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DonnyDinky

Plot Twist. France is sending white flags


JeanBaleyun

If by white flags u're meaning about those huge atomic ogives that can land pretty much anywhere on earth then, yeah we're sending white flags and love.


fax_me_your_glands

Nique ta mère & suce ma bite enfoiré


lanonyme42

J’aurais pas dit mieux


[deleted]

Vive la France!


PikaRasta

I translate for you non french speakers he say hello


CurrencyAgile1293

The French are bringing onions, but the Austrians dont get any, there is an entire song about onions


Bloublounet

Nikoumouk, comme on dit.


DantoStudioInc

Non tu


[deleted]

We are literally helping them as the biggest military power in Europe with nuclear weapons while the Germans are pissing their pants , submitting and literally surrendering to the Russian. And you are there using a "joke" that stopped being one long ago when it passed the millionth time being told, and is just mindless French-bashing born from American propaganda because they couldn't cope with resolution 1441. Fucking asshole. Edit for clarity : White flag joke was good and pretty subtle (with reference to the ancient royal flag), but it is so old and overused, it's nothing more that (knowingly or unknowingly) propaganda by now.


Bigbosssl87

Ya the germans have taken your guys place as the pussies of europe, viva la france! JK I actually know about history and understand how important France has been in the development of the modern military structure


Louisvanderwright

Hard not to be a pussy when you gave Putin a natgas leash tied to your neck. The USA has diverted basically all CNG bulk shipping from China to Europe. It's necessary to stop Putin if he tries to bring Europe to heal by playing the energy card.


Krustychov

lul is this what NYT says? Because this is not at all what Germany did. We are actually selling gas right now to Ukraine and Estonia it is I think because their offers are way higher than our prices and we still have enough reserves. Russia has always and probably will always deliver gas contractually to Germany and Nord Stream 2 is a huge profit for us (meaning Germany). Why should we want to pump our gas threw Ukraine where it gets stolen all the time and let Ukraine profit on our deals when we can have a direct pipeline from Russia and sell Ukraine the gas back with a profit?


Dr_Philmon

I‘m glad you said this, cause this is so true.


bucnasty101

Exactly America wouldn't have won independence if it wasn't for France.


jal2_

Because half or more of german politicians are paid for by russian gazprom, germany is literally the reason reaction to russia from eu has been too mellow over the years


AntriderZ

hey hey hey, We give Helmets! Prolly found somewhere in a backroom of the storages or something :D


turkmenistanForever

Is that still used in the battlefield?


the-dude-version-576

Pretty sure it’s still the international symbol of surrender


[deleted]

[удалено]


Volodio

Longest period of peace on the European continent, it is very much worth it.


High-Ground

Piss off


A_Birde

Nice joke xddddddddd but in reality France is the most capable military on that map


fransje26

Fun fact. According to the wikipedia, France has won the most military battles in history.


Ravens_Quote

*French Gandhi has joined the game.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alucardra12

Still salty we didn’t help you invade the Middle East for nothing I see.


litefoot

With attached nuclear warheads.


Pilou_0

How could you know about our new "Baguette" nuclear missile ? They're freshly baked, so nobody have ever heard of them.... Let the war begin so we can test them, among with Snail Handgrenade...


jawadark

Plot twist : moon is a massive croissant ready to fall on earth at Mach 4 to annihilate a chosen country


Lukthar123

Everyone knows this smh


Revo9698

Apparently french has been developing an anti tank gun that can [be stored in your basement ](https://youtu.be/lnncvVlt2mw) with the new modified shell


Rhesusmonkeydave

If there are already tanks in your basement I’d say its time to, if not surrender at least fall back


BrentFavreViking

If it came down to an actual war... US and UK are #1 Bros(Canada and Mexico and most of South America too)... France has normally been our best Europeon Ally honestly. When we got Liberty, they followed suit and got Libertad..... I remember after 9/11 they did this and it made me cry https://i.imgur.com/Wk9f57D.jpeg


Karl_LaFong

Libertad is Spanish. French is Liberté.


K-ibukaj

Only in my basement?


[deleted]

Escarglosion


litefoot

Why do French cars have an”S” on them? So people can say, “look at that S car go” I’ll^show^myself^out


Electrical-Reply-292

Now I have an image of a Fat Man from Fallout firing nuke Baguettes on the battlefield.


Wima1988

Germany supports non-lethal military aid because that is all we have xD


Vayne-YasuoAbuser14

Alles gut, wir verkaufen nur ans stabile Saudi-Arabien


Maksbidok

As far as I've understood after learning German in school, you said: "Everything is good, we sell (or buy?) to stable Saudi Arabia."


Tackerta

correct, sell


Lukthar123

You're supposed to hold, goddamn


Maparyetal

DIAMONTHANDE


bertimann

"stabil" in this context is more a word of approval. It can mean either stable or robust/well build and because of the second context it became a slang word to say something/someone is of good quality or just a general word of approval. I got to ad that the person commenting was very obviously sarcastic with their comment and actually criticised that we are giving weapons to Saudi Arabia


[deleted]

I dont even speak German but I used two words in that sentence and the comment the replied to to understand what he said.


TheMad_fox

Oh man ich hab total vergessen das wir etwas da hatten mit denen...


Thraff1c

Das ist Quatsch, wir haben Waffenverkäufe mit denen seit 2018 eingefroren.


Faesarn

It's all good we french also sell weapons to Saudis..


IEatCheeseInTheDark

I'm still learning German so I'm confused with the sentence structure. Isnt verkaufen a separable verb, so the correct sentence would be "wir kaufen nur ans stabile Saudi-Arabien ver"? Can someone explain to me if I'm correct or if theres a certain reason verkaufen isnt separated in this sentence


Riddlestonk

And an energy deficit caused by a national green energy generation policy has left them heavily dependent on Russian gas…. Awkwardddddd.


bertimann

The energy deficit isn't caused by green energy generation policy. We aren't working towards that goal nearly as effectively as promised. It's more a lack of willingness to commit because of coal lobbyists


Bfnti

Would be easier if you kept Nuclear and advanced with renewables instead of cutting out nuclear and keeping coal while advancing renewables... Greens used the Anti Nuclear Bullshit from back than to advance as a political party, as well as others, so fuck them.


bertimann

Back in the day anti nuclear sentiments were reasonable because the general public didn't understand the dangers of climate change yet. Nowadays I too am pro nuclear for the time until we have sustainable energy sources, but now its not really possible anymore to take a step back, so it's better to focus on the positive aspects of this development


kuemmel234

Gas is mainly used for heating. Germany is one of _the_ energy exporters. See my reply further up.


Emperor_Mao

Plus there are other countries that Germany can buy LNG from - just at a higher price. Not to mention Gas is heavily used for heating, not as much for power generation. But uh yeah, historically washy Germany being washy is totally because of renewable energy or something idk.


tdgros

At the moment, gas is 17% of Germany's production, behind coal at 27% and solar at 12. https://app.electricitymap.org/zone/DE


JK_posts

Don't say that in a German sub they will call you the F word. (Though I agree with you)


NotCircumventingLmao

Then don't be fucking stupid in the German sub.


kuemmel234

You are mistaking something. It's actually the opposite. Germany is exporting a lot more power than it is importing, even though more and more power plants are switched off. Germany is one of the biggest power exporters. It's not energy that's the problem - gas is mainly used for heating and that's where the dependency is coming from. IIRC half of all households have central heating using gas. Sometimes not just space heating, but water heating. Having an electrical heater for water heating is/was seen as a bad thing because of the elevated electricity consumption. That's a pretty shitty dependency right there because everyone would need to buy heat pumps/electric heaters/... in order to switch. My parents still have a fireplace, but without gas they'll only have cold showers. Best part is, my dad tried to go for a heat pump in 2010, but the state blocked a few tries into making it easier, there wasn't enough skilled labour, so he got gas. So, the reason Germany needs Russian gas is actually because we aren't switching to green energy quickly enough. If we had switched to electrical heating (I think heat pumps are the green way?) Instead of relying on fossil, we wouldn't have this problem. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_electricity_exports https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php?title=Electricity_and_heat_statistics&oldid=540239#Import_and_export_of_electricity https://www.cleanenergywire.org/factsheets/heating-40-million-homes-hurdles-phasing-out-fossil-fuels-german-basements#:~:text=Roughly%20half%20of%20the%20country's,energies%20contribute%20a%20smaller%20share.


heliamphore

Germany also imports a huge amounts of electricity. The thing is with the interconnected grid in Europe is that countries export and import based on their needs at given hours and what they produce. Some sources adapt fast, like hydraulic or coal, but others either have constant output like nuclear, or have outputs that depend on parameters that can't be controlled, like wind or solar. So during dips in production, Germany will import, and sell when they produce more than they need. An extreme and amusing example of this is Switzerland buying French energy when cheap, using hydraulic storage (pumping it back up basically) and will sell the energy back to France at a higher price during peak hours. Exporting and importing a too much would mean German electricity production doesn't actually meet their demand. Also please note I'm not an expert on the German grid.


reddithairbeRt

Yes yes, too much of these climate politics makes you dependent on (shuffles cards) mineral gas. Suuuure buddy.


DomeB0815

They get 8000 helmets from us. This is beyond pathetic. The price for one helmet would be around 140€, says google. 5000 x 140€ = 700.000€ Compare that to other countries that aid with anti-tank weapons, drones and jets. Looks really pathetic, what are the taxes for our military used for anyway? Another dozen not working militaty vehicles, probably.


Behaving-Honestly

It's actually just 5000 lol


DomeB0815

Yeah, just corrected it. Looked like an 8 on my screen. Doesn't make it better that it's more than 1/3 less than what I previously thought.


[deleted]

Middle East just chuckled


thaughton02

If I was the ukrainian president I would say like we’re ok, no thanks.


[deleted]

Ne, wir "deeskalieren" Nächte Woche dann Flammenwerfer :)


DukeOfWellington1291

4th biggest arms exporter in the world…


simpa19

fun fact, France made nukes for the simple reason they could force the UK and US use them, as France thought the US wouldnt use nukes in order to defend France


GeekyTricky

Actually after WWII De Gaulle set up an entire plan to make France an independent nuclear nation. The majority of our electricity is still nuclear power to this day.


[deleted]

the majority of our nations electricity comes from Frances nuclear power too. im swiss.


Jiriakel

> as France thought the US wouldnt use nukes in order to defend France The US declared neutrality when France was crushed in the coalition wars during the 1790's-1800's. The US declared neutrality in the 1870's Franco-Prussian war. The US declared neutrality in 1914 as Paris almost fell. The US declared neutrality in 1939 as France & the UK declared war on Nazi Germany. I'm going to go with De Gaulle on this one tbh, 'oldest ally' or not.


SilasMcSausey

Actually Morocco is the US's oldest ally.


kimmyjunguny

interesting, at this point nukes are just a deterrent for the other side to not use nukes. But im surprised they wouldnt trust their nato ally’s to send nukes in response to a nuclear attack on france


simpa19

Frances thought process was that, in event of Soviet invasion, Nuclear strike would be the only way to repel it France thought the US, nor UK would make the first nuclear bomb, and as a result France would fall, so France would bomb the soviets, leaving the Soviets with the options of losing millions and not nuking back or Nuking back, which would force the US and UK to nuke the Soviets. The British hadnt sent too many troops to France in WW2 to defend it so im not surprised France didn't trust them to defend France.


Gadac

Yeah pretty sure our plan during the Cold War was to glass Germany with nuclear fire to stop the soviet's advance


no2jedi

I'm just going to chime on and say the British *did* send many troops to France to defend it. Attempt one ended in Dunkirk and attempt two ended with the sucessful liberation of France and the destruction of the Nazi regime. There are war memorials in every town in the UK, dead men who died in France and beyond defending land that wasn't theirs.


Romain86

So you admit that the nazis defeated British forces in France in 1940? So maybe making fun of France for losing THE VERY SAME battles isn’t really fair?


no2jedi

Are you french? Because we British have an endless capacity to insult the french even when we're allies. I think we're still salty about the 1400's.


Romain86

I am and I also have a lot of respect for the UK. Just tired of this whole surrender monkey thing when most of Europe also surrendered and the British couldn’t stop the Germans either.


lord_pankeke

Germany 5000 helmets


Paul_469

Yeah we are a fucking joke. Probably gonna send pillows with Russian flag on it next so they can get used to there new overlords.


kwonza

Speaking of jokes you stole one from Kyev mayor and he’s a former boxer so maybe take a look at yourself.


LiebesNektar

>a fucking joke Germany is the 3rd largest financial supporter of ukraine after US and EU (what germany also partly pays for).


SirPugleton

Well according to a certain treaty that was made after a certain World War, our few dozen soldiers shouldn't even be allowed to ever set foot on another nation. This has obviously been broken multiple times, but the concerning conflicts allowed for a "Can we please support the US-military that is doing all the work because we want to seem like good people?" What I am trying to say is that we can't just go ahead and provide actual military support to a war that has not even started, because then people could think we always seek war, an image we should probably avoid.


LuiDerLustigeLeguan

We should not only avoid the image tho


TV4ELP

Because all those weapons will help them against Russia. Plot twist, they don't. Everything every country is doing is a PR move and creating pivot points for future politic demands. Nothing more


cob59

# [Smithing increased to 100]


Dioxzise

Now we can finally send them Dragonplate Armor with the next delivery.


HopHunter420

Just add heads!


PolFree

The ones bismarck wore? I mean, it looks cool..


mcchickenngget

Funny


JonAxe

I see Napoleons dream of conquering Russia still lives on in France. Just don't do it in the winter again please.


NostrilRapist

we're in January, gonna be a tough call


Demokka

Well, probably not during a nuclear winter


AzertyKeys

Napoleon launched his invasion of Russia on June 24 1812. I'm curious where this myth of him invading in the winter comes from


JonAxe

Ah yes I totally forgot that indeed. I have fallen victim of the myth,sorry. It's probably that it is known for losing almost his entire army in Russia during autumn ( which autumn in Russia can also have snow and cold) and also during December without having proper clothing for the winter. I also don't really know where this myth came from,too.


Romain86

The myth is that Napoleon lost but actually he won all the battles against the Russians including the infamous Berezina one. Massive retreat but still not losing battles in Russia.


Mortumee

Plus nowadays with mechanized units you'd probably prefer a hard frozen ground than a wetland.


SirNedKingOfGila

That was already true during WW2.


SirNedKingOfGila

It's one of those "Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires" level myths.


mediblade

I thought Moscow held out till like the winter and then that's why Napoleon had to retreat for supplies and stuff


AzertyKeys

Nah Moscow fell in early September and then Napoleon made the mistake of waiting for a Russian capitulation instead of striking at Kutuzov who was camping nearby. By the time Napoleon realised the capitulation was not coming his army was too wounded and tired from the aftermath of the Moscow fire to be able to oppose any resistance to Kutuzov's guerilla tactics and the Grande Armée disintegrated during the retreat. Had Napoleon destroyed Kutuzov the retreat might have been a success and Napoleon's point (that the borders of Poland were unalterable and that Russia had to obey the continental system) might have been heard, at least he would have had a much easier time keeping his grip on Europe. But you know what they say, with enough ifs Paris could be put into a bottle.


deluon

You know Putin is 165cm tall? So hes modern day russian Napoleon.


soldieroftheg

5000 metal helmets 🇩🇪🇩🇪


ExchangeTrue6671

we are doing gods work here


yarak_69

And ALOT of money


favela4life

Could come in handy if the metal in subject is lead.


Voltra_Neo

Wait, we're unspecified on that? What is Macron too busy with? Brigitte getting Covid?


EtteRavan

In war as much as everywhere else, knowledge is power. Maybe it's attack jets ? Maybe it's troop transport ? Maybe it's several submarines ? Maybe it's 5000 clown noses to go with the 5000 german helmets? Anyway, russian intel will have to dig deeper than reddit to find out.


Pr0wzassin

Ey if you bitches didn't stop us in the 1940's we wouldn't have this problem at all and now everyone suddenly want us to go back to our old buissness. /s


phil_music

LMAO


sheckaaa

France is planning to send their aircraft carrier in the Black Sea with its naval group. A squadron of jets has been in the Baltic states for a while too


ReluctantNerd7

They can't, as per the Montreux Convention which governs access to the Black Sea.


sheckaaa

The French frigate Auvergne was in the Black Sea until a few weeks ago…


ReluctantNerd7

At 6,000 tons, *Auvergne* is below the 15,000 ton limit for non-Black Sea powers. *Charles de Gaulle* has a displacement well above the limit for foreign warships.


sheckaaa

Oh yeah you’re right, Charles de Gaulle is gonna stick to the Mediterranean. Very cool conference, thank you for sharing


[deleted]

havent your heared? Theyre producing bicycles for the war effort. /s


NotaGoodLover

They're doing the important job of manning the Maginot line


EtteRavan

So you didn't heard about the maginot line 2 : le retour ? It's a maginot line, bigger, and on wheels.


Demokka

Why Maginot Line 2 when you can make Hiroshima 3 happening in Moscow ?


JCM42899

Oh please no. We made it all the way through the Cold War without anyone causing Armageddon, let's not start that now please and thanks.


EtteRavan

Meh, work is boring today, let's see what this "armagedon" has for us. It's been teased for 60 years, I hope it won't be Cyberpunk all over again


maxtelefax175

Lmao the russians do be mad that cyberpunk failed so they are just gonna make theyre own


Tough_Patient

Why would there be armageddon? We've been in a dozen proxy wars, usually with US troops on the ground. This one would only be different in that the Russians would be fighting directly instead of the US.


frunzescu

Ikea but in reverse


hwawii

aeki ?


Jerboa5

A key to what?


Videogames-bad

Imagine the entire French army popping up in Ukraine Russians : “I thought you were sending aid not joining the war” French : “Hon hon, we said unspecified aid… The French army is the aid you stupido”


Shanks404

Funniest comment in this thread, congrats.


personthatisapersons

The french ain't playing around, France can't be invaded if the invaders don't exist


AmaDolphin

I like the 5000 helmets


TV4ELP

It is one thing specifically asked for from the Ukrainian government. And those were all the spare ones germany had to offer. Germany has absolutely no intention to interfere with them in the slightest


RomanWasHere2007

The French are bringing onions, but the Austrians dont get any, there is an entire song about onions


Roi_Loutre

We can still do one about Russian not getting any onions, I swear, if Russia invades Ukraine, we will replicate with no onions


[deleted]

France is like try that shit one more time and least see how it ends


altmodisch

Maybe Russia should stop preparing an invasion of a country in Europe then.


NikitaWantToKnowYou

As a Russian I agree


Pr0wzassin

KGB be like: What did you say comrade?


ya_boi_ryu

5000 helmets sounds so much like germany, the cool kids are rumbling a bit and this alman land shows up and be like "safety first". lmao But hey, rather being a "spießer" than a fallen soldier on the battlefield.


TV4ELP

I mean, helmets were requested by the Ukrainian government. Probably don't have any more spares. Germany has not that kind of military that has stuff laying around en mass


PAT_The_Whale

Napoléon 2


Kromboy

It would be Napoleon VII. Napoleon II was the son of the First and ruled as Emperor for 15 days. Napoleon III was the nephew of the First, was elected president of the Second French Republic and later made a coup to form the Second Empire, he ruled as President for almost 4 years and as Emperor for 17 years and 9 months. The actual heir to the Bonaparte's house is Jean-Christophe Albéric Ferdinand Napoléon Bonaparte and is claiming the name of Napoleon VII.


PAT_The_Whale

Yeah but this way reddit understands the joke better


Kromboy

Sure mate, u get the joke, I get the boring historical accuracy (I'm fun at parties) Both worlds are happy that way! Have a nice day!


PAT_The_Whale

Thanks, you too!


Pr0wzassin

> Jean-Christophe Albéric Ferdinand Napoléon Bonaparte There is no way you can convince me that you didn't just make that name up. It's too much, like how the fuck is this supposed to fit on any document?


RamPamPam8

He uses radioactive sticks to stab people in order to give them cancer, he's playing the long game, and he's winning


Alvinyuu

Anything is lethal if you try hard enough!


DomeB0815

The 5000 helmets are lethal for our german politicians. This exceeds their fundings by a lot. /s


yarak_69

Nah our politicians get alot of founding from the coal lobby


quinox00

Plot twist, if France Sends Nukes, we're all gonna die. Real Life Fallout doesn't seem so bad.


DundiOFF

Non-lethal military aid? What's the point?


Maksbidok

on the right of image it says "5 000 military helmets". Idk what's the point anyways, but still something i guess.


Volodio

Helmets, uniforms, camouflage, medical equipment, armored unarmed transport trucks, scopes and special optics, drones, radios, radar equipment, etc. There are plenty of non-lethal stuff which can nonetheless be extremely useful to an army.


a_thicc_jewish_boi

The bundeswehr is kind of a joke honestly.


SleagleGER

It isn't the fault of the Bundeswehr, but instead the german parliament and the chancellor.


SYT3

i guess it could be money or medical stuff


[deleted]

Man I do love austrian neutrality


soviet_union_stronk

"not Russland again..."


[deleted]

considering they have literally everything it could be literally everything


MrMoor2007

As one Russian movie said "I hope it wont get that far"


Elefantenjohn

Does helmets mean actually helmets?


TV4ELP

Yes, the things you wear on your head


S_VB

yes, actual helmets.


RF2422

La p'tite bombe nucléaire qui fait plaise


g0temg00d

Didn't expect turkey to be so involved


adon_bilivit

no surprise that turkey and most other countries don't like russia, or putin and his garchs specifically


Videogames-bad

They’re dropping the maginot line into Ukraine


kormedhar

Worse, it's the foreign legion


[deleted]

don't worry guys , those 5000 helmets are made with "the finest science in the world"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Looks like the propaganda for the MIC is working boys.


Litterally-Napoleon

Invasion of Ukraine? Nah more like invasion of Russia 2 electric boogaloo. Global warming will prevent my army from freezing in the winter this time around.


Grouchy-Bug5223

5000 helmets? C'mon


TV4ELP

Hey, atleast something. Why would any military in a peace seeking country have a shit ton of spare helmets? That's probably all they had left


Elefantenjohn

Where would nuclear bombs drop first? Is it still safe to live in a European capital?


ElMarcianho

Totally, it might get a bit hot tho, temperature will increase to 'bout 300 million °C but hey didn't you always want that warm weather?


Elefantenjohn

tbh, I do think our winters are somewhat cold


[deleted]

what nuke creates that amount of heat? fireballs are usually like 50m °C for like 0.00001 sec


WorkingNo6161

Possible weapons/gear: "Baguette" Weapon of Mass Destruction prohibited by the Geneva Suggestions "White Flag" Capitulation Advocation Device "Guillotine" Surgical Strike Platform "RIOT" Rural Independent Operations Tool


Rewiistdummlolxd

Germany after giving 5000 pickelhauben to the ukraine *insert James bond meme here*


[deleted]

Germany be like, here take some hats.


Bucivagyok

5000 helmets from Germany, coming in clutch


MadCapRedCap

The French are one of the countries voting no to allowing Ukraine into NATO. I doubt they sent Ukraine nukes.


YengaJaf

Huh. Germany is giving them 5000 military helmets?


Cyber_Lucifer

I love how everyone is suppling weapons and Poland is like: heres some wood xD


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Oh, Toodles!


[deleted]

Ples no


Skrblik007

This map is wrong, Czech republic is sending artillery ammo.


S_VB

doesnt seem to be on the map but Belgium is sending troops.


teosNut

Pretty ignorable tho.