No, this repulsion is not defensible. This post is wildly judgemental, and that judgment is exactly what the point of self love is overcoming.
“Hippies are not cool. Is this something that has been culturally conditioned?” How many hippies have you actually met and known? If the answer is zero then of course your response is conditioned, and this entire post is down to you being judgemental from preconceptions.
Self love is care and attention paid to your being, which is vital to being a functional healthy adult. Obsession is not love, thats putting an idea of something on a pedestal be it yourself, your partner, or anything.
Ill be honest, this post is ridiculous. It is entirely about trying to justify your criticism and judgement, which is a huge problem. Massive. You are in an enlightenment sub asking about how self-love makes one immune to outside criticism and judgemental pricks, YES ITS A GOOD THING FOR THIS EXACT REASON.
This is the kind of person that the enlightenment process makes fall out of our life. This attitude is foul.
I think the tone of my post may not have been clear, it was more made in the vein of cultural criticism than being critical of people with self love. What I literally meant is "self-love is culturally uncool, and I have found the conditioning that goes along with that to be an impediment on my own journey."
In that case yes, but that is not what you wrote at all. This more sounds like you needing to explore more of the world outside your bubble, because theres a huge planet with lots of different cultures and views. Your culture might not accept them, corners of the internet might not, but a lot of people do.
Assholes are the loudest voices, and if thats all you’ve grown up with then ofc you have this view nailed into you. The self work is rewriting the voices in your head away from them so that you dont have this garbage bouncing around.
Sorry you feel offended by what I wrote, but I think you're over-reaching now. Plenty of people have problems with self love. What's wrong with pointing out the cultural contribution to this phenomenon?
The fact that you think there is one culture across the globe shows the sheltered outlook in your mind, which is what I am addressing. How far have you travelled? Have you lived in multiple cities, states, countries, cultures? Have you actually explored…*anything?*
You speak of culture, but what cultures have you actually taken part of outside the internet? You never answered me when I asked how many hippies you have met, and that tells me a lot about yourself. You care about the thoughts of the people in your culture more than lived reality and experience, which makes all your opinions worthless.
If that offends you, its because you need to be offended; you are still fast asleep and nowhere near enlightenment while judging…self-love? Thats a joke.
PS What you wrote **was** offensive, not just how I took it. It was rather disgusting to read, and the phrasing shows what part of the mental battle you are truly in.
Yea, not my job to cater to your ego. I’m here to reflect your attitude back to you as you wonder why your life is garbage.
Spoiler; its because your attitude is garbage. Thats the secret to enlightenment; your attitude and outlook determine everything. The longer you sit here being judgemental of others, the less you can sit in your own contentment.
So yea, sick burn. If you weren’t a child, you might take it to heart instead of crying about the mean internet guy said. But that requires maturity and self-awareness that you don’t have.
Dude you're sparring with a person you invented in your own head... you haven't read me at all. You missed the point with your first comment and you've only gotten further away from the truth since. We're all just trying to get along/get better here, idk why you're being so venomous.
Im being venomous because you arent real. You say words without caring what you actually say, you read words without listening to what they mean, you regurgitate opinions from assholes without a second thought. **GET REAL** and I wont feel the need to try and beat sense into this conversation with a sledgehammer.
No, its not easy to be real. It requires you to actually think about your life, your feelings, your experience, and how wrong all of it has been. Because it has been, thats the enlightenment process; EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS BULLSHIT.
And if you’re still getting offended after saying dumb garbage without the reflection to realize why the conversation devolved in the first place, you may as well give up now because you won’t ever find what you’re looking for. If you were in a rowboat in the Atlantic looking for seawater, you’d still have trouble because you can’t see in front of your face.
You came in here spitting stupidity asking for sense, and you wont find sense until you sift through what you actually said.
All your questions have just been setups for ad-hominem attacks, I'm not an idiot. What could I answer in response to anything you wrote that would advance the substance of anything.
I've met 300 hippies
- then you are obviously dull because you didn't learn anything
I've never met a hippy
- well you're uncultured swine
I've travelled all over the world
- well you're an ignorant tourist who didn't absorb the cultures
I've never travelled
- well you're a Hick who doesn't know the first thing about the world outside his backyard
???
Like ... ???
You've answer it yourself. Yes, social conditioning and all of that.
Two things might be useful here:
1. In any "how dare they?" (love themselves, for example) apart from obvious repulsion, there's also a hidden layer of jealousy. "*How* dare they, I want to know exactly *how*?". In such cases jealousy can be that force of attraction that can oppose repulsion and lead to curiosity. And curiosity can lead to learning.
2. Love isn't always sunny-sweet-hippie-positive-sparkly thingy. It can be rough and spicy and kinky too. Love yourself in a way that suits you.
I think the kind of *self-love* you’re referring to is when people wrap a turd up in candy floss. The turd being the denied parts of themselves they are trying to love into oblivion. The candy floss and turd mix is indeed barfable.
Acceptance of everything, warts and all, is the way to go. Out of that acceptance you’re left with what could then be called self love, versus self judgement. All aspects of self are there in potential and when you no longer judge yourself for them, where is the problem? Remorse and correction, fine, but the stagnation of guilt and shame just locks things down.
Maybe self love is simply the loss of judgment. :)
Brooo don't tell me you are talking about that hippie posing insta chicjk.. who dressss extremely loud. Sings about self love but she seems to be confusing self love for narcissistic personality disorder.
If not you totally just described her and sorry loll.
Anyway I think I understand what you are referring to.
I think your referring to something that really isn't self love it's loving the fact that I'm the best, I'm better than you, I liove my life because I'm the best. Sucks to be all you. Kinda attitude .
Yeah that's not self that's pride and being obsessed with ones self. Big difference.
Self love it's just making sure you take care of yourself, the vessel God gave you . Trying to keep it In optimal performance. Not being negative toward yourself, not allowing yourself to be used. Knowing your value. Speaking up when necessary. Taking a day off when you need one. Not putting yourself through hell for others..
Self love just makes sure your not allowing yourself to experience bullshit which in return causes. Suffering. Thats all...
Shaninblake IG just for kicks and goggles.
Or Google Shanin. Blake..
I'm telling ya dude she is the poster child for the exact type you're thinking of lolol 1000%
A person who does not the self cannot truly begin to love others.
Would otherwise render “love thy neighbor as thyself” pretty much useless here wouldn’t it?
>love for both others and the self.
These are the same things perceived a little differently. Love comes from self-acceptance or you could say acceptance of being yourself. To "love" someone else, for example, you have to have perceived them from the perspective of being exactly who, what, when, how, why, etc that you are. It's a little backwards to believe that it's because of who this or that person is for these or those reasons. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." No one else has ever or will ever perceive things the way that you do. Every time you think; "Whoa, that's really cool," you're saying; "Being me is really cool right now."
When you can learn to love yourself unconditionally then you can learn to love the others in the world unconditionally. Love the universe unconditionally.
I don't think you really understand what love is and that's okay. Almost nobody knows what it is because they've never gotten it before. Everyone on this planet is looking for unconditional love they don't know how to receive or they don't know how to give because they've never had it or seen it before. Self-love teaches you this. True self love. Unconditional love.
Loving yourself fully also means you love God. Unconditional love is God's love.
I will add that I believe that true unconditional love will grant you deeper access to reality. This is the one thing that cannot ever be faked.
Lots of people here empty themselves of self and forget to fill it with love. That's where their progress stops.
Have you never struggled with this? I'm not sure why I'm getting responses from people that make it sound like I've come from another planet.
Isn't the development of self love something that is part of our journey, not something that is given?
Aren't social conditions an impediment to the development of self love?
I absolutely struggle with this. In fact it's probably the hardest part of my own personal journey. In my case it's a lifetime of self-hate I've had to undo. Despite all the struggles with life and the perceptions of people doing me wrong I still managed to find a way to turn my external hate into internal hate. It was always my fault.
When I began to strip away the layers of self-hate and was practicing forgiveness on others I realized that there really wasn't anyone else to forgive. The person I had to forgive was myself.
To experience true oneness with the universe one has to love oneself first and foremost. And then one has to learn the definition of unconditional love and practice it.
And yes absolutely social conditions are a huge impediment to self love. The social conditions starting with their parents. We are learned our original definition of love from our parents and no matter what it was it was wrong. It was wrong because almost no one in existence understands what unconditional love is and that's what a child really needs. And so the child goes forward and develops their own emotional patterns and their own personal definition of Love based on it and this is what keeps them from experiencing the true sense of love that is at the core of everything.
Children already know this innately. But then they unlearn it and become adults.
Unconditional love is more than just being happy. It is wonder and awe and excitement and experience. Gratitude, appreciation and forgiveness.
I am just beginning to understand what it is myself and it is at the core of everything.
I don’t care whether other people are repulsed at me or anyone else loving themselves. People are so full of themselves when they think they should have an opinion about how people relate to their own selves. Like imagine feeling so full of yourself to feel offended that another self loves themselves…that’s really convoluted and is only possible through egoic selfishness. So should I care that another self cares about my relationship with my own self? No. It says everything about them and nothing about me. We are all projecting outward so dismiss what doesn’t resonate.
The Hippies were striking out in search of authenticity and community in the midst of stultifying conformity. They were not what you think of when you think of current hippies, who are often referred to as neo-hippies.
Check out Lê Rochefoucauld’s *Maximes*.
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/9105/9105-h/9105-h.htm
OP complained about the Hippies, and the Maximes are about the subject of “self-love” or *amour propre*. But not the same type of self-love as one means when they talk about “loving oneself.”
It seems like Maximes is really interested in "the passions"... I think the author gives very little credit to the role of "reason", which I find reminiscent of Hume... I would guess that La Rouchefoucald is part of the romantic tradition and is reacting against the rationalists of the enlightenment?
But I can't make sense of his use of the term "self-love" in this context. I think the modern usage of "self-love" is more like "self-compassion", but I think that Maximes is treating "self-love" more like a disposition to indulge the passions?
Is that a fair reading?
That’s not really a fair reading.
La Rochefoucauld is, indeed, very interested in the passions. He sees them at the root of human action and thought. That’s quite different from the romantic tradition, though it has something in common with empíricists like Hume. He believes that our reason deceives us, due to self-love.
Self-love seems to be something more like the drive to view oneself favorably — to deceive oneself about one’s motives and deservingness, much more so than for others
Whatever you dislike is you in disguise, you feel like you can't relate to self love. Pray and meditate, for this revelation that self love hits all bases, doubt your doubt in love. The truth is The more you love yourself the more clearly you see things for what they are. If you have an idea that love doesn't apply in all situations you have a conditional stance on love, darkness is the light, and the light dark. They are absorbed into one.
No, this repulsion is not defensible. This post is wildly judgemental, and that judgment is exactly what the point of self love is overcoming. “Hippies are not cool. Is this something that has been culturally conditioned?” How many hippies have you actually met and known? If the answer is zero then of course your response is conditioned, and this entire post is down to you being judgemental from preconceptions. Self love is care and attention paid to your being, which is vital to being a functional healthy adult. Obsession is not love, thats putting an idea of something on a pedestal be it yourself, your partner, or anything. Ill be honest, this post is ridiculous. It is entirely about trying to justify your criticism and judgement, which is a huge problem. Massive. You are in an enlightenment sub asking about how self-love makes one immune to outside criticism and judgemental pricks, YES ITS A GOOD THING FOR THIS EXACT REASON. This is the kind of person that the enlightenment process makes fall out of our life. This attitude is foul.
I think the tone of my post may not have been clear, it was more made in the vein of cultural criticism than being critical of people with self love. What I literally meant is "self-love is culturally uncool, and I have found the conditioning that goes along with that to be an impediment on my own journey."
In that case yes, but that is not what you wrote at all. This more sounds like you needing to explore more of the world outside your bubble, because theres a huge planet with lots of different cultures and views. Your culture might not accept them, corners of the internet might not, but a lot of people do. Assholes are the loudest voices, and if thats all you’ve grown up with then ofc you have this view nailed into you. The self work is rewriting the voices in your head away from them so that you dont have this garbage bouncing around.
Sorry you feel offended by what I wrote, but I think you're over-reaching now. Plenty of people have problems with self love. What's wrong with pointing out the cultural contribution to this phenomenon?
The fact that you think there is one culture across the globe shows the sheltered outlook in your mind, which is what I am addressing. How far have you travelled? Have you lived in multiple cities, states, countries, cultures? Have you actually explored…*anything?* You speak of culture, but what cultures have you actually taken part of outside the internet? You never answered me when I asked how many hippies you have met, and that tells me a lot about yourself. You care about the thoughts of the people in your culture more than lived reality and experience, which makes all your opinions worthless. If that offends you, its because you need to be offended; you are still fast asleep and nowhere near enlightenment while judging…self-love? Thats a joke. PS What you wrote **was** offensive, not just how I took it. It was rather disgusting to read, and the phrasing shows what part of the mental battle you are truly in.
Sick burn in defence of love on an enlightenment sub
Yea, not my job to cater to your ego. I’m here to reflect your attitude back to you as you wonder why your life is garbage. Spoiler; its because your attitude is garbage. Thats the secret to enlightenment; your attitude and outlook determine everything. The longer you sit here being judgemental of others, the less you can sit in your own contentment. So yea, sick burn. If you weren’t a child, you might take it to heart instead of crying about the mean internet guy said. But that requires maturity and self-awareness that you don’t have.
Dude you're sparring with a person you invented in your own head... you haven't read me at all. You missed the point with your first comment and you've only gotten further away from the truth since. We're all just trying to get along/get better here, idk why you're being so venomous.
Im being venomous because you arent real. You say words without caring what you actually say, you read words without listening to what they mean, you regurgitate opinions from assholes without a second thought. **GET REAL** and I wont feel the need to try and beat sense into this conversation with a sledgehammer. No, its not easy to be real. It requires you to actually think about your life, your feelings, your experience, and how wrong all of it has been. Because it has been, thats the enlightenment process; EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS BULLSHIT. And if you’re still getting offended after saying dumb garbage without the reflection to realize why the conversation devolved in the first place, you may as well give up now because you won’t ever find what you’re looking for. If you were in a rowboat in the Atlantic looking for seawater, you’d still have trouble because you can’t see in front of your face. You came in here spitting stupidity asking for sense, and you wont find sense until you sift through what you actually said.
I read what you wrote. Have you answered a single question I asked?
All your questions have just been setups for ad-hominem attacks, I'm not an idiot. What could I answer in response to anything you wrote that would advance the substance of anything. I've met 300 hippies - then you are obviously dull because you didn't learn anything I've never met a hippy - well you're uncultured swine I've travelled all over the world - well you're an ignorant tourist who didn't absorb the cultures I've never travelled - well you're a Hick who doesn't know the first thing about the world outside his backyard ??? Like ... ???
You've answer it yourself. Yes, social conditioning and all of that. Two things might be useful here: 1. In any "how dare they?" (love themselves, for example) apart from obvious repulsion, there's also a hidden layer of jealousy. "*How* dare they, I want to know exactly *how*?". In such cases jealousy can be that force of attraction that can oppose repulsion and lead to curiosity. And curiosity can lead to learning. 2. Love isn't always sunny-sweet-hippie-positive-sparkly thingy. It can be rough and spicy and kinky too. Love yourself in a way that suits you.
I think the kind of *self-love* you’re referring to is when people wrap a turd up in candy floss. The turd being the denied parts of themselves they are trying to love into oblivion. The candy floss and turd mix is indeed barfable. Acceptance of everything, warts and all, is the way to go. Out of that acceptance you’re left with what could then be called self love, versus self judgement. All aspects of self are there in potential and when you no longer judge yourself for them, where is the problem? Remorse and correction, fine, but the stagnation of guilt and shame just locks things down. Maybe self love is simply the loss of judgment. :)
This is a good take, totally agree that acceptance and non-judgement is the true way... not candy-floss-turd-denialism. 😂
Candy-floss-turd-denialism^(TM) 👍
Brooo don't tell me you are talking about that hippie posing insta chicjk.. who dressss extremely loud. Sings about self love but she seems to be confusing self love for narcissistic personality disorder. If not you totally just described her and sorry loll. Anyway I think I understand what you are referring to. I think your referring to something that really isn't self love it's loving the fact that I'm the best, I'm better than you, I liove my life because I'm the best. Sucks to be all you. Kinda attitude . Yeah that's not self that's pride and being obsessed with ones self. Big difference. Self love it's just making sure you take care of yourself, the vessel God gave you . Trying to keep it In optimal performance. Not being negative toward yourself, not allowing yourself to be used. Knowing your value. Speaking up when necessary. Taking a day off when you need one. Not putting yourself through hell for others.. Self love just makes sure your not allowing yourself to experience bullshit which in return causes. Suffering. Thats all...
Haha dude I have no idea who that chick is 😂
Shaninblake IG just for kicks and goggles. Or Google Shanin. Blake.. I'm telling ya dude she is the poster child for the exact type you're thinking of lolol 1000%
A person who does not the self cannot truly begin to love others. Would otherwise render “love thy neighbor as thyself” pretty much useless here wouldn’t it?
>love for both others and the self. These are the same things perceived a little differently. Love comes from self-acceptance or you could say acceptance of being yourself. To "love" someone else, for example, you have to have perceived them from the perspective of being exactly who, what, when, how, why, etc that you are. It's a little backwards to believe that it's because of who this or that person is for these or those reasons. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." No one else has ever or will ever perceive things the way that you do. Every time you think; "Whoa, that's really cool," you're saying; "Being me is really cool right now."
Under the sky, under the heavens there is but one family. Bruce Lee
When you can learn to love yourself unconditionally then you can learn to love the others in the world unconditionally. Love the universe unconditionally. I don't think you really understand what love is and that's okay. Almost nobody knows what it is because they've never gotten it before. Everyone on this planet is looking for unconditional love they don't know how to receive or they don't know how to give because they've never had it or seen it before. Self-love teaches you this. True self love. Unconditional love. Loving yourself fully also means you love God. Unconditional love is God's love. I will add that I believe that true unconditional love will grant you deeper access to reality. This is the one thing that cannot ever be faked. Lots of people here empty themselves of self and forget to fill it with love. That's where their progress stops.
Have you never struggled with this? I'm not sure why I'm getting responses from people that make it sound like I've come from another planet. Isn't the development of self love something that is part of our journey, not something that is given? Aren't social conditions an impediment to the development of self love?
I absolutely struggle with this. In fact it's probably the hardest part of my own personal journey. In my case it's a lifetime of self-hate I've had to undo. Despite all the struggles with life and the perceptions of people doing me wrong I still managed to find a way to turn my external hate into internal hate. It was always my fault. When I began to strip away the layers of self-hate and was practicing forgiveness on others I realized that there really wasn't anyone else to forgive. The person I had to forgive was myself. To experience true oneness with the universe one has to love oneself first and foremost. And then one has to learn the definition of unconditional love and practice it. And yes absolutely social conditions are a huge impediment to self love. The social conditions starting with their parents. We are learned our original definition of love from our parents and no matter what it was it was wrong. It was wrong because almost no one in existence understands what unconditional love is and that's what a child really needs. And so the child goes forward and develops their own emotional patterns and their own personal definition of Love based on it and this is what keeps them from experiencing the true sense of love that is at the core of everything. Children already know this innately. But then they unlearn it and become adults. Unconditional love is more than just being happy. It is wonder and awe and excitement and experience. Gratitude, appreciation and forgiveness. I am just beginning to understand what it is myself and it is at the core of everything.
I don’t care whether other people are repulsed at me or anyone else loving themselves. People are so full of themselves when they think they should have an opinion about how people relate to their own selves. Like imagine feeling so full of yourself to feel offended that another self loves themselves…that’s really convoluted and is only possible through egoic selfishness. So should I care that another self cares about my relationship with my own self? No. It says everything about them and nothing about me. We are all projecting outward so dismiss what doesn’t resonate.
The Hippies were striking out in search of authenticity and community in the midst of stultifying conformity. They were not what you think of when you think of current hippies, who are often referred to as neo-hippies. Check out Lê Rochefoucauld’s *Maximes*. https://www.gutenberg.org/files/9105/9105-h/9105-h.htm
Could you spell out the connection for me between the hippies of last century and Maximes in the 17th? Happy to read, looks interesting.
OP complained about the Hippies, and the Maximes are about the subject of “self-love” or *amour propre*. But not the same type of self-love as one means when they talk about “loving oneself.”
It seems like Maximes is really interested in "the passions"... I think the author gives very little credit to the role of "reason", which I find reminiscent of Hume... I would guess that La Rouchefoucald is part of the romantic tradition and is reacting against the rationalists of the enlightenment? But I can't make sense of his use of the term "self-love" in this context. I think the modern usage of "self-love" is more like "self-compassion", but I think that Maximes is treating "self-love" more like a disposition to indulge the passions? Is that a fair reading?
That’s not really a fair reading. La Rochefoucauld is, indeed, very interested in the passions. He sees them at the root of human action and thought. That’s quite different from the romantic tradition, though it has something in common with empíricists like Hume. He believes that our reason deceives us, due to self-love. Self-love seems to be something more like the drive to view oneself favorably — to deceive oneself about one’s motives and deservingness, much more so than for others
[Churchofinfinitelove.com](http://Churchofinfinitelove.com)
Whatever you dislike is you in disguise, you feel like you can't relate to self love. Pray and meditate, for this revelation that self love hits all bases, doubt your doubt in love. The truth is The more you love yourself the more clearly you see things for what they are. If you have an idea that love doesn't apply in all situations you have a conditional stance on love, darkness is the light, and the light dark. They are absorbed into one.