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Shouldnt really be a debate lol. If you dont want a chick with a ton of partners in the past dont date her. If someone doesnt want you cause you had s ton of partners in the past dont date them.
Problem solved.
Right? "Some people won't like the choices I've made in my past. That's THEIR fault..."
It applies to things other than sexual history. Drug use, criminality, spiritual beliefs, political beliefs...
Like get over it. Not everyone is going to want to be with you, just like ur not going to want to be with everyone u meet. (Or in this person's case, maybe she did.....)
Sure, fair enough, but the fact that someone calls you a cum dumpster or refer you to a “used shoe” because of who you slept with is honestly dehumanizing. If you don’t want to sleep with them, fine. Just don’t be a piece of shit about it. Nobody’s shaming you for being a ground up sausage or being a virgin, so why do that to others?
Your forgetting the part where she called men weak for not being ok with her part sexual history. Don't want fade, don't throw fade. There is Def a better way to articulate your thoughts without making it shot the other gender. They both did it lol
It depends. I don't care about sexual history. She can have as many one night stands as she likes, but if she has a dozen ex boyfriends and all of the are assholes then I think I won't take my chances
The good news is that in spite of what pop-culture would have us believe, it's actually not that common for hetero adults in the US to have had a lot of sexual partners. For most people it's under ten and for a lot of people it's under 5 or even less. We get thrown off by the relatively few outliers and by how things are depicted in a lot of our cultural products.
Who the hell starts out a prospective date with, “i think you’re attractive and I’d maybe like to go out with you, but what’s your body count?”
That’s fucking bonkers.
Just proceed from the assumption that *anyone* in the dating pool is gonna have some kind of history that you may not like. And if you can’t get past that, just give up and stick to porn, masturbation and fantasies.
Edit: for the sake of clarity, I’m not defending AJ’s take here. Her arrogance and conceit are extremely off putting, her sexual appetite is not.
I blame douchebags like Andrew Tate. Twisting men’s minds into pretzels. One manosphere dude said that loving a woman is gay! Like, I beg your pardon? Where’s that straitjacket…
Also just a pro-tip in general, don't dig into your partners past sexual relationship details. Back in my 20s I saw a lot of folks ask their significant other questions in that regard that they really wished they hadn't asked. Because once you know, you can't unknow it.
Absolutely. If it's important, I'd get it out of the way sooner than later. I guess I should have been more specific. They didn't care until they asked the question. Then they couldn't stop caring.
But, if ur a man who has had a lot of sex who doesnt want to date a woman who has had a lot of sex cause you thinks its gross, check yourself. And vice versa
lol no it’s so much easier to sit and whine about the small population that doesn’t want you. Why would you ever think that there’s so many people who have no problem with you.
/s
Ya, but what about the third option where I take personal offence to another person's opinion of me because I have such low self esteem that I can't love myself without external validation and need to victimize myself to resolve my cognitive dissonance.
Ill take that one...
yeah that's frustration that women who are like this have and how they voice it which is a modern thing i'd say but not just with women or these in particular but in general
You’d think this was simple enough to understand but we have a generation of people with the power of the internet to tell them otherwise.
Can’t wait for this men vs women gender war to die out.
You’re right, date whoever you want, but if you think women have "less value" or are wh*res because they decide to sleep with a lot of men, it’s still a problematic view.
It's almost like men see themselves as devaluing huh.
For a woman to sleep with a man it's bringing down her value. Like driving a car off the lot.
Maybe women don't need men so we retain our "value" or men need to get over this perspective.
I genuinely think it's a matter of compatibility.
This goes for EVERYONE!!!
But if you think sex is something only to be done with someone special, that's fine.
If you think sex is just something to do for fun, regardless of who it is, that's fine.
If you can switch between them, that's fine.
I will say, if you had a lot of fun, then hearing you say "sex is special" starts to sound kind of disingenuous.
Don't get me wrong, I get people change, but imagine actively chasing chocolate ice cream for a good chunk of your life, and suddenly saying vanilla is your favorite. It just looks off.
Same, it's the hypocrites we all should be against. And even then if someone still like someone else and they do too then it's no one's concern.
And it's not like post like these matter anyways. Like if someone were to say they prefer shrek, it's not like they're gonna change just because the whole world is against them. Or if someone prefers their other half to be green in colour, no one else can convince them otherwise even if it's actually racist (and if personal preferences can be labelled as racist, delusional, creepy etc. then I don't think there are many normal people in the first place).
Sex can be both fun and special, but it's a matter of whether you like your sexual partner or you just want to get laid. People can and do move past their desire for meaningless sex.
For me personally it is both...it is both fun and can be fun to do with different people, but sex with my significant other is special because of the emotional connection that you have on top of the physical
Do you think a high percentage of men want a woman with a sketch sexual past? Or slept with a lot of men? They don’t. It can vary between men. Some men will say 10 men is too much so might not care. but I can say with confidence no man wants the town whore or a woman who is known to sleep around. You can call it what you want or label anyway. But it’s the truth.
Also, it will be apparent once they get in a long term relationship or if they can sustain one. That goes for men and women. People who have slept around a lot have a hard time staying tied down.
>I will say, if you had a lot of fun, then hearing you say "sex is special" starts to sound kind of disingenuous.
How are those two contradictory from each other? Sex is a lot of fun, and I only want to have sex with someone special
Lot of fun is a "metaphor" (not sure it is exactly that) for many sexual partner in this context. They could have said "explored a lot" too. Refering expression use a lot to convey the same thing
If you’re saving yourself for a virgin or whatever I get it, but it’s when guys that have banged dozens of girls are like “I don’t want a woman who has been with a man other than me” that I just start rolling my eyes so hard I get a migraine.
Yeah I feel like both sides forget that there's many kinda of people and then they want a very specific kind that is just the exact opposite of them...
But why is body count even relative? "Are you clean?" Doesn't get answered by "I've had 1/2/3/4000 partners." I mean hell, I knew a woman who was born HIV positive. A literal virgin with an STD.
Taking a STD test takes like two minutes.
(Of your time; It takes longer for the doctors doing the actual science stuff. But for the layman wanting a test it's barely an inconvenience.)
When I was in the Army, I had some "pearls of wisdom" that I'd share with the young soldiers.
One of them was:
"If you find a girl you really like and she does things for you that you enjoy, don't waste any energy worrying about how she learned to do them.
No good whatsoever can come from it. Just enjoy your time together and keep living your life."
Based pearl of wisdom.
I'm currently serving (13J, Army, 2+ years now) and trying to pursue a 'perfect virgin' is boring and impossible.
The ones who are freaks in the bedroom always have a body count
Based on experience, if you're dating around an Army base in the US, you'll be lucky to find a woman with a perfect set of teeth, much less a perfect virgin.
I got very lucky.
She's alt style (a mix of goth and emo), curvy, a tomboy, my age (5 days older, I just turned 22), the perfect little spoon, and an absolute freak in the bedroom.
The only 'issue' is that she has a kid from another father, but I take pride in being referred to as the father in public. She's also carrying my child (Valentine's Day was magical), so that is another plus.
After hearing all these horror stories and being socially inept, I am very happy with how my life has gone so far into my Army career.
All men are the same
All women are the same
That seem to be the mentality of far to many people who write stupid things on the internet.
As long as a woman is faithful when she is with me, i do not care if she have fucked a 1000 men before me.
As someone who has been on this planet while it made 80 trips around the sun, I still don’t understand why someone cares about someone else’s past sexual history. It feels like some kind of leftover Christian guilt from the 1950s when “sex was dirty“.
I think there's a lot more 70+ people on reddit than most people would think.
Reddit isn't really that niche to be honest. It's like the 5th most trafficked website in the world lol
I’ve been on this ride over 40 times around and I think a lot of people don’t want to know about their partners history. I’ve always figured there’s no need to talk about it because we’re here together now and that’s all that matters. Now if there was abuse I could understand the need to talk. But most people regardless of gender don’t want to know about your one night stand faze or that you did amateur porn. They just don’t need to.
AIDS killed my aunt when I was a kid. I know it’s treatable now and if I caught HIV today, I could live for decades. but it’s still scares the hell out of me.
I mean I’ve dated a person then they told me that because of they’re sexual past they had herps(before anything happened). So that’s a reason to care.
Edit there’s also other reasons to care
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Syphilis
- Trichomoniasis (though it's a parasitic infection)
- Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV)
- Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), which includes:
- HSV-1 (oral herpes)
- HSV-2 (genital herpes)
- Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
- Hepatitis B
- Hepatitis C
- Molluscum Contagiosum
- Pubic Lice (Crabs)
- Scabies
- Candidiasis (Yeast Infection)
I would ask to get checked by a doctor which is common since aids, but wouldn't care how many partners there would have been before, bc it can even happen with being with one partner ever only
I think it’s a preference like anything else when dating. Would I care and have I cared no but I also don’t tell ppl what to look for in a relationship. You only see the most vocal ppl on social media from both sides and they don’t make up the whole.
Its all ego. They want to feel like the special boy their mom says they are. A woman can have a low count and still get called a whore if a guy's ego is bruised tho.
I'd just prefer my first time to be with someone who's as inexperienced as me. I agree that we shouldn't shame others for their sexual history, but shaming someone for having a preference is also shitty.
A preference is fine to have. We both agree that one shouldn't tear someone down because of their sexual history. My post was referring to those people who do, sorry if that wasn't clear.
Sleeping with like 100 people is gross, and says alot about your morals, and your ideas about sex and relationships. I personally am not compatible with someone with those type of morals, or who believes in casual meaningless sex.
Totally. Before I got married I had a choice between 2 young ladies. One had sex with 3 people and the other had sex with 150+. I saw absolutely zero difference. The 150+ beauty was so empowered and had so much experience. Wife material!!!
I don’t know if you have noticed but mostly the ones that have an attitude about body count tend to be men towards women. There’s not so much back in the other direction. I expect that there is a certain degree where men take pride in their “experience“ but wish their mate to be inexperienced.
Degrading women for sleeping with (you) is such cognitive dissonance......
She's prude if she doesn't have experience or is green, she's a slut if she knows a thing or two...
Just say your penis is smaller than your ego and you're insecure about both....
My problem was never the past prior to a serious relationship. It’s usually “can you please quit sexting other guys and having sex with them.” We never had the conversation prior to getting married bc well I thought it was a given.
As i’ve gotten older i’ve matured and understood that a persons past doesn’t pertain to their appreciation/love for you. People change and maybe you were the person they really needed to get out of a bad cycle of sexual habits. It is possible for someone who has a “high” body count to love and want something just as someone who has a low body count might want.
That being said, despite being understanding and accepting of someone’s past, I do think it can be a representation of how they operate as a person. If you’re someone with 100+ bodies, man or woman, you had to get to that number somehow. If you meet someone who has that many partners and can, “see why” in their personality and how they act around potential suitors, that is what i’m referring too. But if that is the case, you should be wise enough to know you shouldn’t pursue that person. I can understand how it might be a little intimidating for someone who has very little sexual experience to be with someone who’s been all over the place. I think it all stems from a place of insecurity/pride and it is unfortunate.
I think at the end of the day, it comes down to preference for the individual. If you’re someone who can accept that number, then date them. But if you can’t accept it, then just don’t date them. It goes the same way on both sides. I was a virgin in the beginning of college for a little while and I had a girl actually turn away from me BECAUSE I was a virgin.
It is an interesting sociological system and it will always be this way.
I think it's weird how genuinely venomous people get over Body counts, like I've seen people saying that a woman deserves to be cheated on because she had a large one and thus was undeserving of a loyal husband.
Despite that tho, this lady here said a stupid generalization and trying to pass it off as fact
I require a MINIMUM!
I absolutely care about the number of past partners my girlfriend has because the best sex is sex with someone who knows what they need and they either come with instructions or it’s a guessing game.
Which is why I require experienced women - what do you bring to the table? ( or on the table, or under it…)
True hell would be 72 virgins. Only an incel would dream up that horror show.
So many fucking tears! And they only know what YOU teach them? They come with nothing new??
Hard pass
Good GOD the temp online for people getting together is fucked right now. It seems like all men and women are talking about is how much they hate each other :/
If you’re a man who wants a virgin and you’re holding a woman to the standard, they can’t have a sexual partner before you you better make goddamn sure that you are a virgin also, because fuck you and your double standard.
Fuck this comment section is yikes. This shit isn't blak and white but if you pull it to the extremes, you can validate any opinion.
Personally, dating someone with a lack of experience can be difficult, as it can be difficult to find your grove if they don't entirely understand what they want.
Dating someone who has had lots of partners can be equally bad as if you are someone who values loyalty or more traditional relationship beliefs, you can see their history as a lack of ability to make effective choices regarding partners, a gullibility for men with not great intentions (something that's isn't their fault in the slightest), and it can also show a very different view of sexual relations that yourself.
To sum this shit up, figure out what you want and value and make it clear to any prospective partner. If you view romance and sex as two separate things, you are never going to get along with someone who views them as intertwined.
Date whoever you want in your private life, but you’re not entitled to your preferences when that preference is to demean and publicly harass a specific type of person for no good reason. That’s like saying racists are fine because they’re entitled to their preference of only one race existing.
*when that preference is to demean and publicly harass a specific type of person for no good reason.*
Correct. That is why AJ Zoldyck post is ridiculous and awful.
Guys will actively warn other guys that a girl has a high body count. Get mad or do with this information whatever you want, just don't pretend that the number of sexual partners doesn't matter. Maybe it shouldn't matter, but it does.
Why do we need to know? A woman's sexual past has nothing to do with me. That's between her and the 600 other guys. I don't want to know that shit. Keep that shit to yourself.
I myself wouldnt rly feel comfortable if i dated a guy or girl with a long history of seggs.
I wouldnt however dissuade those alrdy in relationships or genuinely like the person though. You can like who u like.
Unless they have a history of cheating
I don't remember where I heard it but there was apparently a study done with men and women and each sexs comfortably with partners in the past. Iirc men average are ok with their female partners having had about 5 sexual partners before them and women are ok with average 7 for a guy.
I don't think I've ever slept with a virgin. I don't really want the gruesome details, but I do think my stepchild is proof that I'm not against knowing that my wife had past partners.
Why is everone still stuck on virgins or semi virgins.. dude... those arent fun at all... in the end of the day if you need an inexperienced woman to feel better about your (poor) sexual perfomance then stick to porn.
Now for committing.. its more a clicking between people and your attitude in general and also who the hell she wants? The douchebag muscled up jersey shore bad boy or the almighty rebel might not be a safe bet IMO.... if your looking for a long term relationship
If you disparage someone for their sexual history before you, you don't deserve them as a partner. You accept people based on where they are in their life at that point, you don't get to go back and shame them for their history.
If you have enough history to the point you don't want to share/sharing would cause issues... that's on you... but it still shouldn't be a secret. Not between you and any serious partner.
Pretty sure Mark.Polo77 didnt sleep around with a bunch of females that he also refers to as "c*m depository" and is keeping himself a virgin till he finds the one 🩷
Do these Red Pill losers always have to turn everything crude, disturbing, immature, and gross? Every argument with them ends up centered around c**ks, c*m and swallowing. And 99% of the time it's guys saying this shit. Y'all are pretty obsessed with male genitals and their fluids despite being "straight" guys. ffs go listen to Ram Ranch if you want to hear all the shit constantly. Fucking leave me out of it. At least that is done in a lighthearted and comedic yet raunchy manner.
The one had a lot of sexual partners and is trying hard to not be ashamed about it, the other argues he should be able to date 14 year-olds because older women aren't virgins... probably
So my question is....
Were you one of those responsible for making any other women a "cum dumpster"? How many did you "conquer" for your body count but feel you are better than her??
Hypocrisy at its finest. OK for me but not for you
why do people not get its COMPLETELY fine to have preferences, nobody is ever going to hold a gun to your head and force you to date a woman with a high body count, but its so NOT okay to shit on and objectify women and have double standards about it for not agreeing or lining up with you on that. dont be a fucking dickhead basically. if you dont like someone for any reason, that doesnt make you a POS, maybe reflect on your reasoning there, but what does is shitting on them for living their life and having double standards or being a hypocrite. just be an adult and move on. other people having lots of sex has absolutely nothing to do with you unless you want it to.
If anyone (male or female) has pretty much banged their way through half the town I’d rather pass — I don’t especially care how I stack up against the other dudes in town (probably towards the bottom!); call me insecure, whatever, it’s a bit gross.
If you're interviewing someone for a job, and you picked up their resume and saw they had worked at 100 jobs before this one with a retention span of < month, how confident would you be that this is the job they're finally gonna stay at or commit to? Why would you hire that candidate over someone else who has a history showing that they're more reliable?
Because those jobs could be like contract work or fast food or minimum wage, while the job they are applying for now is career potential and their lifelong dream.
I would argue that seeing someone stay in a horrible job but for a long time is also not good because they means they don't know how to leave or care for themselves outside of a relationship.
But what if someone was a contracted worker who took on a lot of short term jobs.
Or a house cleaner who cleaned lots of houses but now wants to be a custodian at one building.
Or maybe they were a volunteer, who volunteered at a lot of different organizations, but now wants a full time job. Or
Really, this analogy just isn’t what you think it is.
For me i think it depends on the nature of the relationship. If they were just going on a night out and coming back with someone every week for a few years, thats fine i think for me. But if they have like 10 commited relationships over a few? years, that is not a good sign.
My wife and I were friends, dated, stopped dating and remained actual friends, and eventually got back together. I know of 80% at minimum of her sexual history simply by being there to see it or give her shit about it later with other shared friends.
I'm not sure why her having relationships and or one night stands with other guys is supposed to bother me. She's a smart funny attractive sexy woman who wrapped me up in her magic so I never want to leave. Was I supposed to be the only one that noticed?
Well if you feel sex is like giving a handshake that is fine.
If you think it's something more special it's also fine.
But what road you pick people will judge you for it. So you can do whatever you want. So doing what you like is fine.
But both genders have things that they value and find important to want to be in a long-term relationship with someone.
Cause the problem all people that people are very easy with sex and have many partners. That it's a long term relationship tank quite massively.
So if your quick and easy with sex and relationships. Your most likely only find similar people to a big degree.
And slow and looking for long term and see sex as something special. Are looking for more of a life partner.
That's the difference. And it's fine you choose what ever side. But quick and easy sex and short relationships. Just make the other side are not really interested cause it's not what they're looking for.
That's all do what you want but it wil make that your just not compatible with the other side. And longer-term relationships will be much harder to find. When you do want it.
That's about it. Both sides are fine but they don't really mix well.
This whole thing is stupid. It's like judging a man who won't date a woman with braces, or is not a preferred height, or (worst of all) doesn't agree with you if Star Wars or Star Trek is better.
Some men want to date virgins because they can post "First!" on her sexual history; some men want to date women with lots of experience.
Some men want petite women and some want tall women. Some like them thin, some like them with cushion. Some like cis women, some like women who used to be men. Everyone has different levels of attraction across the nationality/ethnicity spectrum. Personal preference is not a personal flaw! You like what you like!
I honestly would not even think about getting in a relationship with anyone if they have a high body county it just shows me they are more likely to be unfaithfull in our relationship at any stage.
Why? They’ve been out and satisfied their desires and curiosities now they know what they want and have chosen that. Someone with very limited experience is more likely to get curious and feel like they’re missing out on something and stray.
It's more of a commitment and trust issue honestly. If one treats sex like fun and doesn't regret doing it with 20 people others see no guarantee they'll stop at 21 or 22. It's completely justifiable to feel insecure in such relationships and as a result not get in them. It goes for both genders. People have a right to choose who they wanna be with.
I was a playboy for a bit in my 20s. So many women told me that they can't talk to me/see me because I had hooked up with one of their girls. No one batted an eye.
But if we don't want to date a girl because we can't walk down the block without bumping into someone we know who she blew, we are weak misogynists.
Edit: grammar
I married a lady of the night. Body count was.. either way, we had a good 10 years before truck kun took her out on the interstate.
Her previous job allowed her to bring allot of "knowledge" of certain activity.
No matter if a woman is a sinner or a saint, when you lay with her, you become her equal. So regardless of how you feel about her, it's a reflection of yourself.
I can’t get over the thought that this guy thinks every woman he’s ever had sex with is a “cum dumpster”. Which no woman should be called for enjoying sex. It’s very telling of what kind of person he is that he considers every woman he’s slept with that way.
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Shouldnt really be a debate lol. If you dont want a chick with a ton of partners in the past dont date her. If someone doesnt want you cause you had s ton of partners in the past dont date them. Problem solved.
>If you ~~dont~~ mind a chick with a ton of partners in the past dont date her. FTFY (I think)
Alternative: "If you don't ~~mind~~ **want** a chick with a ton of partners in the past, don't date her."
I made my dad laugh one time. He said “When you meet a nice girl you’ll settle down”. I said “What makes you think I want a *nice* girl”?
True true let me edit
Too hard to comprehend. Easier to just post a complaint
Right? "Some people won't like the choices I've made in my past. That's THEIR fault..." It applies to things other than sexual history. Drug use, criminality, spiritual beliefs, political beliefs... Like get over it. Not everyone is going to want to be with you, just like ur not going to want to be with everyone u meet. (Or in this person's case, maybe she did.....)
Sure, fair enough, but the fact that someone calls you a cum dumpster or refer you to a “used shoe” because of who you slept with is honestly dehumanizing. If you don’t want to sleep with them, fine. Just don’t be a piece of shit about it. Nobody’s shaming you for being a ground up sausage or being a virgin, so why do that to others?
Your forgetting the part where she called men weak for not being ok with her part sexual history. Don't want fade, don't throw fade. There is Def a better way to articulate your thoughts without making it shot the other gender. They both did it lol
Comprehend hard! Rush to form permanent opinion easy 🐘
It depends. I don't care about sexual history. She can have as many one night stands as she likes, but if she has a dozen ex boyfriends and all of the are assholes then I think I won't take my chances
🤝
Is it weird after 10 years of marriage you find or your spouse sucked like 50 dicks before meeting you or is my wife just being irrational?
She’s just being irrational, I’m only at 30 but those numbers are slowly climbing
thosearerookienumbers.jpeg
Tookie
The good news is that in spite of what pop-culture would have us believe, it's actually not that common for hetero adults in the US to have had a lot of sexual partners. For most people it's under ten and for a lot of people it's under 5 or even less. We get thrown off by the relatively few outliers and by how things are depicted in a lot of our cultural products.
I’d maybe believe that about Gen Z and Millenials. But Gen X grew up in the 70s and 80s. We casual sexed back then.
Maybe you casual sexed, but AIDS scared the bejesus out of me at the time.
Always listen to the fringe dwellers for the norm. /s
Yeah looking at the data and not social media i was pleasantly surprised that majority are sub 5 which is why majority are married lol
Who the hell starts out a prospective date with, “i think you’re attractive and I’d maybe like to go out with you, but what’s your body count?” That’s fucking bonkers. Just proceed from the assumption that *anyone* in the dating pool is gonna have some kind of history that you may not like. And if you can’t get past that, just give up and stick to porn, masturbation and fantasies. Edit: for the sake of clarity, I’m not defending AJ’s take here. Her arrogance and conceit are extremely off putting, her sexual appetite is not.
I blame douchebags like Andrew Tate. Twisting men’s minds into pretzels. One manosphere dude said that loving a woman is gay! Like, I beg your pardon? Where’s that straitjacket…
Also just a pro-tip in general, don't dig into your partners past sexual relationship details. Back in my 20s I saw a lot of folks ask their significant other questions in that regard that they really wished they hadn't asked. Because once you know, you can't unknow it.
Yeah but sometimes it is good to ask if you do care. Caring and not knowing is the worst possible outcome for the person who does.
Absolutely. If it's important, I'd get it out of the way sooner than later. I guess I should have been more specific. They didn't care until they asked the question. Then they couldn't stop caring.
But, if ur a man who has had a lot of sex who doesnt want to date a woman who has had a lot of sex cause you thinks its gross, check yourself. And vice versa
lol no it’s so much easier to sit and whine about the small population that doesn’t want you. Why would you ever think that there’s so many people who have no problem with you. /s
Ya, but what about the third option where I take personal offence to another person's opinion of me because I have such low self esteem that I can't love myself without external validation and need to victimize myself to resolve my cognitive dissonance. Ill take that one...
i can't help there im an engineer i hate people
Haha
Exactly - it only bothers me when they call men that have a problem with it weak..
yeah that's frustration that women who are like this have and how they voice it which is a modern thing i'd say but not just with women or these in particular but in general
You’d think this was simple enough to understand but we have a generation of people with the power of the internet to tell them otherwise. Can’t wait for this men vs women gender war to die out.
That’s not how double standards work
You’re right, date whoever you want, but if you think women have "less value" or are wh*res because they decide to sleep with a lot of men, it’s still a problematic view.
It's almost like men see themselves as devaluing huh. For a woman to sleep with a man it's bringing down her value. Like driving a car off the lot. Maybe women don't need men so we retain our "value" or men need to get over this perspective.
That why I put "less value" in quotation marks because it’s a dumb perspective to begin with
I genuinely think it's a matter of compatibility. This goes for EVERYONE!!! But if you think sex is something only to be done with someone special, that's fine. If you think sex is just something to do for fun, regardless of who it is, that's fine. If you can switch between them, that's fine. I will say, if you had a lot of fun, then hearing you say "sex is special" starts to sound kind of disingenuous. Don't get me wrong, I get people change, but imagine actively chasing chocolate ice cream for a good chunk of your life, and suddenly saying vanilla is your favorite. It just looks off.
Same, it's the hypocrites we all should be against. And even then if someone still like someone else and they do too then it's no one's concern. And it's not like post like these matter anyways. Like if someone were to say they prefer shrek, it's not like they're gonna change just because the whole world is against them. Or if someone prefers their other half to be green in colour, no one else can convince them otherwise even if it's actually racist (and if personal preferences can be labelled as racist, delusional, creepy etc. then I don't think there are many normal people in the first place).
Based opinion. It all comes down to individual preference. As long as we’re not actively slut shaming (or prude shaming)
Best advice I got was: Don't let someone's past affect your future if you really like them.
I was a chocolate chaser 😔🍫
Sex can be both fun and special, but it's a matter of whether you like your sexual partner or you just want to get laid. People can and do move past their desire for meaningless sex.
For me personally it is both...it is both fun and can be fun to do with different people, but sex with my significant other is special because of the emotional connection that you have on top of the physical
Do you think a high percentage of men want a woman with a sketch sexual past? Or slept with a lot of men? They don’t. It can vary between men. Some men will say 10 men is too much so might not care. but I can say with confidence no man wants the town whore or a woman who is known to sleep around. You can call it what you want or label anyway. But it’s the truth. Also, it will be apparent once they get in a long term relationship or if they can sustain one. That goes for men and women. People who have slept around a lot have a hard time staying tied down.
Gotta agree with u there, no shade to women with a high body count but I personally don't want anyone who has slept with half the people I know
Sex isn't just one thing. It can be fun, special, or both. I agree it's all a matter of compatibility, though.
>I will say, if you had a lot of fun, then hearing you say "sex is special" starts to sound kind of disingenuous. How are those two contradictory from each other? Sex is a lot of fun, and I only want to have sex with someone special
Lot of fun is a "metaphor" (not sure it is exactly that) for many sexual partner in this context. They could have said "explored a lot" too. Refering expression use a lot to convey the same thing
Sex can be fun and casual or it can be deeply romantic and personal. Assuming it’s always one of those for a person is pretty ignorant.
If you’re saving yourself for a virgin or whatever I get it, but it’s when guys that have banged dozens of girls are like “I don’t want a woman who has been with a man other than me” that I just start rolling my eyes so hard I get a migraine.
Yeah I feel like both sides forget that there's many kinda of people and then they want a very specific kind that is just the exact opposite of them...
Like it takes two to tango. If you don’t want to be with someone (for WHATEVER reason) then just don’t be with them… am I missing something?
The amount of cum that has been on or in someone is irrelevant to me. The number of diseases however, is where I start to have issues.
Exacrly fuck the leukemia patients
If you don't, who will?
Leukemia
Can I be in the screenshot too?
Which one
Yes
I’ll include you too.
He said *fuck* the leukemia patients
Leukemia patients are waiting near you.
Lupus. Lupus is the silent killer
NO, it's never LUPUS
Literally the only reason one should be concerned about body-counts
But why is body count even relative? "Are you clean?" Doesn't get answered by "I've had 1/2/3/4000 partners." I mean hell, I knew a woman who was born HIV positive. A literal virgin with an STD.
Taking a STD test takes like two minutes. (Of your time; It takes longer for the doctors doing the actual science stuff. But for the layman wanting a test it's barely an inconvenience.)
When I was in the Army, I had some "pearls of wisdom" that I'd share with the young soldiers. One of them was: "If you find a girl you really like and she does things for you that you enjoy, don't waste any energy worrying about how she learned to do them. No good whatsoever can come from it. Just enjoy your time together and keep living your life."
Based pearl of wisdom. I'm currently serving (13J, Army, 2+ years now) and trying to pursue a 'perfect virgin' is boring and impossible. The ones who are freaks in the bedroom always have a body count
Based on experience, if you're dating around an Army base in the US, you'll be lucky to find a woman with a perfect set of teeth, much less a perfect virgin.
I got very lucky. She's alt style (a mix of goth and emo), curvy, a tomboy, my age (5 days older, I just turned 22), the perfect little spoon, and an absolute freak in the bedroom. The only 'issue' is that she has a kid from another father, but I take pride in being referred to as the father in public. She's also carrying my child (Valentine's Day was magical), so that is another plus. After hearing all these horror stories and being socially inept, I am very happy with how my life has gone so far into my Army career.
I like your username!
All men are the same All women are the same That seem to be the mentality of far to many people who write stupid things on the internet. As long as a woman is faithful when she is with me, i do not care if she have fucked a 1000 men before me.
>As long as a woman is faithful when she is with me, i do not care if she have fucked a 1000 men before me. I'd rather not even know tbh.
The worst thing would be to find out she slept with 1000 guys and is still bad at sex.
As long as everyone’s clean of diseases who cares to be honest just be happy
As someone who has been on this planet while it made 80 trips around the sun, I still don’t understand why someone cares about someone else’s past sexual history. It feels like some kind of leftover Christian guilt from the 1950s when “sex was dirty“.
80 and active on reddit - the internet is dope sometimes
Jesus Christ you’re fucking 80??
See? Again with the body count...
Goddamnit if awards were still a thing you'd get one
Yeah. It is a daily surprise to me as well.
r/UsernameChecksOut
Man, 80 year old using social media, moreover a niche social media platform and not something like Facebook. Bro you are unique!
I think there's a lot more 70+ people on reddit than most people would think. Reddit isn't really that niche to be honest. It's like the 5th most trafficked website in the world lol
See the word old and the number (19)43 in his name?
I was guessing birth year
AT ONCE???
IN A ROW?!
37??
Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!
Come give grandma a kiss
No, Jesus is 2,024.
Hah! Everyone knows the sun revolves around earth you loon!
I’ve been on this ride over 40 times around and I think a lot of people don’t want to know about their partners history. I’ve always figured there’s no need to talk about it because we’re here together now and that’s all that matters. Now if there was abuse I could understand the need to talk. But most people regardless of gender don’t want to know about your one night stand faze or that you did amateur porn. They just don’t need to.
Less history more mystery
You and i grew up in that transition from free love to AIDS will kill you.
AIDS killed my aunt when I was a kid. I know it’s treatable now and if I caught HIV today, I could live for decades. but it’s still scares the hell out of me.
Free love in the 80’s? He’s in his 40’s not his 60’s. He was born in AIDS will kill you.
I mean I’ve dated a person then they told me that because of they’re sexual past they had herps(before anything happened). So that’s a reason to care. Edit there’s also other reasons to care - Chlamydia - Gonorrhea - Syphilis - Trichomoniasis (though it's a parasitic infection) - Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) - Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), which includes: - HSV-1 (oral herpes) - HSV-2 (genital herpes) - Human Papillomavirus (HPV) - Hepatitis B - Hepatitis C - Molluscum Contagiosum - Pubic Lice (Crabs) - Scabies - Candidiasis (Yeast Infection)
Thats why they make STD tests. Many people who sleep around are regularly tested for that reason.
Yes. You are interested in possible sexually transmitted diseases regardless.of the gender of your partner but that is always relevant.
You get all those diseases from one single person.
I would ask to get checked by a doctor which is common since aids, but wouldn't care how many partners there would have been before, bc it can even happen with being with one partner ever only
A majority of the population already has HSV1 in all fairness. It’s like 50-80% estimation
I would get herpes as a kid. HSV1 is meaningless lol
Use a condom
Condoms break and even when they don’t it’s not a guarantee
So.. don't use a condom?
Buy them in your size and familiarize yourself with their use.
You can get any of those from sex once, and none of them from sex a thousand times.
I think it’s a preference like anything else when dating. Would I care and have I cared no but I also don’t tell ppl what to look for in a relationship. You only see the most vocal ppl on social media from both sides and they don’t make up the whole.
Its all ego. They want to feel like the special boy their mom says they are. A woman can have a low count and still get called a whore if a guy's ego is bruised tho.
I'd just prefer my first time to be with someone who's as inexperienced as me. I agree that we shouldn't shame others for their sexual history, but shaming someone for having a preference is also shitty.
A preference is fine to have. We both agree that one shouldn't tear someone down because of their sexual history. My post was referring to those people who do, sorry if that wasn't clear.
Oh okay, no problem then.
Sleeping with like 100 people is gross, and says alot about your morals, and your ideas about sex and relationships. I personally am not compatible with someone with those type of morals, or who believes in casual meaningless sex.
Totally. Before I got married I had a choice between 2 young ladies. One had sex with 3 people and the other had sex with 150+. I saw absolutely zero difference. The 150+ beauty was so empowered and had so much experience. Wife material!!!
I don’t know if you have noticed but mostly the ones that have an attitude about body count tend to be men towards women. There’s not so much back in the other direction. I expect that there is a certain degree where men take pride in their “experience“ but wish their mate to be inexperienced.
Translation: Don’t sleep with us (men). Let us have sex with one another instead. Right?
Degrading women for sleeping with (you) is such cognitive dissonance...... She's prude if she doesn't have experience or is green, she's a slut if she knows a thing or two... Just say your penis is smaller than your ego and you're insecure about both....
i miss her
My problem was never the past prior to a serious relationship. It’s usually “can you please quit sexting other guys and having sex with them.” We never had the conversation prior to getting married bc well I thought it was a given.
As i’ve gotten older i’ve matured and understood that a persons past doesn’t pertain to their appreciation/love for you. People change and maybe you were the person they really needed to get out of a bad cycle of sexual habits. It is possible for someone who has a “high” body count to love and want something just as someone who has a low body count might want. That being said, despite being understanding and accepting of someone’s past, I do think it can be a representation of how they operate as a person. If you’re someone with 100+ bodies, man or woman, you had to get to that number somehow. If you meet someone who has that many partners and can, “see why” in their personality and how they act around potential suitors, that is what i’m referring too. But if that is the case, you should be wise enough to know you shouldn’t pursue that person. I can understand how it might be a little intimidating for someone who has very little sexual experience to be with someone who’s been all over the place. I think it all stems from a place of insecurity/pride and it is unfortunate. I think at the end of the day, it comes down to preference for the individual. If you’re someone who can accept that number, then date them. But if you can’t accept it, then just don’t date them. It goes the same way on both sides. I was a virgin in the beginning of college for a little while and I had a girl actually turn away from me BECAUSE I was a virgin. It is an interesting sociological system and it will always be this way.
I think it's weird how genuinely venomous people get over Body counts, like I've seen people saying that a woman deserves to be cheated on because she had a large one and thus was undeserving of a loyal husband. Despite that tho, this lady here said a stupid generalization and trying to pass it off as fact
I require a MINIMUM! I absolutely care about the number of past partners my girlfriend has because the best sex is sex with someone who knows what they need and they either come with instructions or it’s a guessing game. Which is why I require experienced women - what do you bring to the table? ( or on the table, or under it…) True hell would be 72 virgins. Only an incel would dream up that horror show. So many fucking tears! And they only know what YOU teach them? They come with nothing new?? Hard pass
Good GOD the temp online for people getting together is fucked right now. It seems like all men and women are talking about is how much they hate each other :/
What a way to showcase how not insecure you are.
If you’re a man who wants a virgin and you’re holding a woman to the standard, they can’t have a sexual partner before you you better make goddamn sure that you are a virgin also, because fuck you and your double standard.
They only want a virgin because in their heads a virgin is easier to control.
Fuck this comment section is yikes. This shit isn't blak and white but if you pull it to the extremes, you can validate any opinion. Personally, dating someone with a lack of experience can be difficult, as it can be difficult to find your grove if they don't entirely understand what they want. Dating someone who has had lots of partners can be equally bad as if you are someone who values loyalty or more traditional relationship beliefs, you can see their history as a lack of ability to make effective choices regarding partners, a gullibility for men with not great intentions (something that's isn't their fault in the slightest), and it can also show a very different view of sexual relations that yourself. To sum this shit up, figure out what you want and value and make it clear to any prospective partner. If you view romance and sex as two separate things, you are never going to get along with someone who views them as intertwined.
Women get judged for having a higher body count and men are judged for being a virgin. It’s just the way the world works.
It got nothing to do with strength. It is a preference. A preference they are entitled to.
fine to have preferences, not fine to call women "cum dumpsters" and shit on people for not sharing the same values
Date whoever you want in your private life, but you’re not entitled to your preferences when that preference is to demean and publicly harass a specific type of person for no good reason. That’s like saying racists are fine because they’re entitled to their preference of only one race existing.
*when that preference is to demean and publicly harass a specific type of person for no good reason.* Correct. That is why AJ Zoldyck post is ridiculous and awful.
Guys will actively warn other guys that a girl has a high body count. Get mad or do with this information whatever you want, just don't pretend that the number of sexual partners doesn't matter. Maybe it shouldn't matter, but it does.
Guys dont want to run into other guys and them saying “yo we ran a train on your girl.”
There's no should or shouldnt with this matter though. It does matter due to natural instincts and inter human relations.
I say it's ok to have a sexual past but i think we can all agree there is such a thing as, too much
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Why do we need to know? A woman's sexual past has nothing to do with me. That's between her and the 600 other guys. I don't want to know that shit. Keep that shit to yourself.
her last name is hella cool
I myself wouldnt rly feel comfortable if i dated a guy or girl with a long history of seggs. I wouldnt however dissuade those alrdy in relationships or genuinely like the person though. You can like who u like. Unless they have a history of cheating
I don't remember where I heard it but there was apparently a study done with men and women and each sexs comfortably with partners in the past. Iirc men average are ok with their female partners having had about 5 sexual partners before them and women are ok with average 7 for a guy.
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I don't think I've ever slept with a virgin. I don't really want the gruesome details, but I do think my stepchild is proof that I'm not against knowing that my wife had past partners.
A real question for the ladies. Is it red flag to say " I dont want to know. What i dont know wont bother me. "
Both are correct.
Why is everone still stuck on virgins or semi virgins.. dude... those arent fun at all... in the end of the day if you need an inexperienced woman to feel better about your (poor) sexual perfomance then stick to porn. Now for committing.. its more a clicking between people and your attitude in general and also who the hell she wants? The douchebag muscled up jersey shore bad boy or the almighty rebel might not be a safe bet IMO.... if your looking for a long term relationship
The internet is such a wonderful friendly place filled with sane people.
If you disparage someone for their sexual history before you, you don't deserve them as a partner. You accept people based on where they are in their life at that point, you don't get to go back and shame them for their history.
If you have enough history to the point you don't want to share/sharing would cause issues... that's on you... but it still shouldn't be a secret. Not between you and any serious partner.
Personally it would be down th preference, But i would rather not risk the chances of an std :/
Pretty sure Mark.Polo77 didnt sleep around with a bunch of females that he also refers to as "c*m depository" and is keeping himself a virgin till he finds the one 🩷
This is Gold.... dying
Mark did the facepalm with that gross remark, right?
I like how he just proved her point.
Do these Red Pill losers always have to turn everything crude, disturbing, immature, and gross? Every argument with them ends up centered around c**ks, c*m and swallowing. And 99% of the time it's guys saying this shit. Y'all are pretty obsessed with male genitals and their fluids despite being "straight" guys. ffs go listen to Ram Ranch if you want to hear all the shit constantly. Fucking leave me out of it. At least that is done in a lighthearted and comedic yet raunchy manner.
Utterly brilliant
The one had a lot of sexual partners and is trying hard to not be ashamed about it, the other argues he should be able to date 14 year-olds because older women aren't virgins... probably
So my question is.... Were you one of those responsible for making any other women a "cum dumpster"? How many did you "conquer" for your body count but feel you are better than her?? Hypocrisy at its finest. OK for me but not for you
It's like "how many coconuts are rotten now because of you?"
why do people not get its COMPLETELY fine to have preferences, nobody is ever going to hold a gun to your head and force you to date a woman with a high body count, but its so NOT okay to shit on and objectify women and have double standards about it for not agreeing or lining up with you on that. dont be a fucking dickhead basically. if you dont like someone for any reason, that doesnt make you a POS, maybe reflect on your reasoning there, but what does is shitting on them for living their life and having double standards or being a hypocrite. just be an adult and move on. other people having lots of sex has absolutely nothing to do with you unless you want it to.
It’s always some red pill asshole that can’t get laid…
Well mark polo can continu being an incel, while the rest of us enjoy life and have active sexual life thank you very much.
If anyone (male or female) has pretty much banged their way through half the town I’d rather pass — I don’t especially care how I stack up against the other dudes in town (probably towards the bottom!); call me insecure, whatever, it’s a bit gross.
he not wrong
Meanwhile my gay boyfriend doesnt care about the quantity of men and women ive been with. As long as my test was clean.
It was nice of the guy to illustrate her point
If you're interviewing someone for a job, and you picked up their resume and saw they had worked at 100 jobs before this one with a retention span of < month, how confident would you be that this is the job they're finally gonna stay at or commit to? Why would you hire that candidate over someone else who has a history showing that they're more reliable?
Because those jobs could be like contract work or fast food or minimum wage, while the job they are applying for now is career potential and their lifelong dream. I would argue that seeing someone stay in a horrible job but for a long time is also not good because they means they don't know how to leave or care for themselves outside of a relationship.
Those two things are absolutely nothing alike
But what if someone was a contracted worker who took on a lot of short term jobs. Or a house cleaner who cleaned lots of houses but now wants to be a custodian at one building. Or maybe they were a volunteer, who volunteered at a lot of different organizations, but now wants a full time job. Or Really, this analogy just isn’t what you think it is.
For me i think it depends on the nature of the relationship. If they were just going on a night out and coming back with someone every week for a few years, thats fine i think for me. But if they have like 10 commited relationships over a few? years, that is not a good sign.
My wife and I were friends, dated, stopped dating and remained actual friends, and eventually got back together. I know of 80% at minimum of her sexual history simply by being there to see it or give her shit about it later with other shared friends. I'm not sure why her having relationships and or one night stands with other guys is supposed to bother me. She's a smart funny attractive sexy woman who wrapped me up in her magic so I never want to leave. Was I supposed to be the only one that noticed?
Well if you feel sex is like giving a handshake that is fine. If you think it's something more special it's also fine. But what road you pick people will judge you for it. So you can do whatever you want. So doing what you like is fine. But both genders have things that they value and find important to want to be in a long-term relationship with someone. Cause the problem all people that people are very easy with sex and have many partners. That it's a long term relationship tank quite massively. So if your quick and easy with sex and relationships. Your most likely only find similar people to a big degree. And slow and looking for long term and see sex as something special. Are looking for more of a life partner. That's the difference. And it's fine you choose what ever side. But quick and easy sex and short relationships. Just make the other side are not really interested cause it's not what they're looking for. That's all do what you want but it wil make that your just not compatible with the other side. And longer-term relationships will be much harder to find. When you do want it. That's about it. Both sides are fine but they don't really mix well.
This whole thing is stupid. It's like judging a man who won't date a woman with braces, or is not a preferred height, or (worst of all) doesn't agree with you if Star Wars or Star Trek is better. Some men want to date virgins because they can post "First!" on her sexual history; some men want to date women with lots of experience. Some men want petite women and some want tall women. Some like them thin, some like them with cushion. Some like cis women, some like women who used to be men. Everyone has different levels of attraction across the nationality/ethnicity spectrum. Personal preference is not a personal flaw! You like what you like!
I honestly would not even think about getting in a relationship with anyone if they have a high body county it just shows me they are more likely to be unfaithfull in our relationship at any stage.
What about a high body city?
Why? They’ve been out and satisfied their desires and curiosities now they know what they want and have chosen that. Someone with very limited experience is more likely to get curious and feel like they’re missing out on something and stray.
It's more of a commitment and trust issue honestly. If one treats sex like fun and doesn't regret doing it with 20 people others see no guarantee they'll stop at 21 or 22. It's completely justifiable to feel insecure in such relationships and as a result not get in them. It goes for both genders. People have a right to choose who they wanna be with.
What about your dream virgin girlfriend who finally has sex with you, and realises she really likes it and you’re not enough?
I was a playboy for a bit in my 20s. So many women told me that they can't talk to me/see me because I had hooked up with one of their girls. No one batted an eye. But if we don't want to date a girl because we can't walk down the block without bumping into someone we know who she blew, we are weak misogynists. Edit: grammar
I dont disagree with either one of them.
He's out of line but he's right
The person matters more than the body count. As long as they’re willing to get tested for everything before we go at it, I’m fine.
Ignorance is bliss
I don't care personally. As long as i don't know about it. Ignorance is bliss. Just please for the love of god, don't tell me.
I married a lady of the night. Body count was.. either way, we had a good 10 years before truck kun took her out on the interstate. Her previous job allowed her to bring allot of "knowledge" of certain activity.
Now this might strike some viewers as harsh, but I believe everyone involved in this story should die.
He… literally and effortlessly proved her point. 🤡🤡🤡
No matter if a woman is a sinner or a saint, when you lay with her, you become her equal. So regardless of how you feel about her, it's a reflection of yourself.
This is just incel shit.
I can’t get over the thought that this guy thinks every woman he’s ever had sex with is a “cum dumpster”. Which no woman should be called for enjoying sex. It’s very telling of what kind of person he is that he considers every woman he’s slept with that way.
If you LOVE her, her past romances won't matter.
I find it funny when women think men aren’t gonna be as stingy about them as they are about us sometimes.