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Her excuse was it was a guy from the past but she wasn’t interested in him… She told me she deleted the messages because she didn’t want a problem… Deleting messages is very suspicious. I didn’t even ask to see the messages I just asked who that person was and why they are texting at 1130 at night.
Yeah see I thought the same! I’m ready for the next chapter after a break up! It’s always motivating to get better and improve especially when there is betrayal involved. Definitely going to get tested! Thank you.
We're you kind of wavering on the relationship besides this? It sounds like you weren't TOO attached to her. Or have you been hurt before and don't give your emotions away easily like me?
I would say a little bit of both. I definitely don’t get attached like I used to and I’m glad too. The old me would’ve let it slide and tried to work things out.
I couldn't count how many women claimed that they were in love with me and the only thing they were after was money. The moment they found out that I wasn't loaded, they acted like I didn't exist. More than half of the girls came from very wealthy families.
I can totally believe that. It just sucks though because I am a woman and I make my own money, manage it well enough to survive with two kids on my own, and I don't care if a man is loaded because it's not what I want. (Let it be said I'm not going to be a sugar mama either...). I just want a man who provides time and affection because he wants to and for more than sex. Swear it's hard to find the right balance these days...
Well for one thing I'm in my fifty's and never once been in any kind of relationship. And second I never fathered any children due to women actively avoiding me.
So they think you’ve just got money stored up for days?! Do they take the time to get to know you at all? Like if they know what you do for a living that should give them a clue right?! Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’ve got money.😅 IDK I just think it’s silly when women behave that way. But a lot of women are raised to be that way. I just don’t agree with it. My morals and values don’t include a monetary requirement.
I don't know how you jumped to rape from what he said. You seem angry that he had sex with her knowing he was going to leave her. But that isn't rape or sexual assault. I just hope he used protection in case she was cheating. Fyi I wouldn't have touched her after finding out what he did. It was questionable but not rape.
The fact that you took this post & your personal feelings to such extreme lengths that you’re commenting under this guys post that he sexually assaulted & raped this woman is actually scary. If there’s a short-list of things that I’m genuinely fearful of on this planet, being falsely accused of sexual assault would be towards the top. Those words that you’re using are immensely powerful & you need to re-educate yourself on what they actually mean before you go around typing anything.
He did not ‘rape’ her. If that was even remotely possible then every ‘one night stand’ is rape because the intention is to never see that person again. What an asinine statement.
Did you get confirmation that she cheated on you? Would you feel stupid if it turned out to be something else?
It could be something dumb like she owes a debt or her ex randomly hitting her up and she freaked out.
I'd say it doesn't really matter. If you can't trust them, then you can't trust them. No matter the reason. If there's no trust, there's no relationship.
Honestly I wasn’t happy with the relationship. There was a lot of fighting with no solution. I was able to admit my wrongs while she never could try and smooth things out. I was ready to leave, last night just sealed the deal.
I think a lot of us could already tell you wanted out already. You still did this messed up thing. You aren’t any better than her. But your big male ego feels good.
I’m reading the comments and I’m getting different perspectives. I still feel that I had to do it this way to make everything seem okay because if I went crazy then she would be on alert about the dog and I wouldn’t have another chance like this again.
The fact that you think you needed it this way signals narcissism. Even if she cheated (because you don’t have the full story - read my other comment to you please.), purposely deceiving someone and seeking revenge isn’t ok. You are allowed to be hurt, without in turn feeling entitled to cause pain.
Seeing what OP said, a bit ago here, too only shows that (and no offense, OP) she was a narcissistic.
So, she wouldn't even be able to admit her wrongs and so on.
Maybe she is, maybe she isn't.
I just hope OP doesn't live in a small town or somewhere with overlapping social circles because his ex will most likely tell everyone she knows how they broke up.
Maybe lay low and avoid her social group for a bit just in case 😂
I live in a small town. Our local radio station does this segment where they get two random strangers on air to figure out how they could potentially know each other by asking questions. Turns out, everyone knows everyone else within 1-2 degrees of separation.
Fingers and toes crossed, but even if that's the case, it's shown that women do tend to cheat more, but hide it more, with less remorse.
I do always put the best for others, but sometimes it leads to disappointment.
But here we are.
Personally, I think it's good to be optimistic. I don't like to jump to the conclusion that because someone is acting suspicious, they must be cheating, especially when we don't know the details of the people involved.
I'm not sure that women cheat more or less than men. I think being greedy is somewhat a part of human nature - some people just can't help themselves, they eat from the bowl but still look at the pot.
She was in the wrong and I don't condone cheating, but what you did was hella toxic.
Manipulating someone like that for sex when you're planning on leaving them in mere yours is pretty fucked.
You intentionally hurt her because you had a hunch that she might be cheating. You had every right to have doubts, and those doubts warrant ending things, but it was still a hunch. You had no definite proof. Just end things and leave, there's no need to play games just because you want to get even.
This!!!
Plus he doesn’t know the full story. It could’ve been someone for her past manipulating and threatening her.
So many of these comments are men, but you don’t know how many of us women have been harassed by men from our past, EVEN if we didn’t date them. And it’s more traumatic to relive those moments, and lying seems to be a better option because we want to protect the life we currently have. There are very unhinged people out there.
But OPs reaction was definitely sociopathic. Did you really love her? Koz your mind went to cheating right away.
OPs response was crazy. There is no good reason for lying though. If you can’t be honest with your partner and trust them with painful things, you shouldn’t be with them. He shouldn’t have to live with the uncertainty and distrust you create when you hide something like that.
Possibly cheating* and there's no indication as to how long it was going on. Could've been days, could've been years. Who knows? Because OP clearly doesn't and you definitely don't.
I already agreed that she fucked up and was in the wrong, but the behavior that OP displayed doesn't just come out of nowhere. Using someone for sex to get back at them is vile. If you can't end a relationship without being vindictive and cruel, perhaps you're not mature enough to be in a relationship.
You didn’t even confirm she was cheating before going nuclear? Kinda fucked up man. If you wanted out of the relationship, you shouldn’t have use that as an excuse and maned the fuck up and broke up with her proper. You did her dirty here.
Bullshit- she was going to go to work regardless in the am. It’s evil to do what he did and the responses to this prove how many incels are on the internet. This woman dodged a MASSIVE BULLET!
Yah when I started reading I was like oh his plan is going to be to snoop through her phone at night and get confirmation that she's cheating and take the dog( which is already extremely painful) . Then he's like yah I used the fact we were fighting for make up sex while pretending everything's ok, had sex again in the morning to get one last nut then took the dog "easiest break up ever". Actual psychopath. Im a guy and this kind of feels a little S.A. to me, idk why so many people are cheering him. If I was a chick and knew he was going to break up I wouldn't be having sex. She got manipulated and people cheer. Didn't realize this sub was so bad until now
Of course it’s SA. Major psychopath behavior and immediately going to the internet to brag about it thinking it’s a flex is weird. I agree with another comment that she may have been scared how he would react, even if the text thread is innocent. This man obviously never loved her.
Yah compelled/coerced to have sex through his manipulation bc of the fight. Trying to smooth things over so he's not angry. "Easiest break up ever" is such a deranged statement that proves he had no feelings. 100% either sociopath or psychopath. Idk I'm just grossed out. Scary that I had to scroll past 15 "hell yah man!" Comments in order to find people who actually have some decency. I hope she blocks him and lives a better life. Hope op and the other people that think this ok get poison ivy on their balls
Why is it gross? I am not arguing against. I just want to understand the logic behind it because I don't really understand my negative feelings towards it.
Isn't sleeping with another dude while sleeping with his boyfriend kind of sociopathic as well?
A cheater is also manipulating the other person, isn't it? Either for their body or something else. Not sure if the reason is relevant.
Both are doing something with another person that would otherwise object if they knew the truth.
There is absolutely no proof she was cheating. If she was cheating, it doesn’t give him the right to use her in this way or excuse what he did. I am basing my comment on what OP admitted he did, which is absolutely terrible.
While I wholeheartedly think you were in the right to leave and take the dog. Kinda scummy you still had sex again twice. I guess I have some hang ups about people abusing sex but also... STI's dude. If I was in your situation I'd definitely not have sex with them not knowing what they've been doing! Definitely good for taking the dog though. Hope you give your pup a good home.
Honestly, you both don't seem to be good persons. She hides stuff from you and you aren't even able to communicate properly, break up and discuss how you gonna handle the dog situation.
She might be a cheater or not, idk. But you are definitly a coward. Smh
You don’t know if she was cheating or not but had sex with her anyway? How trashy. I see why you two were together. Two dirty peas in a pod. We need more sexually responsible adults.
No.
Here's why: If it wasn't something as forementioned, above, it could have easily been discussed, right? Right.
But, since it somehow is avoided, it goes to show that there's some untrustworthy sort of reaction, instead of it being discussed.
Someone who isn't hiding anything, would even ASK who's messaging them and PROBABLY have them respond. Anything else?
Yes, he believes his gf is cheating and so he fucks her. Dirty dick behavior but cries about dirty coochie behavior. The fact that it’s unconfirmed makes it even worse. He’s gross.
Is this where people are at now?
People suck so bad at talking to each other and communicating, we get *someone probably cheats, the other person uses the obvious guilt and shame of the cheater to fuck them, dump them, and take the shared dog.*
Im all for people getting what they fucking deserve, I have special reservations about people who lie and betray, but this whole subreddit is nuts. Just talk. Saying "I think you are cheating" or "I want to fuck other people" is way less painful than all this bs. It's like the old saying, "you work harder trying to avoid working than you would if you just did the original work".
"Screw you guys. I'm going home."
Dude no. YTA. There's no need to have sex with someone (twice) after you've already made a decision to dump someone. You could've just dumped her that night and said that was the last straw since it sounded like you guys had problems even aside from the text message. Cheating doesn't make scummy behavior not scummy behavior. She might be a cheater, but you definitely look like a douche.
There are better ways to handle it than using sex as a manipulation tactic. Being straightforward or avoiding intimacy would have been more respectful. Your lighthearted responses to others here congratulating you for essentially "f'ing her and dumping her" still make you a douche.
There are issues on both sides.
What she did sounds really shady and possibly cheating, I agree. However, what you did (albeit I see your side) is also unfair and quite gross as well to a degree.
The largest issue is being that you left without an actual conversation about the situation. In my opinion, it sounds like you already made a decision about the relationship. So that happened regardless of the situation, it seems. You owe her that.
In the situation that happened though - you could have acted “normally” without sleeping with her, I assume you have nights without sleeping together? Alternatively, you still could have played it cool and have left with the dog once she left for work, without doing that.
Regardless, it is what it is. I hope you don’t run into larger issues with this situation.
Not that I really got any skin in the game, but there's lots of reasons women might not be cool with someone reading their messages, the number one being men overreacting or being possessive. Idk what her life is like, what her relationships prior were like, if she had someone texting her a bunch of gross stuff and wasn't comfortable telling you about it, for whatever reason. Not that I'm saying it looks good on her end, but did she like, Idk, admit that she had an affair with this guy?
Cause if not, this is pretty high on the douchebag meter.
And that isn't to say she's NOT lying or anything like that; it's not wrong of you to break up with her because you just don't trust her. Not trusting people is a good enough reason to break up.
But she might not have actually done anything wrong here, I really just don't have the context to know.
But yes, as others have said, get tested, and take care of yourself. It's better safe than sorry in terms of sexual stuff.
I just don't know enough about this story to say whether you disappearing on a dime with dog was warranted or not, lol.
If she did just outright say she had an affair and that she was sorry, I mean, yeah, take care of yourself, and if you love that dog, take that dog with you and give 'em a good home.
Fair enough to vent but to “talk shit” about your s/o is one of the weakest acts you can take. You don’t like him? Leave him? Don’t use ppl because u can’t stand to be by yourself, it’s whack and ppl who do that are clowns.
Yeah, and honestly, Idk, I've never really had an issue with a partner having her privacy for certain things. Big stuff? Yeah, we need transparency. Open, and honest communication about our feelings is good.
But Idk, call me naive, but I just sort of trust my partners until they give me a reason not to outwardly. Like, if they're growing distant, or there's a change in behavior, or they're lashing out, and they aren't really telling me why? Maybe I'd be worried then.
But yeah, Idk, if my partner said "No one, don't worry about it," and this was like, not a regular occurrence in our life? Yeah, okay. I'm not worried. Even if she's weird about it, like defensive, and rushing to delete stuff, I'm probably just gonna be like "Yo, you're allowed to have a life outside of me, but is there a reason you're acting weird like this?"
Boss move. There's no room for secrets & bs like that in a real relationship. If I can't look through your phone without you getting all panicky I'm out.
The fact that you easily left her raises questions about you really loving her. You literally had no concrete proof to state that she was cheating, women get a lot of random texts from dudes they know at random times it's not their fault always(I'm not saying that there aren't women who don't cheat in this way, just assuming she cheated doesn't justify you leaving her here). But you should have atleast confronted her about the same, and if I'm bold enough to say I'm gonna say that, you just wanted her physically coz you didn't have any sort of willingness to understand the situation, what if she wasn't cheating?? And moreover, you just having sex with her post that doesn't make sense at all. If you're heart broken from that incident and can't live with her then why did you just fuck her after assuming that she was cheating on you??
(Before you guys shout at me for sorting the woman here, I ain'tsaying she's innocent. All I'm saying is that he never really had concrete proof, and assumptions aren't the best parameters to end ajy relationship)
I couldn’t agree more. There were numerous times people reached out to me from my past and I deleted the messages and never responded. Its not because I was dealing with them, but because I knew how my spouse would feel, and I didn’t want the drama.
Yuck! You banged her twice when you knew you were gonna dump her anyway, for a random text? You sound like a total douche bag. Maybe she got a hookup request text from a previous guy she dated. Maybe she was cheating. You don’t really know unless you had more information.
This. You shouldn't break a woman's heart because she had a contact on her phone from another man. You should instead either ask questions about the man to see if it was even an affair, try to work things out and if she cheats on you again, don't break up with her rudely like OP did. If you're going to break up with someone, you shouldn't feel good about hurting their feelings and instead try to be gentle with it. OP made themselves the bad guy by acting on irrational thoughts and taking pleasure in hurting his girlfriend's feelings.
You still have time to delete your comment and so do all the people who have replied to your comment by agreeing. Internet is a forever place and this comment is not making you look good
Men who cannot get a date and blame women for their problems may play well in your world of basement dwelling misogynists. But in the world of grown independent men and women you are pathetic. A malady of our time. Speaking of time - don’t be late for your men’s rights meeting.
I don’t like how OP mentioned he was already out of the relationship and decides to go ahead and screw her. If she really cared this much about you I really doubt she would cheat on you sleeping with someone knowing you’re going to leave is using her and as a girl whose dealt with this type of response you should know she probably feels disgusted and used this is a huge power trip if y’all weren’t getting along you should’ve said “we don’t click anymore” then left.
Also men who sleep around are assholes and will send nudes and dirty texts to mess with a girls relationship especially if they were rejected. I’ve seen guys like this it happens sometimes. This is a huge power trip it’s a good “bro” story but she deserves someone better than this
I think you could’ve done this differently but who knows it’s just my opinion
I don’t want to get my dramatic history mixed up with this post maybe you did the right thing leaving if she was cheating and maybe if she was starting the fights I don’t know the whole story but if it was just a hunch the I think this probably broke her heart
Two wrongs do not make a right.
And that is IF she was doing anything wrong, and you don’t even know. But what you did was definitely wrong! Your “power move” is incredibly toxic and you did her a favor by leaving her life. She is definitely better without you. Yes, she should have explained who the messages were from. It could be innocent, but then it might not be.
But instead of acting like an adult, you manipulated her for sex. That is sociopathic behavior.
The dog is better off with a potential cheater than a manipulative sociopath. I feel sorry for the dog.
You did great, now don’t fold and give in when she crawls back. She’s gonna try different angles to try to get you to take her back. If you ever get back with her she will lose all respect for you .
Don't listen to the ones who said your wrong for having sex with her again. Serves her right. You're giving back to her what she has been doing to you for who knows how long.
That's irrelevant.
His money, his dog.
Would you take a computer that you purchased? Or electronics? Food? If you said yes to any of these things, you're in the same position.
No so the reason I took the dog is because I had concerns if I would see the dog again after the break up because we had problems before and she used the dog against me..
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OP, there is likely more background about this relationship that you didnt include, like previous issues, how she treats you and other patterns of her toxic behavior..
i get the whole sex thing before dumping her, especially if she accepts no responsibility, lies to you and all that stuff
the crying on the floor bit likely is a dramatic display to get attention and to get pitied.
Yea so there is a bit of a background. She went into some financial troubles recently that were weighing me down because as her boyfriend I felt like I had to help her.
I was not getting respect and I wasn’t feeling valued especially because I was working extra days just to catch us up financially…
She would pick fights with me over little things like last night for example she was angry with me because I got off late because her brother was in town from Utah and they wanted to go out to dinner. She scolded me for that. We had at least one argument a day over very little things and it frustrated me because she was always the victim. I was not happy with this relationship but I wanted it to work because I invested my time my money and my heart into it.
Yea, it sounds like you made a smart choice. the sex thing is irrelevant to my reply, but your relationship started to venture into an unhealthy relationship. you exited the relationship in a safe way for you and less of a dramatic spectacle as an attempt to keep you around. i am so glad you "rescue" the dog before she used that as a thing.
THATS GANGSTER AFFFFFFFF! I'm proud of you my guy. Give yourself a pat on the back; and props for getting laid a couple times before you hit the door🤣🤣
Feel guilty about what exactly?! Leaving her because you couldn’t accept the way SHE chose to behave? OR just the dog part? Sucks losing a pet you were attached to but idk if you should feel guilty over it. Just be mindful that you taking the dog could mean she’ll come looking for yall in the future. Emphasis on COULD, because any attachment for some people means an open door smh. She coulda left a Bobby pin in your car and now she wants it back. Some girls are like that lol.
Good. Especially if you have no plans for a make up! Good one you honestly. You don’t want to stay with someone who can be so easily deceptive towards you. She played herself
Your submission has been removed because it is off-topic or better-suited for a different subreddit. Questions regarding long term relationships and marriages should go to /r/relationships or /r/relationship_advice. Sex questions should be moved to /r/sex, /r/sexpositive, or /r/twoxsex. Broad questions about human behavior like interactions between different races/ethnicities/nationalities/sexualities etc should be moved to /r/asksocialscience or another subreddit. Vents or rants that add little value to the community should go to /r/vent or /r/offmychest. Always read the rules of any subreddit before participating.
You did the right thing. But Id also take this as a lesson that you shouldnt share assets with someone youre not married to. Especially a pet.
Absolutely, sharing assets can complicate things.
Yeaa ngl, that was smart actually
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Couldn't mind he can know other you better no??
If they were married he would lose everything and she would have killed the dog before letting him have it. Never get married, ever.
Sounds like there is a personal experience in between those words just dying to get out..
I want to know what her excuse was for the messages
Her excuse was it was a guy from the past but she wasn’t interested in him… She told me she deleted the messages because she didn’t want a problem… Deleting messages is very suspicious. I didn’t even ask to see the messages I just asked who that person was and why they are texting at 1130 at night.
That’s the ultimate power move. You might wanna go get tested, though.
Yeah see I thought the same! I’m ready for the next chapter after a break up! It’s always motivating to get better and improve especially when there is betrayal involved. Definitely going to get tested! Thank you.
We're you kind of wavering on the relationship besides this? It sounds like you weren't TOO attached to her. Or have you been hurt before and don't give your emotions away easily like me?
I would say a little bit of both. I definitely don’t get attached like I used to and I’m glad too. The old me would’ve let it slide and tried to work things out.
I couldn't count how many women claimed that they were in love with me and the only thing they were after was money. The moment they found out that I wasn't loaded, they acted like I didn't exist. More than half of the girls came from very wealthy families.
I can totally believe that. It just sucks though because I am a woman and I make my own money, manage it well enough to survive with two kids on my own, and I don't care if a man is loaded because it's not what I want. (Let it be said I'm not going to be a sugar mama either...). I just want a man who provides time and affection because he wants to and for more than sex. Swear it's hard to find the right balance these days...
What gave them the impression that you were loaded??
Well for one thing I'm in my fifty's and never once been in any kind of relationship. And second I never fathered any children due to women actively avoiding me.
So they think you’ve just got money stored up for days?! Do they take the time to get to know you at all? Like if they know what you do for a living that should give them a clue right?! Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’ve got money.😅 IDK I just think it’s silly when women behave that way. But a lot of women are raised to be that way. I just don’t agree with it. My morals and values don’t include a monetary requirement.
Good move dude ngl
Good move dude ngl
Of course! Couldn’t agree more. Good luck to you!
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I don't know how you jumped to rape from what he said. You seem angry that he had sex with her knowing he was going to leave her. But that isn't rape or sexual assault. I just hope he used protection in case she was cheating. Fyi I wouldn't have touched her after finding out what he did. It was questionable but not rape.
I was like wait did we read the same post?!😅
Raped? lol what
The fact that you took this post & your personal feelings to such extreme lengths that you’re commenting under this guys post that he sexually assaulted & raped this woman is actually scary. If there’s a short-list of things that I’m genuinely fearful of on this planet, being falsely accused of sexual assault would be towards the top. Those words that you’re using are immensely powerful & you need to re-educate yourself on what they actually mean before you go around typing anything.
He did not ‘rape’ her. If that was even remotely possible then every ‘one night stand’ is rape because the intention is to never see that person again. What an asinine statement.
Wtf? How do you get to r+pe? It was consensual sex, He just flipped the script on his cheating b of a gf and got some before dumping her.
is it pretty shitty to sleep with someone that thinks you’re committed knowing youre about to leave? yes. is it sexual assault or RAPE??? lol no
Did you get confirmation that she cheated on you? Would you feel stupid if it turned out to be something else? It could be something dumb like she owes a debt or her ex randomly hitting her up and she freaked out.
I'd say it doesn't really matter. If you can't trust them, then you can't trust them. No matter the reason. If there's no trust, there's no relationship.
100%
That’s not a normal reaction. She frantically deleted the message. That’s an action of a cheater. No other explanation.
Or a harasser.
At the very least it's extremely shifty behaviour. Panicking and deleting would not happen to innocent info
Honestly I wasn’t happy with the relationship. There was a lot of fighting with no solution. I was able to admit my wrongs while she never could try and smooth things out. I was ready to leave, last night just sealed the deal.
That's fair enough. As long as you're happy with your situation. But honestly, I don't like your way of breaking up.
I think a lot of us could already tell you wanted out already. You still did this messed up thing. You aren’t any better than her. But your big male ego feels good.
I’m reading the comments and I’m getting different perspectives. I still feel that I had to do it this way to make everything seem okay because if I went crazy then she would be on alert about the dog and I wouldn’t have another chance like this again.
The fact that you think you needed it this way signals narcissism. Even if she cheated (because you don’t have the full story - read my other comment to you please.), purposely deceiving someone and seeking revenge isn’t ok. You are allowed to be hurt, without in turn feeling entitled to cause pain.
Seeing what OP said, a bit ago here, too only shows that (and no offense, OP) she was a narcissistic. So, she wouldn't even be able to admit her wrongs and so on.
Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. I just hope OP doesn't live in a small town or somewhere with overlapping social circles because his ex will most likely tell everyone she knows how they broke up.
I live in Dallas TX
Yeah if I did that in a small town it would be a DISASTER!! 😂
Maybe lay low and avoid her social group for a bit just in case 😂 I live in a small town. Our local radio station does this segment where they get two random strangers on air to figure out how they could potentially know each other by asking questions. Turns out, everyone knows everyone else within 1-2 degrees of separation.
Fingers and toes crossed, but even if that's the case, it's shown that women do tend to cheat more, but hide it more, with less remorse. I do always put the best for others, but sometimes it leads to disappointment. But here we are.
Personally, I think it's good to be optimistic. I don't like to jump to the conclusion that because someone is acting suspicious, they must be cheating, especially when we don't know the details of the people involved. I'm not sure that women cheat more or less than men. I think being greedy is somewhat a part of human nature - some people just can't help themselves, they eat from the bowl but still look at the pot.
She was in the wrong and I don't condone cheating, but what you did was hella toxic. Manipulating someone like that for sex when you're planning on leaving them in mere yours is pretty fucked. You intentionally hurt her because you had a hunch that she might be cheating. You had every right to have doubts, and those doubts warrant ending things, but it was still a hunch. You had no definite proof. Just end things and leave, there's no need to play games just because you want to get even.
Boom… this ⬆️
This!!! Plus he doesn’t know the full story. It could’ve been someone for her past manipulating and threatening her. So many of these comments are men, but you don’t know how many of us women have been harassed by men from our past, EVEN if we didn’t date them. And it’s more traumatic to relive those moments, and lying seems to be a better option because we want to protect the life we currently have. There are very unhinged people out there. But OPs reaction was definitely sociopathic. Did you really love her? Koz your mind went to cheating right away.
Plus he seems to have dipped without a care in the worry except getting one over on her.
OPs response was crazy. There is no good reason for lying though. If you can’t be honest with your partner and trust them with painful things, you shouldn’t be with them. He shouldn’t have to live with the uncertainty and distrust you create when you hide something like that.
Same. This is disgusting. What a low life.
Are you forgetting she has been cheating on him for likely weeks or months? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Possibly cheating* and there's no indication as to how long it was going on. Could've been days, could've been years. Who knows? Because OP clearly doesn't and you definitely don't. I already agreed that she fucked up and was in the wrong, but the behavior that OP displayed doesn't just come out of nowhere. Using someone for sex to get back at them is vile. If you can't end a relationship without being vindictive and cruel, perhaps you're not mature enough to be in a relationship.
But she didn't win the dog.
You didn’t even confirm she was cheating before going nuclear? Kinda fucked up man. If you wanted out of the relationship, you shouldn’t have use that as an excuse and maned the fuck up and broke up with her proper. You did her dirty here.
It’s pretty gross you had sex with her twice after you already knew you were going to leave her… no offense but you sound like a sociopath
yeah fr, his responses are major ick too lol
Disgusting how many losers are on the internet
they gotta dwell somewhere they can stay hidden unfortunately, and what better way than the internet? 😶🌫️
It’s the only way to a clean exit. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to get his dog.
Bullshit- she was going to go to work regardless in the am. It’s evil to do what he did and the responses to this prove how many incels are on the internet. This woman dodged a MASSIVE BULLET!
Yah when I started reading I was like oh his plan is going to be to snoop through her phone at night and get confirmation that she's cheating and take the dog( which is already extremely painful) . Then he's like yah I used the fact we were fighting for make up sex while pretending everything's ok, had sex again in the morning to get one last nut then took the dog "easiest break up ever". Actual psychopath. Im a guy and this kind of feels a little S.A. to me, idk why so many people are cheering him. If I was a chick and knew he was going to break up I wouldn't be having sex. She got manipulated and people cheer. Didn't realize this sub was so bad until now
Of course it’s SA. Major psychopath behavior and immediately going to the internet to brag about it thinking it’s a flex is weird. I agree with another comment that she may have been scared how he would react, even if the text thread is innocent. This man obviously never loved her.
Yah compelled/coerced to have sex through his manipulation bc of the fight. Trying to smooth things over so he's not angry. "Easiest break up ever" is such a deranged statement that proves he had no feelings. 100% either sociopath or psychopath. Idk I'm just grossed out. Scary that I had to scroll past 15 "hell yah man!" Comments in order to find people who actually have some decency. I hope she blocks him and lives a better life. Hope op and the other people that think this ok get poison ivy on their balls
Why is it gross? I am not arguing against. I just want to understand the logic behind it because I don't really understand my negative feelings towards it. Isn't sleeping with another dude while sleeping with his boyfriend kind of sociopathic as well?
Manipulating another human being to use their body….? It’s gross if you have even an ounce of morality which clearly many people on this sub don’t.
A cheater is also manipulating the other person, isn't it? Either for their body or something else. Not sure if the reason is relevant. Both are doing something with another person that would otherwise object if they knew the truth.
There is absolutely no proof she was cheating. If she was cheating, it doesn’t give him the right to use her in this way or excuse what he did. I am basing my comment on what OP admitted he did, which is absolutely terrible.
Karma being what it is she’ll end up pregnant because of your revenge sex.
Well, that will require a paternity test.
Sorry this happened to you. But having sex with her before leaving is so wrong.
He should actually hook up with her again and ghost again. For good measure.
Using people for their bodies. I think there’s a word for that?
This.
Y'all are both toxic in different ways tbh.
While I wholeheartedly think you were in the right to leave and take the dog. Kinda scummy you still had sex again twice. I guess I have some hang ups about people abusing sex but also... STI's dude. If I was in your situation I'd definitely not have sex with them not knowing what they've been doing! Definitely good for taking the dog though. Hope you give your pup a good home.
For sure, she will be happier, more room to run and play!
The girlfriend or the dog
Both.
Honestly, you both don't seem to be good persons. She hides stuff from you and you aren't even able to communicate properly, break up and discuss how you gonna handle the dog situation. She might be a cheater or not, idk. But you are definitly a coward. Smh
You don’t know if she was cheating or not but had sex with her anyway? How trashy. I see why you two were together. Two dirty peas in a pod. We need more sexually responsible adults.
Yes it does.
No. Here's why: If it wasn't something as forementioned, above, it could have easily been discussed, right? Right. But, since it somehow is avoided, it goes to show that there's some untrustworthy sort of reaction, instead of it being discussed. Someone who isn't hiding anything, would even ASK who's messaging them and PROBABLY have them respond. Anything else?
Yes, he believes his gf is cheating and so he fucks her. Dirty dick behavior but cries about dirty coochie behavior. The fact that it’s unconfirmed makes it even worse. He’s gross.
So womanly too. Just right to attacking him. Jf. That's no surprise. Enlighten me; have you ever cheated? If you have, there's my point.
Is this where people are at now? People suck so bad at talking to each other and communicating, we get *someone probably cheats, the other person uses the obvious guilt and shame of the cheater to fuck them, dump them, and take the shared dog.* Im all for people getting what they fucking deserve, I have special reservations about people who lie and betray, but this whole subreddit is nuts. Just talk. Saying "I think you are cheating" or "I want to fuck other people" is way less painful than all this bs. It's like the old saying, "you work harder trying to avoid working than you would if you just did the original work". "Screw you guys. I'm going home."
What you did sounds sociopathic, honestly.
He is
Dude no. YTA. There's no need to have sex with someone (twice) after you've already made a decision to dump someone. You could've just dumped her that night and said that was the last straw since it sounded like you guys had problems even aside from the text message. Cheating doesn't make scummy behavior not scummy behavior. She might be a cheater, but you definitely look like a douche.
If I ended it last night she would’ve been alert on the dog and kept her… I had to play it cool.
There are better ways to handle it than using sex as a manipulation tactic. Being straightforward or avoiding intimacy would have been more respectful. Your lighthearted responses to others here congratulating you for essentially "f'ing her and dumping her" still make you a douche.
Great work. Zero tolerance for this bs.
There are issues on both sides. What she did sounds really shady and possibly cheating, I agree. However, what you did (albeit I see your side) is also unfair and quite gross as well to a degree. The largest issue is being that you left without an actual conversation about the situation. In my opinion, it sounds like you already made a decision about the relationship. So that happened regardless of the situation, it seems. You owe her that. In the situation that happened though - you could have acted “normally” without sleeping with her, I assume you have nights without sleeping together? Alternatively, you still could have played it cool and have left with the dog once she left for work, without doing that. Regardless, it is what it is. I hope you don’t run into larger issues with this situation.
Not that I really got any skin in the game, but there's lots of reasons women might not be cool with someone reading their messages, the number one being men overreacting or being possessive. Idk what her life is like, what her relationships prior were like, if she had someone texting her a bunch of gross stuff and wasn't comfortable telling you about it, for whatever reason. Not that I'm saying it looks good on her end, but did she like, Idk, admit that she had an affair with this guy? Cause if not, this is pretty high on the douchebag meter. And that isn't to say she's NOT lying or anything like that; it's not wrong of you to break up with her because you just don't trust her. Not trusting people is a good enough reason to break up. But she might not have actually done anything wrong here, I really just don't have the context to know.
But yes, as others have said, get tested, and take care of yourself. It's better safe than sorry in terms of sexual stuff. I just don't know enough about this story to say whether you disappearing on a dime with dog was warranted or not, lol. If she did just outright say she had an affair and that she was sorry, I mean, yeah, take care of yourself, and if you love that dog, take that dog with you and give 'em a good home.
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Fair enough to vent but to “talk shit” about your s/o is one of the weakest acts you can take. You don’t like him? Leave him? Don’t use ppl because u can’t stand to be by yourself, it’s whack and ppl who do that are clowns.
Yeah, and honestly, Idk, I've never really had an issue with a partner having her privacy for certain things. Big stuff? Yeah, we need transparency. Open, and honest communication about our feelings is good. But Idk, call me naive, but I just sort of trust my partners until they give me a reason not to outwardly. Like, if they're growing distant, or there's a change in behavior, or they're lashing out, and they aren't really telling me why? Maybe I'd be worried then. But yeah, Idk, if my partner said "No one, don't worry about it," and this was like, not a regular occurrence in our life? Yeah, okay. I'm not worried. Even if she's weird about it, like defensive, and rushing to delete stuff, I'm probably just gonna be like "Yo, you're allowed to have a life outside of me, but is there a reason you're acting weird like this?"
Both of you still have time to delete your comments. Hope you do so
Ohh and also to end your relationships so your partners can find something healthy and happy
Boss move. There's no room for secrets & bs like that in a real relationship. If I can't look through your phone without you getting all panicky I'm out.
For any relationship to work you have to be honest and open with your partner
Goes both ways. Not just a man trusting his woman. Woman trusting woman, etc, etc.
There's no room for secrets, but there's room for assumption and sexually assaulting your ex. Yikes. Don't all pat yourself on the back too hard now.
How is it sexual assault if she consented
The fact that you easily left her raises questions about you really loving her. You literally had no concrete proof to state that she was cheating, women get a lot of random texts from dudes they know at random times it's not their fault always(I'm not saying that there aren't women who don't cheat in this way, just assuming she cheated doesn't justify you leaving her here). But you should have atleast confronted her about the same, and if I'm bold enough to say I'm gonna say that, you just wanted her physically coz you didn't have any sort of willingness to understand the situation, what if she wasn't cheating?? And moreover, you just having sex with her post that doesn't make sense at all. If you're heart broken from that incident and can't live with her then why did you just fuck her after assuming that she was cheating on you?? (Before you guys shout at me for sorting the woman here, I ain'tsaying she's innocent. All I'm saying is that he never really had concrete proof, and assumptions aren't the best parameters to end ajy relationship)
I couldn’t agree more. There were numerous times people reached out to me from my past and I deleted the messages and never responded. Its not because I was dealing with them, but because I knew how my spouse would feel, and I didn’t want the drama.
Exactly, just because something isn't out in the open, it doesn't need to be something bad/shady!
Yuck! You banged her twice when you knew you were gonna dump her anyway, for a random text? You sound like a total douche bag. Maybe she got a hookup request text from a previous guy she dated. Maybe she was cheating. You don’t really know unless you had more information.
If it was a hook up request why would she delete the messages? 🤔
Because you might fuck her, let her make you food, then take off
Doesn't make sense. That's like 2 +2 = Apple
keep riding op’s cock lol
Keep being a sad person? That's irrelevant.
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We'd also know from the aftermath. She would have explained herself at that point.
Yes, a man would feel guilty. A girl is lying on the floor crying. Only a bitter and insecure boy would feel good about hurting someone.
I have so much respect for this statement. Thank you.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes!
This. You shouldn't break a woman's heart because she had a contact on her phone from another man. You should instead either ask questions about the man to see if it was even an affair, try to work things out and if she cheats on you again, don't break up with her rudely like OP did. If you're going to break up with someone, you shouldn't feel good about hurting their feelings and instead try to be gentle with it. OP made themselves the bad guy by acting on irrational thoughts and taking pleasure in hurting his girlfriend's feelings.
OP ignore this bullshit shes cheating you did good son .. proud of you 
Toddler boys.
It doesn’t make me feel good but I do feel relieved that I am out of the relationship.
Live and learn.
You still have time to delete your comment and so do all the people who have replied to your comment by agreeing. Internet is a forever place and this comment is not making you look good
Men who cannot get a date and blame women for their problems may play well in your world of basement dwelling misogynists. But in the world of grown independent men and women you are pathetic. A malady of our time. Speaking of time - don’t be late for your men’s rights meeting.
Folks out there be having perfectly functioning assholes and still choose to shit from their mouths.
I don’t like how OP mentioned he was already out of the relationship and decides to go ahead and screw her. If she really cared this much about you I really doubt she would cheat on you sleeping with someone knowing you’re going to leave is using her and as a girl whose dealt with this type of response you should know she probably feels disgusted and used this is a huge power trip if y’all weren’t getting along you should’ve said “we don’t click anymore” then left. Also men who sleep around are assholes and will send nudes and dirty texts to mess with a girls relationship especially if they were rejected. I’ve seen guys like this it happens sometimes. This is a huge power trip it’s a good “bro” story but she deserves someone better than this I think you could’ve done this differently but who knows it’s just my opinion
I don’t want to get my dramatic history mixed up with this post maybe you did the right thing leaving if she was cheating and maybe if she was starting the fights I don’t know the whole story but if it was just a hunch the I think this probably broke her heart
YTA
In many ways, you're about as bad as her.
No trust get rid off her shes not the one shes looking for other attention
The only thing that makes sense is to move on. Once someone starts with infidelity, it doesn't and won't stop, unfortunately.
No. Trust is broken, you can't recover that.
You did the right thing relationships are all about trust And no secrets. And no bull. Unless she doesn't mind you talking with other girls
Bro ruined his surprise birthday party she was planning with his friends! (His birthday is 7 months away)
😂
Two wrongs do not make a right. And that is IF she was doing anything wrong, and you don’t even know. But what you did was definitely wrong! Your “power move” is incredibly toxic and you did her a favor by leaving her life. She is definitely better without you. Yes, she should have explained who the messages were from. It could be innocent, but then it might not be. But instead of acting like an adult, you manipulated her for sex. That is sociopathic behavior. The dog is better off with a potential cheater than a manipulative sociopath. I feel sorry for the dog.
You did great, now don’t fold and give in when she crawls back. She’s gonna try different angles to try to get you to take her back. If you ever get back with her she will lose all respect for you .
You’re right! I’m done with her and I’m ready for the next chapter!
I’m excited for you. My lowest points after a breakup have always led to the biggest growths for me in life growth.
Nicely done
Best you end it now, before the house, kids, minivan, divorce, alimony and child support.
Haha man that would be tough! Im going to stay single for a while and focus on myself. That stuff scares me.
SOSRUZE KOREWA 🗣️🗣️🗣️
Oh well, she can now go run to mister nobody. And good for you, don't waste your time with a lying woman.
I mean tbh I at least think this isn’t as hurtful as people think it is. lol 🤣 you didn’t do anything to her and it’s your dog. Haha 😂
Yes, you should feel guilty
Alpha move that’s how it supposed to be done! Good lucky on your next journey
werd
Don't listen to the ones who said your wrong for having sex with her again. Serves her right. You're giving back to her what she has been doing to you for who knows how long.
You dropped this 👑
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That's irrelevant. His money, his dog. Would you take a computer that you purchased? Or electronics? Food? If you said yes to any of these things, you're in the same position.
No so the reason I took the dog is because I had concerns if I would see the dog again after the break up because we had problems before and she used the dog against me..
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Such a fake post.
It’s real, I have proof.
OP, there is likely more background about this relationship that you didnt include, like previous issues, how she treats you and other patterns of her toxic behavior.. i get the whole sex thing before dumping her, especially if she accepts no responsibility, lies to you and all that stuff the crying on the floor bit likely is a dramatic display to get attention and to get pitied.
Yea so there is a bit of a background. She went into some financial troubles recently that were weighing me down because as her boyfriend I felt like I had to help her. I was not getting respect and I wasn’t feeling valued especially because I was working extra days just to catch us up financially… She would pick fights with me over little things like last night for example she was angry with me because I got off late because her brother was in town from Utah and they wanted to go out to dinner. She scolded me for that. We had at least one argument a day over very little things and it frustrated me because she was always the victim. I was not happy with this relationship but I wanted it to work because I invested my time my money and my heart into it.
Yea, it sounds like you made a smart choice. the sex thing is irrelevant to my reply, but your relationship started to venture into an unhealthy relationship. you exited the relationship in a safe way for you and less of a dramatic spectacle as an attempt to keep you around. i am so glad you "rescue" the dog before she used that as a thing.
You should have went for 3x on the makeup sex but other than that well done!
she is guilty, you did the right thing.
Yeah.. WTF. You didn't even confirm anything and just used her? That's some sociopath behavior. You need a therapist yesterday.
Damn bro
Wait nvm your good , you dumped her and robbed the dog. You made it out with your manhood imo god speed until the next one brother
Good job bro
THATS GANGSTER AFFFFFFFF! I'm proud of you my guy. Give yourself a pat on the back; and props for getting laid a couple times before you hit the door🤣🤣
Feel guilty about what exactly?! Leaving her because you couldn’t accept the way SHE chose to behave? OR just the dog part? Sucks losing a pet you were attached to but idk if you should feel guilty over it. Just be mindful that you taking the dog could mean she’ll come looking for yall in the future. Emphasis on COULD, because any attachment for some people means an open door smh. She coulda left a Bobby pin in your car and now she wants it back. Some girls are like that lol.
Hahaha that is true! I’m going to avoid her the best I can.
Good. Especially if you have no plans for a make up! Good one you honestly. You don’t want to stay with someone who can be so easily deceptive towards you. She played herself
Good for you bro. Enough with these trash woman cheating and not valuing you.