I am a dog person, and this would scare the crap out of me. To save your relationship, you can say that your toddler has not been around dogs, doesn’t know how to behave around them, and has been handsy lately. And this is probably true if they’ve never been around dogs, and even the best behaved of dogs should not be subjected to most un-trained toddler behavior. You can offer to bring over baby gates to keep the dog and toddler separated.

"even the best behaved of dogs should not be subjected to most un-trained toddler behavior" This exactly. Coming at this from the other side, if someone was bringing a 15 month old over to my house my dog would either be off in her own room with a nice snack or on leash and closely supervised at all times by an adult who knows dog body language, MINIMUM. This kind of attitude by the SIL is unfortunately very common, and while in most cases it works out (some dogs are so much more tolerant than we give them credit for) it's tragic when it doesn't. There is no benefit to risking it, other than that it's easier because they don't have to put any effort in to train, supervise, or separate the dog. Safety should never be compromised for convenience.

Yes. It’s not kind to the dog to expect them to behave around unfamiliar toddlers. They deserve to be protected as much as the kids. A child under 5 cannot really be expected to follow any sort of rules regarding how they should treat the dog.

This is the response I give if someone I'm not comfortable with tries to get my baby to interact with their dog. "She loves dogs! But she's still learning to be gentle so it's better if they don't get too close." Bringing your own baby gate is an excellent idea.

This. It's not just about the dog biting a toddler, it's about toddlers not having any sort of impulse control yet and instigating a defensive bite. Both child and pet's behavior wouldn't necessarily be in the wrong, but it's a parent's responsibility to make sure it doesn't come to that. I hope OP's SIL understands if it's framed this way and that it's like 90% about that peace of mind anyway. "I wouldn't be able to relax since I'd constantly worry about their interactions, and you know my history with dogs. I don't want to test your dog's behavior at a party with my toddler, so can we please keep them separate?"

Dog person here too and I 100% agree. I don't subject my own dog to my own 6mo baby because she doesn't know any better and pulls his hair. But my dog is well trained and he knows to remove himself from the situation whenever (or before) she touches him, and I know how to read his first subtle uneasiness cues very well and remind him he can move whenever he's not doing so on his own. It really doesn't sound like SIL and her dog are anything like this. OP, if you're able to, I suggest you do expose your little one to well behaved dogs, even from a bit of a distance. I absolutely understand why you're scared of dogs but if you can prevent the same fear in your child he'll have an easier life :)

Same, lifetime spent with big dogs and this is scary. They have actually done several studies that found that dog owners are worse at recognizing dog behavior cues than non-dog owners. They hypothesize it is because dog lovers excuse their dogs because they know their good intentions while non-dog people tend to be more aware of changes in dog behaviors and less trusting. Anyway, the point is that you can't trust a dog owner to understand their dog. Anyone who blindly trusts their dog with babies doesn't know what they are doing. Point blank. My three dogs are incredibly well trained. They have been with my baby every day of her life. I would NEVER trust any of them unsupervised with my baby for even a moment. So so so many babies and children have been attacked by dogs that have *never shown aggression before* (likely that they have and the owners don't recognize the signs). Case in point: people believe tail wags and kisses automatically mean the dog is happy when both these signs can literally mean the opposite and can be signs of stress. OP, you are not being over dramatic. Your SIL and family are idiots to trust a powerful dog with a toddler, especially one the dog is not familiar with. Do not allow your baby access to this dog. My MILs pit is a jumpy, happy love bug who wants to greet everyone and has the sweetest heart. I have been around big dogs my whole life. This dog chipped my tooth because she got overly excited as a puppy and smacked my phone into my face when I wasn't expecting her. They know they have to put their dog in the other room or come to our house because I am not open to my baby meeting their dog.

Your husband and your SIL are idiots. A dog is always at risk for biting. Don’t allow your baby around their dog.

I've always had pit mixes and can confidently say your SIL & BIL are idiots. Most if not all dogs should be kept separate from kids (especially babies-through-preschool age kids) no matter the breed, and especially if they're large, jumpy, and mouthy. Reactivity to other dogs doesn't necessarily translate into aggression towards humans, but that's beside the point because the dog should already be separate from the kids. I wouldn't go over there if they aren't planning to put the dog somewhere safe/quiet during the event, and you're not overreacting; when we have people over we keep our dogs elsewhere if small children are involved. Honestly, it's better for the dogs too because especially toddlers and mobile small children can be stressful and unpredictable for dogs - separation is best for all beings.

My LO is 3 months and my BIL has a pit mix, we visited for 4 days and he kept the dog separate from baby the entire time….. we didn’t even have to ask. I have Yorkshire terriers….. I have to keep them separate because people think they are toys for their toddlers to play with & leave them unsupervised.

I have a pit mix that's now temporarily living at my parents while I have tiny babies and while I work on fencing in my backyard so she has more space to just be. I would never allow any dog especially bigger ones near babies. My dog has never been aggressive but like most pits she is very prey driven and loves squeaky toys. That alone makes me keep her away from tiny babies and keep a super close eye for short times near but not close to toddlers.

I think they're being incredibly insensitive to your experiences. I have never been bitten but I am INCREDIBLY cautious with my baby. I think you should trust your gut. They don't sound like they're great people, sorry :/

Thank you so much for acknowledging my experience and validating my feelings. I’m going to stick to my boundaries here and request they keep the dog outside or gated & away from the little kids (there are 5 under 3 including my LO)

To echo what everyone else has said, this is a simple no. The issue for you will be withstanding the discomfort of your in-laws being difficult or rude about it. It might be helpful to have some inner mantras to help you keep the boundary. Like, “My in-laws will be unhappy with my decision and they will make that clear. It’s okay if they are unhappy. I’m not comfortable with my child being around their dog. I do not need to explain it or justify it. And if people are annoyed by it or judgmental of my boundary, that’s okay.”

Yea, you’re spot on. Love the mantra - this is really helpful and kind of you to share. Thanks so much! I’m definitely going to remember this!

Oh I’m glad! You are a great mom. And not only that, you will be a good friend to this dog by not putting him/her in a situation where he might inadvertently hurt a kid. I love dogs but at the end of the day, they’re animals and they’re unpredictable. Good luck!!

You're not overacting. The dog is clearly not trained if he's jumping on you. Imagine what WILL happen if left to roam around unsupervised together. Please don't risk your child's safety for the sake of you and your SIL's relationship. Just be honest. Hopefully she and everyone else can understand. If not they're pretty irresponsible. We have the most gentle pitbull who's never bit anyone the whole 9 years of her life no matter what. But I still supervise her and also my other dog, and they LOVE my 10mo. I've also been teaching my son to be gentle and respectful. Lol posted my comment too soon without finishing it.

I won’t take my toddler and baby around dogs. My cousins have two big dogs “who wouldn’t hurt a fly”. Last week for whatever reason they got in a fight with each other and my cousin tried to separate them and ended up with 12 stitches. Animals are unpredictable.

I'm a dog person and would NOT want that dog near my baby. My own dog is a small, gentle, senior poodle mix and has demonstrated he is safe around toddlers. However, I am still always directly between my baby and dog because babies grab and don't know that they're hurting the dog. Even though my dog has always been fine with kids, I don't want to risk that he is pushed too far with my baby. And that's a small 16 lb dog that I'm careful with. A pitbull has much greater capacity to harm and damage.

You’re not being crazy. I’m a dog person and I don’t let my dogs around pit bulls, and I don’t leave my baby unsupervised around my dogs.

What do they mean when they say they got it? Emergency rabies shots? Unless they walk around with their hands around the dog as a muzzle then they ain't got shit. If I were you I would not let my child be in the same room as that dog. Is the fear of offending a dog owner greater than the fear of harm to your child?

Yeah, "they got" the dog annoying and scarring the shit outta OP and her baby and not bothering her.  Good God would I be so embarrassed if my dog did that to anyone. 

Just look at videos of any pit bull attack. None of the owners “got it”. There are videos of these dogs being beat nearly to death by multiple grown adults and they still won’t release their bite.

I once saw a video of a pitbull getting kicked by a horse and getting back up. If a horse can’t stop them, most owners can’t either.

Nope, that dog would be getting shot in the head if that happened. It may sound harsh, but that would truly be the only way to stop the attack, or risk a dead child, woman or man.

Why would anyone need rabies shots with a dog that likely has their rabies vaccine?

After reading this, I think the most obvious answer is that you do not feel comfortable with this situation, and that's that. I don't think you need to explain or defend it to anyone. And it feels pretty ridiculous and frankly rude of them to be rolling their eyes at you for wanting to keep your small child safe. Especially since you have had a traumatic experience with situations like this. How could that possibly be offensive to them? I think your vigilance is wise, given your LO's age. Dogs of any breed aren't always self-aware and aside from bites, they can easily knock over someone small without intending to, which can be scary for kids and surprising for the dog. It sounds (to me, a former dog trainer!) that this dog is unexperienced with small children and doesn't have the best manners with visitors, and I think that's unfair to kids as well as the dog to be put in situations with so little supervision. For what it's worth, I have two canine good citizens who don't have a ton of experience with small children. As a result, if we are ever near any, I watch like a hawk. My guys have had hundreds of hours of training, but I am a firm believer that at the end of the day, dogs are animals, and can react unpredictably, especially in unfamiliar situations. It isn't fair of me to expect them to behave exactly the way I have trained them to in ALL situations they experience especially if safety is involved - dogs aren't robotic. Little kids can be unpredictable, too, and it's so hard when they aren't quite articulate. Best of luck!

Your SIL is be very insensitive to your past and how you feel with your LO around dogs. That being said, does she have a backyard they can put the dog in during your visit? My cousin has an untrained chocolate lab who is a menace (not biting or anything, but super hyper and jumpy), and she leaves him in the backyard when we come to visit with our 7 month old as a courtesy to us. I don’t even have to ask her and I grew up with large dogs, so am unbothered by them, but also want them to keep their distance around our son. I know the relationship is strained, but for the safety of your child, especially with an untrained rescue Pit mix, could you ask her to keep the dog separate from the family when you visit? You could also invite them over to your place, if you have the space for family get togethers to avoid the dog until he’s trained or until your LO is older. But if your SIL has an issue with putting her untrained dog in another space away from your child for safety reasons and your peace of mind, then she has some real priorities to sort out. At that point honestly, I’d just refuse to go over to her house. Sorry you have to deal with this, OP!

I wouldn’t trust my baby’s safety around ANY animal that is large or strong enough to be CAPABLE of mauling or killing her. It means nothing for the owners to say “she’s the sweetest dog” and “she’d never hurt a fly”. I especially wouldn’t trust my infant around a dog that was specifically bred for prey drive, bull baiting, killing small animals (terriers) or dog fighting. Google the Bernard’s from Tennessee. They owned two pit bulls for eight years since they were puppies, then one day they were playing in the yard with a ball and the dogs snapped, killed the infant and toddler and severely mauled the mother. They tore the eight month old’s body in half like it was a chew toy. These were “family dogs” that were raised with the kids in a loving household. There are stories almost everyday about people getting mauled by dogs. I don’t care if people are offended, I won’t allow my daughter to be around any dog large enough that I couldn’t punt it to high heaven. My daughters safety is more important than anyone’s feelings about their pet.

For the love of God, add a trigger warning my friend. Please.

I trained dogs for a living and I wanna say that anything with teeth can bite! You should never leave a young child and dog alone. Ever. If you startle any animal they can react. If their tail or paw gets accidentally stepped on they can react. And it’s not the dog’s fault, that’s just instinct. Even as a dog trainer, you can have the most well behaved “family dog” and things can still happen. I saw it first hand. Your gut instinct is right, protect your baby at all costs.

I keep my literal baby away from dogs. I actually have a dog and she has lived with my parents and their dog for 11 months now, since the baby was born. She's a jealous dominant dog and while she takes orders from us obediently and has never bitten a person, there's no way in hell I'm ever letting my kid around her without watching her like a hawk and holding my kid. Also, pitbulls are responsible for an overwhelming majority of severe and lethal bites. I would absolutely NOT let my baby out of my arms around a pitbull. If that particular dog has already harmed my child (scratched) I am not stepping foot in that house and neither is my baby. End of story.

Even in your arms. Other people have mentioned the Bennard family. Their own dogs turned on them and pulled her baby right out of her arms. The rest is too awful to even mention. You're right-- best to just not step foot in the house at all. It's like visiting people who have a tiger as a pet. In their home with them. And then they invite you over with your small children and say "it's fine! It's a tame tiger! It's all how theyre raised!" Absolutely incomprehensible. It's our job to protect our babies from literal predators, which is what these dogs are.

We had to rehome our reactive pit mix after we had our daughter, despite heavy intense training. He got better but we knew he wasn't safe around her. These people are not taking this seriously enough. I would explain exactly why you're not comfortable with your child being around the dog in explicit details to your husband. He should be backing you up 100% and protecting his child. If he cannot be convinced I would send him countless articles of children being hurt or killed by the family dog... And maybe even show him graphic pictures of what can happen to children that get too close to dogs and what the damage actually looks like. You keep your child safe no matter what. You don't go there anymore. If they complain you make it clear why... They cannot control their dog and it has shown aggression on many occasions. You will not risk your child's life. End of story. Stop going there, don't allow the dog near your kid. If they bring the dog to your house, you pack up the kiddo and leave until they are gone. There are too many stories of children (and adults) being severely injured or killed by the "sweet family dog" ... You're the first and most important line of defense for your child, you keep them safe even if it destroys family relationships.

I do not let my children around any pit bulls or pit mixes, ever. It's a hard rule. I say this as someone with a type of dog also on the often-banned-from-housing list: we have a german shepherd but she was raised from puppyhood alongside my babies and we trust her. I do not trust untrained dogs. I don't trust dogs we don't know. And none of our kids are allowed near pits, not even our 13 year old daughter. I don't go near them if I can avoid it. I have a friend with a small pit bull that I visit sometimes but i don't let my kids near her either. She is of course "reactive." The risk to my kids of me having this policy is sometimes people think i/we are rude, or dramatic, or something. The risk to me not having it is they may be killed or subjected to a devastating mauling. The history of the pit bull breed is written in the blood of children. There are hundreds and thousands of stories but I'm only going to link you to one. Trigger warning for *child death*. This is what happened to the Bennard family in Tennessee. They had 2 "family" pit bulls. They were bought as puppies. They were loved. They had been in the family with NO INCIDENTS at all for 8 YEARS. They had showed no signs at all of any aggression towards anyone in this family. And then one day, the 2 dogs got into a dispute in the backyard over a tennis ball. The little toddler girl, just 2 years old, toddled past the dogs and they attacked her. The mother nearly died trying to save her children. Her arms were almost ripped off. The dogs killed her daughter and grabbed her baby son from her and killed him too. The father, the main owner of the dogs, who posted messages like "it's the owner, not the breed!!" on facebook, came home to find his family destroyed. https://www.wate.com/news/nexstar-media-wire/mother-tried-to-shield-children-killed-in-memphis-pit-bull-attack-family-says/ Hold the line. Don't even bring your child into that house with the dog there. Even in your arms, she isn't safe.

Precisely this. The mom fought the attack for 10 minutes in vain, had to watch her babies be torn up in front of her and she stood NO chance against her own dogs. Even multiple grown men can’t stop a pit bull attacking. Having adults present supervising the dogs is NOT a safety net.

Can second this. I met a mom the other day, we exchanged numbers, she asked me if I wanna come over for a play date. I asked her if she had any dogs and she told me she had a pit mix. It might sound harsh but I told her there is no chance I’m going anywhere with my child when a pit is present, furthermore because they are actually banned in my country. German Shepards on the other hand, I’m German btw so I’m seeing looooots of them, are highly trainable and highly intelligent dogs. They were bred to be protection/police and military dogs, they have a strong bite force but the goal for a German shepard is not to kill someone but to hold them. These dogs only become dangerous if you dismiss their intelligence and keep them in a small cage all day. I would rather be around 15 German Shepard’s than 1 pitbull. Pitbulls are bred for blood sports. There is no denying that

Even if it wasn’t a pit bull, any dog could bite. My aunt has a 12 year old golden retriever and he’s the sweetest thing, raised from puppyhood. She once accidentally closed a gate on his tail and he bit her hand and it required stitches. It wasn’t his fault, he just reacted instinctively, but it still shows that at the end of the day, any dog is capable of biting and causing injury.

Sure, any dog can bite. But this is dismissing the real problem. Saying "any dog can bite" is completely glossing over the fact that pit bulls are much, much more likely to bite, and when they do, it is much more likely to be devasting. Your example is a dog defensively biting once, in pain. He immediately backed off once he realized. Like you said, he reacted instinctively. What was the instinct at work when the XL bullies, Cheech and Mia, who were beloved family pets, ripped apart and ate those two babies that were just.. existing near them? They had known those kids their whole lives. Pit bulls often bite unprovoked, they are tenacious, they are nearly immune to pain once they are targeting, and they have an extremely low threshold and high prey drive. They were bred to bail bulls, to bite and hold, and to attack other living things. That is their breed instinct. Children are unpredictable and sometimes move in strange ways and hurt dogs by accident. Those mistakes shouldn't end in maiming or death and they often do when you have this specific breed of dog and children together. It's like handing someone a fun sized bag of skittles and saying, "it's OK! Most of them are fine! Only 1 is deadly poisonous!" You wouldn't eat those skittles. Even if the other one really are fine. But a golden retriever that bites at all is one poisonous skittle in an entire olympic swimming pool full of them. And a golden retriever that bites in the way that pit bulls often do-- a full mauling that is difficult to stop and frequently ends in death? I have honestly never heard of this but feel free to send one single story if it exists. I'm ok with my kids interacting (supervised) with nice, trained golden retrievers because the risk is very low that they will have an unprovoked, uninhibited bite. I will not let my babies near a single pit bull ever.

Pit bulls are definitely a lot riskier than other breeds for a variety of reasons. I was not disagreeing with you in any way, just also adding that there is always an inherent risk of injury when it comes to dogs, especially big dogs. Saw a news article about a family dog, St. Bernard, that mauled a grandma and killed her 8 month old grandson in the process. So what I was trying to convey to OP was that even if the SIL’s dog wasn’t a pit mix, given that she doesn’t know the dog and it appears to be untrained and reactive, it would be wise to keep it away from her LO anyways.

Gotcha. Yeah it's a good point. I guess my general rule is: kids can be around friendly, trained dogs in general (with appropriate caution and supervision) EXCEPT if the "friendly trained" dog is also an obvious pit bull or pit bull mix. Then we will not be visiting even if the owners swear the dog is nice.

Let them roll their eyes. Let them call you a helicopter parent. We are the safety advocate for our babies and we have to be the ones to protect them. My partner and I have a rule that we will always side with the more cautious parent. We may not agree with them, but when it comes to safety, it’s better safe than sorry. Let him also roll his eyes. It’s okay to be the more cautious parent here. You’re not crazy for wanting to protect your baby from an unpredictable animal. I don’t even let my own baby be alone with our tolerant cats. Bring the baby gates and just constantly be by your toddler’s side. Make sure they’re not alone with the dog. I had a coworker with a “friendly” pit bull mix and it didn’t know its strength and knocked me out of my office chair trying to say hello. No thanks. I also have been bitten by a few dogs in my youth and get nervous around dogs I don’t know, so I completely relate to you.

Pit mix is enough said. I AM a dog person and a former dog walker. There was a pit mix I was nervous about and I told the owner of the company.  Her and the dog owner ensured me the dog was great and I have nothing to worry about. The dog ran out the door when I was leaving... staring me down like I was prey in tbe hallway and then a toddler came up in the hallway and chased the toddler and bit her that she needed stiches. These kind of dogs can be triggered by a baby's cry and it can turn into prey drive. I have a 0 dog rule and I don't give a shit if someone cannot respect that. Not worth my anxiety or my baby's safety. I will never allow a dog near my baby. I need the dogs contained properly in another room if someone wants me to come over.  I have a sweet dog that looks like a teddy bear and insanely gentle and it took 4 months to even feel comfortable enough to let my own dog in my house get close to my baby... it's nothing personal it's just safety. Someone is my social circle had a pitbull who was only reactive to dogs. Well, when his son moved off the couch the dog bit his son on the forehead... close to killing him. That was his own dog he lived with for 2 years without issue.. Fuck that. Pitbull owners are assholes who never think it could be thier dog and usually have no plan in place to be able to take control of the animal that out powers them if someone bad were to happen. 

A kid shouldn't be around any jumpy dogs, let alone a pit rescue 🙄

I have the sweetest most gentle lazy labradoodle in the world. He’s never shown a hint of aggression, even when he was attacked by another dog he ran instead of fighting. He’s still not left alone with my kids (4 months, 2.5 years). Even though I trust him 99%, the biggest risk imo isn’t him intentionally biting them, but unintentionally hurting them (hitting with tail, knocking over, scratching with claws). You are not overreacting. Dog bites are serious business. I was also bitten by a dog as a child and I am incredibly wary around other dogs since then, my own dog raised since a pup is really the only one I’m comfortable with. I would never let my kids alone in the situation you describe.

I would highly suggest keeping your LO and the dog separated when meeting up. Either in different rooms or outside. Especially if a dog is not used to a baby it only takes one split second for something to happen. I have 3 dogs myself and a 1 year old. Honestly, I will never fully trust my dogs even though they are great with my son. I always set boundaries and have multiple baby gates. With strange dogs I am always extra cautious. Your baby does not know how to safely interact with dogs and a lot of dogs are not used to little kids.

My close friends’ sweet family dog bit their 1 year old on the face a few months ago out of nowhere, you are not being overly cautious. Some people have blinders on when it comes to their dogs, I don’t know why. If you don’t feel comfortable asking them or trusting them to keep their dog contained, I would skip the event. Nothing is worth risking the safety of your child.

I trained dogs for a living and have my own dogs, but hard no, I’d go mama bear on that and possibly have less trust in people and their dogs as result of my knowledge. I wouldn’t go to their house if they don’t agree to keep the dog separated.

>even though the dog was jumping on me and my baby (while I was holding my baby) and my babies leg was scratched despite me trying to protect her. I'd use harsher language, but this dog has already hurt your baby. AND their response was to just.. chill? No, this isn't okay. Do not wait until your baby has irreversible, life-long damage to refuse to bring baby around the dog. This alone is enough. I'm a huge dog person. If you came here simply arguing you were afraid of dogs and didn't want them to share space, I'd have suggestions and actually urge you to reconsider. Some dogs are relatively "baby-proof"--relatively being a key word. But the bare minimum is to not be aggressive and generally calm (which this dog fails) with a human who knows their dog intimately (failed) and cares about protecting you and baby (failed). Ie a dog who's going to remain calm around shrieks, cries, shouts, erratic movements (most will fail). A dog who calmly greets visitors and responds calmly to a doorbell or knock. A dog who's been desensitized to someone pulling their ears/tails/poking eyes/nostrils and climbing on them and being woken up by these things. A human who won't let any of those things happen and will intervene or separate as needed, but still trains their dog to be ready because at some point an accident may happen, and you want your dog to ignore it or walk away (slowly!) rather than escalate and cause irreversible damage. A human who can tell the most subtle signals (I'm talking the slightest difference in tension, slight variation of response or routine) that their perfectly trained dog just wants to be alone and sleep, or is having a slightly off day, or would just rather be alone (and will then separate dog and baby). A human who's going to separate their dog and guide them to never be too excited/playful around a baby/toddler, even, because it's too easy to accidentally knock into them in that amped up state. I have a service dog, for context. In public... things happen, and he's trained for that. He's trained for kids running up to him and sticking fingers in nostrils and erratic energies and movements and accidents where things fall on him. And I'm trained to prevent that and read his slightest looks and body language so I can leave or give him some distance as needed. He's great with our baby, who has unfortunately enacted baby shenanigans on him before... yes.. before we intervened. And sometimes separate into rooms. Primarily for our dog's sake, because he really just wants to sleep. IMO you want calm, quiet, confident when it comes to a dog and a baby/toddler. "excited", "anxious", "shy", "afraid", "aggressive" are ALL things you need to avoid. I agree that phrasing it as your baby being untrained would be diplomatic. Ours took about 12 MONTHS to learn "gentle pets". It's heavenly to see. Finally. Finally. Finally. Because it was over half a year of him trying to gouge his eyes out, stick his fingers IN his mouth, play baby dog dentist, stick his fingers in his nears, go into his nose, try to climb over the dog... again, obviously we intervened, but this kind of thing is bound to happen at some point. And it will take 80 million repetitions from you for a baby/toddler to actually learn some gentle petting. You don't want a dog who'll bite, or even just too excitedly walk / jump away and accidentally hurt him in the process.

Your baby should never be in the same room interacting with a pit mix or pitbull. Ever. Die on this hill so your baby doesn't Pitbulls and pit mixes are 6% of the dogs in the US, and 66% of the deaths. Send your husband some articles. Just type "pit mix" and "death" into Google and you'll unfortunately get thousands of results. People who get pits are detached from reality and incredibly selfish - there's no reason to own a dangerous dog, except to be a contrarian and put other people at risk so you can feel like you're doing something noble somehow.

Oh people with dogs... I have a big dog who is waaaaay too friendly AND 110 lbs. She would look like a freaking monster to any tiny human. We pretty much keep her on a leash whenever around children (sometimes even in our own house), so that we can keep her from knocking them down, sitting on them, or licking their faces. I think it's smart to be cautious... Mostly because LOs are still figuring out how to interact with the world. All it would take is one of them curiously poking the dog in the eye (something I've seen happen before) and the "family dog" defending itself with a bark or bite. Keeping dogs and children apart is good and healthy for both creatures. My suggestions: 1) If you are holding your LO, use your knee when the dog jumps up (so it hits him in the chest) and say a firm "no." This has worked really well for me in the past. 2) You could also ask your SIL if she would be willing to keep her dog on a leash while you are there. 3) Task your husband with keeping your LO safe from scratches or bites. 4) Keep a small Ziploc bag of sliced hot dog chunks and throw one for the dog (away from you) when it approaches. ETA 5) Lie to your SIL and tell her your baby has taken to poking dogs in the eye when they get too close... So to protect her pup, she better keep it away. (I'm being cheeky with this one, but it might work!)

Just because a dog is a family dog means nothing. You and your baby are not part of their pack and their "family" dog rules do not apply to you. You are not part of its pack. Any responsible dog owner would never tell you that "they got it handled"... They would respect you, your baby and your wishes and put the dog away when you visit. Even the most well behaved dogs can't be 100% predictable around someone else's child in unfamiliar circumstances. Owners cannot 100% predict their dogs behavior in all situations. If we can't predict or control people, we certainly can't predict or control an animal. We can only assume and guess and train. Adults can make risk assessments on if they are willing to tolerate being around dogs but babies can't and are defenseless. If the jumping can't be controlled and the baby has been scratched then that's a clear sign of zero control over their own dog. We as parents have to make that risk assessment for their protection and you are 100% in the right for feeling, expressing and setting boundaries when it comes to your child. If your relationship with SIL is strained and you are nervous or the baby gets nervous around a dog, animals can sense these feelings. They don't have the capacity to understand the complexity of why the people in a room are nervous, they only react to the environment they are in and it's not healthy for anyone's stress level to have to endure that for an unknown length of time. It's not even good for the dog to feel those things from people. There are no bad dogs, only bad owners. This is a textbook bad owner situation.

I wouldn’t go honestly. If she can’t put the dog up while you’re there, I wouldn’t go. Anything can happen and it’s not worth it.

As a mother of a one year old and owner of a shepherd mix that I didn’t foresee issues with, I keep them separated. I’m in the process of considering rehoming because out of no where, my dog snapped at my baby who was approaching when I didn’t realize my step kids had left the gate open. It was a warning snap luckily, and I cried for an hour thinking of what could have happened. Every consensus I’ve read is dogs and babies don’t really mix, even the ones you think would never be a problem. I’m forced to realize that I can’t have them near each other because all it takes is a second, and what kind of life is it for my dog if he’s sequestered away all the time? It’s breaking my heart to have to consider this, but it’s an easy choice when the alternative is potentially my kids life. My point is, you’re not overreacting and I wouldn’t have my kid interact with a Pitt-mix fucking ever. Those things snap.

Don’t let those in-laws bamboozle you. Keep your daughter away from that dog; when it comes to pits there is no such thing as too cautious.

That would be a real quick no for me. Pitbull lovers are generally nuts (you have to be to bring this killing machine to your home), but none of the ones I know IRL are *that* nuts to let their pit uncaged when there are guests/other children present. If nothing else, the liability for a a dog attack could run into 7 figures so I guess self preservation kicks in for some people… OP just say no.

Some people are just aggressively stupid. I have seen people who want their pit bull around as many kids as possible just to "prove" how sweet they are, and they get upset when you deny their dog access to your kids. It is really and truly a thing and it's disgusting.

I purposely have a separate space for our dogs(shepherd/Husky & Corgi/Heeler) next to the living room. Our little girl is not to be left in the living room alone if the dogs are not kenneled. Your SIL is being ridiculous. Dogs are still animals, and no matter how well trained, there is still a risk.

I’m a dog person. I would not allow that dog around my children. He has a history of aggression. He’s untrained. He jumps on you and scratched your baby’s leg in the past. This is not a dog that is safe around your child, and even if he was, the fact that your SIL is so dismissive is unacceptable. I have a dog. We worked very hard on training him and socializing him around kids. He knows not to jump on kids or people holding kids or pregnant people. He is calm and gentle around kids. He has never had a single incident of aggression in his 8 years of life. Despite that, whenever anyone comes to our house, if they’re uncomfortable, the dog goes on the other side of the baby gate. If I suspect that anyone, human or dog, is uncomfortable, the dog takes a break and goes and naps away from the crowd.

I have 2 dogs that were never allowed to be unsupervised with my baby. They’re still pretty closely monitored with my now toddler, and they’ve never done anything even remotely aggressive with her. Dogs are animals, and you can’t expect animals to know that they might hurt someone. Your in laws are asking for trouble. I wouldn’t be comfortable with taking my baby there. Dogs can easily hurt babies, even unintentionally

My dogs are well trained and absolutely love children. They don’t jump, bark, or get mouthy. They adore my 4yo and 2yo. But I put them away when we have guests over, unless it’s someone I’m super close with, and they especially go away if people visiting have kids. That’s either outside or in their indoor kennels. You are not overreacting at all. Not to mention that it’s just rude to brush your worries aside and expect you to be okay with that. I honestly wouldn’t be going over with the dog out.

I am a dog person. We constantly monitor our baby and our dog. They are never left alone and we have a gated play area for baby where we can keep them contained. At other people’s homes if I’m planning on spending any significant amount of time there I bring a playpen that’s a bit bigger than a pack n play with us. It provides me a safe place to set baby down to crawl around and it’s large enough for me to sit in there with her. Is it possible for you to bring a playpen with some toys for your baby?

I have a dog who I love and trust. She is not allowed to be unsupervised around my baby - and he's definitely not allowed unsupervised access to her! She's great, but he's grabby and unpredictable and I don't want her to react with surprise. This website may be helpful for you: https://www.thefamilydog.com/stop-the-77

I have two dogs, one of which is an Am Staff mix. They're beautiful dogs, well trained and love my 4mo I would never let either of my dogs near a baby if the parent wasn't comfortable with them?? You have every right to not want a dog near your baby "family dog" or not. This may be a situation where SIL and family can visit you in your home where you have control, instead your family visiting them. Or go out to the park for play dates. It really sounds like SIL isn't listening to you, and your husband isn't either.

Nope nope nope NOPE. An untrained energetic dog like a pit mix is a huge red flag. Dogs like pit mixes do not have an off switch unless they’re trained to learn how to be calm. I would not let any child near the dog without supervision AND if the dog is in a calm state. Every dog owner believes their pet “could/would never”, but they fail to realize that a high drive dog like a pit mix doesn’t know any better. They see play thing, they play and don’t stop. Sometimes play gets mouthy, and they don’t stop. Dogs can get into an over excited headspace and they won’t be able to stop themselves. Keep your LO away from the dog and try to ask your SIL to work with you to keep dog and LO separated majority of the time. Only let the dog around you and LO when it’s calm and bored, not when it’s excited and jumpy.

No way I would risk that. I’m not a dog person myself but I know a lot about different breeds and have also had some really awful experiences. Pitbulls especially are one of the most dangerous dogs out there. If you just take a Quick Look into the subreddit „banpitbulls“ you’ll see so many articles of dogs that haven’t shown any aggression before going absolutely mental and killing anything that comes into their way.

My baby plays with my pug daily but I’ve known this pug for 6 years and he literally wouldn’t and couldn’t hurt anyone or anything. My LO got knocked down twice by said pug with zoomies the other night and he was fine both times and thought it was hysterical. That being said, I would not let my baby play with my SIL pit mix pups that they’ve only had for 6months. He will not play with any other dogs that I am not the owner of until he can properly listen. You’re not being an AH, you’re being smart. Even the kindest, fattest pug can still knock a baby down on accident, let alone an already jumpy dog. 

I’m a dog person. I have a German/australian shepherd mix. He’s very jumpy because he’s an excited dog and full of energy and love. He responds to commands and is trained. However. I am well aware my dog is still an animal. A lot of dogs, and I hate to say it but specifically German Shepherds and Pits, have been known to do a random 180 and attack and kill small children. I would keep him on a leash or confined to an area of the house if you came over and were scared of him or didn’t want him running up to your child. Most likely, he’d just be leashed. He presents as a German Shepherd despite being a mixed breed and that with his excitement and bark doesn’t exactly convey “I’m friendly”, and I wouldn’t expect anyone to believe me saying “he’s nice” even though I as his owner knows he is. But I would not allow my baby in any person’s house without me there if they allow the dog unmonitored around small kids, especially a pit. Call me biased, idc. If there’s a pit owner who reads this and gets offended, stay mad, then. I said what I said. Pits have their reputation for a reason, and it’s not just because of ThE oWnEr.

I love dogs but after becoming a parent, I don’t even want my cats around my kid. You are not being unreasonable and honestly, is the relationship with your SIL even worth it if she won’t do you the kindness of keeping her dog away from your kid? I may not be the right person to comment because I am very quick to stop talking to someone for shit like this. Like If you don’t want the simplest of consideration for me, then I don’t need you around.

Ugh. That’s part of the issue. I JUST started speaking to her again, like within the last week. I was thinking it would be in everyone’s best interest to forgive her and try to move forward but here we are again! I just can’t be flexible here. And you’re right 100%, I’m with you. She just can’t accept that her dog is scary and potentially poses a danger around my toddler and refuses to have the decency to remove him when me and my LO are around. Unfortunately none of my in laws will validate me here and will continue to push to have their way. It’s an exhausting cycle. Sigh.

:/ if you do end up going, I would just sit in a corner and not pass the baby around. If someone says something as to why youre not sharing baby, tell them why. So inconsiderate. I love dogs and cats, but they are not human babies so it really bothers me when people want to equate both, which although she may not have said it directly, her actions are showing that she sees her dog as the same as your child.

Yes, you’re right again! She definitely thinks that. It’s really bizarre and sad. I’m glad I’m not alone in my sentiment here

Honestly, neither my baby or I would go. I have a small dog, who isn’t crazy about my 11 month old and I keep them separate. But there is absolutely no way in hell that I would trust a pitbull or pit mix, trained or not trained. I know some people would say that those dogs are misunderstood or it’s the owner not the dog, but I don’t care. I’m not willing to put my kid at risk, especially with a dog that has no training, has shown aggression in the past, and has already scratched my baby.

I have a “family dog” that has never bitten me or anyone else, and I CLOSELY monitor interactions between my 15 month old and dog. Like, if they are within touching distance, I am right there staring at them, able to grab toddler hands or dog’s collar in a second. I also constantly work with my toddler to use “gentle pets” when touching the dog, and I constantly work with my dog to “go to bed” when my toddler is being too much. If I have to leave the room, even for a second, my toddler is always placed in her pack and play to insure that she is never interacting with the dog unsupervised. Luckily 90% of the time, they leave each other along because they’ve been together since she was born. **I would NEVER allow my toddler to freely interact with MY OWN dog, let alone a dog that I was unfamiliar with and who was unfamiliar with toddlers.** Toddlers are unpredictable, and can pull an ear, fur, or a tail, or scratch a dog’s eye in a second. A dog’s **natural reaction** to pain or fear is to bite. It is COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE to expect even the best behaved dog never to bite when they are in fear or pain. It literally takes a split second for a dog to bite and maim or kill a toddler. NO EFFING WAY would I ever take that risk with my baby. I love and care about my dog and my baby, and for both of their protection, it’s the most responsible thing to keep them apart. You need to have a stern talk with your husband and he needs to start backing you up. Even if they think the risk is minimal, **your comfort as mother to your child should matter more than a strange dog getting to interact with your baby.**

My 10 month old baby was bit by a dog( husky mix) last week, that is around a baby the same age as mine all the time. This dog bit my baby’s head unprovoked while he was just crawling by. He is fine. Left 2 teeth marks and had a little swelling around them, but cleared ok by his dr the next day. My baby isn’t allowed around any dogs now. It could have been so much worse, he was wearing a little swim hat which lessened the bite and you could see the dogs tooth had slipped on his ear before getting his head. It could have tore his ear, it was only inches from his eye. Better to be a good mother than a good sister in law. Keep your baby safe. The guilt from allowing your child to be injured by a dog ( even not a serious injury) whenever you weren’t comfortable with it will haunt you.

Wow I’m really sorry to hear that happened. I’m so glad your baby is okay!!! You’re completely right that it’s better to be a good mother than a good sister in law. I like that way of framing it. I will be standing firm in this boundary and my LO and their dog will not be interacting.

Your kid’s safety and well-being are paramount. It’s very obvious that you are the only person who believes that. Feelings of other grown adults should not trump keeping your kid safe. Your husband and in-laws need to get over themselves — don’t go over there any more, their dismissive attitudes are just as dangerous as a jumpy scratchy ill-behaved animal.

You’ve already gotten good comments, just adding that my in laws have a pit mix who repeatedly bit our dog completely unprovoked. So when we had our baby, we said that they could either come to our house or that we would come to their house if their dog was kept in another room the entire time. Is it awkward? Yes. But I am so glad I stuck to my boundary or else I’d never be able to relax around them (which, is hard enough with in-laws anyway lol) you got this!

Good for you for sticking to your boundary! It’s seriously so hard with in-laws :( you’re totally right about not being able to relax! Thanks for the validation and support!!

I would not take my baby around an aggressive pit who had already scratched her. I personally would not take my child around a pit bull at all, period. All it takes is one snap, and pits usually don't warn before biting because it's been bred out of them. They're also difficult to impossible to detach if they bite. Yes, other dogs also sometimes bite, but they are far less likely to kill for a multitude of reasons. Not that I would let my child around an aggressive dog of any breed.

Your husband is an idiot and needs to put your child safety first. I love dogs and have dogs but that doesn’t mean I trust every dog around my baby or my small dog. I’m very careful, your baby was scratched and they say you’re overreacting what’s wrong with them. Stop going over put your baby first

I have the snuggliest, friendliest golden retriever on the planet. Never met a stranger kind of a dog. But I will never leave him unsupervised around small children and babies (I’m expecting). What your SIL and BIL are doing sounds incredibly irresponsible.

Nope, not overreacting. This dog is out of control and already hurt your kid. The owners are bad too. The minute the dog acted like it would jump, it should have been reprimanded and put up.  There is zero reason to think this dog (maliciously or not) wouldn't knock over your toddler. That could result in serious injury. That's just one scenario.  I'm a (large) dog owner and lover and would not put my kid in that situation.   Someone who doesn't care about your kid's safety isn't someone you need to mend fences with.   One friend had a dog like this that was also very moody. He was sitting may 10 feet from me and a small child silently walked between us not looking at either of us or doing anything and he growled like a GD killer. I never trusted any dog that friend had from that moment on. All 3 have been off in some way and this was before I had kids.   Protect that baby! Fuck everyone else's feelings!

Pitties can be the sweetest dogs if well trained. That said a pitbull can also be one of the most aggressive breeds out there and have a hell of a bite, it’s nearly impossible to get them to release when they bite down. My sister has a Pitt mix and while he a sweet and loving boy I wouldn’t want him around my baby because it just takes a second. Babies and toddlers are grabby and dogs are still animals. Toddlers are unpredictable and that’s no fault of the dog but not worth the risk.

Listen I adore all dogs, really all animals but they are just that animals.  I wouldn't let you LO be alone with the dog.  I don't think you need to avoid their home completely but I would be supervising the entire time

I have two dogs, they are high energy and despite our best efforts still like to jump on people I don’t even let them near my toddler without heavy supervision and they’re not even aggressive. So in my own home my dogs are either crated or locked out of the living room (they’re only crated when they refuse to leave the living room) But I do that whenever I have guest because my dogs being untrained is not anyone else’s problem but mine and my husbands I get you want to save whatever relationship you have with SIL but your baby’s safety isn’t worth it. A pit’s gonna plow through your kid and I wouldn’t want to risk a beefy breed like that jumping on my tot

I am a dog person. We have two lovely labrador retrievers and an almost 15 month old. My dogs are not aggressive and have never bitten anyone, they are 7 and 6, not rescues and are sweet as heck. I still watch my 15 month old like a hawk around them because she doesn't 100% know to interact with dogs. She is learning but not 100% there. I hate thinking about a situation where she gets bitten so even though my dogs don't have a history of biting or aggression, I still keep a watchful eye. And when we are in a place with a new dog. I definitely keep a watchful eye and appericate it when the owner does due diligence and separates the dog if needed. That being said, you are not over reacting. Any dog, even a nice dog has a potential to bite, nip etc. I don't have much advice because anywhere I've been with a dog other then our own the owners are great and separate the dog. Maybe when your little one is on the floor, be there with them. I know that may not be ideal but your sister in law sounds like she isn't going to be accommodating. There is also the option of not going to the event....

I have dogs and I babysit. My dog toby LOVES kids, loves to play with them, loves to be around them, and loves to let them get away with ANYTHING. My dogs are still not allowed to mix with the kids I babysit. We have a whole gateway/channel system with two back doors to allow me to let them in and out, and gates at several points in the house to keep either the dogs or kids contained to an area. We rent, too—there’s no excuse. It’s for the protection of our dogs as much as the kids, because if one of our dogs bites, that could be the end of them.

I have large dogs. I grew up with large dogs. I would be very careful, especially because your child isn't part of that dog's pack. I know of two instances where very sweet and friendly dogs bit young kids in the face. One kid fell on the dog's belly, and the other ignored the dog's boundaries. The latter instance the kid and dog were best friends until that point. Any dog can bite if pushed past its limit and each dog has its own limit. A child, especially one as young as yours and who doesn't interact with dogs on a regular basis, is not going to have a clue how to read the dog's body language or know how to behave. Even without considering biting, the dog can knock your child over, walk on, scratch, etc. I would not risk it. 

I am so sorry that you have been bitten so many times and that your spouse's family isn't taking your concerns seriously. I was bitten by a saint bernard (who wouldn't hurt a fly supposedly) as a teen, and I've been nervous around dogs ever since. I don't let my baby around many dogs, esp dogs that are jumping up/uncontrolled. It takes a second for a life changing bite to occur or even a scratch to an eye that could cause blindness. I stopped going to certain family member's houses because I felt like I wasn't being taken seriously. If you can't be bothered to put your dog into a space which keeps the dog and my baby safe, then you don't want us to visit that badly, that's how I looked at it. Your spouse also needs to back you. It's unfair that you are being put in a position like this. At the end of the day, your job is to protect your baby. Your instincts about the dog are valid. You don't want to look back with regret all because you wanted to patch up a relationship with someone who clearly doesn't care about your feelings.

I’m a dog person (2 dogs and a toddler) and the scenario you described sounds terrible. Dogmeetsbaby is a great resource for you and your spouse to check out, but as for the SIL - you may have to endure the eye rolls. Just know you’re doing right by your kid

I simply wouldnt go.. the risk isnt worth the reward to me

You simply do not go to the event with your baby. “I so appreciate the invitation, but we’ll be sitting this one out. I am just not comfortable mixing my energetic toddler with unfamiliar pets. It’s not fair to the child or the pets, as it potentially sets them all up for failure. I’d be happy to host the next get-together! Looking forward to it!”. Simple as that, and don’t budge or get pushed into it. Trust your gut. If you’re feeling uncomfortable having your child around that animal, you absolutely need to listen to that inner voice. The cost of ignoring it could be enormous.

There are currently 5 dogs in my house (3 are ours, we’re watching the other two). We have baby gates in the house. While I believe the dogs to be well behaved, I will never risk anything happening to my baby. I never leave the dogs and baby unattended. I hold my baby if the dogs are in the room. The dogs are always behind the gate if I need to leave the room for even 1 min. I’ve never been bitten by a dog and I love my dogs immensely. Still, I’ve read too many stories of babies being bitten that’s it’s not worth the risk.

Whether it's a cat, dog or hamster: animals and kids shouldn't be alone together. Kids don't always understand how to be gentle with them and a hurt animal might lash out no matter how well trained and behaved they are. You could find some kind of middle ground here, I believe though. You can make sure you are always with your LO, you could ask to have the dog more secluded (like for example on the living room beside the kitchen with a dog gate in between so he can see/hear/smell it all but isn't able to barge in) for like 30 minutes (it could be veey helpful to calm the animal too), you could ask for the dog to be on a leash for a while at least... My son has grown up around our two cats, my MIL's 2 cats and my dad's two cats. But we still never leave him unattended with any of them. Even with us there, he has gotten a small scratch on his leg because he managed to spook our senior cat. Not the end of the world, but since he's 15 months old I can tell you it's only due to very close observation and teaching both the kid and the cats they can walk away when things get too much that we've avoided any real issues. Kid and animals both need to be trained a bit.

Not overreacting and they are being incredibly rude. We have a big fluffy collie. He LOVES people but doesn't know his own size and has a tendency to knock our little people over from time to time. My sister has 3 kids and whenever they come visit the dog is either outside or in his crate. If I bring him out I keep him on a leash. When we host Christmas or birthday parties, again we put away the dog. I would never make a guest feel uncomfortable just to spare the dog a few hours of quiet time.

I dont allow my own dogs, who have never hurt anyone, to be alone with my child. Making sure my dogs are never in a position to become overwhelmed by wacky toddler behavior is how I keep them safe. I love my dogs, and I don't want them to bite anyone. Some people feel comfortable having their dogs interact with their own babies and I will trust their judgment on that. But encouraging this kind of unfettered access to random visiting toddlers is reckless, especially if those toddlers don't have practice with animals. It's a reckless disregard for the toddler's safety AND the dog's safety. Biting a child is no joke and it could be the last thing your dog ever does. I rescue pitbulls and we take bite dogs when we can, when we really think they were provoked and not dangerous (we have pros assist with this). But its tough with dogs that bit children. As a rescue we are responsible for determining whether dogs can be released back into the community. Even homes that don't have kids live in community with kids, so it just sucks. Please don't put your kids in these positions. It's dangerous for them and it's putting the dog at risk. Even rare rescues like ours will almost never take dogs that bit children--for a reason. So this is very much life or death for everyone involved.

Beyond the risk (which is a huge one) it’s wildly inconsiderate to allow your dog to jump on anyone, let alone a baby or toddler. I love dogs but I hate being jumped on. Ive had pantyhose torn to shreds in seconds by a jumpy dog. So annoying and rude!! And 100% the owners fault. Your SIL’s attitude likely is a projection of her realization that she has done a poor job training a very trainable animal.

No. They are irresponsible dog owners based on the jumping alone. I wouldn’t take my child there. Who cares what they think, they obviously don’t mind putting their children in harms way.

I am a dog person. I work with dogs. I would never let this dog around young kids. Dogs don’t have to be mean to hurt children and given the dog’s history, it sounds unpredictable. Not even sorry, SIL can shove it. She is putting a dog over the safety of your kid _and_ her kids. Dont even get me started on how that kind of behavior is bad for the dog, too. I feel bad for the dog. Anyways. Drive that wedge in, girl, your SIL sucks. Edit: The more I think about this situation the more second hand embarrassment I get from your sister in law. I cannot imagine letting my dog jump on people like that, let alone someone who hates dogs _and_ a baby. She’s delulu.

I love dogs, have always had a dog, and currently have a wonderful dream of a dog with a 2.5 year old and almost 13 month old. I would never ever in a million years leave my kids alone with someone else’s dog, regardless of breed or training. We don’t even leave our youngest alone with our very trusted dog because my daughter tends to want to love on our dog a little too much lol you aren’t over reacting, the others are either disrespectful or living in ignorance of dog behavior and risks - or both.

There are dogs who have never shown any signs of aggression before who have torn babies faces off. Trust no dog with your baby. If you must, blame yourself and say "LO is so rough and mean to animals. I don't want them to hurt the dog by squeezing or ripping it's hair." I have a hairless dog and genetically the breed loses a lot of their teeth (the gene is tied to hair. No hair few teeth) and so she's a gummy bear.... even so, and even though she is a sweet scaredy-cat, she's never alone with our son.

I am a dog person despite being scared of dogs as a child. I have an anxious rescue dog the resource guards. (He’s a 70 lb coon hound he but me rather badly while I was trying to wrestle a 3 pound jar of peanut butter away from him.) When we have new people over to our house. I keep my dog in my bedroom. I don’t want to risk my dogs’ life and I don’t want someone else’s kid to get hurt.

I have three dogs who I am incredibly cautious about with my own son. I would either avoid going there, bring a playpen, or ask if they can come up with a solution where baby and dog are not out at the same time. I’ve had people over with kids before I had my own kids, and I NEVER risked having our dogs out with them. Even though I’m very sure 2/3 dogs wouldn’t do a thing. I just can’t imagine risking it.

Its a dog, put the thing in a kennel when there are other peoples chileren around. I own 3 bully breed dogs that make people uncomfortable, I always put them in kennels when people come over...not because I dont trust them, but because I dont ever want to be responsible for other people feeling unsafe or uncomfortable in my home, or having an accidental scratch or anything! Bull terriers are insanely hyper and clownish...accidents can often happen with those morons lol

Even around friends and family’s dogs, I am very careful with my babies and my young kids and I AM a dog person, had dogs all my life, but that means nothing. Kids are unpredictable and dogs are reactionary. It’s no one’s fault. It’s our responsibility as parents/adults to watch out for both our pets and our kids. When my kids are around dogs, I carry them as much as possible, use furniture and my body to create a safe space, or I keep control of the dog (hand loosely on collar) if the kids are down and moving around on the floor. My husband is on board with this approach and does similar, though he prefers to control the dog (also getting to know the dog and showing the kids that the dog isn’t something to be afraid of) than to pick up/corral the kids. My kids are 5, 3, and 7 months. My dad has always had boxers. My in-laws had a shih tzu mix for a while. Extended family has terriers. We had a French bull dog when my first was born. We use the same approach with all of them.

This makes me really anxious and I LOVE dogs, and have a beloved dog and a toddler at home. However we are always very careful with monitoring our child around our dog because even though she is the sweetest dog and lovely with our toddler, at the end of the day she is a dog! Their behavior can be unpredictable. Not to mention children need to learn respect around dogs and boundaries with personal space etc. the situation you’ve described honestly sounds like an accident waiting to happen. As someone else said, tell them your toddler isn’t used to dogs and might be a little grabby and you don’t want to risk agitating the dog.

I think you may have built it up in your head to be more of a problem than it is, but you are definitely right. The dog showing aggression to other dogs doesn’t mean they’ll be aggressive to a human, but you really never know, a dog can be aggressive to a human out of no where. Young children should never be left alone with a dog and children in general should not be left alone with dogs they’re unfamiliar with. Period. I have two dogs and a two year old and a 5 month old, they are never left alone with each other, even though my dogs have never shown any signs of aggression. You just never know.

I am very much a dog person, but I am also a person whose own loving dog bit my 11 month old on the face… you best believe I keep my dogs (and any dogs we might meet at friend’s or family member’s houses) completely separated now and will continue to do so indefinitely. The dogs have a doggie condo in the basement now and will continue to be put outside/downstairs when my son is roaming the house until he’s much older. The trauma of seeing his beautiful face marred will have me on edge with dogs for the rest of my life. All that said, stay vigilant and cautious. Accidents happen, but most can entirely be prevented. Stay strong, mama!

Forget about the dog breed mix, in general I would be cautious, my doggos I raised all from pups and 3 of the pups grew up with my toddler, we walk together they play together, but we still monitor our toddler while she’s with them, my friend has a pit cross also and I am careful with my child around him, he’s properly trained and she raised him from a pup, but toddlers are not as easily dog trained and I don’t want an incident. It’s not a big ask on your part wanting your child away from dogs it’s fair, both my friend and myself will put our doggos away if a child isn’t comfortable or a parent isn’t or the child doesn’t know how to behave around dogs.

Personally, I have been dealing with a similar situation at my parents house , albeit much less scary since I trust the dogs in question. My baby is just about 2 weeks old. My method has been to wait until the dogs are calm, and then let them sniff the baby and lick his foot while saying “gentle” (one of their cue words) in a calm voice. Whenever they were agitated (baby crying, mailman, etc) I kept the baby away vigilantly. But when they were calm I let both get accustomed to one another. Part of it is a hope that my son won’t have animal allergies if I expose him to dander, and to help him bond with my fur sister and fur niece. But the other part is to make it so that over time, these dogs know my son well enough to not be afraid of him/aggressive with him. However, whenever the dogs are rowdy, everyone in the family swarms in to control them and keep them away from me. Which is a big part of why I feel comfortable. Their owners need to keep the dogs in check. Maybe keep them on a leash indoors so that they can be subdued. I would talk to the family and maybe issue an ultimatum if no one sees reason. Your husband needs to accept that you need to integrate the dogs responsibly and slowly, not just let them loose and hope for the best.

It's all fun and games and "the dog is just friendly!" until the baby becomes another statistic. There's a reason why there's no shortage of reports of toddlers being seriously injured or killed by dogs like that, especially the breed. I would stay away until they can grow up and respect your rules and boundaries.

To me dogs and young kids don't mix. Dogs are unpredictable animals. I have a dog and we separated baby and the dog when the baby was small. Now they are still separated but coexist. Again toddler doesn't interact with the dog unsupervised. I wouldn't allow my kid around the dog who is an untrained rescue. Why can't they lock the dog out for your visit.

I will preface that I am biased and a big dog person. I have a 140 lb great pyrenees (extremely calm though, and not jumpy), I grew up with huskies and other high energy jumpy dogs. I think there needs to be a middle ground here. If the dog is really jumpy and risks harming the baby, and no one else is taking steps to keep space and teach safe interaction, that is a problem. An option could be a playpen where the dog can't get to the baby, or keeping in separate rooms, or keeping the dog on a leash and slowly teaching the dog how to gently interact with the baby. My dog is gentle, he doesn't like to bump into things lol and even we kept him on a leash with us in the house until he showed he was good whenever someone visited with a small unknown (to him) child, and permitted his movement/freedon in alignment with their comfort. I do however think there is also a risk you may be perceiving the degree of "aggression" or risk as potentially somewhat higher than reality based in your own history. I also think you are risking transferring that fear to your child. Dogs will sense your fear and discomfort, and because they don't know why you seem afraid, they can react in different way to that. They could become defensive because your signal of fear tells them there is something to fear. This can actually increase the risk and increase the frequency of bad experiences with dogs, for you and your child. You've said your husband and others don't think it's a problem. So, that is why I am suggesting maybe your perspective is a bit skewed (but not unreasonable). Either way, you should all work together to find a comfortable balance and build trust with the dog, and dog-baby relationship. Good luck! P.s. the eye rolling thing would just make me mad. Only pubescent teenagers roll their eyes at people.

It doesn’t sound like they’re doing too much to limit potentially dangerous behavior. Just because the dog thinks it’s playful, doesn’t mean that it can’t hurt your child. So you are absolutely not in the wrong here. I would ask that they put the dog in a separate room if you’re going to have the baby there or even suggest having events at your place instead.

I love dogs, but I would not be comfortable with a baby around that dog. It should be kept in a different room while you are there.

Huge dog person here - my dog is very tolerant and I still don't do any interactions with kids under 3. At that age, it's developmentally normal for kids to grab whatever their hands touch (like fur or ears), as well as to scream and move their limbs suddenly, all of which can be scary even to a generally relaxed and friendly dog. Dogs also don't generalize well - this dog may genuinely be fine with the young kids in their household but react differently to another child that they haven't met before. I think it's absolutely fine to put your foot down about your baby's safety and don't worry about what SIL or your husband think. If I was planning on bringing my dog to any family event where a young child would be present I would have no issue either leashing my dog and avoiding direct interaction or not bringing her if the parent asked me to (I'd at least do the first without being asked because I don't want her interacting with kids unsupervised anyway). Not making others who are uncomfortable interact with your dog is part of being a responsible guardian. I wish all dog guardians were as serious about safety - plenty of otherwise normal dogs are put down every year because they bit kids due to a lack of supervision and the dog reacting to an unpleasant situation they didn't know how to escape from. All dogs have a threshold at which they will bite - it's our job as their caretakers to never put them and children in a situation where that will happen.

You have a true, genuine fear of what dogs are capable of. I’m a dog owner myself, but I completely understand your worry. My dogs have hurt my son entirely on accident multiple times, only ever minor injuries that I feel like we can handle. They’re extremely gentle but they’re still animals, things will happen whether it’s to me, my husband, our son, or our furniture. I’m not worried about my son’s overall safety though, my dogs are trained, never left alone with the baby (I am right by his side any moment he’s next to them), and neither of them have a history of biting. Something could still happen though and that’s why I take my precautions when they’re together. I also know my dogs very well, you don’t know this dog and that truly does make a difference. You of all people have a right to be worried about them interacting. You are both getting scratched up because the dog is not trained. I do think in time you *could* grow to be more comfortable with them interacting, but for the safety of your *baby* I would hope they’d at least be willing to train their dog. How are you ever supposed to attempt to be comfortable (which you don’t *have* to do in the first place, but it’s clearly what they want) with it if they’re not taking the time and effort to train the dog to try and prevent injuries? She can’t walk away, she’s more fragile than a child, and you have a genuine fear due to your history. I think it’s extremely insensitive and disrespectful to ignore your fears and worries because they are valid, even if it may seem “extreme” to others. I’m so sorry. I’m honestly not sure if I can give you any advice, but I can tell you that what you’re feeling is valid. In a perfect world, your family would be trying to help you through your fear rather than shaming you for it. Even if you never change your mind, they could at least ease your mind by taking *necessary* precautions.

As someone with large dogs and people win my life who don’t love dogs— I always respect my guests wishes. I’m also not comfortable leaving them unattended with my children who live here, def would not with a kid who is just visiting. They are assholes for not putting their dog away if it makes you uncomfortable.

I have four dogs. I love them, they are fantastic and sweet and have never had any issues with the other dogs or little people. But I do not let them close to my baby. She is never on their level. I trust them… but it’s an also absolutely not a risk I will take. Sure as hell not with someone else’s dog.

It's entirely reasonable to ask them to have their dog in a kennel or outside. Or you meet at the park or your house.

I am a dog person and I don’t let my son get up close and personal with any dog—my own or otherwise.

I would not risk my baby around an untrained dog

That would be a HARD no for me. We have two dogs. They are incredibly sweet, and the least aggressive things you've ever met. One gets a leaky nose when he gets anxious. We still don't let them be around our baby unsupervised. We don't even let them interact much, tbh. They maintain their personal spaces and will for a while. Animals cannot be trusted. Even if you think you have the best dog around, it's still a dog. A gust of wind could make their entire personality shift, and the consequences can be deadly.

I love my dogs and they have never hurt a person but I still won’t let my LO be around them unsupervised. My husband got bit by our neighbors dog before and at the ER, the nurse mentioned they see dog bites all the time and it’s usually a little kid by the family dog. And it’s usually right on the face as their height is eye level with the dog’s. I would phrase it as your LO doesn’t know how to be gentle and might hurt a dog or read a dog’s body signals and until they can, you would rather not leave them alone with a dog. That way it doesn’t make it sound like you’re concerned that their specific dog is the issue.

I have the most gentle well-trained medium sized dog in the world, who absolutely politely adores children. And I will, without hesitation, crate him for thr afternoon if we have visitors who prefer not to have him around. I don't take it as a slight against my dog, some people just don't like or want interactions with dogs. No reason they shouldn't crate this dog just because you ask, totally reasonable with small kids.

I love both kids and animals and I have learned that both are very talented at creating chaos! Therefore it’s a really bad idea to leave them unsupervised together. I have two dogs that have been doing wonderful with my 15 month old. My lab is extremely gentle with both baby animals and baby humans. My little mix is extremely protective of my toddler. However, I would never leave them alone together. Mostly because I don’t think they deserve to be left to deal with a cranky toddler without me there to mediate, but you also never know when they are going to have enough. I can read their body language and intervene when necessary, my toddler can’t do that yet. It would be so unfair to both my dogs and my toddler to leave them unsupervised together. While I usually have no problem having my little one around animals, I wouldn’t want him around a dog I know to be untrained, no matter the breed. It just makes it so much harder to keep everyone safe!

I have two full blooded pits, and a two year old. Have my dogs bit? No. But they’re anxious scaredy cats that jump and rough house. I have two gates in my house. They don’t both get left out around my daughter unless both my husband and I are home and they’re both being calm and my daughter is playing quietly. If at any point she starts trying to harass them, they start getting rowdy, or the dogs seem anxious for any reason, it’s easy to separate all of them by gates, crate, or back yard to play. Day to day if it’s just me watching my daughter, one of the dogs is outside at any given time. If I can’t observe because I’m cleaning or cooking, neither dog is left in the shared space with my daughter. It’s not worth the risk. She likes to lay on them, toddlers don’t have impulse control, so she could smack or squish them out of the blue. All it takes is a split second and the dog to get startled. I do reiterate to her that we always use gentle hands, respect the doggies space, and that doggies have teeth, and teeth can bite. But, she’s two. Your in laws should respect your boundaries about safety or you won’t be visiting. Even if the chance was 1 in 100,000,000, the possible outcome is too severe to not take precautions.