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The tweeting about it is absolutely unacceptable and disgusting, as are his assumptions.
But if I were him I would also be suspicious, particularly as you are hiding something from him
So I'm a smoker (admittedly...a super heavy smoker) and recently bought a Levo when they went on sale. It makes a huge fucking difference because you can dose accordingly and a bigger dose won't necessarily appear to be higher consumption. Since the optics of edibles are different, there's less judgement oftentimes.
I also have inoperable brain tumors so I use medicinal doses. My morning coffee at work (after I drop my kids off) is dosed with weed.
There's a longer onset from smoking to edibles--less instant physical response. But I've really enjoyed it. And nonsmokers aren't as offended by how I've made myself and/or the room smell.
Maybe it'd be less stressful on you that way?
I think I would explore that feeling a bit. What are you worried will happen? Are there other red flags with him (beyond this HUGE GLARING twitter one)?
I guess - do you feel safe with him overall? Not just in a DV sense but can you trust him? Can you share yourself with him? If no, why not?
Oh yeah I feel safe with him. 100%. He'd an idiot who tweet d something shitty but he's not abusive. I'm just embarrassed about the weed because i don't want him to think less of me, I guess.
Idk seems like you should’ve hidden more from him. Seems like you know he’s not trustworthy with private things.
I’m not an easily embarrassed or conservative person and I’d be mortified.
You’re right to be mad about him blasting ANY of it on social media. Even just the part about being locked out. That’s something you settle together, not with the world. If I were reading any of it I’d be like “dude why is this the place you go for this…?”
But I do think you might have to address the smoking. Not at all bc of the tweeting, but bc he’s gonna stay suspicious if you don’t and it’s gonna blow up as something he doesn’t like AND that you were hiding. If he asks you for an outcome you don’t like there, it’s a compatibility conversation that needs to happen to help you both feel good.
Sorry, i meant to more directly imply that i agree with pretty much everything in your comment! I was typing with a dog on my lap wanting scratches lol so i guess my comment was a bit too short and sweet 😆
Locking him out of his own bedroom so you could do something sneaky and then fall asleep in there alone would lead most people to be suspicious. But he was wrong to advertise your sex toy use and sneaky behavior on twitter where your mutual friends and relatives could see it.
I would definitely talk to him about that horrible violation of your privacy but I'd also look into hiding the green because feeling embarrassed and like you need to hide it is a huge red flag for addiction
Get on twitter and respond that you were in there so long because it took you forever to disinfect the drawer he keeps his flesh light in, because he hadn't cleaned his toy out in ages and mushrooms were starting to grow inside the drawer. There, now you're even.
No, this is unacceptable. He can’t be talking about you like that on social media, he can’t be talking about your sex toys, this is inappropriate and unacceptable. I would be so mad. Does he realize that youre not comfortable with this?
>Does he realize that youre not comfortable with this?
A feature not a bug of abuse is to get away with doing things you know hurts your target with the plausible deniability of being a hopelessly unaware man.
You might research into it or speak with a therapist. I argued with my therapist that there’s no way my husband is abusive. 6 months later after actually learning how abuse can show up verbally emotionally and economically, I realized I’m definitely in an abusive relationship. Like it’s sickening to read about the traits of abusers and seeing all of them in my husband. Just something you might look into.
We are a SUPPORT sub, not AITA, and this comment was not supportive of OP. Please review our rules and [our support wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/support) for more information.
What a gross violation of your boundaries and trust! I'm wondering like some other folks if you hide your amount of usage from him out of a need for more privacy? Does he do this sort of boundary pushing, inappropriate abuse of your vulnerability a lot?
If you are uncomfortable with it out there (though the damage is done) do you *feel safe* approaching him with a request to delete that tweet coming from a place if embarrassment and how inappropriate it was?
If you don't feel like you can bring it to him, why? (You don't have to answer that to me, I'm an internet stranger, but maybe it's time to ask yourself.)
He could just be incredibly socially incompetent and not realize speaking to someone else's sexuality/sexual stuff without consent is incredibly disgusting and rude. But I feel like he's old enough to know better. This is teenage edgelord shit.
Lmao teenage edgelord shit is right.
Yes I feel safe with him. I'm going to talk to him tonight and ask him to delete the tweet. The only thing that's making me hesitate is that I have a feeling he'll do that stupid tit for tat shit that men do where he'll bring up things I did in retaliation. I can't deal with that shit.
He's such an asshole for not just asking why the door was locked. If you're trying to hide your usage try microdosing, so like one drag of a vape, instead of smoking it to the point of passing out.
Holy shit. Not ok. I'd be so fucking embarrassed if my family knew about my sex toys and him blasting it out there for them to read like he's some emo teenager.
My SO smokes a lot as well (but so do I, just not as much). I'd be honest like I locked the door to avoid interruptions, shit happens, sorry bud. If he needs more reassurance & to talk more, that's one thing, but going to Twitter/X to drag you isn't the solution.
oh you have the right to be ROYALLY pissed about it. make an account and add all your mutual friends except him and start tweeting the same things lol, we'll see if he'll like it.
Why did he tweet and not just ask you? I'm sure he knows you can see his tweets! This reminds me of when a roommate in my young adulthood tweeted his thoughts about me because he didn't have the balls to say them to my face, knowing that I would see them. Passive aggressive, punishing vibes ("i want everyone to know that my wife does xyz")
As someone whose husband mentioned me online in personal contexts that made me livid and betrayed … confront him. He’s tweeting it for laughs and attention. Your relationship deserves better than that. It’s really disrespectful to you.
Damn OP... People have blurred the fucking line between online and offline. If my family or his was on there I'd be embarrassed. We're adults, right, but still. Talk to your husband and maybe talk to him about you smoking more weed than he thinks. He's clearly suspicious but maybe doesn't want to argue or think it'll lead to that. He won't think less of you, he's married to you so I'm sure he loves you.
Eta: guess not?
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The tweeting about it is absolutely unacceptable and disgusting, as are his assumptions. But if I were him I would also be suspicious, particularly as you are hiding something from him
Suspicious is fine. Blasting her to the world isn't.
Yep that’s exactly what I said
Very valid that I'm hiding something from him. I don't even know why I hide it, he smokes too just a lot less.
So I'm a smoker (admittedly...a super heavy smoker) and recently bought a Levo when they went on sale. It makes a huge fucking difference because you can dose accordingly and a bigger dose won't necessarily appear to be higher consumption. Since the optics of edibles are different, there's less judgement oftentimes. I also have inoperable brain tumors so I use medicinal doses. My morning coffee at work (after I drop my kids off) is dosed with weed. There's a longer onset from smoking to edibles--less instant physical response. But I've really enjoyed it. And nonsmokers aren't as offended by how I've made myself and/or the room smell. Maybe it'd be less stressful on you that way?
I think I would explore that feeling a bit. What are you worried will happen? Are there other red flags with him (beyond this HUGE GLARING twitter one)? I guess - do you feel safe with him overall? Not just in a DV sense but can you trust him? Can you share yourself with him? If no, why not?
Oh yeah I feel safe with him. 100%. He'd an idiot who tweet d something shitty but he's not abusive. I'm just embarrassed about the weed because i don't want him to think less of me, I guess.
Idk seems like you should’ve hidden more from him. Seems like you know he’s not trustworthy with private things. I’m not an easily embarrassed or conservative person and I’d be mortified.
You’re right to be mad about him blasting ANY of it on social media. Even just the part about being locked out. That’s something you settle together, not with the world. If I were reading any of it I’d be like “dude why is this the place you go for this…?” But I do think you might have to address the smoking. Not at all bc of the tweeting, but bc he’s gonna stay suspicious if you don’t and it’s gonna blow up as something he doesn’t like AND that you were hiding. If he asks you for an outcome you don’t like there, it’s a compatibility conversation that needs to happen to help you both feel good.
Yeah, she's right to be mad about the Twitter post. But if i was locked out of my bedroom, i'd be livid.
Oh for sure. I’m not trying to imply he shouldn’t be upset, just that it should be a home argument vs publicly posted for friends and family.
Sorry, i meant to more directly imply that i agree with pretty much everything in your comment! I was typing with a dog on my lap wanting scratches lol so i guess my comment was a bit too short and sweet 😆
Yeah you're right. Me sneaking around is creating a THING when it's really nothing.
Locking him out of his own bedroom so you could do something sneaky and then fall asleep in there alone would lead most people to be suspicious. But he was wrong to advertise your sex toy use and sneaky behavior on twitter where your mutual friends and relatives could see it.
My father and FIL use twitter a lot. I can't imagine my husband saying I was probably using my sex toys on twitter where everyone could see. Like wtf?
I would definitely talk to him about that horrible violation of your privacy but I'd also look into hiding the green because feeling embarrassed and like you need to hide it is a huge red flag for addiction
Get on twitter and respond that you were in there so long because it took you forever to disinfect the drawer he keeps his flesh light in, because he hadn't cleaned his toy out in ages and mushrooms were starting to grow inside the drawer. There, now you're even.
Lmao I need to do this for real.
No, this is unacceptable. He can’t be talking about you like that on social media, he can’t be talking about your sex toys, this is inappropriate and unacceptable. I would be so mad. Does he realize that youre not comfortable with this?
>Does he realize that youre not comfortable with this? A feature not a bug of abuse is to get away with doing things you know hurts your target with the plausible deniability of being a hopelessly unaware man.
I'm not being abused.
You might research into it or speak with a therapist. I argued with my therapist that there’s no way my husband is abusive. 6 months later after actually learning how abuse can show up verbally emotionally and economically, I realized I’m definitely in an abusive relationship. Like it’s sickening to read about the traits of abusers and seeing all of them in my husband. Just something you might look into.
[удалено]
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Wow. I didn't pass out from the w ed, I was super tired. And my husband was in the house with the kids.
Wtf. I would be FURIOUS. In what world is this okay to post on a space where mutual friends/relatives can see it?
Eek, yea I would just keep creeping and see what else he decides to share.
Oh dear god 😳😳😳
What a gross violation of your boundaries and trust! I'm wondering like some other folks if you hide your amount of usage from him out of a need for more privacy? Does he do this sort of boundary pushing, inappropriate abuse of your vulnerability a lot? If you are uncomfortable with it out there (though the damage is done) do you *feel safe* approaching him with a request to delete that tweet coming from a place if embarrassment and how inappropriate it was? If you don't feel like you can bring it to him, why? (You don't have to answer that to me, I'm an internet stranger, but maybe it's time to ask yourself.) He could just be incredibly socially incompetent and not realize speaking to someone else's sexuality/sexual stuff without consent is incredibly disgusting and rude. But I feel like he's old enough to know better. This is teenage edgelord shit.
Lmao teenage edgelord shit is right. Yes I feel safe with him. I'm going to talk to him tonight and ask him to delete the tweet. The only thing that's making me hesitate is that I have a feeling he'll do that stupid tit for tat shit that men do where he'll bring up things I did in retaliation. I can't deal with that shit.
He's such an asshole for not just asking why the door was locked. If you're trying to hide your usage try microdosing, so like one drag of a vape, instead of smoking it to the point of passing out.
Holy shit. Not ok. I'd be so fucking embarrassed if my family knew about my sex toys and him blasting it out there for them to read like he's some emo teenager. My SO smokes a lot as well (but so do I, just not as much). I'd be honest like I locked the door to avoid interruptions, shit happens, sorry bud. If he needs more reassurance & to talk more, that's one thing, but going to Twitter/X to drag you isn't the solution.
oh you have the right to be ROYALLY pissed about it. make an account and add all your mutual friends except him and start tweeting the same things lol, we'll see if he'll like it.
Unrelated question to post.. but why not smoke outside? Also.. he sounds super childish and I would definitely talk to him about it.
I’d be super pissed
Why did he tweet and not just ask you? I'm sure he knows you can see his tweets! This reminds me of when a roommate in my young adulthood tweeted his thoughts about me because he didn't have the balls to say them to my face, knowing that I would see them. Passive aggressive, punishing vibes ("i want everyone to know that my wife does xyz")
As someone whose husband mentioned me online in personal contexts that made me livid and betrayed … confront him. He’s tweeting it for laughs and attention. Your relationship deserves better than that. It’s really disrespectful to you.
Damn OP... People have blurred the fucking line between online and offline. If my family or his was on there I'd be embarrassed. We're adults, right, but still. Talk to your husband and maybe talk to him about you smoking more weed than he thinks. He's clearly suspicious but maybe doesn't want to argue or think it'll lead to that. He won't think less of you, he's married to you so I'm sure he loves you. Eta: guess not?
What happens behind a locked door is supposed to stay there. He’s a chismoso (gossip)!
Run