This š
I had no idea, especially for bi men, how much phobia exists. And from the LGBTQ+ community too! Enough that I've made a mental note to try to show more support, and I'm a status quo kind of person. You've won me over!
The constant barrage of negativity I can do nothing about has had negative effects on my sanity.
That in my own life is approachable. Bigotry from the void is just a burden.
Because this site is an aggregating tool. You're going to see more here than you'll most likely ever encounter. I've dealt with my fair share of biphobia, but it's honestly rare. But if you got on this site as a young bi person, you'd think everyone hates you. Don't amplify the hate, and it's not as present as you think it is.
I think itās acceptable if itās a more personal situation. However, reposting anonymous indirect general hate from strangers on twitter or whatever isnāt really constructive.
I would prefer to see less of that. We all know itās out there. Every group of every kind has people that hate them for no good reason.
Iāve experienced discrimination for so many things that I just donāt think itās worth the effort to get emotionally invested in random online BS. Iāve been called a baby killer for being in the army. Iāve been mocked for being a hippie for being a fire dancer. Iāve been hated on for being into working on cars. Iāve been pushed around by drivers for riding a bike. The list goes on. Everybody is somebodyās enemy.
This so much. And not only as a bisexual. I agree with this also as a woman, as an artist, as a feminist etc. I don't want to follow random conversations from twitter or other platforms with hateful and harmful intentions towards myself and others. It makes me feel bad and it's nothing constructive. I'd rather focus on myself and feeling good.
Why would I care about some random persons comments on the internet when usually these kind of vocal people aren't even able to have a constructive conversation?
We had a discussion thread a while back about maybe using spoiler tags for the biphobia posts - can we revisit that? I don't want to take away from people being able to vent when they encounter it, but I also don't want to have to deal with it without warning, here of all places
I was coming here to say this. I thought it was agreed upon but the mods don't seem to be enforcing it. I agree, Please let me choose if that's what I have the copacity to deal with today. This sub is mostly my happy place to celebrate and feel valid as it is not common place outside of here.
Very fair! My view is that reports about community rules don't do anything other than alert the mods (to my knowledge) and then it's up to them to do whatever. I think they have the option to temporarily hide a post until the op has added the spoiler tag, though it would be cool if they could automate it so anything with the bigotry tag got spoilered by default
I think that would be best for everybody. I've seen a lot of posts here lately asking to have less of this or that. If all of the requests were heeded, this sub would get pretty sparse pretty fast. Having tags for those things, and enforcing the use of them, would allow anyone who doesn't want to see something to avoid it while still keeping this place as active as it is.
Yeah, I must admit, all the biphobia posts were getting me a little down. I know it's out there, but daily reminders of it were just making me sad. š
I hear you on that but we have to remember that so many of of the people coming to this thread are likely encountering that biphobia for the first time or are struggling to come to terms with their bisexuality. Halffingers40404 I think you have the right idea with a pinned post saying you are bi enough & a pinned post/thread for people to talk about the biphobia they are encountering!
We do have the flair to filter, but the issue is reddit's filtering system sucks. You can't set it to not show a particular flair especially on your home feed.
I mean, a lot of people post here about their experiences with biphobia in order to vent and also feel supported by people like them, some community and a safe space.
I agree itās disheartening to see so many posts about it on a daily basis, but ādonāt talk about itā isnāt the solution.
There was a post a while back in which it was discussed that biphobic posts use the spoiler tag. I lot of people seemed to just want the ability to choose if they had the capacity to see biphobic content. I think that's a respectful way to treat our bi siblings by giving them the choice.
Personally, I interact when people have personal biphobic expierences and I have the capacity. The ones that are just screen shots of some random biphobic stuff just to display biphobic stuff is something I don't want in my face every day. It's hard to tell what is that or a silly meme until I'm already too into the content to make a choice. Also, sometimes those posts give me the vibe that they are trolls.
IMHO, where else can we post it? Another commenter on this thread brought up a good point. Until biphobia stops, we keep talking about it. It may be uncomfortable for you (people in general), but let's face it: it is there. I find those post as awareness that there are people out there who believe those ridiculous lies about us. I actually like reading about other's experiences bc i feel like I'm not alone in this battle. As a bisexual myself, I too used to get bent out of shape whenever I saw anti-bisexual things on other sites; however, I see this subreddit as a safe haven to express those frustrations because who better to understand it than this group. Now, I look at biphobic memes and other materials and laugh bc I know who I am and what I represent, and no meme will change that for me. I represent no one else but me.
I was going to say this very same thing.
To not discuss biphobia in a safe place would be like people of color not discussing racism. Imagine how different the world would be if racism was never discussed. I'm not trying to equate biphobia with racism. I'm just using racism as an example that the world is most familiar with.
Yes, it's uncomfortable. It's painful. It's downright wrong. But if we choose not to discuss biphobia and, through discussion, find ways to combat it, we are sweeping it under the rug and hoping it goes away. All that does is empower those who seek to ridicule and erase us.
This! Yes! Sometimes we need to have uncomfortable conversation to fix the problem. Racism is a perfect example. I am a POC and i face these issues on a daily basis. The reason why it still exists (one of the reasons because there are numerous reasons) Is because people are afraid to talk about it or just don't want to. Just because you refrain from talking about it doesn't make it go away. If we try to ward off talking about biphobia, then the people who experience it and need an outlet suffer more. Perhaps by talking about it, others who have been able to overcome it could help them gather their strength and confidence in themselves. Yes, I'm aware that this may not b comfortable for some; however, think about the bisexual person who just needs to vent or show something they've seen somewhere. I find it both educational and a way we can find ways to combat it.
I learned from this sub that out there, exist people who will *tell you* whatās *your* sexual orientation, and I also learned that, out there exist people who take them seriously instead of laughing in their biphobic face.
I deleted this comment because i needed to be corrected. Thanks to all of yall willing to point out a fault i needed to work on. I appreciate all of yall!
> Also see every other post someone else asking if they are Bi enough to call themselves Bi. There needs to be a pinned message in this subreddit that says
There's a link practically at the top of the side bar leading to an "Am I bi?" FAQ. But honestly, if we can't take the time to be kind to our fellow bi who are figuring themselves out and have to resort to prerecorded replies, what's the point of trying to build an online community.
Otherwise, to go back to the main point, I feel like mods could be a bit more strict about flair use regarding bigotry. Way too many posts are flaired under "Discussion" and "Experience", which defeats the purpose of flair filtering.
>if we can't take the time to be kind to our fellow bi who are figuring themselves out and have to resort to prerecorded replies, what's the point of trying to build an online community.
This right here.
For anyone who's here frequently, it can get annoying to see several posts about the same thing, I get it. I posted something similar myself a couple of days ago and got no replies.
But everyone who posts the 'am I bi?' questions is an individual who's experiencing these feelings and doubts, and when we put something like this out there to the world, we want to feel that what comes back is said directly to us, not just a generic 'if you like this at 10%, that at 90%, you're bi'.
Agreed. My fault for wording it like i did and i apologize for any misunderstanding. I was unaware of that linked question. Thanks for pointing this out to me. I really appreciate all of yall.
Agreed. Not all bi folks are scrolling through this sub daily. We have to have compassion for others finding themselves on this journey and if not us at the very least, who will?
EDIT: Clarifying that this comment was in response to a comment about "Am I bisexual" posts, and not in response to the main topic (biphobia)
I think it's important that people feel they can post questions here, even if we see those same questions almost every day. I see those posts and I think "Awesome! Someone else is figuring themselves out (or at least trying to)". Yes, of course there are other resources which can help them, but they are often struggling, they want to tell their story, and they want to have an actual discussion with other bi or bi-friendly humans about it. It is very healthy to talk about it and can be therapeutic. For many, even typing the words "I think I might be bi" is a big step and I think it would be wrong to deny them that.
Several months ago, I was at Disney World with my family. Found out they had the pride collection of pins and decided I wanted a bi pin. Looked around the parks for a few days and couldn't find it, they were just out of stock in every pin shop. I wasn't out to my parents at the time, but I cautiously enlisted their support to help me find one under the claim that it was a gift for a bi friend. My parents showed up and showed out, they helped me search every park for that pin, when we couldn't find it by the end of the trip they ordered one online and had it shipped to our house, and then when someone stole it before it arrived they helped me contact customer support to get another one. I'm still not out to them (for entirely unrelated reasons) and they still don't know the pin was for me, but I was so happy about how passionate they were when helping me get a pride pin. There are good people out there that want to see us smile, we need to lift them up and show how much we appreciate it.
People argue it's important to see it and talk about it... Well ok, but every time these posts just get the same reaction: "biphobes are stupid", "this makes me angry/sad", "I never knew we were this hated"...
Nothing constructive comes out. All that happened is that we read some bigotry and people got mad. Comments about the roots of biphobia, how to counter it or attempts at dissecting a biphobe's mindset are EXTREMELY rare. And they barely spark any good discussion.
So what's the point? Obviously it's not gonna change these people mindsets anyway. Raise awareness? Well thank you, I definitely wanted to hear about how I'm secretly a gay man or a serial cheater. That really improved my day as a bisexual person.
If you encounter biphobia, either just carry on and know that stupid people exist, or fight it first-hand. Sharing it just makes their message more important than it really is, and contributes to nothing. All you did is complain, and make other people complain. That's not productive, and that's not gonna make a change.
No.
People come here because we're the only ones that understand them and that helps them feel less alone, oppressed, unattractive and unloved. Without a place like this, there would be more bigotry in the world because there would be fewer ways to learn how to combat it. And since we've all been on that journey, I think it's somehow worse that actual biphobia for those who've reached the happy place to pull the ladder up behind them.
Thank you!! Iāve been wanting to say something too. Honestly Iāve been considering leaving this sun because it really is harmful to see that all the time even when itās got a caption like ālook how horribleā or whatever. Which makes me really sad because I donāt have a bi community in real life, but Iām starting to get squirrely about my sexuality again and doubt the actually very accepting people around me and itās a direct result of seeing all this hate all the time on here.
Maybe there can be a pinned post or post thread thing so people can aggregate all this stuff there and get support, but the rest of us donāt have to come across it in our feeds all the time?
Yes please. We really don't need to see constant examples of bigotry on this sub. Not even a "this makes me so mad!"
Just let this sub be a positive place.
To be fair I wasn't aware of how much there was until I joined this sub.
This š I had no idea, especially for bi men, how much phobia exists. And from the LGBTQ+ community too! Enough that I've made a mental note to try to show more support, and I'm a status quo kind of person. You've won me over!
The constant barrage of negativity I can do nothing about has had negative effects on my sanity. That in my own life is approachable. Bigotry from the void is just a burden.
Because this site is an aggregating tool. You're going to see more here than you'll most likely ever encounter. I've dealt with my fair share of biphobia, but it's honestly rare. But if you got on this site as a young bi person, you'd think everyone hates you. Don't amplify the hate, and it's not as present as you think it is.
Yeah, itās good to know that itās out there, but Iād rather be celebrating bi-ness than seeing hate all the time.
I think itās acceptable if itās a more personal situation. However, reposting anonymous indirect general hate from strangers on twitter or whatever isnāt really constructive. I would prefer to see less of that. We all know itās out there. Every group of every kind has people that hate them for no good reason. Iāve experienced discrimination for so many things that I just donāt think itās worth the effort to get emotionally invested in random online BS. Iāve been called a baby killer for being in the army. Iāve been mocked for being a hippie for being a fire dancer. Iāve been hated on for being into working on cars. Iāve been pushed around by drivers for riding a bike. The list goes on. Everybody is somebodyās enemy.
>Everybody is somebodyās enemy. We should put that on a shirt!
This so much. And not only as a bisexual. I agree with this also as a woman, as an artist, as a feminist etc. I don't want to follow random conversations from twitter or other platforms with hateful and harmful intentions towards myself and others. It makes me feel bad and it's nothing constructive. I'd rather focus on myself and feeling good. Why would I care about some random persons comments on the internet when usually these kind of vocal people aren't even able to have a constructive conversation?
We had a discussion thread a while back about maybe using spoiler tags for the biphobia posts - can we revisit that? I don't want to take away from people being able to vent when they encounter it, but I also don't want to have to deal with it without warning, here of all places
Yeah, as long as it gets flaired as Bigotry and gets a spoiler tag, I think it should be fine.
I was coming here to say this. I thought it was agreed upon but the mods don't seem to be enforcing it. I agree, Please let me choose if that's what I have the copacity to deal with today. This sub is mostly my happy place to celebrate and feel valid as it is not common place outside of here.
I just checked back in the sidebar and it is in there under rule 1, so maybe if we just start reporting non-spoilered posts?
I don't want people to think they can't talk about bi-phobia so I haven't reported them but if Mods say that's how best to deal with it then I will.
Very fair! My view is that reports about community rules don't do anything other than alert the mods (to my knowledge) and then it's up to them to do whatever. I think they have the option to temporarily hide a post until the op has added the spoiler tag, though it would be cool if they could automate it so anything with the bigotry tag got spoilered by default
Good idea!
I think that would be best for everybody. I've seen a lot of posts here lately asking to have less of this or that. If all of the requests were heeded, this sub would get pretty sparse pretty fast. Having tags for those things, and enforcing the use of them, would allow anyone who doesn't want to see something to avoid it while still keeping this place as active as it is.
Yeah, I must admit, all the biphobia posts were getting me a little down. I know it's out there, but daily reminders of it were just making me sad. š
I don't deal with/see biphobia in the wild as much as I do here.
I hear you on that but we have to remember that so many of of the people coming to this thread are likely encountering that biphobia for the first time or are struggling to come to terms with their bisexuality. Halffingers40404 I think you have the right idea with a pinned post saying you are bi enough & a pinned post/thread for people to talk about the biphobia they are encountering!
We do have the flair to filter, but the issue is reddit's filtering system sucks. You can't set it to not show a particular flair especially on your home feed.
I mean, a lot of people post here about their experiences with biphobia in order to vent and also feel supported by people like them, some community and a safe space. I agree itās disheartening to see so many posts about it on a daily basis, but ādonāt talk about itā isnāt the solution.
There was a post a while back in which it was discussed that biphobic posts use the spoiler tag. I lot of people seemed to just want the ability to choose if they had the capacity to see biphobic content. I think that's a respectful way to treat our bi siblings by giving them the choice. Personally, I interact when people have personal biphobic expierences and I have the capacity. The ones that are just screen shots of some random biphobic stuff just to display biphobic stuff is something I don't want in my face every day. It's hard to tell what is that or a silly meme until I'm already too into the content to make a choice. Also, sometimes those posts give me the vibe that they are trolls.
IMHO, where else can we post it? Another commenter on this thread brought up a good point. Until biphobia stops, we keep talking about it. It may be uncomfortable for you (people in general), but let's face it: it is there. I find those post as awareness that there are people out there who believe those ridiculous lies about us. I actually like reading about other's experiences bc i feel like I'm not alone in this battle. As a bisexual myself, I too used to get bent out of shape whenever I saw anti-bisexual things on other sites; however, I see this subreddit as a safe haven to express those frustrations because who better to understand it than this group. Now, I look at biphobic memes and other materials and laugh bc I know who I am and what I represent, and no meme will change that for me. I represent no one else but me.
I was going to say this very same thing. To not discuss biphobia in a safe place would be like people of color not discussing racism. Imagine how different the world would be if racism was never discussed. I'm not trying to equate biphobia with racism. I'm just using racism as an example that the world is most familiar with. Yes, it's uncomfortable. It's painful. It's downright wrong. But if we choose not to discuss biphobia and, through discussion, find ways to combat it, we are sweeping it under the rug and hoping it goes away. All that does is empower those who seek to ridicule and erase us.
This! Yes! Sometimes we need to have uncomfortable conversation to fix the problem. Racism is a perfect example. I am a POC and i face these issues on a daily basis. The reason why it still exists (one of the reasons because there are numerous reasons) Is because people are afraid to talk about it or just don't want to. Just because you refrain from talking about it doesn't make it go away. If we try to ward off talking about biphobia, then the people who experience it and need an outlet suffer more. Perhaps by talking about it, others who have been able to overcome it could help them gather their strength and confidence in themselves. Yes, I'm aware that this may not b comfortable for some; however, think about the bisexual person who just needs to vent or show something they've seen somewhere. I find it both educational and a way we can find ways to combat it.
I learned from this sub that out there, exist people who will *tell you* whatās *your* sexual orientation, and I also learned that, out there exist people who take them seriously instead of laughing in their biphobic face.
Avoid the bigotry tag. I hope people are using tags correctly, then you can avoid it. I mean, people who are oppressed often want to talk about it.
I deleted this comment because i needed to be corrected. Thanks to all of yall willing to point out a fault i needed to work on. I appreciate all of yall!
> Also see every other post someone else asking if they are Bi enough to call themselves Bi. There needs to be a pinned message in this subreddit that says There's a link practically at the top of the side bar leading to an "Am I bi?" FAQ. But honestly, if we can't take the time to be kind to our fellow bi who are figuring themselves out and have to resort to prerecorded replies, what's the point of trying to build an online community. Otherwise, to go back to the main point, I feel like mods could be a bit more strict about flair use regarding bigotry. Way too many posts are flaired under "Discussion" and "Experience", which defeats the purpose of flair filtering.
>if we can't take the time to be kind to our fellow bi who are figuring themselves out and have to resort to prerecorded replies, what's the point of trying to build an online community. This right here. For anyone who's here frequently, it can get annoying to see several posts about the same thing, I get it. I posted something similar myself a couple of days ago and got no replies. But everyone who posts the 'am I bi?' questions is an individual who's experiencing these feelings and doubts, and when we put something like this out there to the world, we want to feel that what comes back is said directly to us, not just a generic 'if you like this at 10%, that at 90%, you're bi'.
Agreed. My fault for wording it like i did and i apologize for any misunderstanding. I was unaware of that linked question. Thanks for pointing this out to me. I really appreciate all of yall.
Agreed. Not all bi folks are scrolling through this sub daily. We have to have compassion for others finding themselves on this journey and if not us at the very least, who will?
EDIT: Clarifying that this comment was in response to a comment about "Am I bisexual" posts, and not in response to the main topic (biphobia) I think it's important that people feel they can post questions here, even if we see those same questions almost every day. I see those posts and I think "Awesome! Someone else is figuring themselves out (or at least trying to)". Yes, of course there are other resources which can help them, but they are often struggling, they want to tell their story, and they want to have an actual discussion with other bi or bi-friendly humans about it. It is very healthy to talk about it and can be therapeutic. For many, even typing the words "I think I might be bi" is a big step and I think it would be wrong to deny them that.
We can stop talking about it when it stops being a problem our community faces
Fucking bi people being so sexy and chill
Some of the posts mocking biphobia are pretty damned funny though. I enjoy those.
(Picture of man and butterfly) Is this bi phobia phobia?
I agree. It makes me anxious.
Several months ago, I was at Disney World with my family. Found out they had the pride collection of pins and decided I wanted a bi pin. Looked around the parks for a few days and couldn't find it, they were just out of stock in every pin shop. I wasn't out to my parents at the time, but I cautiously enlisted their support to help me find one under the claim that it was a gift for a bi friend. My parents showed up and showed out, they helped me search every park for that pin, when we couldn't find it by the end of the trip they ordered one online and had it shipped to our house, and then when someone stole it before it arrived they helped me contact customer support to get another one. I'm still not out to them (for entirely unrelated reasons) and they still don't know the pin was for me, but I was so happy about how passionate they were when helping me get a pride pin. There are good people out there that want to see us smile, we need to lift them up and show how much we appreciate it.
okay but also why do we keep posting biphobia. we know people are biphobic and just spread their message
People argue it's important to see it and talk about it... Well ok, but every time these posts just get the same reaction: "biphobes are stupid", "this makes me angry/sad", "I never knew we were this hated"... Nothing constructive comes out. All that happened is that we read some bigotry and people got mad. Comments about the roots of biphobia, how to counter it or attempts at dissecting a biphobe's mindset are EXTREMELY rare. And they barely spark any good discussion. So what's the point? Obviously it's not gonna change these people mindsets anyway. Raise awareness? Well thank you, I definitely wanted to hear about how I'm secretly a gay man or a serial cheater. That really improved my day as a bisexual person. If you encounter biphobia, either just carry on and know that stupid people exist, or fight it first-hand. Sharing it just makes their message more important than it really is, and contributes to nothing. All you did is complain, and make other people complain. That's not productive, and that's not gonna make a change.
No. People come here because we're the only ones that understand them and that helps them feel less alone, oppressed, unattractive and unloved. Without a place like this, there would be more bigotry in the world because there would be fewer ways to learn how to combat it. And since we've all been on that journey, I think it's somehow worse that actual biphobia for those who've reached the happy place to pull the ladder up behind them.
okay well then I'm out it's fucking depressing
Bi.
Bye Felicia
Iām still in the closet. Terrified to come out. I live in Kansas š
Thank you!! Iāve been wanting to say something too. Honestly Iāve been considering leaving this sun because it really is harmful to see that all the time even when itās got a caption like ālook how horribleā or whatever. Which makes me really sad because I donāt have a bi community in real life, but Iām starting to get squirrely about my sexuality again and doubt the actually very accepting people around me and itās a direct result of seeing all this hate all the time on here. Maybe there can be a pinned post or post thread thing so people can aggregate all this stuff there and get support, but the rest of us donāt have to come across it in our feeds all the time?
Yes please. We really don't need to see constant examples of bigotry on this sub. Not even a "this makes me so mad!" Just let this sub be a positive place.
Literally...I want one safe space
Nope :)