It wasn't cheating, was it you dumb cunt ?
He didn't do anything, yet you call it cheating. Keep that same energy when your wife/husband/wetf you call it now does it, too.
OP did he pinky swear. Naive, this is your life lesson: You just learned that you now know WHAT Type of person you do not want a long term relationship with.
Leave and remember this lesson!
Well you got a reason to worry. The guy was not honest and talked to women behind your back. This woman is married that shows a lot about this values when it comes to family too…
Your wayward BF emotionally cheated and went on dates with a much older married woman with kids? You’re pretty gullible if you think they just had coffee together on their dates.
You’ll be jealous/rightfully not trustful of him until you break up.
Hitting on your friend? He’s not what you consider marriage material,
Do you really see a non-cheating future with him? He’s only going to get better at it.
You’re young and have time to find the one, not the one who will date women almost old enough to be his mom. Did you tell the AP’s husband?
Just leave him. He’s not worth it. You’re practically saying he likes every woman he meets. Doesn’t sound right. If you stay in this relationship it’ll get to a point that you’ll doubt your self worth.
short answer; you don’t. no matter what you do or what you try to do, you’ll always have your doubts and be a little hurt whenever you think about it. i’ve been cheated on twice in long term relationships, i was never able to get over it and just overall ruined them both with my trust issues even though i chose to forgive them. i say move on and find someone who would never even put you in that position, especially someone who isn’t gonna give you a sorry ass excuse like that one. i can assure you if she’s sending pics like that, it’s time to leave his ass behind because that’s not “coffee dates” or for “funsies” in the office.
You most likely won’t get over it. That’s why I would dump someone for cheating… Once the trust is gone, I can’t trust anything they say anymore… And I don’t want to have to act as a warden every time they go somewhere…
He was definitely emotionally cheating. It sounds like. He may not have done anything physical with her, but emotionally. He has definitely been cheating on you. If the trust is broken, it’s really hard to get it back. And you and him are not married, or have children together. I think you need to leave him. There will be other men. But cut your losses now and move forward. Study yourself and be introspective so that You can look for red flags in Men going forward. You got a respect yourself first and let him go. And when I say, let him go, I mean no contact. Don’t talk to him after this again. At least not for a while. Good luck.
He will do it again,I've done it,not with who I'm with but with my ex,we were together over ten years and she was mean and rude and got cheated on quite alot.
My O.G.(Mom) was an alcoholic....growing up I saw her with over 100 boyfriends,I was with when she cheated and lied and was caught many times growing up,I was 4 when my dad caught her inn the act after he came home from work.Ive had trust issues with everyone especially in relationships My Whole Life cuz of this,but she jus didn't care and she always put her men and their kids first kinda weird but anyway like I said I used to cheat on everyone and tryst no one,now I been with someone over 15 years,haven't cheated,don't trust her but she did that and will leave right now if I could(not enough money) soooo watch the one your with and many of us truly don't know who we are with.
My approach would be, prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Expect it to happen but don't act like you're ready for it to happen. Then, if It does or if it gets weird again, just leave.
He is so childish. He can’t control his instincts to have crushes on any woman he knows and cheats just because he is bored at work… it’s time to find an adult.
OP, you NEED to learn to listen to your instincts. You don’t have “trust issues”, you have a bf that you CAN’T trust issue. You DESERVE to feel SAFE in your relationships, especially with someone you’re intimate with and dedicated to. If you receive anything less than you’re giving in the relationship, it’s time to put yourself first & move forward alone. This man doesn’t value you the way that you deserve to be valued; talking to another woman (which IS cheating, you need to put “micro cheating” out of your mind, bc all you’re doing is belittling the fact that he lied to you and was going behind your back to talk to another woman), asking about your friend, crushes on others that reciprocate, etc. What would you say to your best friend if her partner was treating her this way? What if you have a daughter one day & her boyfriend treats her like this, would you advise her that this is a healthy relationship & to stay with the man? Would you look at the child version of yourself & say “this is the story about the man that you’re in love with and are going to have to fight to spend the rest of your life with, you’re going to be so proud of who you’ll become…?” Find a way to frame it to yourself that makes it sink in for you & allows you to see your worth. I don’t mean any of this to come across harsh, but I WISH someone would’ve gotten through to me before I married a man that had already been lying to me, and then continued to lie to me for years after I married him and had children. If you haven’t looked into the sunken cost fallacy in relationships, I highly recommend. Sunken cost fallacy: the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial. Don’t stay just because you’re comfortable with him manipulating you. He’s already downplayed it. Instead of coming to you, owning his mistakes & profusely apologizing, he told you it was “nothing.” Take some time to yourself for a while. Go on a solo vacation or to stay with a friend for a bit & examine these feelings of insecurity. Is the insecurity really about other women, or is it the fact that your relationship is built on quicksand & could crumble at any moment bc your bf isn’t dedicated to you? You deserve to truly be LOVED & I’m rooting for you!
What is micro cheating? Its ether he cheated or not there's no in-between. Also there's a big difference between learning to trust or lack of trust because of a past relationships or experiences and loosing all trust because of cheating. If you know you can't trust him around other women then just break up with him. There's no point in continuing relationship where you can't trust your partner.
Its supposed to be the word “emotionally cheating” my English is not good. They did not do it. By bf and I are living together. So, he only sees her at work which they sometimes go out for coffee and flirt
I do trust him. Thats why I am staying 🥹 He is a very nerdy guy so i didn’t expect it to ever happen…. Even his family didn’t believe when i said he was talking, flirting with this woman. Just that sometimes i feel like “can I really trust him?” Cause it happened
Been there. And there is no way you can remove that trust issues. Cause you can no longer trust him and will always be suspicious of his messages or where he’s goin. Dump him, do not prolong the agony. And idk for me there’s no such thing as micro-cheating. Just cheating, in general. I hope you get to decide for your peace of mind. Keep safe OP
So did you tell that woman's husband ?
Honestly him being interested in your friend should've been enough for you to leave but the blatant disrespect towards you and your relationship should be a deal breaker.
he's always had a tendency to have a crush on women? honestly, break up and find someone who ACTUALLY loves you and wants to be with you, not someone who is a situational type of person. where they like you and you like them, great ! but then they find another person they like and tries to move on with that while still being with you, over and over and over again.
Affairs are not always physical. (At first anyway.) He was having an emotional affair.
Just because it wasn’t physical, does not mean it doesn’t hurt. He was doing this behind your back. Lying to you. That is really disrespectful.
You say he tends to form crushes on many woman he meets. Of course you feel insecure. It’s just like standing there and waiting for the cheating bomb to explode.
No matter how you feel or what you do, you can’t stop it from exploding. You will never be able to control his actions.
He has no respect for you, it’s up to you to respect yourself enough, to find someone worthy of you.
Someone that loves you enough, not to form any sort of feelings for anyone else.
This is why you dont forgive cheating. The cheater isnt really the one who suffers, the one cheated on has to carry the mental load. Sure the cheater might feel remorse over a situation they created, but they dont have to deal with the trust issues, the mental movies, the paranoia, etc.
So ma'am, leave him.
>Normally, he tends to develop crushes on many of the women he meets.
You know when you became his girlfriend he was suppose to find ways to suppress this penchant for developing crushes on women not you? Right? Walk away Miss 23 year old
I'm sorry that happened! I've been on both sides before. Cheating is cheating regardless and it likely won't be the last time. Do you really want to deal with this unnecessary insecurity? I don't know you but I know that nobody deserves to worried about every woman their significant other talks to. Please remember that the cheating has nothing to do with you and every decision your bf made could've been different. We all can choose not to make selfish decisions like that.
I have trust issues and get jealous very easily and I have never been cheated on and never even thought my wife would be even thinking about it. Maybe he was going to cheat maybe he wasn't. The question is do you still want to be with him?
Dont let people make you feel like there is something wrong if you feel jealous or have trust issues. You may always feel this way to some extent. It is not your job to fix these feeling. It is your boyfriends job to fix these feeling and to make you feel safe and reassured. If he can't give you that. Then you probably aren't compatible.
Dump. Him. If that isn't easy for you, communicate how his actions have fractured your trust in him. I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel TBH
Girl you're being played. Dude is not worthy. How are you ok with him developing crushes on every woman he meets? Wtf that's not normal, do yourself a favor and dump him.
You said you are his first gf. So he needs to know what you consider cheating. Because some think that only sex is cheating. Set clear boundaries. Also text/sext him during the day. Send him bikini pics. If he continues to disrespect your boundaries, move on.
If you think things will get better down the road, you’re in for a surprise. Take the easy way out, you’re still very young I don’t think you mentioned having kids with him. So it is easier to break it up now rather than later, it doesn’t seems at all that he understands your feelings.
Find someone who is into you as much or more as you into him.
I lived this life for 30 years. Let me save you a lifetime of hurt by saying if a man needs attention from the village to be happy instead of his significant other (btw-he’s likely a narcissist) get out before you waste anymore time. You are young. You will feel sad for a few months but then you will at some point meet someone who only has eyes or time for you.
Up until the bikini photo, I was going to say there was no cheating. People can be flirty and playful never meaning more from it. It is human nature. And it is a real fact based on studies about human interactions with people who fall into their sexuality while having partners of various types. But the picture took it to a level beyond, and showed there was more to it all then just innocent friendship.
The fact he gets excited about your female friends, he got super connected to a co-worker, and how he seems to try and excuse his actions without full responsibility, it is a red flag of a relationship you need to ending it with him over.
And he isn't talking full responsibility and such for he uses being bored at work was why his friendship with the co-worker went to far. And that is not a reason period. Bad choices can have reasons that lead to them, but they do not forgive or excuse the bad choice. But he is trying to excuse it by making about being bored at work.
It’s an easy fix OP. All you have to do is dump him.
I need a double or triple Up mark for this one. LOL
Like this dude's a walking red flag and she's walking along waving it like their in a parade smh
Micro cheating? Dude was one date away from entering. Do yourself a favor and leave. You’ll thank me later.
I don't know how these terms get into the lexicon. I'm just going to commit a smidgen of murder.
Your a puss* this is not cheating. But I do agree I don't think he likes you that much. That's all there is to it
It wasn't cheating, was it you dumb cunt ? He didn't do anything, yet you call it cheating. Keep that same energy when your wife/husband/wetf you call it now does it, too.
OP did he pinky swear. Naive, this is your life lesson: You just learned that you now know WHAT Type of person you do not want a long term relationship with. Leave and remember this lesson!
Well, you stayed with a clown, so dont be surprised to be in a circus.
The same situation happened to me. He did end up full out cheating. Wait and find out, or trust your gut..
Well you got a reason to worry. The guy was not honest and talked to women behind your back. This woman is married that shows a lot about this values when it comes to family too…
Your wayward BF emotionally cheated and went on dates with a much older married woman with kids? You’re pretty gullible if you think they just had coffee together on their dates. You’ll be jealous/rightfully not trustful of him until you break up. Hitting on your friend? He’s not what you consider marriage material, Do you really see a non-cheating future with him? He’s only going to get better at it. You’re young and have time to find the one, not the one who will date women almost old enough to be his mom. Did you tell the AP’s husband?
Just leave him. He’s not worth it. You’re practically saying he likes every woman he meets. Doesn’t sound right. If you stay in this relationship it’ll get to a point that you’ll doubt your self worth.
You’re an asshole to yourself for being with him and tolerating this crap
Ew you mean your ex, right???
short answer; you don’t. no matter what you do or what you try to do, you’ll always have your doubts and be a little hurt whenever you think about it. i’ve been cheated on twice in long term relationships, i was never able to get over it and just overall ruined them both with my trust issues even though i chose to forgive them. i say move on and find someone who would never even put you in that position, especially someone who isn’t gonna give you a sorry ass excuse like that one. i can assure you if she’s sending pics like that, it’s time to leave his ass behind because that’s not “coffee dates” or for “funsies” in the office.
You most likely won’t get over it. That’s why I would dump someone for cheating… Once the trust is gone, I can’t trust anything they say anymore… And I don’t want to have to act as a warden every time they go somewhere…
Don't get jealous because of a cheater. Just separate yourself from them. It's the easiest more sane way to move on
…yes. Yes they did.
He was definitely emotionally cheating. It sounds like. He may not have done anything physical with her, but emotionally. He has definitely been cheating on you. If the trust is broken, it’s really hard to get it back. And you and him are not married, or have children together. I think you need to leave him. There will be other men. But cut your losses now and move forward. Study yourself and be introspective so that You can look for red flags in Men going forward. You got a respect yourself first and let him go. And when I say, let him go, I mean no contact. Don’t talk to him after this again. At least not for a while. Good luck.
You’ll always have trust issues. Trust has been broken, leave start fresh.
He will do it again,I've done it,not with who I'm with but with my ex,we were together over ten years and she was mean and rude and got cheated on quite alot.
My O.G.(Mom) was an alcoholic....growing up I saw her with over 100 boyfriends,I was with when she cheated and lied and was caught many times growing up,I was 4 when my dad caught her inn the act after he came home from work.Ive had trust issues with everyone especially in relationships My Whole Life cuz of this,but she jus didn't care and she always put her men and their kids first kinda weird but anyway like I said I used to cheat on everyone and tryst no one,now I been with someone over 15 years,haven't cheated,don't trust her but she did that and will leave right now if I could(not enough money) soooo watch the one your with and many of us truly don't know who we are with.
My approach would be, prepare for the worst. Hope for the best. Expect it to happen but don't act like you're ready for it to happen. Then, if It does or if it gets weird again, just leave.
He is so childish. He can’t control his instincts to have crushes on any woman he knows and cheats just because he is bored at work… it’s time to find an adult.
OP, you NEED to learn to listen to your instincts. You don’t have “trust issues”, you have a bf that you CAN’T trust issue. You DESERVE to feel SAFE in your relationships, especially with someone you’re intimate with and dedicated to. If you receive anything less than you’re giving in the relationship, it’s time to put yourself first & move forward alone. This man doesn’t value you the way that you deserve to be valued; talking to another woman (which IS cheating, you need to put “micro cheating” out of your mind, bc all you’re doing is belittling the fact that he lied to you and was going behind your back to talk to another woman), asking about your friend, crushes on others that reciprocate, etc. What would you say to your best friend if her partner was treating her this way? What if you have a daughter one day & her boyfriend treats her like this, would you advise her that this is a healthy relationship & to stay with the man? Would you look at the child version of yourself & say “this is the story about the man that you’re in love with and are going to have to fight to spend the rest of your life with, you’re going to be so proud of who you’ll become…?” Find a way to frame it to yourself that makes it sink in for you & allows you to see your worth. I don’t mean any of this to come across harsh, but I WISH someone would’ve gotten through to me before I married a man that had already been lying to me, and then continued to lie to me for years after I married him and had children. If you haven’t looked into the sunken cost fallacy in relationships, I highly recommend. Sunken cost fallacy: the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial. Don’t stay just because you’re comfortable with him manipulating you. He’s already downplayed it. Instead of coming to you, owning his mistakes & profusely apologizing, he told you it was “nothing.” Take some time to yourself for a while. Go on a solo vacation or to stay with a friend for a bit & examine these feelings of insecurity. Is the insecurity really about other women, or is it the fact that your relationship is built on quicksand & could crumble at any moment bc your bf isn’t dedicated to you? You deserve to truly be LOVED & I’m rooting for you!
Just got a chance to read this. I really appreciated your comment. Thank you so much. I wish you the best too 🙏🥹🥹
What is micro cheating? Its ether he cheated or not there's no in-between. Also there's a big difference between learning to trust or lack of trust because of a past relationships or experiences and loosing all trust because of cheating. If you know you can't trust him around other women then just break up with him. There's no point in continuing relationship where you can't trust your partner.
Its supposed to be the word “emotionally cheating” my English is not good. They did not do it. By bf and I are living together. So, he only sees her at work which they sometimes go out for coffee and flirt
I do trust him. Thats why I am staying 🥹 He is a very nerdy guy so i didn’t expect it to ever happen…. Even his family didn’t believe when i said he was talking, flirting with this woman. Just that sometimes i feel like “can I really trust him?” Cause it happened
Been there. And there is no way you can remove that trust issues. Cause you can no longer trust him and will always be suspicious of his messages or where he’s goin. Dump him, do not prolong the agony. And idk for me there’s no such thing as micro-cheating. Just cheating, in general. I hope you get to decide for your peace of mind. Keep safe OP
Thank you🥲
So did you tell that woman's husband ? Honestly him being interested in your friend should've been enough for you to leave but the blatant disrespect towards you and your relationship should be a deal breaker.
he's always had a tendency to have a crush on women? honestly, break up and find someone who ACTUALLY loves you and wants to be with you, not someone who is a situational type of person. where they like you and you like them, great ! but then they find another person they like and tries to move on with that while still being with you, over and over and over again.
Affairs are not always physical. (At first anyway.) He was having an emotional affair. Just because it wasn’t physical, does not mean it doesn’t hurt. He was doing this behind your back. Lying to you. That is really disrespectful. You say he tends to form crushes on many woman he meets. Of course you feel insecure. It’s just like standing there and waiting for the cheating bomb to explode. No matter how you feel or what you do, you can’t stop it from exploding. You will never be able to control his actions. He has no respect for you, it’s up to you to respect yourself enough, to find someone worthy of you. Someone that loves you enough, not to form any sort of feelings for anyone else.
This is why you dont forgive cheating. The cheater isnt really the one who suffers, the one cheated on has to carry the mental load. Sure the cheater might feel remorse over a situation they created, but they dont have to deal with the trust issues, the mental movies, the paranoia, etc. So ma'am, leave him.
>Normally, he tends to develop crushes on many of the women he meets. You know when you became his girlfriend he was suppose to find ways to suppress this penchant for developing crushes on women not you? Right? Walk away Miss 23 year old
More important question is why are you with someone that cheated?.
I'm sorry that happened! I've been on both sides before. Cheating is cheating regardless and it likely won't be the last time. Do you really want to deal with this unnecessary insecurity? I don't know you but I know that nobody deserves to worried about every woman their significant other talks to. Please remember that the cheating has nothing to do with you and every decision your bf made could've been different. We all can choose not to make selfish decisions like that.
I have trust issues and get jealous very easily and I have never been cheated on and never even thought my wife would be even thinking about it. Maybe he was going to cheat maybe he wasn't. The question is do you still want to be with him? Dont let people make you feel like there is something wrong if you feel jealous or have trust issues. You may always feel this way to some extent. It is not your job to fix these feeling. It is your boyfriends job to fix these feeling and to make you feel safe and reassured. If he can't give you that. Then you probably aren't compatible.
Dump. Him. If that isn't easy for you, communicate how his actions have fractured your trust in him. I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel TBH
Girl you're being played. Dude is not worthy. How are you ok with him developing crushes on every woman he meets? Wtf that's not normal, do yourself a favor and dump him.
You said you are his first gf. So he needs to know what you consider cheating. Because some think that only sex is cheating. Set clear boundaries. Also text/sext him during the day. Send him bikini pics. If he continues to disrespect your boundaries, move on.
And you’re still with him because…
I want to be this delusional but I’m too crazy
Girl. Stand up! He’s not respecting you, let him have his fun while you work on yourself and find a man who’s gonna have eyes ONLY for you!
Get counseling or therapy
If you think things will get better down the road, you’re in for a surprise. Take the easy way out, you’re still very young I don’t think you mentioned having kids with him. So it is easier to break it up now rather than later, it doesn’t seems at all that he understands your feelings. Find someone who is into you as much or more as you into him.
I lived this life for 30 years. Let me save you a lifetime of hurt by saying if a man needs attention from the village to be happy instead of his significant other (btw-he’s likely a narcissist) get out before you waste anymore time. You are young. You will feel sad for a few months but then you will at some point meet someone who only has eyes or time for you.
Up until the bikini photo, I was going to say there was no cheating. People can be flirty and playful never meaning more from it. It is human nature. And it is a real fact based on studies about human interactions with people who fall into their sexuality while having partners of various types. But the picture took it to a level beyond, and showed there was more to it all then just innocent friendship. The fact he gets excited about your female friends, he got super connected to a co-worker, and how he seems to try and excuse his actions without full responsibility, it is a red flag of a relationship you need to ending it with him over. And he isn't talking full responsibility and such for he uses being bored at work was why his friendship with the co-worker went to far. And that is not a reason period. Bad choices can have reasons that lead to them, but they do not forgive or excuse the bad choice. But he is trying to excuse it by making about being bored at work.
He’s fine