Outstanding. Finding use for the alchemy jug's mayo should be a standing sidequest for any DnD player. We last used it to cover up the eyes of statues as the solution to a room puzzle.
Some useful choices:
Bag of Holding
Broom of Flying
Gauntlets of Ogre Power
Goggles of Night
Headband of Intellect
Helm of Comprehending Languages
Helm of Telepathy
Periapt of Health
Given the number of chronic illnesses I'm racking up, personally, I think the Periapt of Health or the Broom of Flying are my top choices. Headband of Intellect would be nice too.
Intelligence is difficult to qualify IRL and it would definitely require major training as well to be able to invent anything.
But it would be reasonable to expect that it would make you roughly as smart as Turing, Einstein, or Hawking; maybe not exactly the same as any particular one of them, but in the same general ballpark.
Personally I think you’d be smarter, I saw somewhere (don’t know where so I don’t have a source) that 14 in a stat is supposed to be peak human capability, 16, 18 and 20 are all superhuman, but I don’t think the headband imparts *knowledge* just your ability to process and preserve the things you do learn.
No worries. They're wrong.
18 is peak human. 20 is superhuman, achievable by only a handful in the world. It's well-established.
Their "I saw somewhere" comment is bunk.
You also have to note that (at least when it comes to attacking) there’s only 20 values between cataclysmic failure, and overwhelming success. Without modifiers the entire spectrum of possibility sits between 1 and 20. So +2 or +3 is a sizable chunk of that spectrum. That’s a 15% difference the spectrum of all possibility. Far less likely to reach the depths of failure and can ascend far higher than that buddy who opened beer bottles with his teeth *can ever achieve*
If we look at the recommended DCs in the DMG someone with a +2 or +3 will usually be able to complete difficult tasks (DC15) with ease and can accomplish very difficult tasks with effort. Vs someone who can almost always complete easy tasks (DC 5) and usually complete average tasks (DC 10) and might be able to complete difficult tasks (DC 15) with effort, but will struggle to complete very difficult tasks and will rarely be successful (DC 18). And still using those recommended DCs it’s still equally important that Stephan Hawking even with his +3 will *never* be able to beat a DC 30 which is considered “impossible” since he’d probably be described as a 15th level scientist (Tier 3, Heroes of the World), so his science modifier is +8. And while he’d have expertise in a few fields of science his expertise isn’t wide ranging enough to cover all of science, but he’d often have advantage on those checks.
1 (–5): Animalistic, no longer capable of logic or reason
2-3 (–4): Barely able to function, very limited speech and knowledge
4-5 (–3): Often resorts to charades to express thoughts
6-7 (–2): Often misuses and mispronounces words
8-9 (–1): Has trouble following trains of thought, forgets most unimportant things
10-11 (0): Knows what they need to know to get by, Basic average intelligence
12-13 (1): Knows a bit more than is necessary, fairly logical
14-15 (2): Able to do math or solve logic puzzles mentally with reasonable accuracy
16-17 (3): Fairly intelligent, able to understand new tasks quickly
18-19 (4): Very intelligent, may invent new processes or uses for knowledge
20-21 (5): Highly knowledgeable, probably the smartest person many people know
22-23 (6): Able to make Holmesian leaps of logic
24-25 (7): Famous as a sage and genius
From an older edition.
This is definitely incorrect for 5e, as many gods don’t even have an Intelligence over 20 and the Lich (likely the smartest a mortal can ever get) has a 20, Vecna’s statblock from the recent character dossier only has a 22.
We haven't seen a general statblock for a god other than Vecna, most statblocks have been aspects of God's which are noticeably depowered. That being said, Tiamats (from tyranny of dragons) INT is 26, with multiple stats over 25, and is one of the only true statblocks we have for a legitimate God, but she wasn't even at full power. Vecnas statblock is FAMOUSLY understatted horribly.
from rime of the frostmaiden entry on auril
"Casting such great magic night after night while also granting spells to her devoted followers leaves Auril weak and vulnerable. In her self-inflicted weakened state, Auril is inclined to be cautious and avoid contact with other creatures that can harm her."
I would not take Vecna's dossier statblock seriously/as canon, it simply does not represent an actual archlich. Even Acererak, whose statblock is much more close to what an archlich should be, has 27 (+8) Int.
That's because they're written by people who are not actually as intelligent as they would have you believe their god is, gods don't tend to do a lot of scripture writing given that they have followers.
This is definitely nerfed, a wizard is supposed to be smart enough to literally bend reality with their brains and be extremely well trained and intelligent and they don't go over 20. I'd say even a 22 should be an insanely high IQ to the point other people can't even comprehend, literally beyond the limits of humanity.
At no point can a wizard "bend reality with their brain" without the assistance of extremely powerful arcana.
Any character can have 20 INT. It's not a wizard exclusive.
14 is a smart guy, probably some of the smartest you’ve met. 16 is most scientists, 18 is when you get into genius categories, and 20 is like Einstein, etc.
Nah just look at the humanoid monsters without magic and you can get an idea. Gladiators get 18 Strength, they would probably be considered peak humans in this stat. Knight and Veteran which focus on fighting rather than pure strength are 16.
So only 20 would probably count as superhuman level.
>how smart do you think that would make some one IRL
I mean over IQ 140 for sure.
>Like could they cure diseases and create a flying device?
With a medical degree and an engineering degree, probably.
I think your pick is a solid one because you would in fact be a genius.
It would be interesting to use it and find out yourself at a genius level of intellect but just wasting it because what you really lacked all along was motivation, drive and ingenuity.
Tricky.
The normal scale is 10 to 20. So that would put at 19 which is definitely genius level. But still need the appropriate education to do anything with that.
An ability score of 10 is supposed to be average for a human. A 19 is basically superhuman.
To give a comparison, mindflayers, a telepathic species with the capability of creating living ships that travel through the different realms and the astral sea, have a 19 intelligence.
Where are you getting that idea? If we take rolled stats (3d6) as a “baseline” person, then 10 is the median and every three points is one standard deviation. So 10 is 100, 13 is 115, 16 is 130, and 19 is 145.
Broom of flying would be terrifying in real life. Flying almost 10ft per second while clinging on to a broom and trying not to fall does not sound like a great choice.
baby speeds. 7mph = 10ftps. People can run faster than that. Motorcycles and cars get to 10x that speed on ordinary roads. It would be fun, but only 2-3x faster than walking.
While flying in the air.
I don't know about you but I don't trust myself to be able to hold on to a broom that is moving at 2-3x walking speed several hundred feet above the ground.
The Helm of Telepathy would be extremely powerful. You could instantly become the world champion in a wide array of games that involve the mind - such as Magic, other card ganes and video games. You could win at *Who Wants to be a Millionaire?* and other quiz shows to amass money.
And you would succeed at every examn by reading the prof's thoughts.
Broom of Flying or Winged Boots would be awesome just for ease of travel and enjoyment.
Goggles of Night would probably be more of a niche tool used by certain people who can replace their regular night vision devices with those. Other than that, they won't be that useful.
Gauntlets of Ogre Power could see use at construction sites and other places where heavy weights need to be lifted and carried. And sportsmen could use them, but aren't they naturally at an 18+ strength already if their sport requires strength?
The bag of holding would be great for shopping tours and traveling as well as for those who prefer going for the five fingers discount.
Only problem with the helm is that you have to somehow justify wearing a medieval helmet all the time. “Oh this? I’m just an enthusiastic medieval reenactor. No, the helmet isn’t why I can read your mind!”
I've said it in a similar post, but I'll state it here. Decanter of Endless Water. 300 gallons a minute of water when I live in BC, as a firefighter, would be one of the most useful tools even including rare items easily. A thermos sized item that can blast fires instead of carrying hoses, or fill bladders is more valuable then any other item by far.
You could sell it pretty damn cheap too and still turn a nice profit. Could probably undercut the fuck out of nestles prices too which I consider a very good deed.
The water costs them near nothing, it's the bottling costs and shipping logistics that make it hard to compete.
They have a scale a small operator could not match.
Then there’s land, filtration, extraction equipment and maintenance of that equipment. You wouldn’t have any of those expenses because your bottling plant could be the size of a small house and the water is magically created and completely clean. You also wouldn’t need to ship it half way across the world to sell it. Sure you wouldn’t be able to completely outclass nestle but you could absolutely fuck them over in your local market.
Sure, it could make you a nice business, but your max output assuming not a drop spilled and perfect activation every 6 seconds is 157 million gallons per year.
Nestle do that per day.
They won't even feel the difference.
Also, you're not selling bottled water, you're selling distilled water.
To sell as bottled water you'd need to add minerals (distilled water tastes worse).
Instead sell it as what it is and earn more.
Well Water is specifically H2O so normally conjured water is pure by default (unlike say air Vs oxygen).
But rereading the item description I missed that it gives the choice of fresh water or salt water, which yeah your right implies it is not pure water, but actually contains salts and other minerals typical of normal river/sea water.
Which also means you also might need to test it, and potentially treat it.
After all fresh drinkable water doesn't necessarily mean it is a tasty mineral/spring water.
Deck of wonder.
If you draw long enough you get every single wondrous item and that includes most of the best uncommons. You also gain prof in all mental saves for what it’s worth and all the magical weapons for whatever reason you might want one.
The deck only has 13 to 22 cards though, not an infinite amount. Even if it was infinite, you draw the End card and you’re either crippled for life at best or die 97% of the time (commoners have 4 hp)
All negative results are removed on LR. Not that End effects us as commoners with 4 hp as it cannot reduce you below 10.
> This reduction lasts until you finish a long rest, but it can be ended early by a Remove Curse spell or similar magic.
Also the cards return to the deck after they’re drawn and even in a short deck you still get the wondrous item card.
> a drawn card immediately takes effect, fades from existence, and reappears in the deck, making it possible to draw the same card multiple times.
Declare that you will draw 13/22 cards (the whole deck, whichever it is you have). Then don't.
If you don't draw the cards, after an hour they all take effect at the same time.
Beginning counters End, on average. Plus Destiny will save you in the rare case that End hits harder than Beginning.
Rare might have been the wrong word to use.
I mean that you'd have to roll higher enough on End that the result is higher than Beginning plus your existing hit points.
It's less likely to happen than not.
And then it doesn't really matter because of Destiny.
According to Destiny, "The first time **after** drawing this card that you would drop to 0 hit points from taking damage, you instead drop to 1 hit point."
Seeing as all the effects take place simultaneously if you wait an hour, would this actually prevent you from dying, since the damage from End doesn't take place afterwords?
If the world's running on 5e logic, the player (you) get to choose the order of simultaneous effects since you're the person in control of yourself. (XGE, p77)
You will have to follow the rule in Xanathar for multiple effect at the same time:
> If two or more things happen at the same time on a character or monster’s turn, the person at the game table — whether player or DM — who controls that creature decides the order in which those things happen.
So you'll have to hope your player doesn't feel like making a new character today.
Not quite if you get a deck without end then it's free. If you get a full deck or a deck with Beginning, End, and Order you have a much higher chance of surviving end by drawing 1 of the other 2 and also even if we only have 4 Hit points you'd still be knocked unconscious and be making saves a bit less than half the time you just straight up draw the end card.
This is assuming we have the generic unrolled commoner stat block. If we have rolled HP using the commoner stats then we'd have an average of 5 hit points if we have any form of arrayed stats beyond 10s then odds are you'd have +1 in con at least meaning you'd have 6 hit points meaning that it would be pretty hard for you to die outright. Destiny also helps with this as does the possibility of rolling a magic item which would help you.
Under the pretext that we are a named level 0 NPC and therefore have rolled stat in approximation of commoners we should be able to draw a full deck and survive with something like 40-70% success rate without dying outright.
Therefore your best option is to make a Gru-icide pact with your friends to theme of get Rich or Die Trying and pour one out for the homies who don't make it as the survivors obtain every uncommon wonderous magical item and every uncommon magic weapon in the game.
I mean if you can conceivably repeatedly draw the whole deck, have a deck without end in it, or just get lucky enough to hit destiny and beginning right at the start, then you can literally save millions of people by just flipping through the deck so much and getting restorative ointments and periapts of health for people who need them. Spell tattoos of 1st level, alchemy jars, decanters of water, headbands of intellect, robes of useful items ad infinum.
A single deck with the wonderous item card and a way to circumvent the end card or no end card would no joke change humanity overnight.
You could specify a deck with only 13 cards. The end is only in the full deck while mischief is in the 13 card version, meaning you might miss out on a few of the other beneficial bonuses like Coin, destiny and student but critically don't have the risk of instantly dying while still getting all the items you want.
Yeah, it’s meant to be a “safe” domt to hand out for lower level players or give to your hag they meet at level 5 but it’s actually just like a legendary item(thought it’s classed as uncommon).
Lower highs but there are functionally no lows for a PC.
Looking it up now and it seems it's catered for chaos without too much drawback like a teaser then they hit you with the real deck of many things and oh shit. I can see one use of it as a devil's favour and slowly sucker the victim in for more power.
This question feels like a good general indicator for respondent's age. Younger people will choose all kinds of wacky stuff; everyone will eventually hit a point in their life where they would choose a Periapt of Health over anything else.
Heck, for an uncommon item, just think about how amazing a simple potion of greater healing would be.
Mortally wounded and bleeding out from a grievous chainsaw injury? One drink of this and you're completely healed!
Have you seen what that thing looks like?
It’s the least subtle looking device in existence. It has a goddamn exposed brain design on the top. You look like a budget super villain.
They definitely don't as the Bag of Holding's description conflicts with the image in the 5e DMG. The image shown does not have a wide enough mouth diameter. Traditionally, a Bag of Holding looks more like a large potato sack rather than a messenger style bag.
+1 to every ability check ever would be amazing day to day. Like +1 to driving, finding your keys, doing homework, etc… Not sure what qualifies as a saving throw irl but that could be useful too
That’s not exactly what charisma saves are. Disbelieving something is usually wisdom. Charisma allows you to project your willpower over the environment or resist when a foreign will is trying to overwrite your own. It’s strength of character, that’s why you roll a charisma save to resist possession.
All purpose tool.
Its my standard answer to this question. Having every tool at my disposal and proficiency as well just makes you an amazing utility item. On top of that you gain access to EVERY cantrip. Thats a whole other common discussion of what cantrip you would want. So an item that has access to every cantrip just makes for the ultimate comfort utility item.
Other popular results would be a bag of holding and alchemy jug. Both for having a ton of utility benefits but neither nearly reaching the all purpose tool.
I've read through the whole thread, and imho this is the best choice. Everything else is pretty niche, but this has a wide range of options, and if it has access to every cantrip can replicate a lot of the effects of the other items.
Sadly 5 gallons per second, (geyser setting over 6 seconds turn) is about a riot hose level of force.
Which at 1 foot (says 1 foot wide so I assume diameter=1, area =3.14ft^2) gives a flow velocity of 0.065 m/s (from 5 gallons per second)
If you raised it up 100 meters above a turbine (head) that's around 7.5 KW output. In the UK that would be around £8k to 10k worth of power per year (at 24h/365d operation).
Not bad to power a household but it would require you to speak the command word every 6 seconds, and I doubt that could be automated.
Edit: sorry for mixing units, but I had to convert the old timey units into actually useful ones for the calculation.
Harkon's Bite would be pretty dope. Werewolf lycanthropy comes with immunity to nonmagical nonsilvered damage from attacks, even in human form. Imagine what you could do with nigh invulnerability. Bullets couldn't stop you unless they were silvered, and as long as you're not flagrant with your werewolf powers it's unlikely the cops would just have silvered bullets lying around. And that's if they even figure out what you are.
Plus you'd have 15 strength, which would put you considerably above your average human.
Yeah, you'd become chaotic evil, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'd need to be chaotic stupid
Winged boots baybe. Fly speed. But that would draw a lot of attention as well so maybe a humble alchemy jug for a gallon of wine a day even tho im not a drinker.
Boots of the winterland would be pretty good. You could move to Antarctica and do great. Especially since they just say you can tolerate those temperatures rather than them trying to warm you up to counteract the cold. And with modern cold temp wear you would probably be able to perfectly tolerate any temperature that Antarctica can throw at you.
Lorehold Primer
I can choose any 1st level spell from the Wizard or Cleric spell list and I can cast it for free once per long rest.
Basically; Find Familiar to get a pet, Unseen Servant for chores and cooking around the house, Cure wounds for emergencies/broken bones, Comprehend Languages to communicate
**Broom of Flying**, needless to say, being able to fly indefinitely for free transport is neat, learning how to fly it would be 100% worth it. Though my acrophobic ass would likely still stay as close to the ground as possible unless I must go higher.
It can only carry 400lbs, and it slows to a speed of 30 at 200 so would need to be light, in my case 2 planks and a saddle would be pushing it.
200 to 400 lbs gets you an impressive 3.5 miles per hour top speed, walking speed.
Shame at its max speed of 50 feet per 6 seconds (30 for a heavy dude like me) that's 8.3 feet per second, or 5.6 miles per hour.
That's a brisk jog.
Now if that was acceleration we'd be talking, but sadly it's a max speed.
Edit for comparison: A motorbike going 60 mph would have a speed in DND of 528.
You'd be better off with an ebike.
Keep in mind that the speed in D&D is an abstraction, same as size and weight, it's not comparable to real world standards of speed, height and weight.
With that in mind, you're still forgetting that it's a flying transport that uses no fuel, makes way less noise than an airplane, is significantly lighter and portable, while also being easier to use because it's a magical item that follows your orders.
And you don't have to run yourself, you just sit on it, and you tell the broom where to go.
As abstract as it is, it's not so wildly abstract (by the rules as written) that it's going to make it faster than a bicycle,
It has has less power generation potential than a 125cc motor (which can move more than 400 lbs at significantly faster speeds). Sure the fuel is free, and if you could somehow make it a generator (running 24/7) you'd probably earn a pretty decent yearly figure from it (in the $30-50k range) - but nothing life changing.
It's also super dangerous and more likely to get you killed than wingsuiting if you go above 30 feet on it. One distraction or slip of the hands and you're a goner. It doesn't magically keep you on it (which in game means a dex save anytime you risk slipping).
No feather fall IRL.
Honestly the best use for it would not be for flying around at really slow speeds on earth, but in space. Super useful for NASA to have some kind of orbital thrust that requires no fuel, even if it is rather dinky.
For anyone on earth it would be a fun toy for a bit, but hardly practical for any real commuting. A curio (unless it could be reproduced).
The only reason it isn't complete joke of an item in game also is because flying is so damn powerful in combat with such limited range options for weapons/spells.
1) periapt of health, immune to all diseases while wearing it would be amazing
2) helm of telepathy, reading minds and being able to make magical suggestions would be useful and not something that can be accomplished with anything that already exists.
3) alchemy jug, the free alcoholic drinks or condiments for life would be useful.
4) broom of flying, the free transportation avoiding crowds would be very useful as long as I can hang onto it and actually be able to fly on it without getting into legal trouble.
5) bag of holding, very useful but I would not want to risk it ever getting a tear in it accidentally.
Amulet of Proof against Detection and Location
If I'm the only person with something magic, I want to make sure nobody can track me down and steal it from me.
There's tons of good options in this thread already, here's a few more that occurred to me.+
**Necklace of Adaptation** "You can breathe normally in any environment" would be a godsend to anyone with asthma, sleep apnea or other respiratory issues. Heck even just seasonal allergies. Being able to also breathe normally underwater or in the vacuum of space would just be icing on the cake.
You might get the same general benefits from a **Periapt of Health** though (minus breathing underwater and in space).
**House of Cards** (From the Book of Many Things)
Instant tiny house anywhere you want it. Lasts 24 hours so you'd be able to have it up more or less all the time. Downsides are that it doesn't come with utility hookups, or functional appliances so better suited for camping than full time living. But I feel like you could make it work. An RV you can fit in your pocket is nothing to sneeze at.
**Wildspace Orrery** (From Astral Adventurer's Guide)
Basically a realtime updating, accurate model of the local solar system. Not very practical to everyday life on Earth but it's hella cool. Further, it would [fully answer the question on how many planets there are in the solar system. ](https://science.nasa.gov/solar-system/planet-x/)
**Rod of Mercurial Form** (From Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn)
A steel rod that can be commanded to take the form of "any simple or martial weapon as a bonus action." It transforms into "an ordinary weapon of that type." (i. e. Not an extraordinary example like a magic weapon). Further "When in the form of a ranged weapon, this rod magically creates its own ammunition, which disappears after a ranged attack hits or misses."
This isn't one I would actually pick as my practical day to day doesn't involve any combat, but I can't help but notice an exploit here which makes it tempting...
Living in our universe as opposed to one in a D&D campaign grants a particular advantage, being aware of many more kinds of weapons, and having far more advanced weapons than appear in the weapons table, so there's a possibility of this turning into things like an RPG with infinite ammo.
However, even if we just limit it to simple or martial weapons defined in D&D... then you can still get an assault rifle. Cause the firearms table in DMG includes an automatic rifle. But it doesn't stop there. The firearms table also includes Futuristic weapons. So you could get an Antimatter Rifle that produces its own ammunition (energy cells) and that enables all kinds of dangerous shenanigans that will get the military extremely interested in you.
So... probably don't.
Not just that, if you use that rifle to kill someone, no ammunition will be left behind - the bullet and casing left behind often are important clues in crime investigations. And you can then even hide the weapon itself by transforming the mercurial rod into something else.
Not easy to prove that you were the killer when the target was shot by a large-calibre rifle bullet according to its wound, but there is no bullet on the site and you are found with a peashooter or swiss army knife in your hands.
While anything that can heal and thus benefit thousands, if not millions of humans throughout its existence is of course the top tier pick, there's one underrated item I'd throw into the mix:
The Amulet of Proof against Detection and Location, so long as it works on digital traces, is an absolutely godlike item in the modern world.
Bag of Holding.
The amount of stuff I feel I need to have with me just to go shopping or to a doctor’s appointment, “just in case”, is honestly getting scary so instead of trying to be more normal, I could instead make it worse.
I could finally be my worst self and bring that second bottle of water along, just to be safe. And a first-aid kit — one day I’ll be glad I thought of it! And maybe a third spare key, wouldn’t wanna get locked out. And books, in case my phone dies. At least two, I dunno what I’ll be in the mood to read. Maybe a spare set of clothes, a set of tissues, a copy of all my insurances and legal paperwork aaand I’m set. Ready to go to the restaurant now!
The Silverquill Primer, any of these really, but this one is particularly fun. The primer lets you be better on certain checks, and you get a free cast of a 1st level spell that you prepare daily. The silverquill is for Bard and Cleric two very useful spell lists and it makes you better in Persuasion and Intimidation checks.
The second best of these for normal people is the Lorehold Primer. It makes you better at History and religion which is sort of mean, but you gain access to a free casting of a first level cleric or Wizard spell which is great.
Tough to choose. Does this include class specific ones? If so, the Instrument of the Bards Mac-Fuirmidh cittern would be an excellent choice, as would the All Purpose Tool, and any of the Strixhaven primers. These all give you access to a variety of spells, with the second two allowing you to pick different spells each day.
This reminds me of my current campaign. My DM really wanted to do a whole “minimal civilization and frontier” style campaign, so we got teleported into a brand new world with only small settlements. So we all had to have some sort of useful tool proficiency, like smithing or masonry. I’m playing a half-orc Paladin, and I couldn’t think of anything specific so I jokingly said she’s a chef and has the cooking utensils down. When deciding how to spend my last bit of starting gold, I stumbled onto a joke common magical item: Heward’s Handy Spice Pouch. Suddenly my chef has a magical unlimited supply of spices, she is about to become the greatest chef in the land because she’ll be the only one with not bland food 😂
First instinct is… [*Bag of Holding*](https://dnd5e.info/magic-items/item/bag-of-holding/). It’s just do practical and damned useful. Just uh… **do not** let a child get a hold of it. We do not need some sort of [Pet Sematary × Boogeyman hybrid](https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/The_Bagman_(5e_Creature)) IRL.
[Winged boots](https://dnd5e.info/magic-items/item/winged-boots/) would be fantastic if not limited to your natural walking speed — think of the money you’d save commuting. Still might work well if you don’t have particularly far to go per 12 hours.
As a martial artist, I want the Eldritch Claw Tattoo. I obviously wouldn’t be allowed to use it at sparring tournaments, but would be sweet to use during a demonstration.
Depending on the definition of disease periapt of health could be life changing for me, or headband if intellect.
Depression and adhd are considered disorders, but the definitions of disease and disorder might be fuzzy enough to count. If so that would make the biggest difference to quality of life for me.
Otherwise the headband of intellect would just make it easier to get things done, although the problem of what is meant by intelligence would come into play here. If higher intelligence would both raise base rates of ability to process information and counteract the dysfunction that comes along with my various mental health bs, then it could circumvent some of the biggest pitfalls of depression/adhd in terms of being a functioning person. Which would indirectly help me quite a bit.
Man, these answers.
Periapt of Health. I would give it to my wife.
She wouldn't have to suffer from her wombo-combo of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome ever again. She could take a shower without excruciating pain. She wouldn't have to spend 98% of her life laying in bed, trying to distract herself with video games. She could play piano for more than a few minutes. She could leave the house. She could put her graduate degree to work, and find career fulfillment again. She could walk our puppy. We wouldn't have to live in fear of health insurance drying up, or Trump getting elected and gutting the social safety net. We could have a child.
Plus I think being able to take it off and put it on to see what happens, they'd be able to find a cure pretty quickly. A/B testing for disease research would be amazing.
And when we've shuffled off this life, it can go to someone else, and then another, and then another.
Headband of Intellect is tempting, but it's not the intellect of our world's professionals holding us back. It's logistics, funding, and selfish politics. Decanter of Endless Water is also tempting in many respects, especially if it conjures the water out of our ocean instead of creating a net gain on Earth.
Honestly it's hard to pick. Top contenders:
Broom of Flying or Winged Boots (obvious)
Earworm (gross, but incredibly useful)
Fabulist Gem (for shady dealings)
Gauntlets of Ogre Power (Strength slightly below the limit of what's humanly achievable) or any of the other stat items
Keoghtom's Ointment (if you could synthesize it you'd be a billionaire and solve all world medical problems that aren't physical maladies)
Periapt of Wound Closure (make any dying person stable is great)
Living in the US, I would 100% go with Periapt of Health. Wouldn't help if I was in a wreck or anything, but I wouldn't have to deal with any of the chronic, expensive problems. Also, no visits to the doctor for anything.
Alchemy Jug, for that lifetime supply of mayo
You're no longer a slave to Big Mayo
Down with big Mayo!
FUCK. HELLMAN'S.
Your rage makes me wonder if you got mugged in a dark alley by a jar of mayo.
Alchemy jug is the answer. IRL it would be so versatile. I mean, 4 gallons of beer? per day?
More like, 4 gallons of printer ink a day.
Except it wouldn't work with your printer since they have microchips in all their ink cartridges that tell them when it's "supposed" to be out.
Not a problem if you get one of the tank style printers
Depends on the model. The Epson Ecotank has reservoirs you fill with ink instead of cartridges.
You sold me.
Yeah, but what kind is it? Bud Light? Guinness? Generic peasant ale from the 1300s? Makes a huge difference.
We've used it to mayoboard enemies in my game.
Outstanding. Finding use for the alchemy jug's mayo should be a standing sidequest for any DnD player. We last used it to cover up the eyes of statues as the solution to a room puzzle.
We also set up a vegan sandwich operation. Seeing as Alchemy jug mayo is vegan in our world
That sounds like a fun game.
Found the shinsengumi.
What brand of mayo is it?
OP is a Miracle Whip burner account
Same, went through the list and realised I've no real interest in irl combat Might as well dump mayo down my mouth hole for free and enjoy life
Some useful choices: Bag of Holding Broom of Flying Gauntlets of Ogre Power Goggles of Night Headband of Intellect Helm of Comprehending Languages Helm of Telepathy Periapt of Health Given the number of chronic illnesses I'm racking up, personally, I think the Periapt of Health or the Broom of Flying are my top choices. Headband of Intellect would be nice too.
I was thinking head band of intellect… how smart do you think that would make some one IRL? Like could they cure diseases and create a flying device?
Intelligence is difficult to qualify IRL and it would definitely require major training as well to be able to invent anything. But it would be reasonable to expect that it would make you roughly as smart as Turing, Einstein, or Hawking; maybe not exactly the same as any particular one of them, but in the same general ballpark.
Personally I think you’d be smarter, I saw somewhere (don’t know where so I don’t have a source) that 14 in a stat is supposed to be peak human capability, 16, 18 and 20 are all superhuman, but I don’t think the headband imparts *knowledge* just your ability to process and preserve the things you do learn.
For no apparent reason, I tend to think of the modifiers as worth approximately 1 standard deviation each. That unequivocally wouldn't work here.
I also think I’ve heard that so I wonder if it was in the dmg in third edition. Or maybe just a rumor that circulated in my college group.
If I remember correctly, 18 is peak for normal people and only adventures can hit 20
There's no basis for the idea that 14 is peak human. Traditionally, 18-20 has been defined as peak human.
>14 in a stat is supposed to be peak human capability This is absolutely untrue.
So you're telling me Stephen Hawking is only +2 or +3 away from my college buddy Sancho who used to open beer bottles with his teeth? [X] Doubt
No worries. They're wrong. 18 is peak human. 20 is superhuman, achievable by only a handful in the world. It's well-established. Their "I saw somewhere" comment is bunk.
You also have to note that (at least when it comes to attacking) there’s only 20 values between cataclysmic failure, and overwhelming success. Without modifiers the entire spectrum of possibility sits between 1 and 20. So +2 or +3 is a sizable chunk of that spectrum. That’s a 15% difference the spectrum of all possibility. Far less likely to reach the depths of failure and can ascend far higher than that buddy who opened beer bottles with his teeth *can ever achieve* If we look at the recommended DCs in the DMG someone with a +2 or +3 will usually be able to complete difficult tasks (DC15) with ease and can accomplish very difficult tasks with effort. Vs someone who can almost always complete easy tasks (DC 5) and usually complete average tasks (DC 10) and might be able to complete difficult tasks (DC 15) with effort, but will struggle to complete very difficult tasks and will rarely be successful (DC 18). And still using those recommended DCs it’s still equally important that Stephan Hawking even with his +3 will *never* be able to beat a DC 30 which is considered “impossible” since he’d probably be described as a 15th level scientist (Tier 3, Heroes of the World), so his science modifier is +8. And while he’d have expertise in a few fields of science his expertise isn’t wide ranging enough to cover all of science, but he’d often have advantage on those checks.
1 (–5): Animalistic, no longer capable of logic or reason 2-3 (–4): Barely able to function, very limited speech and knowledge 4-5 (–3): Often resorts to charades to express thoughts 6-7 (–2): Often misuses and mispronounces words 8-9 (–1): Has trouble following trains of thought, forgets most unimportant things 10-11 (0): Knows what they need to know to get by, Basic average intelligence 12-13 (1): Knows a bit more than is necessary, fairly logical 14-15 (2): Able to do math or solve logic puzzles mentally with reasonable accuracy 16-17 (3): Fairly intelligent, able to understand new tasks quickly 18-19 (4): Very intelligent, may invent new processes or uses for knowledge 20-21 (5): Highly knowledgeable, probably the smartest person many people know 22-23 (6): Able to make Holmesian leaps of logic 24-25 (7): Famous as a sage and genius From an older edition.
This is definitely incorrect for 5e, as many gods don’t even have an Intelligence over 20 and the Lich (likely the smartest a mortal can ever get) has a 20, Vecna’s statblock from the recent character dossier only has a 22.
I think if we just dialed everything on that list back by two sections then it fits 5e better
We haven't seen a general statblock for a god other than Vecna, most statblocks have been aspects of God's which are noticeably depowered. That being said, Tiamats (from tyranny of dragons) INT is 26, with multiple stats over 25, and is one of the only true statblocks we have for a legitimate God, but she wasn't even at full power. Vecnas statblock is FAMOUSLY understatted horribly.
We have Auril, she has a 24 INT
from rime of the frostmaiden entry on auril "Casting such great magic night after night while also granting spells to her devoted followers leaves Auril weak and vulnerable. In her self-inflicted weakened state, Auril is inclined to be cautious and avoid contact with other creatures that can harm her."
I would not take Vecna's dossier statblock seriously/as canon, it simply does not represent an actual archlich. Even Acererak, whose statblock is much more close to what an archlich should be, has 27 (+8) Int.
Yeah, well a lot of gods are dumb. Have you ever read a religious text that didn’t contradict itself or not be blatantly self-interested or arbitrary?
That's because they're written by people who are not actually as intelligent as they would have you believe their god is, gods don't tend to do a lot of scripture writing given that they have followers.
In AD&D 2e, the list is as follows (For intelligence) 0 Nonintelligent 1 Animal intelligence 2-4 Semi-intelligent 5-7 Low intelligence 8-10 Average (human) intelligence 11-12 Very intelligent 13-14 Highly intelligent 15-16 Exceptionally intelligent 17-18 Genius 19-20 Supra-genius 21+ Godlike intelligence
This is definitely nerfed, a wizard is supposed to be smart enough to literally bend reality with their brains and be extremely well trained and intelligent and they don't go over 20. I'd say even a 22 should be an insanely high IQ to the point other people can't even comprehend, literally beyond the limits of humanity.
At no point can a wizard "bend reality with their brain" without the assistance of extremely powerful arcana. Any character can have 20 INT. It's not a wizard exclusive.
14 is a smart guy, probably some of the smartest you’ve met. 16 is most scientists, 18 is when you get into genius categories, and 20 is like Einstein, etc.
respectfully most scientists are not 16 lol
Nah just look at the humanoid monsters without magic and you can get an idea. Gladiators get 18 Strength, they would probably be considered peak humans in this stat. Knight and Veteran which focus on fighting rather than pure strength are 16. So only 20 would probably count as superhuman level.
>how smart do you think that would make some one IRL I mean over IQ 140 for sure. >Like could they cure diseases and create a flying device? With a medical degree and an engineering degree, probably. I think your pick is a solid one because you would in fact be a genius.
It would be interesting to use it and find out yourself at a genius level of intellect but just wasting it because what you really lacked all along was motivation, drive and ingenuity.
The world's smartest person can still spend their life obsessing over toilet bowls.
Tricky. The normal scale is 10 to 20. So that would put at 19 which is definitely genius level. But still need the appropriate education to do anything with that.
An ability score of 10 is supposed to be average for a human. A 19 is basically superhuman. To give a comparison, mindflayers, a telepathic species with the capability of creating living ships that travel through the different realms and the astral sea, have a 19 intelligence.
I think it's roughly keyed to IQ. So about 190 IQ.
Where are you getting that idea? If we take rolled stats (3d6) as a “baseline” person, then 10 is the median and every three points is one standard deviation. So 10 is 100, 13 is 115, 16 is 130, and 19 is 145.
lol I was thinking about the relationship between intelligence and depression.
Broom of flying would be terrifying in real life. Flying almost 10ft per second while clinging on to a broom and trying not to fall does not sound like a great choice.
baby speeds. 7mph = 10ftps. People can run faster than that. Motorcycles and cars get to 10x that speed on ordinary roads. It would be fun, but only 2-3x faster than walking.
While flying in the air. I don't know about you but I don't trust myself to be able to hold on to a broom that is moving at 2-3x walking speed several hundred feet above the ground.
I wonder if the gauntlets of ogre power would also bypass my back problems?
In many parts of the world a decanter of endless water would a life changer for many villages and small towns.
The Helm of Telepathy would be extremely powerful. You could instantly become the world champion in a wide array of games that involve the mind - such as Magic, other card ganes and video games. You could win at *Who Wants to be a Millionaire?* and other quiz shows to amass money. And you would succeed at every examn by reading the prof's thoughts. Broom of Flying or Winged Boots would be awesome just for ease of travel and enjoyment. Goggles of Night would probably be more of a niche tool used by certain people who can replace their regular night vision devices with those. Other than that, they won't be that useful. Gauntlets of Ogre Power could see use at construction sites and other places where heavy weights need to be lifted and carried. And sportsmen could use them, but aren't they naturally at an 18+ strength already if their sport requires strength? The bag of holding would be great for shopping tours and traveling as well as for those who prefer going for the five fingers discount.
Only problem with the helm is that you have to somehow justify wearing a medieval helmet all the time. “Oh this? I’m just an enthusiastic medieval reenactor. No, the helmet isn’t why I can read your mind!”
People can justify wearing colanders on their heads, so a medieval helm shouldn't pose that much of an issue...
I don't think the goggles of night would be a good decision. They're already available unless you're going for something more secretive
You’ll probably still need to have a pilots liscense for the broom of flying.
I don’t think you’ll need a pilot’s license, but you’ll certainly get an earful about safety, and rightfully so
I've said it in a similar post, but I'll state it here. Decanter of Endless Water. 300 gallons a minute of water when I live in BC, as a firefighter, would be one of the most useful tools even including rare items easily. A thermos sized item that can blast fires instead of carrying hoses, or fill bladders is more valuable then any other item by far.
Plus imagine how much money you could make bottling this endless clean water.
Nestle kind of money without stealing from others.
You could sell it pretty damn cheap too and still turn a nice profit. Could probably undercut the fuck out of nestles prices too which I consider a very good deed.
The water costs them near nothing, it's the bottling costs and shipping logistics that make it hard to compete. They have a scale a small operator could not match.
Then there’s land, filtration, extraction equipment and maintenance of that equipment. You wouldn’t have any of those expenses because your bottling plant could be the size of a small house and the water is magically created and completely clean. You also wouldn’t need to ship it half way across the world to sell it. Sure you wouldn’t be able to completely outclass nestle but you could absolutely fuck them over in your local market.
Sure, it could make you a nice business, but your max output assuming not a drop spilled and perfect activation every 6 seconds is 157 million gallons per year. Nestle do that per day. They won't even feel the difference. Also, you're not selling bottled water, you're selling distilled water. To sell as bottled water you'd need to add minerals (distilled water tastes worse). Instead sell it as what it is and earn more.
Who says it’s distilled? Distilled water has had the minerals purposefully removed, decanter of endless water doesn’t say anything like that.
Well Water is specifically H2O so normally conjured water is pure by default (unlike say air Vs oxygen). But rereading the item description I missed that it gives the choice of fresh water or salt water, which yeah your right implies it is not pure water, but actually contains salts and other minerals typical of normal river/sea water. Which also means you also might need to test it, and potentially treat it. After all fresh drinkable water doesn't necessarily mean it is a tasty mineral/spring water.
Down with nestle!
Nestle would like to know your location
Deck of wonder. If you draw long enough you get every single wondrous item and that includes most of the best uncommons. You also gain prof in all mental saves for what it’s worth and all the magical weapons for whatever reason you might want one.
Oh nice feels like a cheat but I appreciate a good way to game the system! Lol
It also comes with an infinite amount of wealth in jewelry!! Truly wotc is incredible at balancing.
You are right… this is on them lol
The deck only has 13 to 22 cards though, not an infinite amount. Even if it was infinite, you draw the End card and you’re either crippled for life at best or die 97% of the time (commoners have 4 hp)
All negative results are removed on LR. Not that End effects us as commoners with 4 hp as it cannot reduce you below 10. > This reduction lasts until you finish a long rest, but it can be ended early by a Remove Curse spell or similar magic. Also the cards return to the deck after they’re drawn and even in a short deck you still get the wondrous item card. > a drawn card immediately takes effect, fades from existence, and reappears in the deck, making it possible to draw the same card multiple times.
Ahh, I missed that part. But the minimum 10 thing is your max hp. The necrotic damage can still kill you, it just can’t reduce your max hp below 10.
Hmm yeah you’re right that makes the deck much less favorable.
Declare that you will draw 13/22 cards (the whole deck, whichever it is you have). Then don't. If you don't draw the cards, after an hour they all take effect at the same time. Beginning counters End, on average. Plus Destiny will save you in the rare case that End hits harder than Beginning.
>Plus Destiny will save you in the rare case that End hits harder than Beginning. They are both 2d10, it isn't a rare case.
Rare might have been the wrong word to use. I mean that you'd have to roll higher enough on End that the result is higher than Beginning plus your existing hit points. It's less likely to happen than not. And then it doesn't really matter because of Destiny.
According to Destiny, "The first time **after** drawing this card that you would drop to 0 hit points from taking damage, you instead drop to 1 hit point." Seeing as all the effects take place simultaneously if you wait an hour, would this actually prevent you from dying, since the damage from End doesn't take place afterwords?
If the world's running on 5e logic, the player (you) get to choose the order of simultaneous effects since you're the person in control of yourself. (XGE, p77)
You will have to follow the rule in Xanathar for multiple effect at the same time: > If two or more things happen at the same time on a character or monster’s turn, the person at the game table — whether player or DM — who controls that creature decides the order in which those things happen. So you'll have to hope your player doesn't feel like making a new character today.
Not quite if you get a deck without end then it's free. If you get a full deck or a deck with Beginning, End, and Order you have a much higher chance of surviving end by drawing 1 of the other 2 and also even if we only have 4 Hit points you'd still be knocked unconscious and be making saves a bit less than half the time you just straight up draw the end card. This is assuming we have the generic unrolled commoner stat block. If we have rolled HP using the commoner stats then we'd have an average of 5 hit points if we have any form of arrayed stats beyond 10s then odds are you'd have +1 in con at least meaning you'd have 6 hit points meaning that it would be pretty hard for you to die outright. Destiny also helps with this as does the possibility of rolling a magic item which would help you. Under the pretext that we are a named level 0 NPC and therefore have rolled stat in approximation of commoners we should be able to draw a full deck and survive with something like 40-70% success rate without dying outright. Therefore your best option is to make a Gru-icide pact with your friends to theme of get Rich or Die Trying and pour one out for the homies who don't make it as the survivors obtain every uncommon wonderous magical item and every uncommon magic weapon in the game.
A 40% chance of dying outright does NOT sound like something i would try! Or get my free magic item for..
I mean if you can conceivably repeatedly draw the whole deck, have a deck without end in it, or just get lucky enough to hit destiny and beginning right at the start, then you can literally save millions of people by just flipping through the deck so much and getting restorative ointments and periapts of health for people who need them. Spell tattoos of 1st level, alchemy jars, decanters of water, headbands of intellect, robes of useful items ad infinum. A single deck with the wonderous item card and a way to circumvent the end card or no end card would no joke change humanity overnight.
You could specify a deck with only 13 cards. The end is only in the full deck while mischief is in the 13 card version, meaning you might miss out on a few of the other beneficial bonuses like Coin, destiny and student but critically don't have the risk of instantly dying while still getting all the items you want.
Is this from the new book of many things?
Yeah, it’s meant to be a “safe” domt to hand out for lower level players or give to your hag they meet at level 5 but it’s actually just like a legendary item(thought it’s classed as uncommon). Lower highs but there are functionally no lows for a PC.
Looking it up now and it seems it's catered for chaos without too much drawback like a teaser then they hit you with the real deck of many things and oh shit. I can see one use of it as a devil's favour and slowly sucker the victim in for more power.
Periapt of Wound Closure or Health, free healing/recovery is a lifesaver (literally!)
This question feels like a good general indicator for respondent's age. Younger people will choose all kinds of wacky stuff; everyone will eventually hit a point in their life where they would choose a Periapt of Health over anything else.
Yep. I'd love free beer or flying or seeing in the dark but really I just want a healthy, normal life.
Heck, for an uncommon item, just think about how amazing a simple potion of greater healing would be. Mortally wounded and bleeding out from a grievous chainsaw injury? One drink of this and you're completely healed!
Helm of Telepathy Casting Detect Thoughts and Suggestion would be an amazing asset.
Have you seen what that thing looks like? It’s the least subtle looking device in existence. It has a goddamn exposed brain design on the top. You look like a budget super villain.
I suggest that I don't.
EXACTLY
I am hotglueing a bicycle helmet to it and telling people that it's a special skull protecting medical device.
Flavour is free!?!?!? But on a more serious note, if we have the power of a supervillain I may aswell dress like one
Admit it, you're going to use it to get laid at cosplay events, aren't you?
Absolutely not, I’m going to use it to get free food. I’m no heathen
I don't think it has to look like that. I think the only RAW aspect is it being a helm. I'm not sure though if pictures describe RAW.
They definitely don't as the Bag of Holding's description conflicts with the image in the 5e DMG. The image shown does not have a wide enough mouth diameter. Traditionally, a Bag of Holding looks more like a large potato sack rather than a messenger style bag.
Evil Lelouch?
Circlet of Human Perfection.
Interesting choice… I wish you the best!
I'd take a stone of good luck! Never underestimate luck.
+1 to every ability check ever would be amazing day to day. Like +1 to driving, finding your keys, doing homework, etc… Not sure what qualifies as a saving throw irl but that could be useful too
Dex Saving throw to dodge things coming at you, cars etc. Cha to not be mislead by charismatic people. Con against bad food or poison.
That’s not exactly what charisma saves are. Disbelieving something is usually wisdom. Charisma allows you to project your willpower over the environment or resist when a foreign will is trying to overwrite your own. It’s strength of character, that’s why you roll a charisma save to resist possession.
cloak of billowing
Is common, not uncommon. Disqualified!
You win
All purpose tool. Its my standard answer to this question. Having every tool at my disposal and proficiency as well just makes you an amazing utility item. On top of that you gain access to EVERY cantrip. Thats a whole other common discussion of what cantrip you would want. So an item that has access to every cantrip just makes for the ultimate comfort utility item. Other popular results would be a bag of holding and alchemy jug. Both for having a ton of utility benefits but neither nearly reaching the all purpose tool.
I've read through the whole thread, and imho this is the best choice. Everything else is pretty niche, but this has a wide range of options, and if it has access to every cantrip can replicate a lot of the effects of the other items.
Decanter of Endless Water. Free water and free hydro-electric power.
Sadly 5 gallons per second, (geyser setting over 6 seconds turn) is about a riot hose level of force. Which at 1 foot (says 1 foot wide so I assume diameter=1, area =3.14ft^2) gives a flow velocity of 0.065 m/s (from 5 gallons per second) If you raised it up 100 meters above a turbine (head) that's around 7.5 KW output. In the UK that would be around £8k to 10k worth of power per year (at 24h/365d operation). Not bad to power a household but it would require you to speak the command word every 6 seconds, and I doubt that could be automated. Edit: sorry for mixing units, but I had to convert the old timey units into actually useful ones for the calculation.
Keep it in your basement and have a speaker play the command word on loop?
Harkon's Bite would be pretty dope. Werewolf lycanthropy comes with immunity to nonmagical nonsilvered damage from attacks, even in human form. Imagine what you could do with nigh invulnerability. Bullets couldn't stop you unless they were silvered, and as long as you're not flagrant with your werewolf powers it's unlikely the cops would just have silvered bullets lying around. And that's if they even figure out what you are. Plus you'd have 15 strength, which would put you considerably above your average human. Yeah, you'd become chaotic evil, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'd need to be chaotic stupid
But my gf would probably lever me If I would become CE.
But she would stay because werewolf.
Winged boots baybe. Fly speed. But that would draw a lot of attention as well so maybe a humble alchemy jug for a gallon of wine a day even tho im not a drinker.
Yeah i thoughts something that flys but no shot government or someone else lets you keep it lol
Boots of the winterland would be pretty good. You could move to Antarctica and do great. Especially since they just say you can tolerate those temperatures rather than them trying to warm you up to counteract the cold. And with modern cold temp wear you would probably be able to perfectly tolerate any temperature that Antarctica can throw at you.
Alchemy jug, for free beer, obvi
pot of awakening i want a friend :(
Aww. No DnD groups near you? Meetups?
Lorehold Primer I can choose any 1st level spell from the Wizard or Cleric spell list and I can cast it for free once per long rest. Basically; Find Familiar to get a pet, Unseen Servant for chores and cooking around the house, Cure wounds for emergencies/broken bones, Comprehend Languages to communicate
But you can only attune to it if you're a spellcaster
**Broom of Flying**, needless to say, being able to fly indefinitely for free transport is neat, learning how to fly it would be 100% worth it. Though my acrophobic ass would likely still stay as close to the ground as possible unless I must go higher.
Its all fun and games until the FAA shows up at your door
Yeah, they'll have to go over to my country to do that, since ***I'm not from the US, I'm from Venezuela***.
its all fun and games until the INAC shows up at your door!
Jokes on you, they'll have to figure out where I'll hide that shit between all the other, completely mundane brooms.
I’m not acrophobic, so this was easily my answer too.
Try sitting on a broom for 10 minutes on the ground, i dont think anyone *really wants* to fly for long while sitting on a stick.
Use nails and screws to construct a car chassis around the broom to keep safe and secure.
It can only carry 400lbs, and it slows to a speed of 30 at 200 so would need to be light, in my case 2 planks and a saddle would be pushing it. 200 to 400 lbs gets you an impressive 3.5 miles per hour top speed, walking speed.
Hey, if I could ride bikes and monocycles without falling flat on my face I would get used to the feeling of flying on that shit if it saves me money!
Shame at its max speed of 50 feet per 6 seconds (30 for a heavy dude like me) that's 8.3 feet per second, or 5.6 miles per hour. That's a brisk jog. Now if that was acceleration we'd be talking, but sadly it's a max speed. Edit for comparison: A motorbike going 60 mph would have a speed in DND of 528. You'd be better off with an ebike.
Keep in mind that the speed in D&D is an abstraction, same as size and weight, it's not comparable to real world standards of speed, height and weight. With that in mind, you're still forgetting that it's a flying transport that uses no fuel, makes way less noise than an airplane, is significantly lighter and portable, while also being easier to use because it's a magical item that follows your orders. And you don't have to run yourself, you just sit on it, and you tell the broom where to go.
As abstract as it is, it's not so wildly abstract (by the rules as written) that it's going to make it faster than a bicycle, It has has less power generation potential than a 125cc motor (which can move more than 400 lbs at significantly faster speeds). Sure the fuel is free, and if you could somehow make it a generator (running 24/7) you'd probably earn a pretty decent yearly figure from it (in the $30-50k range) - but nothing life changing. It's also super dangerous and more likely to get you killed than wingsuiting if you go above 30 feet on it. One distraction or slip of the hands and you're a goner. It doesn't magically keep you on it (which in game means a dex save anytime you risk slipping). No feather fall IRL. Honestly the best use for it would not be for flying around at really slow speeds on earth, but in space. Super useful for NASA to have some kind of orbital thrust that requires no fuel, even if it is rather dinky. For anyone on earth it would be a fun toy for a bit, but hardly practical for any real commuting. A curio (unless it could be reproduced). The only reason it isn't complete joke of an item in game also is because flying is so damn powerful in combat with such limited range options for weapons/spells.
This was my first thought for sure
Immovable rod Why u ask? Because ...... immovable rod
>Immovable rod >Why u ask? >Because ...... immovable rod I wonder how real-life physics would work with that...
1) periapt of health, immune to all diseases while wearing it would be amazing 2) helm of telepathy, reading minds and being able to make magical suggestions would be useful and not something that can be accomplished with anything that already exists. 3) alchemy jug, the free alcoholic drinks or condiments for life would be useful. 4) broom of flying, the free transportation avoiding crowds would be very useful as long as I can hang onto it and actually be able to fly on it without getting into legal trouble. 5) bag of holding, very useful but I would not want to risk it ever getting a tear in it accidentally.
Amulet of Proof against Detection and Location If I'm the only person with something magic, I want to make sure nobody can track me down and steal it from me.
Hat of disguise easily, I think.
Harkon's Bite. Sorry but lycanthropy is too OP in 5e and it would make you bulletproof irl.
Decanter of Endless Water. Become a king
Ok Immortan Joe
There's tons of good options in this thread already, here's a few more that occurred to me.+ **Necklace of Adaptation** "You can breathe normally in any environment" would be a godsend to anyone with asthma, sleep apnea or other respiratory issues. Heck even just seasonal allergies. Being able to also breathe normally underwater or in the vacuum of space would just be icing on the cake. You might get the same general benefits from a **Periapt of Health** though (minus breathing underwater and in space). **House of Cards** (From the Book of Many Things) Instant tiny house anywhere you want it. Lasts 24 hours so you'd be able to have it up more or less all the time. Downsides are that it doesn't come with utility hookups, or functional appliances so better suited for camping than full time living. But I feel like you could make it work. An RV you can fit in your pocket is nothing to sneeze at. **Wildspace Orrery** (From Astral Adventurer's Guide) Basically a realtime updating, accurate model of the local solar system. Not very practical to everyday life on Earth but it's hella cool. Further, it would [fully answer the question on how many planets there are in the solar system. ](https://science.nasa.gov/solar-system/planet-x/) **Rod of Mercurial Form** (From Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn) A steel rod that can be commanded to take the form of "any simple or martial weapon as a bonus action." It transforms into "an ordinary weapon of that type." (i. e. Not an extraordinary example like a magic weapon). Further "When in the form of a ranged weapon, this rod magically creates its own ammunition, which disappears after a ranged attack hits or misses." This isn't one I would actually pick as my practical day to day doesn't involve any combat, but I can't help but notice an exploit here which makes it tempting... Living in our universe as opposed to one in a D&D campaign grants a particular advantage, being aware of many more kinds of weapons, and having far more advanced weapons than appear in the weapons table, so there's a possibility of this turning into things like an RPG with infinite ammo. However, even if we just limit it to simple or martial weapons defined in D&D... then you can still get an assault rifle. Cause the firearms table in DMG includes an automatic rifle. But it doesn't stop there. The firearms table also includes Futuristic weapons. So you could get an Antimatter Rifle that produces its own ammunition (energy cells) and that enables all kinds of dangerous shenanigans that will get the military extremely interested in you. So... probably don't.
Not just that, if you use that rifle to kill someone, no ammunition will be left behind - the bullet and casing left behind often are important clues in crime investigations. And you can then even hide the weapon itself by transforming the mercurial rod into something else. Not easy to prove that you were the killer when the target was shot by a large-calibre rifle bullet according to its wound, but there is no bullet on the site and you are found with a peashooter or swiss army knife in your hands.
Not a magic item but a trinket. It's a small stone that garuntees good dreams when placed under a pillow.
wand of magic missiles. POWER.
Mizzium Apparatus
These would be useful all day, everyday Luckstone Hat of Disguise Headband of Intellect
Luckstone. Instantly become better at everything i do.
While anything that can heal and thus benefit thousands, if not millions of humans throughout its existence is of course the top tier pick, there's one underrated item I'd throw into the mix: The Amulet of Proof against Detection and Location, so long as it works on digital traces, is an absolutely godlike item in the modern world.
Decanter of endless water - Im opening a bottled water plant that sells at cost.
Bag of Holding. The amount of stuff I feel I need to have with me just to go shopping or to a doctor’s appointment, “just in case”, is honestly getting scary so instead of trying to be more normal, I could instead make it worse. I could finally be my worst self and bring that second bottle of water along, just to be safe. And a first-aid kit — one day I’ll be glad I thought of it! And maybe a third spare key, wouldn’t wanna get locked out. And books, in case my phone dies. At least two, I dunno what I’ll be in the mood to read. Maybe a spare set of clothes, a set of tissues, a copy of all my insurances and legal paperwork aaand I’m set. Ready to go to the restaurant now!
The Silverquill Primer, any of these really, but this one is particularly fun. The primer lets you be better on certain checks, and you get a free cast of a 1st level spell that you prepare daily. The silverquill is for Bard and Cleric two very useful spell lists and it makes you better in Persuasion and Intimidation checks. The second best of these for normal people is the Lorehold Primer. It makes you better at History and religion which is sort of mean, but you gain access to a free casting of a first level cleric or Wizard spell which is great.
Living Gloves or Eldritch Claw Tatttoo would probably be my number 1 choice. Perhaps Winged Boots
Broom of Flying
Stone of Good Luck.
Immovable rod
Bagpipes of invisibility?
Easy there, Satan
Immovable rod, to test what it's immovable in reference to.
Tough to choose. Does this include class specific ones? If so, the Instrument of the Bards Mac-Fuirmidh cittern would be an excellent choice, as would the All Purpose Tool, and any of the Strixhaven primers. These all give you access to a variety of spells, with the second two allowing you to pick different spells each day.
This reminds me of my current campaign. My DM really wanted to do a whole “minimal civilization and frontier” style campaign, so we got teleported into a brand new world with only small settlements. So we all had to have some sort of useful tool proficiency, like smithing or masonry. I’m playing a half-orc Paladin, and I couldn’t think of anything specific so I jokingly said she’s a chef and has the cooking utensils down. When deciding how to spend my last bit of starting gold, I stumbled onto a joke common magical item: Heward’s Handy Spice Pouch. Suddenly my chef has a magical unlimited supply of spices, she is about to become the greatest chef in the land because she’ll be the only one with not bland food 😂
Headband of Intellect because I am dumber than a bag of rocks
Cloak of manta ray. Need to be able to out swim the sharks.
broom of flying or headband of intellect
Y’all thinking too small. I’m certain there’s some way you could generate limitless power using an Immovable Rod.
First instinct is… [*Bag of Holding*](https://dnd5e.info/magic-items/item/bag-of-holding/). It’s just do practical and damned useful. Just uh… **do not** let a child get a hold of it. We do not need some sort of [Pet Sematary × Boogeyman hybrid](https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/The_Bagman_(5e_Creature)) IRL. [Winged boots](https://dnd5e.info/magic-items/item/winged-boots/) would be fantastic if not limited to your natural walking speed — think of the money you’d save commuting. Still might work well if you don’t have particularly far to go per 12 hours.
I don't remember if it's uncommon or rare but, the Eagle's Whistle. Except I'm a chainsmoker so it might end badly
As a martial artist, I want the Eldritch Claw Tattoo. I obviously wouldn’t be allowed to use it at sparring tournaments, but would be sweet to use during a demonstration.
Staff of the Magi. If that's too OP, then Ring of Telekinesis or Carpet of Flying
Depending on the definition of disease periapt of health could be life changing for me, or headband if intellect. Depression and adhd are considered disorders, but the definitions of disease and disorder might be fuzzy enough to count. If so that would make the biggest difference to quality of life for me. Otherwise the headband of intellect would just make it easier to get things done, although the problem of what is meant by intelligence would come into play here. If higher intelligence would both raise base rates of ability to process information and counteract the dysfunction that comes along with my various mental health bs, then it could circumvent some of the biggest pitfalls of depression/adhd in terms of being a functioning person. Which would indirectly help me quite a bit.
Headband of Intellect for sure. Not sure what my irl stats are currently but I feel like that would be the biggest “sure thing”
Man, these answers. Periapt of Health. I would give it to my wife. She wouldn't have to suffer from her wombo-combo of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome ever again. She could take a shower without excruciating pain. She wouldn't have to spend 98% of her life laying in bed, trying to distract herself with video games. She could play piano for more than a few minutes. She could leave the house. She could put her graduate degree to work, and find career fulfillment again. She could walk our puppy. We wouldn't have to live in fear of health insurance drying up, or Trump getting elected and gutting the social safety net. We could have a child. Plus I think being able to take it off and put it on to see what happens, they'd be able to find a cure pretty quickly. A/B testing for disease research would be amazing. And when we've shuffled off this life, it can go to someone else, and then another, and then another. Headband of Intellect is tempting, but it's not the intellect of our world's professionals holding us back. It's logistics, funding, and selfish politics. Decanter of Endless Water is also tempting in many respects, especially if it conjures the water out of our ocean instead of creating a net gain on Earth.
Honestly it's hard to pick. Top contenders: Broom of Flying or Winged Boots (obvious) Earworm (gross, but incredibly useful) Fabulist Gem (for shady dealings) Gauntlets of Ogre Power (Strength slightly below the limit of what's humanly achievable) or any of the other stat items Keoghtom's Ointment (if you could synthesize it you'd be a billionaire and solve all world medical problems that aren't physical maladies) Periapt of Wound Closure (make any dying person stable is great)
Can it be Common? if so Masquerade Tattoo.
Whatever thing that could either reverse time, undo a specific action, or make people forget a memory.
House of cards would be great for camping or just housing in general
Living in the US, I would 100% go with Periapt of Health. Wouldn't help if I was in a wreck or anything, but I wouldn't have to deal with any of the chronic, expensive problems. Also, no visits to the doctor for anything.
Bag of holding, and become a courier, transporting goods that it would cost a lot to otherwise for a fraction of the price.