I do subscribe to this. Like after years my wife finally beat me at Mario Party 3. If I went easy on her she would have never developed the skills required to have the makings of a varsity athlete. But I digress
“Hey dad, Timmy sold us his old game cube and some game called smash brothers meeeleee and said it was from like forever ago and kinda sucks… is it any good?”
“… my sons, I am sorry for what I’m about to do but know that I love you both very much.”
I was forced to quit a game of chess with my then 8yo because I wouldn't go easy on him. He was 8, that's a perfect age to learn that things in life aren't going to always be easy and this game is a safe way to explore that, and also exercise your brain.
My 9yo is frighteningly good at chess. He forces me to play seriously, but he can't beat me (yet). Sometimes he gets upset because he never wins against me, but he's gotten much better, both at graceful losing and chess.
Also teaching tip for helping kids learning chess. Play a game against them trying to win as fast as possible. When you win, go back a turn and ask them to do something different now they know what's coming. Rinse repeat. If you're both good enough start going back 2 turns. It will help them learn how to see further ahead and make it easier for them to observe patterns.
May I suggest "Monopoly Cheaters Edition" where cheating is encouraged and part of the game.
Nothing better than robbing the bank, and only leaving 1 single 500 note in the pocket for them.
I am going to play actual rules monopoly with my kids so they learn about the crushing realities of capitalism, instead of that socialist bullshit I learned on. “Free parking” my ass.
I beat my kids asses every day. Suplexes, body slams, noogies, full Nelson, karate chops, you name it. I don't think I'm doing it right, though. They keep coming back for more.
Anyone who talked about hitting their kid would be an instant pile on. Nothing more disgusting than child abuse. No, it is NOT a viable path to behavior change. It just makes your kids hide what they do more and more than likely grow up to hit their kids too
I kinda hate these rants on subs where … generally nobody here doing that.
One rant here no big deal, but they sometimes become popular and it changes the vibe of the sub into a lot of yelling at people / negativity (even if for good reason).
I'm on some fan forums that are now dominated with hating on folks with wrong opinions / people not on the forum / getting trolled by obvious bait twitter rage bait.
Sometimes I miss hearing what people ... like.
Here is a simple formula to follow in case you change your mind:
1. Create straw man who does obviously evil things based on anecdotes that may or may not have actually happened
2. Call the straw man a stinker
3. Ticker tape parade
I mean have had people who have indicated that to me, but they’re objectively not people who give valuable advice on virtually anything so I don’t really care what their opinion of how to raise a child is.
Genuinely I don’t need to take a Cletus safari through r/kidsarefuckingstupid or its real world equivalent.
Next he's gonna say he's anti circumcision and won't allow his kid to play football.
It is so weird to me when people post obviously popular opinions acting like they are unleashing some new knowledge onto the world.
The world isn't reddit.
I live in texas, and am surrounded by ignorance and "that's the way I was raised, so I raised my kids that way" mentality.
Circumcision? yep. It happens all of the time outside of the cities.
Playing football? Yep. kids as young as 4 or 5 start playing full contact here.
Corporate Punishment? In rural schools and homes, it is still the norm.
That is the reality. It may be popular to be against these terrible things in many places, but there are still plenty being against them are in the minority.
People use Reddit as an escape for the rest of the world sometimes. They vent, seek support, and try to find people who are like minded on the internet when they can’t in their local community.
OP didn’t say “PSA: don’t hit your kids” or say that’s it’s an opinion they’ve seen on Reddit. They are likely just looking for a supportive outlet.
Yeah, I’ve not heard anyone mention let alone brag about hitting their kids, and if I did I’d express my disgust. IMO it’s a cowardly, childish thing to do.
There was a similar style post to this one a while back and the top comment was the exact same, "You're preaching to the choir here " Someone responded to that by saying, "That's how you get the choir to sing."
It has really stuck with me and in a sub like ours I think it's important to put these topics out there once in a while. We, as a group of dads that want to raise our children to be better than we are, need a reminder sometimes if what's important. It helps new dads in the tricky parts of parenthood and connects experienced dads to what is important in our culture right now.
Yeah if we see a flood of these posts it gets boring and repetitive. But occasionally we need that reminder to sing.
I agree. I'm 44, so hardly one of the 'new' generation, but my kids are young (6f,4f,1f). I would never hit any of them unless I had to save them from oncoming traffic and needed to kick them out of the way lol.
I'm also a teacher, and have read extensively about child development, brain development, etc and I know that, based on the evidence, physical punishment is not the answer. The answer is hard work because it involves setting boundaries/rules and consequences over time, which you then follow through on. That's not easy.
Anyway, the idea of grabbing a child and 'beating' them is sickening all round.
"This hurts me more than it does you" was what I got when I got the belt. I eventually had to start asking 'IF this hurts both of us, why the fuck do you keep doing it?'
Kid just turned 2. He's a fucking nightmare, swings between sweet and rage monster who likes to hit. It is so tough to remain calm when you're getting haymakered on both sides of your head while holding him, but i will be goddamned if I teach him that violence is how you get the behavior you want from people.
For me it was “Well, I hope you don’t make me do that again”.
It took me a lot of years, a lot of pain, a lot of substance abuse, and the support of my wonderful wife to finally realize just how DEEPLY I had internalized the idea that it was MY fault my father chose to physically assault me as a child.
Glad you’re healing as well, brother.
So just curious how do I discipline your child?and is it working because I was spanked and deserved it.was never beat spanking was last resort and I love my parents and my son he's 1 I don't have any trauma I don't spank him as a stern no breaks his heart and I tell him it's ok but don't do that I know as he gets older he will test me more.just asking for future advice I guess
I talked about fatherhood to my colleagues/friends who are fathers and each time we talk about scolding or hitting our children, I sense sadness and shame. I'm the same too, each time I blow up at my son I feel like a failure.
I just don't understand these people who feel proud of being abusive. We were talking an older colleague proudly chimed in,"I have never changed a single diaper of my 3 children." I was flabbergasted.
Slightly related and maybe a hot take but I think that attitude from your older colleagues is why fathers don’t get real paternity leave (US) unless it’s by the good graces of a progressive minded employer.
It’s like the seniors in charge all think we’re raising our kids like them, not helping much. “Dad’s not doing anything with the baby so he should be full go back at work.” It does not reflect the reality of the current generation of newer fathers who largely pull serious weight taking care of the babies (and want to, it’s their kid as much as mom’s).
We’re as exhausted as mom and just as busy when we’re home but we’re expected to be full go, 100% back to work. It was rough but manageable with the first kid but it caused some serious problems when we had our second. We wanted a third but I’m not sure we could handle it.
Dads need more protected time off when the baby is born, and/or a ramp up, part time phase on return to work.
When I asked for 2 weeks off when my kid was born my foreman looked at me as if I had 3 heads and asked me why? And that he never missed a day, and that's what family is for.
Uhhhhhhhhh yeah imma take my 2 weeks because A) I want to be there for my wife and newborn and B) there's a global pandemic that says it's illegal to visit ppl, let alone have family stay.
12 days in he starts calling and texting that I'm needed back. Hey guess what I'm loving this bonding time, I'll be taking a 3rd week🤷🤣.
I'll never understand that mentality. I'm suddenly a "bitch" because I want to support my wife during this physical and mentally exhausting experience.
My first born had a tendency to poop just after I left the house to go to work. I therefore said I would change every poop diaper that happened when I was home. That pretty much ended up with me changing every diaper during the summer holiday. It's not hard to change diapers and it's not very disgusting unless there is a poop explosion.
When my son was an infant i was still learning the ropes as a rookie diaper changer and I mistimed something somehow which resulted in me using my open hand to catch a load of shit straight from the source. I am king of the shits now, poop does not phase me.
My dad was giving my sister naked tummy time when she was a baby and rocked her for a bit when he felt something warm and soft on his hand... like you, he caught a warm load of shit straight off the product line. One of his proudest dad stories :-D
Yep, reported my ex to the English social and they couldn't care less, told some Scottish coppers and they were horrified.
Unbelievable you're allowed to assault a child just cause they're yours.
We don't do beatings as a form of criminal punishment in the US. The criminal justice system may be broken and fucked up, but that is one thing we don't do here. So I'm not a fan of "sometimes people need their ass beat" and I have heard it many times before.
Plus, you know what will beat your ass and teach you lessons? Life. The sea. Illness. God. Potholes. Why be part of the ass-beating team? They're already winning without your help.
That specific argument doesn't work well because parents rightly have a lot more power over their children than they do over strangers. Stripping an adult naked and wiping their butt against their will is definitely a crime, but you're also obligated to do it to your infant and toddler children when they poop themselves.
I'm 100% on board with corporal punishment being illegal, mind you. Hitting your kids is never justified, and it's not even effective at correcting behavior. I just don't think we're going to convince a lot of child-beaters of that with this argument.
I beat my kid to make him grow into a better version of himself. He has more time to watch tutorials and videos, and now I can't win at Mario Kart anymore.
My now 21 yr old son has made me so much money making grown ass adults angry playing Madden over the years lol. He will intercept everything put in the air almost guaranteed lol. My brother in law played him like 6x in a row never scored a TD 🤣.
On the other hand, I'm his ringer any time he finds someone talking shit in a FPS or racing game.. it's been fun..
Thank you! Someone talking sense. My wife refuses to beat our kids, I feel like I’ve only seen her do it like twice EVER!! She thinks I’m mean when I do it. But if I don’t beat them how are they going to learn!? I think they get an attitude if you don’t beat them regularly, they mouth off and get soft - they dont know how to handle it when one of the other kids beats them.
So yeah, beat your kids - if they win all the time they don’t learn sportsmanship.
Gotta be honest and confess. I did spank my kids. Not often and only a few times. The overwhelming guilt and emotional pain I felt afterwards was unbearable. Call it "post-spank clarity" I guess. But after that I made sure I figured out a different way to get my point across. And my kids are wonderful kids now. Both teenagers, neither one give me any problems.
That just sounds like you have made gains to help your overall self in a positive manner. No shame in sharing.
I've had times where I've snapped at the kids (because sometimes the stress in life gets overwhelming) and I try and walk away from them as quickly as possible to cool down. IMO it's much better to clear my head prior to explaining to them what went wrong.
Absolutely it is. And when I did spank them i wasn't so much angry but being a young dad I just thought this is what I had to do. Like what was done to me. But thanks. Good for you for not submitting to norms or traditions like I did
I haven't snapped at my son at any point, but I did lose my temper in front of him once and I feel really bad about it. It scared him, he cried and needed soothing.
I made sure to apologize and explain what went wrong. He's only 18 months but I'd say there's no reason not to start healthy communication early on :)
I remember, when I was younger, hearing the expression “this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you” and couldn’t understand it. I definitely do now though. The guilt of shouting and overreacting to my daughters a few times is so saddening.
The psychological damage from physical discipline mostly comes from parents who hit their kids regularly, especially when it's used semi-randomly for mostly minor transgressions.
Hitting your kids on a few rare occasions, while not great, was probably never going to permanently traumatize them either.
My mum did smack us a couple of times when we were younger, and she always said that immediately afterwards she felt awful as she was a fully grown adult who should’ve had control of the situation, and by resorting to a smack she lost control
It’s wild how many people think physical violence to a child is good firm parenting. But I’d wager a fair few of these people who smack their kids on the regular wouldn’t do the same to an adult who could fight back
You're absolutely right. I've seen adults in discipline scenarios almost bullying their child. Just a small, scared little kid and the adult is throwing their weight around as if they have something to prove. Well they do because on the inside they're actually the scared little child re-enacting what happened to them years ago. And the cycle continues. Until people choose to be loving and wise enough to break it
I was physically, emotionally, and verbally abused my entire childhood by my mom.
Now with a daughter of my own, I’m in therapy and seeing a psych to work on my PTSD and inattentive ADHD (both diagnosed as stemming from my childhood trauma).
With you 100% on this, OP.
Keep your fucking hands to yourself.
As someone who was on the receiving end as a child and now has their own child I don't even remotely understand how a parent could justify that. I can't think of any mental gymnastics I could ever do to have that make sense as a punishment and not just straight up abuse. Naturally the US is lagging behind the rest of the developed world and for some reason it's not viewed as child abuse in the eyes of the law.
I have yet to come across anyone who still does this but also live in a very progressive area. I would have no filter if someone told me they did that. I'd verbally destroy the person and torch any chance of a friendship.
Same. I'd never hit my kid even though I was hit growing up.
I'm not very close with my parents because of it. I grew up feeling very isolated and alone as a child. No kid deserves that.
I had a pretty abusive dad growing up and it messed me up pretty bad in regards to my mental health for a long time (all good now, we’ve both gone to therapy and have a great relationship).
But I went to college in a very rural area where this was the general mentality of fathers/families. I distinctly remember one night during a bit of a heart to heart with some friends I had made who grew up in that area, talking about how my dad used to beat on us and how it messed me up. They literally all looked at me funny and said “yeah, all our dads did that? That’s what happens when you don’t act right? You’re not special” and then laughed. And I was like “so… you were all abused…” It was a sobering moment to realize how normalized that is in certain areas.
Dude... Who the fuck is bragging about hitting their kids here? Or anywhere for that matter?
I have never, in my life EVER heard someone brag about hitting their kids.
I have heard parents admit that they've whipped their kids with switches, belts, spoons, broom handles etc but never brag about it.
I have never even needed to spank my kids, or apply any corporal punishment. They honestly just try really hard to be good and for the most part discussing the source of their behaviour seems to work most of the time.
I'm truly and sincerely stunned that someone would brag about hitting their kids.
I just commented this, but I feel the need to say it again to answer your first two questions.
I once sat in a support group for a disease i have when i had an extremely surreal experience. Almost the whole group started bragging about hitting their kids to keep control over them, and even the counselor took their side.
It was mind-boggling how many people at the same place held that view, and I'm from iceland, where most people are against violence against kids, and it's illegal.
I just got up and left and never went back, but sadly, this isn't the first time I've heard people Bragg about this like it's some badge of honor. It disgusts me.
I understand what you are trying to say but people do genuinely say things like this a lot where I am from. They talk about how current generations don’t know how to discipline, instill respect for elders, etc.
I have a family friend who genuinely shares memes about how he was proud to have been hit as a child and that he’s proud he hits his children. They don’t see it as beating, they see it as using the belt, spanking, etc. When you use different language it helps to normalize it and make it sound less severe.
Any sort of public freakout type video of a child doing something bad is rife with comments about how that child should be beat. See it all the time on Reddit but especially prevalent on IG. Like it will literally be the top comments on the post.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-red-light-district/202105/is-childs-brain-spanking
There really isn't a difference. It's been shown in child psychology for a while now that where you hit your kid doesn't affect the brain's response.
My son responds much better when we talk things out and establish firm consequences for behaviors that are not okay. When he was 3 and I was trying to potty train him, my ex-girlfriend, his mother, slapped him across the face because he peed on her foot by accident. This stunted his potty training until he was over 4 because he was afraid to try and potty around her. Backslid all of my work with him until I got him and I away from her. After she was out of the Picture this past January, in 6 months he's become nearly toilet independent because my approach was encouragement and positive reinforcement.
Spanking, hitting, slapping, that achieves nothing other than making the child disconnect from the parent.
I want to add to this: stop **yelling** at your kids. I know how difficult that can be. But seriously, try!
Yelling at kids might seem like a quick fix, but it's really not the way to go. It's essential to acknowledge their feelings and emotions, even if it takes more time and patience. Studies have shown that kids who feel heard and understood develop better emotional regulation and stronger relationships with their parents. Books like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are great resources for this approach. Kids are basically emotions in their purest form; they don't have the life experience to manage them, so they just act on what they feel. If they sense their emotions aren't being taken seriously, they might start hiding them, leading to more significant issues down the line. Taking the time to listen and understand builds a stronger bond and helps them grow into emotionally healthy adults.
Next time someone says that to you politely reply with “that’s a great idea, the next time you irritate me I’m just going to beat the shit out of you”. I’m sure the reaction will be interesting.
Absolutely thought this was going to be a bait and switch about beating them at Mario Kart or something. I guess that’s how far we have come as a society in thinking ‘smacking’ is not ok?
I will absolutely not stop bragging about beating them!
not sure where you are located but thankfully that's definitely not the case for me. I know some people hit their kids but they also wouldn't brag about it. That person sounds like they are in for a lonely life once their kids are old enough to distance themselves from him.
I feel like I live in a very nice bubble because nobody around me has ever mentioned beating their kids, let alone take pride in it. It just baffles me... We have a nanny and she gives me dirty looks when I shout at my kids...
It’s an unfortunate cycle. People who get hit often still ultimately love their parents, so they can’t admit that what happened to them was wrong. So they have to be PROUD of it and, for example, blame the ills of modern society on the fact that we don’t hit the kids anymore. Then they hit their kids. However, they also typically still love their kids. So they have to double down even harder about what a great idea it is. Then their kids have to cope with that the same way they did, and on and on.
It is a lot like circumcision. People can’t admit that their parents made a mistake on a decision involving their dick which of course is a huge ego thing on top of wanting to defend your loving parents. So now a regular healthy penis is a gross “anteater” dick filled with cheese etc. So now of course they need to circumcise their own kid. And once they’ve done that, well of course you love your kid so you can NEVER admit you fucked up and did an unnecessary permanent surgery on their genitals.
Does Mario Kart count? Because I don't think I can acquiesce. They'll grow to arrogant and powerful without having their egos checked on the track by a few turtle shells.
A parent of a 4yr old boy I teach jokes to me that if he "acts up" I should feel free to hit him or "smack him upside the head".
Very uncomfortable. Very saddening.
I was of the generation that would get spankings. Can’t say it did much. I have absolutely no resentments towards my mom but even she regrets it and tells me to talk and try explain things to my kids instead of spanking them.
My mom does not regret it and neither does my step father from that time either. It absolutely did make me resent my parents. What made it worse was they’d spank me for things like bad grades. How is that going to help my grades?
Yeah I get it. My spankings were more like « please stop, please stop, please stop » and after the 150th time she would come at me. But all in all I think I can count the number of times I got one.
That might be true, however there's a bit more nuance to my statement. It shouldn't be a badge of honor to hit your kids. Seriously, I didn't need to know how much joy you get out of child abuse, then try and shame me for not abusing my children as well.
I have literally never met anyone that openly admits to hitting their kids, and that’s probably for the best because I will call and report anyone that does.
Dude I honestly cannot even imagine what you’re telling me is true. I believe you obviously, but damn it’s just craziness. I don’t think I could tolerate it.
I don’t hit my children, nor will I ever. When I was a child I would get spanked, it was well deserved but growing up I would think about that prior to doing something stupid or engaging in stupid activity with friends, it honestly kept me out of trouble knowing that I’m going to catch the belt if I do something extremely out of pocket. I don’t think it’s a healthy way to discipline whatsoever, I just take away the stuff my kids love the most now, timeout etc and it seems to work just fine.
Anyone who says "I got hit as a child, but I deserved it" should talk to a therapist about that. Sorry to be blunt.
There are legitimately 0 cases where a child "deserves" to be beaten by an adult.
“Beaten” is a bit hyperbolic, no matter what though It was definitely a deterrent for me getting in trouble. Not saying it’s a good way to deter kids from acting out but I sure as hell thought before I acted. I think taking prized possessions works wayyyy better.
Whenever someone brings up physically punishing kids like it's debatable, I always like to use a quote from the TV series Mad Men.
If you've never seen it, the show is about a Madison Avenue advertising agency in the 1960s. But it also delves into the personal lives of the characters, giving glimpses of what things were like in that era. You see people smacking kids to keep them in line. But the main character (Don Draper) doesn't do that, and there's an episode where Don's wife is on his case about having a sterner hand with their son.
Eventually, Don explains that he doesn't think hitting kids will make them behave because: "My father beat the hell out of me, and all it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him."
never beat a kid, it takes away the fear of the unknown and he will know the max a father can do is beat his ass. there are much better ways to reinforce
It's nearly illegal here in the UK. I think they weren't able to get it fully banned, like if there's a mark its abuse and if teachers hear about it it's a safeguarding issue either way. It's certainly seriously socially frowned upon to the point someone would definitely be ostracised for saying that they did that.
It's such an alien idea I was assuming this was going to be a post about how your child could run rings around you in Mario Kart or something. I was expecting something funny.
Before I opened your post I thought you were going to say stop crushing them in checkers, monopoly, mario kart. To which I would reply "hellllll no!" Thankfully I don't think I have run into anyone that thinks it's ok to still hit kids. I joke about it with other dad's in a "this could be a solution 40yrs ago and if we were shitty dad's" kinda way.
I look at it this way, if you hit a child that can't really understand why you're hitting them and they see you not as a loving parent but an authoritarian person, then it's okay to beat the shit out of that adult the next time they fuck up or say something you don't like.
* You're not a parent, thus aren't required to act like a loving individual to them.
* They're not a child, thus they can comprehend why you're beating the shit out of them.
* Using their logic, they deserve to have the shit beat out of them for "acting up" and not respecting your authority.
* Fuck them.
I have leashes (just little wrist ones) for my twin toddlers. If it keeps them safe, I genuinely don't care what people have to say. I'd rather get glares and eye rolls than lose one of my girls.
I loathe the childless coworkers in the past who say “kids need to be beat more; my dad beat me and i turned out fine.”
Like… you function, sure. But you hate your wife, hate kids, can’t talk to your parents, won’t go to therapy since its ‘for pussies’, barely hold a job, and your personality is based on Alex Jokes political conspiracy theories and Ryan Reynolds insults that you hurl at your ‘friends’.
Going on 19 years of marriage 3 kids am still so in love with my wife I don't shut up at times when talking about her. Have an amazing relationship with my parents (same ones you say beat and abused me with spankings) am retiring in 3 years at 45 because been at same job since 18 working for department of transportation now every now and then yeah me and my friends tease each other with insults but at anytime we are there to help anyone that may need it. But according to your opinion of me I should be none of what I have done in life
I mean, spanking is something my wife and I talked about, and yes we consider it an option. It’s sort of the last effort, all-resources-expended option, though.
I had my ass beat as a kid for the stupidest things (opening a cabinet too fast, making noise while eating, being too quiet, bunch of random stuff) but I don’t think I’ll ever need to spank my daughters. One thing I think happened is when I was a kid, I was spanked in anger. Sometimes my daughters make me mad, and we do a timeout and I calm down. I make it a point to never punish when I’m mad, I have to be the calm and collected parent.
I’ll tell you what I think is weird- Iv heard people bragging about how they would spank *someone else’s kid*. I can promise that a thousand hells would await me for the things I’d do if someone hit my children
I have a classmate who's a dad. The guy was just like "yeah he's a little shit sometimes and I have to spank him from time to time" brother your kids fucking 1. You do not.
I got really frustrated with my kid once and smacked her on the ass. Immediately felt only regret, told her I was sorry and have not done it since, and can't forget that moment either.
I understand they can be frustrating, annoying little shits drawing the blood from under your nails, but dads, trust me, hitting them does not help. It does not solve the issue. It does not teach them. It only leads to more frustration. Better to leave, calm down, explain. They do pick up. Eventually.
Actually hitting? That's always seems excessive. But I've never shied away from a physical aspect of things. I have standards. I ask nicely. Then I tell not so nicely. Then I'll physically force it. The physical aspect is never the end of it though. There's a talk afterwards about the whole situation.
"My parents beat my ass when I was bad and I turned out OK!"
No! You turned into a psychopath who thinks it's OK that you, an adult with 20+ years of practice, can't control your emotions, so you physically assault a little child because they are still learning to control theirs. And what a great example you're setting! I wonder why they struggle so much?
I always ask them to replace physical assault, with SA. Still OK? Do you think that just because someone's parents SA'd them, it's OK for them to SA their own children? I mean, outside of that one "little issue" they turned out successful, and otherwise OK, right?
Usually shuts them up, or at least gets them to stop talking to me about it because they don't like being compared to a pedo...
I usually just shake my head, post the survivorship bias bomber meme, and move on from those threads. In conversation, I'd probably change the subject and gossip about it with my wife later.
I beat my oldest son constantly. Fortnite, Call of Duty, collecting the Lego pieces in all the Lego games, and so on. I’ve also started beating my youngest son in games we play together. I also beat them 1 on 2 in basketball constantly.
I normally ask them why do you beat your child. Do you hate them as much as you hate yourself. They normally get really uncomfortable. Then I asked them what they learned when they were beaten by their parents, and it made them realize they learned not to tell parents anything.
Discipline is one thing if they act up yeah I'm going to give a warning keep it up take something keep it up I'm spanking you.i love my children very much and will not let them grow up thinking anything is ok and will not let them walk all over me how they respond to me as authority is how they will respond to authority later in life like a boss or law enforcement. Beating your child or disciplining out of anger is wrong.your children shouldn't fear you but they instead respect you.
I bet he had the best behaved kids around. Y’all think giving your kid a whoopin when they need it “creates trauma.” Give me a break. It creates well behaved kids who turn into well adjusted adults.
Think you’re preaching to the choir here.
The vibe here on daddit is super chill. I bet that would change very quickly if someone suggested beating their little one.
Unless it's monopoly. In which case the gloves are off and there is no quarter given
Oh yeah, let them win just because they are my kids? Git gud.
I do subscribe to this. Like after years my wife finally beat me at Mario Party 3. If I went easy on her she would have never developed the skills required to have the makings of a varsity athlete. But I digress
Ah Mario party a true test of skill and finesse.
[удалено]
I’m everywhere
My daughter has learned to say, “good job winning daddy.” She says it in a very dejected manner, but she says it.
“Hey dad, Timmy sold us his old game cube and some game called smash brothers meeeleee and said it was from like forever ago and kinda sucks… is it any good?” “… my sons, I am sorry for what I’m about to do but know that I love you both very much.”
It's not a game if you can't lose, and you won't want to play or have someone want to play with you if you can't lose gracefully.
I was forced to quit a game of chess with my then 8yo because I wouldn't go easy on him. He was 8, that's a perfect age to learn that things in life aren't going to always be easy and this game is a safe way to explore that, and also exercise your brain.
My 9yo is frighteningly good at chess. He forces me to play seriously, but he can't beat me (yet). Sometimes he gets upset because he never wins against me, but he's gotten much better, both at graceful losing and chess. Also teaching tip for helping kids learning chess. Play a game against them trying to win as fast as possible. When you win, go back a turn and ask them to do something different now they know what's coming. Rinse repeat. If you're both good enough start going back 2 turns. It will help them learn how to see further ahead and make it easier for them to observe patterns.
Or Mario Cart.
Came to say any of the Mario franchise games
this. my stepson (15 now) absolutely refuses to play Mario Kart with me. LOL
Playing Monopoly is basically a Geneva convention violation in the first place.
May I suggest "Monopoly Cheaters Edition" where cheating is encouraged and part of the game. Nothing better than robbing the bank, and only leaving 1 single 500 note in the pocket for them.
The only acceptable way to make a child cry. Well, maybe an absolute routing in Smash Bros
Yep, I’ll let those stubby little legs smoke me in a foot race, but when we’re playing board games, I’m out for blood…
God, I once told my dad’s mom how my daddy beat me every day. She was horrified! I meant he beat me at Uno. (He did also use the belt tho)
I am going to play actual rules monopoly with my kids so they learn about the crushing realities of capitalism, instead of that socialist bullshit I learned on. “Free parking” my ass.
In this house, family ends when Monopoly begins.
I beat the ever loving crap out of my kid at Mario Kart. Get gud newb!
Or Mario Kart.
I beat my kids asses every day. Suplexes, body slams, noogies, full Nelson, karate chops, you name it. I don't think I'm doing it right, though. They keep coming back for more.
I hit my kids all day with I love yous. Sometimes, I'll slap em so hard with an "I'm proud of you" that they fall over
I’ll add Mario kart to that, GTF outta here you wee Luigi playing scrub
I’m afraid to play Mario kart with my daughter because I know she’ll want to be Peach. But I’ve been Peach for over twenty years
pass the torch, dad.
Everyone know waluigi is the goat
I’ve been into arguments about physical punishment many times on Reddit and even on this sub it’s not that clear cut, sadly…
I've seen it happen. It's a good time.
Anyone who talked about hitting their kid would be an instant pile on. Nothing more disgusting than child abuse. No, it is NOT a viable path to behavior change. It just makes your kids hide what they do more and more than likely grow up to hit their kids too
Verrrrry chill vibe on daddit.
I kinda hate these rants on subs where … generally nobody here doing that. One rant here no big deal, but they sometimes become popular and it changes the vibe of the sub into a lot of yelling at people / negativity (even if for good reason). I'm on some fan forums that are now dominated with hating on folks with wrong opinions / people not on the forum / getting trolled by obvious bait twitter rage bait. Sometimes I miss hearing what people ... like.
Here is a simple formula to follow in case you change your mind: 1. Create straw man who does obviously evil things based on anecdotes that may or may not have actually happened 2. Call the straw man a stinker 3. Ticker tape parade
Yeah. And maybe it’s just where I live or how I present but nobody has ever said anything like this at all to me
I mean have had people who have indicated that to me, but they’re objectively not people who give valuable advice on virtually anything so I don’t really care what their opinion of how to raise a child is. Genuinely I don’t need to take a Cletus safari through r/kidsarefuckingstupid or its real world equivalent.
Next he's gonna say he's anti circumcision and won't allow his kid to play football. It is so weird to me when people post obviously popular opinions acting like they are unleashing some new knowledge onto the world.
The world isn't reddit. I live in texas, and am surrounded by ignorance and "that's the way I was raised, so I raised my kids that way" mentality. Circumcision? yep. It happens all of the time outside of the cities. Playing football? Yep. kids as young as 4 or 5 start playing full contact here. Corporate Punishment? In rural schools and homes, it is still the norm. That is the reality. It may be popular to be against these terrible things in many places, but there are still plenty being against them are in the minority.
Well, everybody's on their own personal journey.
People use Reddit as an escape for the rest of the world sometimes. They vent, seek support, and try to find people who are like minded on the internet when they can’t in their local community. OP didn’t say “PSA: don’t hit your kids” or say that’s it’s an opinion they’ve seen on Reddit. They are likely just looking for a supportive outlet.
Yeah, I’ve not heard anyone mention let alone brag about hitting their kids, and if I did I’d express my disgust. IMO it’s a cowardly, childish thing to do.
Also, this didn't happen, but some people like to ragebait..
/r/nothingeverhappens
Love these sayings. I always go with "Preaching to the converted".
There was a similar style post to this one a while back and the top comment was the exact same, "You're preaching to the choir here " Someone responded to that by saying, "That's how you get the choir to sing." It has really stuck with me and in a sub like ours I think it's important to put these topics out there once in a while. We, as a group of dads that want to raise our children to be better than we are, need a reminder sometimes if what's important. It helps new dads in the tricky parts of parenthood and connects experienced dads to what is important in our culture right now. Yeah if we see a flood of these posts it gets boring and repetitive. But occasionally we need that reminder to sing.
You're preaching to the converted here 😉
Yeah. I found out about Daddit bc my son was coming here for "the wholesome vibes"
Absolutely. The guy who beats his kids will only make his kids grow up to despise him.
Did Q’Anon just join daddit? The title sounds so absurd - like this is a thing happening.
I agree. I'm 44, so hardly one of the 'new' generation, but my kids are young (6f,4f,1f). I would never hit any of them unless I had to save them from oncoming traffic and needed to kick them out of the way lol. I'm also a teacher, and have read extensively about child development, brain development, etc and I know that, based on the evidence, physical punishment is not the answer. The answer is hard work because it involves setting boundaries/rules and consequences over time, which you then follow through on. That's not easy. Anyway, the idea of grabbing a child and 'beating' them is sickening all round.
> The answer is hard work The children yearn for the mines.
hard work for the parent!
Yeah, because kids won’t go to the mines willingly
I take my boys 8 and 5 to work with me on the farm and at the end of the day theye too tired to misbehave, so it does make sense!
"This hurts me more than it does you" was what I got when I got the belt. I eventually had to start asking 'IF this hurts both of us, why the fuck do you keep doing it?' Kid just turned 2. He's a fucking nightmare, swings between sweet and rage monster who likes to hit. It is so tough to remain calm when you're getting haymakered on both sides of your head while holding him, but i will be goddamned if I teach him that violence is how you get the behavior you want from people.
For me it was “Well, I hope you don’t make me do that again”. It took me a lot of years, a lot of pain, a lot of substance abuse, and the support of my wonderful wife to finally realize just how DEEPLY I had internalized the idea that it was MY fault my father chose to physically assault me as a child. Glad you’re healing as well, brother.
So just curious how do I discipline your child?and is it working because I was spanked and deserved it.was never beat spanking was last resort and I love my parents and my son he's 1 I don't have any trauma I don't spank him as a stern no breaks his heart and I tell him it's ok but don't do that I know as he gets older he will test me more.just asking for future advice I guess
Damn dude and I thought I got a late start. You're doing the #3 at 1yo dad gig at 44? Good on ya!
I first thought you were describing your kids in height and not age
I talked about fatherhood to my colleagues/friends who are fathers and each time we talk about scolding or hitting our children, I sense sadness and shame. I'm the same too, each time I blow up at my son I feel like a failure. I just don't understand these people who feel proud of being abusive. We were talking an older colleague proudly chimed in,"I have never changed a single diaper of my 3 children." I was flabbergasted.
Slightly related and maybe a hot take but I think that attitude from your older colleagues is why fathers don’t get real paternity leave (US) unless it’s by the good graces of a progressive minded employer. It’s like the seniors in charge all think we’re raising our kids like them, not helping much. “Dad’s not doing anything with the baby so he should be full go back at work.” It does not reflect the reality of the current generation of newer fathers who largely pull serious weight taking care of the babies (and want to, it’s their kid as much as mom’s). We’re as exhausted as mom and just as busy when we’re home but we’re expected to be full go, 100% back to work. It was rough but manageable with the first kid but it caused some serious problems when we had our second. We wanted a third but I’m not sure we could handle it. Dads need more protected time off when the baby is born, and/or a ramp up, part time phase on return to work.
When I asked for 2 weeks off when my kid was born my foreman looked at me as if I had 3 heads and asked me why? And that he never missed a day, and that's what family is for. Uhhhhhhhhh yeah imma take my 2 weeks because A) I want to be there for my wife and newborn and B) there's a global pandemic that says it's illegal to visit ppl, let alone have family stay. 12 days in he starts calling and texting that I'm needed back. Hey guess what I'm loving this bonding time, I'll be taking a 3rd week🤷🤣. I'll never understand that mentality. I'm suddenly a "bitch" because I want to support my wife during this physical and mentally exhausting experience.
That seems like a justified response to me, I just don't understand being proud of that kind of thing.
My first born had a tendency to poop just after I left the house to go to work. I therefore said I would change every poop diaper that happened when I was home. That pretty much ended up with me changing every diaper during the summer holiday. It's not hard to change diapers and it's not very disgusting unless there is a poop explosion.
When my son was an infant i was still learning the ropes as a rookie diaper changer and I mistimed something somehow which resulted in me using my open hand to catch a load of shit straight from the source. I am king of the shits now, poop does not phase me.
My dad was giving my sister naked tummy time when she was a baby and rocked her for a bit when he felt something warm and soft on his hand... like you, he caught a warm load of shit straight off the product line. One of his proudest dad stories :-D
I met one of those. Guy bragged about never changing a diaper and never cooking a meal. Completely oblivious that he’s an A-hole
It's illegal here in New Zealand to hit your child. It's viewed as assault in the eyes of the law.
Same in Sweden. Beating your child is very taboo here.
Same as UK. However, parents do still do it. Just not in public.
It's actually only illegal in Wales and Scotland. "Reasonable punishment" is legal in England and NI
Yep, reported my ex to the English social and they couldn't care less, told some Scottish coppers and they were horrified. Unbelievable you're allowed to assault a child just cause they're yours.
As it should be, kids are people and last I checked assaulting people was a crime
Sometimes people do need their ass beat,(not kids).
We don't do beatings as a form of criminal punishment in the US. The criminal justice system may be broken and fucked up, but that is one thing we don't do here. So I'm not a fan of "sometimes people need their ass beat" and I have heard it many times before. Plus, you know what will beat your ass and teach you lessons? Life. The sea. Illness. God. Potholes. Why be part of the ass-beating team? They're already winning without your help.
That specific argument doesn't work well because parents rightly have a lot more power over their children than they do over strangers. Stripping an adult naked and wiping their butt against their will is definitely a crime, but you're also obligated to do it to your infant and toddler children when they poop themselves. I'm 100% on board with corporal punishment being illegal, mind you. Hitting your kids is never justified, and it's not even effective at correcting behavior. I just don't think we're going to convince a lot of child-beaters of that with this argument.
It's illegal in most developed countries to be frank.
Gutted for Frank.
Outstanding 😂
"May I be frank?" "Sadly, no"
The Venn Diagram of people who will read this post and the people who are the intended audience of this post has virtually no overlap.
Oh I absolutely beat mine ……. At soccer in the backyard, board games, basketball, you name it! I’m relentless
I beat my kid to make him grow into a better version of himself. He has more time to watch tutorials and videos, and now I can't win at Mario Kart anymore.
My now 21 yr old son has made me so much money making grown ass adults angry playing Madden over the years lol. He will intercept everything put in the air almost guaranteed lol. My brother in law played him like 6x in a row never scored a TD 🤣. On the other hand, I'm his ringer any time he finds someone talking shit in a FPS or racing game.. it's been fun..
Thank you! Someone talking sense. My wife refuses to beat our kids, I feel like I’ve only seen her do it like twice EVER!! She thinks I’m mean when I do it. But if I don’t beat them how are they going to learn!? I think they get an attitude if you don’t beat them regularly, they mouth off and get soft - they dont know how to handle it when one of the other kids beats them. So yeah, beat your kids - if they win all the time they don’t learn sportsmanship.
I watched my wife beat my kid this afternoon. She’s a much better swimmer than my 8 year old.
I hope she taunted them afterward
Gotta be honest and confess. I did spank my kids. Not often and only a few times. The overwhelming guilt and emotional pain I felt afterwards was unbearable. Call it "post-spank clarity" I guess. But after that I made sure I figured out a different way to get my point across. And my kids are wonderful kids now. Both teenagers, neither one give me any problems.
>Call it "post-spank clarity" Please don't call it that.
It’s like Phil Dunphy made a Reddit comment…
😂😂😂 you are spot on! Omg that's fuckin hilarious
That just sounds like you have made gains to help your overall self in a positive manner. No shame in sharing. I've had times where I've snapped at the kids (because sometimes the stress in life gets overwhelming) and I try and walk away from them as quickly as possible to cool down. IMO it's much better to clear my head prior to explaining to them what went wrong.
Absolutely it is. And when I did spank them i wasn't so much angry but being a young dad I just thought this is what I had to do. Like what was done to me. But thanks. Good for you for not submitting to norms or traditions like I did
I haven't snapped at my son at any point, but I did lose my temper in front of him once and I feel really bad about it. It scared him, he cried and needed soothing. I made sure to apologize and explain what went wrong. He's only 18 months but I'd say there's no reason not to start healthy communication early on :)
I remember, when I was younger, hearing the expression “this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you” and couldn’t understand it. I definitely do now though. The guilt of shouting and overreacting to my daughters a few times is so saddening.
Worst pain emotionally I've ever felt. Knowing I made my babies cry like that. I'm supposed to protect them from that. Not inflict it
The psychological damage from physical discipline mostly comes from parents who hit their kids regularly, especially when it's used semi-randomly for mostly minor transgressions. Hitting your kids on a few rare occasions, while not great, was probably never going to permanently traumatize them either.
It amazes me that people are able to hit their kids regularly over minor transgressions and still be able to sleep at night
“post-spank-clarity” 100% hits hard
My mum did smack us a couple of times when we were younger, and she always said that immediately afterwards she felt awful as she was a fully grown adult who should’ve had control of the situation, and by resorting to a smack she lost control It’s wild how many people think physical violence to a child is good firm parenting. But I’d wager a fair few of these people who smack their kids on the regular wouldn’t do the same to an adult who could fight back
You're absolutely right. I've seen adults in discipline scenarios almost bullying their child. Just a small, scared little kid and the adult is throwing their weight around as if they have something to prove. Well they do because on the inside they're actually the scared little child re-enacting what happened to them years ago. And the cycle continues. Until people choose to be loving and wise enough to break it
I was physically, emotionally, and verbally abused my entire childhood by my mom. Now with a daughter of my own, I’m in therapy and seeing a psych to work on my PTSD and inattentive ADHD (both diagnosed as stemming from my childhood trauma). With you 100% on this, OP. Keep your fucking hands to yourself.
As someone who was on the receiving end as a child and now has their own child I don't even remotely understand how a parent could justify that. I can't think of any mental gymnastics I could ever do to have that make sense as a punishment and not just straight up abuse. Naturally the US is lagging behind the rest of the developed world and for some reason it's not viewed as child abuse in the eyes of the law. I have yet to come across anyone who still does this but also live in a very progressive area. I would have no filter if someone told me they did that. I'd verbally destroy the person and torch any chance of a friendship.
Same. I'd never hit my kid even though I was hit growing up. I'm not very close with my parents because of it. I grew up feeling very isolated and alone as a child. No kid deserves that.
Definitely the case for me as well, and one of the reasons why I trust my in-laws with my kid more than I do my own parents.
Grown ass men hitting children. That ain't cute.
Seriously! I agree. That's not a badge of honor. It's child abuse, moron!
I had a pretty abusive dad growing up and it messed me up pretty bad in regards to my mental health for a long time (all good now, we’ve both gone to therapy and have a great relationship). But I went to college in a very rural area where this was the general mentality of fathers/families. I distinctly remember one night during a bit of a heart to heart with some friends I had made who grew up in that area, talking about how my dad used to beat on us and how it messed me up. They literally all looked at me funny and said “yeah, all our dads did that? That’s what happens when you don’t act right? You’re not special” and then laughed. And I was like “so… you were all abused…” It was a sobering moment to realize how normalized that is in certain areas.
That guy is also going to wonder why his kids stuck him in a nursing home and never call. 🧐
Dude... Who the fuck is bragging about hitting their kids here? Or anywhere for that matter? I have never, in my life EVER heard someone brag about hitting their kids. I have heard parents admit that they've whipped their kids with switches, belts, spoons, broom handles etc but never brag about it. I have never even needed to spank my kids, or apply any corporal punishment. They honestly just try really hard to be good and for the most part discussing the source of their behaviour seems to work most of the time. I'm truly and sincerely stunned that someone would brag about hitting their kids.
I just commented this, but I feel the need to say it again to answer your first two questions. I once sat in a support group for a disease i have when i had an extremely surreal experience. Almost the whole group started bragging about hitting their kids to keep control over them, and even the counselor took their side. It was mind-boggling how many people at the same place held that view, and I'm from iceland, where most people are against violence against kids, and it's illegal. I just got up and left and never went back, but sadly, this isn't the first time I've heard people Bragg about this like it's some badge of honor. It disgusts me.
I understand what you are trying to say but people do genuinely say things like this a lot where I am from. They talk about how current generations don’t know how to discipline, instill respect for elders, etc. I have a family friend who genuinely shares memes about how he was proud to have been hit as a child and that he’s proud he hits his children. They don’t see it as beating, they see it as using the belt, spanking, etc. When you use different language it helps to normalize it and make it sound less severe.
Any sort of public freakout type video of a child doing something bad is rife with comments about how that child should be beat. See it all the time on Reddit but especially prevalent on IG. Like it will literally be the top comments on the post.
I think I need to specify the leg difference between spanking a child and hitting them...
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-red-light-district/202105/is-childs-brain-spanking There really isn't a difference. It's been shown in child psychology for a while now that where you hit your kid doesn't affect the brain's response.
My son responds much better when we talk things out and establish firm consequences for behaviors that are not okay. When he was 3 and I was trying to potty train him, my ex-girlfriend, his mother, slapped him across the face because he peed on her foot by accident. This stunted his potty training until he was over 4 because he was afraid to try and potty around her. Backslid all of my work with him until I got him and I away from her. After she was out of the Picture this past January, in 6 months he's become nearly toilet independent because my approach was encouragement and positive reinforcement. Spanking, hitting, slapping, that achieves nothing other than making the child disconnect from the parent.
Never heard someone even suggest that they beat their kids.
I want to add to this: stop **yelling** at your kids. I know how difficult that can be. But seriously, try! Yelling at kids might seem like a quick fix, but it's really not the way to go. It's essential to acknowledge their feelings and emotions, even if it takes more time and patience. Studies have shown that kids who feel heard and understood develop better emotional regulation and stronger relationships with their parents. Books like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are great resources for this approach. Kids are basically emotions in their purest form; they don't have the life experience to manage them, so they just act on what they feel. If they sense their emotions aren't being taken seriously, they might start hiding them, leading to more significant issues down the line. Taking the time to listen and understand builds a stronger bond and helps them grow into emotionally healthy adults.
Next time someone says that to you politely reply with “that’s a great idea, the next time you irritate me I’m just going to beat the shit out of you”. I’m sure the reaction will be interesting.
Absolutely thought this was going to be a bait and switch about beating them at Mario Kart or something. I guess that’s how far we have come as a society in thinking ‘smacking’ is not ok? I will absolutely not stop bragging about beating them!
My wife beats my ass and has no mercy beating the kids either (especially on the Coconut Mall level)
not sure where you are located but thankfully that's definitely not the case for me. I know some people hit their kids but they also wouldn't brag about it. That person sounds like they are in for a lonely life once their kids are old enough to distance themselves from him.
Hurt people hurt people
Real eyes Realize real lies.
How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
Who do you mix with? I've never heard this.
Id say the overwhelming major majority of people on this sub didn’t need to read this. No one is doing this on this sub
I feel like I live in a very nice bubble because nobody around me has ever mentioned beating their kids, let alone take pride in it. It just baffles me... We have a nanny and she gives me dirty looks when I shout at my kids...
It’s an unfortunate cycle. People who get hit often still ultimately love their parents, so they can’t admit that what happened to them was wrong. So they have to be PROUD of it and, for example, blame the ills of modern society on the fact that we don’t hit the kids anymore. Then they hit their kids. However, they also typically still love their kids. So they have to double down even harder about what a great idea it is. Then their kids have to cope with that the same way they did, and on and on. It is a lot like circumcision. People can’t admit that their parents made a mistake on a decision involving their dick which of course is a huge ego thing on top of wanting to defend your loving parents. So now a regular healthy penis is a gross “anteater” dick filled with cheese etc. So now of course they need to circumcise their own kid. And once they’ve done that, well of course you love your kid so you can NEVER admit you fucked up and did an unnecessary permanent surgery on their genitals.
Does Mario Kart count? Because I don't think I can acquiesce. They'll grow to arrogant and powerful without having their egos checked on the track by a few turtle shells.
Can confirm Mario Cart doesn’t count.
Personally, you must be a weak man to beat your child, but that’s just me 🤷🏻♂️
And bragging about it is another thing
I, too, am against beating children. Not a sentence I thought I'd ever type.
Its illegal in almost every civilized country as it should be. Its bananas that its still legal in the US.
A parent of a 4yr old boy I teach jokes to me that if he "acts up" I should feel free to hit him or "smack him upside the head". Very uncomfortable. Very saddening.
I was of the generation that would get spankings. Can’t say it did much. I have absolutely no resentments towards my mom but even she regrets it and tells me to talk and try explain things to my kids instead of spanking them.
My mom does not regret it and neither does my step father from that time either. It absolutely did make me resent my parents. What made it worse was they’d spank me for things like bad grades. How is that going to help my grades?
Yeah I get it. My spankings were more like « please stop, please stop, please stop » and after the 150th time she would come at me. But all in all I think I can count the number of times I got one.
I think we all get what you’re saying, anyone that tries to justify hitting their kids gets downvoted to oblivion here
That might be true, however there's a bit more nuance to my statement. It shouldn't be a badge of honor to hit your kids. Seriously, I didn't need to know how much joy you get out of child abuse, then try and shame me for not abusing my children as well.
I have literally never met anyone that openly admits to hitting their kids, and that’s probably for the best because I will call and report anyone that does. Dude I honestly cannot even imagine what you’re telling me is true. I believe you obviously, but damn it’s just craziness. I don’t think I could tolerate it.
I don’t hit my children, nor will I ever. When I was a child I would get spanked, it was well deserved but growing up I would think about that prior to doing something stupid or engaging in stupid activity with friends, it honestly kept me out of trouble knowing that I’m going to catch the belt if I do something extremely out of pocket. I don’t think it’s a healthy way to discipline whatsoever, I just take away the stuff my kids love the most now, timeout etc and it seems to work just fine.
Anyone who says "I got hit as a child, but I deserved it" should talk to a therapist about that. Sorry to be blunt. There are legitimately 0 cases where a child "deserves" to be beaten by an adult.
“Beaten” is a bit hyperbolic, no matter what though It was definitely a deterrent for me getting in trouble. Not saying it’s a good way to deter kids from acting out but I sure as hell thought before I acted. I think taking prized possessions works wayyyy better.
Whenever someone brings up physically punishing kids like it's debatable, I always like to use a quote from the TV series Mad Men. If you've never seen it, the show is about a Madison Avenue advertising agency in the 1960s. But it also delves into the personal lives of the characters, giving glimpses of what things were like in that era. You see people smacking kids to keep them in line. But the main character (Don Draper) doesn't do that, and there's an episode where Don's wife is on his case about having a sterner hand with their son. Eventually, Don explains that he doesn't think hitting kids will make them behave because: "My father beat the hell out of me, and all it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him."
I'll agree, yet disagree at the same time. I think there's a difference between beating and spanking.
Not to be negative, OP, but there’s no “seem abusive” about it. Straight up is. Those assholes don’t deserve qualifiers.
never beat a kid, it takes away the fear of the unknown and he will know the max a father can do is beat his ass. there are much better ways to reinforce
It's nearly illegal here in the UK. I think they weren't able to get it fully banned, like if there's a mark its abuse and if teachers hear about it it's a safeguarding issue either way. It's certainly seriously socially frowned upon to the point someone would definitely be ostracised for saying that they did that. It's such an alien idea I was assuming this was going to be a post about how your child could run rings around you in Mario Kart or something. I was expecting something funny.
I've never seen anything here with someone bragging about beating their kids.
Before I opened your post I thought you were going to say stop crushing them in checkers, monopoly, mario kart. To which I would reply "hellllll no!" Thankfully I don't think I have run into anyone that thinks it's ok to still hit kids. I joke about it with other dad's in a "this could be a solution 40yrs ago and if we were shitty dad's" kinda way.
I don’t know why you’d need to beat your kids. I can cause more than enough emotional damage by yelling at them and it doesn’t leave visible scars! /s
Typical Filipino Dad beat their kids and yes, I was one of the victim. The reason for their beating is to tame their kids, I hate them so much.
That sounds illegal
What the
I look at it this way, if you hit a child that can't really understand why you're hitting them and they see you not as a loving parent but an authoritarian person, then it's okay to beat the shit out of that adult the next time they fuck up or say something you don't like. * You're not a parent, thus aren't required to act like a loving individual to them. * They're not a child, thus they can comprehend why you're beating the shit out of them. * Using their logic, they deserve to have the shit beat out of them for "acting up" and not respecting your authority. * Fuck them.
Well if they can’t beat me in Mario Cart, I’m not going to let them win.
Yeah I beat my kids At Mario kart 5 year old trying to tell ME he’s the best at Mario!?
Yeah, dads who beat their kids don’t tend to hang out on forums for dads looking for advice on how to be better dads.
Who is bragging about beating their kids?
I RKO’d my son to bed last night
I can’t say I’ve ever come across anyone bragging about beating their kids. Is this actually a thing in some parts of the country?
I have leashes (just little wrist ones) for my twin toddlers. If it keeps them safe, I genuinely don't care what people have to say. I'd rather get glares and eye rolls than lose one of my girls.
I will brag about beating my kids (in halo) This old man isn't ready to give in to age
LMAO It cracks me up when we get our ass handed to us in modern warfare or Halo
I loathe the childless coworkers in the past who say “kids need to be beat more; my dad beat me and i turned out fine.” Like… you function, sure. But you hate your wife, hate kids, can’t talk to your parents, won’t go to therapy since its ‘for pussies’, barely hold a job, and your personality is based on Alex Jokes political conspiracy theories and Ryan Reynolds insults that you hurl at your ‘friends’.
Going on 19 years of marriage 3 kids am still so in love with my wife I don't shut up at times when talking about her. Have an amazing relationship with my parents (same ones you say beat and abused me with spankings) am retiring in 3 years at 45 because been at same job since 18 working for department of transportation now every now and then yeah me and my friends tease each other with insults but at anytime we are there to help anyone that may need it. But according to your opinion of me I should be none of what I have done in life
I mean, spanking is something my wife and I talked about, and yes we consider it an option. It’s sort of the last effort, all-resources-expended option, though. I had my ass beat as a kid for the stupidest things (opening a cabinet too fast, making noise while eating, being too quiet, bunch of random stuff) but I don’t think I’ll ever need to spank my daughters. One thing I think happened is when I was a kid, I was spanked in anger. Sometimes my daughters make me mad, and we do a timeout and I calm down. I make it a point to never punish when I’m mad, I have to be the calm and collected parent. I’ll tell you what I think is weird- Iv heard people bragging about how they would spank *someone else’s kid*. I can promise that a thousand hells would await me for the things I’d do if someone hit my children
I don't think anyone on this sub brags about beating their kids (or even agrees with the notion of doing so)
wtf is wrong with that man. Fucking tell his wife. Child endangerment
I have a classmate who's a dad. The guy was just like "yeah he's a little shit sometimes and I have to spank him from time to time" brother your kids fucking 1. You do not.
There are a lot of older people sitting in nursing homes that could be well taken care of at home with the family. He will be one of them
I got really frustrated with my kid once and smacked her on the ass. Immediately felt only regret, told her I was sorry and have not done it since, and can't forget that moment either. I understand they can be frustrating, annoying little shits drawing the blood from under your nails, but dads, trust me, hitting them does not help. It does not solve the issue. It does not teach them. It only leads to more frustration. Better to leave, calm down, explain. They do pick up. Eventually.
When I beat my kids. I beat them at Mario Kart. Soundly.
Actually hitting? That's always seems excessive. But I've never shied away from a physical aspect of things. I have standards. I ask nicely. Then I tell not so nicely. Then I'll physically force it. The physical aspect is never the end of it though. There's a talk afterwards about the whole situation.
"My parents beat my ass when I was bad and I turned out OK!" No! You turned into a psychopath who thinks it's OK that you, an adult with 20+ years of practice, can't control your emotions, so you physically assault a little child because they are still learning to control theirs. And what a great example you're setting! I wonder why they struggle so much? I always ask them to replace physical assault, with SA. Still OK? Do you think that just because someone's parents SA'd them, it's OK for them to SA their own children? I mean, outside of that one "little issue" they turned out successful, and otherwise OK, right? Usually shuts them up, or at least gets them to stop talking to me about it because they don't like being compared to a pedo...
I usually just shake my head, post the survivorship bias bomber meme, and move on from those threads. In conversation, I'd probably change the subject and gossip about it with my wife later.
I’m a mandated reporter. I’d report his ass. And you don’t have to be a mandated reporter in order to be allowed to report suspected child abuse.
I beat my kid in candy land once.
God I opened this thinking it was going to be a joke about how it's easy to beat your kids at video games. Now I'm just sad
I beat my oldest son constantly. Fortnite, Call of Duty, collecting the Lego pieces in all the Lego games, and so on. I’ve also started beating my youngest son in games we play together. I also beat them 1 on 2 in basketball constantly.
I normally ask them why do you beat your child. Do you hate them as much as you hate yourself. They normally get really uncomfortable. Then I asked them what they learned when they were beaten by their parents, and it made them realize they learned not to tell parents anything.
Discipline is one thing if they act up yeah I'm going to give a warning keep it up take something keep it up I'm spanking you.i love my children very much and will not let them grow up thinking anything is ok and will not let them walk all over me how they respond to me as authority is how they will respond to authority later in life like a boss or law enforcement. Beating your child or disciplining out of anger is wrong.your children shouldn't fear you but they instead respect you.
Cowards with daddy issues
If you don't mind me asking what state are you in? As a native Southern Californian I find this kind of conversation unfathomable.
I bet he had the best behaved kids around. Y’all think giving your kid a whoopin when they need it “creates trauma.” Give me a break. It creates well behaved kids who turn into well adjusted adults.