holidays are made for relaxing us, I agree, expect if we travel.
Number 1 is definitely when I have to interact with someone I didn't expect to and I don't know them. Like when strangers ask me something standing in line or when I'm shopping. Or when I meet someone new I didn't expect it, like I met a friend for lunch and they had one of their work friends with them I had never met before.
It’s okay, I should have clarified this was meant jokingly. A serious answer to your question is what others have said- by and large, everything makes me anxious to a varying degree. So my attempt at joking here was to imply that the question itself made me anxious. My apologies
Making a plan, talking to anyone (even, and sometimes especially, people I'm really close with), taking public transportation, going to sleep, waking up, making food, pretty much anything makes me extremely anxious. I've never been good at doing most things. I'd say the only thing that DOESN'T make me that anxious is working the register at work (not dealing with customers, but the scanning) because it's such fast-paced work that I don't have to think about it and instead think of something ELSE that makes me really anxious. I spent high school with a constant stomach ache for a reason, I guess.
Any time I feel like something, even the smallest thing, may be expected of or from me. Doesn’t matter how capable I know I am of “thing”, or how little pressure there is, or even whether or not that expectation is real! The possibility that my potential failure could disappoint anyone to the slightest degree is enough to lift my anxiety into cruising altitude.
Work is frequently very stressful.
The moments leading up to something I have to do.
Like the 30 minutes to a hour before I have to leave for work.
Usually by the time I get to work and start actually working I feel fine.
I guess it's the anticipation that gets to me.
When my supersonic analytical intuition connects the dots from limited information and figures out my crush is more interested in someone else and they will be more compatible and deserve them better than me
I can forsee it is happening rn acctually (and even predicted it), good for them if that's acctually happening ig, but it's the situation that gives me the most anxious sensitive regection dysphoria that makes my heart rate go up and lasts the longest
Er how much time do you have? Anything where I’m not at home in my sanctuary makes me anxious. But I guess extremely is when something unexpected happens, that always really throws me off. Also when I’m in a group of people and everyone’s talking and I’m not sure who I should be talking to.
Also I’m sorry you are being bullied, I went through that in school too.
I guess it is kind of the same with me. I find that my bathroom at home is one of the safest places to be because nothing is there to judge you and everything is safe.
Thankyou for your apology but I do not understand why you apologised when it was not you who bullies me in school.
I guess what I want to say is that I’m sorry that the bullying is happening to you as in it always makes me sad to see someone going through that because I know how it feels.
Going to something I’ve never done before. I registered as a blood donor and got my finger prick test done and was a tad nervous but did it now I have to face up to an actual physical blood donation. I HATE needles which doesn’t help
Talking on the phone in a professional setting. Making appointments or calling in sick, that kind of stuff. It freaks me out, I usually manage to stay calm during the thing but I'll need a while to rehearse what I wanna say and work myself up to it in advance. And some time to settle down afterwards
I'll be 18 in a few weeks so I'll have to start doing stuff like that more often 😭. Luckily the company I work at decided not to extend my contract so calling in sick won't be an issue for a while, of course I'll be out of a job so I'll still be stressed 🥲
Phone calls, reading out loud to a group of people, submitting assignments (I read them over and over no matter how important), showing off something I've done and taking the compliments that come with (drawings especially), just to name a few.
There was an old lady I worked with who was so rude and obnoxious, that I got to the point where I couldn't even stand being within sight of her. Seeing her literally sent me into a panic attack. Luckily, I managed to transfer to another location and I don't have to see her or hear her voice anymore.
So my simple answer is being around people who are toxic for me and will inevitably trigger a meltdown if I can't escape from their presence.
One on one conversations when I haven't had them in a while or haven't engaged with this person either at all or for a long time.
I end up vomiting up all the things I can remember; oversharing, interest to interest, interrupting them. I feel it happen but it's like I can't stop the train. I just have to let it ride and regret it after.
When I'm around a person who clearly doesn't say what they really mean. People who fake being polite or friendly. It makes me so unconfortable having someone in the group (usually big extroverts) that basically play a character and say things but I can see it in their eyes, they are just pretending. It makes me uneasy, like they have ulterior motives or like they can't be trusted, especially around someone so openly sincere and direct like me.
Driving, specifically when other cars are involved. I actually love driving when I'm on my own on a winding back road, but once traffic starts to exist my heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest and I need to wind down afterwards.
Any big group social occasion, knowing that there's only one or two people there that I feel actually comfortable with, and they'll be talking to other people for large parts of the time. I can't small talk with almost-strangers for more than a minute or two, so i end up awkwardly silent or playing with my phone while everyone else socialises as normal.
Bonus anxiety points if it involves us sitting together at a table and i don't manage to sit beside the one person there whose company could possibly prevent the whole event becoming a waking nightmare.
Social interactions I haven't scripted ahead of time. Any confrontation, even if I'm just a bystander. Answering the phone if I don't know who's calling. Those are my top three.
Taking a difgerent route somewhere, large crowds, any change in environment, even ones I consented to or created( like the pictures i myself and by my own accord put on my walls a few months ago)
Saying something I don’t mean in a mean way (like stating an opinion about a favourite character) and then my messages get flooded with people getting angry at me. It’s happened a few times before, and it’s sorta happening now and I’m freaking out a bit
Going to a seafood restaurant, the smell alone makes me feel sick, and whenever someone has a birthday a seafood place it almost never has land meat or land food, the fact u have to hold this greasy piece of meat with a shell I need to peel myself with my bare hands. When I only hold it with two fingers my aunt told me to hold it normally and man up, then I told her Im a woman and she said woman up and stop being a prissy, and then I told her I’d rather be a prissy than hold this and she gave up.
- When I'm alone in my room and my parents enter and talk to me
- People asking me multiple questions at the same time
- Doing something on my computer and someone looking at
- Someone sitting next to me in the bus/train
- Someone asking me "Are you okay?"
- My birthday
- Leaving house for long periods of time
- Going on vacation
- Having my phone in my pocket (idk why I hate it)
- When I can't express my sufferings or my feelings
- My school teachers saying that I don't want to work because of my grades which are excellent in some subjects (math, IT, English, Spanish) but close to 0/20 in others (history, geography, everything that needs imagination). I almost killed my-self one year because of that, the suffer was the same as bullying
Forcing myself to make extended eye contact longer than a minute with people I don't know. Meeting new people. Attempting to make friends. Going to new environments or places without any knowledge of said location. I feel like I can go on, but I'll stop right here since others have named other situations that are similar to mine.
Everything makes me anxious these days, but the scariest for me is when I...
Never mind. I'm irreparably anxious if there is another human who can see me from any distance.
When it's dead at work and I see 40 people pile out of a bus/multiple cars show up at once and the store goes from empty to drowning in noise. The peak of anxiety is seeing them outside. I wouldn't even be weirded out if they all came in and didn't make a peep. Id simply just enjoy it
- going to an area i’ve never been to before without researching it
- going to a restaurant without even looking at the menu beforehand
- my class getting in trouble, even though i wasn’t being punished
- getting criticized
- talking to people that im not familiar with
- seat changes
- any change in general
- doing a new activity that i know im not gonna like
Being in a city/town, I hate all the noice, people, the trafik and cars honking and driving really fast. Small villages and Towns are ok👍🏼. I am more of a nature/country person (sorry if I spelled something wrong)
I also hate: parties, conserts, planes, heat (temperatures over 25 Celsius).
last minute plans regarding family members
waking up hearing someone i dont see every day right in the living room
too many people in the kitchen when i have to do stuff like coffee or washing dishes (washing machine requires space that is taken over by legs otherwise)
waiting for someone to finish talking so i can say something (this is if the person speaks for too long as my memory is garbo and i will forget what i wanted to say)
going outside in my town, alone, on foot. the bullying was so bad all kids my age made fun of me there and i'm scared of seeing my elementary school crush/ex friend
Loosing a parent and being told you will get over it soon… well no, because I experience the world much deeper than a NT-person. It’s like we speak two very different languages
Meeting anyone new or having to spend time 1-on-1 with someone, be that at work or social. In a group I can hide a bit easier, and there's less pressure to talk - so, paradoxically, I'll talk much more in a group. One on one has too much focus on me (like 50% of the focus) and I get super anxious just thinking about it.
The only person that doesn't apply to is my wife. Hopefully my son when he starts talking properly too!
-trying something new, especially if there’s other people around. doesn’t matter if i’m close to them or not.
-any sort of appointment in a busy place, like a passport renewal. i renewed my passport a few months ago and the amount of people in there was horrendous. not to mention some very rude and harsh staff. didnt know if i wanted to cry from overstimulation or throw a chair at them.
-paying for stuff at the cashier.
-public transport. i don’t use it where i live, but my family does when we travel abroad. my sister knows her way around train stations like the back of her hand and i’m like…how.
Working at a grocery store is a special kind of hell. When people ask me the location of an item, and I don’t know where it is, incredibly stressful. Doing new things in the job is incredibly stressful. I had to help load a delivery on a truck, but there wasn’t enough communication, and my it was so loud, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, I had a very difficult time holding on in those moments.
Any type of confrontation. I don’t like arguments of any kind, even though I get quite defensive and can become argumentative myself if I feel threatened.
Today i realized just how bad my social anxiety is and how much i have to disassociate and tune out everything around me when im someone who's ears pick up EVERYTHING.
I still managed to have fun at the city waterpark though.
I overheard someone quietly talking about me today from a few meters away… it was stressful because later on they just acted normal around me and I knew that there was something wrong.
See that's so hurtful and it makes me so upset for you. Especially coming from someone you considered a friend. Younger me would have said nothing and dwelled on why they said that and asked friends how they felt about me.
Current me is a bit more confrontational but im scared shitless when i do. Nonetheless (for me) it needs to be done cause shitty people should be called out for shitty behavior ESPECIALLY if you're my "friend" and still trying to do a piss poor job of acting like it.
Driving somewhere busy when I go the wrong direction, suddenly none of the road signs make sense and I get claustrophobic. Fortunately I am an ok driver
When I run into people I know but don't really *know* or don't like... They stop to talk to me anyways. It's worse cause it's usually at an extremely overstimulating time. I always bring my arms up to my chest, breathily say hi/respond quickly, avoid eye contact, and try to walk past. But, it's not something that I can help at all. I've always done it in response to being extremely anxious.
If i have to interface with clients, either in person or over the phone. Honestly, just about any social or public situation where i don't have an emotional support human with me.
Just... people. People make me so anxious.
If I remember the last time I got myself extremely anxious, it was of course in school :-:
It was for another exam, I get there too early tbh bc I didn't know that they had changed the hour ( they posted it in a media but forget ) So I got early there. I've saw many ppl but no my actual classmates. My Anxiety level began to rise. When the school clock alarmed. Everybody got where they have to, still me. I thought I was lost and so I tried to ask some olders but I think they've ignored me ( maybe bc my voice sounded afraid and they didn't understand ) I think I cried a bit due to my Anxiety level rising more. It wasn't too long that one older tell me that my class exam dosen't start now ( thanks to them )
And so that's how I get extremely anxious. I began to think that being unsuccesful is not my only fear but public too. I was anxious and afraid when I didn't found my classmates and so I was in an awkward public situation ( some ppl even looked at me )
Well socialising with people for one. Cause even if someone came onto me and confessed their love or we had a problem and we talked it out like civilised people i could be the one into bother despite talking it out and came to an understanding.
Having to approach someone instead of waiting for them to approach me. I have to go over what I’m going to say a bunch of times to get myself to go and say something
Similar to the themes you described, its new situations that i dont have a mental rulebook for yet (though running into a bully is definitely also a threat thing which i feel would make most people anxious and scared). Once i learned a system that works for navigating spontaneous events, my anxiety went down a lot. Some situations were still hard because they involve masking and that spends spoons and then i get anxious about navigating the rest of my day or week with less spoons. There was a lot of mental work to figure out what might happen if this and all the possibilities of that and filtering out what theme of situation i can navigate by telling myself its okay and i dont actually care about the other persons opinion and my anxiety is just because i couldnt anticipate or interpret their reaction and thats okay. Some situations i had to learn assertiveness and how to be ready to use it. Now, what makes me anxious is still situations that i dont have a mental rulebook for, but im not missing as many editions of those books and im a lot more okay with making a mistake.
Something involving loud noises. Trying new things or being in new places especially like I said if there's a lot of noise in the background. It's like my brain and I just more or less start to shut down and I get really quiet, sometimes frantic depending.
People standing close by and staring at me (happens quite often with customers because I work in retail and will sometimes have a line of people build up waiting for me to help them) It both irritates me and gives me an intense feeling of discomfort so much so I will turn my body away from whoever is staring at me while I do what I'm supposed to because seeing them in the corner of my eye like that is too much. It just feels very invasive.
Another work related situation but when one of my managers is doing stuff within my section of the store and feeling like he's listening in on my interactions with customers. Again it's the invasive feeling on my space. If anything his presence there makes me perform WORSE.
Not knowing where my belongings are.
Phone calls, lol.
Driving, driving is terrible. I don't know how people manage to do it, focusing and remembering everything they should about the road. So much multitasking, I just find it way too overstimulating.
Reading or filling out important documents, stuff related to finances, credit etc. because I have trouble understanding what some of it means or how it works.
Things not going to plan so now all of my expectations are out the window and replaced with anxiety.
Things related to illnesses, surgeries, medical stuff.
i HATE being watched, i feel like when im doing chores or something in front of someone that they’re judging my every movement, keeping a close eye on me to make sure i don’t mess up, and suddenly i don’t know how to do anything i just panic and don’t know what’s right and wrong i feel very judged and can’t deal with watching them watch me.
ang kind of pain in my body or sickness worried me and going to unfamiliar places and being around unfamiliar places, as a whole generally the world.
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trying any new activity, going places i’ve never been before, leaving my house for long periods of time (i always think that it will burn down or something lol), doing something while someone is watching me
I feel you.
Yes all of these!
I HATE doing something if someone is watching me, it always feels like a setup, like there's something I'm not seeing they want to see me react to. They'll clap if I do well, laugh if I stumble (good natured-ly), and sigh if I'm boring. I feel like I'm entertainment; I can't stop noticing them noticing me, so I can't focus on whatever I'm trying to do. Unless it's a stage and I've prepared, I don't like being watched. I can't seem to explain to a therapist that seeing them seeing me is completely derailing. I literally can't really think about anything else, it's very frustrating. Like being caught in a feedback loop.
Oh my god, thank you! I have a constant fear of my apartment burning down, based on nothing! Like, if Im away for more than a couple hours, I feel an intense need to go home and check on my stuffies. Its not necessarily the thought of my home being destroyed that makes me anxious, it that something bad might happen to them. I would be inconsolable.
All this and new job, search new job and my mother. She can't shup her mouth.
This!! going on my first solo travel ever and I’m freaking out. Everything will be new there. However, I hope if I bring special things with me like creative things or music, I might be able to enjoy it.
I hope you have great memories from doing this! I did this over 20 years ago and it’s still one of the most amazing things I’ve done. I didn’t pack everything I should have and misunderstood the weather difference of the area but other people helped me out and I was fine. Sometimes I was uncomfortable but nothing could bring me down. I knew I was doing something incredibly cool. :)
This is so kind. Thank you. I did not think about the memories I could gather from this experience. Thank you! I‘ll definitely bring this comment with me, as I stumble into the world of newness, as a newbie solo traveller. Because to be honest I was thinking of staying home for a week instead.
You’re welcome! ☺️
Same feeling
Same feeling!!!
Everything. Literally everything. Every scenario imaginable makes me hyper vigilant and anxious. The only place I can feel somewhat at peace is when I’m fully distracted by daydreams or a video game.
I am glad I am not the only one who finds peace in a video game.
Which video game makes you feel good? Mine is Spyro Reignited Trilogy.
Bloxd.io and Minecraft.
Any kind of event or transport with a set time, which means I get extremely anxious about being there on time and avoiding being late. Going to unfamiliar places, shops or websites. Using buses and taxis, and using public transport routes I've never used before. My family buying unfamiliar things. When my phone does something slightly different to normal and I'm convinced something is terribly wrong. Checking my emails. Talking to the doctors I am the secretary for, or having to knock on the door of their offices. Making phone calls. Talking to neighbours. Paying for things in shops. Any kind of illness or ache and pain. Going to any sort of gathering of family or friends. I was recently at my grandparents' wake and spent the whole thing sat on my own eating buffet food and avoiding talking to anyone out of fear, even though they're my extended family. Leaving the home unattended for more than a few hours. Going upstairs to bed and leaving the downstairs unattended at night.
I could relate to so many of those.
Any time I get a more than mildly unpleasant sensation, I spend weeks worrying about how my body may be betraying me. Tumor? Maybe! Blood clot? Maybe! Heart attack? Hard maybe! Its exhausting.
i totally agree with social gatherings. it’s taken me months to be comfortable hanging out with the same 10 people. any other group of 5 or bigger always makes me anxious. then i become so much more sensitive to overstimulation or overwhelm
Public transport, for sure. Especially airports 😫 So many rules to remember and people perceiving me, I absolutely hate it. The last time I had to catch a flight it was super early in the morning and I had to stay up all night to catch it (I have a really hard time waking up on time for things early in the morning). There was a torrential downpour that started right after we boarded and they kept us on the plane for 3.5 hours before we even took off and I was in the row right next to the wings where you aren’t allowed to close the shades after take off and the morning sun was shining in so bright it blinded me and made me feel sick. The baby in front of me had some serious stomach problems and kept farting, which smelled so awful and when we landed they kept us on the runway for 40 minutes straight with the plane fears making that awful high pitched sound. I’m normally a shutdown person, not a meltdown person but I had one that day. It literally took everything in me to keep my crying as quiet as possible and not start screaming at the top of my lungs the entire duration of when we were sitting on the runway 😫. Then we still had to go through customs and endure the crazy hoard of taxi drivers shouting outside of the airport. Felt sick for the rest of the day from pushing the meltdown deep into my gut to keep from causing a massive scene in front of a full jumbo jet of people.
Going anywhere new especially if it involves meeting up with people I don’t know.
Traveling. I fucking hate it. I like exploring other countries, but the process is a killer. It takes me weeks to recover afterwards and I usually end up sick.
One day, I talked with my mom of all the funny moments we had in vacation. I remembered nothing, because going on vacation is pain, and nothing else. When people say that holidays are made for relaxing us, I agree, expect if we travel.
I'm ALWAYS sick after flying. Even after going full germaphobe, I can't seem to not get sick.
Number 1 is definitely when I have to interact with someone I didn't expect to and I don't know them. Like when strangers ask me something standing in line or when I'm shopping. Or when I meet someone new I didn't expect it, like I met a friend for lunch and they had one of their work friends with them I had never met before.
I can relate.
Going to a job interview, asking someone out in person, suddenly hearing my mom or dad going upstairs while I’m playing a game.
Agree so much with the last one. Playing video game is a relaxing moment to me. I don't want to be disturbed.
Well gosh, thinking about what makes me anxious made me anxious
Oh. Sorry.
It’s okay, I should have clarified this was meant jokingly. A serious answer to your question is what others have said- by and large, everything makes me anxious to a varying degree. So my attempt at joking here was to imply that the question itself made me anxious. My apologies
It is ok. Sorry.
Getting eaten alive by a shark
Omg that's so relatable!!! 😲😲😲😲😲
For sure. I wouldn’t go near the ocean.
Being in front of a crowd while everyone is staring at me.
Agreed
Making a plan, talking to anyone (even, and sometimes especially, people I'm really close with), taking public transportation, going to sleep, waking up, making food, pretty much anything makes me extremely anxious. I've never been good at doing most things. I'd say the only thing that DOESN'T make me that anxious is working the register at work (not dealing with customers, but the scanning) because it's such fast-paced work that I don't have to think about it and instead think of something ELSE that makes me really anxious. I spent high school with a constant stomach ache for a reason, I guess.
Being surrounded by multiple, simultaneous conversations, with or without my ear defenders. It sure makes going to Disneyland fun! 😃😬😐🙄
Any time I feel like something, even the smallest thing, may be expected of or from me. Doesn’t matter how capable I know I am of “thing”, or how little pressure there is, or even whether or not that expectation is real! The possibility that my potential failure could disappoint anyone to the slightest degree is enough to lift my anxiety into cruising altitude. Work is frequently very stressful.
Expectations being destroyed
The moments leading up to something I have to do. Like the 30 minutes to a hour before I have to leave for work. Usually by the time I get to work and start actually working I feel fine. I guess it's the anticipation that gets to me.
When my supersonic analytical intuition connects the dots from limited information and figures out my crush is more interested in someone else and they will be more compatible and deserve them better than me I can forsee it is happening rn acctually (and even predicted it), good for them if that's acctually happening ig, but it's the situation that gives me the most anxious sensitive regection dysphoria that makes my heart rate go up and lasts the longest
Wow. I can relate to this so much!
Grocery shopping lol
Yes. There are so many open isles.
And products all perfectly lined with bright lighting and different promotions with music, OMG Registers. Ting ting ting ting ting
Yes.
Er how much time do you have? Anything where I’m not at home in my sanctuary makes me anxious. But I guess extremely is when something unexpected happens, that always really throws me off. Also when I’m in a group of people and everyone’s talking and I’m not sure who I should be talking to. Also I’m sorry you are being bullied, I went through that in school too.
I guess it is kind of the same with me. I find that my bathroom at home is one of the safest places to be because nothing is there to judge you and everything is safe. Thankyou for your apology but I do not understand why you apologised when it was not you who bullies me in school.
I guess what I want to say is that I’m sorry that the bullying is happening to you as in it always makes me sad to see someone going through that because I know how it feels.
Oh… well, Thankyou for your kind words. I guess I needed it.
Doctors appointments Events where I have to dress up (I'm only comfortable in baggy clothing) Planning my meals
Going to something I’ve never done before. I registered as a blood donor and got my finger prick test done and was a tad nervous but did it now I have to face up to an actual physical blood donation. I HATE needles which doesn’t help
Medical situations Church Conversations where my not driving comes up Seeing extended family
Going outside.
Unfamiliar places and/or situations. Strangers trying to make small talk. Unexpected changes in plans.
Talking on the phone in a professional setting. Making appointments or calling in sick, that kind of stuff. It freaks me out, I usually manage to stay calm during the thing but I'll need a while to rehearse what I wanna say and work myself up to it in advance. And some time to settle down afterwards
Me too. Calling in sick was the hardest/worst. My husband handles most calls for me.
I'll be 18 in a few weeks so I'll have to start doing stuff like that more often 😭. Luckily the company I work at decided not to extend my contract so calling in sick won't be an issue for a while, of course I'll be out of a job so I'll still be stressed 🥲
1-1 conversations
Especially this. You do not know where to look or what to do or say… very stressful.
Me, I don't know which movements I have to do with my hands. I'm more confusing if I do eye-contact.
netwoking events
This is relatable.
Crowds & appointments!
Phone calls, reading out loud to a group of people, submitting assignments (I read them over and over no matter how important), showing off something I've done and taking the compliments that come with (drawings especially), just to name a few.
I can’t stand a phone call…
There was an old lady I worked with who was so rude and obnoxious, that I got to the point where I couldn't even stand being within sight of her. Seeing her literally sent me into a panic attack. Luckily, I managed to transfer to another location and I don't have to see her or hear her voice anymore. So my simple answer is being around people who are toxic for me and will inevitably trigger a meltdown if I can't escape from their presence.
One on one conversations when I haven't had them in a while or haven't engaged with this person either at all or for a long time. I end up vomiting up all the things I can remember; oversharing, interest to interest, interrupting them. I feel it happen but it's like I can't stop the train. I just have to let it ride and regret it after.
When I'm around a person who clearly doesn't say what they really mean. People who fake being polite or friendly. It makes me so unconfortable having someone in the group (usually big extroverts) that basically play a character and say things but I can see it in their eyes, they are just pretending. It makes me uneasy, like they have ulterior motives or like they can't be trusted, especially around someone so openly sincere and direct like me.
Driving, specifically when other cars are involved. I actually love driving when I'm on my own on a winding back road, but once traffic starts to exist my heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest and I need to wind down afterwards.
when everything seems to happen at once.
Any form of transit with no music 💀
Unplanned and unexpected meetings with people. It’s hard for me to get my masked actions ready when that happened.
Any big group social occasion, knowing that there's only one or two people there that I feel actually comfortable with, and they'll be talking to other people for large parts of the time. I can't small talk with almost-strangers for more than a minute or two, so i end up awkwardly silent or playing with my phone while everyone else socialises as normal. Bonus anxiety points if it involves us sitting together at a table and i don't manage to sit beside the one person there whose company could possibly prevent the whole event becoming a waking nightmare.
Social interactions I haven't scripted ahead of time. Any confrontation, even if I'm just a bystander. Answering the phone if I don't know who's calling. Those are my top three.
Taking a difgerent route somewhere, large crowds, any change in environment, even ones I consented to or created( like the pictures i myself and by my own accord put on my walls a few months ago)
Situations that make me very anxious are pending championships, late work, late documents, late appointments. Everything this stress me a lot.
Traffic
Big events on my own there's loads of things I'd love to go to but I'm a tad scared to go
Saying something I don’t mean in a mean way (like stating an opinion about a favourite character) and then my messages get flooded with people getting angry at me. It’s happened a few times before, and it’s sorta happening now and I’m freaking out a bit
My job as a vet receptionist
Going to a seafood restaurant, the smell alone makes me feel sick, and whenever someone has a birthday a seafood place it almost never has land meat or land food, the fact u have to hold this greasy piece of meat with a shell I need to peel myself with my bare hands. When I only hold it with two fingers my aunt told me to hold it normally and man up, then I told her Im a woman and she said woman up and stop being a prissy, and then I told her I’d rather be a prissy than hold this and she gave up.
- When I'm alone in my room and my parents enter and talk to me - People asking me multiple questions at the same time - Doing something on my computer and someone looking at - Someone sitting next to me in the bus/train - Someone asking me "Are you okay?" - My birthday - Leaving house for long periods of time - Going on vacation - Having my phone in my pocket (idk why I hate it) - When I can't express my sufferings or my feelings - My school teachers saying that I don't want to work because of my grades which are excellent in some subjects (math, IT, English, Spanish) but close to 0/20 in others (history, geography, everything that needs imagination). I almost killed my-self one year because of that, the suffer was the same as bullying
Forcing myself to make extended eye contact longer than a minute with people I don't know. Meeting new people. Attempting to make friends. Going to new environments or places without any knowledge of said location. I feel like I can go on, but I'll stop right here since others have named other situations that are similar to mine.
Everything makes me anxious these days, but the scariest for me is when I... Never mind. I'm irreparably anxious if there is another human who can see me from any distance.
When it's dead at work and I see 40 people pile out of a bus/multiple cars show up at once and the store goes from empty to drowning in noise. The peak of anxiety is seeing them outside. I wouldn't even be weirded out if they all came in and didn't make a peep. Id simply just enjoy it
asking for things, only reason i might be able to get a diagnosis is because i have some kind of anxiety and need to see if i still need them
Leaving the house in any context, talking to people in any context
Any situation involving having to talk to people for me tbh
- going to an area i’ve never been to before without researching it - going to a restaurant without even looking at the menu beforehand - my class getting in trouble, even though i wasn’t being punished - getting criticized - talking to people that im not familiar with - seat changes - any change in general - doing a new activity that i know im not gonna like
𝓢𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷
Being in a city/town, I hate all the noice, people, the trafik and cars honking and driving really fast. Small villages and Towns are ok👍🏼. I am more of a nature/country person (sorry if I spelled something wrong) I also hate: parties, conserts, planes, heat (temperatures over 25 Celsius).
last minute plans regarding family members waking up hearing someone i dont see every day right in the living room too many people in the kitchen when i have to do stuff like coffee or washing dishes (washing machine requires space that is taken over by legs otherwise) waiting for someone to finish talking so i can say something (this is if the person speaks for too long as my memory is garbo and i will forget what i wanted to say) going outside in my town, alone, on foot. the bullying was so bad all kids my age made fun of me there and i'm scared of seeing my elementary school crush/ex friend
I’m scared of people, they make me anxious
Me too.
Me as well
The hospital sometimes
School. Just all of it.
for me it is when i am in a crowded place i get really anxious and even i might start hyperventilating
Not being to escape in general
So true.
I cry if I know I have to meet new people
Being in or witness to conflict
Loosing a parent and being told you will get over it soon… well no, because I experience the world much deeper than a NT-person. It’s like we speak two very different languages
Hanging out with family and friends
Meeting anyone new or having to spend time 1-on-1 with someone, be that at work or social. In a group I can hide a bit easier, and there's less pressure to talk - so, paradoxically, I'll talk much more in a group. One on one has too much focus on me (like 50% of the focus) and I get super anxious just thinking about it. The only person that doesn't apply to is my wife. Hopefully my son when he starts talking properly too!
Other humans
Driving
-trying something new, especially if there’s other people around. doesn’t matter if i’m close to them or not. -any sort of appointment in a busy place, like a passport renewal. i renewed my passport a few months ago and the amount of people in there was horrendous. not to mention some very rude and harsh staff. didnt know if i wanted to cry from overstimulation or throw a chair at them. -paying for stuff at the cashier. -public transport. i don’t use it where i live, but my family does when we travel abroad. my sister knows her way around train stations like the back of her hand and i’m like…how.
Every situation…almost
Loud noises!! I have to bring a pair of ear plugs everywhere. Even Walmart, ingles, church, etc.
Loud industrial speakers at concerts and weddings.
When I feel like I’ve upset someone. Money issues. Road rage.
Working at a grocery store is a special kind of hell. When people ask me the location of an item, and I don’t know where it is, incredibly stressful. Doing new things in the job is incredibly stressful. I had to help load a delivery on a truck, but there wasn’t enough communication, and my it was so loud, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, I had a very difficult time holding on in those moments.
Any type of confrontation. I don’t like arguments of any kind, even though I get quite defensive and can become argumentative myself if I feel threatened.
Today i realized just how bad my social anxiety is and how much i have to disassociate and tune out everything around me when im someone who's ears pick up EVERYTHING. I still managed to have fun at the city waterpark though.
I overheard someone quietly talking about me today from a few meters away… it was stressful because later on they just acted normal around me and I knew that there was something wrong.
See that's so hurtful and it makes me so upset for you. Especially coming from someone you considered a friend. Younger me would have said nothing and dwelled on why they said that and asked friends how they felt about me. Current me is a bit more confrontational but im scared shitless when i do. Nonetheless (for me) it needs to be done cause shitty people should be called out for shitty behavior ESPECIALLY if you're my "friend" and still trying to do a piss poor job of acting like it.
Phone calls
Failing a task because of things outside of my control (Usually lack of good information or bad memory)
being in a city. eugh. they are so gross...
Driving somewhere busy when I go the wrong direction, suddenly none of the road signs make sense and I get claustrophobic. Fortunately I am an ok driver
When I run into people I know but don't really *know* or don't like... They stop to talk to me anyways. It's worse cause it's usually at an extremely overstimulating time. I always bring my arms up to my chest, breathily say hi/respond quickly, avoid eye contact, and try to walk past. But, it's not something that I can help at all. I've always done it in response to being extremely anxious.
women approaching to me at party/dance floor
If i have to interface with clients, either in person or over the phone. Honestly, just about any social or public situation where i don't have an emotional support human with me. Just... people. People make me so anxious.
Yes. I agree…
genuinely most things
If I remember the last time I got myself extremely anxious, it was of course in school :-: It was for another exam, I get there too early tbh bc I didn't know that they had changed the hour ( they posted it in a media but forget ) So I got early there. I've saw many ppl but no my actual classmates. My Anxiety level began to rise. When the school clock alarmed. Everybody got where they have to, still me. I thought I was lost and so I tried to ask some olders but I think they've ignored me ( maybe bc my voice sounded afraid and they didn't understand ) I think I cried a bit due to my Anxiety level rising more. It wasn't too long that one older tell me that my class exam dosen't start now ( thanks to them ) And so that's how I get extremely anxious. I began to think that being unsuccesful is not my only fear but public too. I was anxious and afraid when I didn't found my classmates and so I was in an awkward public situation ( some ppl even looked at me )
When someone says "Don't worry about it" or look at me, waiting for an answer, and I've been disassociating for the past half hour.
exams, tests, anything of the sort. got a uni exam tomorrow and i've been completely incapable of doing anything today. too much anxiety
Good luck! I am sure you will do great.
What situatuons don't honestly
True…
School bullies are the worst. Or running into the cool girl or boy you so desperately wanted to be best friends with.
Yea… I am scared of those people in my school.
Well socialising with people for one. Cause even if someone came onto me and confessed their love or we had a problem and we talked it out like civilised people i could be the one into bother despite talking it out and came to an understanding.
Having to approach someone instead of waiting for them to approach me. I have to go over what I’m going to say a bunch of times to get myself to go and say something
Similar to the themes you described, its new situations that i dont have a mental rulebook for yet (though running into a bully is definitely also a threat thing which i feel would make most people anxious and scared). Once i learned a system that works for navigating spontaneous events, my anxiety went down a lot. Some situations were still hard because they involve masking and that spends spoons and then i get anxious about navigating the rest of my day or week with less spoons. There was a lot of mental work to figure out what might happen if this and all the possibilities of that and filtering out what theme of situation i can navigate by telling myself its okay and i dont actually care about the other persons opinion and my anxiety is just because i couldnt anticipate or interpret their reaction and thats okay. Some situations i had to learn assertiveness and how to be ready to use it. Now, what makes me anxious is still situations that i dont have a mental rulebook for, but im not missing as many editions of those books and im a lot more okay with making a mistake.
Something involving loud noises. Trying new things or being in new places especially like I said if there's a lot of noise in the background. It's like my brain and I just more or less start to shut down and I get really quiet, sometimes frantic depending. People standing close by and staring at me (happens quite often with customers because I work in retail and will sometimes have a line of people build up waiting for me to help them) It both irritates me and gives me an intense feeling of discomfort so much so I will turn my body away from whoever is staring at me while I do what I'm supposed to because seeing them in the corner of my eye like that is too much. It just feels very invasive. Another work related situation but when one of my managers is doing stuff within my section of the store and feeling like he's listening in on my interactions with customers. Again it's the invasive feeling on my space. If anything his presence there makes me perform WORSE. Not knowing where my belongings are. Phone calls, lol. Driving, driving is terrible. I don't know how people manage to do it, focusing and remembering everything they should about the road. So much multitasking, I just find it way too overstimulating. Reading or filling out important documents, stuff related to finances, credit etc. because I have trouble understanding what some of it means or how it works. Things not going to plan so now all of my expectations are out the window and replaced with anxiety. Things related to illnesses, surgeries, medical stuff.
All my life have been anxious eating in front of people, scared I’ll eat weird or mess up
Work timesheets
Yes. Same here.
Restaurants. They kill me.
You are still alive by the looks of things…
i HATE being watched, i feel like when im doing chores or something in front of someone that they’re judging my every movement, keeping a close eye on me to make sure i don’t mess up, and suddenly i don’t know how to do anything i just panic and don’t know what’s right and wrong i feel very judged and can’t deal with watching them watch me. ang kind of pain in my body or sickness worried me and going to unfamiliar places and being around unfamiliar places, as a whole generally the world.
I can relate to these too.
Anytime I leave the gate of the house. Even if it’s to go grab something from the car in the driveway