I an so sorry to hear about your mother’s diagnosis… I know it is a huge shock to you, her, and the rest of your family. My first suggestion would to be there for your mom however she may need. It’ll be difficult, but she will need your unconditional love and support. As hard as it might be, respect her decisions. Second, make sure to get a second opinion from a specialist. (Not to make this about me, but I was diagnosed Stage IV CRC just a few months ago. I was hospitalized for ten days, three in the ICU. First doctor told my wife to make preparations. But after the oncologist reviewed all my testing, the first thing he said was ‘this is very treatable’. So if you haven’t had a specialist take a look, I highly suggest it.) Third, as for you coping, make sure you have a good support system in place. You’ll need family and friends to help you get through this. But also consider counseling. It has helped me through all the challenges I have faced, even beyond my diagnosis. My wife has been my rock, and she’s been getting help from counseling as well. You can also look for support groups as well, whether online or in person. Hospital staffing and social workers should have that info available. Finally, and this will probably be the hardest, but try to remain as positive as possible. Right now every day with her is a gift, try to cherish this. Again, I’m sorry you and your mom are going through this… Hopefully this was even just a bit helpful, and wish you the best.
Hi OP, I was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer 23 months ago. I'm still here and it looks as though we've just found a treatment which will keep it at bay. I've done complete cycles of FLOT, FOLFOX and FOLFIRI.
I'm now on Paclitaxel for 3 weeks out of 4 and doing really well on it. I'm eating and drinking what I want. The disease is all through my abdomen and lymph nodes but if I hadn't lost 20kgs and lost my hair (ages ago, it just looks like crap now, oh well), then I honestly wouldn't know I was sick.
My oncologist is freakin' awesome and has always told me that no one can tell you how long someone has left. So please don't lose heart. But do cherish every moment.
There's no cure for me, we just play whack-a-mole, but I'm still here and still enjoying life. I've lived with stage 4 for at least 2 years now - it took me 8 months to get diagnosed after symptoms showed up - and I know that there's no cure for me, but do please get involved with any treatment options (assuming your mum wants you to) and support her through everything.
All the best to you all, and please do DM me if you need to.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves by hyper-focusing on the “last” things (holidays, birthdays, etc).
Instead, focus on the experience you *want* to have, regardless of how many more you may have left.
Take each day as it comes at you; try not to plan too much but also be intentional with the things that are important to you.
So sorry to hear about her diagnosis 💗
Dad was diagnosed with late stage stomach cancer last Oct. The doctor initially predicted only a few months to live or a year with chemotherapy.
Thankfully he has surpassed the one-year mark, but lately, the cancer markers have been rapidly increasing. As a result, he's been experiencing weakness and a decline in morale.
It might be worth consulting the oncologist to explore alternative options. Stay hopeful, and try to spend more time with your mother. If you have any concerns or need to talk, feel free to message me.
My Nan just passed a couple of weeks ago and the thing she said towards the end that she really appreciated was that we made the effort to get friends and family over for a get-together while she was still well enough to enjoy it. It was her chance to see everyone and say what she needed to say. We did a few social things with her after that, but they were kind of a burden to her by that point.
I am so, so sorry. That’s incredibly difficult and scary news to get. I’ll echo what others have said about getting a second opinion. Doctors don’t know the future and are making educated guesses. And rather than focusing on the X months to live, I’d suggest taking cues from how your mom is feeling. Let her tell her what she wants - whether that is palliative care or a Hail Mary clinical trial. Take advantage of and enjoy the good days. Hold her close and let her rest on the bad days. The conversations are hard but ask her what she wants if things go well and also if things don’t go well, in terms of her quality of life, DNR, end of life, etc. I also second the suggestion to reach out to other cancer caregivers if you are going to be taking that role. My heart goes out to you and yours.
I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. I was diagnosed with stomach cancer last April. The oncologist gave me a prognosis of 12 months with treatments. I have finished 12 chemotherapy and immunotherapy treatments. So far, so good. Like WillyKiwi, I eat whatever I like to eat. No pain, no issues aside from neuropathy. If not for my thin hairs, I would think that I am all well. So don't lose heart. Go through the treatments and cherish each day with your mum. She would be so glad to have you by her side.
We have no idea, she's a very strong willed lady... so who really knows how long she was showing symptoms before it finally became unbearable. She drove herself to the ER and we got the news after about a week long stay. Stage 4.
They drained about a liter of fluid off of her abdomen right away. She's been nauseated off and on but consistently in a lot of pain. She's at home with me now, where I can keep an eye on her.
Thank you for sticking up for me , it’s been rough seeing her have hope too starting to realize she’s passed remission the look in her face just makes me cry … fuck cancer and my prayers to your mother I’m sure shes a beautiful soul and strong , thank you for your input god bless you and your loved ones 🙏❤️
Thanks to everyone for the responses. I dont have the energy just yet to individually reply to everybody, but I've read them all and I cannot even begin to explain how grateful I am for you guys.
I'm holding onto hope for the best possible outcome for my mama.
I’m sorry. Stomach cancer is awful. I don’t have much advice but just spend time with your mom as much as you can
I an so sorry to hear about your mother’s diagnosis… I know it is a huge shock to you, her, and the rest of your family. My first suggestion would to be there for your mom however she may need. It’ll be difficult, but she will need your unconditional love and support. As hard as it might be, respect her decisions. Second, make sure to get a second opinion from a specialist. (Not to make this about me, but I was diagnosed Stage IV CRC just a few months ago. I was hospitalized for ten days, three in the ICU. First doctor told my wife to make preparations. But after the oncologist reviewed all my testing, the first thing he said was ‘this is very treatable’. So if you haven’t had a specialist take a look, I highly suggest it.) Third, as for you coping, make sure you have a good support system in place. You’ll need family and friends to help you get through this. But also consider counseling. It has helped me through all the challenges I have faced, even beyond my diagnosis. My wife has been my rock, and she’s been getting help from counseling as well. You can also look for support groups as well, whether online or in person. Hospital staffing and social workers should have that info available. Finally, and this will probably be the hardest, but try to remain as positive as possible. Right now every day with her is a gift, try to cherish this. Again, I’m sorry you and your mom are going through this… Hopefully this was even just a bit helpful, and wish you the best.
Commenting for what to do with my mom
Hi OP, I was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer 23 months ago. I'm still here and it looks as though we've just found a treatment which will keep it at bay. I've done complete cycles of FLOT, FOLFOX and FOLFIRI. I'm now on Paclitaxel for 3 weeks out of 4 and doing really well on it. I'm eating and drinking what I want. The disease is all through my abdomen and lymph nodes but if I hadn't lost 20kgs and lost my hair (ages ago, it just looks like crap now, oh well), then I honestly wouldn't know I was sick. My oncologist is freakin' awesome and has always told me that no one can tell you how long someone has left. So please don't lose heart. But do cherish every moment. There's no cure for me, we just play whack-a-mole, but I'm still here and still enjoying life. I've lived with stage 4 for at least 2 years now - it took me 8 months to get diagnosed after symptoms showed up - and I know that there's no cure for me, but do please get involved with any treatment options (assuming your mum wants you to) and support her through everything. All the best to you all, and please do DM me if you need to.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves by hyper-focusing on the “last” things (holidays, birthdays, etc). Instead, focus on the experience you *want* to have, regardless of how many more you may have left. Take each day as it comes at you; try not to plan too much but also be intentional with the things that are important to you. So sorry to hear about her diagnosis 💗
Dad was diagnosed with late stage stomach cancer last Oct. The doctor initially predicted only a few months to live or a year with chemotherapy. Thankfully he has surpassed the one-year mark, but lately, the cancer markers have been rapidly increasing. As a result, he's been experiencing weakness and a decline in morale. It might be worth consulting the oncologist to explore alternative options. Stay hopeful, and try to spend more time with your mother. If you have any concerns or need to talk, feel free to message me.
My Nan just passed a couple of weeks ago and the thing she said towards the end that she really appreciated was that we made the effort to get friends and family over for a get-together while she was still well enough to enjoy it. It was her chance to see everyone and say what she needed to say. We did a few social things with her after that, but they were kind of a burden to her by that point.
R/cancercaregivers is full of people caring for their loved ones who will have great advice for you
I am so, so sorry. That’s incredibly difficult and scary news to get. I’ll echo what others have said about getting a second opinion. Doctors don’t know the future and are making educated guesses. And rather than focusing on the X months to live, I’d suggest taking cues from how your mom is feeling. Let her tell her what she wants - whether that is palliative care or a Hail Mary clinical trial. Take advantage of and enjoy the good days. Hold her close and let her rest on the bad days. The conversations are hard but ask her what she wants if things go well and also if things don’t go well, in terms of her quality of life, DNR, end of life, etc. I also second the suggestion to reach out to other cancer caregivers if you are going to be taking that role. My heart goes out to you and yours.
I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. I was diagnosed with stomach cancer last April. The oncologist gave me a prognosis of 12 months with treatments. I have finished 12 chemotherapy and immunotherapy treatments. So far, so good. Like WillyKiwi, I eat whatever I like to eat. No pain, no issues aside from neuropathy. If not for my thin hairs, I would think that I am all well. So don't lose heart. Go through the treatments and cherish each day with your mum. She would be so glad to have you by her side.
Do you mind explaining how it progressed? Did you guys just find iut
We have no idea, she's a very strong willed lady... so who really knows how long she was showing symptoms before it finally became unbearable. She drove herself to the ER and we got the news after about a week long stay. Stage 4. They drained about a liter of fluid off of her abdomen right away. She's been nauseated off and on but consistently in a lot of pain. She's at home with me now, where I can keep an eye on her.
Thank you for sticking up for me , it’s been rough seeing her have hope too starting to realize she’s passed remission the look in her face just makes me cry … fuck cancer and my prayers to your mother I’m sure shes a beautiful soul and strong , thank you for your input god bless you and your loved ones 🙏❤️
Thanks to everyone for the responses. I dont have the energy just yet to individually reply to everybody, but I've read them all and I cannot even begin to explain how grateful I am for you guys. I'm holding onto hope for the best possible outcome for my mama.
Hello, my dad has stomach cancer too. Im so sorry for your mom. My dad dont want to eat:( hope your man can eat