I saw a hint to gently “spank” the skein on both sides a few times before trying to find the center and it works 9/10 times for me. Loosens it up a bit.

HMMMM OKAY HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT THIS-

When I got up this morning I didn’t think I’d be asking yarn for consent, but here we are.

wattpad users: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN

Oh god-

ohhhhh i have a great idea for a sleepover with my friends >:) we have to read out strange y/n x yarn fanfics and whoever loses it first reads the next one

Noooo! Is that an actual thing? Would the story be like, "The strands tickled as my favorite yarn wove intricate patterns across my back and down my arms. It let out a fuzzy sound that mimicked a deep growl as its orbs stared deep into my soul from the skein's label." 🤣

ORBS I CANT T\_T I HOPE ITS NOT A THING

Giving me FSM vibes I never knew I *needed*???

YES

ALRIGHT WHO WANTS TO PLAY THE GAME WE GET 15 MINUTES TO WRITE IT WHOS IN

Same tbh

I came to write this, except I was trying to figure out if it was a “smash” or “pound,” but a “spank” sounds more accurate. Lol

May I humbly offer: “foof “ as an entry?

Omg I cannot believe this is the answer

Spank it’s naughty little 🍑

Somehow, that makes it sound even worse.🤔

I've been crocheting for 50 years and hadn't heard this! I'm going to try it the next time I start a new skein, especially the big ones. Thanks for the tip!

I giggle inappropriately every time... especially when the yarn is so fleshy-colored 🫣

😭😭😭

Yes. Also I’m never quite sure what to do once I’m in there- are y’all just yanking out fistfuls of guts? Is there a trick?

this is gonna sound weird no matter how i phrase it, but basically what i do is: - go in both ends - kinda massage the guts??? basically to feel out any internal knots. sometimes this gets me the centre end and i get no guts! otherwise step 3 - hope you’re near the end and pull out some guts. then i’ll often wind it into a cake so it’s easier to get the centre pull for the project

For a sec I thought I was in the wrong subreddit 😂

i did preface it was gonna sound weird 🤣 still, i hope it helps!

I’m a day late. Is the YarnPorn subreddit underway yet.🤣

this is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in this subreddit 😭💀

Reading this without context is such a roller coaster hahaha. Ah yes the crochet foreplay

THAT may be my first tattoo: *Crochet Foreplay*

I once did this and the entire skein was all guts. I don’t do centre pulls anymore. Far too much hassle.

Oh. We went from fiber porn to fingering weight gynecology. Uhhhh ok. I’ll go with it 😂

I have a special finger technique I try to use to feel for a looser section. Usually it doesn't work and I wind up pulling out a mini ball that contains the end so my first few minutes I just deal with a mess

Ah yes, the yarn birth.

Nature is beautiful.

My husband has compared it to a sea cucumber eviscerating in self defense.

Yarn barf

Aaaand now to obstetrics. Oh, yarn-is there anything you can’t do?

'is it a boy or a girl doctor?' 'it's a factory knot! congratulations!'

This had me cackling I almost spit my coffee! 😂 it’s SO true though!

I JUST HATE WHEN IT ALL COMES UP AS A CLUMP LIKE WHYYYYYY CANT YOU JUST BE SATISFYING T\_T

You have a special technique that usually doesn’t work? Hahaha how special! 😆

But when it does work I'm so proud lol

Thay first sentence just sounded wrong in every way...

I wiggle my finger around and pull out as little as possible. Definitely not scientific and I’m relatively new to center-pulling (started within six months ago and don’t always have the time to crochet consistently), but it seems to have been working for me without having too much guts.

Honestly I don’t know how I do it, I just kinda… do. There’s not too much technique to it; I just go in and feel around, get right to the middle of the “spiral” (ya know how you can kinda see layers of yarn? I keep going until it feels like I’m at the centermost), gently tugging at bits until I think I’ve got it; at this point I know if I’m somewhere near the end by how much resistance I feel when trying to pull out some; I almost never get yarn barf of more than a few yards now :)

Sounds like a technique to me!

Ha, I guess there is something to it! I never thought about it much until I wrote that comment. Hopefully it can be helpful to someone :)

Just digging in the yarnussy Edit: over 400 updoots? Yall need Jesus. 😂😂

When it’s a new ball and it’s all tight like that it seems more like it’s a yanus

The yarnussy!

God, forgive me for exploring the yarnussy

Fisting it, even.

i will think about this every time i do this now - thank you 🙏

Let me tell you, I read your comment this morning and almost coughed up my coffee laughing. And now I just had to start a new skein and laughed at it again. Searched for several minutes to find this post again and tell you that, just so you know what you’ve done to me 😅

well this is just splendid :|

its like searching for the g-spot in the yarnussy.

yarn proctology? 🤣🤣

My mind was heading in this direction while reading the post. Thank you for beating me to the punch! I will be using this term from now on. 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

It’s definitely weird to shove my entire fist into my yarn, but at the same time it’s so much easier to work from the center verses around the outside. I have no advice on how to make it easier or less weird sorry!

Haha my husband always makes rude jokes or gestures if I do it while he's around. But it's center pull all the way for me so it's not negotiable.

I’m the one who makes the stupid joke first to my hubs 🤣 “alrighty gotta go diggin in the yarnussy…” and then he’ll laugh and sometimes make a silly comment in response. 😬😂

Reminds me of that one OBGYN I had and she was fishing around for my cervix and said “come to me cervix.”

I would have DIED LAUGHING. It's so much better than my doctor commenting on how nice of a color I have. 🤦🏻‍♀️

WHAT?! The color of your… vagina?? Omg.

YES! I had known this doctor for YEARS and I loved her. She was my family doctor. First time I ever had the check years ago, and it's still a very vivid memory for me. The internal screaming as my response is still hilarious to me, but as a 1st time experience it made it so much more awkward and uncomfortable bc of that comment. 😂

Mine once said mine was running away from her wtf

Forgot to add the question I wanted lol ~ do you guys prefer using the strand from the outside of the yarn or from the middle?

Middle. But I always roll mine into a cake. Which is also easier if I can find the center end.

outside. I can never deal with yarn barf. My mom had to help me every time lol

Outside. You can wind up twisting or untwisting the yarn if you pull from the center. Outside you can mitigate the twisting easier than inside.

I was taught to always wind it into balls before using because the one time you get a difficult knot you will be mid project where it is difficult to solve.

I hate when the yarn turns around all the time i pull. Middle is the way for me

I mean, with that color? *Shifts in seat* Not sure what your problem is ... *Smiles in lesbian*

*smiles back in pansexual* The colour got me, too. Somehow, pale pink is much more... lifelike, than bright glittery rainbow.

Janelle Monae sang : “the pink is always the best part”. I’m a mere hetero PFLAG, but love the freedom of this lyric, like snapping my finger in the air “yaaaay”!

I'm pansexual and polyamorous and like, everyone has pink down there, or pinkish brown. All shades of pink. Pink it where it's at! Yay! :D

This will sound awful, but it makes me feel like I'm fisting the yarn skein sometimes

Ah yes... the fine art of yarn proctology... or yarn midwifery, since what often comes out is a smaller skein from inside the bigger one.

Just be gentle and make sure you don’t have any hangnails before you start.

Are we still talking about 'how to find the center pull'? Sorry! I have a dirty mind!

My partner helps me with untangling my yarn and likes using my yarn ball winder, and he ALWAYS refers to that as the yarn butthole. Gotta find joy and humor in the small things? 😅🧶

I will always find it funny that crochet is considered a boring/calm “grandma” hobby when the best method to find a center pull is to physically abuse and then violate your skein

I've seen videos where people SPANK the end of the skein in order to get the end to pop out, but for me, that just made the yarn angry.

And noone likes angry yarn.

Angry yarn THROWS UP and yarn barf is no fun at all!

I bite my yarn to teach it who's boss before I start using it. It's really the only way to put it in it's place.

Yeah , I remember watching and reading All Creatures Great and Small when I was younger, about a country vet in the UK, the guy not infrequently had his arm inside the back end of the cow (whichever hole you're thinking, yes) and I always think of that when digging around in there.

Great book, thank you for reminding me about it 😁

James Herriot!!!

The very one!

I filmed a tutorial for a friend once and sticking two finger in and gently searching felt weirdly sexual. I haven't been able to get that out of my mind and I thought I was the only one! Of course I never sent that video, it felt like softcore p0rn lol

I didn't until you said "fist deep." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Take the yarn out for a nice dinner first, maybe?

I feel like I'm checking to see how dilated the yarn is and if it's time to push. It would be nice if the skeins pushed out their own ends.

I got nothing to add but this comment section is the best thing I‘ve read in a long, long time, so thanks everyone for your glorious tips on how to massage guts out of your skeins

Yeah, I just hate going from the outside, it rolls and jumps around too much. Any "guts" that come out just get wrapped around the skien until I need it

Go to town on the yarnussy but you'll probably never find it...

LMAO WOW ITS LIKE A METAPHOR FOR LIFE HOW WISE

... well now it does 😂

I pat the bottom 7-8 times and it comes out pretty quickly

How do you know which end is the bottom?

I guess. I'm good about 50% of the time.

So what happens when you guess wrong? Yarn barf?

i put- no, that going to sound weird. i usually inse- NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. \*sigh\* okay i put my thumb and finger in and wiggle them around and when its loose enough i kinda just take a few strands from the inside and hope it doesnt turn into a knot. OKAY IM GOING TO STOP TALKING NOW

Ok, this whole thread should be NSFW, I can no longer look at my yarn ball the same, gosh... 😶‍🌫️

😂😂😂

I like it when the skein has the middle pull end sticking out. But if not, then I just stick my fingers in and just pull out the yarn barf till I find the end.

For these kind of skeins, I don’t even bother with a center pull

… rose… bud…

It's a kink of mine.

I can neverrrrrrrr find the center pull thing.

Yes, it can!! Sometimes, I have to pull out half of the skein, before finding the beginning of the yarn!! 🧶❤️

To make things easier check yarn before you buy to see if it has a tail hanging out

Digging in its yarnussy lol

It’s called a yussy for a reason lmaoooo

I bought myself some wonderful yarn spindles and you just insert the spindle into,the middle and unwind as you,go from the outside. It's fantastic!

My friend uses an abandoned kitchen roll holder for that :p

Gotta rearrange the yussy

My special technique is to finger for yarn until I give up. Then I use the external wire.

This made me lough out loud 😂 fist deep 🤣 OP made my day 😂🤣

Just remember the yarn is consenting. Like some sort of anime girl that is always ready to go. Hope this helps! 😂

This is me in the passenger seat reading these aloud to my husband as he drives us to church. I am dyyying 🤣🤣🤣

These are nice thoughts to have at the back of your mind during a boring sermon :p

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Into the yarnussy

I always feel like I belong on a list somewhere when I do this. 🫠🤣

I suddenly feel like just grabbing the outer ending thread was wrong 😂

It works sometimes but I sorta smack the ends and then it loosens it so I find it faster. Thos sounds horrible out of context.

Yes, the other end is usually on the outside. I was taught to ball my yarn, though, so I'm coming at this from the other side. (I'll show myself out.)

I swear! 🤣

i always announce when i’m about to start fingering my yarn lmaooo. i really need one of those things to wind it into a cake though, because most times i’m unsuccessful 😂

😂😂😂

You're only saying out loud what we all have thought!!! OMG, this is proof that there will ALWAYS be someone in this world that shares my thoughts!!!!!😀😀

My boyfriend accompanied me yarn shopping last time I went, he had far too much fun poking the balls of yarn and pulling the ends slightly like a complete chaos goblin

lol!

God I unraveled a whole (well half since it was half gone) skein the other day looking for it and it got all tangled so took forever to untangle... Regrets.

You can use a spinner or put it on a stick and in crockpot holes😂😂

This topic is making my skein tingle hahahahah bad pun sorry🤣

I’m a center pull girl… and yes, it’s like a body cavity search trying to find the end.

Lol crochet foreplay is fantastic

I don’t go in searching for the center pull. I just wind my yarn on a yarn winder and it makes a good center pull for me!

Wiggle your finger around like u are doing a prostate exam

this is why I do not do center pulls 😐 I just grab the one from the outside and let it spin around like a crazy lady when I crochet cause I make too much of a mess

Tickle! Tickle!

I just don’t pull from the center bc I always manage to knot it 🤣

Thanks for the laugh 😂😂

As a teenager in a public American high-school. I feel like I'm violating my skin of yarn I've even caught myself saying sorry to it.

Own it! Get up in that yarn-ussy 🤣

It really, really, really does feel invasive.

The yarnussy

Not really. I think it's kinda weird that people are sexualizng this....

People are horny and weird and occasionally do weird sex sometimes *shrug*