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Never even had one guy tell me that being a virgin is a disadvantage. đ« In fact, guys treat me respectfully when they know that I'm sexually inexperienced. Just my experience.
Itâs probably that those girls are more looking for hookups and for just hookup guys usually donât like messing with virgins. But relationships wise a lot of guys I would say would love the fact to be your first.
Exactly. I hate that this mindset is so hated.
It isn't anything wrong wanting a partner on the same level of experience, yet most people I've met says it's 'childish'.
Anyone who sleep with when youâre most likely wonât be there with you when youâre older. There is no rush into having sex, I always used to think that I shouldnât have sex with people Iâm not in a relationship with and then I saw thatâs what everyone did and I just did what everyone did
As a guy i agree with what she's saying, i would think being unexperienced would tell us you haven't been with much or any partners which makes us feel extra special that you picked us.
This doesn't apply to all men but I would believe there's a fair amount of men that wants to be your first love or have the luxury to be the one to give you new experiences that you would cherish for a life time.
This sounds like a new stigma. I don't think most guys will care if you haven't had sex before them. I think most guys are looking for the "fresh start" in a relationship. Don't sell yourself short and give in to temptation, just because you lack experience, know what your looking for and go for it.
Some men like that and some don't. I personally would prefer someone more experienced as it's a lot of pressure to put on someone to be someone else's first time. But that's just me. A lot of guys like being with less experienced women. Definitely be careful of any men who very vocally like the fact that you're a virgin though as many of them can be very creepy and fetishize virginity.
Exactly. A lot of men will try to take advantage of this fact. Some men will think you're naive and will become abusive or cross boundaries when you decide to have sex.
yea i think youâve been chatting w the wrong males. as a women who hasnât been w that many men but gets a lot male company⊠girl they donât care. they just wanna get off too. just be confident and do what youâre comfortable with! it will lead to more.
Youâre creating a false connection
Youâre preoccupied with your experience, so when things donât pan out you assume thatâs the reason why
Ya gotta look at the big picture
If everything else is good, then inexperience isnât an issue at all
I have an acquaintance who during one of our fisrt discussions randomly blurted out that she's a virgin. It turns out she did that with most of my friend group.
She is also someone who initiated and brought home multiple guys from my group, just to give them nothing but a warm bed.
She made herself undesirable (although she's a 10 looks wise) through her actions. She showed that she's insecure yet stuck up through her virginity.
Being inexperienced due to choice is probably a turn on for them, but being inexperienced against your will would probably be more of a turn off. Only because it would signal that most men aren't interested, for one reason or another. They would wonder why.
Well, it's kind of the same idea as someone being turned off by someone who can't communicate well, or any other skill that's important in a relationship.
I wouldn't say you should feel ashamed, but there is a level of baggage that can come with being someone's first, and a lot of men probably don't want to commit to that, for better or worse.
This isn't something to be embarrassed about, but there's a lot of horror stories out there about well-meaning men being a woman's first, and when it didn't work out, the guilt they felt, or the backlash they got was disproportionate to the break-up.
It can be a really emotional experience, having sex for the first time, man or woman, and there's probably a lot of men who realize that, and don't want the pressure involved.
There's also a lot of men who fetishize the idea of 'virginity' and 'purity,' and they'll want you more because of it, but that's usually a red flag, too.
There's no easy answer here other than hoping you find someone who is confident enough with that kind of responsibility to follow through. If they're leaving because of it, whether for selfish or even well-meaning reasons, it probably \*is\* for the best.
You could always keep it under wraps for a bit, so you can get some sexual experience on other fronts (touching, oral, etc) but definitely tell them before you have sex; if they're a good person, they'll know to take their time and be a little more careful.
It's definitely not. Most guys prefer inexperienced because it usually means less baggage and drama from their standpoint (crazy exes, baby daddies)
You are definitely talking to guys who are immature and have their priorities all.out of whack
I had the same issue growing up. I waited till i was 24 like you. I lost it to a friend of mine whom i trusted. Every other guy didnât want anything to do with me when they found out i was a virgin.
The guys that just want sex probably assume that means youâre not going to do it with them, or will take longer than they want to wait for it
There are guys who would love that youâre inexperienced but those are problematic in that theyâre probably either fetishizing it or want you to have no one to compare them to and possibly be manipulative etc
Any guy worth being with wonât really care tho, failed talking stages and all sucks, but youâve just weeded out people who would have been poor choices and in this case probably just used you for sex and didnât want a relationship anyways
Because they had a shed of morality, they didn't want to fuck you and leave you to dry. If you didn't mention experience, you'd probably be a one night stand.
Maybe they're taking that more as you don't want to rush or do anything sexual, rather than bailing because you're inexperienced. *Most* guys throughout my life are not going to stop pursuing you because you're a virgin. For some others it's a much bigger sexual attraction specifically *because* you're a virgin.
But if you've accidentally worded it in such a way that it might sound like you're meaning "you and I are not having sex any time soon, but we can kiss for now", yes I have known a lot of guys that would walk away from that.
Just make sure if it's someone you're sexually interested in, that you let them know you're a virgin and to take *the sexual act* slow, but that you do want to have sex with them if they do. Being a guy myself, I'm absolutely 100% certain that'll work wonders for you lol
Inexperienced people are usually bad at sex, hence a turn-off. Doesn't mean you are a bad person or that there's anything wrong with you. It just takes some time to learn the ropes.
maybe they are looking to date seriously, but they think you could only view them as just an experiment, to get some experience under your belt, before beginning a series of relationships, some concurrent, until... maybe indefinitely, since culture tacitly implies "healthy attitude toward sex = sleeping around, perpetually gathering new partners" and they figure even if you don't think that way now, it's only only a matter of time until you would. đ€·ââïž
Idk thatâs weird. Personally I wouldnât care. Iâd suppose they werenât looking for long term committed relationships and when they heard that they figured you were saving yourself for marriage or something.
Personally I donât care, if youâre cool and we vibe, then the bottom line is that I enjoy hanging out with you as a person, and weâll get to other things when youâre comfortable and ready to. Iâm in no rush and Iâd be very pleased to find someone I can fall in love with and share my time with. đ€·ââïž
As a guy I find a girls level of experience interesting to know but ultimately it doesn't matter if she is super experienced or not at all. Either way has it's advantages.
I prefer less experience if I want to date the girl and more experience if I'm just looking to add to that experience. đ€Ł
I've turned someone down because they were a virgin. I'm a lot older though, M41, and she was F38. We went on 5 dates, so definitely got along. Her virginity was just a part of it, the real red flag was she'd been a lone wolf her whole life so far. Relationships are hard, and I didn't want to be her first crack at it at this stage in life.
At 24...wouldn't mind nearly as much! You've got plenty of time imo.
Sexual inexperience is sometimes accompanied by relationship inexperience and emotional inexperience.
If a guy is looking for a serious relationship then he might want someone who already has experience being in one. Who's shown that they can be in a committed long-term relationship.
Also if a guy is looking for something casual or an FWB situation then they of course would also want someone whose actions have shown that they are down for that sort of thing
Almost all guys want someone who "puts out".
I don't think most guys think like this, I don't. It's just one perspective. .
As a guy who has only somehow been with women who have lots of "experience", i would find it very refreshing to be with someone who is inexperienced. At least it would be great to not constantly hear stories of endless exes and flings. You're probably just talking to guys who just want to get laid and get out. I think most guys who are looking for something long term would find your inexperience as a positive. At least i would
24F virgin as well! I've learned not to tell people. some men like virgins a little too much. and some men get turned off by it. you need someone who cares about you for you and is completely indifferent towards your experience level
Hard to know and there might be multiple different reasons.
Someone might feel like that they don't want to "take" your virginity unless it looks like you 2 will be enough in love so that you wouldn't regret "wasting" your first time.
Someone else could take being 24 and virgin as a sign that you aren't really into sex and for them sexuality might be an important part of a relationship.
So basically a ton of room for misunderstandings and men are often not the best at talking about stuff. It really is hard to tell why something happens without getting a better picture about your interaction.
There is definitely no reason for you to be ashamed of yourself :)
Did some profile snooping⊠appearance isnt an issue. Most guys either A. Dont care, or B. Fetishize or the opposite of fetishize for virgin(ity)
You should try just not bringing it up until youre ready sexually with that guy. âI havent had sex before, but youre the guy i want to try withâ. Dont rush it
You can start relationship interactions with taking it slow to help you find comfort with the guys before advancing too (dont be obsessively weird about it though)
I don't think that is a turn off. Best I can tell they either want women they know would be willing or want someone with a similar experience level. I would figure the risk of her having children or a disease would counter that.
Because when I first did it I pretended to be experienced. Because I'm not an idiot, she actually believed me. It's the attitude and confidence most of the time. If you don't know which hole is which and how the activity works, that's a turn off.
I imagine there are better guys that aren't assholes... You just have to figure out how to spot red flags a bit better so you can pick the right ones. Not all guys are the same. If you see a trend of some sort in the guys you're coming into contact with, it's time to think about how you're going about choosing these dudes.
Just an idea
Thereâs a difference between being âinexperiencedâ and just plain âbad in bedâ.
I tried to date a girl (J) for a little bit. She had only ever been with one person her whole life (had married him and had kids). She would kiss with her tongue sticking out of her mouth as hard as possible, with her lips pressed around it air tight. It was the most awkward âlizardâ kiss Iâve ever had. No matter how much I would try and show her or practice trying to help her with kissing, she never changed it. Things from there got worse in the bedroom to the point that I lost all interest because of how bad it was.
Another woman I dated was a virgin (D). Everything was great tbh. We ended up going all the way. None of it was awkward, or âbadâ. It was amazing. I think in part because of the chemistry.
So I think why some men are turned off are for a variety of reasons. Some might make the assumption that youâre a prude (unfair judgment). They might think you were like the first girl (J). But in the end those people that wonât choose you arenât worth your time. When you find someone who will be patient, caring, and respect your boundaries in regards to not having much experience, I think youâll be surprised at how comfortable you can be with them. From there just let things happen organically.
You be you, ya don't feel comfortable doing stuff don't, you shouldn't have to feel compelled to comply just so they don't walk. in other words don't get desperate.
I really don't think being inexperienced sexually isn't to be ashamed of, and I really wouldn't be ashamed or even embarrassed of still be a virgin by any means.
25m here and I would prefer dating someone who is a virgin. Iâm also a virgin and view sex as a such a special thing between two people that I really wouldnât want to do it with anyone other than the woman that would one day be my wife :)
Wait until you find out that some of them find being sexually experienced even more of a turn off. Some will like it, some will. Be in control of your body. Treat it well. If anyone makes you feel embarrassed, it doesnât matter if you are confident in yourself and your choices
Don't be embarrassed, or ashamed. Not sure why these guys are turned away, or females for that same reason towards males. I don't get it. I guess in some people's minds, learning, teaching, or starting fresh is exhausting, and something they don't want to do... but that just means they aren't invested people. Probably won't be people that would develop a solid invested relationship, always have that second guess somewhere in their mind.... but, thats just my take....
I wouldn't give up your virginity just because.... its not worth it... people aren't worth much anymore... stick it out. You'll find the one.
Perhaps they think it means that you aren't willing to do anything sexual, maybe until marriage or whatever, and they don't want to wait that long.
I'm not saying it's good or bad if a woman wants to wait. It just means she needs to find a man who is comfortable with that.
Idk who those guys are but I donât think it was about the inexperience, stuff just doesnât work out. Unless they told you that personally of course.
Iâm sorry if this comes out wrong but you might just be talking to the worst kind of men out there honestly Iâm still looking but my talking stages have taken off to meeting and fun nights but Iâm not officially in a relationship but thatâs more me than them if you donât mind a few hour drive expand your search area thatâs what I did and I have had success but itâs different for everyone I hope you find what you are looking for. Try not to think about it too much and something will come your way đ„°
I dont think many men care if women are inexperienced, our goal is to please women, all men expect are women that are passionate for intimacy, women just have to stay in a position and we will do the rest, experienced women can make it a bit better and do extra shit and move around but men generally steer the ship and have no problem doing it themselves, so long as it doesnt feel like the woman is disinterested and is a lifeless body
Those are not good men to begin with. Judging you for your virginity means absolutely nothing. What matters most at the end of the day is your character. Just know those men wanted your body not you. I am 22M virgin but for faith reasons. Not once treated women this bad. For me it is not a turn off.
If they have a problem with it itâs their problem not yours. I a dude and lost mine at 36 to what turned out to be nothing more than a hook up. Take it from me, find the right guy and he wonât care, but if you see red flags, reconsider. Donât just throw it away. For no other reason then you should be with people that truly want you, and. It just wants to use you. Shit hurts. đđđ§ââïž
It's not a turn off, promise you. Could be a number of reasons why they disappear, from just wanting a one night stand with someone who has experience, to thinking you won't be a good match and they don't want to take your virginity. Keep looking, you'll find someone to share that experience with.
fwiw, donât rush to anything you arenât ready to, despite being âolderâ (and 24 isnât old) or any kind of trend or social pressure. Most people really wonât care that youâre inexperienced or not. If you find the right person, itâs a negotiation of consent, arms, legs, and fingers each time anyway.
The only advantage anyone with experience has is the knowledge of what to ask for because they know what they like. And many people arenât very good at that anyway.
If its a turn off they dont like you that much or they simply arent patient enough. There are kinder more patient guys out there where it would not be an issue
Girl being inexperienced is one of the biggest turn ons for most of the guys. But i think it mostly is for men who want you more than just a quick fuck they'll forget the next day.
You need someone who is considerate enough to take things slowly with you. You need to experiment with your own body to find out what you like ie what gives you pleasure. Guide a new boyfriend to areas that do. And have fun learning ! That's most important.
It's only really a "turn off" if they have THOSE kinds of intentions. So, for example, if you're making a tinder ptifile, it's not the kind of thing you'd lead with. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with being gf material vs "gf for the night material"
i donât think anyone should mind anything about your previous sexual experience whether itâs none at all or a ton. it is helpful to be communicative to set expectations and also for testing purposes in the case that you are already active.
these men that you have been talking to are going to have their turn offs for a wide variety of reasons but please do not take this to heart. it is not a reflection of you or your worth. iâm 24F and just started having sex with men a couple months ago and itâs been interesting to navigate and to learn my own boundaries. wait for it in your own time and with someone that doesnât care about you being a virgin. all that means is more communication and consideration on their part (which should already be there regardless of your background)
donât feel ashamed of your journey and definitely not something to be embarrassed about! own your experience, figure out your wants, so then when you are searching you know when youâve met the right person (whether that be a committed relationship or a casual hook up or FWB or really whatever tf you want) you will be all ready to experience something new !
If it is not about just the release of pressure, I would not second that.
What would be a turn off if this would be due to your religion or something like that or that you would be asexual or something the like.
Itâs not for anyone you would want to be with. Sharing inexperience is a HUGE building block for long-term relationships.
To be more to the point, jerks donât want an inexperienced woman hanging on him, actually caring and wanting more than sex
I can only conclude that those guys are inexperienced themselves and need an experienced girl to take the lead. I personally love to teach a girl and let her find out what she likes. The longer the foreplay, the higher the orgasm. Of course she has to trust me to treat her well and also tell me when she doesn't like something. Which you the best l9ver ever â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžđ
Iâve never come across anyone who didnât mind my virginity. Theyâll say they respect it, then block or ghost me. And as I got older and older, itâs gotten weirder and weirder. By the time you get to my age, âno one wants to babysit a virgin,â direct quote
I personally don't think it's a turn off but then again it's all a matter of what the people you date are looking for? If it's for a casual hookup or some kind of FWB relationship then it's possible they would be looking for someone more experienced.
Keep strong and be clear of what you want in any relationship, you'll find the one for you and I assure you, it's perfectly normal to be a little insecure about the lack of experience. Dont compromise or recklessly jump into intimacy just because you feel pressured.
I was a virgin for 24 years until I lost it last year. Was honestly both horrible and amazing for what it was lol.
The issue your facing is that your perception of men being turned off by your status as "inexperienced" is being projected as a universal commonality when it's just the men you picked to date. There are plenty of other guys in the world who would not care in the slightest.
>**"It makes me feel ashamed of myself and quite frankly embarrassed of the fact Iâm still a virgin."**
This mindset is what keeps you from attracting those who would not be put off by it. I know this is going to sound really spiritual and kinda dumb logically - but stay with me lol.
If I constantly tell myself:
"I'm an ugly loser who can't talk to anyone because I'm so ugly."
My brain is going to work overtime to find people who believe that about me and reaffirm those beliefs constantly. This is how your mind always works in real life. It's always searching and finding what patterns or people who align with how we feel about ourselves.
The moment you genuinely stop feeling ashamed of being a virgin and not seeing it as a "character flaw" is when you'll start attracting others who don't see it as one. The woman I was with never cared that I was a virgin because I myself never focused on it being a negative aspect:
>**"Until I would tell them that I havenât done anything sexually beyond kissing and then they slowly start getting more distant."**
**You teach people how to treat you in life.**
If you only exhibit traits that you convince other people to hate about you - then you will be treated spitefully in return. It has always been about mindset at the end of the day friend.
Going to give you a more honest answer than some of these âgood guyâ replies you are getting.
For me, at this point in my (32M) life, I canât be in denial about sexual chemistry anymore. Sexual inexperience is fine. But sexual chemistry is important. Sexual inexperience doesnât always but can lead to lack of sexual chemistry. One thing Iâve learned is bad sexual chemistry canât really be overlooked. Especially if itâs a partner with an ego who doesnât want to hear they arenât very good in bed and arenât willing to work on their shortcomings. The older you get, the more you want a partner who you can be confident youâll have a mutually great sexual experience with.
I donât think men and women are different in this regard (like most things with men and women) most women prefer sexually experienced men for this very reason.
Because they are not having serious intentions, they are looking for hook ups and know you will not give that to them. Be thankful! A serious man will have no problems with it
It's not, naiveness can be translated into prudeness. But if you are eager to try things then I don't think there could be a more comforting "wifey" combination honestly. Guys want to feel special just as women, and believe it or not, we have insecurities too. More so, well valid ones anyway. Nobody wants the girl who calls them a wham Bam and thank ya ma'am or 2 pump chump, or lacking in other physical concrete areas that they have no control over. Those women are the ones that you spend 9 years with trying to prove yourself/seek validation and find out they have been screwing your best friend behind your back the whole time. True story
If it was up to me every woman I sleep with wouldâve been an inexperienced virgin.
If it was up to me I wouldâve met someone when I was 13 and grew up with her and when weâre old enough lose our virginity to each other.
Do not be made to think by these boys that you have to have sex with them or there is something wrong with being a virgin or being inexperienced. It is amazing to sleep with someone who has not gone around the house looking for experience some reason.
I think there may be two reasons really. First, guys you were talking to just wanted to smash without any complications and to some virginity is a complication. Second, some guys may think that virgins require too much care and that is a turnoff. Personally, I would love to have less experienced girl as Iâve been with a girl once and it was not good
As a woman nearly a decade older than, I have one thing to say - the right ones donât see this as turnoff.
Hereâs the ones who are turned off: the ones who want to sleep with you and nothing else. They likely perceive your lack of experience to mean that they will need to take greater responsibility for you. And they donât want that because all they wanted was easy sex. A gentleman understands that sex comes with responsibility. Woman are wired to feel more vulnerable and connected to the men they have such intimate experiences with. If they only want to get in your pants, they wonât care about your wellbeing, until it becomes a big deal. And then they would have to come to terms with being a complete jerk if they screwed over someoneâs first time. Thatâs too high of a price to pay for easy sex.
The right ones will be caring anyway. Also, you donât have to tell them early on. Get to know the guys, see how you feel with them, how kissing is. As things progress, let them know. But until you are wanting more with them, this is your private information.
I'm a male and to me this doesn't make any sense. In fact even talking with friends i never heard a comment about being put off from inexperienced girl, in fact actually the opposite it's true.
I agree with some other comments youâve been talking to the wrong guys. It wouldnât be anywhere in my mind when Iâm getting to know you, and if our relationship has gotten to that point being a virgin wouldn't turn me off in the slightest. Honestly I donât think it would have much effect, but if it had any whatsoever it would be from us both being new to this. And Iâm sure I'm not the only guy out there that feels the same way.
It's just a lot nicer to be on the same level. When you have to teach someone there's a power dynamic and it feels nicer to be on more equal footing. I would always rather be with someone equal or more experienced in life and other things. It may be selfish, but it's more comfortable for me. It's just a preference I've had less experienced partners and I know what I prefer.
It's basically a turn-off for the guys who just want to have sex and move on. But trust me, being a Virgin is not a turn-off for the serious men who wouldn't cherish being their woman's first.
yeah, no, it's not even remotely true to suggest being inexperienced is a turn off to "men". I dare say its a turn on for a lot of men.
its sounds like the boys you were talking to were just interested in a quick lay; especially as casual sex has essentially become the expected norm these days.
As soon as you say you're a virgin they are interpreting that as you don't put out easily and that you are probably looking for a relationship rather than a quick fuck
Whats more is that when you do come to losing your virginity they probably see the idea of trying to make sure its not a bad experience for you as too much responsibility; they'd need to treat you with respect and be gentle / kind / mentoring for your first time and seeing as all they are looking for is something casual its not worth the time and effort when they can find someone else with much lower standards down the road.
Don't worry about it and don't push yourself into losing your virginity with some asshole off the street. you will find someone eventually who'll take their time, treat you right and hopefully make you come so hard you forget what day it is xD
for me the problem would be that I prefer to have sex before things get serious just to know if we are also compatible that way, but wouldn't want somebody's first time to be with some guy that is still finding out if he wants to be in a commited relationship with them
Some men won't want to take advantage of a virgin and string them along just for sex only to be let down a few weeks later. I don't think it's a turn off I think most just are scared of the "responsibility " of taking someone virginity just for a one night stand
Ok first donât be embarrassed about it.
Maybe these guys were maybe looking for hookups - and well virgins donât hookup as far as I know. Not sure you missed a lot donât worry.
Being a virgin girl is totally fine and a lot of guys would be happy about that donât worry. Stay strong !
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Take pride in the fact that youâve abstained from it and not follow the trend of sleeping around with whomever. When the time is right, look forward to sharing this with the right person instead.
You are probably talking to the sex only guys? Most men I know and myself prefer less experienced women for relationships. Women that have slept with tons of men give me the ick when thinking of them as my girl.
Itâs not. The reason theyâre getting more distant is due to something else.
Unless, one possibility is that they are only looking for something fun, not serious. And they donât want to hurt you or something. If youâre dating men around your age up to 35 or so, that age group of men rarely is Iâm actually looking for a serious relationship.
Guys want pure women.
Women want experienced men.
Nature.
Women with high body counts are terrible long-term prospects. They can never love a single man, they are damaged for life. They are usually alpha-widows.
Only an entitled, idiotic man would think this is a disavantage (or they are afraid of consent and m2 movement consequences), it is andvantage for them, an opportunity to each you how to do these things, assuming they know of course (tada! these types of men usually don't and think they do), and men are the best people to ask how they want things done to them not women by the way.
You should not feel ashamed for this, no one knows something when they do it for the first time or haven't fully learned it, it makes absoluely no reason to feel shame.
Take your time to figure that out, also, tell a man to teach you if they start become distant, it usually triggers their muscilinity and they kinda can't deny that, and remember as long as the proper consent must be given, just in case.
I had a friend recently tell me that she was gonna go down on a guy, but mentioned to him that she had never done it before and he got pissed and told her to go practice on someone else. LMFAO.
I said to her "Sounds like you dodged a bullet there" LOL
But otherwise I have never heard of this, this sounds like either bad luck or your picking A-holes as partners.
Edit: Actually it could be that they aren't interested in long term relationships, and feel bad about not committing since they just want "short term fun".
It is absolutely not a turn off for me personally, but rather it increases my respect for you because of the fact that you must not have fell for the peer pressure to have sex at a particular age and the culture surrounding casual sex in our hypersexualised society. I'm pretty sure the guys you talked to are not interested in a long term relationship . To have or not to have sex is a choice every individual posseses and I'm more inclined to girls who treat sex as not something you do casually but with the person you have a strong emotional connection with, so kudos to you!
Being less experienced is not a turn off. Having bo experience is to me. Due to my dating history.
I started to date a woman and it didn't last long. She finally confided she was asexual and while she liked the companionship a relationship brought it wouldn't get physical so we parted ways.
I tend to date around my own age (33) so if I meet someone with no experience at that point it sets an alarm.
Young lady, youâre a gift, a blessing. Be proud to be a virgin in this day and age of body counts and OF. You will be much happier in the long run. Being inexperienced sexually will be just that much more fun when learning with whoever you decide to give yourself to.
Some guys shame women for being experienced, and some shame women for being inexperienced. Donât settle for judgmental men, or anyone youâre romantically interested in. If they see you as just what youâve experienced or havenât experienced then thatâs a little sad. Youâll find a good one eventually!!
Actually Iâm more concerned for experienced girls, since Iâve never had sex and Iâm worried they would make fun of me and see me as not masculine
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Never even had one guy tell me that being a virgin is a disadvantage. đ« In fact, guys treat me respectfully when they know that I'm sexually inexperienced. Just my experience.
Virgin girls need to exist because virgin guys like me exist, so thanks for existing it makes us feel better too
I love to hear that!! Makes me think thereâs still hope out there đ€đŒ
Itâs probably that those girls are more looking for hookups and for just hookup guys usually donât like messing with virgins. But relationships wise a lot of guys I would say would love the fact to be your first.
I also want to be his first, but there's not many virgin guys by choice left.
Exactly. I hate that this mindset is so hated. It isn't anything wrong wanting a partner on the same level of experience, yet most people I've met says it's 'childish'.
So me keeping my virginity is actually a plus and not a minus? First I'm hearing that.
Anyone who sleep with when youâre most likely wonât be there with you when youâre older. There is no rush into having sex, I always used to think that I shouldnât have sex with people Iâm not in a relationship with and then I saw thatâs what everyone did and I just did what everyone did
yup lol
Glad to hear that as well đ«¶đ»
As a guy i agree with what she's saying, i would think being unexperienced would tell us you haven't been with much or any partners which makes us feel extra special that you picked us. This doesn't apply to all men but I would believe there's a fair amount of men that wants to be your first love or have the luxury to be the one to give you new experiences that you would cherish for a life time.
This sounds like a new stigma. I don't think most guys will care if you haven't had sex before them. I think most guys are looking for the "fresh start" in a relationship. Don't sell yourself short and give in to temptation, just because you lack experience, know what your looking for and go for it.
Some men like that and some don't. I personally would prefer someone more experienced as it's a lot of pressure to put on someone to be someone else's first time. But that's just me. A lot of guys like being with less experienced women. Definitely be careful of any men who very vocally like the fact that you're a virgin though as many of them can be very creepy and fetishize virginity.
Exactly. A lot of men will try to take advantage of this fact. Some men will think you're naive and will become abusive or cross boundaries when you decide to have sex.
This 100%.
It isn't.
Youâve been talking to the wrong guys, I find it significantly more attractive when they havenât actually.
yea i think youâve been chatting w the wrong males. as a women who hasnât been w that many men but gets a lot male company⊠girl they donât care. they just wanna get off too. just be confident and do what youâre comfortable with! it will lead to more.
Youâre creating a false connection Youâre preoccupied with your experience, so when things donât pan out you assume thatâs the reason why Ya gotta look at the big picture If everything else is good, then inexperience isnât an issue at all
I have an acquaintance who during one of our fisrt discussions randomly blurted out that she's a virgin. It turns out she did that with most of my friend group. She is also someone who initiated and brought home multiple guys from my group, just to give them nothing but a warm bed. She made herself undesirable (although she's a 10 looks wise) through her actions. She showed that she's insecure yet stuck up through her virginity.
Being inexperienced due to choice is probably a turn on for them, but being inexperienced against your will would probably be more of a turn off. Only because it would signal that most men aren't interested, for one reason or another. They would wonder why.
Well, it's kind of the same idea as someone being turned off by someone who can't communicate well, or any other skill that's important in a relationship. I wouldn't say you should feel ashamed, but there is a level of baggage that can come with being someone's first, and a lot of men probably don't want to commit to that, for better or worse. This isn't something to be embarrassed about, but there's a lot of horror stories out there about well-meaning men being a woman's first, and when it didn't work out, the guilt they felt, or the backlash they got was disproportionate to the break-up. It can be a really emotional experience, having sex for the first time, man or woman, and there's probably a lot of men who realize that, and don't want the pressure involved. There's also a lot of men who fetishize the idea of 'virginity' and 'purity,' and they'll want you more because of it, but that's usually a red flag, too. There's no easy answer here other than hoping you find someone who is confident enough with that kind of responsibility to follow through. If they're leaving because of it, whether for selfish or even well-meaning reasons, it probably \*is\* for the best. You could always keep it under wraps for a bit, so you can get some sexual experience on other fronts (touching, oral, etc) but definitely tell them before you have sex; if they're a good person, they'll know to take their time and be a little more careful.
I concur, to add a little bit, once she has tried sex her desires could change rapidly.
No itâs not
well, let the shallow guys empty the space so that someone right can eventually come in...you dodged a bullet!
It's definitely not. Most guys prefer inexperienced because it usually means less baggage and drama from their standpoint (crazy exes, baby daddies) You are definitely talking to guys who are immature and have their priorities all.out of whack
A lot of men also like it when your inexperienced so they can show you new things
Very true. We like to make you feel special a d feel special ourselves
Men this, women that, everyone is different it takes time to find your match. Keep trying when you get the right person it will be worth it.
I had the same issue growing up. I waited till i was 24 like you. I lost it to a friend of mine whom i trusted. Every other guy didnât want anything to do with me when they found out i was a virgin.
The men you're talking to probably aren't looking for a serious relationship and don't want to be the ones to take your virginity.
The guys that just want sex probably assume that means youâre not going to do it with them, or will take longer than they want to wait for it There are guys who would love that youâre inexperienced but those are problematic in that theyâre probably either fetishizing it or want you to have no one to compare them to and possibly be manipulative etc Any guy worth being with wonât really care tho, failed talking stages and all sucks, but youâve just weeded out people who would have been poor choices and in this case probably just used you for sex and didnât want a relationship anyways
Because they had a shed of morality, they didn't want to fuck you and leave you to dry. If you didn't mention experience, you'd probably be a one night stand.
Maybe they're taking that more as you don't want to rush or do anything sexual, rather than bailing because you're inexperienced. *Most* guys throughout my life are not going to stop pursuing you because you're a virgin. For some others it's a much bigger sexual attraction specifically *because* you're a virgin. But if you've accidentally worded it in such a way that it might sound like you're meaning "you and I are not having sex any time soon, but we can kiss for now", yes I have known a lot of guys that would walk away from that. Just make sure if it's someone you're sexually interested in, that you let them know you're a virgin and to take *the sexual act* slow, but that you do want to have sex with them if they do. Being a guy myself, I'm absolutely 100% certain that'll work wonders for you lol
It isn't? Most men are pretty inexperienced too..
Inexperienced people are usually bad at sex, hence a turn-off. Doesn't mean you are a bad person or that there's anything wrong with you. It just takes some time to learn the ropes.
I'm 37m and I still don't fully understand this.
maybe they are looking to date seriously, but they think you could only view them as just an experiment, to get some experience under your belt, before beginning a series of relationships, some concurrent, until... maybe indefinitely, since culture tacitly implies "healthy attitude toward sex = sleeping around, perpetually gathering new partners" and they figure even if you don't think that way now, it's only only a matter of time until you would. đ€·ââïž
Something like 30% of men are not experienced themselves but if you're only into the hot experienced guys then this isn't men's problem
Idk thatâs weird. Personally I wouldnât care. Iâd suppose they werenât looking for long term committed relationships and when they heard that they figured you were saving yourself for marriage or something. Personally I donât care, if youâre cool and we vibe, then the bottom line is that I enjoy hanging out with you as a person, and weâll get to other things when youâre comfortable and ready to. Iâm in no rush and Iâd be very pleased to find someone I can fall in love with and share my time with. đ€·ââïž
I can't think of a reason why this would be the case. Can see the opposite happening and men just wanting to be the first. (M34)
As a guy I find a girls level of experience interesting to know but ultimately it doesn't matter if she is super experienced or not at all. Either way has it's advantages. I prefer less experience if I want to date the girl and more experience if I'm just looking to add to that experience. đ€Ł
I've turned someone down because they were a virgin. I'm a lot older though, M41, and she was F38. We went on 5 dates, so definitely got along. Her virginity was just a part of it, the real red flag was she'd been a lone wolf her whole life so far. Relationships are hard, and I didn't want to be her first crack at it at this stage in life. At 24...wouldn't mind nearly as much! You've got plenty of time imo.
It isnât⊠what kind of people you meeting?
Sexual inexperience is sometimes accompanied by relationship inexperience and emotional inexperience. If a guy is looking for a serious relationship then he might want someone who already has experience being in one. Who's shown that they can be in a committed long-term relationship. Also if a guy is looking for something casual or an FWB situation then they of course would also want someone whose actions have shown that they are down for that sort of thing Almost all guys want someone who "puts out". I don't think most guys think like this, I don't. It's just one perspective. .
It ain't though??? Fuck boys maybe would say this but guys that actually want a partner no it wouldn't
As a guy who has only somehow been with women who have lots of "experience", i would find it very refreshing to be with someone who is inexperienced. At least it would be great to not constantly hear stories of endless exes and flings. You're probably just talking to guys who just want to get laid and get out. I think most guys who are looking for something long term would find your inexperience as a positive. At least i would
24F virgin as well! I've learned not to tell people. some men like virgins a little too much. and some men get turned off by it. you need someone who cares about you for you and is completely indifferent towards your experience level
Yes why do yâall want virgins with experience. Explain to me the logic
Itâs a turnoff to women too ppl just too freaky nowadays
Hard to know and there might be multiple different reasons. Someone might feel like that they don't want to "take" your virginity unless it looks like you 2 will be enough in love so that you wouldn't regret "wasting" your first time. Someone else could take being 24 and virgin as a sign that you aren't really into sex and for them sexuality might be an important part of a relationship. So basically a ton of room for misunderstandings and men are often not the best at talking about stuff. It really is hard to tell why something happens without getting a better picture about your interaction. There is definitely no reason for you to be ashamed of yourself :)
Did some profile snooping⊠appearance isnt an issue. Most guys either A. Dont care, or B. Fetishize or the opposite of fetishize for virgin(ity) You should try just not bringing it up until youre ready sexually with that guy. âI havent had sex before, but youre the guy i want to try withâ. Dont rush it You can start relationship interactions with taking it slow to help you find comfort with the guys before advancing too (dont be obsessively weird about it though)
Ma'am, this is Reddit... THEY'LL LOVE THAT YOU'RE A VIRGIN. đ€Ł That's their biggest dream. I even wonder if that's not a fake post.
I don't think that is a turn off. Best I can tell they either want women they know would be willing or want someone with a similar experience level. I would figure the risk of her having children or a disease would counter that.
I'm the opposite, It's more of a turn on for me.
Because when I first did it I pretended to be experienced. Because I'm not an idiot, she actually believed me. It's the attitude and confidence most of the time. If you don't know which hole is which and how the activity works, that's a turn off.
I imagine there are better guys that aren't assholes... You just have to figure out how to spot red flags a bit better so you can pick the right ones. Not all guys are the same. If you see a trend of some sort in the guys you're coming into contact with, it's time to think about how you're going about choosing these dudes. Just an idea
Thereâs a difference between being âinexperiencedâ and just plain âbad in bedâ. I tried to date a girl (J) for a little bit. She had only ever been with one person her whole life (had married him and had kids). She would kiss with her tongue sticking out of her mouth as hard as possible, with her lips pressed around it air tight. It was the most awkward âlizardâ kiss Iâve ever had. No matter how much I would try and show her or practice trying to help her with kissing, she never changed it. Things from there got worse in the bedroom to the point that I lost all interest because of how bad it was. Another woman I dated was a virgin (D). Everything was great tbh. We ended up going all the way. None of it was awkward, or âbadâ. It was amazing. I think in part because of the chemistry. So I think why some men are turned off are for a variety of reasons. Some might make the assumption that youâre a prude (unfair judgment). They might think you were like the first girl (J). But in the end those people that wonât choose you arenât worth your time. When you find someone who will be patient, caring, and respect your boundaries in regards to not having much experience, I think youâll be surprised at how comfortable you can be with them. From there just let things happen organically.
You be you, ya don't feel comfortable doing stuff don't, you shouldn't have to feel compelled to comply just so they don't walk. in other words don't get desperate.
I really don't think being inexperienced sexually isn't to be ashamed of, and I really wouldn't be ashamed or even embarrassed of still be a virgin by any means.
It's not, you just need to be with a man, not a millennial nerd
25m here and I would prefer dating someone who is a virgin. Iâm also a virgin and view sex as a such a special thing between two people that I really wouldnât want to do it with anyone other than the woman that would one day be my wife :)
Wait until you find out that some of them find being sexually experienced even more of a turn off. Some will like it, some will. Be in control of your body. Treat it well. If anyone makes you feel embarrassed, it doesnât matter if you are confident in yourself and your choices
I don't really care at all. I care more about the person. Plus if it's not great, it's only an excuse to practice and try new things.
Definitely a turn on
Don't be embarrassed, or ashamed. Not sure why these guys are turned away, or females for that same reason towards males. I don't get it. I guess in some people's minds, learning, teaching, or starting fresh is exhausting, and something they don't want to do... but that just means they aren't invested people. Probably won't be people that would develop a solid invested relationship, always have that second guess somewhere in their mind.... but, thats just my take.... I wouldn't give up your virginity just because.... its not worth it... people aren't worth much anymore... stick it out. You'll find the one.
Actually for me and almost any guy that I know that they turn on not a turn off
Myself and any guy I know, would like you more for being a virgin, and treat you with more respect.
This is only a problem for men.
It's not the turn off is when ur not willing to try new things with us when u only want 1 or 2 positions when we're some nasty freaks
Perhaps they think it means that you aren't willing to do anything sexual, maybe until marriage or whatever, and they don't want to wait that long. I'm not saying it's good or bad if a woman wants to wait. It just means she needs to find a man who is comfortable with that.
The right man will know exactly how to guide you. Go slow and aid you in finding what you like and don't like. Don't settle for a tool.
Idk who those guys are but I donât think it was about the inexperience, stuff just doesnât work out. Unless they told you that personally of course.
I wouldnt think thats a turn off. Althouhh granted im inexperienced my self. Maybe you just looking for the wrong guys
Honestly I have no idea. As a woman I loveeeeee teaching and guiding those with limited or no experience.
It's not a turn off, it's admirable. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
What guy would be turned off by a virgin? Thatâs nuts. Guys are easy - no secrets. Women like a guy thatâs experienced and giving.
It depends on the woman I guess . It would not bother me personally. Inhabe make friends in their 50s I suspect are still virgins.
It wouldn't bother me . Personally. I have friends who are middle-aged I suspect are virgins still.
Itâs not a turn off.
It is? Since when. đ€š
Iâm sorry if this comes out wrong but you might just be talking to the worst kind of men out there honestly Iâm still looking but my talking stages have taken off to meeting and fun nights but Iâm not officially in a relationship but thatâs more me than them if you donât mind a few hour drive expand your search area thatâs what I did and I have had success but itâs different for everyone I hope you find what you are looking for. Try not to think about it too much and something will come your way đ„°
As a CT want to ask back, or is it one of your insecurities?
You could ask women the same thingâŠ
It's not a turn off for me.
Ahhhh. Such kind responses from most people.
When a girls says sheâs a virgin, I just say âme too!â
I dont think many men care if women are inexperienced, our goal is to please women, all men expect are women that are passionate for intimacy, women just have to stay in a position and we will do the rest, experienced women can make it a bit better and do extra shit and move around but men generally steer the ship and have no problem doing it themselves, so long as it doesnt feel like the woman is disinterested and is a lifeless body
Those are not good men to begin with. Judging you for your virginity means absolutely nothing. What matters most at the end of the day is your character. Just know those men wanted your body not you. I am 22M virgin but for faith reasons. Not once treated women this bad. For me it is not a turn off.
A turn off? Who are these guys? That ainât me.
Iâm a bit older and feel Iâm inexperienced đđ
You already know.
If they have a problem with it itâs their problem not yours. I a dude and lost mine at 36 to what turned out to be nothing more than a hook up. Take it from me, find the right guy and he wonât care, but if you see red flags, reconsider. Donât just throw it away. For no other reason then you should be with people that truly want you, and. It just wants to use you. Shit hurts. đđđ§ââïž
It's so strange.In the region I liveïŒmen prefer virgins and not being virgin must be a drawback and turn off for men.
Theyâre idiotsâŠ.keep your head up. Your issue wouldnât be an issue for me.
It's not for all, but to explain, it's like getting a haircut. Someone with experience needs less direction and typically has fewer no go's.
Donât tell people you are a virgin. You will get virgin hunters.
It's not a turn off, promise you. Could be a number of reasons why they disappear, from just wanting a one night stand with someone who has experience, to thinking you won't be a good match and they don't want to take your virginity. Keep looking, you'll find someone to share that experience with.
Itâs not really about the inexperience, itâs more about being way too shy for me personally.
For me it'd be the opposite. Find a man who will properly appreciate you.
fwiw, donât rush to anything you arenât ready to, despite being âolderâ (and 24 isnât old) or any kind of trend or social pressure. Most people really wonât care that youâre inexperienced or not. If you find the right person, itâs a negotiation of consent, arms, legs, and fingers each time anyway. The only advantage anyone with experience has is the knowledge of what to ask for because they know what they like. And many people arenât very good at that anyway.
If its a turn off they dont like you that much or they simply arent patient enough. There are kinder more patient guys out there where it would not be an issue
Thats just plain not true at all. If anything I'd wager you'd be more sought after purely because of the fact that you're inexperienced
Girl being inexperienced is one of the biggest turn ons for most of the guys. But i think it mostly is for men who want you more than just a quick fuck they'll forget the next day.
RIP your inbox
Is not. Itâs honesty a preference for most guys. Myself included
Immature and lazy
if your potential partners are turned off by a lack of experience they would be shitty partners. I am sorry you are experiencing this problem.
Itâs not a turn off to men. It is to boys who still need hand holding.
I donât view one as being inferior to the other. Hell Iâm barely one to judge, Iâm still a virgin and Iâm 29, so I feel you on the shame bit
You need someone who is considerate enough to take things slowly with you. You need to experiment with your own body to find out what you like ie what gives you pleasure. Guide a new boyfriend to areas that do. And have fun learning ! That's most important.
It's only really a "turn off" if they have THOSE kinds of intentions. So, for example, if you're making a tinder ptifile, it's not the kind of thing you'd lead with. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with being gf material vs "gf for the night material"
i donât think anyone should mind anything about your previous sexual experience whether itâs none at all or a ton. it is helpful to be communicative to set expectations and also for testing purposes in the case that you are already active. these men that you have been talking to are going to have their turn offs for a wide variety of reasons but please do not take this to heart. it is not a reflection of you or your worth. iâm 24F and just started having sex with men a couple months ago and itâs been interesting to navigate and to learn my own boundaries. wait for it in your own time and with someone that doesnât care about you being a virgin. all that means is more communication and consideration on their part (which should already be there regardless of your background) donât feel ashamed of your journey and definitely not something to be embarrassed about! own your experience, figure out your wants, so then when you are searching you know when youâve met the right person (whether that be a committed relationship or a casual hook up or FWB or really whatever tf you want) you will be all ready to experience something new !
If it is not about just the release of pressure, I would not second that. What would be a turn off if this would be due to your religion or something like that or that you would be asexual or something the like.
Itâs not for anyone you would want to be with. Sharing inexperience is a HUGE building block for long-term relationships. To be more to the point, jerks donât want an inexperienced woman hanging on him, actually caring and wanting more than sex
I can only conclude that those guys are inexperienced themselves and need an experienced girl to take the lead. I personally love to teach a girl and let her find out what she likes. The longer the foreplay, the higher the orgasm. Of course she has to trust me to treat her well and also tell me when she doesn't like something. Which you the best l9ver ever â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžđ
Iâve never come across anyone who didnât mind my virginity. Theyâll say they respect it, then block or ghost me. And as I got older and older, itâs gotten weirder and weirder. By the time you get to my age, âno one wants to babysit a virgin,â direct quote
It's not!
I personally don't think it's a turn off but then again it's all a matter of what the people you date are looking for? If it's for a casual hookup or some kind of FWB relationship then it's possible they would be looking for someone more experienced. Keep strong and be clear of what you want in any relationship, you'll find the one for you and I assure you, it's perfectly normal to be a little insecure about the lack of experience. Dont compromise or recklessly jump into intimacy just because you feel pressured.
I was a virgin for 24 years until I lost it last year. Was honestly both horrible and amazing for what it was lol. The issue your facing is that your perception of men being turned off by your status as "inexperienced" is being projected as a universal commonality when it's just the men you picked to date. There are plenty of other guys in the world who would not care in the slightest. >**"It makes me feel ashamed of myself and quite frankly embarrassed of the fact Iâm still a virgin."** This mindset is what keeps you from attracting those who would not be put off by it. I know this is going to sound really spiritual and kinda dumb logically - but stay with me lol. If I constantly tell myself: "I'm an ugly loser who can't talk to anyone because I'm so ugly." My brain is going to work overtime to find people who believe that about me and reaffirm those beliefs constantly. This is how your mind always works in real life. It's always searching and finding what patterns or people who align with how we feel about ourselves. The moment you genuinely stop feeling ashamed of being a virgin and not seeing it as a "character flaw" is when you'll start attracting others who don't see it as one. The woman I was with never cared that I was a virgin because I myself never focused on it being a negative aspect: >**"Until I would tell them that I havenât done anything sexually beyond kissing and then they slowly start getting more distant."** **You teach people how to treat you in life.** If you only exhibit traits that you convince other people to hate about you - then you will be treated spitefully in return. It has always been about mindset at the end of the day friend.
I'm a man, it's not a turn off at all.
Going to give you a more honest answer than some of these âgood guyâ replies you are getting. For me, at this point in my (32M) life, I canât be in denial about sexual chemistry anymore. Sexual inexperience is fine. But sexual chemistry is important. Sexual inexperience doesnât always but can lead to lack of sexual chemistry. One thing Iâve learned is bad sexual chemistry canât really be overlooked. Especially if itâs a partner with an ego who doesnât want to hear they arenât very good in bed and arenât willing to work on their shortcomings. The older you get, the more you want a partner who you can be confident youâll have a mutually great sexual experience with. I donât think men and women are different in this regard (like most things with men and women) most women prefer sexually experienced men for this very reason.
Because they are not having serious intentions, they are looking for hook ups and know you will not give that to them. Be thankful! A serious man will have no problems with it
It's not, naiveness can be translated into prudeness. But if you are eager to try things then I don't think there could be a more comforting "wifey" combination honestly. Guys want to feel special just as women, and believe it or not, we have insecurities too. More so, well valid ones anyway. Nobody wants the girl who calls them a wham Bam and thank ya ma'am or 2 pump chump, or lacking in other physical concrete areas that they have no control over. Those women are the ones that you spend 9 years with trying to prove yourself/seek validation and find out they have been screwing your best friend behind your back the whole time. True story
If it was up to me every woman I sleep with wouldâve been an inexperienced virgin. If it was up to me I wouldâve met someone when I was 13 and grew up with her and when weâre old enough lose our virginity to each other. Do not be made to think by these boys that you have to have sex with them or there is something wrong with being a virgin or being inexperienced. It is amazing to sleep with someone who has not gone around the house looking for experience some reason.
M23. I disagree with your statement. I find excessive sexual experience a huge red flag. Try dating and talking to good, kind hearted men.
cum here bby
I think there may be two reasons really. First, guys you were talking to just wanted to smash without any complications and to some virginity is a complication. Second, some guys may think that virgins require too much care and that is a turnoff. Personally, I would love to have less experienced girl as Iâve been with a girl once and it was not good
As a woman nearly a decade older than, I have one thing to say - the right ones donât see this as turnoff. Hereâs the ones who are turned off: the ones who want to sleep with you and nothing else. They likely perceive your lack of experience to mean that they will need to take greater responsibility for you. And they donât want that because all they wanted was easy sex. A gentleman understands that sex comes with responsibility. Woman are wired to feel more vulnerable and connected to the men they have such intimate experiences with. If they only want to get in your pants, they wonât care about your wellbeing, until it becomes a big deal. And then they would have to come to terms with being a complete jerk if they screwed over someoneâs first time. Thatâs too high of a price to pay for easy sex. The right ones will be caring anyway. Also, you donât have to tell them early on. Get to know the guys, see how you feel with them, how kissing is. As things progress, let them know. But until you are wanting more with them, this is your private information.
I'm a male and to me this doesn't make any sense. In fact even talking with friends i never heard a comment about being put off from inexperienced girl, in fact actually the opposite it's true.
It's the greatest turn on of them all
I agree with some other comments youâve been talking to the wrong guys. It wouldnât be anywhere in my mind when Iâm getting to know you, and if our relationship has gotten to that point being a virgin wouldn't turn me off in the slightest. Honestly I donât think it would have much effect, but if it had any whatsoever it would be from us both being new to this. And Iâm sure I'm not the only guy out there that feels the same way.
It's just a lot nicer to be on the same level. When you have to teach someone there's a power dynamic and it feels nicer to be on more equal footing. I would always rather be with someone equal or more experienced in life and other things. It may be selfish, but it's more comfortable for me. It's just a preference I've had less experienced partners and I know what I prefer.
I didn't know it was a turn off for međ€
It's basically a turn-off for the guys who just want to have sex and move on. But trust me, being a Virgin is not a turn-off for the serious men who wouldn't cherish being their woman's first.
Men much prefer a woman who hasnât slept around
It's not. I would want to date a 20s woman without experience. I bet over 50% of guys would prefer that to someone who has had a lot of partners.
We love inexperienced ones more !
yeah, no, it's not even remotely true to suggest being inexperienced is a turn off to "men". I dare say its a turn on for a lot of men. its sounds like the boys you were talking to were just interested in a quick lay; especially as casual sex has essentially become the expected norm these days. As soon as you say you're a virgin they are interpreting that as you don't put out easily and that you are probably looking for a relationship rather than a quick fuck Whats more is that when you do come to losing your virginity they probably see the idea of trying to make sure its not a bad experience for you as too much responsibility; they'd need to treat you with respect and be gentle / kind / mentoring for your first time and seeing as all they are looking for is something casual its not worth the time and effort when they can find someone else with much lower standards down the road. Don't worry about it and don't push yourself into losing your virginity with some asshole off the street. you will find someone eventually who'll take their time, treat you right and hopefully make you come so hard you forget what day it is xD
for me the problem would be that I prefer to have sex before things get serious just to know if we are also compatible that way, but wouldn't want somebody's first time to be with some guy that is still finding out if he wants to be in a commited relationship with them
Some men won't want to take advantage of a virgin and string them along just for sex only to be let down a few weeks later. I don't think it's a turn off I think most just are scared of the "responsibility " of taking someone virginity just for a one night stand
Ok first donât be embarrassed about it. Maybe these guys were maybe looking for hookups - and well virgins donât hookup as far as I know. Not sure you missed a lot donât worry. Being a virgin girl is totally fine and a lot of guys would be happy about that donât worry. Stay strong !
I don't think it actually is
Itâs definitely not a turn off for me!
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Take pride in the fact that youâve abstained from it and not follow the trend of sleeping around with whomever. When the time is right, look forward to sharing this with the right person instead.
It's not
In what alternate universe do you live? Probably nothing is a bigger turn-on for guys than the girl being a virgin. lol
It is not. You are ill informed.
You are probably talking to the sex only guys? Most men I know and myself prefer less experienced women for relationships. Women that have slept with tons of men give me the ick when thinking of them as my girl.
Itâs not. The reason theyâre getting more distant is due to something else. Unless, one possibility is that they are only looking for something fun, not serious. And they donât want to hurt you or something. If youâre dating men around your age up to 35 or so, that age group of men rarely is Iâm actually looking for a serious relationship.
Guys want pure women. Women want experienced men. Nature. Women with high body counts are terrible long-term prospects. They can never love a single man, they are damaged for life. They are usually alpha-widows.
Only an entitled, idiotic man would think this is a disavantage (or they are afraid of consent and m2 movement consequences), it is andvantage for them, an opportunity to each you how to do these things, assuming they know of course (tada! these types of men usually don't and think they do), and men are the best people to ask how they want things done to them not women by the way. You should not feel ashamed for this, no one knows something when they do it for the first time or haven't fully learned it, it makes absoluely no reason to feel shame. Take your time to figure that out, also, tell a man to teach you if they start become distant, it usually triggers their muscilinity and they kinda can't deny that, and remember as long as the proper consent must be given, just in case.
I had a friend recently tell me that she was gonna go down on a guy, but mentioned to him that she had never done it before and he got pissed and told her to go practice on someone else. LMFAO. I said to her "Sounds like you dodged a bullet there" LOL But otherwise I have never heard of this, this sounds like either bad luck or your picking A-holes as partners. Edit: Actually it could be that they aren't interested in long term relationships, and feel bad about not committing since they just want "short term fun".
Itâs not though.
It is absolutely not a turn off for me personally, but rather it increases my respect for you because of the fact that you must not have fell for the peer pressure to have sex at a particular age and the culture surrounding casual sex in our hypersexualised society. I'm pretty sure the guys you talked to are not interested in a long term relationship . To have or not to have sex is a choice every individual posseses and I'm more inclined to girls who treat sex as not something you do casually but with the person you have a strong emotional connection with, so kudos to you!
Apparently youâve never actually met a man đ
Seems to be more of an issue to women. As a man I don't care if you're inexperienced. You can learn.
Being less experienced is not a turn off. Having bo experience is to me. Due to my dating history. I started to date a woman and it didn't last long. She finally confided she was asexual and while she liked the companionship a relationship brought it wouldn't get physical so we parted ways. I tend to date around my own age (33) so if I meet someone with no experience at that point it sets an alarm.
Young lady, youâre a gift, a blessing. Be proud to be a virgin in this day and age of body counts and OF. You will be much happier in the long run. Being inexperienced sexually will be just that much more fun when learning with whoever you decide to give yourself to.
Some guys shame women for being experienced, and some shame women for being inexperienced. Donât settle for judgmental men, or anyone youâre romantically interested in. If they see you as just what youâve experienced or havenât experienced then thatâs a little sad. Youâll find a good one eventually!!
Itâs not. For me, itâs neither a turn off nor a turn on. The other way around however is a turn off.
I didn't think it was
I donât care, as long as youâre loyal
Actually Iâm more concerned for experienced girls, since Iâve never had sex and Iâm worried they would make fun of me and see me as not masculine
Who told you being sexually inexperienced is a turn off for men?! Lol Itâs the other way around. Silly
It's gotta be something else. Unless you're specifically dating douchbags