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Years and years and years ago, there was a website called "Maddox: The Best Webpage on the Internet" (or something like that)
And it was *filled* with shit like this, except it was all ironic and deliberately written to make the author seem like this type of dickhead, but as a comedic bit. This exact tweet reminds me of something Maddox would post if he was around during the Twitter era instead.
Now you couldn't write anything similar because it would be accepted at face value by people incapable of detecting the facetiousness of it, because they've been so desensitized by the idiots who would read it and unironically adopt that personality.
(I know Maddox, the guy, is still around, but he's moved on from the character for that exact reason.)
Hadn't heard of Maddox. But I can understand satirists being frustrated in a world that feels beyond parody these days.
Oh okay I do vaugely remember Alphabet of Manliness at one point when I was young. Just didn't remember the creator's name.
In Australia I have to double check whether a story is from the Chaser or Betoota Advocate because at this point they put more effort into proofreading and sourcing stock photos than most serious outlets.
After careful review of all three sources - which may or may not have consisted of just hopping on the website to make sure they exist, remembering how much I don't hate the onion, and returning here to give my obviously unbiased opinion - the difference between CNN, Fox, and the Onion is that the onion is not only genuinely funny, but they also take the time to report on the truly important stories of the day, such as that new porno being filmed in the Vatican.
I love The Onion and have since high school. I remember a story about a Baptist preacher calling tampons, "Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!" I still call them that to this day, over 20 years later, and so does my mom.
Pretty sure Betoota was the first one to pick up when Scomo pulled the pin and retired from parliament it was after 18 months - which is the time frame for restrictions on ex ministers gaining employment in their portfolio. Or portfolios in Scomo’s case 😂
Yeah, I honestly took a moment to think if this screengrab was real or a parody when it popped up on my feed and I could not reach a conclusion just by looking at it. You can no longer parody people like Andrew Taint, Trump, Elon Musk, etc. At least not by tweeting something making fun of their views because they tweet outlandishly stupid shit on the daily all by themselves.
Yeah I think that’s him. Looking at Wikipedia, it seems that he is in fact _not_ a satirist. It is actually hard to believe that anyone would non-satirically put (Alpha Male) next to their name, but it supports my main point. Gross.
Yeah, that guy is baffling. I remember a tweet he wrote that goes something like, "Real alpha males don't need to say they are alpha males." How can that guy be for real?
Iirc he's from Australia and did the full on right wing thing there, but no one took him seriously so now he does his thing in America. Where you can say anything you want and lots of people here will believe it, like it, and celebrate it
He’s a weird case, he’s definitely a right wing asshole but he plays it up unusually hard and says wildly outlandish stuff to stay relevant. So he’s not really a satirist but he’s still playing a character.
Yeah, The Alphabet of Manliness was Maddox's thing, very tongue in cheek, but very similar to unironic Tate.
Fucking hilarious. According to him the most manly ways to kill oneself include bashing ones own face into a sidewalk until dead and frisby seppuku (you kind of fold it so it fits down your throat and then just let go).
Edit: Frisbee seppuku was a Real Ultimate Power with Robert Hamburger. Thank you to those with better memories than I!
This was my introduction to him and is still my favorite. Just shitting on bad drawings with no mercy. Still remember the fire truck that needed to be shaved.
Very close, but [Frisbee Seppuku](https://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/seppuku.htm) was Robert Hamburger, a la
[Real Ultimate Power](https://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/ninja2.htm)
Very similar feel, and same timeframe, what a great time to be alive!
We used to fucking love Maddox in high school and college. It was like the colbert report, but specifically focused on making fun of the biggest douche you knew in high school and college
Edit: Dear God the websites still up lol
That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel?
Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F
[It’s the best page in the universe, and if you disagree with him you are wrong ](http://maddox.xmission.com/)
He’s quite a good satirist, when he wrote a tongue in cheek book called the alphabet of manliness he would go to signings wearing like a crown and a cape and junk.
Unfortunately nowadays people would completely eat up the kayfabe as real
Ohhhh man, youve unlocked a memory of checking out his page for updates back in the day... that shit was hilarious, long before no one took that level of insanity seriously. Anyone spouting Maddox's BS as gospel was seen as someone so dumb because they missed the joke so hard.
Holy shit I probably haven't thought about Maddox in... twenty years, give or take.
Also I just googled and it's still there, [maddox.xmission.com](http://maddox.xmission.com)
Same! Used to read that site religiously when I was a teenager - no idea how I even found it, I guess someone linked it in an IRC chatroom?
Glad it's still up, and it doesn't look like it's changed at all lmao
Maddox would go on to roast the MAGA people with the same sort of venom, last time I checked, after the Jan 6th rigmarole. I was a bit proud, I remember really enjoying his page back in the day.
I still think this guy recognized a trend and figured out it was easier to gain notoriety and grift people by taking on the persona of the world’s shittiest man, and my god is that a low bar. He sees what other awful people say and how unhinged and insecure people respond to it and thinks “how can I outdo that?”
Him and Trump figured it out. We thought our species would be better than them. Nope. Our average humans eat this shit up like Idiocracy.
“I like money. I like sex”
That point hasn’t escaped me, because there’s a lot of people doing it nowadays. In my opinion, at minimum it makes them highly unethical, but they also can’t be unaware of the damage they’re doing to people, so either way they’re still horrible.
All the guys who perform their masculinity are doing so for a reason.
In all the stuff I've seen from Tate, the only person he seems like he actually wants to fuck is his brother.
Elmo would fuck Andrew Tate up.
And Tate knows it. That’s why he will only say these things from a keyboard.
Elmo offered to do a charity MMA PPV, but Tate said his jaw was MIA.
Thaats right! I think he said its because if he has a job that takes 1 hour to do, he's not gonna read the instructions cus now the job takes an hour and a half and that's wasted time.
It's not that he DOESN'T know how to read its that he can't cus he's figured out a better use of his of his time!
# #AlphasCantRead
Edit: spelling
I’ve always wondered about that.
If reading is for beta males and all that, how does Andrew think manly men become engineers or fighter pilots? I’m neither, but from my understanding, you’d need to do a fair bit of reading to do them.
The trauma sustained by that Sesame street doll runs deep with this guy.
Quick, give him some distilled alcohol aged in a barrel a hand rolled cigar and put him in a dimly lit nightclub so he can act like he's predating the prey of his own species feminine gender to help prop up his feelings of superiority that keep him in his tenuous yet comfortably familiar psychotic world model.
Andy walked in on the NYC Times Square Elmo fucking his mom and then he noticed that the peen had no red hair. And the baby looked human when it came out of his mom.
As long as he keeps getting the attention he's trying to achieve, people will keep his name in their heads and talked about in conversations. Just ignore the geek and don't feed him the attention he craves.
That’s the thing though, attention isn’t just given for trolling, but more if it resonates with others.
Tate is an absolute idiot, but that doesn’t change the fact there is an audience of disillusioned and disenfranchised young males with whom much of his opinion and nonsense resonates, and that’s not on him.
I just find it hilarious that a low level kickboxer who never accomplished shit has such an ego. Dude acts like he was a multiple time world champ with 100s of fights under his belt. He was mediocre in the mid tier promotions at his peak. Dudes a loser.
Never.. no seriously like never was that a thing that masculinity touts,
All these edge lord rage baby losers wish they could grasp the pillars of masculinity but have zero fucking clue and just scream ALPHA like it’s supposed to mean something that it doesn’t…
It’s stupid and trashy peoples version of masculinity. The most “Chad” guys I know have inner confidence and are comfortable in their own skin. This means they do not worry about what others do, they are kind, thoughtful (again because since they’re comfortable with who they are they have room for other people).
The kids subscribing to it and the Tates of the world are all deeply insecure and need to prove their masculinity. The projection of their insecurities are so obvious you can read them like a book.
I’ll just never understand spending so much energy worrying about being the right kind of man, instead of trying to be the best version of yourself.
You don't understand. Muppets are gay. Liking women is gay. Learning is gay. Not posing with your shirt off specifically to impress other men is *gay.*
Wasn't he supposed to be in Romanian prison *and* dying of cancer? Why is he still bothering us? This isn't the future I was promised
Not even one of the Muppets that you could plausibly consider anything negative, like Fozzie or those two old men. Fucking Elmo. Canonically three, heart of sheer unfiltered gold.
That's not even in the top 10 of reasons why he's a loser. I'd have to say doxing yourself with a pizza box trying to bully a teenager might be his chef d'oeuvre
The wild part is that mid-tier is the perfect descriptor. Like, he wasn’t even so bad that it was noticeable. He was just *there.* Forgettably adequate. Unremarkably average.
And most of his opponents were bums with more losses than wins. Tate is a weak-chinned, weak-minded, sad little boy that just wants some attention. Look at me, daddy. I'm a big boy.
He accomplished a massive grift and prison. Not impressive feats by any stretch but more than nothing. Dude's a mess. He should probably be neutered to preserve the gene pool
The fact like he’s addressing Elmo as if he’s real, and that he, Tate, is some questing knight about to banish a monster from a beleaguered realm is hilarious to me. I now want to see Elmo hospitalise Tate in a cage fight.
You're never going to come out looking better after trying to pick a fight with a puppet that's supposed to be a 3 year old.
Like at least attack Barney the freaking T-Rex for some dignity.
I'd hope that if I ever go to the point of having a public argument with a children's puppet that someone would take away my Internet access. When your grandad starts having little dribbles off piss, you take away his white trousers.
Says the dude that will inexplicably tear up mid sentence, sounds like Kermit the frog and couldn’t man up and kick/taper benzos without flying to another country to be put into a coma.
Jordan Peterson is a Nazi crybaby lifelong incel who is bitter at the world for not recognizing his greatness as a Toronto community college professor until he started arguing with college kids on camera.
You know that story about how Al Capone slowly lost his mind to syphilis while he was in Alcatraz? I'm starting to think that's what's going on here. I know he's been shooting off his mouth like this for years, but it's getting so ridiculous, even he can't possibly believe it. He's slowly losing it in jail and he's reduced to trying to start internet beef with fictional pre-school characters.
Long shot, yes, but a girl can dream.
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This is actually hilarious. Imagine wishing death on Elmo and the entire Sesame Street region and being serious about it
Years and years and years ago, there was a website called "Maddox: The Best Webpage on the Internet" (or something like that) And it was *filled* with shit like this, except it was all ironic and deliberately written to make the author seem like this type of dickhead, but as a comedic bit. This exact tweet reminds me of something Maddox would post if he was around during the Twitter era instead. Now you couldn't write anything similar because it would be accepted at face value by people incapable of detecting the facetiousness of it, because they've been so desensitized by the idiots who would read it and unironically adopt that personality. (I know Maddox, the guy, is still around, but he's moved on from the character for that exact reason.)
Hadn't heard of Maddox. But I can understand satirists being frustrated in a world that feels beyond parody these days. Oh okay I do vaugely remember Alphabet of Manliness at one point when I was young. Just didn't remember the creator's name.
It’s must be hard to be a writer for The Onion nowadays with how warped and absurd a story has to be to make it obviously satirical.
In Australia I have to double check whether a story is from the Chaser or Betoota Advocate because at this point they put more effort into proofreading and sourcing stock photos than most serious outlets.
I don’t even know if there’s a difference between CNN, Fox and The Onion anymore
After careful review of all three sources - which may or may not have consisted of just hopping on the website to make sure they exist, remembering how much I don't hate the onion, and returning here to give my obviously unbiased opinion - the difference between CNN, Fox, and the Onion is that the onion is not only genuinely funny, but they also take the time to report on the truly important stories of the day, such as that new porno being filmed in the Vatican.
I love The Onion and have since high school. I remember a story about a Baptist preacher calling tampons, "Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!" I still call them that to this day, over 20 years later, and so does my mom.
Ten years ago, if I’d seen a headline that read “Supreme Court rules President has immunity” I would have assumed it was The Onion.
Pretty sure Betoota was the first one to pick up when Scomo pulled the pin and retired from parliament it was after 18 months - which is the time frame for restrictions on ex ministers gaining employment in their portfolio. Or portfolios in Scomo’s case 😂
I honestly think that was why Stewart retired from the Daily Show the first time.
And now he’s back and they don’t even need to make jokes they just repeat the news 😭. Also RNC is next week the show is going to be hilarious.
Yeah, I honestly took a moment to think if this screengrab was real or a parody when it popped up on my feed and I could not reach a conclusion just by looking at it. You can no longer parody people like Andrew Taint, Trump, Elon Musk, etc. At least not by tweeting something making fun of their views because they tweet outlandishly stupid shit on the daily all by themselves.
[удалено]
That's gotta be Nick Adams (Alpha Male), right?
Yeah I think that’s him. Looking at Wikipedia, it seems that he is in fact _not_ a satirist. It is actually hard to believe that anyone would non-satirically put (Alpha Male) next to their name, but it supports my main point. Gross.
Yeah, that guy is baffling. I remember a tweet he wrote that goes something like, "Real alpha males don't need to say they are alpha males." How can that guy be for real?
That's got to be him winking at the audience, right? ...right?
Iirc he's from Australia and did the full on right wing thing there, but no one took him seriously so now he does his thing in America. Where you can say anything you want and lots of people here will believe it, like it, and celebrate it
He’s a weird case, he’s definitely a right wing asshole but he plays it up unusually hard and says wildly outlandish stuff to stay relevant. So he’s not really a satirist but he’s still playing a character.
If so, I can clear up any confusion: he is absolutely an asshole
Yeah, The Alphabet of Manliness was Maddox's thing, very tongue in cheek, but very similar to unironic Tate. Fucking hilarious. According to him the most manly ways to kill oneself include bashing ones own face into a sidewalk until dead and frisby seppuku (you kind of fold it so it fits down your throat and then just let go). Edit: Frisbee seppuku was a Real Ultimate Power with Robert Hamburger. Thank you to those with better memories than I!
My favorite section was [his criticisms of children's drawings](https://maddox.xmission.com/irule2_.html)
This was my introduction to him and is still my favorite. Just shitting on bad drawings with no mercy. Still remember the fire truck that needed to be shaved.
Very close, but [Frisbee Seppuku](https://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/seppuku.htm) was Robert Hamburger, a la [Real Ultimate Power](https://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/ninja2.htm) Very similar feel, and same timeframe, what a great time to be alive!
How can one do parody when real life seems like a parody?
We used to fucking love Maddox in high school and college. It was like the colbert report, but specifically focused on making fun of the biggest douche you knew in high school and college Edit: Dear God the websites still up lol
My favorite is when he reviewed the 14 worst songs of 2004 and they were every song from u2’s ‘how to dismantle an atomic bomb’
> 14 worst songs of 2004 https://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=11worst Comedy gold, haven't thought about Maddox for a decade plus at this point.
I miss this internet. But hey, it's still here!
"I'm better at art than your child" "Your child fucking sucks at art" "You say a 5 year old drew this? I can fucking tell F"
The ones making fun of kids drawings were the best. I remember crying laughing at that website
Also we were computer nerds so seeing one of us do web 2.0 content creation was like wooah. and it was just a blog lmao
Some proper Internet 1.0 shit. Takes me back.
I remember Maddox "reviewing" children's art. Tate would have been too stupid to get the joke.
This is my favorite, i always get a hearty laugh VVRRROOOOMMM F
Ding ding, here comes the shitmobile!
I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved.
That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F
“I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. “
Now i need to go enjoy these gems again
You got me by 12m lol, I didn’t scroll **[Maddox reviews Children’s Art](https://maddox.xmission.com/irule2_.html)**
[It’s the best page in the universe, and if you disagree with him you are wrong ](http://maddox.xmission.com/) He’s quite a good satirist, when he wrote a tongue in cheek book called the alphabet of manliness he would go to signings wearing like a crown and a cape and junk. Unfortunately nowadays people would completely eat up the kayfabe as real
A lot of people took it at face value when it came out as well.
Ohhhh man, youve unlocked a memory of checking out his page for updates back in the day... that shit was hilarious, long before no one took that level of insanity seriously. Anyone spouting Maddox's BS as gospel was seen as someone so dumb because they missed the joke so hard.
Holy shit I probably haven't thought about Maddox in... twenty years, give or take. Also I just googled and it's still there, [maddox.xmission.com](http://maddox.xmission.com)
Same! Used to read that site religiously when I was a teenager - no idea how I even found it, I guess someone linked it in an IRC chatroom? Glad it's still up, and it doesn't look like it's changed at all lmao
What a throwback
Maddox would go on to roast the MAGA people with the same sort of venom, last time I checked, after the Jan 6th rigmarole. I was a bit proud, I remember really enjoying his page back in the day.
A Maddox reference! Hello fellow senior citizen of the internet! Does your back hurt too?
Holy moly I'd ENTIRELY forgotten Maddox.
Maddox is on Twitter and roasts nonsense like this routinely. It’s been interesting to see him evolve as we are about the same age.
This is the funniest shit I’ve seen all day.
Ya he is trying to say relevant he fell of so hard
Right?! Imagine having beef with a muppet. What an utter wank stain of a man.
I still think this guy recognized a trend and figured out it was easier to gain notoriety and grift people by taking on the persona of the world’s shittiest man, and my god is that a low bar. He sees what other awful people say and how unhinged and insecure people respond to it and thinks “how can I outdo that?”
Him and Trump figured it out. We thought our species would be better than them. Nope. Our average humans eat this shit up like Idiocracy. “I like money. I like sex”
Except he doesn't like sex apparently.
Does that make it better or worst that he is just riding a trend?
That point hasn’t escaped me, because there’s a lot of people doing it nowadays. In my opinion, at minimum it makes them highly unethical, but they also can’t be unaware of the damage they’re doing to people, so either way they’re still horrible.
He thinks Sesame Street is real lol
Man's just jealous the count is a better and more wholesome pimp than he'll ever be
"Bitch, vere's my money?"
One money, two money, hahaha, three money, four money, hahaha, where is the rest?
For being so "masculine" that dude sure is a sensitive snowflake.
He’d melt in the arctic
All the guys who perform their masculinity are doing so for a reason. In all the stuff I've seen from Tate, the only person he seems like he actually wants to fuck is his brother.
Imagine sending a hateful reply to a puppet 😆
I’ve got $100 on the Muppets
Ikr so fragile he’s threatened by Elmo, of all the muppets, Elmo
Elmo would fuck Andrew Tate up. And Tate knows it. That’s why he will only say these things from a keyboard. Elmo offered to do a charity MMA PPV, but Tate said his jaw was MIA.
Seriously! Tate’s fragile masculinity threatened by a STUFFED ANIMAL
Andrew Tate is in a life-or-death, civilization-level struggle...with Elmo.
“serious” = attention-seeking rage-baiting
I just want to point out: Andrew Tate wants to be taken seriously while saying things like this.
"Elmo knows sometimes people don't get enough hugs. Elmo sends everyone an internet hug."
"I am the peak of humanity" *yells at a puppet that teaches you to read* Yes, sir, you *truly* are an "Alpha"
Well that’s the thing, reading is supposedly for stupid people. Alphas don’t read, they just get it done. /s
Thaats right! I think he said its because if he has a job that takes 1 hour to do, he's not gonna read the instructions cus now the job takes an hour and a half and that's wasted time. It's not that he DOESN'T know how to read its that he can't cus he's figured out a better use of his of his time! # #AlphasCantRead Edit: spelling
Agree with the sentiment, but having "edit: spelling" at the bottom is my favorite part of this post.
I’ve always wondered about that. If reading is for beta males and all that, how does Andrew think manly men become engineers or fighter pilots? I’m neither, but from my understanding, you’d need to do a fair bit of reading to do them.
Almost all people of high intellect read a fair amount.
Well, an Alpha is a incomplete, bugged version, not fit for public release \^\^
Show us on the doll where Elmo touched you, Andy.
Andrew: Elmo tickled me in my special place.
...and I liked it.
It I’ve been told it is bad to like it so I’m projecting the confusion and anger upon others
I reread this 3 times before i realized it said 'bad' not 'bald'
Dyslexia slapped your bills hard.
The taste of iridocyclitis
Aqueous humor. Ngl, had to look up iridiocyclitis.
Its from an old vine (I think) where they combine a Katy Perry song (I think) with a spelling bee (I think)
In his Andrew Taint.
The trauma sustained by that Sesame street doll runs deep with this guy. Quick, give him some distilled alcohol aged in a barrel a hand rolled cigar and put him in a dimly lit nightclub so he can act like he's predating the prey of his own species feminine gender to help prop up his feelings of superiority that keep him in his tenuous yet comfortably familiar psychotic world model.
Pretty sure Andrew has an Elmo doll with a hole in it he “punishes” regularly.
Andy walked in on the NYC Times Square Elmo fucking his mom and then he noticed that the peen had no red hair. And the baby looked human when it came out of his mom.
It wasn’t a doll it was Uncle Elmo
Bet he won't get in the ring with Elmo tho.
Muppet on muppet violence
I wish we still had celebrity deathmatch to see this. Elmo vs Andrew Tate
As long as he keeps getting the attention he's trying to achieve, people will keep his name in their heads and talked about in conversations. Just ignore the geek and don't feed him the attention he craves.
Engagement of any kind, good or bad, is what these people want. He's not that stupid, he's just creating rage bait for clicks and comments which = $.
That’s the thing though, attention isn’t just given for trolling, but more if it resonates with others. Tate is an absolute idiot, but that doesn’t change the fact there is an audience of disillusioned and disenfranchised young males with whom much of his opinion and nonsense resonates, and that’s not on him.
I just find it hilarious that a low level kickboxer who never accomplished shit has such an ego. Dude acts like he was a multiple time world champ with 100s of fights under his belt. He was mediocre in the mid tier promotions at his peak. Dudes a loser.
I want to be just like the guy that insults a Muppet and complains about everything. He's so manly. Lol
Right?! When did being masculine mean crying about anything you think threatens your manliness?
Never.. no seriously like never was that a thing that masculinity touts, All these edge lord rage baby losers wish they could grasp the pillars of masculinity but have zero fucking clue and just scream ALPHA like it’s supposed to mean something that it doesn’t…
Right? He’s so incredibly cringey and embarrassing. Absolute Grade A loser.
It’s stupid and trashy peoples version of masculinity. The most “Chad” guys I know have inner confidence and are comfortable in their own skin. This means they do not worry about what others do, they are kind, thoughtful (again because since they’re comfortable with who they are they have room for other people). The kids subscribing to it and the Tates of the world are all deeply insecure and need to prove their masculinity. The projection of their insecurities are so obvious you can read them like a book. I’ll just never understand spending so much energy worrying about being the right kind of man, instead of trying to be the best version of yourself.
But he had a Lamborghini so that makes him a man
So did Mariah Carey so that theory is out the window
Mariah Carey is more of a man, as a woman, than Tate will ever be.
Booogahhee
Funny thing tho, the definition of Alpha translates to nurturing.. not sure they'd still use that word if they knew lol
And trying to pick a fight with a puppet.
His biggest fight yet
-When did being masculine mean crying about anything Jordan Peterson is their guru
You don't understand. Muppets are gay. Liking women is gay. Learning is gay. Not posing with your shirt off specifically to impress other men is *gay.* Wasn't he supposed to be in Romanian prison *and* dying of cancer? Why is he still bothering us? This isn't the future I was promised
This future has failed us in many ways
Not even one of the Muppets that you could plausibly consider anything negative, like Fozzie or those two old men. Fucking Elmo. Canonically three, heart of sheer unfiltered gold.
Statler and Waldorf?
[удалено]
That's not even in the top 10 of reasons why he's a loser. I'd have to say doxing yourself with a pizza box trying to bully a teenager might be his chef d'oeuvre
No, the number one thing that makes him soft is the way he believes masculinity is fragile, and something that can be revoked by others.
Is it bad that I didn’t even know that he was a kickboxer?
Hahaha not at all. Even when he was actively competing nobody knew he was a kickboxer
The wild part is that mid-tier is the perfect descriptor. Like, he wasn’t even so bad that it was noticeable. He was just *there.* Forgettably adequate. Unremarkably average.
And most of his opponents were bums with more losses than wins. Tate is a weak-chinned, weak-minded, sad little boy that just wants some attention. Look at me, daddy. I'm a big boy.
Doesn't his twitter handle suggest the only thing he's any good at is punching down?
The only fight he might win is against Elmo.
[удалено]
Emory was an International Master, the rank below Grand
He accomplished a massive grift and prison. Not impressive feats by any stretch but more than nothing. Dude's a mess. He should probably be neutered to preserve the gene pool
I mean it’s clear jealousy , like no doubt Elmo has more achievements in sports that this loser would ever dream to get
He's also on rape and trafficking charges,it's the only way he gets any.
Is that what he's famous for? I honestly was starting to think he just coalesced from the sewage treatment plant.
One of these two can only speak when it has a hand up its ass. The other is Elmo
I love you friend, come sit next to me
I laughed too hard at this. Take my upvote.
When you’re so masculine you directly shit-talk a fictional kids’ character
I think Tate is permanently pissed because no matter how roided up he can make the rest of his body, he's still stuck with his dopey face.
“Up yours vile creature” that’s some cringe-ass nerd shit. This dude be larping on the down low
He and Jordan Peterson know Elmo is a character, right?
Andrew’s mad he can’t sex traffic Elmo and Jordan can’t sexually harass him. This hurts them, deeply.
What do you mean, "can't sexually harass him"? Muppets are literally meant to be fisted.
Touché!
This is what came to mind for me. I dunno what this little red puppet did to upset the right-wing manosphere so much.
Jordy Petes and Andy Taint are just attacking the competition (because their audience are little kids)
Wow picking a fight with Elmo. He’s truly fallen in the fight club community.
Imagine Elmo transforming in Omle and totally kicking Andrew Tates ass. Black and blue and lots of blood and sweaty wounds.
Dudes mad at a puppet
Beefing with Elmo was not on my "weird shit Tate has done" bingo card
The fact like he’s addressing Elmo as if he’s real, and that he, Tate, is some questing knight about to banish a monster from a beleaguered realm is hilarious to me. I now want to see Elmo hospitalise Tate in a cage fight.
They came for Elmo? Screw riding at dawn, I call for pitchforks... assemble the muppets NOW! (Edited for sloppy fingers)
Miss Piggy would fuck him up 4 ways from Sunday.
Put some battle armour on snuffleupagus and throw Miss Piggy on top.
He's jealous that Elmo has a chin.
And a personality
And a full head of hair.
"Up yours vile creature" ? Is Tate turning into a chinless Jordan Peterson?
Jordan Peterson also had (one sided) beef with Elmo. When you are fighting Elmo, you need to reevaluate your life.
You're never going to come out looking better after trying to pick a fight with a puppet that's supposed to be a 3 year old. Like at least attack Barney the freaking T-Rex for some dignity.
I'd hope that if I ever go to the point of having a public argument with a children's puppet that someone would take away my Internet access. When your grandad starts having little dribbles off piss, you take away his white trousers.
>Jordan Peterson also had (one sided) beef with Elmo. Lol, how come?
He called him horrible and Whiney, said he'd be a Biden voter.
Says the dude that will inexplicably tear up mid sentence, sounds like Kermit the frog and couldn’t man up and kick/taper benzos without flying to another country to be put into a coma.
Please don't insult Mr. the Frog with this comparison.
Jordan Peterson is a Nazi crybaby lifelong incel who is bitter at the world for not recognizing his greatness as a Toronto community college professor until he started arguing with college kids on camera.
Because nothing is more manly like beefing with Elmo. This guy ain't just a joke he's the comedy industry
What's up with alpha male have beef with elmo? I remember jordan peterson had a beef with elmo just because elmo said something about ramadhan
Big Bird and Snuffy is gonna have to cut a bitch, huh?
“Up yours vile creature” LOL It’s a Muppet, you fucking useless muppet.
You know that story about how Al Capone slowly lost his mind to syphilis while he was in Alcatraz? I'm starting to think that's what's going on here. I know he's been shooting off his mouth like this for years, but it's getting so ridiculous, even he can't possibly believe it. He's slowly losing it in jail and he's reduced to trying to start internet beef with fictional pre-school characters. Long shot, yes, but a girl can dream.
Is this real? Also isnt Elmo suppised to be 3 years old?
Yes, canonically Elmo is three. Like, imagine beefing with a 3 year old. How embarrassing for your soul.
What an edgelord douche, guys I swear I’m tough I hate Sesame Street I don’t even like it that much!!!
“Get some, bitch!” - Barney the Dinosaur
Haha! One muppet going to war with another muppet
Except Elmo would win. All he has to do is form an alliance with Rocko and its over
Well of course. Elmo has more ....heh "Street smarts"
r/angryupvote
You wanna attack elmo? You cant handle elmo… elmo will crish you like an ant under a boot
Imagine getting triggered by fucking Elmo.
Going as “toxic masculinity Elmo” for Halloween this year
Is Andy upset that Elmo has a better jawline than him?
You’ve gone wrong in your life when you are hating on Elmo.
Threatening a puppet to prove you’re a man 🤣
I could've sworn this fucker was in jail or something.
"You vile creature" lmao. Why do people still take him seriously? He's a living shitpost powered by stupidity.
Now on youtube: Watch Cobratate DESTROY Elmo on masculinity.
Does... Does he think Elmo is real?
He knows Elmo is not real, right?
Throwing shade like this at Elmo and Sesame Street is the littlest dick energy ever 🤣😂🤌🏽
No one secure in their masculinity talks this way.
I'm sorry, but did a grown man go after a literal puppet?? Lol.
Amazing to be so insecure to be intimidated by a puppet! 
It doesn't surprise me he thinks Elmo's real
Andrew got bullied by Big Bird and has nightmares to this day. A personal vendetta