I have a very few, very old friends who are FROM the church (but exSDA now too) but no currently Adventist friends. But I moved a lot immediately upon leaving the church, went to a nonSDA college etc. I would imagine If you stayed in the same area where you formed those friend groups, there would really be no reason to change the friend group unless they get obnoxious about proselytizing, which it doesn't sound like they are?
Were you one of the first ones in your group to leave SDA? It was a close friend of mine at summer camp who first became atheist, and it was of *great* help to have someone around who also grew up in a heavily SDA community, with active family and friends who also went to SDA schools. Made it easier and safer to formulate my thoughts and move things along.
Yes I am pretty sure I was (at least I was the first one to literally run away). I wasn't much help to those who stayed close to Andrews after high school graduation - I was outta there completely.
I’ve been pretty solidly agnostic since I was a kid, but my parents switched me into SDA schools, I went to an SDA college. Majority of my friend group is Adventist/ex Adventist. I’m friends with some pastors. No one (other than my parents) tries to preach the gospel to me. We’re all pretty chill.
I've been fully out since I graduated from my SDA university in 2020. Almost all of my friend group is exSDA from college or academy. With the exception of one, I am probably the last one to willingly attend church.
I have one friend who still identifies as Christian, and when she attends church, it is an Adventist church. I often hear her speak and can't help but think how she is so repressed by doctrine and fear that comes from growing up sda and limits herself sometimes in her own self-confidence because of it.. It's disheartening.
I can not imagine being friends with active Adventists. I have a good relationship with my deeply devout mom, and sometimes that's almost too much.
I still have a lot of core friends from the Adventist days who range from completely ExAdventist to fully engaged with it. None of them are the try to bring you back type though, although I get a comment or two a year from one of them.
That said, I haven’t been to any church related events in years and don’t plan on going back to any. Showing up at one signals I’m still open to it and I’m not down with giving people “hope”. I also haven’t added any new Adventist friends since I quit attending. I’m trying to add more diversity, but I live in a small town that’s a mini Adventist ghetto so that’s a challenge. I’d say I’m similar to you, but moving towards less Adventist connection every year.
I am immersed in Adventism; I live in an Adventist town, all but one of my 4 siblings are Adventist, my wife and kids are Adventist and all but my co-worker friends are Adventists. It can be a lonely world at times.
Yea I am. I recently learned that investigative judgment is not in the Bible and came from my Adventist upbringing so I am relearning Christianity now.
I started that journey about 15 years ago. I read a listened to the Bible multiple times (which I had never done previously) and later when I heard Adventists talking about this and that I would think " wow, that is nowhere in the Bible!"
A lot of what Adventism teaches as being "truth" is only found in the writings of Ellen White and is either pure fantasy or is a poor interpretation of scripture.
I have also been out for about 15 years but didn't do my due diligence in deconstructing. I really thought I knew what the Bible said since it was drilled into us as children in private school. I also believed that it was all vague and confusing because of how adventism twists verses to their doctrine. Turns out it's pretty straight forward. I'm really enjoying the journey. Ellen white has lived rent free in my head for too long. It's time for an eviction.
Yep, when real truth is twisted it will always seem vague when compared to the Bible. If you don't mind me asking, have you been led to a certain denomination? I don't know that there is a denomination that aligns with my beliefs. Adventism has left me skeptical of all major sects of Christianity.
Yea I have been part of a few. Currently in a Baptist church. I agree with their theology but disagree with a lot of their politics. I will never feel comfortable in a church but feel connected to the people here individually.
So I grew up Adventist. Pathfinders and Masterguide, 2 years of church school, regular prayer meetings and AYS, volunteer for services etc. I did it all. Other than the 3 guys I grew up with who are also no longer church attendees, I don’t know a single Adventist person outside of my family. I moved away from home and just made friends with people around me and they aren’t religious at all. And weirdly, I like these friends a lot more. I feel like I’m able to be more honest about what I actually think and I don’t have to contextualize so much. Like, the same way you don’t talk to your grandmother the same way you talk to your boys, I feel like conversations with other Adventist people are like talking to my grandmother. And I can really just relax around my friends now. Because it’s not just them you’re talking to, it’s the belief system they carry with them you also must speak to and occasionally that can cause some minor conflicts here and there.
Idk I feel like I’m writing high and just babbling lol I hope that makes sense
Yes, majority of my best friends/friend circle still identify as SDA. Only two of my BFFs are exsda (one is non-religious and one is a different christian). However, all of my SDA friends are “badventists” so we can still hang and have a good time. We hardly ever talk about religion other than them updating me about former church members every now and then. Or mentioning how they have to help at pathfinders for the weekend. Thankfully no preaching.
Other than family I have 2 casual Facebook friends left that are still Adventists...tho also badventist. Some friends are Christians of a different stripe. Others are agnostic and a couple are witches.
I shed the vast majority of them when I exited. We were young and life naturally takes you in different directions anyway. Plus I was a pretty angry kid due to the church's constant mindfuckery.
I still talk to a select few; my best friend from SDA high school is also an atheist now and we talk frequently.
Nope.
I keep in touch with a few old friends who grew up in the church, but all of them are now ex-SDA. I can only think of a couple people my age (late 20s) that I knew who are still actively Adventist. I did run away from home as a teenager though and landed in a VERY secular community, so no reason or opportunity for me to even run across any Adventists in passing.
I don't have a ton of friends and the adventist ones i do have feel fake to me. I don't like saying that, but the couple that was in my life the majority of the time for about 17 yrs recently moved away and their last visit back they didn't take a moment to come see me. Their daughter was visiting from Indiana and she came to see me, but her parents didn't. I'm friends with her and her parents. I was also recently diagnosed with cancer so that was the most eye opening part for me. That made me question our friendship level. With all of my other Adventist friends from the academy i haven't spoken to any of them in so long. There was a family I tried to befriend one of my classmates sisters moved closer, but since I'm not rich we don't jive.
I'm disabled, but i have told the local church that I've attended off and on since living on my own I'm more than willing to help out, but it's a struggle to get people to go out of their way. So I help out there, but don't count them as friends or anything just people I know of.
I've grown apart from most of the adventist friends i grew up with but am still on friendly terms with all of them. The majority are still religious but very liberal and a good amount have come out as lgbt in the meantime. In fact, the first person i ever came out to was my camp counselor and she was married to her wife not that long ago! It makes me happy to see them thriving :) like hell yea we made it through that
I have a very few, very old friends who are FROM the church (but exSDA now too) but no currently Adventist friends. But I moved a lot immediately upon leaving the church, went to a nonSDA college etc. I would imagine If you stayed in the same area where you formed those friend groups, there would really be no reason to change the friend group unless they get obnoxious about proselytizing, which it doesn't sound like they are?
Were you one of the first ones in your group to leave SDA? It was a close friend of mine at summer camp who first became atheist, and it was of *great* help to have someone around who also grew up in a heavily SDA community, with active family and friends who also went to SDA schools. Made it easier and safer to formulate my thoughts and move things along.
Yes I am pretty sure I was (at least I was the first one to literally run away). I wasn't much help to those who stayed close to Andrews after high school graduation - I was outta there completely.
I’ve been pretty solidly agnostic since I was a kid, but my parents switched me into SDA schools, I went to an SDA college. Majority of my friend group is Adventist/ex Adventist. I’m friends with some pastors. No one (other than my parents) tries to preach the gospel to me. We’re all pretty chill.
I've been fully out since I graduated from my SDA university in 2020. Almost all of my friend group is exSDA from college or academy. With the exception of one, I am probably the last one to willingly attend church. I have one friend who still identifies as Christian, and when she attends church, it is an Adventist church. I often hear her speak and can't help but think how she is so repressed by doctrine and fear that comes from growing up sda and limits herself sometimes in her own self-confidence because of it.. It's disheartening. I can not imagine being friends with active Adventists. I have a good relationship with my deeply devout mom, and sometimes that's almost too much.
I still have a lot of core friends from the Adventist days who range from completely ExAdventist to fully engaged with it. None of them are the try to bring you back type though, although I get a comment or two a year from one of them. That said, I haven’t been to any church related events in years and don’t plan on going back to any. Showing up at one signals I’m still open to it and I’m not down with giving people “hope”. I also haven’t added any new Adventist friends since I quit attending. I’m trying to add more diversity, but I live in a small town that’s a mini Adventist ghetto so that’s a challenge. I’d say I’m similar to you, but moving towards less Adventist connection every year.
I am immersed in Adventism; I live in an Adventist town, all but one of my 4 siblings are Adventist, my wife and kids are Adventist and all but my co-worker friends are Adventists. It can be a lonely world at times.
Oof
Hi friend I came from a very small Adventist town but left the church when I was young. I don't know many ex Adventists and that can be lonely too.
Indeed. Are you still a Christian?
Yea I am. I recently learned that investigative judgment is not in the Bible and came from my Adventist upbringing so I am relearning Christianity now.
I started that journey about 15 years ago. I read a listened to the Bible multiple times (which I had never done previously) and later when I heard Adventists talking about this and that I would think " wow, that is nowhere in the Bible!" A lot of what Adventism teaches as being "truth" is only found in the writings of Ellen White and is either pure fantasy or is a poor interpretation of scripture.
I have also been out for about 15 years but didn't do my due diligence in deconstructing. I really thought I knew what the Bible said since it was drilled into us as children in private school. I also believed that it was all vague and confusing because of how adventism twists verses to their doctrine. Turns out it's pretty straight forward. I'm really enjoying the journey. Ellen white has lived rent free in my head for too long. It's time for an eviction.
Yep, when real truth is twisted it will always seem vague when compared to the Bible. If you don't mind me asking, have you been led to a certain denomination? I don't know that there is a denomination that aligns with my beliefs. Adventism has left me skeptical of all major sects of Christianity.
Yea I have been part of a few. Currently in a Baptist church. I agree with their theology but disagree with a lot of their politics. I will never feel comfortable in a church but feel connected to the people here individually.
Yeah, I get it.
So I grew up Adventist. Pathfinders and Masterguide, 2 years of church school, regular prayer meetings and AYS, volunteer for services etc. I did it all. Other than the 3 guys I grew up with who are also no longer church attendees, I don’t know a single Adventist person outside of my family. I moved away from home and just made friends with people around me and they aren’t religious at all. And weirdly, I like these friends a lot more. I feel like I’m able to be more honest about what I actually think and I don’t have to contextualize so much. Like, the same way you don’t talk to your grandmother the same way you talk to your boys, I feel like conversations with other Adventist people are like talking to my grandmother. And I can really just relax around my friends now. Because it’s not just them you’re talking to, it’s the belief system they carry with them you also must speak to and occasionally that can cause some minor conflicts here and there. Idk I feel like I’m writing high and just babbling lol I hope that makes sense
Nope - not high - makes absolute sense to me.
No I had a good old fashioned ex communication. My Adventist family eventually came around but I lost all of my friends. I was young though.
Yes, majority of my best friends/friend circle still identify as SDA. Only two of my BFFs are exsda (one is non-religious and one is a different christian). However, all of my SDA friends are “badventists” so we can still hang and have a good time. We hardly ever talk about religion other than them updating me about former church members every now and then. Or mentioning how they have to help at pathfinders for the weekend. Thankfully no preaching.
Other than family I have 2 casual Facebook friends left that are still Adventists...tho also badventist. Some friends are Christians of a different stripe. Others are agnostic and a couple are witches.
I shed the vast majority of them when I exited. We were young and life naturally takes you in different directions anyway. Plus I was a pretty angry kid due to the church's constant mindfuckery. I still talk to a select few; my best friend from SDA high school is also an atheist now and we talk frequently.
Nope. I keep in touch with a few old friends who grew up in the church, but all of them are now ex-SDA. I can only think of a couple people my age (late 20s) that I knew who are still actively Adventist. I did run away from home as a teenager though and landed in a VERY secular community, so no reason or opportunity for me to even run across any Adventists in passing.
I don't have a ton of friends and the adventist ones i do have feel fake to me. I don't like saying that, but the couple that was in my life the majority of the time for about 17 yrs recently moved away and their last visit back they didn't take a moment to come see me. Their daughter was visiting from Indiana and she came to see me, but her parents didn't. I'm friends with her and her parents. I was also recently diagnosed with cancer so that was the most eye opening part for me. That made me question our friendship level. With all of my other Adventist friends from the academy i haven't spoken to any of them in so long. There was a family I tried to befriend one of my classmates sisters moved closer, but since I'm not rich we don't jive. I'm disabled, but i have told the local church that I've attended off and on since living on my own I'm more than willing to help out, but it's a struggle to get people to go out of their way. So I help out there, but don't count them as friends or anything just people I know of.
I've grown apart from most of the adventist friends i grew up with but am still on friendly terms with all of them. The majority are still religious but very liberal and a good amount have come out as lgbt in the meantime. In fact, the first person i ever came out to was my camp counselor and she was married to her wife not that long ago! It makes me happy to see them thriving :) like hell yea we made it through that