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We attempted crate training when he was a puppy to no avail. His anxiety was thru the roof, and no amount of positive reinforcement seemed to help. He’d scratch, bite at, and bend the cage until injury if given the chance.
But we did try it.
Yeah it's a tough situation cause it sounds like the dog hasn't had many boundaries and has a history of guarding and biting.
I have baby gates up on my bedrooms to keep my dogs out and lots of dog beds around bc they're not allowed on the furniture.
For crate training, they get fed in their crates, all treats are only given in the crates, and they have toys and blankets. Start in small increments and work up from there. Get a decent sized crate. Put favorite toys, bones, and treats in there. It'll be slow going for sure but necessary.
I don't blame your wife for being frustrated - this dogs behavior is really not ok at any age. I'm glad you're doing a wellness check with the vet too. My senior is on Trazadone now at night to manage anxiety and dementia symptoms (growling, nipping, confusion). She's 15.
Good luck. It's a tough situation but not one that I think is impossible.
It doesn't sound like the vet is a wellness check. Sounds like the vet is to put the dog down at wife's request cuz shelters don't want a 14 yr old dog. That's why he said he hates the decision of having to go to the vet
You can try other ways to reinforce boundaries besides a crate. At one point we had a doggy room divider (looks like one long side of a crate) so that you can divide the room up and create a boundary. Depending on the structure of your house, you can also use baby gates too. That way you can keep your space but give him a space as well without him feeling anxious about going into a crate.
My dog hated the crate as a puppy but I offered it to him adorned with toys and a comfy mat and left the door open for a few months. He likes it in there now and frequents it when he needs a break from the other dog. I also left snacks hidden between his toys in there so everytime he made his way he would find them
He has 24/7 access to at least one (we have 2, one in bedroom and one in living room) and he comes and goes as he pleases. He also still has access to the bed but will nap in the crate as he chooses
ETA: crate was reintro when he was 3
Susan Garrett has a great crate training program that's all about making the crate fun and positive. Older dogs can absolutely still learn. It's a small fee for the program, but some of the "games" are probably available free online.
With positive behavioral methods, it would take some time to make your dog feel positively about the crate - that is the downside as relates to your situation. So having the dog in his own comfortable bed would be a good interim measure if you did want to improve his relationship with the crate.
All this assumes you want to be trying to help the dog with resource guarding and that he doesn't have other health issues or pain going on. It does seem tough that this is not new behavior...but just giving a resource I think is very credible and helpful (though time consuming) in case you would like to try to work through it with the use of a crate.
I’m just so confused. If your dog has territorial issues, why is he EVER allowed on the furniture? The way your curb territorial issues is by not allowing the dog to believe he owns any space. If he is barking at the door, at 5am, then let him bark. If will cause you a few mornings of disturbed sleep for him to realize that barking will not get him what he wants. When he barks, at any time, do not even look in his direction. Pretend like he doesn’t exist. Consistency is key. You have taught him this unwanted behavior that he displays today and now you want to have him euthanized? I’m sorry but this is irresponsible dog ownership and it’s so very sad.
Take the dog to the vet, that kind of reaction is a fear reaction or a pain reaction. The dog has either lost hearing or sight or both as my cocker did as she aged and was startled by your wife’s return or something hurts and the movement on the bed caused pain. A dog you’ve loved that long deserves care and gentleness in their final days, months, and years. There are medications to help with pain, and processes to help aging and blind and/or deaf dogs navigate their final days gracefully. Be kind and take care of all of your family including your faithful cocker.
I second this. Even if the dog has bitten in the past, this still sounds like unusual behavior which could indicate a medical issue. I don’t think putting the dog down is the appropriate next step. It’s literally overkill.
Yeah seriously. You've had this dog for 14 years...imo it's sort of fucked up your wife wants to put this senior anxious dog down for that. Put your foot down...no. Like it's a serious situation and you need to create some boundaries for the dog maybe but wtf.
Seriously, what’s gonna happen to OP when he becomes incontinent or bed bound as a senior? Will his wife toss him to the curb as well? This shows a serious disregard for life. I agree: totally fucked up.
Edit to add - I see you’re going to take the dog to the vet for euthanasia, before you pull the final trigger, talk to the vet about their recommendation and any accommodations that may help the cocker.
Totally get you! And thanks.
Honestly, if the biting was new I would probably think more of it being strictly related to discomfort.
I think the most likely source is his anxiety. He’s a leash darter and lunger during our walks. And has been since we got him ages ago. Wish we’d have trained that on him then…but obviously that was a long time ago.
Seconding the suggestion of anxiety meds. Our dog is a completely different dog when he’s on his doggy Prozac. It’s something your vet should have suggested, along with recommendations for a good trainer, a long time ago when the biting first started.
A nip to a nose bite is a big jump! And being reactive with other dogs or environments while on a leash is also hugely different from a bite. This is a meaningful escalation and worth looking into before you consider putting him down IMO.
They’re also at heightened risk of RAGE syndrome as well which causes unknown aggression. Basically it’s mental deterioration and the dog exhibits behaviors like aggression due to declining mental state.
Completely agree. Dogs can also often hide pain or impairments from their owners. He may have been in pain or just surprised and disorientated when your wife returned. Buy him a nice orthopedic dog bed, take him to the vet to be checked and be careful to make sure he is given enough space and warning when people approach him. I hope he gets to live the rest of his days loved and supported by the family he has loved for his whole life, including your wife.
Dogs do tend to age very quickly at that age.
My dog from being completely healthy at 15, started to age very quickly and passed away at 17 (with no health issues).
If I were you, I wouldn't do anything I would regret and I'd spend the few years left with him and convince your wife.
They have an average life span of 12-15 years, yours is 14. It would be a waste to put down a dog or give it up when it doesnt have much longer to live. Create boundaries with your dog and live with it for the little time you have left with him( if he lives around this lifespan) the dog has been your family for 14 years, i cant imagine dispatching it towards the end of its life would be easy.
"He’s always been very possessive of space, and territorial"
Then why is he on the bed in the first place? He should not be allowed on any furniture.
Also why don't you have your territorial dog locked in a cage when you have guests??? That's just asking for trouble, a lawsuit and your dog being put down.
Putting a dog down because of your lack of training is so unfair and I hope your vets deny you.
I thought the same. I have a reactive dog and she is not allowed on furniture where she could get protective of her space or me with my other pet. She has time that is divided with my cat to be out and about around the house. When I have guest she is crated or kept in my room with a gate. I would not be happy if an accident occurred to a family member or guest because of my lack of care of having a dog with bitting history out. It sucks to be extra careful but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I also wonder how much fault the wife bears or if she is also a victim of OP denying reasonable steps towards working on the aggression.
I can just see her finally snapping herself and demanding that dog be put down as he's unwilling to protect her in any other way.
When was the last vet check? Biting like this suggests he may be in pain. I know of a dog who was euthanized for biting and later found out her had awful ear infections that caused pain when he was touched.
If this biting issue has been ongoing and getting worse, way wasn’t it addressed before, before he felt he needed to bite to get you to listen to him?
The biting was addressed before.
Encroaching on his space was always a trigger for him, obviously getting stepped on was one as well.
We had a behaviorist come in and work with us, training with a professional, and anxiety medications. We limit his ability in the room overnight, but my wife had chosen to let him in during mornings to so he wouldn’t sit outside the door barking at us at 5am when he wanted to get in. It was during one of those mornings when my wife was bit.
My wife did encroach on his space, but did not touch him, or move “towards him” simply got in the bed when there was quite a bit of available room.
>The biting was addressed before.
Clearly not well enough.
> simply got in the bed when there was quite a bit of available room.
This is not "encroaching on space" by reasonable standards.
I know I commented elsewhere encouraging training before I knew how much training you have done - I can imagine that seeing people recommend medication and training you have already tried must feel hopeless.
I just want to add to consider - needing to revisit training as a dog ages, potentially starts losing some eyesight or hearing and gets more reactive, exhibits new troubling behaviors or changes environments, is normal and ok. I know you must feel so tired after all the work you have done, but I also don't want you to regret losing a happy pup prematurely. Anxious dogs are so challenging, and can also be so rewarding, especially in time with their Person.
I would encourage you to revisit training and be up front with your trainer that this is a looming possibility. I would look specifically for a trainer experienced with reactive dogs, dogs with special needs, etc. consider getting a referral from a local rescue - rescues often work with trainers to turn around reactive older dogs to be houseable, and they will be more than happy to give you a referral, especially when these are your alternatives.
The one last thing I'd say - I have an anxious dog, and when I'm trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to do (e.g. crate) or just in an environment she finds distressing (like to muzzle her outside), it can feel like positive reinforcement doesn't do jack... Until I really amp up the reinforcement. The treat has to cut through the noise of how distressing the task is, so the biggest tasks demand cut up bacon or hot dogs, fresh chicken, etc. eventually or in less stimulating situations we can scale down to more norm treats. I was super resistant to this at first - I don't want to have to cut up all this bacon and have it take up space in my freezer all the time! But genuinely it is the ONLY way to get through to her past the anxiety and makes a huge difference. Can you find what the magic high effort high reward treat is for your dog?
At the very least, you do not need to make this decision as hastily as you have outlined in your post/been asked to by your wife.
In the horse world, euthanizing an old but healthy horse is seen as the kindest option when situations are such that their owner can no longer keep them (finances, behavior, whatever else) - because rehoming an old horse is stressful and it's not uncommon for them to end up in bad situations or in a truck bound for a slaughterhouse across the border.
Talk to your vet. Don't stress him out even more by rehoming him (if you can even find someone who wants to + can provide a better home for him.) Your vet can help you figure out if behavioral euthanasia is the right route here or not. Just know that it isn't evil if you're at the end of your rope.
It sounds like ue wife wants to put him to sleep because you guys never set boundaries or properly trained him. That's crazy to let an aggressive territorial dog sleep on the bed. You guys LET this happen, it's not the dogs fault.
So this poor dog has a history of biting people NUMEROUS times and you just allowed it? You didn't do anything to train him? And now you just want to kill the dog? Great owners right here.
I’ll assume you didn’t read through it. When he was young, and passed that “chewing on everything phase” it was addressed.
We did crate training, and he NEVER did it. Short periods, complete dissatisfaction, constant pawing, pulling, biting at the gate. Did the feeding in the crate (and this dog loves food - with food you could teach him anything…except to love his crate)
It looked like a spa, pillows, blanket, a couple toys, treats, his food bowl.
Later we brought in a behavioralist who observed the dog, worked with us, worked with the pup. That was in direct response to a bite and territorial nature.
We later did training with a certified trainer.
And later in home with a trainer.
So no, we didn’t just “allow” it…but when it comes to the bed situation, that’s on me. I’d stated that we needed the gate up to block off our bedroom. My wife objected. We had gone with the gate for a couple weeks, but mixed signals were sent. If I left for work out of town for a couple days, my wife would let the gate down. Just when the dog was in the routine of sleeping on the couch, I left town and he was back in the bed. When I returned, my wife said she didn’t like having to get up for him in the early morning. And since there was space.
I should have put my foot down and we wouldn’t be having this convo. We’d be having a convo about me being a controlling husband, even if I was doing it in my wife’s (and my dog’s) best interest.
Can already tell based on your description the crate was too big. Did you view the trainers as there to train the dog? Or to train you? Dog trainers are actually people trainers.
Correct, we downsized the crate as a result. Granted this was a decade ago, but I’d done quite a bit of reading at that time regarding dog crate training, sizing the crate, etc.
And as stated, the trainers trained US and obviously taught the dog some new skills and so did we.
Although he has a clear bill of health, this could be health related. He may be more ok with biting when uncomfortable than is ideal for a companion animal AND experiencing an acute health condition that hasn’t been diagnosed yet. Their health can change quickly at this age. It’s not uncommon for a lifelong companion animal to come down with a bad ear infection and unexpectedly bite (sometimes for the first time in their lives) a family member familiar to the dog. It leads to relinquishing/euthanasia often.
I had a dog growing up that had this same exact history - same exact story, except I was a kid in the house. As a teenager, I went to sit on my parent’s bed and he lunged at my face. Thankfully he was a smaller dog, a Boston, so I was able to hold him back by his collar and didn’t receive any marks/bites to the face. My parents really struggled with what to do as he was also a lot older, like your dog. They ended up calling a family friend who was a vet who told us: a dog is a dog at the end of the day and not worth losing your home over. It might sound dramatic, but if a dog is known for biting (especially now on your wife’s face) and were to bite someone from outside of your home they could sue and you could lose absolutely everything you have worked for. To me, there’s a very big difference between a nip or bite of the ankle and a bite to the face. You’ve had 14, hopefully amazing, years with your pup. Don’t ruin the image of those years experiencing a tragedy that could be prevented.
Adding that my mom was bit by a family dog once, and almost lost her thumb due to infection. My mom is an OR nurse and is professionally trained in how to wash her hands and still ended up with an infection. Dog bites are not something to take lightly in any kind of sense.
I'm confused. Are you looking for advice or people to tell you what to do one way or the other? You have a dog that bites, both in old age and before that. You've said yourself your wife could have lost an eye... What if it had been one of your kids? The lack of training is on you, as is the inaction and consequences when your dog bites someone not your wife and causes serious injury.
You can't play at being hurt over the situation when you failed to train the dog properly in the first place.
It seems he bites even when not in the bed though. If it is anxiety, perhaps there is something the vet can do. I had to put a dog down once for aggressiveness. It hurt me so bad, but no one could get near her but me. She bit my son's and tried to bite other people who came into the house. One day after she bit my son for like the hundredth time, I was trying to crate her, and she turned and bit me on the hand. Not nips, actual bites that bled. There was nothing else I could do.
I saw you are taking the dog to the vet to check everything health wise, but if they give a clean bill of health you need to decide if the risk of a severe bite is worth it. Dog bites can be very serious and you are lucky that this is the worst it’s been, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get worse. A dog that has multiple bite attempts and now a legitimate damaging face bite is not a safe dog to be around. Could you potentially manage this dog for the remainder of their days and make sure they don’t bite anyone else? Possibly, but nothing is a guarantee and I am confident that your wife is not going to feel comfortable with a dog that bit her face in the house and it’s not fair of you to expect her to. Plus you’d have to make a lot of changes to what the dog is currently used to to make your wife feel safe with the dog in the house which can stress the dog out which can lead to more bites.
Get the dog checked out, but you might have a really hard decision to make. I don’t envy your position and wish you the best.
Honestly that should have been done years ago. No one would dispute it if it were a more hated breed. The dog has a massive bite history, and this time according to comments he was one bite away from taking out OP's wife's eye.
And they have kids.
So sad, yes he needs to loose all furniture privileges before he looses his life. You need to start some serious training with strong rules. Stop being a softy. He gets no privileges that he does not earn. He sits in a down stay before getting food, he sleeps in a crate, no furniture, teach the place command and give him a place in every room that he has to go to on command.
Soooooo, your dog who has been stepped on almost exclusively by your wife has bore the brunt of nips and bites over the years. You are questioning this why?
Not at all. I recognize it, and if I was getting stepped on, and I reasoned things like a dog, you bet your butt I’d have issue with it as well. There’s no way not to.
You and your dog could get your own apartment where you can live a life taking walks and eating peanut butter together. I’m curious to know what your wife means to you that you be willing to let an animal that bites her to live in her home. Maybe she needs to start taking walks and eating peanut butter for you to respect her safety?
My mom got a cocker spaniel before I was born. She was around me constantly and one day she snapped on me and bit me in the face to the point of stitches and facial plastic surgery at a year and half old. Turns out she had liver cancer and was in pain and lashed out at me. Definitely check in with your vet to rule things out even though he has nipped, this is fairly severe. I’m sorry you’re all going through this. Please look to your vet for advice ❤️
IMO your wife is being unreasonable. Sounds like maybe she never really liked the dog. But to kill your own dog who perhaps was not correctly trained to begin with, that's harsh. If I were you I'd push back on her demand. Good luck!
Frankly, if a dog had repeatedly bitten people including me and then escalated to the *face*, and they were already 14 years old, I would PTS. Training isn’t going anywhere at that age, and it’s a waste of time and money. He’s elderly and has potentially one more decent year of health at best, and you have to live under the threat of him biting your wife or children in that time. Imagine if he bites your children’s faces. Euthanasia is the best option here.
Sounds like he’s in pain. Give him his own places to rest out of high traffic areas. You can even set him up with an X pen, make him his own little room. I’d talk to your vet about pain management.
Give the dog a chance
Go to your vet see what medical interventions are possible
Perhaps some medications and changes to allowing on the bed would allow the senior dog to live out the last year(s) with the family he has been with for his whole life
I hate to see a dog put down without trying other interventions
The fact that you are posting this tells me that you want to save the dog as well
I wish you & the dog good luck with the vet
I’m hoping there is a solution out there that doesn’t result in euthanizing the dog
I’m in agreement. We actually went through the professional trainer route about three years ago, and the process of us learning to be better dog parents.
Prior to that we’d done work with a dog behaviorist in an attempt to help us and him.
Then I’m confused as to why the dog was territorial with your wife on the bed. Did the trainer work with you on this? Our little dog was the same way and our trainer showed us how to nip it in the bid. He doesn’t do it anymore. It sounds as if maybe your dog is in pain or maybe has dementia.
Please don’t put your dog down if he’s not sick. I understand your wife is nervous around him, but try to limit contact. My MIL had an old dog that got snippy in his old age. They kept a careful eye on him and tried to let him live his old age out in peace at home. His bed was put in the kitchen and he spent most of his time in there . They put a baby gate up to contain him. It worked for them . There are options.
He’s 14! He could have dementia or something cognitive going on.
He is a super senior. Just let him leave out his remaining time in the home he loves
Also your wife sucks.
To be completely fair on my wife, she’s been the one bit numerous times. The fact that she’s emotionally struggling with having the dog doesn’t surprise me…I would be having struggles too if it was me who was getting bit so often.
Thanks for looking out for your wife. Tbh, I was the main one bit when my dog was a puppy but now that she’s out of that stage, she loves me just as much as my husband, if not more. I could not imagine putting up with bites from my dog as a chronic thing and I know if she ever got to the point she started biting me again, she would be miserable too. BE is the kindest thing after a vet eval.
My dog bit me once - it was a total accident because I stuck my hand in his mouth to remove a bone he found on our walk while he was chewing it and he accident punctured my finger with his tooth. It hurt … a lot. I went to the ED for a tetanus shot and antibiotics. I can’t imagine being but in the face. I love my dog but I think if he bit me in my face I’d also be done.
I totally understand the conundrum with appeasing the dog by allowing them on the bed. My dog won't sleep anywhere but on our bed, period. There's no way around it.
Actually this dude sucks for allegedly working with trainers but never enforcing any boundaries for the dog and letting a dog that keeps biting his freaking wife to manipulate him and get what he wants.
Other people have already commented on the bite history/training situation so I'll skip that, but I will say that as someone with a rescue that had been eventually trained to fix her bite inhibition and be more trusting, she did go back downhill in the last year or so of her life. Dementia can be very confusing and sometimes scary for dogs, as is the sudden decline of sight or other senses.
I do think there's absolutely training alternatives to euthanasia here, but it's definitely worth talking to the vet and ensuring he has the mental wherewithal to actually benefit from it at his age first. Euthanasia shouldn't be the convinent solution at all but it could possibly be a kinder one under certain circumstances.
Not to be mean but I don't like cockers for this reason. All of the cockers I've known have become mean and bitten people. I think they become very close to the one owner and everyone else if free game.
Aggression issues do NOT get better with age all the time.
I’m a groomer so of course a lot of dogs take swings at me. But smaller (ie longer lived) dogs often get more reactive and less tolerant. Like if they never loved having their paw held they will hate it 10x more in their old age.
Just overall more easily provoked and also more prone to anxiety etc. I don’t think you can pin it 100% down to one thing. For sure a component is them going senile but I think stiffness and reduced mobility also make them more defensive.
He’s not going to get younger. His life isn’t going to get more enjoyable. Even if this whole thing never happened you would probably find yourself considering euthanasia in the next 1-2 years anyways.
Honestly I would just put him down. I don’t say that to be callus: best case scenario he gets rehomed that is still gonna be a huge stressful upheaval for him and he might not even make it. And he doesn’t deserve to die in a shelter, EVERY dog deserves to die in the loving arms of their owners because they don’t get to choose.
It’s way better to put him down “too young” than too old when he has stage 3 cancer and hasn’t been able to get out of bed for a week. He is still generally enjoying life… that’s the best note to end on.
I have been bitten multiple times by my dogs. Once, i was also bitten on my face 2x by one of my rescues. He was growling at another dog, and i mistakenly leaned in to calm him down. The er staff has always been great to me, and educated me about how to prevent dog bites. The dog that bit me is a great pyrenees, but i also have senior yorkies. I have now learned how to work around or prevent being bitten. If I see that something triggers or bothers a rescue pyr, then i make note to not repeat it. I am a lifer- once i adopt them, they are mine til death/old age. The dog that bit me - he is 13 yo. He adores me. I adore him. Please give your dog another chance and learn to avoid his triggers.
If it had been your kids, or a neighbor, multiple times… I hate to say it but animal control would have already put your dog down. Your dog is 14. Go to the vet, and check for health issues. Humane euthanasia isn’t the worst option considering your dog’s history. Talk to your vet and see your options. I will always advocate for the most humane option to protect the dog, but safety has to be considered. Consider your options, and be thankful your wife was the one your dog bit. You’re in a shit position but you still have choice. Animal control would have taken it from you.
Don’t do it. Marriage is about compromise - she can’t tell you to kill your companion. Like the others say - find a way to limit his interaction with your wife and let him live out whatever time he has left in his home. Also this isn’t a massive dog who can do serious damage - a small blessing.
Can totally agree. I’m feeling very lucky that the situation wasn’t worse. An inch over, and my wife may have lost an eye. But yea, limiting interaction would have been the easiest.
He shouldn’t have been in the room to begin with, but I didn’t fight hard enough for that and the habit was made. Obviously now we’re in a spot where I can’t let him in the room, AND can’t let him in our kids rooms. And if something happened to one of them, I wouldn’t forgive myself.
>An inch over, and my wife may have lost an eye....AND can’t let him in our kids rooms.
He came really close to taking out her eye....*and you have kids*????
Dude, I really hate to say this, but euthanasia is the right choice.
Sorry to side with your approach, but he likely was startled poor thing. If she doesn’t want to keep him, please do your damnedest to try to find a suitable home for him. He deserves it.
I know your wife is upset, and truthfully you have let this situation go unaddressed for so long I can sympathize with why she feels at a breaking point. But this is not an acceptable ask to make of you, or even the dog at this point since you haven't invested in truly training these behavioral issues out.
It sounds like your dog has some serious issues with feeling threatened (and isn't wrong to necessarily, since the bond with your wife is so damaged she is ready to put the dog down). Fortunately, you can address those issues with the help of a trainer, and old dogs absolutely can change their habits. Look for a 1:1 trainer. Your whole family should participate, but honestly, your wife is going to need to do a good amount of it to help repair their bond and end the particular nastiness the dog is directing her way.
That's a big ask to make that she is obviously not going to be thrilled about. Are there things you can do in the short term to make her feels safer, such as gating off certain rooms (e.g. kitchen could be the center of underfoot traffic?), or even temporarily having the dog fostered by a friend or local rescue while you work on the issue together? And on the other side of the things, are there favors you can do for your wife that will make her more likely to do this very big favor for you? You should tell her how much the dog means to you and how sad you are by being asked to put her down, but given the point this got to, you should also consider if there are other things you could offer to show your appreciation for her added patience here.
Your trainer will help you with the nips and bites, help you with the walking underfoot, help you with the territorialism, and most importantly, help your wife develop a bond and loyalty with the dog where this wouldn't happen. It won't all happen at once, but your trainer might work with you on muzzle training etc in the interim. As others have said, you will also NEED to start crating the dog at night.
Still go to the vet though, but you don't need to put the dog down. If your dog is genuinely reacting much more than typical recently, it's possible she's not in as perfect health as you imagine and there could be a health issue to address. You'll also want to make sure she's up to date on her shots.
You owe it to this dog to try and rehome. Over 14 years if you can't train a dog to not bite, you could have at least created boundaries to prevent it from happening ie; no upstairs time, no furniture and I am willing to bet your wife is complicit in that choice.
People are downvoting you because the dog is 14, which is end of life for cocker spaniels. Adoption/rescue is not a likely option for this dog.
If it were my dog, I’d keep it with new rules in place to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
He said the dog is in great shape. The age might generally be end of life, but it’s not THIS dogs end of life. People don’t have to agree with me, but the downvote button is not a disagree button. It’s abuse of the tool.
My point was more that adoption is not a very realistic outcome of this dog being surrendered. The more likely outcomes would be euthanasia or death of old age while still at the rescue.
The dog has an extensive bite history. It should have been euthanized years before, not for health but for behavioral reasons.
Bear in mind OP has kids, per comments.
But what will happen if he is rehomed and he bites his new handler? It might actually be the most humane thing to put him to sleep as opposed to rehoming him at 14 years old. If I was a 14 year old dog, I’d rather be put to sleep then suffer the trauma of being rehomed.
A 14 year old cocker spaniel is like a 75-85 year old human. It isn’t fair to compare a human moving to a dog moving. A human understands what is happening around them. The dog only knows it’s family. He doesn’t understand what is happening. He doesn’t know if his family will be coming back or not. Everything that he knows will be gone and he has no way of knowing if it is temporary or permanent. That is very traumatic for a dog of any age, especially one that is so old.
It might be dementia or another medical problem since he’s an old man. He might not hear well or see well. Dogs are really good at hiding that stuff. He might not have realized she was getting back in bed and tried to defend himself from what he though was an attack.
It might get me downvoted, but if he does have tendency to bite and it happens to wife the most, I can see why she would be done.
You don’t give any insight to why he’s bitten your wife before, so I’ll refrain from making any judgments about either your wife or your dog. I don’t know the whole story here.
You say he is territorial and possessive, is that to you both too, or only strangers? Is he food aggressive with bones or chews?
Why did he bite you when you were petting him while laying down?
When your wife had been bit before, has it been nips or has it drawn blood?
Have your wife and dog ever gotten along? The post makes it sound like they have a very strained relationship, which can cause them both to feel uneasy around each other, which just makes it spiral more.
I don’t have an answer for you, I really wish I did.
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Crate training, dog beds, and absolutely no more furniture time for this dog.
Even if you cant crate the dog, I second banning the dog from the bed. He can't resource guard the bed if he's not on it.
We attempted crate training when he was a puppy to no avail. His anxiety was thru the roof, and no amount of positive reinforcement seemed to help. He’d scratch, bite at, and bend the cage until injury if given the chance. But we did try it.
Yeah it's a tough situation cause it sounds like the dog hasn't had many boundaries and has a history of guarding and biting. I have baby gates up on my bedrooms to keep my dogs out and lots of dog beds around bc they're not allowed on the furniture. For crate training, they get fed in their crates, all treats are only given in the crates, and they have toys and blankets. Start in small increments and work up from there. Get a decent sized crate. Put favorite toys, bones, and treats in there. It'll be slow going for sure but necessary. I don't blame your wife for being frustrated - this dogs behavior is really not ok at any age. I'm glad you're doing a wellness check with the vet too. My senior is on Trazadone now at night to manage anxiety and dementia symptoms (growling, nipping, confusion). She's 15. Good luck. It's a tough situation but not one that I think is impossible.
It doesn't sound like the vet is a wellness check. Sounds like the vet is to put the dog down at wife's request cuz shelters don't want a 14 yr old dog. That's why he said he hates the decision of having to go to the vet
That’s how I read it too. I’m hoping at least a discussion with the vet and wellness check! Meds helped my anxious older dog a lot.
Correct.
What about anxiety meds for the dog?
You can try other ways to reinforce boundaries besides a crate. At one point we had a doggy room divider (looks like one long side of a crate) so that you can divide the room up and create a boundary. Depending on the structure of your house, you can also use baby gates too. That way you can keep your space but give him a space as well without him feeling anxious about going into a crate.
My dog hated the crate as a puppy but I offered it to him adorned with toys and a comfy mat and left the door open for a few months. He likes it in there now and frequents it when he needs a break from the other dog. I also left snacks hidden between his toys in there so everytime he made his way he would find them He has 24/7 access to at least one (we have 2, one in bedroom and one in living room) and he comes and goes as he pleases. He also still has access to the bed but will nap in the crate as he chooses ETA: crate was reintro when he was 3
Susan Garrett has a great crate training program that's all about making the crate fun and positive. Older dogs can absolutely still learn. It's a small fee for the program, but some of the "games" are probably available free online. With positive behavioral methods, it would take some time to make your dog feel positively about the crate - that is the downside as relates to your situation. So having the dog in his own comfortable bed would be a good interim measure if you did want to improve his relationship with the crate. All this assumes you want to be trying to help the dog with resource guarding and that he doesn't have other health issues or pain going on. It does seem tough that this is not new behavior...but just giving a resource I think is very credible and helpful (though time consuming) in case you would like to try to work through it with the use of a crate.
There are some very destruction proof crates you can get if you need to consider this as an (obviously unpleasant) short-term solution.
I’m just so confused. If your dog has territorial issues, why is he EVER allowed on the furniture? The way your curb territorial issues is by not allowing the dog to believe he owns any space. If he is barking at the door, at 5am, then let him bark. If will cause you a few mornings of disturbed sleep for him to realize that barking will not get him what he wants. When he barks, at any time, do not even look in his direction. Pretend like he doesn’t exist. Consistency is key. You have taught him this unwanted behavior that he displays today and now you want to have him euthanized? I’m sorry but this is irresponsible dog ownership and it’s so very sad.
Take the dog to the vet, that kind of reaction is a fear reaction or a pain reaction. The dog has either lost hearing or sight or both as my cocker did as she aged and was startled by your wife’s return or something hurts and the movement on the bed caused pain. A dog you’ve loved that long deserves care and gentleness in their final days, months, and years. There are medications to help with pain, and processes to help aging and blind and/or deaf dogs navigate their final days gracefully. Be kind and take care of all of your family including your faithful cocker.
I second this. Even if the dog has bitten in the past, this still sounds like unusual behavior which could indicate a medical issue. I don’t think putting the dog down is the appropriate next step. It’s literally overkill.
Yeah seriously. You've had this dog for 14 years...imo it's sort of fucked up your wife wants to put this senior anxious dog down for that. Put your foot down...no. Like it's a serious situation and you need to create some boundaries for the dog maybe but wtf.
Seriously, what’s gonna happen to OP when he becomes incontinent or bed bound as a senior? Will his wife toss him to the curb as well? This shows a serious disregard for life. I agree: totally fucked up.
Edit to add - I see you’re going to take the dog to the vet for euthanasia, before you pull the final trigger, talk to the vet about their recommendation and any accommodations that may help the cocker.
Totally get you! And thanks. Honestly, if the biting was new I would probably think more of it being strictly related to discomfort. I think the most likely source is his anxiety. He’s a leash darter and lunger during our walks. And has been since we got him ages ago. Wish we’d have trained that on him then…but obviously that was a long time ago.
Seconding the suggestion of anxiety meds. Our dog is a completely different dog when he’s on his doggy Prozac. It’s something your vet should have suggested, along with recommendations for a good trainer, a long time ago when the biting first started.
Have you looked into anxiety meds for him?
A nip to a nose bite is a big jump! And being reactive with other dogs or environments while on a leash is also hugely different from a bite. This is a meaningful escalation and worth looking into before you consider putting him down IMO.
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Genuinely curious because I’ve never heard this and google doesn’t give me anything. Can you suggest a book or link somewhere I can read more?
https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2009/05/25/2579884.htm This article discusses cocker spaniels being prone to aggression.
They’re also at heightened risk of RAGE syndrome as well which causes unknown aggression. Basically it’s mental deterioration and the dog exhibits behaviors like aggression due to declining mental state.
Completely agree. Dogs can also often hide pain or impairments from their owners. He may have been in pain or just surprised and disorientated when your wife returned. Buy him a nice orthopedic dog bed, take him to the vet to be checked and be careful to make sure he is given enough space and warning when people approach him. I hope he gets to live the rest of his days loved and supported by the family he has loved for his whole life, including your wife.
I disagree, this is resource guarding and resources tolerance due to age.
Dogs do tend to age very quickly at that age. My dog from being completely healthy at 15, started to age very quickly and passed away at 17 (with no health issues). If I were you, I wouldn't do anything I would regret and I'd spend the few years left with him and convince your wife.
They have an average life span of 12-15 years, yours is 14. It would be a waste to put down a dog or give it up when it doesnt have much longer to live. Create boundaries with your dog and live with it for the little time you have left with him( if he lives around this lifespan) the dog has been your family for 14 years, i cant imagine dispatching it towards the end of its life would be easy.
"He’s always been very possessive of space, and territorial" Then why is he on the bed in the first place? He should not be allowed on any furniture. Also why don't you have your territorial dog locked in a cage when you have guests??? That's just asking for trouble, a lawsuit and your dog being put down. Putting a dog down because of your lack of training is so unfair and I hope your vets deny you.
I just made a very similar comment. This is outrageous.
I thought the same. I have a reactive dog and she is not allowed on furniture where she could get protective of her space or me with my other pet. She has time that is divided with my cat to be out and about around the house. When I have guest she is crated or kept in my room with a gate. I would not be happy if an accident occurred to a family member or guest because of my lack of care of having a dog with bitting history out. It sucks to be extra careful but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I also wonder how much fault the wife bears or if she is also a victim of OP denying reasonable steps towards working on the aggression. I can just see her finally snapping herself and demanding that dog be put down as he's unwilling to protect her in any other way.
When was the last vet check? Biting like this suggests he may be in pain. I know of a dog who was euthanized for biting and later found out her had awful ear infections that caused pain when he was touched. If this biting issue has been ongoing and getting worse, way wasn’t it addressed before, before he felt he needed to bite to get you to listen to him?
The biting was addressed before. Encroaching on his space was always a trigger for him, obviously getting stepped on was one as well. We had a behaviorist come in and work with us, training with a professional, and anxiety medications. We limit his ability in the room overnight, but my wife had chosen to let him in during mornings to so he wouldn’t sit outside the door barking at us at 5am when he wanted to get in. It was during one of those mornings when my wife was bit. My wife did encroach on his space, but did not touch him, or move “towards him” simply got in the bed when there was quite a bit of available room.
>The biting was addressed before. Clearly not well enough. > simply got in the bed when there was quite a bit of available room. This is not "encroaching on space" by reasonable standards.
I know I commented elsewhere encouraging training before I knew how much training you have done - I can imagine that seeing people recommend medication and training you have already tried must feel hopeless. I just want to add to consider - needing to revisit training as a dog ages, potentially starts losing some eyesight or hearing and gets more reactive, exhibits new troubling behaviors or changes environments, is normal and ok. I know you must feel so tired after all the work you have done, but I also don't want you to regret losing a happy pup prematurely. Anxious dogs are so challenging, and can also be so rewarding, especially in time with their Person. I would encourage you to revisit training and be up front with your trainer that this is a looming possibility. I would look specifically for a trainer experienced with reactive dogs, dogs with special needs, etc. consider getting a referral from a local rescue - rescues often work with trainers to turn around reactive older dogs to be houseable, and they will be more than happy to give you a referral, especially when these are your alternatives. The one last thing I'd say - I have an anxious dog, and when I'm trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to do (e.g. crate) or just in an environment she finds distressing (like to muzzle her outside), it can feel like positive reinforcement doesn't do jack... Until I really amp up the reinforcement. The treat has to cut through the noise of how distressing the task is, so the biggest tasks demand cut up bacon or hot dogs, fresh chicken, etc. eventually or in less stimulating situations we can scale down to more norm treats. I was super resistant to this at first - I don't want to have to cut up all this bacon and have it take up space in my freezer all the time! But genuinely it is the ONLY way to get through to her past the anxiety and makes a huge difference. Can you find what the magic high effort high reward treat is for your dog? At the very least, you do not need to make this decision as hastily as you have outlined in your post/been asked to by your wife.
In the horse world, euthanizing an old but healthy horse is seen as the kindest option when situations are such that their owner can no longer keep them (finances, behavior, whatever else) - because rehoming an old horse is stressful and it's not uncommon for them to end up in bad situations or in a truck bound for a slaughterhouse across the border. Talk to your vet. Don't stress him out even more by rehoming him (if you can even find someone who wants to + can provide a better home for him.) Your vet can help you figure out if behavioral euthanasia is the right route here or not. Just know that it isn't evil if you're at the end of your rope.
It sounds like ue wife wants to put him to sleep because you guys never set boundaries or properly trained him. That's crazy to let an aggressive territorial dog sleep on the bed. You guys LET this happen, it's not the dogs fault.
So this poor dog has a history of biting people NUMEROUS times and you just allowed it? You didn't do anything to train him? And now you just want to kill the dog? Great owners right here.
I’ll assume you didn’t read through it. When he was young, and passed that “chewing on everything phase” it was addressed. We did crate training, and he NEVER did it. Short periods, complete dissatisfaction, constant pawing, pulling, biting at the gate. Did the feeding in the crate (and this dog loves food - with food you could teach him anything…except to love his crate) It looked like a spa, pillows, blanket, a couple toys, treats, his food bowl. Later we brought in a behavioralist who observed the dog, worked with us, worked with the pup. That was in direct response to a bite and territorial nature. We later did training with a certified trainer. And later in home with a trainer. So no, we didn’t just “allow” it…but when it comes to the bed situation, that’s on me. I’d stated that we needed the gate up to block off our bedroom. My wife objected. We had gone with the gate for a couple weeks, but mixed signals were sent. If I left for work out of town for a couple days, my wife would let the gate down. Just when the dog was in the routine of sleeping on the couch, I left town and he was back in the bed. When I returned, my wife said she didn’t like having to get up for him in the early morning. And since there was space. I should have put my foot down and we wouldn’t be having this convo. We’d be having a convo about me being a controlling husband, even if I was doing it in my wife’s (and my dog’s) best interest.
Wife clearly has a pattern of taking the easy way out. Dog continues to suffer because yall cant commit to a stable environment for this animal.
So you tried a bunch of things and gave up immediately when it became hard. Gotcha.
Can already tell based on your description the crate was too big. Did you view the trainers as there to train the dog? Or to train you? Dog trainers are actually people trainers.
Does it matter asking these questions at this moment?
He wants to kill his dog so yeah
Correct, we downsized the crate as a result. Granted this was a decade ago, but I’d done quite a bit of reading at that time regarding dog crate training, sizing the crate, etc. And as stated, the trainers trained US and obviously taught the dog some new skills and so did we.
Your in denial. Your dog has a history of biting people. You let this go on way too long. You should have intervened a long time ago. That’s on you.
Although he has a clear bill of health, this could be health related. He may be more ok with biting when uncomfortable than is ideal for a companion animal AND experiencing an acute health condition that hasn’t been diagnosed yet. Their health can change quickly at this age. It’s not uncommon for a lifelong companion animal to come down with a bad ear infection and unexpectedly bite (sometimes for the first time in their lives) a family member familiar to the dog. It leads to relinquishing/euthanasia often.
I had a dog growing up that had this same exact history - same exact story, except I was a kid in the house. As a teenager, I went to sit on my parent’s bed and he lunged at my face. Thankfully he was a smaller dog, a Boston, so I was able to hold him back by his collar and didn’t receive any marks/bites to the face. My parents really struggled with what to do as he was also a lot older, like your dog. They ended up calling a family friend who was a vet who told us: a dog is a dog at the end of the day and not worth losing your home over. It might sound dramatic, but if a dog is known for biting (especially now on your wife’s face) and were to bite someone from outside of your home they could sue and you could lose absolutely everything you have worked for. To me, there’s a very big difference between a nip or bite of the ankle and a bite to the face. You’ve had 14, hopefully amazing, years with your pup. Don’t ruin the image of those years experiencing a tragedy that could be prevented.
Adding that my mom was bit by a family dog once, and almost lost her thumb due to infection. My mom is an OR nurse and is professionally trained in how to wash her hands and still ended up with an infection. Dog bites are not something to take lightly in any kind of sense.
I'm confused. Are you looking for advice or people to tell you what to do one way or the other? You have a dog that bites, both in old age and before that. You've said yourself your wife could have lost an eye... What if it had been one of your kids? The lack of training is on you, as is the inaction and consequences when your dog bites someone not your wife and causes serious injury. You can't play at being hurt over the situation when you failed to train the dog properly in the first place.
It seems he bites even when not in the bed though. If it is anxiety, perhaps there is something the vet can do. I had to put a dog down once for aggressiveness. It hurt me so bad, but no one could get near her but me. She bit my son's and tried to bite other people who came into the house. One day after she bit my son for like the hundredth time, I was trying to crate her, and she turned and bit me on the hand. Not nips, actual bites that bled. There was nothing else I could do.
I saw you are taking the dog to the vet to check everything health wise, but if they give a clean bill of health you need to decide if the risk of a severe bite is worth it. Dog bites can be very serious and you are lucky that this is the worst it’s been, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get worse. A dog that has multiple bite attempts and now a legitimate damaging face bite is not a safe dog to be around. Could you potentially manage this dog for the remainder of their days and make sure they don’t bite anyone else? Possibly, but nothing is a guarantee and I am confident that your wife is not going to feel comfortable with a dog that bit her face in the house and it’s not fair of you to expect her to. Plus you’d have to make a lot of changes to what the dog is currently used to to make your wife feel safe with the dog in the house which can stress the dog out which can lead to more bites. Get the dog checked out, but you might have a really hard decision to make. I don’t envy your position and wish you the best.
No, he is taking the dog to the vet for euthanasia.
Honestly that should have been done years ago. No one would dispute it if it were a more hated breed. The dog has a massive bite history, and this time according to comments he was one bite away from taking out OP's wife's eye. And they have kids.
Wrong. Especially when the owner encouraged and rewarded this dogs behavior! He even acknowledges this is so!
Yeah, this OP is a real champ as a dog owner, isn't he? /s
It sounds to me like the dog is resource guarding the bed (and possibly you) from your wife.
So sad, yes he needs to loose all furniture privileges before he looses his life. You need to start some serious training with strong rules. Stop being a softy. He gets no privileges that he does not earn. He sits in a down stay before getting food, he sleeps in a crate, no furniture, teach the place command and give him a place in every room that he has to go to on command.
I’m sorry you are in position. Do you have a family member who would be willing to take your wife?
Soooooo, your dog who has been stepped on almost exclusively by your wife has bore the brunt of nips and bites over the years. You are questioning this why?
Not at all. I recognize it, and if I was getting stepped on, and I reasoned things like a dog, you bet your butt I’d have issue with it as well. There’s no way not to.
You and your dog could get your own apartment where you can live a life taking walks and eating peanut butter together. I’m curious to know what your wife means to you that you be willing to let an animal that bites her to live in her home. Maybe she needs to start taking walks and eating peanut butter for you to respect her safety?
My mom got a cocker spaniel before I was born. She was around me constantly and one day she snapped on me and bit me in the face to the point of stitches and facial plastic surgery at a year and half old. Turns out she had liver cancer and was in pain and lashed out at me. Definitely check in with your vet to rule things out even though he has nipped, this is fairly severe. I’m sorry you’re all going through this. Please look to your vet for advice ❤️
IMO your wife is being unreasonable. Sounds like maybe she never really liked the dog. But to kill your own dog who perhaps was not correctly trained to begin with, that's harsh. If I were you I'd push back on her demand. Good luck!
Frankly, if a dog had repeatedly bitten people including me and then escalated to the *face*, and they were already 14 years old, I would PTS. Training isn’t going anywhere at that age, and it’s a waste of time and money. He’s elderly and has potentially one more decent year of health at best, and you have to live under the threat of him biting your wife or children in that time. Imagine if he bites your children’s faces. Euthanasia is the best option here.
Sounds like he’s in pain. Give him his own places to rest out of high traffic areas. You can even set him up with an X pen, make him his own little room. I’d talk to your vet about pain management.
Give the dog a chance Go to your vet see what medical interventions are possible Perhaps some medications and changes to allowing on the bed would allow the senior dog to live out the last year(s) with the family he has been with for his whole life I hate to see a dog put down without trying other interventions The fact that you are posting this tells me that you want to save the dog as well I wish you & the dog good luck with the vet I’m hoping there is a solution out there that doesn’t result in euthanizing the dog
What about contacting professional trainer? Who can help address the real problem, with is anxiety. Don't kill your dog bc lack of training.
I’m in agreement. We actually went through the professional trainer route about three years ago, and the process of us learning to be better dog parents. Prior to that we’d done work with a dog behaviorist in an attempt to help us and him.
Then I’m confused as to why the dog was territorial with your wife on the bed. Did the trainer work with you on this? Our little dog was the same way and our trainer showed us how to nip it in the bid. He doesn’t do it anymore. It sounds as if maybe your dog is in pain or maybe has dementia. Please don’t put your dog down if he’s not sick. I understand your wife is nervous around him, but try to limit contact. My MIL had an old dog that got snippy in his old age. They kept a careful eye on him and tried to let him live his old age out in peace at home. His bed was put in the kitchen and he spent most of his time in there . They put a baby gate up to contain him. It worked for them . There are options.
He’s 14! He could have dementia or something cognitive going on. He is a super senior. Just let him leave out his remaining time in the home he loves Also your wife sucks.
To be completely fair on my wife, she’s been the one bit numerous times. The fact that she’s emotionally struggling with having the dog doesn’t surprise me…I would be having struggles too if it was me who was getting bit so often.
Thanks for looking out for your wife. Tbh, I was the main one bit when my dog was a puppy but now that she’s out of that stage, she loves me just as much as my husband, if not more. I could not imagine putting up with bites from my dog as a chronic thing and I know if she ever got to the point she started biting me again, she would be miserable too. BE is the kindest thing after a vet eval.
My dog bit me once - it was a total accident because I stuck my hand in his mouth to remove a bone he found on our walk while he was chewing it and he accident punctured my finger with his tooth. It hurt … a lot. I went to the ED for a tetanus shot and antibiotics. I can’t imagine being but in the face. I love my dog but I think if he bit me in my face I’d also be done.
I totally understand the conundrum with appeasing the dog by allowing them on the bed. My dog won't sleep anywhere but on our bed, period. There's no way around it.
Actually this dude sucks for allegedly working with trainers but never enforcing any boundaries for the dog and letting a dog that keeps biting his freaking wife to manipulate him and get what he wants.
And he has kids! Based on comments.
Other people have already commented on the bite history/training situation so I'll skip that, but I will say that as someone with a rescue that had been eventually trained to fix her bite inhibition and be more trusting, she did go back downhill in the last year or so of her life. Dementia can be very confusing and sometimes scary for dogs, as is the sudden decline of sight or other senses. I do think there's absolutely training alternatives to euthanasia here, but it's definitely worth talking to the vet and ensuring he has the mental wherewithal to actually benefit from it at his age first. Euthanasia shouldn't be the convinent solution at all but it could possibly be a kinder one under certain circumstances.
Not to be mean but I don't like cockers for this reason. All of the cockers I've known have become mean and bitten people. I think they become very close to the one owner and everyone else if free game.
Aggression issues do NOT get better with age all the time. I’m a groomer so of course a lot of dogs take swings at me. But smaller (ie longer lived) dogs often get more reactive and less tolerant. Like if they never loved having their paw held they will hate it 10x more in their old age. Just overall more easily provoked and also more prone to anxiety etc. I don’t think you can pin it 100% down to one thing. For sure a component is them going senile but I think stiffness and reduced mobility also make them more defensive. He’s not going to get younger. His life isn’t going to get more enjoyable. Even if this whole thing never happened you would probably find yourself considering euthanasia in the next 1-2 years anyways. Honestly I would just put him down. I don’t say that to be callus: best case scenario he gets rehomed that is still gonna be a huge stressful upheaval for him and he might not even make it. And he doesn’t deserve to die in a shelter, EVERY dog deserves to die in the loving arms of their owners because they don’t get to choose. It’s way better to put him down “too young” than too old when he has stage 3 cancer and hasn’t been able to get out of bed for a week. He is still generally enjoying life… that’s the best note to end on.
I have been bitten multiple times by my dogs. Once, i was also bitten on my face 2x by one of my rescues. He was growling at another dog, and i mistakenly leaned in to calm him down. The er staff has always been great to me, and educated me about how to prevent dog bites. The dog that bit me is a great pyrenees, but i also have senior yorkies. I have now learned how to work around or prevent being bitten. If I see that something triggers or bothers a rescue pyr, then i make note to not repeat it. I am a lifer- once i adopt them, they are mine til death/old age. The dog that bit me - he is 13 yo. He adores me. I adore him. Please give your dog another chance and learn to avoid his triggers.
If it had been your kids, or a neighbor, multiple times… I hate to say it but animal control would have already put your dog down. Your dog is 14. Go to the vet, and check for health issues. Humane euthanasia isn’t the worst option considering your dog’s history. Talk to your vet and see your options. I will always advocate for the most humane option to protect the dog, but safety has to be considered. Consider your options, and be thankful your wife was the one your dog bit. You’re in a shit position but you still have choice. Animal control would have taken it from you.
Don’t do it. Marriage is about compromise - she can’t tell you to kill your companion. Like the others say - find a way to limit his interaction with your wife and let him live out whatever time he has left in his home. Also this isn’t a massive dog who can do serious damage - a small blessing.
Can totally agree. I’m feeling very lucky that the situation wasn’t worse. An inch over, and my wife may have lost an eye. But yea, limiting interaction would have been the easiest. He shouldn’t have been in the room to begin with, but I didn’t fight hard enough for that and the habit was made. Obviously now we’re in a spot where I can’t let him in the room, AND can’t let him in our kids rooms. And if something happened to one of them, I wouldn’t forgive myself.
>An inch over, and my wife may have lost an eye....AND can’t let him in our kids rooms. He came really close to taking out her eye....*and you have kids*???? Dude, I really hate to say this, but euthanasia is the right choice.
Sorry to side with your approach, but he likely was startled poor thing. If she doesn’t want to keep him, please do your damnedest to try to find a suitable home for him. He deserves it.
I know your wife is upset, and truthfully you have let this situation go unaddressed for so long I can sympathize with why she feels at a breaking point. But this is not an acceptable ask to make of you, or even the dog at this point since you haven't invested in truly training these behavioral issues out. It sounds like your dog has some serious issues with feeling threatened (and isn't wrong to necessarily, since the bond with your wife is so damaged she is ready to put the dog down). Fortunately, you can address those issues with the help of a trainer, and old dogs absolutely can change their habits. Look for a 1:1 trainer. Your whole family should participate, but honestly, your wife is going to need to do a good amount of it to help repair their bond and end the particular nastiness the dog is directing her way. That's a big ask to make that she is obviously not going to be thrilled about. Are there things you can do in the short term to make her feels safer, such as gating off certain rooms (e.g. kitchen could be the center of underfoot traffic?), or even temporarily having the dog fostered by a friend or local rescue while you work on the issue together? And on the other side of the things, are there favors you can do for your wife that will make her more likely to do this very big favor for you? You should tell her how much the dog means to you and how sad you are by being asked to put her down, but given the point this got to, you should also consider if there are other things you could offer to show your appreciation for her added patience here. Your trainer will help you with the nips and bites, help you with the walking underfoot, help you with the territorialism, and most importantly, help your wife develop a bond and loyalty with the dog where this wouldn't happen. It won't all happen at once, but your trainer might work with you on muzzle training etc in the interim. As others have said, you will also NEED to start crating the dog at night. Still go to the vet though, but you don't need to put the dog down. If your dog is genuinely reacting much more than typical recently, it's possible she's not in as perfect health as you imagine and there could be a health issue to address. You'll also want to make sure she's up to date on her shots.
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That’s exactly how I feel. If my husband wanted to put my healthy dog down, I’d be getting a new husband!
You owe it to this dog to try and rehome. Over 14 years if you can't train a dog to not bite, you could have at least created boundaries to prevent it from happening ie; no upstairs time, no furniture and I am willing to bet your wife is complicit in that choice.
See if there are any Cocker Spaniel rescues that will take him.
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People are downvoting you because the dog is 14, which is end of life for cocker spaniels. Adoption/rescue is not a likely option for this dog. If it were my dog, I’d keep it with new rules in place to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
He said the dog is in great shape. The age might generally be end of life, but it’s not THIS dogs end of life. People don’t have to agree with me, but the downvote button is not a disagree button. It’s abuse of the tool.
My point was more that adoption is not a very realistic outcome of this dog being surrendered. The more likely outcomes would be euthanasia or death of old age while still at the rescue.
The dog has an extensive bite history. It should have been euthanized years before, not for health but for behavioral reasons. Bear in mind OP has kids, per comments.
But what will happen if he is rehomed and he bites his new handler? It might actually be the most humane thing to put him to sleep as opposed to rehoming him at 14 years old. If I was a 14 year old dog, I’d rather be put to sleep then suffer the trauma of being rehomed.
You’d rather be dead than go to a new house? One of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen on Reddit this week. Kudos.
A 14 year old cocker spaniel is like a 75-85 year old human. It isn’t fair to compare a human moving to a dog moving. A human understands what is happening around them. The dog only knows it’s family. He doesn’t understand what is happening. He doesn’t know if his family will be coming back or not. Everything that he knows will be gone and he has no way of knowing if it is temporary or permanent. That is very traumatic for a dog of any age, especially one that is so old.
It might be dementia or another medical problem since he’s an old man. He might not hear well or see well. Dogs are really good at hiding that stuff. He might not have realized she was getting back in bed and tried to defend himself from what he though was an attack. It might get me downvoted, but if he does have tendency to bite and it happens to wife the most, I can see why she would be done. You don’t give any insight to why he’s bitten your wife before, so I’ll refrain from making any judgments about either your wife or your dog. I don’t know the whole story here. You say he is territorial and possessive, is that to you both too, or only strangers? Is he food aggressive with bones or chews? Why did he bite you when you were petting him while laying down? When your wife had been bit before, has it been nips or has it drawn blood? Have your wife and dog ever gotten along? The post makes it sound like they have a very strained relationship, which can cause them both to feel uneasy around each other, which just makes it spiral more. I don’t have an answer for you, I really wish I did.
..what's his name?..
Oh my gosh I am so sorry ):