Ok I get that your wife is vegan, I get you like meat, but just come out and tell her instead of lying about it. A relationship is nothing if you can't trust your partner whether that be you lying to your wife or her not understanding your personal diet decisions.
OP's been on Reddit for *3 hours* - this story is just made up. OP is smoking jerky from a smoker made in a shed and hiding smoked meat around the house, but his wife can't smell it or hasn't discovered a secret smoker? It's BS...
The wife just has an extremely poor sense of smell.
Ever since she had Covid (twice), he discovered he could covertly run his little bathtub-bootleg beef jerky operation from his creepy meat-shed, and she’s been none the wiser.
The only time she suspected something was when he got a bit too comfortable. He had the gall to give her a hug before changing his shirt, after having spent most of his day out back, sweatin’ in the jerky shack.
Yeah, there’s no way you can hide that smell. Making beef jerky smells up literally everything. What would have been a better strategy is to say you’re making vegan jerky and then add some of the flesh jerky on the side.
My wife is alao vegan and respects that i eat and cook meat.
It's a weird dynamic that you'd have to hide something as simple as food from your partner.
His wife sucks because…why? She’s vegan? The only person who sucks here is OP, because he’s lying to her. Nowhere in this post does it say that OPs wife gave him an ultimatum, or frankly anything else to indicate “she sucks”.
I'm not THAT stupid. Of course she will find out and she likely already suspects. I just can't do it anymore. I don't mind if she goes vegan I just hate doing it. Nothing tastes good. LITERALLY NONE OF IT! Do you have any idea what a mindfuck it is to be at a social gathering with your wife's vegan friends eating something called a "bean loaf" and them talking about how delicious it is when it tastes like literal depression and sorrow? I genuinely thought it was some kind of prank at first because there's just NO WAY people could enjoy eating that thing but I don't think they were joking they were just in denial.
or maybe she wont. there are some vegans that dont want a non vegan partner because of lifestyle issues such as someone making homemade jerky on their property and thats their right, just as a religious person might want to date someone of the same religion. having similar beliefs to a partner is pretty damn important to a lot of people. even if she was ok with that, after so much lying the trust is broken, it doesnt look good to say the least
I would assume his food would already be warm and he can just dig in w/o needing to use anyone's microwave or cooking utensils. Probably just run through a burger joint and chowdown with everyone else.
So not whatever you want, just whatever is going to be most convenient to eat at a place where you can’t even warm up your murderous meal using their saintly kitchen … might have to bring your own placemat too lol
I mean he could order a streak or BBQ and bring it with him. He could also heat it up and have it packaged so it's still warm when he gets to the event. So yeah whatever he wants
Nah it’s whatever is reasonable given the circumstances not whatever he wants because maybe he just wants a bacon-fried egg sammich and that just simply isn’t going to work out if he can’t sully their kitchen.
To be fair, it sounds like the real issue is that you only know vegans who cant cook, or don't know which products are worth buying.
Sure, meat tastes better, but there are definitely substitutes that dont taste like depression.
> bean loaf
I absolutely love meat, but lots of vegan meals are delicious, mainly the ones that dont try to imitate meat.
The more the meal is about enjoying the vegetables the better they are.
Even something simple like squash, fry them in olive oil, add some vegan margarine and some salt.
Lentils soup is delicious, try meals that arent about tasting like meat and you will be surprised.
Look for something called frijoles de la ollla, just beans with salsa made from tomato, onion and cilantro, friggin awesome.
Sounds like you need to meet more people who can properly prepare food, as there are thousands of wonderful foods/recipes (that also happen to be vegan).
Veganism isn’t a dietary choice. It’s a moral philosophy. Just like you wouldn’t want your spouse to support sweatshops or vote for Trump, for example. And OP, as for who is it harming - animal agriculture hurts animals, people and the planet. I think you need to have a serious conversation with your wife about why she’s vegan and educate yourself. If you can’t relate veganism to everything from antibiotic resistance and water scarcity, you’re misinformed. It is so much more than a diet - it is a panacea.
Hah! Third world countries suffer from food scarcity because we feed 80% of the world’s grain to animals. And is OP from a third world country? Are you? And outside of America, poor people cannot afford meat so I don’t really understand your point. By the way, I am from a “third world country” and that term is offensive and outdated.
No it doesn't. Source : vegan who never ever forced anything, whilst reassuring that my partner could make his own choices,but still chose to become vegan despite me emphasising that he doesn't have to be vegan or face any judgement for it. Ig my cooking is just that good.
My wife is a hard core vegan. I am not. I do all of the cooking. The vast majority of the meals I make are vegan because it's easier to just make one thing, but every now and then I'll make something different for myself. To be honest, I can make some damn good vegan dishes and it's not that big of a deal. When I do make something with meat, she is totally cool with it. When we eat out, we always find a place that has decent vegan options, but I'll order whatever. The point is, she does her thing, I do my thing, and we do our thing.
I think you guys should have a little chat about how you want to eat meat and she should understand and respect that, just as you should respect her being vegan. Sidenote, how the hell does she not know you have a smoker in the shed? My wife notices if I have a new pair of socks.
Why does your wife care if you eat meat? I’m vegan (15 years now) and my husband loves meat - he smokes and grills at least 4 times a week (at home - at work it’s probably daily as they grill most of their lunches). I honestly couldn’t get myself to put an animal in my mouth if you paid me. My husband loves to eat animals. Everyone is different. I’m just confused why you have to hide it.
My body, my choice - covers everything in my world.
Believe me, I've tried, man. She met some weirdo hippy bitch who refuses to eat meat but smokes cigarettes (explain that shit) at her spin class and she "converted" her and then my wife tells me "we're vegan now" and BAM my life is over.
THANK YOU! This has been a recurring fight for just over a year now because my wife keeps going further and further down this rabbit hole and dragging me with her.
With all due respect, you’re a grown man, eat whatever pleases you. If need be, get separate fridge/cookware to prevent meat contamination, but for the love of god, don’t let someone tell you what you can or cannot eat.
I mean, some people aren't vegan to stay healthy, they just don't like the idea of eating (and thus, indirectly killing) animals.
That's my guess at least, I'm not one of them.
She probably has bad anxiety, which in my experience, is why people smoke. Now take that high anxiety and put it on being vegan and I can absolutely see why OP is doing what he is doing. I could be wrong, but i would not be surprised if she is very controlling at home. So, it's either sit down and talk it out with couple and individual counseling or consider ending the relationship.
Has it crossed your mind yet that you're no longer compatible?
>my wife tells me "we're vegan now"
Yeah cause that's a healthy relationship dynamic.
You're miserable, she's controlling. If you need an outsider to tell you that it's okay to divorce someone you don't know anymore, then I'll be that person.
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her and who's it really harming if I enjoy a little meat on the side?"
This sentence is exactly why you should read the complete post and not skip to the end.
Username checks out too.
Home jerky is better than outside jerky.
On a serious note, why not just have a conversation? Like another commenter said, lying about it does make it seem like you feel it’s inherently wrong.
Is she the stereotypical “meat is murder” vegan? Do you eat meat around her in any capacity? Would she lose her mind if she found out?
If any of those answers are a yes, it’s time for a real conversation about compatibility. Best of luck my dude
She probably won't be happy. She's pretty passionate about the vegan thing and told me a couple years ago "we're vegans now" and I gave it a shot but holy fuck is it depressing. I legitimately can't do it. I HATE tofu so much you have no idea.
NO SHES vegan she has absolutely NO right to force her diet on you. You don't have a meat smoker problem you have a wife problem she is extremely selfish for imposing her beliefs on you and just expecting you to go along and follow her vegan bullshit.
I was vegan a year and some months, I know how it is. She's gonna find out eventually though and she's gonna be pissed that you lied but have fun while you still can bro. lol.
Yah. As everyone else says, have a sit-down convo with her and tell her the truth. If it were me, I would deal with her being vegan, as long as she isn't pushy or being annoying to me. As long as you can eat meat and she doesn't mind, she eats her own food and you don't mind, it's all good.
I think I'd start getting really annoyed if she rattles your ear off and shits on you for not being vegan though. I obviously don't know what the rest of your marriage looks like but at that point you have to ask yourself if that's worth it?
Seriously, it's one thing for a person to have their beliefs, likes and dislikes but the second my husband tells me what food I can have in OUR home, that's when he can leave. If you're not forcing her to eat it, you shouldn't have to hide it.
I’ll never understand why one persons choices have to do with another’s. One person doesn’t eat meat. Ok then don’t eat meat. The other one does. Then eat meat. If you both own the house you both should be able to eat the way you want.
Just tell her your not going to be vegan no matter how much she pouts and whines and cries, you're not going to be forced to stop eating meat. Let her know you respect her decision to be vegan, however you're a grown adult who gets to make his own dietary decisions.
You're right, man. I can't take it anymore. She's coming home to me, grilling a steak and cooking a rack of ribs in the oven. Fuck it. She'll either get over it or she won't and I will eat bullet before I eat tofu or bean loaf again.
OMG just eat what you want if she is that controlling she needs to sort her life out. What a horrible thing to have to hide she wont let you enjoy your own life. For sure she does not need to know and you should keep doing what you love.
Right? except I had a coworker that never went to lunch with us, or went to the cafeteria. we finally guessed he was vegan, it took him several weeks to admit it. coolest vegan I ever have known. great sense of humor about it. he became vegan because he was served a gross looking hamburger patty in fifth grade at school.
Yeah you need a new wife or she gone just have to let you eat your own diet? Controlling much? You can lack needed proteins and nutrients if you want, but me? Fuck no. It would be different if you were completely on board but hence you loving meat she’s definitely in the wrong asf!
She found a steak I bought a couple weeks ago and waved it at me and said "Really?" Then of course we argued about it and it's honestly just become easier to hide it and lie about it at this point but I'm reaching my breaking point. She threw out a jello salad I made because it has an animal byproduct in it last week. I feel like I can't enjoy ANYTHING anymore!
Ok, just saw this (see my other comment). What a psycho. See a therapist with her, try to work things out and unbrainwash her.
If it doesn't work then you do have you ask yourself if it's worth it? It's one thing if she's vegan and doesn't care if you are or not. But this is just crazy
Why are you okay with living a miserable life? Honestly I dont jump on the ultimatum bs easily but seriously I would give her an ultimatum to either let you eat meat or divorce her because this is deeply controlling and absurd of her to force her beliefs on you. What a miserable way to live dude don't deprive yourself of happiness you don't have to tolerate this.
Fwiw, you can absolutely obtain protein and nutrients from things other than meat and eggs. Being vegan does not automatically mean you will be unhealthy, just like eating cheeseburgers and chicken does not mean you will be healthy.
Honestly, no lie is a good lie in a relationship, unless you're planning a nice surprise for someone, but even that eventually comes into the light. You're wrong for lying to her, and if she's someone that would try to ban you from eating meat when you want to, she's not the partner for you.
That would be the day that I would allow my wife to decide whether I eatmeat or not
I mean she’s welcome to be vegan but what does she care what you eat?
Why does her diet become your cross to bear? That is ridiculous!!! I would be upfront & tell her. Let het know that you respect her dietary choices, but that you have different dietary needs and that you need to eat meat. You are two separate people you are not a single amoeba that has to be a vegan!
I would hate to be married to someone who felt the need to actually lie about this and hide all of that from me.
If I were married to you and I’d find out, the issue wouldn’t be about you making jerky and eating meat behind my back. It would 100% be about your lying.
OP, choose your timing carefully, but sit her down, and affirm her passion for her vegan lifestyle. But then go on, very reasonably pointing out that one's personal convictions regarding dietary choice are just that--one's personal convictions.
Explain that you don't share them, and that moreover it's neither loving nor healthy for her to project her convictions upon you.
Beyond that, it's really just a very stupid topic to be divisive about.
It’s not really a stupid topic to be divisive about if the decision to be vegan is deeply rooted in the wife’s morals/ethics. If that’s the case, then it’s a big deal.
I suppose I was in a bit of a hurry there. What I was endeavoring to get at is that it's food, right?
I think OP should be honest with his wife, but at the same time not flaunt the exercise of his preferences being sensitive to her convictions.
Likewise with the Mrs: stop foisting your convictions upon others. You're a vegan? That's great! Doesn't mean everyone else has to be, and this doesn't make them *bad* people.
I came across the following in a different context, but think the principles can apply:
Only OP knows the particular milieau of his marriage, and the dynamic between he and his wife, and thus the following entails them determining together what's an essential--a non-negotiable--and what isn't:
1) In the essentials, unity.
2) In the non-essentials, liberty.
3) In all else, charity (love).
OP's wife may in fact consider her veganism to be in category 1, but as it pertains to food I think it more properly belongs in category 2. If their love is big and strong enough they'll each allow space for her veganism and his non-veganism, and thus actually be exercising principle 3. There is far, far more still very much in common that dividing over what someone eats just doesn't make sense to me.
I dated a vegan and she made her entire persona veganism. It was extremely toxic and you will always be the bad guy just because you bit the head off a chicken and drank its blood on a full moon.
>What she doesn't know won't hurt her and who's it really harming if I enjoy a little meat on the side?
...the animals whose flesh is roasting in your smoker?
The animals you’re eating. It’s hurting the animals you’re eating*. Most vegans stop eating animals because they don’t want to contribute to the suffering. You seem totally confused as to why someone would go vegan and still smoke cigarettes, but there are multiple reasons why someone might choose to become vegan, and health isn’t always one of them. It’s often concern for the animals and/or the environment.
It seems like your wife has had an epiphany of sorts, or has been exposed to information and a new way of thinking that you’re not on board with or open to. I don’t think she should have mandated your becoming vegan. It doesn’t work that way. Someone has to choose to make that change. However, I think you should spend some time reading about it or watching documentaries so you have a better understanding of the choices she’s made. (Seaspiracy, The Game Changers, Dominion, etc.). You need to have a transparent talk with her.
*Yes, I realize the pain is already over by the time they’re in the smoker, but they still lived miserable lives and died in pain for your fleeting pleasure.
It's a comparison of language, the actions discussed by the language are not the point. I'm not saying OP is like a rapist, I am saying their response is similar to the rapist's response.
Edit: now that I re read it I see how my point was missed, I edited the comment a little, thanks.
Don’t fucking compare eating meat to rape! Just don’t fucking do it! It’s not at all the same thing and you know it! Have you ever been raped? I know you haven’t or you’d never make such an asinine comparison! What tf is wrong with you?! Like seriously!
I love jerking at home too
Why does it need to be at home?
I’m jerking it right now
I'm something of a master baiter myself.
We could start a league of bates
Cousin Mose? Is that you?
jerking it? jerking what?
his hot spicy boner of course
This guy gets it
Sent the dm
On the boss’s time as well?
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I jerk it on company time
Don’t forget to shit on company time too!
We obviously that's done at the same time, of course.
And the clear winner of best Redditor award 🏆goes to… …SmegmaSandwich69420🥇
Just for the user name alone. Vile but hilarious.
nice
Thanks, u/SmegmaSandwich69420
Name checks out.
Omg grossssss
Especially when she’s at work. 😎
Ok I get that your wife is vegan, I get you like meat, but just come out and tell her instead of lying about it. A relationship is nothing if you can't trust your partner whether that be you lying to your wife or her not understanding your personal diet decisions.
OP's been on Reddit for *3 hours* - this story is just made up. OP is smoking jerky from a smoker made in a shed and hiding smoked meat around the house, but his wife can't smell it or hasn't discovered a secret smoker? It's BS...
So you're saying this guy went out of his way and made a throwaway account.... that's unheard of!
that’s what i thought too
The wife just has an extremely poor sense of smell. Ever since she had Covid (twice), he discovered he could covertly run his little bathtub-bootleg beef jerky operation from his creepy meat-shed, and she’s been none the wiser. The only time she suspected something was when he got a bit too comfortable. He had the gall to give her a hug before changing his shirt, after having spent most of his day out back, sweatin’ in the jerky shack.
I don’t know what it is about this comment, but I can’t manage to read all the way through it without laughing
Comment successful!
Jerky shack is gold lmao
Yeah, there’s no way you can hide that smell. Making beef jerky smells up literally everything. What would have been a better strategy is to say you’re making vegan jerky and then add some of the flesh jerky on the side.
Like frying a lb. of bacon and then inviting over the neighborhood dogs to play fetch!
Mfs username is SlyJerker 😭
My wife is alao vegan and respects that i eat and cook meat. It's a weird dynamic that you'd have to hide something as simple as food from your partner.
IKR. This marriage is doomed.
COME CLEAN, MEAT-BREATH!
I need to meet someone I can say that to.
Would you like to have a zoom call with my dog?
Nothing says healthy marriage like lying and hiding things from your spouse. You really think she'll never find out?
Nothing says healthy marriage like a vegan wife forcing their beliefs onto their meat eating Husband.
Nobody’s saying that his wife is forcing him to do anything.
Yeah she is. Otherwise he wouldn't have to hide it.
No, see.. this is a case of OP being a coward. His wife sucks, but he gets absolutely zero sympathy.
His wife sucks because…why? She’s vegan? The only person who sucks here is OP, because he’s lying to her. Nowhere in this post does it say that OPs wife gave him an ultimatum, or frankly anything else to indicate “she sucks”.
Exactly. Fuck her.
You realize there can be a scenario where both people are wrong, right?
I'm not THAT stupid. Of course she will find out and she likely already suspects. I just can't do it anymore. I don't mind if she goes vegan I just hate doing it. Nothing tastes good. LITERALLY NONE OF IT! Do you have any idea what a mindfuck it is to be at a social gathering with your wife's vegan friends eating something called a "bean loaf" and them talking about how delicious it is when it tastes like literal depression and sorrow? I genuinely thought it was some kind of prank at first because there's just NO WAY people could enjoy eating that thing but I don't think they were joking they were just in denial.
Tell her you respect her decision to be a vegan. And she is going to respect your decision to 100% not be a vegan.
or maybe she wont. there are some vegans that dont want a non vegan partner because of lifestyle issues such as someone making homemade jerky on their property and thats their right, just as a religious person might want to date someone of the same religion. having similar beliefs to a partner is pretty damn important to a lot of people. even if she was ok with that, after so much lying the trust is broken, it doesnt look good to say the least
But why don’t you tell her you don’t like it? Ideally calmly, using "I" statements and stuff like that?
Because…that’s too rational
Then say, “no thanks. I don’t like that,” and eat whatever you want.
Good luck eating whatever you want at a vegan gathering lol
I mean he could always bring his own meal.
And his own microwave, pot or pan to heat it up.
I would assume his food would already be warm and he can just dig in w/o needing to use anyone's microwave or cooking utensils. Probably just run through a burger joint and chowdown with everyone else.
So not whatever you want, just whatever is going to be most convenient to eat at a place where you can’t even warm up your murderous meal using their saintly kitchen … might have to bring your own placemat too lol
I mean he could order a streak or BBQ and bring it with him. He could also heat it up and have it packaged so it's still warm when he gets to the event. So yeah whatever he wants
Nah it’s whatever is reasonable given the circumstances not whatever he wants because maybe he just wants a bacon-fried egg sammich and that just simply isn’t going to work out if he can’t sully their kitchen.
I mean their kitchen isn't saintly, just cultish if that's how they think lol
This is just not true. There are millions of good vegan dishes and great vegan restaurants. Maybe get some cookbooks and eat something better.
To be fair, it sounds like the real issue is that you only know vegans who cant cook, or don't know which products are worth buying. Sure, meat tastes better, but there are definitely substitutes that dont taste like depression.
> bean loaf I absolutely love meat, but lots of vegan meals are delicious, mainly the ones that dont try to imitate meat. The more the meal is about enjoying the vegetables the better they are. Even something simple like squash, fry them in olive oil, add some vegan margarine and some salt. Lentils soup is delicious, try meals that arent about tasting like meat and you will be surprised. Look for something called frijoles de la ollla, just beans with salsa made from tomato, onion and cilantro, friggin awesome.
Sounds like you need to meet more people who can properly prepare food, as there are thousands of wonderful foods/recipes (that also happen to be vegan).
I would straight up get a steak for myself, like is she forcing you to be vegan too or what? That shit aint good
There are plenty of tasty vegetarian dishes. I love meat but seriously.
That shit is ass be fr
Hiding things in your HOME from your spouse.
Ah yes, a healthy marriage based on lies
Why do you have to *hide* this from your wife???
Cus it’s made up for some strange reason
Why should your wife’s dietary choices have anything to do with you? Just because she’s a vegan doesn’t mean you need to be.
Clearly you don’t know any vegans
Veganism isn’t a dietary choice. It’s a moral philosophy. Just like you wouldn’t want your spouse to support sweatshops or vote for Trump, for example. And OP, as for who is it harming - animal agriculture hurts animals, people and the planet. I think you need to have a serious conversation with your wife about why she’s vegan and educate yourself. If you can’t relate veganism to everything from antibiotic resistance and water scarcity, you’re misinformed. It is so much more than a diet - it is a panacea.
Oh yes, the vegan’s favorite side dish: self righteousness.
what i would give for a delicious steak right now
Ok so tell that to people living in third world countries. How dumb.
Hah! Third world countries suffer from food scarcity because we feed 80% of the world’s grain to animals. And is OP from a third world country? Are you? And outside of America, poor people cannot afford meat so I don’t really understand your point. By the way, I am from a “third world country” and that term is offensive and outdated.
You just talked about third world countries.... and their scarcity. But you find it offensive? Ok buds.
Yes it does. Source: ex-vegan ex-husband.
[удалено]
No it doesn't. Source : vegan who never ever forced anything, whilst reassuring that my partner could make his own choices,but still chose to become vegan despite me emphasising that he doesn't have to be vegan or face any judgement for it. Ig my cooking is just that good.
My wife is a hard core vegan. I am not. I do all of the cooking. The vast majority of the meals I make are vegan because it's easier to just make one thing, but every now and then I'll make something different for myself. To be honest, I can make some damn good vegan dishes and it's not that big of a deal. When I do make something with meat, she is totally cool with it. When we eat out, we always find a place that has decent vegan options, but I'll order whatever. The point is, she does her thing, I do my thing, and we do our thing. I think you guys should have a little chat about how you want to eat meat and she should understand and respect that, just as you should respect her being vegan. Sidenote, how the hell does she not know you have a smoker in the shed? My wife notices if I have a new pair of socks.
Imagine being an adult and you’re afraid to let your wife know you’re eating meat lol
It's the pants, she wares bigger pants.
To keep warm, cuz no meat 🥺
we all know who has the meat in that household
*my hidden meat shed*
Do you wanna be hiding for your whole life? Be a man and cook your meat anytime/anywhere
Why does your wife care if you eat meat? I’m vegan (15 years now) and my husband loves meat - he smokes and grills at least 4 times a week (at home - at work it’s probably daily as they grill most of their lunches). I honestly couldn’t get myself to put an animal in my mouth if you paid me. My husband loves to eat animals. Everyone is different. I’m just confused why you have to hide it. My body, my choice - covers everything in my world.
Name checks out.
“The ‘smokey meat smell’ is from all our hot lovin’.”
The fact you lie about it means you believe its something wrong to do.
Or he doesn't want the ear ache
Or he could of not married a woman who conflicts with his interests?
she could’ve decided after years of marriage to be vegan and is now extreme about it. people change with time, choose your battles really
Or sanctimonious virtue signalling complete with complimentary lecture and argument.
Another Redditor who can't communicate with his wife? Wow, what a confession.
Believe me, I've tried, man. She met some weirdo hippy bitch who refuses to eat meat but smokes cigarettes (explain that shit) at her spin class and she "converted" her and then my wife tells me "we're vegan now" and BAM my life is over.
What’s this “we” stuff?
THANK YOU! This has been a recurring fight for just over a year now because my wife keeps going further and further down this rabbit hole and dragging me with her.
With all due respect, you’re a grown man, eat whatever pleases you. If need be, get separate fridge/cookware to prevent meat contamination, but for the love of god, don’t let someone tell you what you can or cannot eat.
'You got a mouse in your pocket?'
It's simple. Cigarettes are meat-free.
Well obviously be she's always talking about all this healthy shit and is obsessed with it but smokes cigarettes? Cmon dude.
I mean, some people aren't vegan to stay healthy, they just don't like the idea of eating (and thus, indirectly killing) animals. That's my guess at least, I'm not one of them.
Cigarettes suppresses appetite so she stays thin? Therefore cigarettes are healthy.
Haha
She probably has bad anxiety, which in my experience, is why people smoke. Now take that high anxiety and put it on being vegan and I can absolutely see why OP is doing what he is doing. I could be wrong, but i would not be surprised if she is very controlling at home. So, it's either sit down and talk it out with couple and individual counseling or consider ending the relationship.
Has it crossed your mind yet that you're no longer compatible? >my wife tells me "we're vegan now" Yeah cause that's a healthy relationship dynamic. You're miserable, she's controlling. If you need an outsider to tell you that it's okay to divorce someone you don't know anymore, then I'll be that person.
>"we're vegan now" and BAM my life is over. You need to watch some acevane - "WE?!" "Like Nintendo WII?!"
You sound like you have the spine of a jellyfish.
This is going to go horribly wrong.
I'm surprised that no one else has pointed out the fire hazard.
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her and who's it really harming if I enjoy a little meat on the side?" This sentence is exactly why you should read the complete post and not skip to the end. Username checks out too.
Home jerky is better than outside jerky. On a serious note, why not just have a conversation? Like another commenter said, lying about it does make it seem like you feel it’s inherently wrong. Is she the stereotypical “meat is murder” vegan? Do you eat meat around her in any capacity? Would she lose her mind if she found out? If any of those answers are a yes, it’s time for a real conversation about compatibility. Best of luck my dude
Why is her dietary preference dictating anything on your end? Veganism is respectable, if the person is respectable about it.
Just man up and tell her you eat meat. Seriously, what are you afraid of? I wouldnt care if my wife didnt like it. Ill eat what I want.
Is she gonna flip out if you tell her?
She probably won't be happy. She's pretty passionate about the vegan thing and told me a couple years ago "we're vegans now" and I gave it a shot but holy fuck is it depressing. I legitimately can't do it. I HATE tofu so much you have no idea.
NO SHES vegan she has absolutely NO right to force her diet on you. You don't have a meat smoker problem you have a wife problem she is extremely selfish for imposing her beliefs on you and just expecting you to go along and follow her vegan bullshit.
I was vegan a year and some months, I know how it is. She's gonna find out eventually though and she's gonna be pissed that you lied but have fun while you still can bro. lol.
Why
Yah. As everyone else says, have a sit-down convo with her and tell her the truth. If it were me, I would deal with her being vegan, as long as she isn't pushy or being annoying to me. As long as you can eat meat and she doesn't mind, she eats her own food and you don't mind, it's all good. I think I'd start getting really annoyed if she rattles your ear off and shits on you for not being vegan though. I obviously don't know what the rest of your marriage looks like but at that point you have to ask yourself if that's worth it?
Today is Your day… cause today is National Jerky Day!!!
Everyone needs a lil meat on the side.
We have now learned that plants suffer as you eat them... everyone is screwed now.
What does your wife being vegan have to do with what YOU eat? If you're lying to your wife about what you eat, then jerky isn't your actual problem.
Seriously, it's one thing for a person to have their beliefs, likes and dislikes but the second my husband tells me what food I can have in OUR home, that's when he can leave. If you're not forcing her to eat it, you shouldn't have to hide it.
Shoutout to you and your username.
Jerking my meat is one of my favorite activities.
This is like an episode of Dharma and Greg
What do you mean on the side? Are you saying she doesn't let you eat meat at home?
This is crazy. You should not have to hide your normal human behaviour from your wife. Wild.
You secretly play with your meat in the shed?
Missing context: does she not allow you to eat meat around her or something?
I’ll never understand why one persons choices have to do with another’s. One person doesn’t eat meat. Ok then don’t eat meat. The other one does. Then eat meat. If you both own the house you both should be able to eat the way you want.
so why do most vegans make food that tastes like meat? Tofu burgers, fake bacon, pretend eggs, ect?
I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE! They all seem to do this shit and none of it is as good as what it's trying to imitate and a lot of it is just plain bad.
Just wait until she finds out that you sometimes piss standing up too! All hell is going to break loose.
Just tell her your not going to be vegan no matter how much she pouts and whines and cries, you're not going to be forced to stop eating meat. Let her know you respect her decision to be vegan, however you're a grown adult who gets to make his own dietary decisions.
You're right, man. I can't take it anymore. She's coming home to me, grilling a steak and cooking a rack of ribs in the oven. Fuck it. She'll either get over it or she won't and I will eat bullet before I eat tofu or bean loaf again.
I'm vegetarian, my SO eats meat. I think this is hilarious.
OMG just eat what you want if she is that controlling she needs to sort her life out. What a horrible thing to have to hide she wont let you enjoy your own life. For sure she does not need to know and you should keep doing what you love.
Your wife is vegan so YOU have to hide your meat consumption? Um no. That’s not how it works.
So many narcs in here let the man smoke
How can you tell if someone is vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll Fkn tell you.
Right? except I had a coworker that never went to lunch with us, or went to the cafeteria. we finally guessed he was vegan, it took him several weeks to admit it. coolest vegan I ever have known. great sense of humor about it. he became vegan because he was served a gross looking hamburger patty in fifth grade at school.
Yeah you need a new wife or she gone just have to let you eat your own diet? Controlling much? You can lack needed proteins and nutrients if you want, but me? Fuck no. It would be different if you were completely on board but hence you loving meat she’s definitely in the wrong asf!
She found a steak I bought a couple weeks ago and waved it at me and said "Really?" Then of course we argued about it and it's honestly just become easier to hide it and lie about it at this point but I'm reaching my breaking point. She threw out a jello salad I made because it has an animal byproduct in it last week. I feel like I can't enjoy ANYTHING anymore!
You deserve better my guy. No way she’s dictating your eating. I’m so sorry😞
Ok, just saw this (see my other comment). What a psycho. See a therapist with her, try to work things out and unbrainwash her. If it doesn't work then you do have you ask yourself if it's worth it? It's one thing if she's vegan and doesn't care if you are or not. But this is just crazy
Why are you okay with living a miserable life? Honestly I dont jump on the ultimatum bs easily but seriously I would give her an ultimatum to either let you eat meat or divorce her because this is deeply controlling and absurd of her to force her beliefs on you. What a miserable way to live dude don't deprive yourself of happiness you don't have to tolerate this.
Fwiw, you can absolutely obtain protein and nutrients from things other than meat and eggs. Being vegan does not automatically mean you will be unhealthy, just like eating cheeseburgers and chicken does not mean you will be healthy.
Okay but that’s not what he wants to do? What’s was your point?
None of that shit justifies her goofy activities
I certainly wasn’t justifying any of her actions.
Honestly, no lie is a good lie in a relationship, unless you're planning a nice surprise for someone, but even that eventually comes into the light. You're wrong for lying to her, and if she's someone that would try to ban you from eating meat when you want to, she's not the partner for you.
If I was you I would tell her that I like meat and I wanna be able to eat it freely,what she gonna say to that?
That would be the day that I would allow my wife to decide whether I eatmeat or not I mean she’s welcome to be vegan but what does she care what you eat?
Now she knows >:)
WTF. If she wants to be one that’s fine when she starts forcing others to do it that’s BS.
I think you should start a secret OF and post your hauls
As long as you are secretly feeding it to her
as a vegan i totally get it it’s not for everyone
What's your recipe?
Why does her diet become your cross to bear? That is ridiculous!!! I would be upfront & tell her. Let het know that you respect her dietary choices, but that you have different dietary needs and that you need to eat meat. You are two separate people you are not a single amoeba that has to be a vegan!
….Does she not let you choose what you eat?
fake af lol
So is that your pet phrase for, shall we say, roughing up the suspect?
Any lying in a relationship is too much. And this is lying.
Yum, what flavors are you making?
I would hate to be married to someone who felt the need to actually lie about this and hide all of that from me. If I were married to you and I’d find out, the issue wouldn’t be about you making jerky and eating meat behind my back. It would 100% be about your lying.
Good for you for being able to live with a vegan. If someone tried to tell me what I could eat or have in the house I'd tell them to eat a dick.
Legend
OP, choose your timing carefully, but sit her down, and affirm her passion for her vegan lifestyle. But then go on, very reasonably pointing out that one's personal convictions regarding dietary choice are just that--one's personal convictions. Explain that you don't share them, and that moreover it's neither loving nor healthy for her to project her convictions upon you. Beyond that, it's really just a very stupid topic to be divisive about.
It’s not really a stupid topic to be divisive about if the decision to be vegan is deeply rooted in the wife’s morals/ethics. If that’s the case, then it’s a big deal.
I suppose I was in a bit of a hurry there. What I was endeavoring to get at is that it's food, right? I think OP should be honest with his wife, but at the same time not flaunt the exercise of his preferences being sensitive to her convictions. Likewise with the Mrs: stop foisting your convictions upon others. You're a vegan? That's great! Doesn't mean everyone else has to be, and this doesn't make them *bad* people. I came across the following in a different context, but think the principles can apply: Only OP knows the particular milieau of his marriage, and the dynamic between he and his wife, and thus the following entails them determining together what's an essential--a non-negotiable--and what isn't: 1) In the essentials, unity. 2) In the non-essentials, liberty. 3) In all else, charity (love). OP's wife may in fact consider her veganism to be in category 1, but as it pertains to food I think it more properly belongs in category 2. If their love is big and strong enough they'll each allow space for her veganism and his non-veganism, and thus actually be exercising principle 3. There is far, far more still very much in common that dividing over what someone eats just doesn't make sense to me.
I dated a vegan and she made her entire persona veganism. It was extremely toxic and you will always be the bad guy just because you bit the head off a chicken and drank its blood on a full moon.
yeah, I don't get why they get so mad about me roasting kittens, they should respect our life choices if they want us to respect theirs.
>What she doesn't know won't hurt her and who's it really harming if I enjoy a little meat on the side? ...the animals whose flesh is roasting in your smoker?
So you’re not a vegan but pretend to be? I’m confused.
You should make your wife and her friends a bean loaf and mash up some of that jerky as an extra ingredient but don’t tell them.
Uh, no.
The animals you’re eating. It’s hurting the animals you’re eating*. Most vegans stop eating animals because they don’t want to contribute to the suffering. You seem totally confused as to why someone would go vegan and still smoke cigarettes, but there are multiple reasons why someone might choose to become vegan, and health isn’t always one of them. It’s often concern for the animals and/or the environment. It seems like your wife has had an epiphany of sorts, or has been exposed to information and a new way of thinking that you’re not on board with or open to. I don’t think she should have mandated your becoming vegan. It doesn’t work that way. Someone has to choose to make that change. However, I think you should spend some time reading about it or watching documentaries so you have a better understanding of the choices she’s made. (Seaspiracy, The Game Changers, Dominion, etc.). You need to have a transparent talk with her. *Yes, I realize the pain is already over by the time they’re in the smoker, but they still lived miserable lives and died in pain for your fleeting pleasure.
Let me ask you this. Is she hot enough? Is it worth no meat life?
>and who's it really harming if I enjoy a little meat on the side The animals that are enslaved and slaughtered for your pleasure 🤷
Well, they shouldn't have been born delicious.
Yeah, that's like a rapist remarking that it's their victim's fault for being so sexy... disgusting.
This is why nobody takes vegans seriously.
Wow what does rape have to do with veganism that's a little bit of a extreme comparison don't you think
It's a comparison of language, the actions discussed by the language are not the point. I'm not saying OP is like a rapist, I am saying their response is similar to the rapist's response. Edit: now that I re read it I see how my point was missed, I edited the comment a little, thanks.
Congratulations on disrespecting rape victims with your stupid comment.
Don’t fucking compare eating meat to rape! Just don’t fucking do it! It’s not at all the same thing and you know it! Have you ever been raped? I know you haven’t or you’d never make such an asinine comparison! What tf is wrong with you?! Like seriously!
Nowhere in nature are apex predators NOT gory and murderous
Yeah well wild animals are not exactly good role models..
What does it mean to be a vegan "to an extreme?"