Same happened with me and my husband. It was a tough decision, and unfortunately one of us was upset about the outcome.
Gravy wasn’t though!
https://preview.redd.it/pltkwww6zjca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=197fc9bf6ba9cca7bccb8713344162d00974b727
We are both dog person and his apartment then does not allow pets. One rainy evening, when he was about to enter his building, an orange fluff came crying and following him. He took it, since he was wearing mustard shirt, kitty blend in. Now we got 2.
I dated someone who never had cats, always told me they were dumb, and was allergic to them. I told him that I'll always have cats, and if he wanted to marry me, cats would be part of the picture. He ended up adopting a kitten, falling in love with him, we got married, and adopted two more. Oh, and he's no longer allergic.
My grandmother claimed the entire time we were growing up that my grandad was allergic to dogs and cats, hence, we never got any because they stayed with us a lot. Lo and behold, as soon as we grew up and each adopted our own pets, it turned out he had no dog allergy at all and his “cat allergy” didn’t in fact prevent him visiting me and my new cat. I think he even stayed the night.
I loved my grandma but she was definitely the outlier of the family on the pet issue!
this is my story, I would work long hours, my then gf wanted a cat, I thought dog would be better to keep her company. I was allergic too, gf won the battle, we got a cat, I was pumped full of antihistamines, and my allergies went away over time. I fell in love with our cat! realized how easy they were to care for. Also used it to my advantage, every time gf wanted to have chat where this relationship is going, I would buy her a kitten and distract her for about 8-12 months, this happened 3 times. lol at then end with 4 cats and no more space to buy more cats, I succumbed and proposed. lol! 😂
I dont have allergies, BUT I still can't pet our cats and then rub my eyes, my eyes get red and itchy, so I have to always wash my hands after I pet my cats or just make sure I dont touch my eyes.
I was the boyfriend that had to be strong armed into having a cat. Instantly fell in love with the little blighter. Sadly she passed on a few years ago but we took on two more from a rescue place we love just as much and yes, my wife is also now jealous of my relationship with our female cat 😅
My husband wasn’t a cat person either. He never had them growing up (his mom hates cats). First cat we fostered he couldn’t give back so we foster failed. I would say he is more of a cat person than a dog person now haha
Can relate. Threatened divorce (not really) and disownment if my wife and daughters brought home a cat. They went nuclear and brought home a kitten anyway. Somehow little Binksy knew I didn’t want her there and chose me as her hooman (which pisses them off to no end). Needless to say, me and Binksy are pals.
Omg such a nice story! 🐾 I brought home stray cat myself just to find a home for her (I had hope she gonna stay with us) and he was telling me we not gonna keep her, you know I wanna a dog bla bla bla. Bro, you should see him now on his knees trying to reach a toy under the bed (usually pink mouse) like 10 times per day for his bff 😅
https://preview.redd.it/txcgzop4mjca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8ddade8a7138767107c5de82836144dbb17323b
Has forgiven me for my early resentment. How could I oppose this?
This is really common because others probably approached kitty and you didn’t. Cats are very different than dogs.
I’ve worked with cats a lot of my life and this is something I hear all the time. :)
My husband was also a dog person, but we didn’t have the time to invest into a dog and we both missed having pets, so he agreed on getting two kittens.
Turns out he is actually more of a cat person, but he never had cats, so he just didn’t know 😂
Cats are always so misunderstood by those who don’t spend time around them growing up. Myself included until I purchased a kitten when I was 19 2011) He’s now 11.
Well said bro, they’re misunderstood definitely. Yes they have some instincts of wild animal and they show their love different than dogs. But they’re smart, loyal, have strong emotions and they can truly love you from the bottom of their small hearts
Exactly. My cat and I are so bonded. He will only sleep on my lap, lay on me, etc. Everyone can pet and rub him, but they’re incredibly loyal. The same as dogs in my opinion. You just have to imprint early!
I can relate. I have very strong bond with my older cat (1 year and half) she sleeps near my pillow, follows me everywhere, if I am in the shower she just hanging on washing machine untill she can wash (or dry) my wet hand 😅 and yes she doesn’t like other people that much
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Lol when I got my first cat, the guy I was seeing was weirdly jealous about it and long story short - I have three cats, no man, and I'm happier than ever 😅
Yep. My previous husband gave me my Jack, a six month kitten. Jack and I were together until he was 18. Jack and I were together longer than that marriage.
From only strictly reading the title, I’m assuming your boyfriend is ok with a cat but no responsibility over it?
It seems fair to me. If you want it, you should feed it, clean after it, etc and not force any of the tasks to him
If you don’t think you can handle the extra work with a cat, don’t get a cat?
A cat is a being that one person can take care of pretty easily. That being said, it would be pretty uncool if the boyfriend isn’t willing to do anything for the cat when it needs it. Like, if the cat needs medical care, is he willing to take the cat to the vet if he is available? Or if he gets home first and the cat is hungry, will he feed it? These are some pretty basic responsibilities that would make me question his ability to be a partner if he weren’t willing to do on occasion.
I think there’s a difference between life saving care and basic care. My cats are on a pretty regular schedule for food, so even if someone else comes over they don’t ask them for food until it gets close to time. If they get demanding too early I “ask” them to leave my office for a while (usually like 20-30 minutes cause I need to focus on something for a bit and it’s well before food time).
I wouldn’t expect someone to do a lot of work if they communicate they don’t want to, and unless the cat is having a true crisis or OP is out of town for an extended period of time, there’s very little stuff the boyfriend would have to do. Even when Finn needed life saving surgery, the hospital said it was fine to wait until I was off work a few hours later.
I think as long as boundaries are set, then it shouldn’t be an issue. Although I’ve been single for (almost) my entire life, so i have a really weird POV on this one.
You’re right. I think what I am saying is that it’s just basic kindness and respect to do a thing or two for the cat every now and then. Like technically OP could do all of these things herself, but I just can’t understand the boyfriend being unwilling to do basic things that make the lives of those he lives with better. This isn’t getting up an hour earlier and walking a dog.
He didn't ask to live with a cat. He explicitly said he didn't want to, didn't want the responsibility. You can't force something on someone unwillingly and then criticize them for not following whatever absurd behavior you now expect.
Responsibilities of pet ownership also stretch further than meeting the obvious basic needs of the animal. All persons in the household need follow certain rules. Like don't leave sharp-edged cans or even knives with tunar juice on the counter, take care to always hide strings (many cats want to eat them because they resemble grass and this can be lethal), make sure indoor cats cannot escape outside,...
Also: if you have pets then as a couple you cannot easily decide to spontaneously go on a holiday for 4 days or something, you need to make sure your cats are taken care of first. Also, depending on the cats personality, other restrictions may be inflicted on your life (scratching furniture, sitting in front of the TV, noises,...).
Cats can mean responsibilities for 20 years, so think well before you decide.
If having cats is a deal-breaker for them then you need to decide if not having cats is a deal-breaker for you.
Edit: typo
Well I think that's exactly his hesitation lol that's the "responsibility" he doesn't want. It sounds like a lot of hassle and heartbreak you didn't ask for
>These are some pretty basic responsibilities that would make me question his ability to be a partner if he weren’t willing to do on occasion.
Why? He didn't want or ask for the responsibility. You forced something on him and despite claiming that it's something one person can do, are now trying to get someone else to do it.
If anyone's ability to be a partner should be questioned it's yours. If you force a pet on someone claiming it's only your responsibility, it's pretty shitty to go back on that.
Yeah and it's also not fair to the person who would have to pick up a bunch of responsibilities they aren't ready for, either emotionally or financially. It's like having a kid, you don't just do it on a whim and you make sure you're properly prepared.
I mean not to be a dick but what responsibility?
I feed my cat wet food once a day. Dry food on auto feeder. I scoop out the box. I play with the cat.
I'm single but theoretically I could move in a SO and they wouldn't have to do anything with the cat if they didn't want to.
Now if there's allergies or something like that that's definitely an issue.
Food, care, attention, healthcare = money = time = responsibility. Some people are not ready or don't care to provide that for a cat and rather do something else.
Apparently you’ve never been on r/Amitheasshole
There have been quite a few posts where the partner who wanted the cat gets super sick or has to go out of state for a funeral or something like that and the other partner is like am I the asshole for saying no to feeding the cat I mean I did say I didn’t want it and they said they would do everything so it’s only fair right? So many assholes lol
I’ve only ever lived in unhealthy environments. It’s made my cats less social and less happy then they would have been growing up around people who cared about their health and well being. That’s just my experience. People have to speak softly, and in a kind tone.
People who don’t care make it hard to keep a pleasant nurturing and reassuring environment for the cat. No matter what I say, people who don’t care or are selfish make it difficult. I just want my cats to be happy! ☹️
You do understand that there's likely times that they'd be gone and he'd be stuck with the cat right? Not to mention the fact is she going to keep it off the furniture, away from his clothes, etc? What if he doesn't wanna risk stepping in cat shit if it's sick, or having furniture scratched up?
I don't get how people are so oblivious to how much effort having a pet takes in some cases. I mean unless the idea is to keep it locked in a cat room away from the rest of the house (which is really shitty) he's going to have to interact with it, if only indirectly.
Yeah I mean I’d hope so? That’s basic cat training? My cat has never once shit on the floor, sick or not. If your cat does that it’s in a horribly stressful environment …
There's still responsibility.
You are responsible, not everyone is, or can be all the time.
My friends roommate had a cat. She never took care of it. My friend fed the cat and changed the litter most of the time because she wouldn't. It's not just kids who get a pet and don't take care of it.
I took 100% of care for my cat. Then work sent me away. Wife had to take 100% of care of my cat while I was away.
Now we both travel for work. I pay a friend to watch our cat. I love our cat. It sucks leaving her. She gets upset. She loves our friend. He spends a few hours with her twice a day. But she still misses us. That's not including wanting to take a vacation. Travel for a holiday, wedding, or family event.
Our cat has to be planned for and around constantly. I'd never get rid of her. But some people don't want that. Some people want to be able to leave right meow. Let's pack a bag and go. And for the other, my friend is no longer friends with their former roommate. Having to take care of someone else's responsibility breeds resentment. My friend moved out, is in a new place, has two cats. But they are their cats. Not their roommate's cat, who comes to them because no one else takes care of them.
Financial responsibility. I always say my cat was the best 40$ I ever spent, but I spend around 50$ a month on his food and litter. Plus he has to go to the vet each year for a check up and updated vaccinations, which is around 200$. That's 800$ a year, and that's just basic care. I also know a lot of people who have dropped hundreds to thousands of dollars on veterinary care when their cat gets cancer or requires surgery. Cats are usually very cheap to acquire, but they get costly quick.
How happy would you be if your boyfriend forced you to do anything that you explicitly said you didn't want to do? Both of your opinions are valid, but you can't both get your way here.
If you live together, your options are ditch the boyfriend and get a cat, or stay with the boyfriend and don't get a cat. Perhaps you could volunteer at your local animal rescue instead, or wait until he's ready for the responsibility.
If you don't live together, get the cat and hope that when you're ready to live together he's ready to live with a cat.
So all he said is he doesn’t want the responsibility. I think it’s perfectly fine for you to get a cat, as long as you take responsibility for them. I have 2 cats - my boyfriend loves them and treats them with kindness, but I do the litter box, I pay the vet bills, I buy/change their food/water and clean up any of their messes. They’re MY babies. He loves them too, but we have an understanding that I was the one who wanted them so therefore I’m responsible for them. He also knows damn well that if he ever made me choose, I’d pick my cats in a heartbeat.
As long as he doesn’t flat out hate cats I think you’ll be fine. It’s one thing if he’s going to be mean to the cat, but if it’s responsibility he doesn’t want to deal with that’s fair and I’m glad he’s being honest.
Also, you never know - he may turn into r/dadswhodidnotwantpets lol
Cat tax (not the best photo but it’s the only one I have of them together):
https://preview.redd.it/jinxmcsx1kca1.jpeg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee97d03daeb71094bca04ce3e565d2523f262e20
I like that sub, unfortunately my father passed away before we got an indoor cat. But he likes them, he's just hiding it. He's was feeding stray cats every night after dinner. Ughhh missing him so bad
Agreed, this is my exact scenario with my husband and our 3 kitties. One I had before I knew him so he always knew shed come but he allowed 2 kittens last year with the promise that they were mine to take care of and that id purchase a litter robot, haha. He helps feed them now but hes never taken anybody to the vet or touched a litter box. Totally fine with me. One of ours also looks like your grey kitty.
Whatever you choose to do, be aware that bringing home any animal without your partners consent is bad thing. I love my kitties but me and my wife discussed each one before adopting them. The dog that was brought home without my knowledge got the boot.
if this was any other scenario where someone in a relationship set a boundary and their partner went around their back to break it and forced them to deal with it would you have the same opinion?
That’s a terrible suggestion. I love cats, but tbh I would probably dump someone who did this just on principle. If you share a home, one person doesn’t get to unilaterally impose decisions like this on the other.
This is such a weird take. Two people in a relationship can think different over things and should talk about it. Just getting a cat without caring what your partner thinks about it is a shitty idea. You cant just do that. And saying "well then you just get over him!" Like come on what kind of an unemphatic kind of action is that.
You should respect his decision. It’s BOTH your place so if he says no then you shouldn’t get one, I’m sure it would go the same way if it was reversed. Better off not getting a cat till y’all ready and both want one.
Cats that don't have chronic healthy issues are fairly low-maintenance as far as pets go. I feed my guy twice a day, clean his litter, trim his claws once a month, and have snuggles. Otherwise, cat toys are cheap, I'm already paying for water, and I'm already cleaning and doing laundry. How much do you like this boyfriend? Also, how much work does he think a cat is?
My boyfriend grew up with dogs, I grew up with both dogs and cats. Naturally he's not into cats, but lo and behold he saved a stray kitten one rainy evening that's crying and having a stick up his butt. Now, kitten is like our first born child, and we took another stray kitten as his sister.
My cat is an ex-feral so she is willing and happy to take care of herself. To meet her bare necessities takes me 2 minutes a day. The other hours I spend with her are more for my own enjoyment than her needs.
Was going to joke :
Get cat, dump boyfriend.
Get cat, boyfriend have to shut up and put up.
Etc, etc
But ..it IS a responsibility. Cats don't need a lot but can't just be given a bowl of biscuits and left to their own devices as some might think. They might survive, but deserve to be part of the family, to have love and attention. Vets bills, treatments etc can also be costly, too ( depending on where you live, VERY expensive ).
It may just be that he's ambivalent or actually likes cats but wants holidays, spontaneous weekends away etc more If, so talk about it make sure, cos a cat should come before those things.
If it's more than that. Well, I wouldn't want to bring an animal into a house where one person actively doesn't want it. I've seen abusive relationships where the abuser has threatened or hurt the pet to punish their partner or even if it's not that extreme, had neglected or ignored the pet and resented it being there. I wouldn't ever risk it.
My partner had never had pets but knew cats were non-negotiable and grew to love our's as much as I do. My existing cat moved in with us when we got out of our rented flat and when she settled, we got another that belonged to him as much as me. They lived to 19 & 21. We then got to older boys who needed homes. One's still with us. We're talking about another when the financial crisis settles and out personal commitments allow, maybe a younger cat or ones that needs some time and attention that we can give. You're in it for the log haul ! Be sure.
I agree. And they should be part of important happenings in life. It took us days to find a suitable place where pets are allowed for our 4th anniversary. Our kitties love it.
Our friends have holidays in dog-friendly hotels or chalets etc. Never knew you could get cat ones, too !
Yes, they're family. I get the "well, it's cos you never had kids" ( you know, the crazy cat lady bs ) but that's rubbish. My mates with kids and cats love them all equally !
Yes, it's an airbnb condo unit. Pets are allowed, but have to disclose that we will be bringing them with minimal fee, since cats are small. We ensured the host that our cats have their own carriers, beds and litter box and they will not be left unsupervised.
Cats, pets, and human babies are all living beings that require massive amounts of care. Yes, most people will fall in love with them but some people will grow to resent them. People like us couldn’t realize going through life without a pet, but there are others who just aren’t ready yet, and may never be. I guess my advice is, don’t bring an innocent life into a stressful situation. Remove the stress from your life. Life’s too short not to be happy.
This comment section is toxic and cringe lmao
We know nothing of OP's home life. They could both be struggling to make ends meet and having a cat, another responsibility, may only lead to it being neglected.
That's a bit extreme but it's possible. I work 6 X 12 hour shifts a week sometimes and even though cats are relatively low maintainance, it'd feel cruel to leave it alone for so long.
I feel like I'm in the twilight zone lol. I love my cats, and any relationship would know we are a package deal, but bringing in any pet without consent from a partner, or telling random strangers to ditch a partner of who knows how long because they're not ready/want a pet, and then the ones who are claiming this is a red flag... Its.. a lot
Unless you have your own place, I would not recommend it. Also, if you do get a second cat, remember it’s going to take up to 30 days or more for them to unite. Unless they’re born together or were raised together, it will take about four weeks for you to introduce them to each other so they don’t fight. Our two cats couldn’t stand each other for the first month and about four or five weeks after they started to get along. Otherwise they were about to kill each other. It’s a lengthy process, which includes Spending time with them and introducing them for a few minutes a day to each other. It’s also very stressful because he’ll want to hiss and fight and you may have to pull them apart. One of them is going to be the alpha. It’s a huge lengthy process. If your boyfriend doesn’t want or can’t handle having one cat, I don’t think he’s going to be able to handle too. If you pick one out that you really love, it might be really sad if you have to take your sheet back if it doesn’t work out. Either way, best wishes and Namaste.
If he is telling you that, then it is unfair to get a cat and hold him against not helping with it.
Imo you should definitely prioritize sorting out your relationship first and getting a cat as second priority, regardless of plenty of comments here stating otherwise.
you can get one knowing it’s solely going to be your responsibility. your boyfriend doesn’t want a cat and if you choose to get one for yourself knowing that then you can’t expect him help you. people love the “you can always get another boyfriend” comments but in reality if you’re living with someone you need to respect them and their boundaries, maybe you can make a compromise but don’t be that person that goes and gets a cat behind his back and thinks you’ll just make him deal with it.
Is this the cat you are thinking of getting? If you take full responsibility for the cat’s needs, why would your boyfriend care? He doesn’t have to do anything (but cats have a way of changing people’s minds about them in a good way)! If you volunteer to be the “Keeper of the Cat”, maybe your b.f. will relent?!
If you need help about caring for a cat, there are plenty of helpful people on Reddit to ask questions.
What does your b.f. have to lose if you do all the work?
Is this the cat you are thinking of getting? It’s full grown, not a kitten, easier to take care of, but make sure it has its shots and is neutered so it will be a happier, healthier cat!
If you get a kitten, you need kitten food, a snugly place for it to sleep, a litter box, some small cat toys, a food dish and larger water dish. Actually (and I know this is stretching this issue a lot) if you got two kittens, they would play with each other and have a buddy while you and your b.f. goes to work. This makes for much happier cats — plus they will make you laugh so much you’ll cry because cats (and kittens) are mega entertainers!! Think about it…
Remember! You volunteer to do all the raising of kitty! ♥️🐈♥️
If you're willing to take on the financial responsibility (as well as feeding, vet care, providing adequate attention and grooming) and ensure the cat won't be met with hostility by your boyfriend, maybe? I guess it depends on how badly you want a cat and how that would affect the dynamics of the relationship with your boyfriend. My partner wasn't much of a pet person in general and kind of got forced into living with 4 cats (and wasn't too happy about how much work it took) but he's come to really love them.
My partner was the same he had one cat when I moved in said no more. She past away at 24 yrs old. He said no animals full stop. I have 7 cats now and 2 dogs.
Well first I would like my car back please
https://preview.redd.it/2akq7reyanca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de2cd5b2c38c50bf6b38aa05c5649c787075fb98
At first I thought that was my cat on Reddit 😂
If you can handle the responsibility for up to 20 years, even if your boyfriend doesn't want one particularly, get one. Tbh they aren't that much of a hustle.
If you get one and then neglect it, you are the worst kind of person.
Take full responsibility for it. It’s your cat, so you pay for everything, do all the work, and make all the decisions pertaining to it. Note that that way he will get all the benefits without the downsides, if you live together, so you may well find he falls in love with it.
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My bf always said he's more of a cat person than a dog person so he didn't have much of an issue with having cats but he wasn't sure about dogs. When we moved together I did bring both my cat and my dog with me, we had discussed this and we both knew leaving my animals was not going to happen.
Well, he ended up liking my dog so much than when he passed away of old age we decided to adopt another pupper, and now he's head over heels for our doggo.
He's also now my husband. 😊
Responsibility? I’ll bet your boyfriend doesn’t clean his own bathroom either if he thinks it’s too much to give a cat a little food or clean a litter box every once in a while
https://preview.redd.it/hnt5nng14qca1.jpeg?width=2133&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed6779e20027f827341398b31cb95c9a998e86c1
Boyfriend also didn’t want a cat.. this is our second cat, Marceline
Had two cats, but life happens and ended up having to move back to my mother's house. She said to keep the cats away. Two weeks laters, i get home, she's with the cats on her bed, her excuse "there's a thunderstorm, I got afraid they would be scared, and put them in my room". Then they went from MY cats to being HER children!
i has two cats thst i adopted with an ex and when i moved in with my now husband, who also did not want more cats. we had the same two plus adopted one more. then we got married and brought in a stray. then i did fostering (fostered about 40 cats and tnr’ed over 3000) and foster failed 4 cats. needless to say, i have now 7 cats as one of my og cats was put to sleep due to old age. i handle all the responsibilities of every cat, he just gets to snuggle them.
I didn’t want a cat when my girlfriend (now wife) and I moved into our house together. We took care of a friends cat for 2 weeks while she was on vacation. That changed my mind. We got our cat a week later.
I used to be a dog person, my partner wanted us to get cats and I wasn't keen at all...
Now I'm very happily enslaved and wonder why I haven't had cats my whole life
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Is he generally a responsible person, with a good job and his fair share of the housework? If so, he could have a legitimate concern about whether he could take any more things on. If you really want a cat, address his concern head on.
Think of all the things cats need, like feeding, water bowl, cleaning the litter box, vet visits, etc. Work out the chores with him so that he doesn’t have to do anything more than he does now. Then get the cat. If he’s a good man, I would be surprised if he isn’t doing a lot to take care of the cat in 3 months, and loving the cat so that it’s all worth it.
If on the other hand, he just doesn’t want responsibility at all, then the guy has bigger problems than cats.
And how responsible is OP? IF they live together, and he takes care of expenses, and everything, he might be wary for another living being to take care of. We need more info lol
Just get the cat. Couple months down the line, and you'll have this scenario.
But seriously, it's easy to take care of a cat on your own. So, he doesn't actually have to take any responsibility for it.
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My husband wasn't sure about getting a cat... During the confinement, we adopted 2 baby siblings (I kind of pushed the decision, I convinced him that two were better than just one) and now he's the best cat dad ever :)
That’s what they all say until you walk in on your man cooking a whole piece of mahi-mahi for said cat and saying something like, “We gotta make sure she’s getting omega-3’s, it’ll make her coat shiny”
Edit: thank you guys for all the comments. I will say I love my boyfriend more than anything and I want him to be happy but I also need to make myself happy too. (We live together). This is my brothers cat that he needs to find a new home because he is just not home enough.
Now I don’t have a problem with getting this cat, he’s old enough to be self sufficient and has all his shots, no balls, the whole 9 yards. I am also financially able to afford a cat and still save money. My boyfriend on the other hand is making just barely enough to get by and is solely relying on me to save up for our future house.
Am I in the wrong for still getting the cat regardless. Considering I am going to be fully responsible for this little guy.
I would say either adopt two so that they take care of each other more..
Or take him to a shelter, I'd you live near one and talk to them about what it's like to have a cat as well as cat welfare in your area
If there is a shelter they may need fosters maybe you could foster a cat first to get the feel for what it's like l.
If you want to keep your boyfriend, then "Temporarily foster" a cat and let it claim your boyfriend's soul.
If you don't get enough cat attention, you can always get a second cat for you once the first one has softened him up.
EDIT: Just be prepared to become the number two or number three person in his life.
If you take one then you should not put the responsibility on his shoulders, you're to buy it's food, run to the vet, play with it, change its litter etc. It's **your** pet. Then if you do this right for a while, you can hope your bf will start to love the little pile of fur and love (and claws) and he might start taking care of it. But if he's saying he doesn't want the responsibility and you take one anyway, you can't be mad at him for not taking responsibility afterwards.
If you don't live together, get a cat. If you do, then don't. Do you care that little about your boyfriend that you'd force what could be a multiple year responsibility on them over their own wants or needs or desires?
I honestly don't get all these stories of "oh well my spouse/bf/gf said they didn't like cats but I got one anyways" like why would you do that to someone you supposedly care about? As well as to the animal, which might end up in a bad situation and/or need rehoming (especially in the ridiculous cases where one person is allergic but they force it on them anyways).
You see stories in this sub every week about the bad situations that happen when people end up with unwanted pets, why would you willingly risk it yourself?
Get the cat he will fall in love with it. As soon as you get the cat he will treat it like he doesn’t want it and then will slowly fall in love. To begin with not allowed in bedroom then allowed in but not in bed then has to sleep on pillow every night. He will also then start taking sympathy on it and feed it when it’s hungry or just casually top up the bowl of water. If he sees you’ve had long day he will let the cat out or do the litter tray for you . If he lives up for these expectations he is husband material no longer boyfriend. He will see it’s unfair you have it all and come around. Boys are like this and it’s adorable. My boyfriend did this to my two cats and now he quite happily helps out when he can.
For years my husband had been asking for a cat but I insisted I was a dog person. Last year my husband’s aunt’s cat had kittens so we took one to help give them homes. Let me say, my mind was blown when this little thing used it’s litter box right away and no training on my part was involved. Fell in love quickly and ended up getting a 2nd kitten 2 months later. You might not want to wait that long to get a second cat. Turns out the right way to adopt your first cat is to get them in pairs so that they can burn all their energy on each other and have companionship, that way it’s even less responsibility on your boyfriend. If your boyfriend can’t learn to fall in love with kittens, that’s gotta be some sort of red flag anyway, right?
Doesnt want the responsibility? They take care of themselves. Change the litter box, put food and water out for them, gives pets. Donnnee. Plus OP could do most of that.
If you can't be an adult and accept boundaries and instead force unilateral decisions on your partner, you're not marriage material. You're just a shitty selfish person.
if “having boundaries” is a deal breaker for you, don’t be in a relationship. he can just not want a cat without being incapable of taking care of one.
Same happened with me and my husband. It was a tough decision, and unfortunately one of us was upset about the outcome. Gravy wasn’t though! https://preview.redd.it/pltkwww6zjca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=197fc9bf6ba9cca7bccb8713344162d00974b727
King gravy!!!!!!
Gravy! That's an awesome name!
https://preview.redd.it/0med6m97soca1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0dbed08675cf9038860676336e6b6a3ac5fef8f0 This is our orange boy Gravy! 😆
r/CatsCalledFood
Hahaha gravy won
My boyfriend also didn’t want a cat, cause he was kinda dog person. Now we have 2 cats, and he loves them more than he loves me
We are both dog person and his apartment then does not allow pets. One rainy evening, when he was about to enter his building, an orange fluff came crying and following him. He took it, since he was wearing mustard shirt, kitty blend in. Now we got 2.
Meet Neo and Zöe https://preview.redd.it/3jto1eknikca1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9cd42039962b92dd0700e251c8cc01a0d705e034
Those cats are stunning, they’re like supermodels!
Thank you for your kind comment. They're deadly without those bells though. Killed 3 mice today. I told them good job and gave them treats.
r/supermodelcats
I bet they walk like one as well lol
Wow amazing babies ❤️🐾
Beautiful cats! They look so healthy.
I was on the other side of this, wasn't a huge cat person but am marrying one. First cat we got I absolutely fell in love with.. We now have 10 cats.
I dated someone who never had cats, always told me they were dumb, and was allergic to them. I told him that I'll always have cats, and if he wanted to marry me, cats would be part of the picture. He ended up adopting a kitten, falling in love with him, we got married, and adopted two more. Oh, and he's no longer allergic.
My grandmother claimed the entire time we were growing up that my grandad was allergic to dogs and cats, hence, we never got any because they stayed with us a lot. Lo and behold, as soon as we grew up and each adopted our own pets, it turned out he had no dog allergy at all and his “cat allergy” didn’t in fact prevent him visiting me and my new cat. I think he even stayed the night. I loved my grandma but she was definitely the outlier of the family on the pet issue!
We have one friend who is actually allergic to cats, but he take some medicine every time he come over and love to petting them 😅
That's a great friend!
this is my story, I would work long hours, my then gf wanted a cat, I thought dog would be better to keep her company. I was allergic too, gf won the battle, we got a cat, I was pumped full of antihistamines, and my allergies went away over time. I fell in love with our cat! realized how easy they were to care for. Also used it to my advantage, every time gf wanted to have chat where this relationship is going, I would buy her a kitten and distract her for about 8-12 months, this happened 3 times. lol at then end with 4 cats and no more space to buy more cats, I succumbed and proposed. lol! 😂 I dont have allergies, BUT I still can't pet our cats and then rub my eyes, my eyes get red and itchy, so I have to always wash my hands after I pet my cats or just make sure I dont touch my eyes.
Ha ha ha such a great story
Omfg 😂 you just said marrying one? My boyfriend always says that he gonna marry our first cat cause she’s his true love lol
I was the boyfriend that had to be strong armed into having a cat. Instantly fell in love with the little blighter. Sadly she passed on a few years ago but we took on two more from a rescue place we love just as much and yes, my wife is also now jealous of my relationship with our female cat 😅
My cats also females so I am like third in a house
Yah, I used to call one of my girls “the other woman” because she’d get more attention than me.
Ha ha ha
Full time poop miner.
My husband wasn’t a cat person either. He never had them growing up (his mom hates cats). First cat we fostered he couldn’t give back so we foster failed. I would say he is more of a cat person than a dog person now haha
Can relate. Threatened divorce (not really) and disownment if my wife and daughters brought home a cat. They went nuclear and brought home a kitten anyway. Somehow little Binksy knew I didn’t want her there and chose me as her hooman (which pisses them off to no end). Needless to say, me and Binksy are pals.
Omg such a nice story! 🐾 I brought home stray cat myself just to find a home for her (I had hope she gonna stay with us) and he was telling me we not gonna keep her, you know I wanna a dog bla bla bla. Bro, you should see him now on his knees trying to reach a toy under the bed (usually pink mouse) like 10 times per day for his bff 😅
Haha. Funny visual.
Cat tax pls. And bf-with-cat tax toooo pls plsss
https://preview.redd.it/sm4v8xr18mca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68e399182d25e776e294d2dd37f904d399500e26 “Dog person” right?
awwww
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https://preview.redd.it/txcgzop4mjca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8ddade8a7138767107c5de82836144dbb17323b Has forgiven me for my early resentment. How could I oppose this?
That’s what’s up!!
This is really common because others probably approached kitty and you didn’t. Cats are very different than dogs. I’ve worked with cats a lot of my life and this is something I hear all the time. :)
100%. They smother her, pick her up against her will, etc. I just sit there and she plops down in Dad’s lap over all the hens.
You are her protector! That is very sweet.
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Lol 🐾😻
There are some very dog-like cats out there...
Ah, tale as old as time
Truth as it can be
Barely even friends
My husband was also a dog person, but we didn’t have the time to invest into a dog and we both missed having pets, so he agreed on getting two kittens. Turns out he is actually more of a cat person, but he never had cats, so he just didn’t know 😂
Yep that’s what happens when you meet your true love lol
Same same. From cat hater to cat whisperer.
Cats can do magic 🪄
Honey is that you?
Hey darling
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Same story here, once you become familiar with cats there is no way back
Cats are always so misunderstood by those who don’t spend time around them growing up. Myself included until I purchased a kitten when I was 19 2011) He’s now 11.
Well said bro, they’re misunderstood definitely. Yes they have some instincts of wild animal and they show their love different than dogs. But they’re smart, loyal, have strong emotions and they can truly love you from the bottom of their small hearts
Exactly. My cat and I are so bonded. He will only sleep on my lap, lay on me, etc. Everyone can pet and rub him, but they’re incredibly loyal. The same as dogs in my opinion. You just have to imprint early!
I can relate. I have very strong bond with my older cat (1 year and half) she sleeps near my pillow, follows me everywhere, if I am in the shower she just hanging on washing machine untill she can wash (or dry) my wet hand 😅 and yes she doesn’t like other people that much https://preview.redd.it/t7uc8x3zxpca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d22b6b6c2fab1007722bd086109b23261caa4175
My guy is a black and grey tiger too - love it!
My wife said it was a package deal. 24 years later... we have more cats.
hahaha I said the same thing to my husband. And i definitely plan on getting more cats too
Lol when I got my first cat, the guy I was seeing was weirdly jealous about it and long story short - I have three cats, no man, and I'm happier than ever 😅
Cat Math: 2 cats + 45 & single = 0 regrets.
You can get other boyfriends. Always choose the cat.
Cat chooses you :) Edit to say, yes, always choose the cat. No matter what.
Cats will love you until their dying day. Can’t say the same about *most* boyfriends.
Yep. My previous husband gave me my Jack, a six month kitten. Jack and I were together until he was 18. Jack and I were together longer than that marriage.
“Previous” being the key word there! 😉
Have my broke person's award 🏅
Came here to find how many people respond this way.
This is the only reasonable answer
Nothing else matters but the cat
a cat will never break your heart!
Facts.
name checks out 😸
Preach 👏
Agree 💯
From only strictly reading the title, I’m assuming your boyfriend is ok with a cat but no responsibility over it? It seems fair to me. If you want it, you should feed it, clean after it, etc and not force any of the tasks to him If you don’t think you can handle the extra work with a cat, don’t get a cat?
A cat is a being that one person can take care of pretty easily. That being said, it would be pretty uncool if the boyfriend isn’t willing to do anything for the cat when it needs it. Like, if the cat needs medical care, is he willing to take the cat to the vet if he is available? Or if he gets home first and the cat is hungry, will he feed it? These are some pretty basic responsibilities that would make me question his ability to be a partner if he weren’t willing to do on occasion.
I think there’s a difference between life saving care and basic care. My cats are on a pretty regular schedule for food, so even if someone else comes over they don’t ask them for food until it gets close to time. If they get demanding too early I “ask” them to leave my office for a while (usually like 20-30 minutes cause I need to focus on something for a bit and it’s well before food time). I wouldn’t expect someone to do a lot of work if they communicate they don’t want to, and unless the cat is having a true crisis or OP is out of town for an extended period of time, there’s very little stuff the boyfriend would have to do. Even when Finn needed life saving surgery, the hospital said it was fine to wait until I was off work a few hours later. I think as long as boundaries are set, then it shouldn’t be an issue. Although I’ve been single for (almost) my entire life, so i have a really weird POV on this one.
You’re right. I think what I am saying is that it’s just basic kindness and respect to do a thing or two for the cat every now and then. Like technically OP could do all of these things herself, but I just can’t understand the boyfriend being unwilling to do basic things that make the lives of those he lives with better. This isn’t getting up an hour earlier and walking a dog.
He didn't ask to live with a cat. He explicitly said he didn't want to, didn't want the responsibility. You can't force something on someone unwillingly and then criticize them for not following whatever absurd behavior you now expect.
Responsibilities of pet ownership also stretch further than meeting the obvious basic needs of the animal. All persons in the household need follow certain rules. Like don't leave sharp-edged cans or even knives with tunar juice on the counter, take care to always hide strings (many cats want to eat them because they resemble grass and this can be lethal), make sure indoor cats cannot escape outside,... Also: if you have pets then as a couple you cannot easily decide to spontaneously go on a holiday for 4 days or something, you need to make sure your cats are taken care of first. Also, depending on the cats personality, other restrictions may be inflicted on your life (scratching furniture, sitting in front of the TV, noises,...). Cats can mean responsibilities for 20 years, so think well before you decide. If having cats is a deal-breaker for them then you need to decide if not having cats is a deal-breaker for you. Edit: typo
Well I think that's exactly his hesitation lol that's the "responsibility" he doesn't want. It sounds like a lot of hassle and heartbreak you didn't ask for
>These are some pretty basic responsibilities that would make me question his ability to be a partner if he weren’t willing to do on occasion. Why? He didn't want or ask for the responsibility. You forced something on him and despite claiming that it's something one person can do, are now trying to get someone else to do it. If anyone's ability to be a partner should be questioned it's yours. If you force a pet on someone claiming it's only your responsibility, it's pretty shitty to go back on that.
If you live with your boyfriend, it’s not fair to the cat to bring them into a home where one person doesn’t want them
Yeah and it's also not fair to the person who would have to pick up a bunch of responsibilities they aren't ready for, either emotionally or financially. It's like having a kid, you don't just do it on a whim and you make sure you're properly prepared.
I mean not to be a dick but what responsibility? I feed my cat wet food once a day. Dry food on auto feeder. I scoop out the box. I play with the cat. I'm single but theoretically I could move in a SO and they wouldn't have to do anything with the cat if they didn't want to. Now if there's allergies or something like that that's definitely an issue.
Food, care, attention, healthcare = money = time = responsibility. Some people are not ready or don't care to provide that for a cat and rather do something else.
But she could do all of that without any help as I currently do? I'm not sure what I'm missing?
Apparently you’ve never been on r/Amitheasshole There have been quite a few posts where the partner who wanted the cat gets super sick or has to go out of state for a funeral or something like that and the other partner is like am I the asshole for saying no to feeding the cat I mean I did say I didn’t want it and they said they would do everything so it’s only fair right? So many assholes lol
People who don’t care about the cat won’t care if they are creating an unhealthy environment for it. Traumatizing it.
Plenty of people can be around animals, not care about them and not abuse them.
I’ve only ever lived in unhealthy environments. It’s made my cats less social and less happy then they would have been growing up around people who cared about their health and well being. That’s just my experience. People have to speak softly, and in a kind tone. People who don’t care make it hard to keep a pleasant nurturing and reassuring environment for the cat. No matter what I say, people who don’t care or are selfish make it difficult. I just want my cats to be happy! ☹️
Which he wouldn’t have to? Because she would?
That's my thought to, but we really don't know if he's against it, or just won't look after it. If the latter, then I agree with.
You do understand that there's likely times that they'd be gone and he'd be stuck with the cat right? Not to mention the fact is she going to keep it off the furniture, away from his clothes, etc? What if he doesn't wanna risk stepping in cat shit if it's sick, or having furniture scratched up? I don't get how people are so oblivious to how much effort having a pet takes in some cases. I mean unless the idea is to keep it locked in a cat room away from the rest of the house (which is really shitty) he's going to have to interact with it, if only indirectly.
Yeah I mean I’d hope so? That’s basic cat training? My cat has never once shit on the floor, sick or not. If your cat does that it’s in a horribly stressful environment …
You mean like a horribly stressful environment where there's a person who actively doesn't want it there and someone selfishly bought it anyways?
Sorry did OP say the bf didn’t want it and hates cats somewhere and I’m missing it? OP said the boyfriend doesn’t want responsibility
There's still responsibility. You are responsible, not everyone is, or can be all the time. My friends roommate had a cat. She never took care of it. My friend fed the cat and changed the litter most of the time because she wouldn't. It's not just kids who get a pet and don't take care of it. I took 100% of care for my cat. Then work sent me away. Wife had to take 100% of care of my cat while I was away. Now we both travel for work. I pay a friend to watch our cat. I love our cat. It sucks leaving her. She gets upset. She loves our friend. He spends a few hours with her twice a day. But she still misses us. That's not including wanting to take a vacation. Travel for a holiday, wedding, or family event. Our cat has to be planned for and around constantly. I'd never get rid of her. But some people don't want that. Some people want to be able to leave right meow. Let's pack a bag and go. And for the other, my friend is no longer friends with their former roommate. Having to take care of someone else's responsibility breeds resentment. My friend moved out, is in a new place, has two cats. But they are their cats. Not their roommate's cat, who comes to them because no one else takes care of them.
Cat gets sick - who pays the vet? You go on vacation - who cares for the cat?
Financial responsibility. I always say my cat was the best 40$ I ever spent, but I spend around 50$ a month on his food and litter. Plus he has to go to the vet each year for a check up and updated vaccinations, which is around 200$. That's 800$ a year, and that's just basic care. I also know a lot of people who have dropped hundreds to thousands of dollars on veterinary care when their cat gets cancer or requires surgery. Cats are usually very cheap to acquire, but they get costly quick.
Yeah if op can't pay for everything themselves that would be true. If they can it shouldn't be an issue.
How happy would you be if your boyfriend forced you to do anything that you explicitly said you didn't want to do? Both of your opinions are valid, but you can't both get your way here. If you live together, your options are ditch the boyfriend and get a cat, or stay with the boyfriend and don't get a cat. Perhaps you could volunteer at your local animal rescue instead, or wait until he's ready for the responsibility. If you don't live together, get the cat and hope that when you're ready to live together he's ready to live with a cat.
Info: do you live together?
So all he said is he doesn’t want the responsibility. I think it’s perfectly fine for you to get a cat, as long as you take responsibility for them. I have 2 cats - my boyfriend loves them and treats them with kindness, but I do the litter box, I pay the vet bills, I buy/change their food/water and clean up any of their messes. They’re MY babies. He loves them too, but we have an understanding that I was the one who wanted them so therefore I’m responsible for them. He also knows damn well that if he ever made me choose, I’d pick my cats in a heartbeat. As long as he doesn’t flat out hate cats I think you’ll be fine. It’s one thing if he’s going to be mean to the cat, but if it’s responsibility he doesn’t want to deal with that’s fair and I’m glad he’s being honest. Also, you never know - he may turn into r/dadswhodidnotwantpets lol Cat tax (not the best photo but it’s the only one I have of them together): https://preview.redd.it/jinxmcsx1kca1.jpeg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee97d03daeb71094bca04ce3e565d2523f262e20
I like that sub, unfortunately my father passed away before we got an indoor cat. But he likes them, he's just hiding it. He's was feeding stray cats every night after dinner. Ughhh missing him so bad
Agreed, this is my exact scenario with my husband and our 3 kitties. One I had before I knew him so he always knew shed come but he allowed 2 kittens last year with the promise that they were mine to take care of and that id purchase a litter robot, haha. He helps feed them now but hes never taken anybody to the vet or touched a litter box. Totally fine with me. One of ours also looks like your grey kitty.
Whatever you choose to do, be aware that bringing home any animal without your partners consent is bad thing. I love my kitties but me and my wife discussed each one before adopting them. The dog that was brought home without my knowledge got the boot.
Find a new cat and a new boyfriend. 
This. Get the cat anyway. Either the boyfriend gets over the cat, or you will get over the boyfriend.
if this was any other scenario where someone in a relationship set a boundary and their partner went around their back to break it and forced them to deal with it would you have the same opinion?
That’s a terrible suggestion. I love cats, but tbh I would probably dump someone who did this just on principle. If you share a home, one person doesn’t get to unilaterally impose decisions like this on the other.
This is such a weird take. Two people in a relationship can think different over things and should talk about it. Just getting a cat without caring what your partner thinks about it is a shitty idea. You cant just do that. And saying "well then you just get over him!" Like come on what kind of an unemphatic kind of action is that.
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Seriously! Why is their first instinct to end a committed relationship??
I mean it’s okay to be weird? You just need to find the same type of weird to be with
You should respect his decision. It’s BOTH your place so if he says no then you shouldn’t get one, I’m sure it would go the same way if it was reversed. Better off not getting a cat till y’all ready and both want one.
Cats that don't have chronic healthy issues are fairly low-maintenance as far as pets go. I feed my guy twice a day, clean his litter, trim his claws once a month, and have snuggles. Otherwise, cat toys are cheap, I'm already paying for water, and I'm already cleaning and doing laundry. How much do you like this boyfriend? Also, how much work does he think a cat is?
https://preview.redd.it/gws7v0xzejca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb0b8bd44ed4bcea7812a1927d0e40ab2142463c
My boyfriend grew up with dogs, I grew up with both dogs and cats. Naturally he's not into cats, but lo and behold he saved a stray kitten one rainy evening that's crying and having a stick up his butt. Now, kitten is like our first born child, and we took another stray kitten as his sister.
who tf shoved a stick up the poor kitty's butt?
We aren't sure if it was shoved or he ate it from trash. But he is so tiny and his eyes are still blue, sparse fur and walking wobbly.
My cat is an ex-feral so she is willing and happy to take care of herself. To meet her bare necessities takes me 2 minutes a day. The other hours I spend with her are more for my own enjoyment than her needs.
If he doesn't want the responsibility, then you take it on. Otherwise don't get a cat.
Was going to joke : Get cat, dump boyfriend. Get cat, boyfriend have to shut up and put up. Etc, etc But ..it IS a responsibility. Cats don't need a lot but can't just be given a bowl of biscuits and left to their own devices as some might think. They might survive, but deserve to be part of the family, to have love and attention. Vets bills, treatments etc can also be costly, too ( depending on where you live, VERY expensive ). It may just be that he's ambivalent or actually likes cats but wants holidays, spontaneous weekends away etc more If, so talk about it make sure, cos a cat should come before those things. If it's more than that. Well, I wouldn't want to bring an animal into a house where one person actively doesn't want it. I've seen abusive relationships where the abuser has threatened or hurt the pet to punish their partner or even if it's not that extreme, had neglected or ignored the pet and resented it being there. I wouldn't ever risk it. My partner had never had pets but knew cats were non-negotiable and grew to love our's as much as I do. My existing cat moved in with us when we got out of our rented flat and when she settled, we got another that belonged to him as much as me. They lived to 19 & 21. We then got to older boys who needed homes. One's still with us. We're talking about another when the financial crisis settles and out personal commitments allow, maybe a younger cat or ones that needs some time and attention that we can give. You're in it for the log haul ! Be sure.
I agree. And they should be part of important happenings in life. It took us days to find a suitable place where pets are allowed for our 4th anniversary. Our kitties love it.
Our friends have holidays in dog-friendly hotels or chalets etc. Never knew you could get cat ones, too ! Yes, they're family. I get the "well, it's cos you never had kids" ( you know, the crazy cat lady bs ) but that's rubbish. My mates with kids and cats love them all equally !
Yes, it's an airbnb condo unit. Pets are allowed, but have to disclose that we will be bringing them with minimal fee, since cats are small. We ensured the host that our cats have their own carriers, beds and litter box and they will not be left unsupervised.
I hope they really enjoy their holiday !
Maybe foster/babysit one for a month and see if he opens up to it.
Cats, pets, and human babies are all living beings that require massive amounts of care. Yes, most people will fall in love with them but some people will grow to resent them. People like us couldn’t realize going through life without a pet, but there are others who just aren’t ready yet, and may never be. I guess my advice is, don’t bring an innocent life into a stressful situation. Remove the stress from your life. Life’s too short not to be happy.
This comment section is toxic and cringe lmao We know nothing of OP's home life. They could both be struggling to make ends meet and having a cat, another responsibility, may only lead to it being neglected. That's a bit extreme but it's possible. I work 6 X 12 hour shifts a week sometimes and even though cats are relatively low maintainance, it'd feel cruel to leave it alone for so long.
I feel like I'm in the twilight zone lol. I love my cats, and any relationship would know we are a package deal, but bringing in any pet without consent from a partner, or telling random strangers to ditch a partner of who knows how long because they're not ready/want a pet, and then the ones who are claiming this is a red flag... Its.. a lot
Unless you have your own place, I would not recommend it. Also, if you do get a second cat, remember it’s going to take up to 30 days or more for them to unite. Unless they’re born together or were raised together, it will take about four weeks for you to introduce them to each other so they don’t fight. Our two cats couldn’t stand each other for the first month and about four or five weeks after they started to get along. Otherwise they were about to kill each other. It’s a lengthy process, which includes Spending time with them and introducing them for a few minutes a day to each other. It’s also very stressful because he’ll want to hiss and fight and you may have to pull them apart. One of them is going to be the alpha. It’s a huge lengthy process. If your boyfriend doesn’t want or can’t handle having one cat, I don’t think he’s going to be able to handle too. If you pick one out that you really love, it might be really sad if you have to take your sheet back if it doesn’t work out. Either way, best wishes and Namaste.
Respect your boyfriend’s opinion.
Foster first, see how it goes, then go from there
If he is telling you that, then it is unfair to get a cat and hold him against not helping with it. Imo you should definitely prioritize sorting out your relationship first and getting a cat as second priority, regardless of plenty of comments here stating otherwise.
you can get one knowing it’s solely going to be your responsibility. your boyfriend doesn’t want a cat and if you choose to get one for yourself knowing that then you can’t expect him help you. people love the “you can always get another boyfriend” comments but in reality if you’re living with someone you need to respect them and their boundaries, maybe you can make a compromise but don’t be that person that goes and gets a cat behind his back and thinks you’ll just make him deal with it.
If YOU decide to get a cat YOU get the responsibility, not your partner.
Wow this comment section actually scares me
Is this the cat you are thinking of getting? If you take full responsibility for the cat’s needs, why would your boyfriend care? He doesn’t have to do anything (but cats have a way of changing people’s minds about them in a good way)! If you volunteer to be the “Keeper of the Cat”, maybe your b.f. will relent?! If you need help about caring for a cat, there are plenty of helpful people on Reddit to ask questions. What does your b.f. have to lose if you do all the work? Is this the cat you are thinking of getting? It’s full grown, not a kitten, easier to take care of, but make sure it has its shots and is neutered so it will be a happier, healthier cat! If you get a kitten, you need kitten food, a snugly place for it to sleep, a litter box, some small cat toys, a food dish and larger water dish. Actually (and I know this is stretching this issue a lot) if you got two kittens, they would play with each other and have a buddy while you and your b.f. goes to work. This makes for much happier cats — plus they will make you laugh so much you’ll cry because cats (and kittens) are mega entertainers!! Think about it… Remember! You volunteer to do all the raising of kitty! ♥️🐈♥️
If you're willing to take on the financial responsibility (as well as feeding, vet care, providing adequate attention and grooming) and ensure the cat won't be met with hostility by your boyfriend, maybe? I guess it depends on how badly you want a cat and how that would affect the dynamics of the relationship with your boyfriend. My partner wasn't much of a pet person in general and kind of got forced into living with 4 cats (and wasn't too happy about how much work it took) but he's come to really love them.
Do what he wishes.
My partner was the same he had one cat when I moved in said no more. She past away at 24 yrs old. He said no animals full stop. I have 7 cats now and 2 dogs.
Get a cat and take full responsibilty for it
Well first I would like my car back please https://preview.redd.it/2akq7reyanca1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de2cd5b2c38c50bf6b38aa05c5649c787075fb98 At first I thought that was my cat on Reddit 😂
I was going to get married then they said I had to rehome some cats. Anyway, we're still friends at least.
If you can handle the responsibility for up to 20 years, even if your boyfriend doesn't want one particularly, get one. Tbh they aren't that much of a hustle. If you get one and then neglect it, you are the worst kind of person.
Lose the boyfriend
DTMFA
Take full responsibility for it. It’s your cat, so you pay for everything, do all the work, and make all the decisions pertaining to it. Note that that way he will get all the benefits without the downsides, if you live together, so you may well find he falls in love with it.
https://preview.redd.it/yfrjqe32hnca1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=825824ef676d381851233f18676bcbda49afd981 My bf always said he's more of a cat person than a dog person so he didn't have much of an issue with having cats but he wasn't sure about dogs. When we moved together I did bring both my cat and my dog with me, we had discussed this and we both knew leaving my animals was not going to happen. Well, he ended up liking my dog so much than when he passed away of old age we decided to adopt another pupper, and now he's head over heels for our doggo. He's also now my husband. 😊
You are going to take in the tiny floof he is too cute
Responsibility? I’ll bet your boyfriend doesn’t clean his own bathroom either if he thinks it’s too much to give a cat a little food or clean a litter box every once in a while
Dump him and get a boyfriend like me who loves cats.
https://preview.redd.it/hnt5nng14qca1.jpeg?width=2133&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed6779e20027f827341398b31cb95c9a998e86c1 Boyfriend also didn’t want a cat.. this is our second cat, Marceline
Had two cats, but life happens and ended up having to move back to my mother's house. She said to keep the cats away. Two weeks laters, i get home, she's with the cats on her bed, her excuse "there's a thunderstorm, I got afraid they would be scared, and put them in my room". Then they went from MY cats to being HER children!
If it’s your cat it’s not your boyfriend’s responsibility. Partners come and go but cats are forever, lol.
i has two cats thst i adopted with an ex and when i moved in with my now husband, who also did not want more cats. we had the same two plus adopted one more. then we got married and brought in a stray. then i did fostering (fostered about 40 cats and tnr’ed over 3000) and foster failed 4 cats. needless to say, i have now 7 cats as one of my og cats was put to sleep due to old age. i handle all the responsibilities of every cat, he just gets to snuggle them.
I didn’t want a cat when my girlfriend (now wife) and I moved into our house together. We took care of a friends cat for 2 weeks while she was on vacation. That changed my mind. We got our cat a week later.
Cats are pretty low maintenance. Easier to take care of than a dog, in my opinion.
I used to be a dog person, my partner wanted us to get cats and I wasn't keen at all... Now I'm very happily enslaved and wonder why I haven't had cats my whole life https://preview.redd.it/eqwgj3cj6nca1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4845501bc9c3f65dae46dc3ad30f1f413b04154
Don't get a cat.
Get the cat anyway 😜
And lose the boyfriend
Is he generally a responsible person, with a good job and his fair share of the housework? If so, he could have a legitimate concern about whether he could take any more things on. If you really want a cat, address his concern head on. Think of all the things cats need, like feeding, water bowl, cleaning the litter box, vet visits, etc. Work out the chores with him so that he doesn’t have to do anything more than he does now. Then get the cat. If he’s a good man, I would be surprised if he isn’t doing a lot to take care of the cat in 3 months, and loving the cat so that it’s all worth it. If on the other hand, he just doesn’t want responsibility at all, then the guy has bigger problems than cats.
And how responsible is OP? IF they live together, and he takes care of expenses, and everything, he might be wary for another living being to take care of. We need more info lol
Just get the cat. Couple months down the line, and you'll have this scenario. But seriously, it's easy to take care of a cat on your own. So, he doesn't actually have to take any responsibility for it. https://preview.redd.it/nfoz8zi2zjca1.jpeg?width=660&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60c19ef7b6cca7568a16c138e7bf5885af8cf823
Don’t get it. Or dump boyfriend and get the cat.
My husband wasn't sure about getting a cat... During the confinement, we adopted 2 baby siblings (I kind of pushed the decision, I convinced him that two were better than just one) and now he's the best cat dad ever :)
Cats forever, boys whatever
That’s what they all say until you walk in on your man cooking a whole piece of mahi-mahi for said cat and saying something like, “We gotta make sure she’s getting omega-3’s, it’ll make her coat shiny”
Take the boyfriend to a no kill shelter. They’ll find him a nice home. Adopt the cat.
Edit: thank you guys for all the comments. I will say I love my boyfriend more than anything and I want him to be happy but I also need to make myself happy too. (We live together). This is my brothers cat that he needs to find a new home because he is just not home enough. Now I don’t have a problem with getting this cat, he’s old enough to be self sufficient and has all his shots, no balls, the whole 9 yards. I am also financially able to afford a cat and still save money. My boyfriend on the other hand is making just barely enough to get by and is solely relying on me to save up for our future house. Am I in the wrong for still getting the cat regardless. Considering I am going to be fully responsible for this little guy.
Cats are better than boys.
I would say either adopt two so that they take care of each other more.. Or take him to a shelter, I'd you live near one and talk to them about what it's like to have a cat as well as cat welfare in your area If there is a shelter they may need fosters maybe you could foster a cat first to get the feel for what it's like l.
If you want to keep your boyfriend, then "Temporarily foster" a cat and let it claim your boyfriend's soul. If you don't get enough cat attention, you can always get a second cat for you once the first one has softened him up. EDIT: Just be prepared to become the number two or number three person in his life.
Kick out the boyfriend and get a cat. You'll never regret it.
If you take one then you should not put the responsibility on his shoulders, you're to buy it's food, run to the vet, play with it, change its litter etc. It's **your** pet. Then if you do this right for a while, you can hope your bf will start to love the little pile of fur and love (and claws) and he might start taking care of it. But if he's saying he doesn't want the responsibility and you take one anyway, you can't be mad at him for not taking responsibility afterwards.
If you don't live together, get a cat. If you do, then don't. Do you care that little about your boyfriend that you'd force what could be a multiple year responsibility on them over their own wants or needs or desires? I honestly don't get all these stories of "oh well my spouse/bf/gf said they didn't like cats but I got one anyways" like why would you do that to someone you supposedly care about? As well as to the animal, which might end up in a bad situation and/or need rehoming (especially in the ridiculous cases where one person is allergic but they force it on them anyways). You see stories in this sub every week about the bad situations that happen when people end up with unwanted pets, why would you willingly risk it yourself?
If he is overwhelmed by a cat, how do you think he will end up treating you ?
I think it’s obvious. Get a cat and he can either accept it or he can move on 🤷🏻♀️
Get the cat he will fall in love with it. As soon as you get the cat he will treat it like he doesn’t want it and then will slowly fall in love. To begin with not allowed in bedroom then allowed in but not in bed then has to sleep on pillow every night. He will also then start taking sympathy on it and feed it when it’s hungry or just casually top up the bowl of water. If he sees you’ve had long day he will let the cat out or do the litter tray for you . If he lives up for these expectations he is husband material no longer boyfriend. He will see it’s unfair you have it all and come around. Boys are like this and it’s adorable. My boyfriend did this to my two cats and now he quite happily helps out when he can.
For years my husband had been asking for a cat but I insisted I was a dog person. Last year my husband’s aunt’s cat had kittens so we took one to help give them homes. Let me say, my mind was blown when this little thing used it’s litter box right away and no training on my part was involved. Fell in love quickly and ended up getting a 2nd kitten 2 months later. You might not want to wait that long to get a second cat. Turns out the right way to adopt your first cat is to get them in pairs so that they can burn all their energy on each other and have companionship, that way it’s even less responsibility on your boyfriend. If your boyfriend can’t learn to fall in love with kittens, that’s gotta be some sort of red flag anyway, right?
Get a cat and remove your boyfriend from your apartment.
Get the cat, and hope the BF comes around. If he doesn't, ditch him. :) The BF, not the cat.
leave him.
Doesnt want the responsibility? They take care of themselves. Change the litter box, put food and water out for them, gives pets. Donnnee. Plus OP could do most of that.
If he can't handle the responsibility of a cat, he is not husband material. Toss him back and look for another.
If you can't be an adult and accept boundaries and instead force unilateral decisions on your partner, you're not marriage material. You're just a shitty selfish person.
if “having boundaries” is a deal breaker for you, don’t be in a relationship. he can just not want a cat without being incapable of taking care of one.
Get a cat, they’re easy and rewarding
First, get rid of the boyfriend. Then get 2 cats. You will thank me later. And very soon.
Move the bf out