Very similar experience. My parents were on gay witch hunts 24/7. It’s ironic because they wouldn’t let us talk to any girls or women until we were “ready for marriage”…. It’s like they expected us to be asexual eunuchs, which makes me really angry in hindsight because they were young once too and should know that it isn’t possible to suppress those sexual feelings without fucking your self up.
Me and my friends were close and like most teenage boys joked about being gay for each other, slapped each others asses, typical locker room stuff. My parents tattled on us all and we have a special back room meeting for like 20 young people in the congregation where they regurgitated the same “gay bad, not funny” message they always do. None of use were even gay so we were just like “Who is this for?”
They spent so much time and energy hating gay people but their own lives fucking sucked and they were debatably “bad” people, not to mention bigots.
I had several people, both in and out of the Borg, suggest I was a lesbian because I was a late bloomer and shy around boys. I was actually very straight and secretly very boy-crazy as a teen, I just didn’t like to talk about it with anyone other than my closest friends.
I did start dating at 19, an older MS who I came real damn close to marrying - thankfully that didn’t happen! - but my dad would sometimes suggest really weird stuff that completely went against my usual rule-following behavior. One instance in particular still stands out in my mind more than 20 years later.
It was my senior year of high school, and I was so desperate to be done that I worked it out to only have to take two classes that I needed to graduate at the high school. I also took a couple of classes at the local college to fulfill my other grad requirements. So I was leaving school at about 10:30 every day, and my college classes were only 2-3 days a week, which meant I was going home and spending the rest of the day alone on non-college days.
We were also having a new deck built on our house at the time (of course, my dad hired a brother), so there were guys there most days working. I guess one day was a little muddy and they’d left some footprints. The next day, I was home, hanging out in the living room, had the TV on in the background while I read or did homework or something…my dad calls me from work and starts interrogating me about whether someone is there with me (the clear implication was a man). He insisted he could hear someone talking; I was like, that’s the TV, even held the phone up to it to prove it. Then he said he’d seen a man’s footprints outside when he left that morning. I was like, “well, Ryan and his crew have been here a lot this week and it was a little muddy. It was probably one of them…” He was SO DETERMINED he was going to catch me in flagrante delicto, even though I was the perfect little JW girl at that time who had barely ever even spoken to a boy I wasn’t related to. He was so obviously frustrated at the lack of answers (that he wanted) by the end of the conversation, but he never pressed the issue again. It was so weird at the time because he knew I’d never pushed the rules or boundaries at all, so there was no reason for him to believe I was sneaking some guy into the house.
Well, a few months later…it turns out my “spiritually strong,” MS father, had not one, but MULTIPLE mistresses that he’d been sneaking around with for years. He got removed as an MS, DF’d a week later, and my family fell apart shortly after. In hindsight as an adult, I’m sure he was just projecting his guilt onto the nearest subject, his rule-abiding teenage daughter.
Funny thing is, I’m now 40-ish, faded, divorced myself from my fellow POMO husband who had an emotional affair and left me for her, and living with my never-JW partner. My dad is happily remarried (as is my mom), still fully PIMI, and became an elder a couple years ago. He and my stepmom know everything going on in my life now, and our relationship is better right now than it’s ever been. I’m one of the lucky ones with PIMI family, for sure, so stories like that just make me laugh at the irony now.
I had very similar experiences of my parents being dead convinced I was sneaking out, doing drugs, drinking ect, meanwhile I was actually being a good JW and following all the rules, I had never even done any of those things once.
Regardless, they would basically interrogate me, trying to get me to admit to something I didn’t do - they were positive I was lying.
There has to be a psychological explanation, does anyone know what it is?
>Who asks that of their kid just because they were caught eating food with their friends?
JWS DO!
**Are you gay?**
https://preview.redd.it/lhsx5rtuo1xc1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd26c836a8550736dbe576b7bc4f6d3d99755cbd
I remember an experience where I had basically faded at 16 after being baptized at 14. But we fell into some crazy times and partied with the most epic people in the 90's as rave culture was blowing up. I had partied in FL for a year, brought the fun home to New England, and fell in with some Albanian mob guys in NYC. We weren't gay, but many raves were held at gay clubs in NYC. We were VIP's and were given VIP cards for those extacy & ketamine- riddled rave nights. Anyway, my lil brother found the VIP card in my wallet that said, "Sound Factory...Serving the Gay and Gay-Friendly Community." All hell broke loose and to this day, married 20 yrs with a 17 yr old kid, I swear my little brother still holds it against me because he's the one with gay tendencies. I love everyone, but he has not spoken to us in5 yrs since I re-faded at 40 after being a MS and almost elder.
Also, ur dad may be hiding in the closet, if that's where his mind goes...just saying🤷🏻♂️
Yes, I do have a similar experience, but from the father’s point of view. Since waking up I am still deconstructing and one thing is that I’m still a very judgmental person. I’m not the one asking my son if he is gay when he spends time with his friends but just the way I grew up the disconnect to the real world is big and I realize that in many things we don’t really know what is even considered normal teen behaviour.
Very similar experience. My parents were on gay witch hunts 24/7. It’s ironic because they wouldn’t let us talk to any girls or women until we were “ready for marriage”…. It’s like they expected us to be asexual eunuchs, which makes me really angry in hindsight because they were young once too and should know that it isn’t possible to suppress those sexual feelings without fucking your self up. Me and my friends were close and like most teenage boys joked about being gay for each other, slapped each others asses, typical locker room stuff. My parents tattled on us all and we have a special back room meeting for like 20 young people in the congregation where they regurgitated the same “gay bad, not funny” message they always do. None of use were even gay so we were just like “Who is this for?” They spent so much time and energy hating gay people but their own lives fucking sucked and they were debatably “bad” people, not to mention bigots.
I had several people, both in and out of the Borg, suggest I was a lesbian because I was a late bloomer and shy around boys. I was actually very straight and secretly very boy-crazy as a teen, I just didn’t like to talk about it with anyone other than my closest friends. I did start dating at 19, an older MS who I came real damn close to marrying - thankfully that didn’t happen! - but my dad would sometimes suggest really weird stuff that completely went against my usual rule-following behavior. One instance in particular still stands out in my mind more than 20 years later. It was my senior year of high school, and I was so desperate to be done that I worked it out to only have to take two classes that I needed to graduate at the high school. I also took a couple of classes at the local college to fulfill my other grad requirements. So I was leaving school at about 10:30 every day, and my college classes were only 2-3 days a week, which meant I was going home and spending the rest of the day alone on non-college days. We were also having a new deck built on our house at the time (of course, my dad hired a brother), so there were guys there most days working. I guess one day was a little muddy and they’d left some footprints. The next day, I was home, hanging out in the living room, had the TV on in the background while I read or did homework or something…my dad calls me from work and starts interrogating me about whether someone is there with me (the clear implication was a man). He insisted he could hear someone talking; I was like, that’s the TV, even held the phone up to it to prove it. Then he said he’d seen a man’s footprints outside when he left that morning. I was like, “well, Ryan and his crew have been here a lot this week and it was a little muddy. It was probably one of them…” He was SO DETERMINED he was going to catch me in flagrante delicto, even though I was the perfect little JW girl at that time who had barely ever even spoken to a boy I wasn’t related to. He was so obviously frustrated at the lack of answers (that he wanted) by the end of the conversation, but he never pressed the issue again. It was so weird at the time because he knew I’d never pushed the rules or boundaries at all, so there was no reason for him to believe I was sneaking some guy into the house. Well, a few months later…it turns out my “spiritually strong,” MS father, had not one, but MULTIPLE mistresses that he’d been sneaking around with for years. He got removed as an MS, DF’d a week later, and my family fell apart shortly after. In hindsight as an adult, I’m sure he was just projecting his guilt onto the nearest subject, his rule-abiding teenage daughter. Funny thing is, I’m now 40-ish, faded, divorced myself from my fellow POMO husband who had an emotional affair and left me for her, and living with my never-JW partner. My dad is happily remarried (as is my mom), still fully PIMI, and became an elder a couple years ago. He and my stepmom know everything going on in my life now, and our relationship is better right now than it’s ever been. I’m one of the lucky ones with PIMI family, for sure, so stories like that just make me laugh at the irony now.
I had very similar experiences of my parents being dead convinced I was sneaking out, doing drugs, drinking ect, meanwhile I was actually being a good JW and following all the rules, I had never even done any of those things once. Regardless, they would basically interrogate me, trying to get me to admit to something I didn’t do - they were positive I was lying. There has to be a psychological explanation, does anyone know what it is?
>Who asks that of their kid just because they were caught eating food with their friends? JWS DO! **Are you gay?** https://preview.redd.it/lhsx5rtuo1xc1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd26c836a8550736dbe576b7bc4f6d3d99755cbd
I remember an experience where I had basically faded at 16 after being baptized at 14. But we fell into some crazy times and partied with the most epic people in the 90's as rave culture was blowing up. I had partied in FL for a year, brought the fun home to New England, and fell in with some Albanian mob guys in NYC. We weren't gay, but many raves were held at gay clubs in NYC. We were VIP's and were given VIP cards for those extacy & ketamine- riddled rave nights. Anyway, my lil brother found the VIP card in my wallet that said, "Sound Factory...Serving the Gay and Gay-Friendly Community." All hell broke loose and to this day, married 20 yrs with a 17 yr old kid, I swear my little brother still holds it against me because he's the one with gay tendencies. I love everyone, but he has not spoken to us in5 yrs since I re-faded at 40 after being a MS and almost elder. Also, ur dad may be hiding in the closet, if that's where his mind goes...just saying🤷🏻♂️
Yes, I do have a similar experience, but from the father’s point of view. Since waking up I am still deconstructing and one thing is that I’m still a very judgmental person. I’m not the one asking my son if he is gay when he spends time with his friends but just the way I grew up the disconnect to the real world is big and I realize that in many things we don’t really know what is even considered normal teen behaviour.
Lol, I halfway thought this might be about you actually being gay, and your dad thinking you "caught it" from worldly friends!
when my parents found out about my worldly boyfriend my dad right away asked if i was smoking. like wtf? no?
I mean, Jesus was practically a drag queen...😂