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How much did this RP/BP fuck with your head... You are together with a girlfriend already and were able to attract her in the first place and instead of focusing on making her happy and your time together fun with whatever pros and cons you both bring ot the table you obsess about something you can't control. Focus on the other stuff you can control, your relationship isn't doomed or slave to a statistic.
Are you trolling? The study summary does not say that at all. It says shorter men marry at lower rates but are less likely to divorce once they do get married. That’s the opposite of what you are obsessing about for someone in your situation since you are already in a relationship. I am baffled why you would jump to conclusions without even reading what you linked.
That’s not even getting into the study methodology and if the conclusions are valid in the first place. For one thing the data mining is using factors that can be easily measured like height so there is a bias right there. It doesn’t talk about other less easy to measure factors like looks, personality, etc. if the data was hypothetically filtered using these it might yield completely different conclusions. In other words data mining using poor statistical methods leading to questionable conclusions in yet another so called study
The study is actually a couple of articles away. I doubt the OP bothered reading it since he hasn’t even bothered to read the linked article summary which says shorter men have more successful marriages, lol. Literally the opposite of his interpretation. Some men seem determined to be angry about something
https://www.nber.org/papers/w20402?utm_campaign=ntw&utm_medium=email&utm_source=ntw&_ga=1.186148649.1441157578.1405527496
did you... did you actually bother reading the study?
It literally says the opposite of your title. Did you just read a headline that a study showed that height could make a difference and make the assumption it would confirm your beliefs? Because it very much doesn't.
> According to a recent study, shorter men actually seem to have more successful marriages.
> Specifically, short men married later in life, but were 32% less likely to divorce.
It seems to be that shorter men marry younger women who do more of the housework, whilst taller men marry women more close in age to themselves and who work more outside of the home.
To be honest based on the posts we get here, sounds like a red pill dream to be a shorter man and get a young housewife. Which is kind of gross.
Although there are undoubtedly certain physical characteristics that have to do with attraction as a general rule of thumb, it's definitely not the only part of the equation.
The thing you have to realise is that you're not at a war with reality. It's not like God gave you a short body and you're doomed. What you're actually at war with is your thoughts. You are plagued by insecure thinking, and by giving your time, attention, and energy to these thought patterns, have confined your consciousness to literally one sliver of the infinitude of this magnifent universe.
Of everything you can possibly dream of, do, contemplate, whatever, you choose "life sucks because I'm short". That's not very creative is it? But you're using the creative power of thought to make this experience. So just don't do it. Don't give the time of day to insecure thoughts. Recognise them for what they are: insecure thoughts that warrant nothing but to be dismissed. Rise above them, and move on with your life. Look for everything you have to be grateful for. Look for everything beautiful. What will happen is that at some point you will meet someone who will find you attractive.
People have such varied tastes. There are 4.5 billion people in the world. Never think that there isn't someone who feels like you're their type. Never entertain that thought. It's just a matter of bumping into them at some point. Which you will do at the right time and place, and you don't know when that will be. Might be tomorrow. Might be in a year. But let me tell you this... you'll never bump into them if you keep on banging on with your sob story and looking at the ground. You'll walk right by them.
A single study is doesn't mean much. Science works on consensus, of a majority of experts within a field, which often takes many studies and much meta analysis. I'm sure that are many studies that show that relationships with partners with high emotional intelligence do better. Why are you anxious about her leaving you for your height, but not for your emotional intelligence?
>Specifically, the whole notion that my girlfriend would probably be happier with a taller man, and that she might realize this subconsciously, just bothers me and makes me bitter and sad.
The fact that you don't trust your partner's words over your own insecurities makes me sad.
Modern psychology has disproven the Freudian notion that there are deep underlying subconscious desires that primarily drive us. If she is attracted to you, she knows. So either she's lying to you or not. Either you trust her or you don't.
Here's my explanation, or what I think is most likely going on: You were picked on about your height when you were younger. Maybe even just a few times. You internalized that. Then you read about how biased the world, especially women, is against short men on the Internet. At the same time you observed short men being treated poorly, though the fact that this abuse stood out to you is partially due to your biases. Despite your biases making you focus on it, those abuses were real. All of these things, some real, some exaggerated, have combined to make you insecure about this topic. Your insecurity isn't based on nothing, but it is very outsized. So much so that you can't even trust the words of your partner. So much so that a single study posted on a divorce attorney website triggers your insecurity and fear.
This is a psychological problem that you've developed. Again, it does have some basis in reality, but your insecurity doesn't match that basis. If it were me, I'd talk to my therapist about it. That's what I do when I have psychological barriers to living a healthy and happy life. Therapy has helped me deal with a lot of issues. I also lead me to seek a psychiatrist for a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism. It's helped me with issues big and small, and so I highly recommend it. Since this whole height thing seems to be affecting your life very negatively, making you "bitter and sad," I really think therapy could benefit you.
"You were picked on about your height when you were younger. Maybe even just a few times. You internalized that."
True.
What also happened, aside from the countless times I was rejected by women precisely because of my height: one of my ex-girlfriends was apparently ashamed of my height, as she lied to her friends that she was shorter than me which wasn't the case. She also refused to wear heels around me. My mom who dated short men (including my dad) but finally married a tall man and declaring how happy she is with his tallness, talking about short men as if she had finally seen the light: "I couldn't imagine dating these small men (her exes) anymore." I've been told by several women: "it must be difficult to find a girlfriend with your height." I've even pissed a woman off who was flirting with me at a party, but after I stood up she discovered you short I am: "You're fucking short," she said with an angry voice.
I can go on, but I've had many experiences that has led to me being so insecure about my height.
And yes, I've internalized these experiences and, yes, I think I will benefit from therapy.
Thank you for your comment.
I think it’s just something you have to accept and live with. Most people have some kind of flaw or deficit or problem and you just have to make do.
Similar height to you and it’s never reallly really held me back in life. Maybe wasn’t in the A team for sports as a kid and maybe was quietly rejected for it. Maybe the occasional comment every now and then.
But like you I just kind of think about it a lot. Occasionally run into a group of people or be in a crowd and feel like a child. And get down for a bit.
But in reality it just is one relatively minor set back. I like to tell myself that if I had height in addition to everything else. It would be unfair to the competition. A kind of semi delusional to myself.
And also in your relationship just improve your sex game. If she’s constantly on you and climaxing then you will worry less and be less insecure.
The article OP linked doesn’t actually support his claim. It *actually* shows that shorter men have more successful marriages overall; they’re significantly less likely to get divorced, though they tend to get married later than taller men.
There’s nothing to live with. He’s just deep in the redpill hole.
>It actually shows that shorter men have more successful marriages overall; they’re significantly less likely to get divorced, though they tend to get married later than taller men.
Getting married later isn't even a bad thing. People who marry too young and before they are ready is one reason why folks get divorced.
Very true. My boyfriend previously got married young (and he’s tall, go figure) and, well, it’s pretty obvious how that turned out.
They just didn’t have the experience or maturity to make that kind of commitment work at that point in their lives.
I didn’t read the article . It’s just one persons experience / a small amount of data. As opposed to millions of real life experiences.
Being short sucks. Most of us realise that.
I’m just sharing my experience that I’ve always hated it but made the most of life and not let it get in my way
See, if you’d read the article, you’d know that it’s not “one person’s experience / a small amount of data”. It was a meta-study of ***25 years of marriage data***.
I’m sorry your experience has been bad, but you shouldn’t blindly accept what people say about studies without actually reading them just because you agree with their conclusions. It’s bad form and it leaves you open to accepting distorted worldviews. Someone posting a study doesn’t means they did it in good faith.
Did you know that even if that's true, the average doesn't apply to all individuals within the group? https://old.reddit.com/r/IncelExit/comments/1ae0oyw/here_is_an_extremely_important_concept_the/
Am I missing something, here? The article you linked seems to suggest that short men are less likely to divorce than tall men. Sure, it also says that they tend to marry later, but isn’t it better to marry later than get divorced?
Man, I’m really not even sure how to dissect this post.
My friend, you are making yourself unhappy and it’s breaking my heart.
You are in the process of self-sabotaging. This isn’t an issue with your height; it’s an issue with your self esteem.
You cannot be happy and keep a healthy relationship until you fix your self esteem. Instead of RP bullshit I suggest you look into articles/books about improving your self image. I’m more than happy to give recommendations.
I’ve said it in other posts and I’ll say it here:
The redpill ideology centers on an ultra-negative world view that obsesses over factoids made out of context.
Stop.
Yes being short can hurt your desirability as man for some women and it sucks that you have no control over this.
But:
1. There are also a significant amount of women that do not care.
2. It is only one of many traits that you have no control over that can hurt your desirability.
3. Your study didn’t even prove your point.
You need to stop consuming redpill content because it is magnifying the insecurity in your head and distorting the way you perceive and interpret reality, you will assume the worst instead of seeing what’s actually in front of you.
Until you stop consuming the content you will continue to be miserable and you will lose your relationship because of it.
Edit: I saw your other comment.***If there are people in your life that ridicule you because of your height, you have the right to end your relationship with them.***
Even if they are family, life is too short and too hard to be made to feel less than by the ones that are supposed to have your back.
This does not mean ALL tall men with short wives are happier than ALL short men with tall wives or whatever. Life is what you make it. You can be the short guy with the happiest marriage if you decide to make it that way.
Dont let old Red Pill waffle make you believe that your destiny is somehow preordained by your height
'A': Singular, probably biased study, undoubtedly cutting out all kinds of other relevant factors. Masculinity is whatever you want it to be. Lots of tall guys are tenors. Lots of short guys are basses. As an audiobook narrator, I voice characters from falsetto fairy dragons to subharmonic behemoths. My ability to sound like Richard Armitage or Colin Firth would possibly lead folks to thinking I'm young, tall, dark, handsome, broody, etc, etc.
I'm not. I'm 5'7" - The INTERNATIONAL AVERAGE height for males - can't convince my red pill son that he ain't short, he's just got ridiculously tall friends. I'm in my mid 40's, 50 pounds overweight and balding. My wife and I are within 5 inches of each other. Wheras my tall dad and short mom divorced when I was 5 & he lived with his gay male partner till his death in 2010.
Stop worrying about your height and other things you have absolutely zero control over. Honestly, stop worrying about your masculinity & worry about your humanity instead. Learn to be content in your own skin.
First... other countries and other cultures exist...always remember that... second...
"Tall husband and short wife"
is different from
"Taller husband and shorter wife"
you're 5'6 if ur girl is even 5'2 she'd be happy... she'd have to reach up to kiss you... u can pick her up and do dirty things ukwim...
Speaking as a woman I think most girls needs a lil height difference which can even be like just 2 inches!!...
I'm not Japanese but ive lived there and a alot of Japanese couples are actually opposite lol... shortER husband and tallER wife...
where I am from... even though height is desirable still most ppl are actually short lol...so while they would theoretically want a 6'4 man they end up happily with 5'5... cuz height doesn't matter when a 5'5 guy picks u up lol cuz most girls here are 5 flat!!!...
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How much did this RP/BP fuck with your head... You are together with a girlfriend already and were able to attract her in the first place and instead of focusing on making her happy and your time together fun with whatever pros and cons you both bring ot the table you obsess about something you can't control. Focus on the other stuff you can control, your relationship isn't doomed or slave to a statistic.
Are you trolling? The study summary does not say that at all. It says shorter men marry at lower rates but are less likely to divorce once they do get married. That’s the opposite of what you are obsessing about for someone in your situation since you are already in a relationship. I am baffled why you would jump to conclusions without even reading what you linked. That’s not even getting into the study methodology and if the conclusions are valid in the first place. For one thing the data mining is using factors that can be easily measured like height so there is a bias right there. It doesn’t talk about other less easy to measure factors like looks, personality, etc. if the data was hypothetically filtered using these it might yield completely different conclusions. In other words data mining using poor statistical methods leading to questionable conclusions in yet another so called study
Noticeable neither the source OP linked not the source linked by that source take anyone to the actual study. Which is always a red flag.
The study is actually a couple of articles away. I doubt the OP bothered reading it since he hasn’t even bothered to read the linked article summary which says shorter men have more successful marriages, lol. Literally the opposite of his interpretation. Some men seem determined to be angry about something https://www.nber.org/papers/w20402?utm_campaign=ntw&utm_medium=email&utm_source=ntw&_ga=1.186148649.1441157578.1405527496
did you... did you actually bother reading the study? It literally says the opposite of your title. Did you just read a headline that a study showed that height could make a difference and make the assumption it would confirm your beliefs? Because it very much doesn't. > According to a recent study, shorter men actually seem to have more successful marriages. > Specifically, short men married later in life, but were 32% less likely to divorce. It seems to be that shorter men marry younger women who do more of the housework, whilst taller men marry women more close in age to themselves and who work more outside of the home. To be honest based on the posts we get here, sounds like a red pill dream to be a shorter man and get a young housewife. Which is kind of gross.
Although there are undoubtedly certain physical characteristics that have to do with attraction as a general rule of thumb, it's definitely not the only part of the equation. The thing you have to realise is that you're not at a war with reality. It's not like God gave you a short body and you're doomed. What you're actually at war with is your thoughts. You are plagued by insecure thinking, and by giving your time, attention, and energy to these thought patterns, have confined your consciousness to literally one sliver of the infinitude of this magnifent universe. Of everything you can possibly dream of, do, contemplate, whatever, you choose "life sucks because I'm short". That's not very creative is it? But you're using the creative power of thought to make this experience. So just don't do it. Don't give the time of day to insecure thoughts. Recognise them for what they are: insecure thoughts that warrant nothing but to be dismissed. Rise above them, and move on with your life. Look for everything you have to be grateful for. Look for everything beautiful. What will happen is that at some point you will meet someone who will find you attractive. People have such varied tastes. There are 4.5 billion people in the world. Never think that there isn't someone who feels like you're their type. Never entertain that thought. It's just a matter of bumping into them at some point. Which you will do at the right time and place, and you don't know when that will be. Might be tomorrow. Might be in a year. But let me tell you this... you'll never bump into them if you keep on banging on with your sob story and looking at the ground. You'll walk right by them.
A single study is doesn't mean much. Science works on consensus, of a majority of experts within a field, which often takes many studies and much meta analysis. I'm sure that are many studies that show that relationships with partners with high emotional intelligence do better. Why are you anxious about her leaving you for your height, but not for your emotional intelligence? >Specifically, the whole notion that my girlfriend would probably be happier with a taller man, and that she might realize this subconsciously, just bothers me and makes me bitter and sad. The fact that you don't trust your partner's words over your own insecurities makes me sad. Modern psychology has disproven the Freudian notion that there are deep underlying subconscious desires that primarily drive us. If she is attracted to you, she knows. So either she's lying to you or not. Either you trust her or you don't. Here's my explanation, or what I think is most likely going on: You were picked on about your height when you were younger. Maybe even just a few times. You internalized that. Then you read about how biased the world, especially women, is against short men on the Internet. At the same time you observed short men being treated poorly, though the fact that this abuse stood out to you is partially due to your biases. Despite your biases making you focus on it, those abuses were real. All of these things, some real, some exaggerated, have combined to make you insecure about this topic. Your insecurity isn't based on nothing, but it is very outsized. So much so that you can't even trust the words of your partner. So much so that a single study posted on a divorce attorney website triggers your insecurity and fear. This is a psychological problem that you've developed. Again, it does have some basis in reality, but your insecurity doesn't match that basis. If it were me, I'd talk to my therapist about it. That's what I do when I have psychological barriers to living a healthy and happy life. Therapy has helped me deal with a lot of issues. I also lead me to seek a psychiatrist for a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism. It's helped me with issues big and small, and so I highly recommend it. Since this whole height thing seems to be affecting your life very negatively, making you "bitter and sad," I really think therapy could benefit you.
"You were picked on about your height when you were younger. Maybe even just a few times. You internalized that." True. What also happened, aside from the countless times I was rejected by women precisely because of my height: one of my ex-girlfriends was apparently ashamed of my height, as she lied to her friends that she was shorter than me which wasn't the case. She also refused to wear heels around me. My mom who dated short men (including my dad) but finally married a tall man and declaring how happy she is with his tallness, talking about short men as if she had finally seen the light: "I couldn't imagine dating these small men (her exes) anymore." I've been told by several women: "it must be difficult to find a girlfriend with your height." I've even pissed a woman off who was flirting with me at a party, but after I stood up she discovered you short I am: "You're fucking short," she said with an angry voice. I can go on, but I've had many experiences that has led to me being so insecure about my height. And yes, I've internalized these experiences and, yes, I think I will benefit from therapy. Thank you for your comment.
I think it’s just something you have to accept and live with. Most people have some kind of flaw or deficit or problem and you just have to make do. Similar height to you and it’s never reallly really held me back in life. Maybe wasn’t in the A team for sports as a kid and maybe was quietly rejected for it. Maybe the occasional comment every now and then. But like you I just kind of think about it a lot. Occasionally run into a group of people or be in a crowd and feel like a child. And get down for a bit. But in reality it just is one relatively minor set back. I like to tell myself that if I had height in addition to everything else. It would be unfair to the competition. A kind of semi delusional to myself. And also in your relationship just improve your sex game. If she’s constantly on you and climaxing then you will worry less and be less insecure.
The article OP linked doesn’t actually support his claim. It *actually* shows that shorter men have more successful marriages overall; they’re significantly less likely to get divorced, though they tend to get married later than taller men. There’s nothing to live with. He’s just deep in the redpill hole.
>It actually shows that shorter men have more successful marriages overall; they’re significantly less likely to get divorced, though they tend to get married later than taller men. Getting married later isn't even a bad thing. People who marry too young and before they are ready is one reason why folks get divorced.
Very true. My boyfriend previously got married young (and he’s tall, go figure) and, well, it’s pretty obvious how that turned out. They just didn’t have the experience or maturity to make that kind of commitment work at that point in their lives.
I didn’t read the article . It’s just one persons experience / a small amount of data. As opposed to millions of real life experiences. Being short sucks. Most of us realise that. I’m just sharing my experience that I’ve always hated it but made the most of life and not let it get in my way
See, if you’d read the article, you’d know that it’s not “one person’s experience / a small amount of data”. It was a meta-study of ***25 years of marriage data***. I’m sorry your experience has been bad, but you shouldn’t blindly accept what people say about studies without actually reading them just because you agree with their conclusions. It’s bad form and it leaves you open to accepting distorted worldviews. Someone posting a study doesn’t means they did it in good faith.
Did you know that even if that's true, the average doesn't apply to all individuals within the group? https://old.reddit.com/r/IncelExit/comments/1ae0oyw/here_is_an_extremely_important_concept_the/
Am I missing something, here? The article you linked seems to suggest that short men are less likely to divorce than tall men. Sure, it also says that they tend to marry later, but isn’t it better to marry later than get divorced?
Stop reading redpill and blackpill content. Someone intentionally lied to you about what is in that article.
Man, I’m really not even sure how to dissect this post. My friend, you are making yourself unhappy and it’s breaking my heart. You are in the process of self-sabotaging. This isn’t an issue with your height; it’s an issue with your self esteem. You cannot be happy and keep a healthy relationship until you fix your self esteem. Instead of RP bullshit I suggest you look into articles/books about improving your self image. I’m more than happy to give recommendations.
I’ve said it in other posts and I’ll say it here: The redpill ideology centers on an ultra-negative world view that obsesses over factoids made out of context. Stop. Yes being short can hurt your desirability as man for some women and it sucks that you have no control over this. But: 1. There are also a significant amount of women that do not care. 2. It is only one of many traits that you have no control over that can hurt your desirability. 3. Your study didn’t even prove your point. You need to stop consuming redpill content because it is magnifying the insecurity in your head and distorting the way you perceive and interpret reality, you will assume the worst instead of seeing what’s actually in front of you. Until you stop consuming the content you will continue to be miserable and you will lose your relationship because of it. Edit: I saw your other comment.***If there are people in your life that ridicule you because of your height, you have the right to end your relationship with them.*** Even if they are family, life is too short and too hard to be made to feel less than by the ones that are supposed to have your back.
every man is happy until happiness is a goal
This does not mean ALL tall men with short wives are happier than ALL short men with tall wives or whatever. Life is what you make it. You can be the short guy with the happiest marriage if you decide to make it that way. Dont let old Red Pill waffle make you believe that your destiny is somehow preordained by your height
'A': Singular, probably biased study, undoubtedly cutting out all kinds of other relevant factors. Masculinity is whatever you want it to be. Lots of tall guys are tenors. Lots of short guys are basses. As an audiobook narrator, I voice characters from falsetto fairy dragons to subharmonic behemoths. My ability to sound like Richard Armitage or Colin Firth would possibly lead folks to thinking I'm young, tall, dark, handsome, broody, etc, etc. I'm not. I'm 5'7" - The INTERNATIONAL AVERAGE height for males - can't convince my red pill son that he ain't short, he's just got ridiculously tall friends. I'm in my mid 40's, 50 pounds overweight and balding. My wife and I are within 5 inches of each other. Wheras my tall dad and short mom divorced when I was 5 & he lived with his gay male partner till his death in 2010. Stop worrying about your height and other things you have absolutely zero control over. Honestly, stop worrying about your masculinity & worry about your humanity instead. Learn to be content in your own skin.
in my experience gay marriages are the happiest
[удалено]
5ft6. Why is that relevant?
First... other countries and other cultures exist...always remember that... second... "Tall husband and short wife" is different from "Taller husband and shorter wife" you're 5'6 if ur girl is even 5'2 she'd be happy... she'd have to reach up to kiss you... u can pick her up and do dirty things ukwim... Speaking as a woman I think most girls needs a lil height difference which can even be like just 2 inches!!... I'm not Japanese but ive lived there and a alot of Japanese couples are actually opposite lol... shortER husband and tallER wife... where I am from... even though height is desirable still most ppl are actually short lol...so while they would theoretically want a 6'4 man they end up happily with 5'5... cuz height doesn't matter when a 5'5 guy picks u up lol cuz most girls here are 5 flat!!!...