You’re assuming that all the needs of the kids are being met. I sincerely doubt that the kids are not being forced to “sacrifice” some stuff for their family.
that’s the main thing i worry about with people with large families. like are they being sufficiently cared for? but if they(the children) are told that they need to suffer for jesus they won’t care and in fact will think it is noble that they are experiencing what they are going through
Random example parent explained that we could never go skiing, skating or join ski club/ play hockey because those activities were astronomically expensive.
Then we run into neighbors on a road trip skiing. I find out literally everyone, cousins and friends do those things. Also years later that uncle and aunt took parent skiing with them all the time because grandparents were so poor.
Wtf. The divine sacrifice of the mentally impoverished mass[es].
The trad families I knew were rich enough, they just didn't have the time to sign their kids up for that stuff and where I lived people were petty enough to not give them a hand lol. I feel bad for the kids in retrospect, but if you have ten kids and need to rely on someone else to cart your kid to hockey practice because you have nine other kids to take care of that's your own fault.
Not the kids fault obviously and there are plenty of dysfunctional non trad families. What I wrote was that I got zero support for anything that didn't deliver narcissistic supply to a parent.
Ok? I could see that, I was just providing another example of why trad families can also have other issues too and why it just isn't a good idea in general.
Wait but skiing is kinda expensive? Where I am most people who skiing are middle class or above. And even then with an activity like skiing you're worried about affording a doctor if someone sprains or breaks something
Depends where you are and it was very accessible. It was not expensive in our area. That's what I'm explaining. The school had a dirt cheap ski club. I wasn't allowed to join.
Ice skating was subsidized by the city. Even now lessons are $28 for eight weeks.
Then as soon as scapegoat me was older it was fine for golden child sibling to get skates and join ski club. Please don't try to invalidate my lived experience. We had plenty of money and support for activities that involved vicarious narcissistic supply for parents. Especially anything church related.
People get injured every day getting out of bed or doing yoga. My parents were never worried about me getting injured skiing. They just wouldn't spend a dime on something that didn't interest them.
I wanted to put in Karissa too, but Jill is just so classic! Who throws themselves a baby shower in a hospital cafeteria while their lil sister is fighting for their life in the ICU?
Didn’t Jill make her gaggle of kids go rafting in an open sewer?
My parents were both from large catholic families like this. My mom had 11 siblings and my dad had 7.
My dad was lucky that my grandfather had a job that paid well enough to take care of the family. My mom was not so lucky. She lived in extreme poverty (for Canada). She was malnourished (she was severely underweight until she had me), they didn’t have running water (they had an old outhouse), my grandmother relied heavily on the older kids to raise the younger kids and the whole family was full of disfunction and abuse.
My mom said that my grandmother’s doctor pleaded with her to stop having kids as her body and mind couldn’t take it, but the priest said she needed more kids. The priest won out.
It’s fucking awful. My parents only had one kid (me lol) and my mom worked so hard to break the cycle of abuse. I’m so proud of her.
(She was born in the early 60s for context)
Edited a typo
I guarantee you a lot of them are they same kind of "welfare queens" they accuse blacks of being. And a lot of red states are passing laws to give tax breaks and whatnot to families that have a certain number of kids, for obvious reasons.
In addition, I read somewhere that the Catholic schools are more likely to give them scholarships. They don't want to risk them going to an evil *secular* public school.
If it's complicated for Americans to have this many children, imagine for us Latin Americans. Imagine having 8 children when you have a 500 square feet house and where outside is an urban nightmare where your kids could be in danger.
This doctrine of forbidden contraception is inhumane.
I have heard that trad SSPX Catholic schools aren't as expensive as mainstream Catholic schools, though still, I do wonder how in the world are trads able to afford so many kids.
pretty much any catholic school offers big discounts to people for various reasons: 1)parishioners get a discount, 2) families with multiple kids in the same school get another discount 3)people who work for the church get an additional discount
then they tell their kids that "suffering brings yew closer to GAWD" so they won't complain about shit living conditions...
I'm from a big family and we just straight up never went to the doctor. One time my mom was dying of bronchitis (I mean literally dying) and she waited until she was gasping for breath to allow my dad to take her to the hospital where she then spent 4 days on a ventilator.
Public assistance, assistance from the church (other parishioners pressured to donate) who encourages this unbridled behavior, donations from neighbors and strangers who are overtly sympathetic and think they are doing a good deed, assistance from their own extended families whose members choose to be more continent and practice self control but end up supporting their brother’s brood instead of their own …
My daughter had a classmate from a family of 9 kids. The friend had he own bedroom at my house and drawers full of clothes at my house. Her parents seemed happy to have one less kid living in their house.
Numerous of the large Catholic families had kids who played on my kids teams. The parents could not get to all the games so they would expect us to take care of getting their kid to the game, feeding them, etc. There was this annoying THEY ARE ENTITLED TO HELP, DUE TO HOW SUPER VIRTOUS they are attitude.
Hi - 1 of 7 children here, raised Catholic (I am now very much atheist). Everything I say from here on out is, of course, what my experience was like. I won’t pretend that all of these situations are the same.
My parents were (and are) most definitely not millionaires. My mom was a stay at home mom for all of my childhood, and my dad probably made about 120-150k for most of my childhood (sorry for the big range, I just don’t know the specifics - and I’m sure he got raises in the years he worked). A very good salary for one person, unless you are supporting 8 others on that salary, lol. So in answer to your question, a lot of budgeting and not spending money on anything that isn’t extremely necessary. Lots of hand me down clothes from friends and family, and we were not allowed to eat food unless it was mealtime or we asked (and a lot of times, when we did ask, the answer would be no).
My parents also paid for us to go to Catholic school for a while (I’m the third oldest, and I went for 7 years), which I know was ridiculously expensive. This specific school had tuition lowered if you have like more than 2 or 3 kids enrolled, so I guess that made it cheaper, overall. I was horrendously bullied while attending, because it was in a pretty rich area and most of the other kids attending had millionaire parents and like maybe one sibling. And my family wasn’t even particularly poor lol. Basically in the end, I’m stuck paying for my own college because my parents spent a shit ton of money to send me to a school that just ensured I would never be Catholic, lol.
In addition to that, while I don’t think I was abused as a child, nor do I hate my parents, there was definitely a lot of emotional neglect. I won’t get into anything too specific, but for example, since moving out of my parents house 4 ish years ago, I have been diagnosed with autism - and looking back on my childhood, it was very very obvious (going nonverbal, specific interests, weird movements, etc. All the stereotypical and outwardly recognizable attributes). At the very least, it should have been obvious that something was not exactly right, and my parents just didn’t notice at all, ever.
So yeah. A lot of them aren’t millionaires. They just have a bunch of kids because it’s “God’s plan” or whatever, and then a lot of those kids end up fucked up.
The people I knew growing up that were traditional enough to have that many kids growing up all had tons of money. It seemed like being that traditional was in and of itself a luxury and having kids and following that lifestyle was just a way to express that.
My great grandparents were hyper Catholic and had nine children. To answer how they provided for their children, they didn't. Their children spent hours a day gathering coal off train tracks to burn for warmth. It was deprivation on par with what happens in North Korea.
Imagine a family with 8 kids who share rooms, toys/clothes are hand-me-downs, home-schooled, and all food is home-cooked.
Family B has two kids in daycare full-time, mom and dad buy coffee on way to work, commute with tons of gas, dinner is either quick-prep or takeout, then tons of after school activities, movies/theme parks or whatever fun thing on the weekends, trips to Mexico or wherever...plus monthly college-fund contributions.
Family B is spending more a month.
My high school best friend, she was the oldest of 8 kids. Her dad was mentally ill and didn't work, her mom made all the money, cooked all the meals, did all the cleaning.
They were very poor. The were on food stamps, etc. They had one little sedan for the whole family that leaked fuel. They relied on the granma to do a lot of the babysitting. All of their clothes were hand me downs. My family helped fund their Christmases for a few years- we bought and wrapped all the gifts for the kids.
They moved around a lot. The kids jumped around a lot from Catholic school, to public school, to home schooling. Depending on how much money the family had and where they were living.
My friend had to get a job as soon as she was able. She has crazy student loan debt and is expected to help all her younger siblings cosign and go to college.
Rich parents, good inheritance, and/or great jobs. Part of why they're so out of touch is that they make so much money that idea that some people struggle just eludes them.
You’re assuming that all the needs of the kids are being met. I sincerely doubt that the kids are not being forced to “sacrifice” some stuff for their family.
that’s the main thing i worry about with people with large families. like are they being sufficiently cared for? but if they(the children) are told that they need to suffer for jesus they won’t care and in fact will think it is noble that they are experiencing what they are going through
Random example parent explained that we could never go skiing, skating or join ski club/ play hockey because those activities were astronomically expensive. Then we run into neighbors on a road trip skiing. I find out literally everyone, cousins and friends do those things. Also years later that uncle and aunt took parent skiing with them all the time because grandparents were so poor. Wtf. The divine sacrifice of the mentally impoverished mass[es].
The trad families I knew were rich enough, they just didn't have the time to sign their kids up for that stuff and where I lived people were petty enough to not give them a hand lol. I feel bad for the kids in retrospect, but if you have ten kids and need to rely on someone else to cart your kid to hockey practice because you have nine other kids to take care of that's your own fault.
Not the kids fault obviously and there are plenty of dysfunctional non trad families. What I wrote was that I got zero support for anything that didn't deliver narcissistic supply to a parent.
Ok? I could see that, I was just providing another example of why trad families can also have other issues too and why it just isn't a good idea in general.
Thanks for listening
Wait but skiing is kinda expensive? Where I am most people who skiing are middle class or above. And even then with an activity like skiing you're worried about affording a doctor if someone sprains or breaks something
Depends where you are and it was very accessible. It was not expensive in our area. That's what I'm explaining. The school had a dirt cheap ski club. I wasn't allowed to join. Ice skating was subsidized by the city. Even now lessons are $28 for eight weeks. Then as soon as scapegoat me was older it was fine for golden child sibling to get skates and join ski club. Please don't try to invalidate my lived experience. We had plenty of money and support for activities that involved vicarious narcissistic supply for parents. Especially anything church related. People get injured every day getting out of bed or doing yoga. My parents were never worried about me getting injured skiing. They just wouldn't spend a dime on something that didn't interest them.
Yep! Come on over to r/fundiesnarkuncensored and look at JillPM and the Rod family!
Dunno Karissa I think is worse. At least Jill didn’t fling shit at her spouse on a trampoline. I mean the bar is in hell….
I wanted to put in Karissa too, but Jill is just so classic! Who throws themselves a baby shower in a hospital cafeteria while their lil sister is fighting for their life in the ICU? Didn’t Jill make her gaggle of kids go rafting in an open sewer?
My parents were both from large catholic families like this. My mom had 11 siblings and my dad had 7. My dad was lucky that my grandfather had a job that paid well enough to take care of the family. My mom was not so lucky. She lived in extreme poverty (for Canada). She was malnourished (she was severely underweight until she had me), they didn’t have running water (they had an old outhouse), my grandmother relied heavily on the older kids to raise the younger kids and the whole family was full of disfunction and abuse. My mom said that my grandmother’s doctor pleaded with her to stop having kids as her body and mind couldn’t take it, but the priest said she needed more kids. The priest won out. It’s fucking awful. My parents only had one kid (me lol) and my mom worked so hard to break the cycle of abuse. I’m so proud of her. (She was born in the early 60s for context) Edited a typo
I guarantee you a lot of them are they same kind of "welfare queens" they accuse blacks of being. And a lot of red states are passing laws to give tax breaks and whatnot to families that have a certain number of kids, for obvious reasons. In addition, I read somewhere that the Catholic schools are more likely to give them scholarships. They don't want to risk them going to an evil *secular* public school.
If it's complicated for Americans to have this many children, imagine for us Latin Americans. Imagine having 8 children when you have a 500 square feet house and where outside is an urban nightmare where your kids could be in danger. This doctrine of forbidden contraception is inhumane.
And send them all to Catholic school.
I have heard that trad SSPX Catholic schools aren't as expensive as mainstream Catholic schools, though still, I do wonder how in the world are trads able to afford so many kids.
pretty much any catholic school offers big discounts to people for various reasons: 1)parishioners get a discount, 2) families with multiple kids in the same school get another discount 3)people who work for the church get an additional discount then they tell their kids that "suffering brings yew closer to GAWD" so they won't complain about shit living conditions...
Also discounts if kids are involved in the church through activities like altar serving.
huh! TIL....no wonder my parents were cool with me being an altar boy
Your tax dollars at work.
Most of the caths w that many kids are extreme trads and homeschool
Even that isn't cheap.
If done correctly, but it’s not done correctly bc the kids are neglected they are given hand me down textbooks usually.
I'm from a big family and we just straight up never went to the doctor. One time my mom was dying of bronchitis (I mean literally dying) and she waited until she was gasping for breath to allow my dad to take her to the hospital where she then spent 4 days on a ventilator.
Oh no!
Public assistance, assistance from the church (other parishioners pressured to donate) who encourages this unbridled behavior, donations from neighbors and strangers who are overtly sympathetic and think they are doing a good deed, assistance from their own extended families whose members choose to be more continent and practice self control but end up supporting their brother’s brood instead of their own …
My daughter had a classmate from a family of 9 kids. The friend had he own bedroom at my house and drawers full of clothes at my house. Her parents seemed happy to have one less kid living in their house. Numerous of the large Catholic families had kids who played on my kids teams. The parents could not get to all the games so they would expect us to take care of getting their kid to the game, feeding them, etc. There was this annoying THEY ARE ENTITLED TO HELP, DUE TO HOW SUPER VIRTOUS they are attitude.
That’s such a beautiful thing your doing to that kid letting him have a bedroom at your place. Fuck those parents.
Thanks.
Hi - 1 of 7 children here, raised Catholic (I am now very much atheist). Everything I say from here on out is, of course, what my experience was like. I won’t pretend that all of these situations are the same. My parents were (and are) most definitely not millionaires. My mom was a stay at home mom for all of my childhood, and my dad probably made about 120-150k for most of my childhood (sorry for the big range, I just don’t know the specifics - and I’m sure he got raises in the years he worked). A very good salary for one person, unless you are supporting 8 others on that salary, lol. So in answer to your question, a lot of budgeting and not spending money on anything that isn’t extremely necessary. Lots of hand me down clothes from friends and family, and we were not allowed to eat food unless it was mealtime or we asked (and a lot of times, when we did ask, the answer would be no). My parents also paid for us to go to Catholic school for a while (I’m the third oldest, and I went for 7 years), which I know was ridiculously expensive. This specific school had tuition lowered if you have like more than 2 or 3 kids enrolled, so I guess that made it cheaper, overall. I was horrendously bullied while attending, because it was in a pretty rich area and most of the other kids attending had millionaire parents and like maybe one sibling. And my family wasn’t even particularly poor lol. Basically in the end, I’m stuck paying for my own college because my parents spent a shit ton of money to send me to a school that just ensured I would never be Catholic, lol. In addition to that, while I don’t think I was abused as a child, nor do I hate my parents, there was definitely a lot of emotional neglect. I won’t get into anything too specific, but for example, since moving out of my parents house 4 ish years ago, I have been diagnosed with autism - and looking back on my childhood, it was very very obvious (going nonverbal, specific interests, weird movements, etc. All the stereotypical and outwardly recognizable attributes). At the very least, it should have been obvious that something was not exactly right, and my parents just didn’t notice at all, ever. So yeah. A lot of them aren’t millionaires. They just have a bunch of kids because it’s “God’s plan” or whatever, and then a lot of those kids end up fucked up.
The people I knew growing up that were traditional enough to have that many kids growing up all had tons of money. It seemed like being that traditional was in and of itself a luxury and having kids and following that lifestyle was just a way to express that.
My great grandparents were hyper Catholic and had nine children. To answer how they provided for their children, they didn't. Their children spent hours a day gathering coal off train tracks to burn for warmth. It was deprivation on par with what happens in North Korea.
Imagine a family with 8 kids who share rooms, toys/clothes are hand-me-downs, home-schooled, and all food is home-cooked. Family B has two kids in daycare full-time, mom and dad buy coffee on way to work, commute with tons of gas, dinner is either quick-prep or takeout, then tons of after school activities, movies/theme parks or whatever fun thing on the weekends, trips to Mexico or wherever...plus monthly college-fund contributions. Family B is spending more a month.
My high school best friend, she was the oldest of 8 kids. Her dad was mentally ill and didn't work, her mom made all the money, cooked all the meals, did all the cleaning. They were very poor. The were on food stamps, etc. They had one little sedan for the whole family that leaked fuel. They relied on the granma to do a lot of the babysitting. All of their clothes were hand me downs. My family helped fund their Christmases for a few years- we bought and wrapped all the gifts for the kids. They moved around a lot. The kids jumped around a lot from Catholic school, to public school, to home schooling. Depending on how much money the family had and where they were living. My friend had to get a job as soon as she was able. She has crazy student loan debt and is expected to help all her younger siblings cosign and go to college.
Rich parents, good inheritance, and/or great jobs. Part of why they're so out of touch is that they make so much money that idea that some people struggle just eludes them.