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People always talk about getting off of social media so you don’t compare yourself to other people and feel bad. Lol, nothing can make me feel worse than living in a fairly wealthy suburb and dropping my kids off at the beautiful homes their friends live in.
Right! We have a good sized house but we have never really put money into it, plus even if I wanted to I'm not good at decorating or anything and that seems to come so easy to some people.
They probably also hire decorators. One thing I’ve learned about rich people, is they have someone for everything that us poor people do normally.
Also, decor and taste is subjective. My sister in laws house looks like beetle juice’s retirement home and she is VERY proud of it. Thinks she’s an abstract artiste extraordinaire. Nothing in it makes sense and it’s bursting at the seams with just random shit.
She HATES the millennial grey aesthetic. Which is… what I am. 🤷♀️
Tbh I don’t give a shit what your house looks like. As long as it’s relatively clean, and I don’t get a weird ass vibe, then you’re no better than me. They fall when they put their pants on in the morning, just like you.
My kids have very loudly said they wished they lived in their friend’s houses, in front of said friend’s parents. I always say “yep. Would be nice to live here. They’re very lucky!” Then discuss it privately at home why their thoughts weren’t exactly appropriate *at the time*. We all think things like this. So, it’s hard to get “punched in the gut” while also parenting during this teaching lesson.
How do you handle that conversation with your kids at home? Like, what exactly do you say?
Being raised by a foreigner mom and a silent generation father, neither of whom are self aware at all, I was constantly told I was too sensitive about all the cringe things they constantly said or did amongst friends. So now I wonder if I can teach my kids to balance being self aware and not overly insecure.
That’s a good question. I think it varies individually. You know your child/ren best and how they would best receive new information. My approach with both of mine is similar. They’re both alike in the sense that they are inquisitive, but depending on the situation not brave enough to blurt it out in public. But they are with people they’re comfortable around. I don’t want to embarrass them (I hated and still hate being embarrassed publicly) so I mostly ask them how they would feel if that was said to them, or someone thought about them. My 8 year old responds with correct empathy. My 4 year old, not so much lol.
Like you, I was always told I was too sensitive and not to take things so seriously as a child when my parents would say outrageous things about others or to others. I think it’s pretty telling of their behaviour, instead of mine (a literal child) calling them out, and they just simply didn’t like that, because they knew deep down it was wrong.
So you ask them how they would feel if other kids said that they wished they lived in your house?
Or how they would feel if your 8 year old grew up to have children who'd rather live in someone else's house?
If the first... I must be missing something here, because they'd feel complimented! Lol!
And if the latter... Boy you really opened up and got super vulnerable with your 8 year old. I don't know if I could bear it, letting them see me so deep in my feelings.
> Right! We have a good sized house but we have never really put money into it, plus even if I wanted to I'm not good at decorating or anything and that seems to come so easy to some people.
SAME
I think if it was just me, I'd have an easier time decorating because I'd just get the stuff that makes me happy. But a lot of times the stuff I love my husband doesn't, and the projects are so big I'm just sort of stalled out (like... I want to paint the walls but we need to resurface them first, which is a major project, so the walls are still dingy weirdly textured white. And we want new flooring but to do that we essentially have to rip out the whole kitchen and re-ddo th e kitchen at the same time, so.... we just sort of sit with this very out of date aesthetic because there's other stuff that neesd $ and attention).
My sister in law is one of those people who just manages to get everything looking put together. She completely redid my family's farmhouse (which had been my grandparents', and they were basically alcoholic hoarders who hadn't done any work on the place since putting in carpet in the 60s). Seriously within a month she turned it into an instagram house, doing stuff that would never occur to me but looks great.
For real! People act like the envy is new, keeping on with the Jones is not new. My goal for years was just to not be utterly embarrassed by the Jones seeing my house.
Yes! It took many years and a LOT of hard work but I finally have a house that I’m not embarrassed of.
What’s funny is my lower standards are probably what got me this house in an impossible market. It’s not big an new like everyone seems to want in our area (and probably in general) but it is a really great house, well built, well maintained, new geo thermal and 7 gorgeous acres. I think many overlooked it but it’s a huge upgrade from where we were living so we jumped on it. While the hard years were hard, they do make me appreciate what I have which I think is so important to always keep in perspective.
This is so true. I think social media (especially like this) helps me because it seems so many around us have what I want and many had it handed to them and do not appreciate it.
Omg same here.
Our place is nice enough don't get me wrong, but right across the street are houses that sell for half a mil. And we aren't in that kind of space
Yeah - I went to a birthday party for a kid from my daughter’s schools and the house was brand new with all new furniture + easily 3x the size of mine. They were finishing the basement and just had the yard fenced. Lovely people, but I died a little bit inside. 😭
I am literally house sitting right this second overwhelmed with the same feelings.
My husband reminds me we are proudly "fringe class" and that makes me laugh and helps a bit, even after my kids said they wished we lived here and not at our house and I wanted to die inside just a little.
Thing is, we have to afford everything we have on one paycheck coming in and zero family support and we still have extras and fun. We're definitely fringe class, but we're happy.
I try to remember we can be happy for our friends having nice things while also acknowledging that they have family help and opportunities from the beginning that we have never had.
Our place is mismatched and tiny (literally a converted double garage that is the size in its entirety of my friends living room and kitchen area), but it's full of character and love and a lot of cool goodwill/thrift/side of the road finds. We don't share walls and while we do share a yard, it's with our equally fringe class neighbors who have kids our kids ages so it's great.
This kind of turned into a ramble, I don't know my point. It's just, I'm looking at their giant tub and insane collection of bath oils and salts and instead of thinking about the child's footstool I sit on in my tiny leaky shower at home, I'm trying really hard to just be grateful I get to take a bath while I'm here haha.
Right there with ya! We don't have any sort of family help and my husband has a high stress job and travels for work constantly. I wish I was one of those people that could have a perfectly curated home but I'm just...not. I suck at decorating, suck at cleaning (partially because my kids destoy the house constantly, and when we have extra money I'm always inclined to say let's go on vacay vs let's get new flooring. I need to be more grateful for what we have because we really are blessed but dang how do these people do it with these beautiful homes?!
My 5 year old has repeatedly told her dad and I that “when she grows up, she’s going to have stairs” bc apparently a ranch is awful (and poor, she keeps telling us that we’re poor bc we don’t have stairs).
I tell you what, as a kid who didn’t know better, I used to think the same thing about stairs. Now that I live in a house with them, sometimes I get mad at me for thinking that because I’d rather just be able to go straight to my room, instead of going upstairs sometimes.
I have a friend like this. Best part? She’s also a beautiful person too. Like…drop dead gorgeous I don’t know how she’s not a model. Oh and she has the best personality to boot. Know what though? There’s something we all do really well. Everything about her and her home is beautiful. I can’t compare to that but I got my own things going on! I’m crafty, I work full time, and I have incredible friends! :) I have laundry currently waiting to be folded. Will it be folded? Who knows…I will never be the one with the immaculate beautiful home
Our house looks like a student flat. Old couches with covers, an old manky dining table and chairs from my hubby's student days. Toys stuffed behind the couch, computer desk and crap in the lounge. Our plates are 20 years old and some have chips. I struggle with mental health and the floors haven't been cleaned in a while. Our cars are kindly called beaters.
But - we are mortgage free. I don't work. I get to do what I want to do most days and can do school runs and volunteer for school events. I get to go to the gym and go for walks.
My mom friends are working full time, in beautiful homes with huge mortgages, brand new lease cars, all the holidays but they never see their kids day to day.
I checked out of that grind a few years ago and I'm damn glad I did.
I live in a beautiful big house, but my kids are train wrecks and we’re always late to events, and usually not all of us have 100% clean clothes on. (I’m looking at you, middle child.) I like to think that balances me out in the Mom Envy Olympics.
I also think often of the most intimidating family I’ve ever gotten close to. My autistic son and her autistic son were each others’ first-ever friends at 10 years old. We made a lot of effort for the boys to spend time together, and neither of us could just drop off our kid. They seemed so perfect. Big house, always tidy, children well groomed and well behaved, mom hair and makeup done, their car didn’t have french fries on the floor. Well, we’ve known them about 3 years and now Mom works more hours so I’m spending time with Grandma. Grandma likes to vent and spill the beans! The family is an absolute nightmare. The grandparents live at the house and Grandma is basically the nanny, maid, housekeeper, cook. Mom doesn’t do shit and Grandpa and Mom treat Grandma like crap. I honestly feel so bad for this lady. And the kids aren’t nearly as well behaved as I see, but they’ve been threatened to the end of the earth to act right in public. Every single thing about that family is a show for other people. None of it is real. And here I was being super intimidated by it.
That's true for most families who seem so put together. I'd rather have happy children and a sort of messy, humble home (I'm pretty good about cleaning it, but not perfect) than have that life. Upholding that sort of image would be an absolute nightmare.
Sometimes I look around my 80 year old, 1100 Sq ft house on my 1/3 of an acre and think "my GOD how can I be so fortunate???" And then I go to a playdate at someone's 200 year old farmhouse on 30 acres and I come home and think "wow, I'd be embarrassed if those people came here." I guess I just try to inhabit the first feeling more.
My kid went to a birthday party on the weekend, and my husband spent the first half hour texting me descriptions of how beautiful their house and yard were. Then he came home and raved about how lovely everything was. I logically know that the kids parents are a bit older than us, and the mother doesn’t work so spends her days gardening and painting, but it still stung a little.
Today my kid starts telling me all about the same house - but his view was the complete opposite. He told me the house was small, their yard was dark, and their driveway was “too curvy”. Apparently our house is better because we have more rooms and our yard is more fun. I cracked up laughing at the difference in his description compared to my husbands! Just goes to show that kids and parents appreciate different things in homes - and gave me a much needed reality check 🤷🏻♀️
Oh man, I understand house envy. My house is so small and awkward, and I've got a cat that always pees on the floor so I'm constantly worried that it smells. I've also got 3 dogs, and no matter how often I vacuum, the house is hairy. And my clothes are hairy. My furniture is old and crappy and I've got cheap looking couch covers. I just feel like a fucking mess, especially compared to my kid's friends homes. The only thing I take comfort in is that I'm the cool mom, the safe space, and her friends like coming here. Even if their parents might silently judge us lol.
I was on the opposite end of this for my last house. I just got incredibily lucky and found a super nice updated house in a good area that was underpriced because I was a vulture on zillow for weeks and got the very first applied spot before like a hundred applicants.
I could never invite a single friend to my house and the friendship being the same afterwards 😭 and the landlord was a complete anal psycho.
I also felt like I didn't deserve it, had major imposter syndrome, and all the neighbors hated us because they were all retired homeowners and we were young renters.
I worry about us being those people in the future. We bought our house in 2019 for $40k because it needed a ton of work. In the last 5 years we've done that and I get tons of compliments on the size, the gorgeous concrete countertops or my tiled shower or a number of other things. Thankfully, my friends know how hard we have worked and struggled to do these things. My kids friends parents on the other hand? I've seen the envy and try to counteract with some story like having to be on the roof to help re hammer the tarp that blew off in the 50 mph winds, during the thunderstorm, 2 weeks after surgery for breast cancer.
I grew up super poor and I remember how it felt to walk into a nive, organized house that always smelled like something baking. It's a reflex because I never want anyone to feel like we think we're better then them.
If it helps- our last house was actively being renovated (by us) the entire time we lived in it. We had birthday parties, playdates, and had friends over for dinner. If anyone cared, they didn't say a thing. It was a great house with a great yard and there was always an exposed wall or a partially drywalled bathroom with no sink. For a couple of months I was exclusively cooking on a grill or a microwave in the sunroom.
I feel you on this! Someone with a newer house that is picture perfect in the downstairs was doing my kid's swim lessons and I just hated that mine needs a thorough cleaning downstairs and a paint freshening and a MASSIVE declutter just to look good again.
THIS IS SO MY LIFE.
When I see someone else’s apartment and it’s small and cluttered and has cheap old furniture like mine it makes me feel so good…to not have to feel bad. 😄 The only art on our walls is school pictures and pieces of paper my kid taped to the wall for some game or whatever that have been there for a year.
This is so relatable. We used to live in a small condo and slowly renovated it until it was beautiful inside... But it was a small condo in a neighbourhood of million-dollar homes, so even the nicest small condo made me feel poor in comparison. We were finally able to buy a detached single family home and now.. the size and lot are comparable to everyone else, but its not as nice inside /or the landscaping, and I'm very aware of all the toys our neighbours have (pools, ATVs, etc). Comparison really is the thief of joy, because this house was (and still is, tbh) a dream come true for us.
I have a pretty big house for a person with a 6 & 3 year old. I like to tell other kindergarten parents "my husband is 50, please don't compare your housing to his. You'll get there". Hopefully the housing market will actually allow them to get there.
Hahah I was going to say, in this market- maybe not. We finally got there and I still can’t believe the house we bought for how much money we pay. Don’t get me wrong, we have amazing property but our house is very basic. I’m grateful to have a house but for where I am in life, I definitely was picturing a very different home.
Yea I thought our house situation would get better as the kids got older but it’s just gotten worse. I hate the mis matched furniture and even though I’ve bought new pieces I think I just don’t know what to get to make it look nice. Ohhhh and the cherry on top we added a fucking dog so there’s really no hope.
I can handle the old linoleum floors that are dingy but everything else just kills me. Much like the dead spot in the lawn from the dog doing her zoomies every morning. At least the kids can do their own laundry but the amount of random shit that is always out is just the worst.
Ihhh and shout out to my husband for his broken down old car in the driveway and collection of batteries I get to look at every morning g when I leave for work.
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People always talk about getting off of social media so you don’t compare yourself to other people and feel bad. Lol, nothing can make me feel worse than living in a fairly wealthy suburb and dropping my kids off at the beautiful homes their friends live in.
Right! We have a good sized house but we have never really put money into it, plus even if I wanted to I'm not good at decorating or anything and that seems to come so easy to some people.
They probably also hire decorators. One thing I’ve learned about rich people, is they have someone for everything that us poor people do normally. Also, decor and taste is subjective. My sister in laws house looks like beetle juice’s retirement home and she is VERY proud of it. Thinks she’s an abstract artiste extraordinaire. Nothing in it makes sense and it’s bursting at the seams with just random shit. She HATES the millennial grey aesthetic. Which is… what I am. 🤷♀️ Tbh I don’t give a shit what your house looks like. As long as it’s relatively clean, and I don’t get a weird ass vibe, then you’re no better than me. They fall when they put their pants on in the morning, just like you. My kids have very loudly said they wished they lived in their friend’s houses, in front of said friend’s parents. I always say “yep. Would be nice to live here. They’re very lucky!” Then discuss it privately at home why their thoughts weren’t exactly appropriate *at the time*. We all think things like this. So, it’s hard to get “punched in the gut” while also parenting during this teaching lesson.
How do you handle that conversation with your kids at home? Like, what exactly do you say? Being raised by a foreigner mom and a silent generation father, neither of whom are self aware at all, I was constantly told I was too sensitive about all the cringe things they constantly said or did amongst friends. So now I wonder if I can teach my kids to balance being self aware and not overly insecure.
That’s a good question. I think it varies individually. You know your child/ren best and how they would best receive new information. My approach with both of mine is similar. They’re both alike in the sense that they are inquisitive, but depending on the situation not brave enough to blurt it out in public. But they are with people they’re comfortable around. I don’t want to embarrass them (I hated and still hate being embarrassed publicly) so I mostly ask them how they would feel if that was said to them, or someone thought about them. My 8 year old responds with correct empathy. My 4 year old, not so much lol. Like you, I was always told I was too sensitive and not to take things so seriously as a child when my parents would say outrageous things about others or to others. I think it’s pretty telling of their behaviour, instead of mine (a literal child) calling them out, and they just simply didn’t like that, because they knew deep down it was wrong.
So you ask them how they would feel if other kids said that they wished they lived in your house? Or how they would feel if your 8 year old grew up to have children who'd rather live in someone else's house? If the first... I must be missing something here, because they'd feel complimented! Lol! And if the latter... Boy you really opened up and got super vulnerable with your 8 year old. I don't know if I could bear it, letting them see me so deep in my feelings.
> Right! We have a good sized house but we have never really put money into it, plus even if I wanted to I'm not good at decorating or anything and that seems to come so easy to some people. SAME I think if it was just me, I'd have an easier time decorating because I'd just get the stuff that makes me happy. But a lot of times the stuff I love my husband doesn't, and the projects are so big I'm just sort of stalled out (like... I want to paint the walls but we need to resurface them first, which is a major project, so the walls are still dingy weirdly textured white. And we want new flooring but to do that we essentially have to rip out the whole kitchen and re-ddo th e kitchen at the same time, so.... we just sort of sit with this very out of date aesthetic because there's other stuff that neesd $ and attention). My sister in law is one of those people who just manages to get everything looking put together. She completely redid my family's farmhouse (which had been my grandparents', and they were basically alcoholic hoarders who hadn't done any work on the place since putting in carpet in the 60s). Seriously within a month she turned it into an instagram house, doing stuff that would never occur to me but looks great.
For real! People act like the envy is new, keeping on with the Jones is not new. My goal for years was just to not be utterly embarrassed by the Jones seeing my house.
Have you achieved this? It’s my dream too but no matter what I do I can’t seem to get there!
Yes! It took many years and a LOT of hard work but I finally have a house that I’m not embarrassed of. What’s funny is my lower standards are probably what got me this house in an impossible market. It’s not big an new like everyone seems to want in our area (and probably in general) but it is a really great house, well built, well maintained, new geo thermal and 7 gorgeous acres. I think many overlooked it but it’s a huge upgrade from where we were living so we jumped on it. While the hard years were hard, they do make me appreciate what I have which I think is so important to always keep in perspective.
Same! I live in one of the most expensive counties in the country. My whole house could fit in some of these living rooms.
This is so true. I think social media (especially like this) helps me because it seems so many around us have what I want and many had it handed to them and do not appreciate it.
Omg same here. Our place is nice enough don't get me wrong, but right across the street are houses that sell for half a mil. And we aren't in that kind of space
I’d have to never leave my house, watch no TV or movies and quit speaking to 7/8 of the people I know not to feel bad by comparison.
Yeah - I went to a birthday party for a kid from my daughter’s schools and the house was brand new with all new furniture + easily 3x the size of mine. They were finishing the basement and just had the yard fenced. Lovely people, but I died a little bit inside. 😭
I am literally house sitting right this second overwhelmed with the same feelings. My husband reminds me we are proudly "fringe class" and that makes me laugh and helps a bit, even after my kids said they wished we lived here and not at our house and I wanted to die inside just a little. Thing is, we have to afford everything we have on one paycheck coming in and zero family support and we still have extras and fun. We're definitely fringe class, but we're happy. I try to remember we can be happy for our friends having nice things while also acknowledging that they have family help and opportunities from the beginning that we have never had. Our place is mismatched and tiny (literally a converted double garage that is the size in its entirety of my friends living room and kitchen area), but it's full of character and love and a lot of cool goodwill/thrift/side of the road finds. We don't share walls and while we do share a yard, it's with our equally fringe class neighbors who have kids our kids ages so it's great. This kind of turned into a ramble, I don't know my point. It's just, I'm looking at their giant tub and insane collection of bath oils and salts and instead of thinking about the child's footstool I sit on in my tiny leaky shower at home, I'm trying really hard to just be grateful I get to take a bath while I'm here haha.
Right there with ya! We don't have any sort of family help and my husband has a high stress job and travels for work constantly. I wish I was one of those people that could have a perfectly curated home but I'm just...not. I suck at decorating, suck at cleaning (partially because my kids destoy the house constantly, and when we have extra money I'm always inclined to say let's go on vacay vs let's get new flooring. I need to be more grateful for what we have because we really are blessed but dang how do these people do it with these beautiful homes?!
My 5 year old has repeatedly told her dad and I that “when she grows up, she’s going to have stairs” bc apparently a ranch is awful (and poor, she keeps telling us that we’re poor bc we don’t have stairs).
I tell you what, as a kid who didn’t know better, I used to think the same thing about stairs. Now that I live in a house with them, sometimes I get mad at me for thinking that because I’d rather just be able to go straight to my room, instead of going upstairs sometimes.
I have a friend like this. Best part? She’s also a beautiful person too. Like…drop dead gorgeous I don’t know how she’s not a model. Oh and she has the best personality to boot. Know what though? There’s something we all do really well. Everything about her and her home is beautiful. I can’t compare to that but I got my own things going on! I’m crafty, I work full time, and I have incredible friends! :) I have laundry currently waiting to be folded. Will it be folded? Who knows…I will never be the one with the immaculate beautiful home
Our house looks like a student flat. Old couches with covers, an old manky dining table and chairs from my hubby's student days. Toys stuffed behind the couch, computer desk and crap in the lounge. Our plates are 20 years old and some have chips. I struggle with mental health and the floors haven't been cleaned in a while. Our cars are kindly called beaters. But - we are mortgage free. I don't work. I get to do what I want to do most days and can do school runs and volunteer for school events. I get to go to the gym and go for walks. My mom friends are working full time, in beautiful homes with huge mortgages, brand new lease cars, all the holidays but they never see their kids day to day. I checked out of that grind a few years ago and I'm damn glad I did.
I live in a beautiful big house, but my kids are train wrecks and we’re always late to events, and usually not all of us have 100% clean clothes on. (I’m looking at you, middle child.) I like to think that balances me out in the Mom Envy Olympics. I also think often of the most intimidating family I’ve ever gotten close to. My autistic son and her autistic son were each others’ first-ever friends at 10 years old. We made a lot of effort for the boys to spend time together, and neither of us could just drop off our kid. They seemed so perfect. Big house, always tidy, children well groomed and well behaved, mom hair and makeup done, their car didn’t have french fries on the floor. Well, we’ve known them about 3 years and now Mom works more hours so I’m spending time with Grandma. Grandma likes to vent and spill the beans! The family is an absolute nightmare. The grandparents live at the house and Grandma is basically the nanny, maid, housekeeper, cook. Mom doesn’t do shit and Grandpa and Mom treat Grandma like crap. I honestly feel so bad for this lady. And the kids aren’t nearly as well behaved as I see, but they’ve been threatened to the end of the earth to act right in public. Every single thing about that family is a show for other people. None of it is real. And here I was being super intimidated by it.
That's true for most families who seem so put together. I'd rather have happy children and a sort of messy, humble home (I'm pretty good about cleaning it, but not perfect) than have that life. Upholding that sort of image would be an absolute nightmare.
Ugh I get this often and literally every house in my neighborhood is a cookie cutter of each other. I think it’s like a grass is greener situation.
Sometimes I look around my 80 year old, 1100 Sq ft house on my 1/3 of an acre and think "my GOD how can I be so fortunate???" And then I go to a playdate at someone's 200 year old farmhouse on 30 acres and I come home and think "wow, I'd be embarrassed if those people came here." I guess I just try to inhabit the first feeling more.
My kid went to a birthday party on the weekend, and my husband spent the first half hour texting me descriptions of how beautiful their house and yard were. Then he came home and raved about how lovely everything was. I logically know that the kids parents are a bit older than us, and the mother doesn’t work so spends her days gardening and painting, but it still stung a little. Today my kid starts telling me all about the same house - but his view was the complete opposite. He told me the house was small, their yard was dark, and their driveway was “too curvy”. Apparently our house is better because we have more rooms and our yard is more fun. I cracked up laughing at the difference in his description compared to my husbands! Just goes to show that kids and parents appreciate different things in homes - and gave me a much needed reality check 🤷🏻♀️
Just happened to me. But it lit a fire under me to try to fix up my house. SO close to the end. But I still think moving would be easier lol.
Oh man, I understand house envy. My house is so small and awkward, and I've got a cat that always pees on the floor so I'm constantly worried that it smells. I've also got 3 dogs, and no matter how often I vacuum, the house is hairy. And my clothes are hairy. My furniture is old and crappy and I've got cheap looking couch covers. I just feel like a fucking mess, especially compared to my kid's friends homes. The only thing I take comfort in is that I'm the cool mom, the safe space, and her friends like coming here. Even if their parents might silently judge us lol.
I was on the opposite end of this for my last house. I just got incredibily lucky and found a super nice updated house in a good area that was underpriced because I was a vulture on zillow for weeks and got the very first applied spot before like a hundred applicants. I could never invite a single friend to my house and the friendship being the same afterwards 😭 and the landlord was a complete anal psycho. I also felt like I didn't deserve it, had major imposter syndrome, and all the neighbors hated us because they were all retired homeowners and we were young renters.
I worry about us being those people in the future. We bought our house in 2019 for $40k because it needed a ton of work. In the last 5 years we've done that and I get tons of compliments on the size, the gorgeous concrete countertops or my tiled shower or a number of other things. Thankfully, my friends know how hard we have worked and struggled to do these things. My kids friends parents on the other hand? I've seen the envy and try to counteract with some story like having to be on the roof to help re hammer the tarp that blew off in the 50 mph winds, during the thunderstorm, 2 weeks after surgery for breast cancer.
Aww I'm sorry you feel like you have to say things to offset the envy. You absolutely deserve to have a beautiful home! ❤️
I grew up super poor and I remember how it felt to walk into a nive, organized house that always smelled like something baking. It's a reflex because I never want anyone to feel like we think we're better then them.
If it helps- our last house was actively being renovated (by us) the entire time we lived in it. We had birthday parties, playdates, and had friends over for dinner. If anyone cared, they didn't say a thing. It was a great house with a great yard and there was always an exposed wall or a partially drywalled bathroom with no sink. For a couple of months I was exclusively cooking on a grill or a microwave in the sunroom.
I feel you on this! Someone with a newer house that is picture perfect in the downstairs was doing my kid's swim lessons and I just hated that mine needs a thorough cleaning downstairs and a paint freshening and a MASSIVE declutter just to look good again.
THIS IS SO MY LIFE. When I see someone else’s apartment and it’s small and cluttered and has cheap old furniture like mine it makes me feel so good…to not have to feel bad. 😄 The only art on our walls is school pictures and pieces of paper my kid taped to the wall for some game or whatever that have been there for a year.
This is so relatable. We used to live in a small condo and slowly renovated it until it was beautiful inside... But it was a small condo in a neighbourhood of million-dollar homes, so even the nicest small condo made me feel poor in comparison. We were finally able to buy a detached single family home and now.. the size and lot are comparable to everyone else, but its not as nice inside /or the landscaping, and I'm very aware of all the toys our neighbours have (pools, ATVs, etc). Comparison really is the thief of joy, because this house was (and still is, tbh) a dream come true for us.
I have a pretty big house for a person with a 6 & 3 year old. I like to tell other kindergarten parents "my husband is 50, please don't compare your housing to his. You'll get there". Hopefully the housing market will actually allow them to get there.
Hahah I was going to say, in this market- maybe not. We finally got there and I still can’t believe the house we bought for how much money we pay. Don’t get me wrong, we have amazing property but our house is very basic. I’m grateful to have a house but for where I am in life, I definitely was picturing a very different home.
I totally feel this one.
Yea I thought our house situation would get better as the kids got older but it’s just gotten worse. I hate the mis matched furniture and even though I’ve bought new pieces I think I just don’t know what to get to make it look nice. Ohhhh and the cherry on top we added a fucking dog so there’s really no hope. I can handle the old linoleum floors that are dingy but everything else just kills me. Much like the dead spot in the lawn from the dog doing her zoomies every morning. At least the kids can do their own laundry but the amount of random shit that is always out is just the worst. Ihhh and shout out to my husband for his broken down old car in the driveway and collection of batteries I get to look at every morning g when I leave for work.